Lessons In Love According To Rick Sanchez

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What is love? Can we ask that question without referencing to a one-hit wonder R&B song from 1993? I think it’s a question worth asking and one people have been asking since the dawn of our species. Many men who are way smarter than I’ll ever be have tried to answer this question. Some have offered revealing insights. Others just use it as an excuse to whine about a cheating spouse.

Then, there’s Rick Sanchez. I know that by saying that name, I’ve completely altered the tone of this topic. I could’ve easily spent the next several paragraphs breaking down how the smartest men in history view love and how that understanding reveals itself in our modern concept of romance. For now, I’d rather scrutinize love from the perspective of a hard-drinking, brutally honest, nihilistic cartoon character from Adult Swim.

Yep, I’m referring to this guy again.

Make no mistake. I’m not just using this as another excuse to talk about “Rick and Morty,” although I wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking that. I really do think characters like Rick Sanchez have something to teach us on the topic of love. Being an admitted romantic and aspiring erotica/romance writer, I believe those lessons are worth heeding.

On paper, Rick Sanchez is the last person most would go to for insights into love. From the first scene in the first episode, he establishes himself as an overly-cynical, high-functioning alcoholic who may or may not be okay with blowing up the world for the sake of a fresh start. To say he’s not the romantic type would be like saying Jerry needs help with his golf game.

However, Rick does demonstrate throughout the show that he has a capacity for love. He has even had a few moments where he has shown genuine heart. There’s an odd mix of eccentricity and complexity to Rick’s behavior. That’s part of what makes him such an endearing character and why he resonates so much with an emerging generation.

From all that chaos, though, there are insights worth noting. “Rick and Morty” may go heavy with nihilism and moments of existential crisis, but it doesn’t avoid the impact of love. Whether it’s Morty constantly trying to get with Jessica or the constant upheavals in Beth and Jerry’s marriage, love is an underlying factor throughout the show.

This is despite the fact that Rick is pretty overt about his feelings on love. In “Rick Potion #9,” the sixth episode of the first season, he gives his clearest, most quote-worthy opinion on love.

“Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call ‘love’ is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.”

That sounds pretty jaded, to say the least. It’s perfectly fitting with Rick’s misanthropic mentality. However, there is a context here and one that’s fairly subtle, as things tend to be in the world of “Rick and Morty.”

Part of that context is Rick’s family situation. Beyond being a drunk and an eccentric mad scientist, he also has a family. It’s not just his daughter and two grandkids, either. He mentions in his cynical musings that he’d fallen in love and gotten married at one point.

That, alone, has some pretty profound implications. It shows that even the smartest, most capable man in the multiverse cannot avoid the impact of love. Keep in mind, this is a man who travels the multiverse on a whim, defeats Thanos-level super-villains while drunk, and understands how meaningless everything is in the grand scheme of things.

Despite all that, Rick Sanchez still fell in love. He still got married. That, in and of itself, shows the power of love better than any Huey Lewis song. While the show hasn’t revealed much about his former wife, Diane, it does establish an important fact. Rick is capable of love, even when he sees it as just a confluence of brain chemicals.

The show goes onto to reveal that Rick is still influenced by love, despite this reductionist understanding of it. The most comprehensive example comes in Season 2, Episode 3, “Auto Erotic Assimilation.” In many ways, this episode helps convey the most meaningful lesson in love that any animated series has ever attempted.

In the episode, Rick catches up with an old girlfriend, who happens to be an alien hive mind named Unity. If that sounds weird, even by “Rick and Morty” standards, trust me when I say it doesn’t crack the top ten. The fact that Unity is a hive mind is part of why the insights are so unique and impactful.

Throughout the episode, we learn about the particulars of Rick and Unity’s relationship. Unity establishes herself as one of the few beings in the multiverse who can keep up with Rick’s eccentricities. If anything, she has to be a hive mind in order to do so, as evidenced by Rick’s elaborately kinky requests.

In this context, Unity is the ultimate manifestation of supportive lover. She can literally do anything and be anywhere because she has the collective resources of an entire planet at her disposal. She’s more capable than a shape-shifter like Mystique or even an advanced sex robot.

If she wants to make love as a beautiful, buxom blond right out of a Playboy centerfold, she can do that. If she wants to do it as a greasy-haired, middle-aged man with a hairy back and bad breath, she can do that too. She can be two people, ten people, or as many people as she wants to be to love Rick and express that love however they want.

This breaks down, however, when Unity’s efforts to pursue that romance with Rick ends up straining her ability to maintain her hive mind. It gets so strenuous, at one point, that it leads to a nipple-driven race war on the planet. Again, this is pretty standard in terms of weirdness for “Rick and Morty.”

The implications of this breakdown are serious and I’m not referring to the nipple-driven race war. Logistically speaking, Rick and Unity had everything they needed to make their relationship work. They had unlimited resources and unlimited opportunities for intimacy, decadence, and everything in between. In exercising that, though, their relationship devolved into an ongoing spiral of self-destruction.

There was clear, unambiguous love between Rick and Unity. However, the act of being together proved toxic to both of them. Unity couldn’t be with Rick without losing herself, literally and figuratively. Rick couldn’t be with Unity without descending into a spiral of debauchery. Even if the love is there, embracing it leads to both of them getting hurt.

This made for one of the most dramatic and emotional moments of the show, one that reveals just how much Rick loved Unity. After she leaves him, it really hits him on an emotional level, so much so that he nearly kills himself. Remember, this is a man who said love is nothing more than a chemical reaction in the brain.

The pain in that moment, though, belabors a much larger point about love and being with someone. Just loving someone is easy. As Rick says, it’s just a chemical reaction in your brain. It’s something that can happen to anyone, even the smartest man in the multiverse.

However, being with someone and expressing the full spectrum of love involves much more than convergent brain chemistry. For some people, love can be downright destructive. If pursuing love means undermining your sense of being, as happened with Unity, then that’s a sign that the relationship isn’t tenable.

It’s tragic, but unavoidable. You can love someone with all your heart, but not be capable of having a functional relationship. It’s a harsh reality, one that’s perfectly in line with the nihilistic subtext in “Rick and Morty.” At the same time, though, there’s a less dire lesson to be learned.

Even if love is just a brain function that helps propogate the species, it has the power to affect us in the best and worst of ways. It can lead us to the greatest of joys, as Rick and Unity experienced for a brief time. It can also lead us to the worst of sorrows. Few other brain functions can make that claim.

That wide range of experiences are a powerful mechanism for finding meaning in a meaningless universe. Rick Sanchez doesn’t avoid the pain in those experiences and he doesn’t hesitate to pursue the joys, often to a reckless degree. Finding meaning in this universe is hard enough, but love can do plenty to carry us forward. You don’t have to be a Rick-level genius to appreciate that, although that’s probably a good thing.

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Filed under gender issues, Marriage and Relationships, philosophy, Rick and Morty, romance

“Tea Time” A Sexy Short Story

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The following is a sexy short story I wrote that was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend involving tea. It wasn’t all that sexy at the time, but it gave me some sexy ideas. Enjoy!

“Drink this and Jeff will fuck you like a stallion!”

That was what Jessica King’s eccentric Aunt Mayne had told her the other day when she gave her an unmarked box of custom tea packs. She didn’t entirely recall what had led to them talking about sex life, but it happened and she was still recovering from the embarrassment.

Then again, she hadn’t exactly been too subtle about the recent shortcomings in her personal life lately. Her friends and family had commented more than once that she looked overly uptight and exceedingly stressed, especially for someone who worked her dream job as a costume designer and married her college sweetheart. Jessica had so few reasons to complain that she had to be extra subtle about her problems, but that proved challenging when it came to sex.

Standing in her kitchen, staring at the unmarked box her Aunt had given her, she wasn’t sure what to make of it. There were no labels or logos on the side. Her Aunt Mayne clearly hadn’t bought it from the internet or anything. She was the eccentric of the family, a free spirited older woman who loved to travel and bring back strange souvenirs. Her bringing back exotic tea seemed perfectly in character.

Tea that would fix her sex life, though? That was pushing it, even by eccentric Aunt Mayne standards.

“You were really eager to give this to me, Aunt Mayne,” Jessica said as she picked up the box. “I wish I knew why, but I’m kind of afraid to wonder.”

Curious, and even a little intrigued, she opened the box and took out a couple of tea bags. She scanned them briefly. Near as she could tell, they were ordinary looking bags. When she smelled them, though, they didn’t smell like ordinary tea.

“That aroma…what the hell is that?” Jessica wondered. “It’s nice, but…different.”

She wasn’t sure what to make of it. She didn’t remember her Aunt Mayne giving her specifics. She’d just told her to drink the tea and that would somehow solve her and Jeff’s intimacy problems. It seemed too good to be true, but given the current state of their sex life, Jessica was willing to take chances.

“Well, if I’m going to take advice from a crazy aunt, I might as well get a little crazy myself,” she said with a shrug.

