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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Easter 2019 Edition

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Easter is one of those holidays that’s a big deal for a few and an afterthought for most. Unless you belong to a certain subset of Christianity, it probably doesn’t register much as a holiday. For me, personally, it has a special place in my heart, but not for religious reasons.

Growing up, my family made it a point to get together every Easter and just share a big dinner that was right up there with Thanksgiving. It was never done for religious reasons, even though a sizable part of my family is religious. It was just a big, fun family gathering full of food, deserts, and even a little Easter Egg hunt for the kids.

As I’ve gotten older, these gatherings have been more difficult as my family has spread out. However, we still find a way to celebrate and I still consider it special. I may not care much for the religious connotations, but I can certainly appreciate the time spent with family and the bunny-shaped chocolates that often go with it.

Easter may never be on the same level as Christmas or Thanksgiving, but it’s still an excuse for a celebration and you can never have too many of those. Whether it’s with family or a case of beer, it’s as fun as you’re willing to make it. This batch of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is my way of getting everyone into the Easter spirit, but without referring to religion or wearing a giant bunny costume. Enjoy!


“What does it say when it takes a lot of violence to make something obscene, but only a little bit of sex?”


“Babies are one of the few things that can be both an accident and a success.”


“Sexy accents are one of the few aphrodisiacs that have no side-effects, can be taken with alcohol, and require no prescription.”


“Good sex is can be freely given, but quality lovemaking must always be earned.”


“It’s very likely that food and oral sex are humanity’s oldest negotiating tools.”


“Whoever tested the first dildo had to have been exceedingly both very horny and very brave.”


“Love one of those unique feelings confuses the brain, overwhelms the genitals, and defies description.”


Whether you celebrate by going to church, searching for Easter Eggs with kids, or cooking a ham dinner, there are so many ways to enjoy this holiday. It may not be the flashiest or sexiest holiday on the calendar, but it has everything necessary to create a good time for friends, family, and lovers alike. As such, I hope everyone has a safe, happy, and sexy Easter.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Joggers Edition

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It wasn’t that long ago that I hated running. Back in high school, it was my least favorite activity in gym and that includes getting hit in the face with a kickball. It didn’t help that I wasn’t very athletic and dealt with mild asthma for a good chunk of my youth. I just had way too many excuses to hate it and I made the most of them.

Then, I actually got serious about my health. As I’ve noted before, I effectively body shamed myself into adopting a healthier lifestyle and in doing so, I developed a genuine fondness for jogging. One of the most relaxing parts of my day is when I go for a nice, long jog around the trails located around my neighborhood. I’ve come up with more than a few sexy stories during such jogs.

I’m also not afraid to go on these runs without my shirt on. I used to be self-conscious about that, but years of consistent exercise has made it so I actually look good without a shirt on. It actually encourages me to keep running and keep pushing myself. Along the way, I’ve met many other avid runners who have a similar mentality. The fact it makes you feel sexy too is also a nice bonus.

Part of being sexy is being able to exert yourself. Jogging and exercise shows just how much you’re willing to exert. Doing it without a shirt or in a sexy sports bra is a nice way of showing just how worth it jogging can be when done right. This week’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts is both an ode and a celebration of the sex appeal that jogging has given me and so many others. Enjoy!


“When you think about it, the gap between wrestling and foreplay is incredibly narrow.”


“When men find female genitalia obscene, yet still seek to insert theirs into it, they’re sending mixed messages.”


“When an orgasm is the goal, the individual wins, but when it’s the bonus, then the entire species wins.”


“Believing in someone else’s ability to satisfy you was probably the first true leap of faith.”


“A friend with benefits is like alcohol minus the hangovers.”


“If it can be used as lubricant, then it can be (and probably has been) used for sex at some point.”


“To some extent, porn stars are superheroes to our genitals in that they inspire them to do more than they otherwise would have.”


I understand that jogging or other kinds of strenuous exercise aren’t going to have much appeal to certain people. I respect that. I was once like that. However, I also don’t deny that looking and feeling sexy requires work. If you’re willing to put in that work, then the benefits will show. Jogging is among the simplest kinds of work. After all, what’s more sexy than building up sweat, grit, and endurance?

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Fresh Flowers Edition

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I know giving roses to a lover is cliché. Even as a self-professed romantic, I often roll my eyes at the idea. I feel like it’s one of those gestures that has become less valuable over the years. These days, just bringing someone flowers feels like the bare minimum. There are far more elaborate things you can do to show your lover how you feel.

