Category Archives: Jack Fisher’s Insights

Life Lessons From My Father: Hard Work And Relaxing

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Last month, I helped celebrate Mother’s Day by telling a personal story that revealed just how awesome my mother is. I’m proud of that story. I can also confirm that my mother read it and sent her loving appreciation that same day. She really is that sweet and I’m eternally grateful to have a parent like her.

With Father’s Day being tomorrow, it’s my father’s turn. It’s also yet another excuse to talk about how awesome my parents are and I’m not going to pass that opportunity up. Like my mother, my father is incredible and I owe so much to him. His love and support has helped me become the man I am today.

There are a lot of stories I could tell about my father. I’ve already recounted a few. There are plenty I can tell that help affirm why he’s such an awesome dad. Rather than select one, I’d like to focus on a particular lesson he taught me growing up that I didn’t appreciate until I was an adult. Since I know he reads this site too, I think he’ll agree that it’s a critical lesson that can be difficult for many.

Almost as critical as this.

It has to do with hard work and relaxation. They’re two conflicting forces, but both are critical to surviving in this chaotic world. We need to work hard if we’re going to get ahead and forge the life we want in this world. You could argue that this has become more difficult, but there’s definitely a place for it in every society.

On the other side of that coin is relaxation. That’s something we all need just as much. After all, what’s the point of working so hard if you don’t take any time to enjoy it? Relaxation isn’t just important for a good work/life balance. It’s critical to our health. As it just so happens, my dad knew how to do both.

My father, for much of his life, was a hard worker who didn’t hesitate to get his hands dirty. He didn’t just sit at a desk. He actually went out into the world, working with people and braving the elements. He was also an early riser. He was almost always the first one up in the house. At 5:00 a.m. he was out of bed. By 5:30, he was dressed and ready to leave.

As a kid, I didn’t understand that kind of work ethic. Both my parents worked, but I saw that as just something adults do. Even after I learned about making money, paying taxes, and building a career, I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should have. I’ve only come to appreciate it more as I got older.

My dad had a tough job, but he never came home looking miserable and angry. He did come home exhausted many times, but not to the point where he carried himself like a Dilbert cartoon. He seemed to take genuine pride in his work. It fulfilled him in a way that showed in how he conducted himself. He had a poise and strength to him, which he still carries to this day.

However, it’s how he managed to relax after all that hard work that has resonated with me in recent years. Part of that is due to how uptight and high-strung I was as a teenager. When I got home from school, I didn’t relax as much as I did dread what I might face the next day. If that sounds like an unhealthy attitude, that’s because it is and it caused me plenty of problems.

What I looked like on a good day.

My dad’s attitude was very different. When he got home from work, he didn’t get anxious or uptight about the next day. He just grabbed a bag of peanuts, opened a bottle of beer, and watched a baseball game while sitting on the couch. He watched a lot of other things too, but he always seemed most relaxed while watching baseball.

I often watched with him. I even helped him crack the peanuts. They’re among some of my favorite memories as a kid, watching baseball with my dad and eating peanuts. I didn’t do it quite as often when I was a teenager and I honestly believed that contributed to the misery I endured during those tumultuous times.

My dad understood those issues, much more than I gave him credit for. He often boiled things down to something that seemed too simple. He would tell me to just take it easy, relax, and appreciate things in the here and now, be it a baseball game or a “Simpsons” re-run. Me being the whiny kid I was, I just rolled my eyes at him. Looking back on it, I realize there was more to his advice.

My dad knew how to keep things simple back then. He still knows to this day and I marvel at his ability to streamline things that seem so complicated. To him, relaxation and hard work didn’t have to be mutually exclusive. You can work hard all day and still relax once you got home. It sounds so obvious, but people find ways to mess it up.

Some feel like if they’re not working hard, then they’re doing something wrong

Some feel like if they’re not relaxing, then they must be miserable and broken.

Some feel like if they try to do both, then one undermines the other.

I certainly bought into that, even after I went to college. For a while, I made work the center of everything. If I wasn’t working on something school-related, I was making other projects for myself. Relaxing just meant resting so that I had the energy I needed to do more work. It’s as unhealthy as it sounds and I think both my parents understood that.

I admit it took a long time for my dad’s advice to sink in. With each passing year, I appreciate how skilled he was at balancing hard work with relaxation. He always came off as calm, strong, and balanced. When things got tough, he kept a level head. When everyone else was stressed out, he remained the most composed. He was clear, direct, and concise with every word he said.