Choosing not to overthink it, she set the box aside and went to work making some late afternoon tea. She retrieved the pot from the stove, filled it with water, and heated it up. As it warmed up, she took her and Jeff’s favorite mugs from the kitchen cabinet.

Given the cold, stormy weather outside, it was a good time for tea. She and Jeff often enjoyed sharing a cup or two in the later afternoon when it was too late for coffee. It was Saturday as well, which happened to be the only day of the week when they got to spend the whole day together. Jeff often visited his aging grandmother at a nursing home on Sundays and she worked irregular hours during the week. If they were going to improve their sex lives, it was going to happen on a Saturday.

As the water heated up, Jessica wondered how it got to this point. She and Jeff used to be such a passionate, playful couple. Even during college, while holding down a full load of classes, they somehow found the time and energy to have sex at least five times a week. At one point, they were doing it twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. It was their morning wake-up call and midnight snack, as Jeff once described.

“I miss those days,” Jessica said distantly as the kettle started steaming.

It seemed so long ago, but it wasn’t that far back. She still had some of the lingerie she’d worn during the many passionate nights they shared in that cramped, unkempt apartment they’d once lived in. Jeff once joked that their clean and spacious house just wasn’t dirty enough for the kinky sex they used to have. She now suspected that hadn’t been joking.

Neither one of them knew when their current sexual dry spell began. Jessica suspected it began earlier that spring. In the span of a month, her mother got divorced for the second time, Jeff’s grandfather passed away, and one of her step-sisters went to jail. None of that should’ve impacted their sex life, which had been pretty healthy up to that point. Over time, though, it just seemed to fade.

Little by little, their intimate moments became less frequent. Even when they had sex, it was less about passion and more about scratching an itch. They treated sex almost like an extra meal, something they did to fulfill a basic need and nothing more. There was never any desert or snacking, so to speak. Then, a couple of months ago, it stopped entirely and that really worried her.

“Is it just a dry spell? Or a sign of things to come?” Jessica wondered.

Those were tough questions that no married woman wanted to contemplate. Thankfully, the tea kettle started hissing and that drew her attention.

With another sigh, she removed the kettle and poured the water into their mugs. Using two of the bags from the box, she steeped the exotic leaves into the steamy water to disperse the flavors. That strange smell quickly filled the kitchen, but it beat the smell of week-old leftovers that usually filled the air.

“Hey Jeff! I made us some tea,” she called out as she made her way to the dining room with both cubs in hand.

“Great! I’ll be right there,” Jeff replied from his office where he’d been video chatting with some friends.

She briefly debated telling him about the source of the tea, but Jessica doubted he’d care. Jeff was one of those guys who drank his coffee black, bought the cheapest beer, and didn’t go for fancy wine. His tastes were simple. If it was warm, tasty, and soothing, he drank it. He was easy to please, in that respect. That made their recent struggles in the bedroom all the more frustrating.

Jessica waited a moment for the tea to cool down before drinking it. After a couple minutes, Jeff entered the dining room, still wearing the same unwashed football jersey he’d worn to bed the previous night. Usually, she’d berate him for wearing a shirt that long. On such a dreary day where everything felt so overwhelming, she just didn’t have the energy.

“Tea…just what I need,” he said as he sat down across from her. “That’s decaf, right?”

“As far as I know, it’s the mild stuff,” Jessica replied, which was only a half-truth. “It won’t keep either of us from taking a nap this afternoon.”

“Good,” Jeff said, “because I do not have the energy for more jitters. I just found out my uncle Rob is still arguing with my dad on my grandfather’s old house. On top of that, the heater is going to be stuck at half-capacity for a few more days.”

“So it’s going to be cold and depressing for a bit longer,” she said. “Maybe I should’ve broken out the vodka.”

“Better save that for tonight. I swear if my dad calls me again to whine about that lawyer Uncle Rob hired…”

Her husband trailed off, shaking his head in frustration as he took his first sip of the tea. It was probably best he didn’t finish. Jeff had done plenty of complaining about his ongoing family dramas since his grandfather died. He was probably just as sick of talking about it as much as she was hearing it.

At the very least, he didn’t react strongly to the tea. He sipped it like he did any other hot drink. Assured that there was nothing strange about it, Jessica drank some as well. To her relief, it tasted fine, which made her wonder why her Aunt Mayne made such a big deal about it in the first place.

“This is good,” Jeff said, “just what I needed too. I swear these past couple of weeks are conspiring against me.”

“To be fair, nobody conspired to damage those rusted coils in the heater,” Jessica pointed out as she took another sip. “That was just us putting off maintenance work way longer than we should have.”

“The timing still sucks,” he said. “I don’t know how much longer I can play mediator with my family. It’s not fair to you or the guys at work.”

“So electricians aren’t immune to family drama? I’m genuinely shocked,” Jennifer said dryly.

“Yeah, you’d think the fear of electrocution would distract a guy. Guess I’m too brave for my own good.”

“Or just too human,” she pointed out, “which isn’t a bad thing, mind you. Someone has to have humility in a family drama. That sure would’ve helped my sister during her last divorce.”

“True,” Jeff said, “but I just wish someone else would bear the burden. It isn’t fair to me, my folks, and especially you.”

He reached across the table and held her hand. On such a cold, dreary day, the warmth of his touch was just what she needed. It got her to smile for the first time in days. He smiled back and drank more of his tea.

“I know this crap has been affecting us, Jess,” he went on. “I know I keep apologizing and you keep saying it’s all right.”

“That’s because I mean it,” Jessica said, giving his hand an affectionate squeeze. “Hell, I’ve whined just as much about my sister’s latest failed marriage so I’d say we’re even.”

“Even or not, that doesn’t make it right,” Jeff said strongly. “Being so damn overwhelmed on our own shouldn’t make us too overwhelmed for each other.”

“We’ll endure. I married you because I knew we could.”

“And I married you because you kept my attitude in check,” he said, “that and you make good tea.”

“Glad to know I’m doing okay thus far, as your wife,” she laughed.

He smiled again, but he remained restless as he drank the rest of his tea. Jessica did the same, finishing hers fairly quickly. Between the lack of a functioning heater and family drama, a warm beverage went a long way in improving her mood.

As she finished the last few sips, though, she started to feel something unexpected. As she held her husband’s hand, Jessica felt a sudden heat in her core. It started small. She figured it was just the tea entering her stomach. Then, that heat grew and made its way downward, eventually settling between her legs. Before long, it morphed from bodily warmth to full-fledged sexual arousal.

She began shifting in her seat, thinking it was just a fluke. The feeling didn’t go away, though. It had been a while since she’d gotten randomly aroused on a Saturday afternoon, but she still remembered what it felt like. It could’ve just been a byproduct of her and Jeff’s recent dry spell, but Jessica sensed other forces at work.

“The tea,” she said distantly, looking down at her empty up.

“Is really good, by the way,” Jeff said, whose demeanor had shifted as well. “I don’t know what flavor this is, but there’s something about it that just feels strong. Are you sure it doesn’t have caffeine in it?”

“I’m sure…mostly,” Jessica said.

Jeff eagerly gulped down the rest. He had let go of her hand and was now staring intently at his empty cup. He clearly sensed something too. She even saw him shift in his seat somewhat. Those old jeans of his suddenly looked uncomfortable.

As Jessica tried to make sense of the feeling, she felt more heat consume her body. It wasn’t just concentrated between her legs, either. It spread out in all directions. Her skin felt hotter, breaking out in a light sweat and in a house with a half-functioning heater, no less. Her clothes felt itchy as well, which shouldn’t have been possible since she was wearing a T-shirt and sweat pants. It got to a point where the arousal was so intense that it didn’t feel natural.

“Whatever was in it, I’m feeling it,” Jeff said. “I swear this room just got ten degrees hotter.”

“Yeah,” she said distantly, “maybe the heater is working better than we thought.”

“That piece of junk? I doubt it.”

Jeff, his face now flushed, removed his shirt and wiped some light sweat from his brow. That might have helped him, but it only compounded the feeling for Jessica.

She was already inextricably aroused. Seeing her husband shirtless – a man who spent a lot of time in the sun at work and played sports in college – only intensified that feeling.

“Oh boy…damn you, Aunt Mayne,” Jessica said under her breath, now rubbing her thighs together.

“You say something, Jess?” he asked her.

“No!” she said quickly. “I mean…I guess I’m feeling it too.”

“Really?”

She tried to respond, but only ended up smiling awkwardly. There was no denying it anymore. She wasn’t just horny. She hadn’t felt this aroused since their honeymoon. Sitting across from her shirtless husband, having not had satisfying sex in way too long, she felt basic instincts overshadow her ability to rationalize the situation.

“Jessica?” Jeff said after a brief silence. “Are you okay?”

He took her hand in his again. That might have been the best or worst thing he could’ve done. Feeling his touch triggered even more instincts. His palms were already sweaty, excreting a distinct scent of manliness that filled the air between them with more than just heat.