That said, I think there’s still a place for such a simple romantic gesture. During this time of year, roses are a great way to mitigate the lingering smell of rock salt and dead grass. Even as a man, I can definitely appreciate that sort of shift. It’s a nice way of getting into the spirit of spring. It also helps create a more inviting world for lovers who have been cooped up all winter.

There’s also something to be said about being around pleasant smells. I’m not going to lie. I’m a man and I sweat a lot. I know the musk of a sweaty man has some form of sex appeal, but there are limits. I tend to exceed those limits whenever I work out so something like fresh roses really helps balance things out. Cliché or not, it has value.

Now that spring is here and flowers are starting to bloom, the time is right to appreciate the value of fresh roses even more. Even if you don’t appreciate the gesture, trust me when I say your lover will appreciate the scent. This round of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is my way of appreciating it as well. Enjoy!


“A dentist is the only profession that makes people hesitant to receive oral sex.”


“Porn has given a generation of aspiring delivery boys unrealistic expectations about their job.”


“If sex is a sin, then shouldn’t people be yelling out to the devil during orgasm?”


“It’s because of our aversion to nudity that we’ve come up with so many erotic gestures that don’t involve our genitals.”


“To some extent, falling in love with someone means wanting them to have more orgasms.”


“In a healthy relationship, masturbation is treated like a regular tune-up to a fancy car.”


“Talking dirty is like an erotic massage for your ears.”


Fresh flowers only come around once a year during spring. However, we can all appreciate the sweet scent they bring every day of every year. Life is tough and rigorous. We’re all going to work up a sweet, both of the sexy and non-sexy kind. Adding some fresh flowers and roses to the mix helps make the ambiance extra romantic in its own special way.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Spring Showers Edition

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As I’m writing this, it’s pouring rain outside. A month ago, that would’ve been a good excuse to be lazy and moody. Rain in the middle of winter is like expired milk when you already have the stomach flu. It doesn’t necessarily cause your miserable mindset, but it certainly compounds them. However, rain in the spring is different.

I’ve always found rain during this time of year to have a unique beauty and not just because it washes the pollen off the trees, much to the benefit of my allergies. There’s actually something sensual about it and I’m far from the first person to notice that. After a cold, barren winter, the rain comes along to fertilize a landscape eager to bloom. You don’t need a dirty imagination to see the sexy connotations.

Rain in spring is like foreplay for summer. It helps gets a world that has been barren, isolated, and lonely for too long in a more intimate mood. Coincidentally, the warmer temperatures and brighter spirits also encourage more people to wear less clothing, which is something an aspiring erotica romance writer can appreciate.

This is the time of year where we can sense warmer and sexier times ahead of us. Rain is just a tease, but a tantalizing one. This latest batch of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts should help add some more overt forms of teasing to complement the rain. Enjoy!


“A honeymoon is the closest most couples will come to living in a real-life porno.”


“The worst blowjob you’ve ever had is still better than the kiss you’ve ever had.”


“To some extent, every romantic gesture is an attempt to convince someone to get naked for you.”


“Intense fighting and intense lovemaking are equally capable of destroying furniture.”


“In some respects, jealousy is anger over stolen orgasms.”


“Your genitals won’t tell you when you’re falling in love, but they will sound the alarm.”


“Finding ways to please your lover was very likely the first use of the scientific method.”


Whether it’s raining or not, winter is on its way out. Better weather is fast approaching. It’s been a long, bitter winter for many of us. We’re ready for weather that doesn’t require dressing in layers. A nice bit of rain to wash away what’s left of the snow is a promising sign that warmer, sexier times are almost upon us.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Spring Break 2019 Edition

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There are a lot of things I miss about college. Being surrounded by people my age, hanging out around campus, and having an exceedingly flexible schedule with which to learn are just a few. However, one part that I miss more than most is spring break.

It was a welcome feeling after a long winter of studying, mid-terms, and living in dorms with lousy heating. Most of the time, I went home and just enjoyed having a week to myself. On a few occasions, I got to meet up with my girlfriend at the time and that was certainly fun.

However, when most people think of spring break, they probably don’t think of something simple. They probably think of the elaborate sexiness that comes with horny college students having too much free time and staying in places with warm, bikini-friendly weather. I’m not going to lie. I’ve thought those things too.

While I was never lucky enough to go on a vacation like that, I certainly appreciate those thoughts. With spring rolling in and colleges everywhere set to give their students a much-needed break, it’s a good time to entertain those thoughts. Consider this batch of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to be the first taste of Spring Break 2019. Enjoy!


“Alcohol and driving accidentally takes life, but alcohol and sex accidentally makes life so it balances out.”