Those aren’t just the marks of a great father. They’re traits of a great man, in general. My father set a high bar and if I’m being honest, I still struggle to match it most of the time. I’ve gotten a lot better at balancing work with relaxation over the years, but I feel like I made it much harder than it should’ve been. My dad was there every step of the way, giving me real, usable advice. I just didn’t embrace it.

I might have been a slow learner with respect to work/life balance, but that only helps me appreciate my father even more, especially on Father’s Day. No matter how old I get, he keeps finding ways to be awesome. He never runs out of things to teach me, whether it involves relaxing or how to make the perfect pasta sauce. There’s so much I’ve learned from him and I’m a better man because of it.

Thanks, Dad. Seriously.

I’ll always be grateful for having such an amazing father. I admit I didn’t always make it easy for him, but he never hesitated to love me and support me as any father would. Whether I’m working hard or relaxing on a hot summer day, his influence helps me become the man I strive to be.

To my father and all the other dedicated dads out there, thank you for your love and support. Happy Father’s Day! You’ve worked so hard for your kids. Today, you can take a moment to relax and reflect on just how awesome you are.

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My Advice To The Class Of 2019

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This is a wonderful time of year. It’s not just because the summer heat is rolling in, the pools are opening, and ice cream is even more refreshing. For a select handful of young people, it’s the finish line that once seemed so far. At long last, graduation day has arrived. High school is ending. The last pit stop on your way to adulthood is finally behind you.

I know those in college are just as excited, but I would argue that high school graduation is more meaningful. For many kids in their late teens, it’s the first major milestones of their adult life. Finally, the legally required schooling and the rigid structure surrounding it has been fulfilled. Now, they can finally make their own choices about their future.

It’s exciting, scary, nerve-racking, and overwhelming, even for those who have fond memories of high school. I consider those people lucky. I certainly wasn’t one of them. I’ve gone on record as saying that I hated high school. It seems like the older I get, the more reasons I find to justify that hatred.

Some of that experience was my fault. I was an all-around miserable teenager, for the most part. It’s not just that I’m terrible at standardized tests and endured more than a few awkward moments. For me, the entire high school experience felt like one big personal setback. What I learned didn’t feel useful. The skills I really needed were never offered or emphasized.

I suspect others, including a few about to graduate, feel the same way. They’re probably the most eager to put high school behind them and nobody would blame them. To them, I can only offer reassurance and confidence.

It will get better. I know that sounds like bumper sticker philosophy, but it’s true. Life after high school, however miserable it might have been, does get better. Sometimes, it gets better the second after graduation because everything afterwards feels like an improvement. You still have to put in the effort, but it’s definitely worth doing. I can personally attest to that.

However, I don’t just want to speak to those who hated high school, nor do I want to overlook those who had it far worse than me. To those who thrived, grew, and matured over the course of their formative years, this is for you too. To everyone who navigated this strange and chaotic time of their youth, I’d like to offer my perspective and it can be summed up in one simple statement.

The world is an amazing place and you haven’t experienced a fraction of it.

That’s not a criticism. It’s not meant to undercut everything you’ve learned in during your high school education, either. I tell you this to remind you that you’re still young. You’ve been on this ever-evolving world for less than two decades. Look how much has changed in that brief span of time. Can you begin to imagine how much it’ll change two decades from now?

You’re part of that change. It won’t just happen around you. It’ll happen through you. You’re not just kids anymore. By the letter of the law and by the growth you’ve had to this point, you are young adults. You will have a say in how this change manifests. It may not be as large or as small as you prefer, but you will have an influence. At this critical junction of your lives, that’s worth celebrating.

Now, you’re going to hear all sorts of uplifting and encouraging messages in the coming weeks. You’ll also hear a few that are cynical and jaded. At this very moment, you can find excuses to believe that the world is going to Hell and it’s dragging you along for the ride. You can just as easily find excuses to believe the world is getting better and you’ll be among the beneficiaries.

There’s enough information out there to justify any opinion. I’m not going to tell you which you should embrace, but I will urge you to choose your attitude wisely. If you learn nothing else from the encouragements and platitudes of graduation, I hope you learn this. Your choices matter and so does your attitude. It will depend on how you experience the world moving forward.