Looking up from her cup and into his eyes, she saw the same effects as well. His face still flushed and his breathing now labored, she could tell he was aroused too. She didn’t need to see an uncomfortable bulge in his pants. Jessica knew her husband well enough to know when he was really in the mood. Whether from the tea or pent up frustration, Jeff had the eyes of a man who needed to fuck.

“Jeff,” she began, “this may sound kind of random, but…”

“You want to fuck right here on the table?” he said intently, desire echoing through every word.

“Well, I wasn’t going to be that specific, but if that’s how you want to do it…”

Jessica didn’t get a chance to finish. She didn’t have the patience and neither did Jeff. In an outburst of lust that overwhelmed every other burden they’d dealt with, they shot up from their seat, leaned across the table, and kissed each other with the passion of a couple of horny prom dates. Before she knew it, Jeff had grabbed her T-shirt, pulled it off over her head, and removed her bra with stunning efficiency.

“Off! Get it off!” she found herself saying.

Their lips parted just long enough for him to get her shirt off. Now topless, he breasts exposed and her nipples erect, Jessica crawled up onto the table, knocking the two tea cups off in the process and onto the carpeted floor. They didn’t shatter or leave much of a mess, but she didn’t care. She’d clean it up later. For the moment and foreseeable future she just wanted to fuck her husband.

Now propped on her knees in the center of the table, Jessica smothered her husband with a fury of kisses while he fondled her exposed breasts. She kissed with more tongue than she had on their third date, throwing in a potent blend of affection and lust. She also pawed his upper body, feeling those manly sinews that once drove her so wild with desire. After a prolonged absence, those desires were back with a vengeance.

“Jeff…I’m so horny,” Jessica said in her depending daze.

“Me too,” he said as he gave her breasts a firms squeeze. “I don’t know why, but I want to fuck you so bad right now, Jess!”

Jessica made the tea in hopes of warming herself up and getting Jeff away from the drama surrounding his dad. She’d succeeded in that, not giving too much thought to her Aunt Mayne’s claim about the tea. Now, she found herself wondering whether she’d been too skeptical of her eccentric aunt.

Colorful family members were the last thing on her mind, at the moment. Having made his intent clear, Jeff stepped up the pace of their foreplay. After fondling her breasts and reacquainting his tongue with hers, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer. In the process, she shifted her body so that she sat upright on the edge of the table with her legs hanging over the side. With little hesitation and growing eagerness on her part, he lifted up her lips slightly and pulled off her sweat pants.

When he failed to remove her panties, as well, he just grabbed ripped them off, tearing through the fabric in the process. It caught her by surprise, somewhat. Jeff could be pretty passionate during sex, but he hadn’t been that aggressive in quite some time. Torn panties aside, Jessica remembered how much she loved it.

“I’ll replace those,” he told her.

“I don’t care,” Jessica told him. “Now what are you waiting for? Get those pants off!”

Showing some aggressiveness of her own, she shot her husband a look of urgency and desire. Now fully naked, her legs spread and her arousal obvious for him to see, Jessica left no room for ambiguity. She wanted to fuck and she wanted it now.

Jeff responded like soldier on a mission, almost tearing his own pants off in the process. That proved somewhat difficult because of a sizable bulge that even a pair of loose jeans couldn’t hide. He still managed to get it off, freeing a raging hard-on that she hadn’t seen since their anniversary last year. Jessica didn’t think it was possible for a man to get that hard that quickly, but she was beyond caring about the specifics.

“Come here, beautiful,” he told her, sounding like the most suave man in the world.

“Take me, my husband,” Jessica replied, trying to sound like the most seductive.

Wasting no time and not hesitating for a microsecond, he grabbed her by the thighs, pushed them apart, and pulled her closer into his grasp. She eagerly leaned back on her arms, hooking her legs around his waist as he guided his rigid member towards her wet entrance. He then thrust his hips forward, driving his dick into her pussy. The smooth melding of their flesh flooded Jessica with an onslaught of welcome and overdue sensations.

“Ohhh yes!” she moaned. “That’s what I want!”

“And that’s what you’ll get,” Jeff said intently.

Showing a grit that sent her feminine instincts into overdrive, Jeff began fucking her with a fervor that rocked the table, if not the entire room. He was strong and fervent with each movement, pumping his throbbing cock within the tight folds of her depths. The merging of their flesh was so smooth, as though their bodies had ached for one another on a primal level.

Following her husband into the intense sexual rhythm, Jessica leaned back further on the table and moaned blissfully at the steady stream of pleasure. She dug her feet into his lower back, supplementing each one of his thrusts with some force of her own. Her breasts bounced along with the rest of the table, the shared movements of their sex evoking that special kind of intimacy and ecstasy.

It was so fast and intense that it sent Jessica to the brink of orgasm in record time. It felt like Jeff had found a short-cut of sorts, one that stimulated just the right nerves in just the right places. Having not had a good, solid release in so long, Jessica embraced that feeling to the utmost.

“Ooh I’m coming, Jeff! I…I’m coming!” she cried out.

Jeff barely faltered. If anything, he stepped up the pace of their sex, fucking her harder and rocking her body with more vigor. He even leaned in, burying his face between her breasts and smothering her cleavage with his lips. It made Jessica squeal with delight, having not forgotten how much he loved playing with her breasts during sex. It had been a while since he’d been that playful and it gave the orgasm that followed even greater meaning.

“Ohhh Jeff!”

It hit her like a tidal wave. She closed her eyes, threw her head back, and curled her toes as a sharp surge of pleasure erupted from her core. Under the weight of such sensations, Jessica felt her inner muscles contracting around her husband’s cock, he echoes of ecstasy radiating from head to toe.

She would’ve fallen flat on the table had Jeff not caught her, holding her up and giving her something to cling to as she climaxed. Even in his lustful daze, his love for her and his fondness of watching her come showed. It made the release that much more satisfying.

“Wow! You were really that horny,” he said into her ear as she soaked in her climax.

“Speak…for yourself,” Jessica quipped in her orgasmic daze.

“Why speak when I can show you?”

There was a mischievous undertone to his voice, the kind he rarely used outside their kinkiest moments. Even after an overdue orgasm, Jessica still had plenty of desire for sex and Jeff was all too willing to oblige.

Before she fully recovered from their climax, he adjusted their bodies. First, he briefly withdrew from her still-throbbing vagina. Then, he pulled her forward a bit and turned her over so that she was now bent over the table. Now clinging to the sides for support, she could already feel Jeff positioning himself behind her for more sex.

“Do it, Jeff. Show me!” she told him, still drunk on the ecstasy.

He replied with a deep, masculine grunt that kept her instincts in overdrive. Grabbing hold of her hips once more, he guided his dick back towards her wet entrance and entered her once more. He then re-established a sexual rhythm, going even harder and faster than before. He even kicked the chair out of the way so that he had more room to work.

With her breasts now pressed up against the polished wood, holding onto both sides for whatever leverage she could manage, Jessica gladly accommodated her husband’s burning desires. He’d been so efficient at bringing her to orgasm. It was only fair that she did the same and after everything he’d gone through with his family, he needed it.

As he worked his cock inside her, his pelvis rhythmically smacking against her butt, Jessica bucked her hips, parted her legs a bit more, and tensed her inner muscles in accord with every thrust. His flesh sought hers and her flesh embraced his, a perfect harmony of desire and entwinement. It was the kind of intimate act they’d cherished for as long as they’d been together. Enjoying it once more was both refreshing and profound.

Her efforts didn’t go rewarded. Jessica knew the kinds of stuff that got her husband off and few things worked better than him just getting behind her and hammering away, allowing him to exercise the extent of his desires. The end result was almost as efficient for him as it was for her.

“Jessica! I…I’m close! I’m really…really close!” Jeff grunted as his movements grew more desperate.

“I’m ready, my love,” Jessica moaned. “You need this too. We both do.”

As her husband delivered the last round of thrusts, Jessica rose up a bit from her position. She then reached behind, grabbed his wrists, and guided his hands to her breasts. He’d always enjoyed squeezing them when he climaxed. Her remembering that was her way of showing that she hadn’t forgotten how much they enjoyed each other’s intimate company. Hopefully, it would also ensure they wouldn’t forget in the future.

With her breasts, among other things, in his hands, Jeff let out a round of deep, manly moans as he crossed that special threshold. His movements steadied, his body tensed, and manhood throbbed inside her as he achieved his long-awaited release. Jessica let out a moan as well upon feeling his manly fluid mix with her feminine juices. It symbolized a perfect blending of passions, culminating in a unique kind of ecstasy.

“God, I love you, Jessica,” he said breathlessly.

“I love you too, Jeff,” Jessica said affectionately.

After he soaked in the orgasmic sensations, he withdrew from her, giving her room to turn around and take him in her arms. Just as he’d done with her, she caught him before the weight of the pleasure could overwhelm his sense of balance. He eagerly accepted her embrace, as well as the loving kiss that came with it.

“That…was something else, Jess,” Jeff said, having finally caught his breath.

“Yeah…it was,” Jessica replied with a beaming smile.

“That was also some really good tea,” he added, the half-smirk revealing that he’d made the connection.