“It takes skill to convince someone to have sex once, but it takes talent to make them want more afterwards.”


“If a Wonderbra is false advertising, then a fancy car is tiny penis tax.”


“Lies may get you sex when it’s on sale, but truth and love is an investment that pays sexier dividends.”


“A strip club is just an expensive form of sight-seeing.”


“A marriage license is akin to a legal claim of someone else’s genitals.”


“When done right, a gangbang can be a team-building exercise.”


Whether you’re in college, overworked, or just sick of cold weather, I hope that got everyone into the spirit of spring break. Warmer weather is just around the corner. The prospect of less clothing and snow is upon us. After a winter like the one we’ve had, I say we’ve all earned a break of the sexiest kind.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: St. Patrick’s Day 2019 Edition

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I’ve never made a big deal of St. Patrick’s Day. That’s not to say I have anything against it. Until I reached legal drinking age, I was totally neutral on it. As far as I know, my family tree does not have any significant Irish heritage. Very few friends or relatives ever made a big deal of it. For them, it was just another excuse to drink and throw a party.

In terms of holidays, it’s as basic as you can get. If there’s a party to be thrown and general merriment to be had, then that’s all the merit you really need. I’ve never needed too many excuses to enjoy a cold beer or hang out at a bar. St. Patrick’s Day just means more people at the bar and more green attire.

I know there are people who take St. Patrick’s Day much more seriously. Between the parades people throw in major cities and the green colored beer, some people take the celebration to a whole new level. Honestly, I completely respect that. Even before I was a drinker, I always respected those who took an excuse to have a party and run with it.

To all those who take full advantage of the festivities of St. Patrick’s Day, I hope you all enjoy yourselves. I’ll certainly be celebrating in my own way. I hope this batch of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts helps get everyone into the spirit. Enjoy!


“Logistically speaking, it doesn’t take too many tweaks to turn a romance movie into a porno.”


“Foreplay is like layers of frosting in that it’s difficult to overdo it and there are many forms it can take.”


“Good sex requires at least as much imagination as it does endurance.”


“A sizable chunk of human endeavors has a basis in men trying to get laid.”


“Making out is to sex what diet soda is to soft drinks.”


“The act of falling in love always involves some sort of reaction by our genitals.”


“When you think about it, fantasy is the oldest, most basic form of porn.”


Once again, I wish everyone a safe, happy, and sexy St. Patrick’s Day. Whether you take it seriously or not, it’s still a holiday and a reason to celebrate. Embrace that spirit and every sip of beer, whiskey, or vodka will taste that much sweeter.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Texts Edition

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It wasn’t that long ago that the idea of sending sexy texts seemed as appealing as sending a sexy telegram. Those not born after the year 2000 have no idea what it was once like, trying to convey sexiness through words alone. The closest most of us ever came was passing dirty notes during class, but that always carried the risk of the wrong person seeing it. I know more than one person who made that mistake.

While sending sexually explicit texts has become more mainstream, so much so that it has set off a moral panic in some parts, the concept is still the same as it always was. People get horny. People seek love. Not everyone is good at face-to-face communication. They can’t talk their way into love or sex like James Bond. Sometimes, it helps to have a filter of sorts and I’m not just talking about auto-correct.

As someone who has above-average writing skills and below-average conversational skills, I can appreciate using text messages to convey sexy sentiments. It helps when you have a chance to read over your words, contemplate better ways of saying it, and presenting them in a way that feels coherent and genuine. I know this works because every major relationship I’ve been in started with text messaging.

However you feel about the impact of text messaging and sexting, there’s no denying that it’s a powerful communication tool. For this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts, I’d like to emphasize the benefits of sexy texting. As someone who has forged actual relationships from it, I feel it’s worth celebrating.


“Tell big lies to get laid is directly correlated to saying weird shit during sex.”


“Telling someone to listen to their heart often means encouraging them to do whatever gets the blood flowing to their genitals.”


“What does it say about our culture when we’re shocked when someone refuses sex and aghast when someone offers it?”


“Sluts are like prostitutes who offer a free trial period.”


“Romance movies treat stalking the same way porn treats spanking.”


“Cooking a good meal for your lover counts as foreplay if they’re hungry.”


“Alcohol won’t make you horny, but it does make you more honest about it.”


Whether we like it or not, texting is going to play a major part in how people express their sexy side. Even if it didn’t exist, people will still long for an intimate connection. While there are costs to consider, there are plenty of rewards, as well. Any tool that can help us forge those connections can only help us in all our romantic and sexual pursuits.

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