Make no mistake. There’s a lot to experience. Whether you’re going to college, pursuing a trade, joining the military, or entering the workforce, you have an vast world before you. That world is going to challenge you. At times, it’s going to hurt. You’re going to feel offended, angry, and lost. It’s unavoidable in a world that’s so chaotic, unfair, and complex.

At the same time, it’s full of excitement, wonder, and mystery. Your understanding of the world right now will change and grow immensely in the coming years. You’ll realize how wrong you were about some things and how right you were about others. In the process, you’ll see just how much more there is to experience.

It’ll change you.

It’ll inspire you.

It’ll excite you.

Every generation likes to believe that theirs is the most important in history. While it may seem self-serving, it’s not entirely wrong. That’s because your generation is here. You’re alive now during these incredible times. You’re about to venture into this amazing world in search of your own experiences. That makes your lives, your choices, and your futures all the more impactful.

There’s only so much anyone can offer in terms of advice that every graduating senior can use. My high school experience was unique, as was all of yours. Even if you forget your ability to pass a standardized test or finish an essay at two in the morning, there are some lessons from high school that are worth carrying forward.

For one, don’t limit your perspective. Never assume you or anyone around you has all the answers. Few things in this world adhere to expectations or ideals. There will always be insights, surprises, and revelations that shatter your pre-conceived notions.

Second, embrace the bigger, scarier world before you and its flaws. Your limited life experiences make everything seem daunting. At times, you’ll want to run and hide from it. I encourage you to be bold and run towards it. With the inescapable bad comes the incredibly good. It’s worth experiencing and it’ll show you who you really are.

Finally, don’t feel like you have to go it alone. In the grand scheme of things, it’s easy to feel small. It’s also easy to feel like you have to chart your own path and relying on others is a crutch. I promise you that notion is false. Other people aren’t a liability. They’re a strength that you can and should channel, wherever your lives take you.

We’re all in this together. Young or old, we all inhabit the same world. We all work, struggle, and connect to find our place in it. I like to think I’ve forged an interesting, but meaningful path in my journey. Yes, there are things I wish I had done differently. No, I don’t agonize over them, nor should you.

All that said, I welcome you, the graduating class of 2019, into this amazing world. Today, you’ve taken the first step in a much larger journey. I can’t promise you much, but I will say this. It’s a journey worth taking.

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A Personal Story About Mother’s Day And My (Awesome) Mom

Mother And Her Son Having Fun On The Beach

For many people, Mother’s Day is only a holiday for greeting card companies and florists. I understand that, to some extent. It can feel contrived, needing a holiday and an assortment of commercial products to celebrate the heroics of motherhood. It’s still worth celebrating, especially when you happen to have an awesome mother like mine.

I’ve gone out of my way to brag about how great my mom is on this site. I don’t just do that because she’s a regular reader. She really is that awesome. She was my first superhero. She brought me into this world, cared for me, nurtured me, and taught me the value of channeling your passions. It’s not an exaggeration to say that her love helped me become the man I am now.

I haven’t always made it easy on her, but she has always gone the extra mile. She always shows me love, even when I’m being difficult. She always tells me what I need to hear, even when I don’t want to hear it. I could be having a terrible day, lashing out at anyone and everyone around me for no reason. My mother would still show me love, no matter what.

I could tell story upon story that demonstrate why my mother is so wonderful, but in the spirit of Mother’s Day, I’d like to share one in particular that I feel gets the point across better than any card or flower. It’s a memory that she knows very well and one I know she also cherishes. In many ways, it reflects how difficult and how meaningful mothers can be.

This particular moment occurred on Mother’s Day years ago. I was still a kid in Elementary School, but I was at an age where I could do more for my mother than just give her a card. We’d made plans a week earlier about how we were going to spend Mother’s Day. I made her many promises. I was going to be the one to take care of her for once.

Then, on that fateful Sunday, I woke up feeling horribly sick. I’m not talking about a headache or one too many bowls of ice cream sick. I was running a 101-degree fever and throwing up. It was bad and on the worst possible day. Instead of me taking care of her on Mother’s Day, she ended up having to go the extra mile again, caring for a sick child.

By any measure, it’s not how a mother wants to spend Mother’s Day. Instead of cards and breakfast in bed, she had to take me to the doctors and clean up after me when I threw up. It could’ve been the worst Mother’s Day either of us had ever experienced. Instead, it ended up being one of the best.