“I agree…really good.”

They both laughed. Apparently, her eccentric Aunt Mayne had been right. Whatever was in that tea did wonders for her sex life. She would have to find out where she got it and how to get more the first chance she got.

For the moment, though, she and Jeff lingered together for a moment, now naked and sweaty in the middle of their dining room. In a home with a clunky heater, it was a damn good feeling. They still had to lean back on the table for support. Jessica also felt some lingering desire within her, as well as from her husband.

“So…want to take this to the living room and work on a few rug burns?” Jeff suggested.

“Hell yes!” Jessica said without hesitation. “First, I should probably make us some more tea.”

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Filed under Sexy Short Story, Uncategorized

The (Distant) Future Of Marvel, Disney, And Entertainment

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I like to talk about the future. I don’t claim to have any special insight, but I suspect I give it more thought than most. I also believe I tend to think farther into the future than most. Whether it’s contemplating the future of how we’ll organize our society or how our sex lives will evolve, I try to contemplate possibilities beyond the next iPhone upgrade.

One aspect of the distant future that concerns me has to do with boredom, namely how it may become a much larger problem and how we’ll go about alleviating it. I’ve done plenty to argue that boredom can be a dangerous force, from creating immortal super-villains to subverting the very concept of Hell. If our future is to be stable, prosperous, and fun, we’ll need some form of entertainment.

With that critical goal in mind, I’d like to speculate on a potential brand of future entertainment that ties directly with the industry that we know today. Specifically, I’d like to imagine how big entertainment companies like Disney will continue to function in world where advanced artificial intelligence, brain implants, and near-universal access to the internet is a thing.

I feel the time is right to think about such things because just last week, Disney radically altered the entertainment industry by purchasing Fox. Beyond just getting the X-men and Fantastic Four rights back for Marvel, Disney bought a massive library of intellectual property that is potentially worth billions. Being a successful business with shareholders, and all, they’re going to want to make billions more.

How exactly are they going to go about that, though? That’s a question worth asking because the answer for the near future is probably not going to work for the distant future. Sure, Disney will probably rake in plenty of profits at the box office, just as they’ve done with Pixar, Marvel, and Star Wars. However, the movie and toy industry can only go so far.

While box office revenue is up, actual ticket sales are way down. More people are opting to stream their content directly, bypassing pay TV and theaters entirely. The same is true for print media, including comic books. Even toy sales are in decline. This is not good for a company like Disney, which has built its empire on media and merchandise.

That’s not to say things are dire. Disney has been around for almost 100 years. In that time, it has adapted through plenty of upheavals. If it’s going to survive another 100 years, though, it’ll have to adapt to a radically different landscape. Buying Fox is likely part of that process. Disney has already made clear that it plans to start a streaming service to compete with Netflix and Amazon.

That’s a good start, but a streaming service is probably not going to be enough, especially in a future where people live longer, work less, and can share more than just text messages with one another. If Disney wants to continue being at the forefront of entertainment, it’ll have to innovate in ways that leverage future technology in new ways.

After the purchase of Fox, though, Disney may actually be in the best possible position compared to every other entertainment company that exists today. That’s because, unlike its competitors, it has a wealth of intellectual property that it owns outright. From Micky Mouse to Marvel heroes, the library of Disney-owned characters is truly staggering.

In the past, this gave Disney the ability to make or license movies, toys, and games for billions. In the future, those mediums won’t be nearly as profitable, but not because those things will fall out of style. I believe that for Disney to make more billions, it’ll utilize its intellectual property in a very different way, one that will likely require an entirely new approach to entertainment.

Think, for a moment, about the current experience you get from a movie theater, a TV show, or even a life show. You sit in a seat and you just watch. You take in the sights and sounds. If done right, it creates a spectacle that you enjoy. However, the fact that the spectacle only utilizes major senses is somewhat limiting.

What if, instead, you weren’t just an audience member sitting in a seat? What if it actually felt like you were there? What if you felt like you were standing next to Captain America as he battled the Red Skull? What if you felt like you were there when Micky Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy all broke out into a joyous musical number?

I’m not just talking about better animation or virtual reality. I’m talking about a form of entertainment that makes your brain actually feel as though you’re experiencing something. It’s not quite like the holodeck on “Star Trek.” It’s more like plugging into “The Matrix,” but for reasons other than learning Kung Fu or having existential breakdowns.

Unlike “The Matrix,” though, you wouldn’t be the catalyst for the story. That’s something Disney would take care of, providing only the world and the vast array of sensations that come with it. Instead of paying for a movie ticket, you pay for an experience that lets you interact or feel part of a story involving Iron Man, Micky, or Buzz Lightyear.

That will likely be the most valuable resource of future entertainment, powerful experiences that give customers the rush and fulfillment of being there. Instead of going to a theater or theme park, they would just plug something into their brains, possibly through an implant like the ones Elon Musk is developing with Neuralink. From there, the experience will be directly streamed right into their brain.

It may sound invasive, but we already share so much of ourselves online, from what we had for lunch to the most intimate aspects of our personal lives. We’re already in the early stages of merging our technology. We already see our smartphones as integral parts of our lives. Why wouldn’t we do the same for brain implants?

Unlike a smartphone, a machine/brain interface can’t be dropped into the toilet or left behind by accident. That same interface won’t just augment the ability of our brains to access the entire wealth of human knowledge. They’ll allow us to directly stimulate the areas that forge our entire perception of the world around us.

This has huge implications, some more profound than others. For companies like Disney, though, that link will be critical with respect to maintaining its place as a dominant entertainment company. People already pay for powerful experience, be they movies, video games, or a full-body massage at a spa. Disney could simply cut out the middle-men while leveraging its vast library of intellectual property.

Sure, in the future, you could probably pay for fancy experiences like those offered in “Total Recall.” However, if you want an experience that allows you to be a Jedi, an Avenger, or a singing animal, you’ll have to go through Disney and they’ll be happy to sell you that experience for a price.

Every week, you’ll be able to select from a range of intense experiences the same way you navigate your Netflix queue. For some, you don’t need to leave your bed. You just plug a device into your brain and let it go from there. For others, maybe you travel to special venues that function like the holodecks in “Star Trek.” There, you could share the experience with others, making it a communal experience.

Disney would still likely need content-creators to craft those experiences. That means people like George Lucas and Kevin Feige will still have a job in this future. The particulars of those jobs would be very different, but the goal would be the same. They would create experiences and stories that people are willing to pay for.

As unpredictable as the future is, it’s still safe to assume that people are going to want entertainment. Wherever there’s a want, there will be a business willing to provide it. There will be competition. There will be billions, if not trillions, to be made in profits. Not every company around today will survive that competition. Disney, however, is already in the best possible position to thrive.

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Filed under Artificial Intelligence, futurism, media issues, movies, Sexy Future, War on Boredom

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Pool Party Edition

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Who doesn’t enjoy a good pool party in the middle of summer? Seriously, you’d have to be an inherently miserable person or a vampire to not find some joy in it. As a kid, they were often the best part of my summer. Even as an adult, they still rank right up there, albeit behind bikinis and topless sunbathers.

A pool party is like anti-school. It’s a manifestation of the best parts of a particular time of year. School make take up a good chunk of that year, but that makes events like pool parties even more special. They’re a celebration of a wonderful time of year when you can sleep in on weekdays, not have to worry about homework, and take mid-day naps by the pool.

I grew up in a neighborhood where there was at least one pool party a month in the summer. I currently live in a community where we had one just yesterday. You’re never too old to enjoy it. That’s why I dedicate this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts to pool parties and all the summer joy they bring.


“Situation and circumstance determine whether being naked makes for a terrible nightmare or a sexy fantasy.”


“Fake tits won’t make up for a fake personality, but they will offer a welcome distraction.”


“Strippers are the first (and still best) manifestation of interactive porn.”


“Softcore porn is like pizza without toppings in that it’s still good, but not as much as it could be.”


“Seeing is believing, but when it comes to fake tits, feeling is certainty.”


“Telling your lover about your fantasies is akin to giving them a how-to guide to your orgasm.”


“Your doctor and your lover both know your body intimately, but your lover will always offer an affordable co-pay.”


For the record, a good chunk of these thoughts came to me while I was lounging by the pool. I like to think that these are the musings inspired by the best parts of summer. Whether they take place by the pool or in an air conditioned room, they reflect a great time of year. Between sexy swimsuits and having another excuse to sleep naked, what’s not to love?

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A (Sexy) Personal Story About My Ex-Girlfriend

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Every now and then, I take a moment to get personal on this site by recounting a particular moment in my life. I enjoy sharing those parts of myself. I even find them therapeutic at times. Most of the time, I do that to help make a larger point about a more serious issue or to celebrate a holiday, such as Mother’s Day.

However, this is not one of those times.

Today, I’d like to share a story of a far sexier variety. Don’t drive your heads too deep into the gutter. It’s not one of those stories that will get as graphic as my novels or my sexy short stories. This is just a little tidbit of my life that should help explain why I have such a lurid mind and such eclectic passions.

This particular story involves an ex-girlfriend of mine. Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve bitterness, broken hearts, or revenge. There are enough stories like that on the internet. Instead, I want to share a story that is both uplifting and influential. To date, I think it has heavily influenced my desire to write and share sexy stories.

To understand why this moment is so influential, I need to provide some context. This particular moment occurred during my freshman year of college. I had met my girlfriend online through a comic book message board. We’d been chatting back and forth for over a year before we actually met. When we finally did meet in person, it was the opposite of one of those catfishing stories.

What we had was a beautiful thing. We were very comfortable talking to each other about things that were nerdy or embarrassing to discuss with others. That didn’t just pertain to comics, though. We also talked about sexy stuff. In our defense, were a couple of horny college students. That’s not an excuse. That’s a valid reason. There’s a difference, as I’ve noted before.

It’s that comfort that helped us forge what might have been one of the sexiest parts of our relationship. During the Thanksgiving holiday that year, my girlfriend came over the visit for a few days. As part of the festivities, we both went shopping on Black Friday. That may not sound romantic, but seeing as how we both love shopping on the holidays, it might as well have been a day in Paris.

I took her to one of the big malls in my area. We spent most of the afternoon there, eating lunch and navigating chaotic crowds. The fact she insisted on wearing heels just showed how dedicated she was to sharing the holiday spirit with me. That dedication showed in the last store we visited that day, which happened to be Victoria’s Secret.

Now, if you’re a healthy heterosexual man like me, you tend to have mixed feelings about that store. You love sexy lingerie and the sexy models who wear them, but when you’re single, spending too much time around a Victoria’s Secret can send all the wrong messages. When you’re with your girlfriend, though, it can be the sexiest kinds of fun.

My ex-girlfriend understood this so she didn’t hesitate to lead me inside, putting me in close proximity with all the sexy attire I love describing in my stories. From there, she demonstrated the energy of a kid in a candy factory, browsing some extra intimate apparel that included a nighty and a thong.

It’s worth noting at this point that my ex was abnormally comfortable with this sort of thing. She wasn’t just the kind of girl who didn’t mind talking about sex. She had a pretty dirty mind and an even dirtier mouth. In public and around people, she was very sweet and polite. In private, though, she said things that would make a hardened sailor gasp. That should help make clear why I was so attracted to her.

She knew this too because we spent more time in that Victoria’s Secret store than we did any other store at the mall. We didn’t mind, though. Personally, I wish we could’ve stayed longer. When we did leave, it wasn’t empty-handed. My ex bought a little something that day, as well. It made for a damn productive day, especially for two indebted college students.

The story doesn’t end there, though. In fact, it gets even sexier because early that next morning, my ex decided to put that new lingerie to good use. Just before the sun came up, she snuck over to my bed and slipped out of the pajamas she’d worn, revealing that she was wearing that same sexy nighty and revealing thong we saw in the store. Needless to say, that woke me up in the best possible way.

What happened after that is something I prefer to keep private. I promise it didn’t get too lurid. Remember, I was at my parents’ house and they weren’t going to let us get too reckless. That said, there were some intimate moments that were pretty intense, probably the most intense we shared during our relationship.

That’s as much detail I’m willing to share about that moment, for now. I hope it offers some insight into where some of my kinky musings come from. Out of respect and appreciation for that moment, I won’t share anything else about my ex-girlfriend. I doubt she’ll ever read this, but I still sincerely thank her for the time we had together.

A while back, I found out my ex-girlfriend actually got married. By all accounts, she’s as happy as she’s ever been and I’m happy for her. I think the man she married is lucky to have her. I sincerely hope that I can build something like it with a future lover. Until that day comes, sexy memories like this one will keep inspiring me.

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Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights, romance

How “Mr. And Mrs. X” Provides Hope (And A Template) For Married Superheroes

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If you were to go back 40 years and ask someone to tell a story about epic space battles, death stars, and wookies, chances are you’d get a lot off odd looks and insipid excuses. Some might even laugh in your face, saying such a story could never be told, let alone make over $7.7 billion at the box office. George Lucas is probably laughing at them on top of a bed made of money.

Great stories like “Star Wars” didn’t just prove there were millions to be made from elaborate space operas and quality sci-fi. It helped establish a template for others to follow in telling similar stories. Some have followed it better than others, but the most important thing “Star Wars” was demonstrate that it can be done.

The current state of married superheroes is in a similar situation to what the sci-fi genre was before “Star Wars” came along. Both Marvel and DC Comics have done a lot over the past couple decades to undermine married superheroes, some of which have left major scars for fans and characters alike. Just look up a story called One More Day for proof.

The excuses Marvel and DC have made aren’t very convincing, but they’re not entirely wrong either. Telling stories about married superheroes is challenging. There are only a handful of married superheroes that have stood the test of time. However, even the most iconic superhero couples have been prone to the complications of marriage.

That’s why a series like “Mr. and Mrs. X” is coming along at the best possible time. This series, which spins directly out of the denigrating heartbreak that unfolded in “X-men Gold #30,” may very well provide both the hope and the template for married superheroes moving forward.

The first thing I need to say about “Mr. and Mrs. X #1” is that it’s part of a larger story that began unfolding before the events of “X-men Gold #30.” Kelly Thompson, who wrote “Mr. and Mrs. X,” also wrote a mini-series called “Rogue and Gambit,” which I highly recommend. That story did something important for both fans of superhero romance and of superhero cartoons from 1990s.

In the world of iconic superhero couples, Rogue and Gambit occupy a gray area of sorts. They’re one of those couples that rarely tops any list of notable superhero romances, but they’ve always been closely linked to one another. This is due largely to the chemistry they showed in the “X-men Animated Series” cartoon that defined so many childhoods back in 1990s. I know because I was one of them.

While Rogue and Gambit have always had romantic potential, it was never fully utilized. Neither the cartoon nor the comics ever took it beyond a certain point and not just because Rogue’s life-draining powers hindered their capacity for intimacy. There was just no real effort to evolve their romance beyond flirting and card puns.

Ms. Thompson changed that with “Rogue and Gambit.” This under-developed romance grew more in the span of five issues than it had in over 15 years of comics, cartoons, and failed efforts to get a Gambit movie off the ground. With “Mr. and Mrs. X #1,” Ms. Thompson dares to skip several steps and let this couple take the plunge into superhero marriage.

Considering how even a much more iconic couple in Batman and Catwoman failed to get that far, that’s quite an achievement. However, the way in which “Mr. and Mrs. X #1” portrays the sexy, romantic details of married superheroes is a far greater accomplishment. I would go so far as to say that it sets a new standard for just how appealing married superheroes can be.

One of the most important things “Mr. and Mrs. X #1” does is expand on the events of “X-men Gold #30.” This isn’t just critical for the sake of Rogue and Gambit’s relationship. It helps fix the greatest flaw in that issue. When the marriage of Kitty Pryde and Colossus fell through in a heartbreaking moment, Rogue and Gambit basically stepped in to keep the ending from being a complete tragedy.

The way their impromptu marriage presented in “X-men Gold #30” is both shallow and crude. It’s basically just forced in there, a marriage for the sake of saving a botched wedding. It never even gave the impression that Rogue and Gambit were serious about marrying one another. They just did it on a whim, their wedding having the depth of a drive-through chapel in Las Vegas.

Mr. and Mrs. X #1” fundamentally changes that. It dedicates over half the issue to providing more details of that ceremony, making clear that Rogue and Gambit gave this more thought than the brand of cereal they ate that morning. There was preparation, planning, and even a surprise visit from Mystique, Rogue’s adopted mother.

This goes a long way towards showing that Rogue and Gambit are serious about getting married. Even if you didn’t read Ms. Thompson’s “Rogue and Gambit” series, the first eight pages do enough to show that there’s genuine love between these two. Moreover, they want take that love to the next level.

Even for a romance not built on Disney-style fairy tales, that’s a pretty important detail. There’s a major difference between characters actually wanting their relationship to evolve and just doing it because it makes for a nice event. It’s the same difference between wanting to eat to McDonald’s and having to eat at McDonald’s. It affects the experience.

That shared desire between Rogue and Gambit shows in both the ceremony and the honeymoon. That’s another key component that “Mr. and Mrs. X #1” adds to the template. It doesn’t just stop at the heartfelt wedding ceremony they share with friends and family. It acknowledges and even shows off the sexy tidbits of married life.

Rogue and Gambit don’t just love each other enough to want to get married. They also want to express that love like any other horny couple. It doesn’t have to be a dirty secret or some trivial side-note. It can be part of the story and thanks to the wonderful artwork of Oscar Bazaldua, it’s a spectacle to behold.

We get to see these two in expensive wedding attire and their birthday suit. There are moments of genuine affection. There are moments of playfulness. There are also moments where they address more serious issues, such as Rogue not being able to touch without the aid of a device that inhibits her powers. All of that is fit into a single issue.