That’s because, on that day, I gained a new appreciation for everything my mother did for me. This was supposed to be her day, but here she was, caring for me as any loving mother would. At no point did she ever show any frustration, anger, or resentment. She still tended to me with unconditional love, never hesitating to smile or do whatever she could to make me feel better.

It says a lot about her and about motherhood, in general. There are times when a mother has to step up, throw away her plans, and focus all her energy on her ailing child. It’s rarely convenient. It can even happen during the times when you most need a reprieve. Between me and my siblings, my mom certainly needed plenty. She still never hesitated to do right by her kids.

That fateful Mother’s Day was a disappointment on every level. In time, though, it became an oddly fond memory for both of us. I remember it because my mom was at her best during that day. The holiday didn’t matter. Caring for me when I was sick became her top priority and she did it as well as any grateful son could ask.

Even when she brings it up, she often smiles at the memory. I think she understands why that Mother’s Day stands out among the many that came before it. Instead of a celebration, she got a chance to vindicate the value of loving moms and she did so masterfully. She has every right to be proud of how she handled that day and I’m sure she is, even after all these years.

I don’t remember how long it took me to recover from whatever illness I had that day. What I do remember, though, is how important Mother’s Day became in the years that followed. Before, it had been a formality, of sorts. After that, I felt like I had to go the extra mile as well to show my mother how much I loved her and how much I appreciated her.

This year is no different. She knows I have plans to make this Mother’s Day as special as it should be. She also knows that I’ll always treasure that fateful Mother’s Day from years ago when everything went so wrong, but ultimately revealed just how much lover a mother can give to her child. It’s a beautiful thing and something for which I’m eternally grateful.

I hope this personal story inspires others out there to show their moms some extra love tomorrow. To my own mother, who I hope reads this at some point, you deserve all the love a son can give and then some.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Thank you for being the best mom a guy like me can hope for.

To all you other mother’s out there, thank you for filling this world with your love.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Happy April Fools Day (And A Warning)

Yes, it’s April Fool’s Day.

No, that’s not a holiday.

No, I didn’t write a sexy short story about it.

I don’t take this day seriously, but I know a number of people do. Some do it better than most. I even recounted one such story. Sadly, those stories aren’t as common as I wished.

Instead, April Fool’s Day has become one of those days where the news is even less trustworthy than usual and the dumbest crap goes viral for the stupidest possible reasons. It’s a crazy excuse for a non-holiday, is what I’m saying.

I’m still going to try and treat it like a serious day. I’ve still got stuff to write and sexy stories to tell. That said, I urge everyone to exercise extra caution on a day like today. Between the news having little credibility these days and too many people eager for a cheap laugh, there won’t be any shortage of jokes and pranks.

Now, with the exception of a new “Rick and Morty” episode, there’s not much that can make this day anything other than a bad joke. Please keep that in mind and be a little more vigilant about what you take seriously today.

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My Wedding Speech: Love, Marriage, And Hope

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The following is a little speech I prepared for the wedding I’m set to attend later today. As I announced yesterday, I’m currently out of town to attend a wedding involving a close family member of mine. I’m not the one that’s getting married, but being the romantic I am, I have a strong appreciation for weddings.

There is sure to be plenty of joy to be had on all sides. There will be plenty of speeches, toasts, and tears. I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to say anything, given the size of the crowd. However, I’ve never been good at giving big speeches anyways. My strength has always been the written word.

With that in mind, I’d like to share a little speech that I wrote for this momentous occasion. Even if I don’t get a chance to say it, I hope to forward it to friends, family, and loved ones so they can share in the sentiment during and after the ceremony. Also, if you or someone you know is getting married and need something romantic to say, please feel free to use this.

What can we say about love that hasn’t been demonstrated, expressed, or put into every other pop song in history?

What can we possibly do, by ourselves and with each other, to demonstrate the power of this feeling?

On this joyous day, I think we can skip those questions because what we’re experiencing right now is the most complete answer we’re ever going to get. Here, in this moment, we are feeling those magical, intangible things that unite us all, but defy description.

Take a moment, every one of you, to appreciate this feeling. To the bride and groom, take an extra moment or several. Can you sense it? Can you grasp it, if only in though? It doesn’t have to be tangible. It doesn’t even have to be complete. All that matters is that it’s there.