On top of all that, “Mr. and Mrs. X #1” still finds time to squeeze in some heroics at the end. It’s not all heart-warming ceremonies and sexy honeymoons. Rogue and Gambit are still X-men. That means they still answer the call to adventure when it comes. That’s just what heroes do. Being married doesn’t have to change that.

That shouldn’t be such a novel concept, but that is a common criticism of married superheroes. Once they get married, their ability to be superheroes is somehow diminished. That’s like saying being a rock star diminishes someone’s ability to enjoy random songs on the radio. It’s a false flaw that Ms. Thompson and Mr. Bazaldua go out of their way to subvert.

The nature of the conflict that interrupts Rogue and Gambit’s sexy time is somewhat underdeveloped. It involves aliens and space battles, which is basically a typical Tuesday for the X-men. There’s not much in terms of refinement, but that’s less a flaw and more a logistical limitation.

Mr. and Mrs. X #1” is the first issue of a series, which means there will be other opportunities to expand that story. Rogue and Gambit’s life as married superheroes isn’t ending. It’s just beginning. They’re still going to be heroes. They’re still going to fight aliens in between hot romps between the sheets. Married life doesn’t have to be boring. What a concept, right?

I’m not being coy. That’s the ultimate takeaway from this comic. Two well-known, well-developed characters can get married, share some loving moments, get sexy, and still be superheroes. Being married doesn’t have to supercede their heroics. It can complement it as well.

It’s a lesson that other superhero couples, be they iconic or based on a random hook-up, would be wise to learn. Even powerful heroes like Superman are only as compelling as the relationships and interpersonal dynamics that highlight who they are. In the same way teamwork makes the Avengers and the Justice League strong, marriage can make a superhero couple strong.

That really shouldn’t be such a radical notion, but Ms. Thompson and Mr. Bazaldua do plenty to remind us why it shouldn’t be. “Mr. and Mrs. X #1” sets a bold tone for Rogue and Gambit. It doesn’t stop at a beautiful wedding or a sexy honeymoon. The heroics continue. It just takes a different tone.

The ending of the issue, which I won’t spoil, even sets up some new drama between the happy newlyweds. It’s not the kind that’ll instigate another frustrating love triangle, but it does hint at a conflict that wouldn’t be much of a conflict if Rogue and Gambit weren’t married. Rather than limit their story, it expands it.

Mr. and Mrs. X #1” does so much in the span of a single issue that it would take me all day to list them all. It’s not a perfect issue. If I had to score it, I would give it a 9 out of 10, just because it had piggy-back on the heartbreak in “X-men Gold #30.” The most important achievement, though, is the precedent it sets. Married superheroes can be sweet, sexy, and fun and this is how you do it.

Like a marriage in a real world, relationships evolve. Getting married is not an endpoint. It’s another step in the dramatic, yet sexy narrative that is romance. Superheroes are fully capable of taking that step without turning into a bad sitcom. “Mr. and Mrs. X #1” shows that this step is worth taking. Hopefully, other couples follow and build on this sexy new template.

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Filed under comic book reviews, Comic Books, Jack Fisher, Superheroes, sex in media, X-men

The Other Orgasm Gap (Involving Men) And Why We Should Confront It

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There are many disagreements about gender these days, but when it comes to orgasms, most reasonable people are on the same page. In general, regardless of politics or genital configuration, we’re in favor of them. We support efforts to experience more for ourselves and for our partners. In matters of sex, it’s one of the few unifying issues.

Even if most people agree that orgasms are awesome, there are still some sources of tension. I’ve already touched on the current status of the orgasm gap, as it pertains to women. That is still an unresolved issue and the current status of gender relations can only improve if that gap is reduced or eliminated.

However, there is another orgasm gap that is rarely touched on, but inescapably linked to the current pleasure parity. This one pertains to men and, unlike the female orgasm gap, is shackled by hard biological limits. Any man, myself included, knows those limits all too well.

It’s no secret, but it might as well be one because it’s rarely talked about. Without getting too graphic, I’ll just say that the female orgasm is a symphony whereas the male orgasm is like a kazoo. It’s a one-note instrument that is simple, basic, and blunt. You can still make music with it, but the range is limited.

That’s because men have something called a refractory period. It’s basically the cool-down period that men experience after orgasm. From a biological standpoint, it’s the part of sex where the brain and genitals tell one another that the job is done and it’s time to rest. That process involves releasing all sorts of hormones and chemicals that are responsible for men getting sleepy after sex.

It’s the reason why men have a difficult time getting aroused again after sex, both physically and mentally. Once a man reaches that peak, it takes a while to get to that level again. It can take as little as 15 minutes to almost an entire day. During that time, though, a man’s ability and desire are significantly hindered.

This inescapable process is also the source of many jokes about premature ejaculation and men who can’t last long in bed. I don’t doubt it’s a factor in the orgasm gap. Whereas it takes a man only two to three minutes to achieve orgasm, it takes a woman an average of 12 minutes to do the same. That is not a trivial gap.

Conversely, women aren’t hindered by a refractory period. Even though it takes women longer to climax, they’re capable of having more orgasms in rapid succession. To give you an idea of just how many more women are capable of, the record for most female orgasms in an hour is 134 whereas the most a man has ever had is 16. Again, that is not a trivial gap.

While men don’t have to look far for tips and tricks that allow men to have multiple orgasms, many of these so-called techniques are just gimmicks. They’re methods for improving stamina and control, which is a great thing to have with any partner. However, it doesn’t change the fundamental biology of refractory periods.

That’s not to say this particular gap is impossible to close. That’s also not to say that there aren’t documented cases of men achieving multiple orgasms. They do exist, but there’s not a lot of research on the topic, especially compared to the amount of research on the female orgasm.

If we’re to close the orgasm gap for everybody, though, this is something that’s worth studying. I would even argue that we can’t solve the orgasm gap with women without confronting this lesser-known gap with men. In essence, that refractory period is the greatest hindrance to true orgasm parity.

Just talking about it only goes so far, though. Unlike the female orgasm gap, the refractory period is rooted in biology rather than psychology. From an evolution standpoint, it makes sense. By achieving orgasm quickly, a man can spend less time impregnating a woman and more time surviving. It was a necessary trait for managing the survival/reproduction dynamic of the human species.

Like many other traits from our pre-modern ancestors, though, these traits are less necessary in the modern era. In fact, they can be a liability. In a world of low infant and maternal mortality, we have more incentive to seek quality over quantity in our lovers. The refractory period, much like our body’s tendency to get fat, is a real hindrance to that effort.

Addressing it is probably not going to be as simple as telling men to do kegel exercises. Men being able to achieve multiple orgasms may require an effort similar to that of developing the female birth control pill. In the same way modern medicine has given women control over their fertility, it may end up doing the same for male orgasms.

How modern medicine would go about that is well-beyond my expertise. However, we already do have some clues as to what goes into reducing the refractory period. Studies has shown that a chemical called prolactin may play a major role.

Specifically, when a man climaxes and goes through a refractory period, levels of prolactin in the body spike. In rare cases of multi-orgasmic men, though, it doesn’t rise in conjunction with an orgasm. Now, that could be only be part of a much more complex process, as is often the case in medicine, but it’s a start.

In the same way some people are already hacking their biology for reasons relating to health and beauty, it may be possible to tweak certain bodily processes to enable men to have the same orgasmic potential as women. It doesn’t even have to extend to modifying genetics. It can just involve tweaking chemical and hormonal processes, something we’ve been doing in medicine for years.

Unfortunately, research on this phenomenon is scant at best. However, given how much money pharmaceutical companies have made treating sexual dysfunction, I believe the incentives are there. It may take a long time, but given the progress medicine has made on male contraception lately, I think the infrastructure is in place and so is the market.

It’s hard to predict what form modern medicine will take in treating any condition, be it the limits of the male orgasm or the current orgasm gap with women. However, I am confident in saying that any advance that puts everyone on the same level of orgasmic potential will be a game-changer of the sexiest kind.

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Filed under gender issues, Marriage and Relationships, sex in media, sex in society, sexuality

How The Idea Of “Toxic Fandom” Is Fundamentally Flawed

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The internet is a vast, wonderful place full of mesmerizing gifs, amazing stories, and the collective knowledge of our entire species. I would argue that the internet is one of humanity’s most important tools since the invention of fire. I strongly believe that is has done more good any other tool we’ve created.

I have a feeling that this rosy view of the internet is a minority opinion. These days, all the good the internet does tends to get lost in the stories that highlight its many dangers. I don’t deny that there are dangers there. The internet does have some dark places where hate, harassment, and outright depravity are on full display.

More and more, it seems, the internet is becoming an enabler of a new manifestation of popular culture. It’s called “toxic fandom” and it relies on the greatest strengths of the internet to bring out the absolute worst in people. It didn’t start with the heated fan reaction of “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” but it certainly made it relevant.

Before I go any further, I want to make one thing clear. There are assholes on the internet. There are also assholes in real life. The internet doesn’t make them that way. It just gives them a platform to be an asshole on a larger scale. That’s an unfortunate side-effect of the internet, but one that tends to obscure a larger narrative.

That’s because, much like inane terms such as “toxic masculinity,” the idea of toxic fandom relies on a series of assumptions that only ever have a sliver of truth behind them. It builds around this idea of there’s this grand, over-arching effort by immature, angry young men who secretly wish they could sexually harass women with impunity. It’s not quite on the level of an Alex Jones type conspiracy, but it’s close.

There have always been overly-passionate fans. It existed long before the internet and would still exist if the internet disappeared tomorrow. “Toxic fandom,” and there’s a reason I’m putting it in quotes, is something very different.

This doesn’t involve obsession with a particular celebrity. It involves a particular type of media like a movie, a TV show, or a video game. In some respects, this sort of fandom is a byproduct of overwhelming success. When something like “Star Wars” or “Star Trek” comes along, it resonates with an audience on a profound level. That sort of impact can last a lifetime.

I can attest to the power of that impact through my love of comic books. I’ve even cited a few that I find deeply moving, both in good ways and in not-so-good ways. Most everybody has had an experience like that at some point in their life, whether it’s their reaction to seeing “Titanic” for the first time or the feeling they get after they binge-watch “Breaking Bad.”

The toxic part usually comes when the media they’ve come to love manifests in a way that’s not just disappointing. It undermines those powerful feelings they’ve come to associate with that media. The results can be very distressing and until recently, the only way to express that distress was to sulk quietly in a darkened room.

Then, the internet comes along and suddenly, fans have a way to voice their feelings, for better and for worse. They can even connect with fans who feel like they do so that they don’t feel alone. The human tendency to form groups is one of the most fundamental acts anyone can do as a member of a highly social species.

Now, there’s nothing inherently “toxic” about that behavior. It has only made the news because the passions/vitriol of fans is more visible, thanks to the internet. Just browse any comments section of any movie or show on IMDB. Chances are you’ll find a few people who claim that this thing they once loved has been ruined and will use every possible medium to voice their displeasure.

This is where the “toxic” aspects of fandom start to have real-world consequences. Most recently, Kelly Marie Tran became the face of those victimized by toxic fandoms. After her portrayal of Rose Tico in “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” she became the most polarizing figure in the history of Star Wars since Jar Jar Binks.

The story surrounding Ms. Tran’s harassment, which was objectively horrible, became vindication for those who believed that the Star Wars fanbase had become a mess of angry, hate-filled fanboys. They didn’t like that something they loved was changing and becoming more diverse. As such, their criticisms don’t matter. They may as well be wounded storm troopers in a room full of angry wookies.

The problem with this assumption is the same problem we get when someone writes off facts as fake news or diversity efforts as a neo-Marxist conspiracy. It’s a simple, convenient excuse to ignore possible flaws and justify personal assumptions. It also conflates the inescapable truth that assholes exist in the world and there’s nothing we can do about it.

None of this is to imply that harassment is justified or that fans can be exceedingly unreasonable. By the same token, this doesn’t imply that studios don’t deserve criticism when they attempt to revamp a beloved franchise in a way that does not keep with the spirit of the original. It’s only when criticism gets lost in the outrage that the “toxic” behaviors become more prominent.

It’s within that outrage, though, where the true flaws in the “toxic fanbase” narrative really break down. To a large extent, the “toxicity” that many complain about aren’t a product of unhealthy attitudes. They’re a manifestation of an inherent flaw in the relationship between fans and those who produce the iconic media they love.

To illustrate that flaw, think back to a recent controversy involving a “toxic fanbase.” Before the reaction “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” became the poster child for this issue, the all-female “Ghostbusters” remake was the most prominent example. It earned a lot of hatred for reasons that I’d rather not scrutinize.

With that hatred in mind, imagine a long-time Ghostbusters fan seeking to express their dismay. They decide to write a kind, detailed, and thoughtful letter to the studio, the director, and anyone else involved detailing their dismay and their criticisms. They may even cite specific examples on what they felt was wrong with the movie.

Chances are this sort of thoughtful, well-worded message would get deleted, ignored, or just plain lost in the digital landscape. Even if the head of Sony studios read it and agreed with every point made, they wouldn’t respond. They wouldn’t do anything ot change it. That would just be too inconvenient and it would look bad publicly.

From the perspective of the fan writing the letter, though, it sends the message that their sentiment doesn’t matter. Their passion for the media doesn’t matter. They might as well not even exist in the eyes of the producers. The only way for them to even acknowledge their existance is to be louder, angrier, and even a little meaner. Even if the reponse is negative, it at least acknowledges their existence.

It’s not the same as trolling. Trolls just want upset people for the fun of it. Fans voicing their displeasure are more sincere in the sense that they believe they’re protecting something they love. Whether or not that’s misguided is debatable. Some, namely those who harass and make threats, are more misguided than others. However, they only ever make up a very small percentage of fans.

In the end, that’s the most important perspective to have when it comes to fandom. Those who are the loudest tend to be the most obnoxious, but they’re loud because they feel like they have to be. The internet just gives them a way to be heard, which is something most fans haven’t had before.

That’s still not an excuse for being an asshole, but it’s also not an excuse for using those same assholes to call an entire fanbase toxic. It overlooks and undermines the genuine and sincere love people have of these cultural icons. As as a result, when someone feels like their love is being ignored, that’s when toxic hate often finds a way to fill that void.

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Filed under Celebrities and Celebrity Culture, Current Events, human nature, media issues, movies, political correctness, Star Wars

Biotechnology And The Future Of Gender

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With each passing year, it seems gender-driven conflicts are becoming more and more heated and less and less rational. Every time I bring them up, which is distressingly often, I feel like I have to walk through a minefield while juggling chainsaws. I know it doesn’t take much to start a controversy these days and I’d rather not add fuel to that fire.

The current state of gender conflict is pretty intense. I expect it to get worse before it gets better, but I don’t want to dwell on that too much for the moment. Instead, I’d like to do what I often do when I discuss emerging technology and contemplate the future. Moreover, I want to focus on the potential for a better future between the genders.

Yes, I realize the situation is pretty hectic now. I also don’t deny that trends in feminism and the associated backlash make it difficult to be optimistic. I’m still going to try because I believe we’re getting close to a point where the barriers that hinder a truly egalitarian society will eventually fall. It’s just a matter of developing the right tools.

Chief among those tools are those emerging in the field of biotechnology. It’s a subject I’ve highlighted before, primarily in terms of its potential to treat disease and provide better contraception. Those kinds of advances are just stepping stones, though. The true potential of biotechnology goes much further.

With respect to gender, I think most won’t deny that there’s room for improvement in terms of the current dynamic. Whether you’re a man, woman, or something in between, most people don’t have to think too hard to surmise imperfections in the current system. I’ve mentioned a few, but they’re worth scrutinizing.

If you’re a woman, those imperfections take a fairly direct toll and not just in terms of being the gender that bears children. Beyond the burdens that facet of womanhood has incurred historical, there are still some fairly substantial gaps between women and men today. Regardless of whether or not you’re a feminist, the data is pretty clear. Women are not on a level playing field with men.

If you’re a man, that’s just as true. Men may not bear children, but they also bear plenty of burdens. They are expected to fight in bloody wars, making up 97 percent of all war deaths. They work harder, more dangerous jobs that disproportionately kill them. They’re also expected to be okay with having their genitals mutilated as babies. By those metrics, men are not on a level playing field, either.

Things get even more unequal when you put transgender issues into the mix and I’m not just talking about which bathrooms they have to use. Transgender individuals face a unique brand of issues, ranging from housing discrimination to healthcare access. Regardless of how you feel about transgender issues, and some question whether it’s even real, these people are struggling under the current dynamic.

It’s a dynamic that, for most of human history, has been heavily influenced by the limits of biology. Like it or not, we’re very much at the mercy of what evolution has wrought. Even if you’re among the crowd who thinks gender is entirely socially constructed, it’s impossible to get around hard biology, at least for now.

The hard data is fairly clear. Human beings are sexually dimorphic, which means there are intrinsic physical differences between men and women. Since one gender bears children while the other doesn’t, that kind of has to be the case. Considering how well our species has thrived over the past several thousand years, you could make the case that these dynamics have worked fairly well.

However, there’s still room for improvement. In the tradition of the Doug Stanhope principle, it’s worth asking a simple question about our current gender situation. If the current dynamic didn’t exist, would you invent it that way? If you were working from scratch, would you create a species in which half the population had to bear children for nine months while the other half had part of their genitals hanging outside their bodies?

I’m not saying the human body, in its current form, isn’t a beautiful work of nature, but there’s no denying its flaws. As long as those flaws remain in place, the amount of progress we can make towards a truly egalitarian society will be limited. With the emergence of biotechnology, though, there may come a time when we may not be subject to those constraints.

When you get right down to the differences in muscle mass and endurance, much of it is driven by genetics. There’s only so much we can do with hormones and supplements, as female body builders have shown, before genetics comes into play. We’re only just starting to hack some of those genes, but there’s still room for refinement.

That refinement will come as the technology matures, just as we’ve seen with refinements to in vitro fertilization and LASIK eye surgery. It won’t happen all at once, but there may come a point when we have a sufficient understanding of the human genome and how to change it at the genetic level with tools like CRISPR.

Once we have that knowledge, then there’s no reason why we couldn’t modify individual genomes to a point where men and women are completely equal in terms of strength, stamina, and overall physicality. In that situation, there’s no reason why a woman couldn’t carry out the same physically demanding tasks as men.

For the mental side, though, that may end up being trickier. There’s still a lot we don’t know about the brain in general, let alone the innate differences between men and women. Most current research seems to suggest there are some differences, but the extent of those differences aren’t really clear. There’s evidence that there could be even more differences in the brains of transgender individuals.

Even if those differences are biologically innate, they can still be manipulated with the right tool. Some of those tools are already in development in the form of brain implants, such as those being developed by Neuralink. Whether it’s problem solving or emotional intelligence, there’s no reason why any gender-based difference can’t be resolved with a properly-calibrated implant.

Put all these advances together and the future of gender may render our current conflicts obsolete. I believe that if it is the goal of society to create a truly egalitarian structure for men, women, and everything in between, then the necessary tools to do so will make that possible at some point. The only question is whether or not that will actually be the goal.

I can’t speak for everyone who has ever argued for a certain gender-based issue. Being a man, I don’t deny that my perspectives on gender are limited by my experiences. However, if we’re going by what has worked best from an evolutionary perspective, a species that can effectively cooperate, communicate, and share knowledge has a huge advantage.

Reducing gender disparity at a genetic and physical level has plenty of benefits on paper. Add artificial wombs to the mix, effectively removing the burden of child-rearing from half the population, and suddenly our entire species is on a level playing field. That opens the door to entirely new manifestations of gender, as we know it.

I can’t predict what form that will take. Once we start manipulating our genes and our looks, by default, then the line between what is feminine and what is masculine may blur. While I don’t think it will disappear entirely, I think there will be some adjustments. It may even lead to entirely new gender-driven conflicts in the short term.

In the long run, though, I think the future of gender will arc towards greater equality overall. There may come a time where every individual born has the same physical and mental potential, regardless of their gender. Women will be as physically strong as men. Men will be able to multi-task like women. They may still look distinct, but their abilities will be truly equal.

A society full of those individuals will require an entirely new dynamic, one built around a host of new tools that we’re just starting to develop. It could just as easily go in the opposite direction with various gender gaps widening as a result of those tools. However, I believe that the benefits of equality will win out, albeit for purely pragmatic reasons. A future with that level of equality will likely result in the greatest potential for everyone.

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Why We Should Accept James Gunn’s Apology And Support His Re-Hiring

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In the spirit of honesty and transparency, I’m going to admit something that should surprise no one.

I, Jack Fisher, have said horrible, offensive things in the past. For that, I sincerely apologize.

I’ll give everyone a moment to recoil in shock. Now, I’ll turn off the sarcasm and get serious because this is an issue I’ve already done plenty to belabor. People say offensive things. People write offensive things. I know I have, given some of the sensitive topics I’ve covered.

I’m certainly not alone. These days, it’s hard to go more than a day without reading something horribly offensive on social media. Not all of the offense warrants the same outrage, though. Some comments are just trolling. Some trigger reactions that lead to actual crimes. Not all offensive speech warrants immense outrage is what I’m saying.

That brings me to James Gunn, the man who made movies about a talking raccoon, a talking tree, and the goofy guy from “Parks and Recreation” that went onto make over $1.6 billion at the box office. His star really rose fast after the unexpected success of “Guardians of the Galaxy.” He’s credited with taking the Marvel Cinematic Universe to cosmic heights. He has accomplished a lot in the past four years.

Now, he’s been fired. He’ll have no part in “Guardians of the Galaxy 3.” The circumstances, context, and fallout from this huge turn of events is astonishing, but for all the wrong reasons.

The particulars here are striking. Mr. Gunn was not fired because he committed a serious crime or got embroiled in a disturbing scandal. He got fired because someone who didn’t agree with his political views dug up some old social media posts from 10 years ago that were lewd, offensive, and downright disgusting.

Not surprisingly, Mr. Gunn apologized for it immediately. He didn’t make excuses. He didn’t whine about fake news. He didn’t claim his account was hacked. He took ownership of the things he said and apologized.

Many people who have followed my career know when I started, I viewed myself as a provocateur, making movies and telling jokes that were outrageous and taboo. As I have discussed publicly many times, as I’ve developed as a person, so has my work and my humor.

It’s not to say I’m better, but I am very, very different than I was a few years ago; today I try to root my work in love and connection and less in anger. My days saying something just because it’s shocking and trying to get a reaction are over.

In the past, I have apologized for humor of mine that hurt people. I truly felt sorry and meant every word of my apologies.

For the record, when I made these shocking jokes, I wasn’t living them out. I know this is a weird statement to make, and seems obvious, but, still, here I am, saying it.

Anyway, that’s the completely honest truth: I used to make a lot of offensive jokes. I don’t anymore. I don’t blame my past self for this, but I like myself more and feel like a more full human being and creator today. Love you to you all.

It still wasn’t enough, though. He still got fired and there’s a very good chance that the career he worked so hard for has been damaged beyond repair. It’s all because of horrible things he said 10 years ago. That’s worth emphasizing because the person someone is now and the person they were 10 years ago can be very different.

People grow, develop, and change over the course of their lives. I certainly have. In that time, people will say and do things that they don’t realize will have major consequences 10 years down the line. We can’t even know what kind of person we’ll be a week from now, let alone 10 years.

We’re going to do and say dumb things. That’s just a part of being human. However, now that the internet and social media document these things, our worst moments and most ill-advised decisions are there for all to see. We can no longer trust people to just forget. In Mr. Gunn’s case, someone went out of their way to dig up these horrible comments and that continues a dangerous precedent.

That precedent was already set with Rosanne Barr and this effectively raises the stakes. Now, even when you don’t blame sleep medications and give a sincere apology, you can still lose everything you’ve worked for. All it takes is someone with enough free time, resources, and hatred to do it. For celebrities, these are dangerous and unforgiving times, indeed.

Now, I know it’s hard to feel sympathy for celebrities, who live in big mansions, get preferential treatment wherever they go, and never have to worry about their next mortgage payment. Mr. Gunn is probably going to be okay thanks to the millions he’s already made. At the same time, though, what does undermining his career accomplish?

It doesn’t undo the things he said. It doesn’t undo any of the offense people felt. If anything, it sends a message to aspiring celebrities that anything they say and do will be used against them in the future. Even if that makes some people more careful about what they say online, it doesn’t change the fact that people will say and do dumb things every now and then.

It’s a no-win situation. If you can’t make excuses or offer a sincere apology, then what is the recourse? What was Mr. Gunn’s alternative? Short of going back in time and punching himself in the throat, there was nothing he could’ve done. How is that fair? How is that even logical?

On some levels, I don’t blame Marvel Studios and Disney for cutting ties with Mr. Gunn. They’re a multi-billion dollar media conglomerate that is very sensitive to the value of their brand. They’re also a private entity and not a government so the first amendment does not necessarily apply to them. They can fire whoever they want for whatever reason they want.

Even so, there doesn’t appear to be much effort to accept Mr. Gunn’s apology. While some have expressed understanding, there isn’t much effort in terms of undoing the damage. It’s as though this is the new normal. This is what happens to anyone who dares to let their stupidity end up on the internet. There’s no forgiveness. There are no second chances, either. If you mess up once, you’re finished and your career is over.

Think about the larger implications of that situation. If that’s how we’re going to deal with people who say offensive things, then where’s the real incentive for people to learn from their mistakes? Why would anyone even try to apologize or show regret if the end result is the same?

That’s not to say the situation is hopeless. There is already a Change.org petition to urge Marvel and Disney to rehire Mr. Gunn. As of this writing, it has over 150,000 signatures. Whether that’s enough remains to be seen and the fact that something like that is necessary to accept someone’s apology is still saying a lot.

I already worry that the next time a well-known celebrity says or does something offensive, they won’t even bother with apologizing. Why would they if it’s just going to sink their career or require a petition to keep it going? What kind of excuses will they resort to and how much more damaging will they be?

Accepting apologies aren’t just good values to live by. They’re critical to helping people grow as human beings. I believe Mr. Gunn meant it when he apologized, but I worry that he and other celebrities like him will come to see it as an empty gesture that won’t save their careers.

There are plenty of cases where accepting someone’s apology just isn’t warranted, especially if they have a history of saying and doing terrible things. Mr. Gunn is not such a case. If ever there was a time to set a precedent for accepting someone’s sincere apology, this is it. Even if it’s too late for Mr. Gunn, it’s still a precedent worth setting.

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Filed under Celebrities and Celebrity Culture, censorship, Current Events, human nature, media issues, psychology, superhero movies