Take another moment, if you can, to understand how powerful a feeling it takes to bring us together. What other emotion can inspire an event like this? Friends, family, and loved ones from all over are here to share in this experience. Some say love is magical. I say magic has nothing on love’s ability to bring us all together.

To the bride and groom, whose love brought us here, you’ve achieved something that few can hope to grasp. What brought you to this point wasn’t just a passing feeling. A simple passion may inspire a kiss or a smile, but it takes something much greater to create something like this.

Your love is something special. It’s not just one particular feeling at one particular moment in time. It is a process and an evolution. Like gravity or the changing of the seasons, love has been the catalyst through which you’ve weaved your lives together. The hopes of the past are now the promises of the future. The joy you feel now is the foundation for greater joy in the future.

When we truly love someone, we don’t just love the person before us. Their body, their smile, and the things they do for us are merely the surface of something much deeper.

To love someone is to love who they’re trying to be.

To love someone is to love who you’re trying to be, as well.

To feel that love and know it is a moment worth capturing. For you to share that moment with us, giving us a chance to see and marvel at what you’ve achieved together, is a true wonder.

Having witnessed your love and celebrated your new life together, I think we can all say without reservation that love is real. We need ask no more questions. We need not contemplate any more factors. Seeing you together and sharing in the moment is all we need to know the truth.

From this day forward, through every challenge and triumph, we wish you all the love and happiness that this feeling can bring. From here on out, let love be your guide, your bond, and your greatest strength.

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About To Get On A Plane For A Wedding (Not Mine)

To all those who loyally and regularly follow this site, I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any daily sexy musings, sexy short stories, or long rants about absurd social media trends. However, I have a good reason for it.

In a just bit, I’ll be getting on a plane to head up north for a wedding. It’s not mine. Trust me, I would’ve written a lot more about it if it were. A close family member of mine is getting married and I’ve got relatives coming in from all over to join the party. It promises to be a eventful, joyous affair. That means my ability to write the sexy stuff that makes this site move will be limited.

Don’t worry, though. Weddings and elaborate family affairs have a keen way of inspiring me. I promise I’ll try to make use of that inspiration at some point. For now, I’m just going to download some comics, kick back, and enjoy my flight. Rest assured, the sexy and awesome content will resume in due time.

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Imagining My Perfect Valentine’s Day

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A while back, I imagined what my perfect Christmas would be if I had unlimited resources. Since Christmas is my favorite holiday, it was not too difficult to imagine. When you love a certain occasion, it’s easy to let your imagination run wild. For Valentine’s Day, though, it’s a bit trickier.

At the moment, I’m single. I haven’t been in a serious relationship for quite some time. My reasons for that are many, but I’d rather not focus on that for the moment. Instead, I’d like to push my imagination once more, while also mixing in my fondness for romance, to contemplate the perfect Valentine’s Day.

To do so requires that I be in a relationship, so for this scenario to work, I’m going to use a similar set of rules that I used for Christmas. Once again, that means money is no object. Either I’ve won the lottery or one of my novels became a best seller. Whatever the case, I’m unbound by financial constraints and I have whatever resources I desire, be they tangible assets or logistical know-how.

In addition to those resources, I’ll operate under the assumption that I’m with someone I’m deeply in love with. It doesn’t matter whether we’re married or not. At the very least, we already live together and we’ve a couple long enough to know that our love is serious. It’s not a fling or one of those brief relationships that isn’t supposed to last too long. This is the real deal.

With those parameters in place, here’s how I envision my perfect Valentine’s Day playing out with my lover. Please note that I’ll leave some details ambiguous so that things are flexible between me and my lover. The goal is still the same, though. I want me and my lover to have the greatest Valentine’s Day possible and this is just one way of going about that.

It begins a full month before Valentine’s Day. At some point in mid-January, I ask my love to pick a tropical locale. It doesn’t matter where it is, so long as it has a beach, warm weather, and plenty of places for us to be romantic. Whether it’s the Bahamas, South America, Mexico, or Southeast Asia, I leave it entirely up to her.

Once she makes her choice, I spend the rest of the month making appropriate plans. First, I find the fanciest, most luxurious hotel there is. I then reserve the most expensive suite there is. If necessary, I’ll buy out an entire floor. On top of that, I’ll request that the staff be ready to prepare any of my love’s favorite meals, whether it’s a fancy steak, exotic seafood, or a microwave pizza.

In addition to the food, I’ll make sure to reserve a private portion of the beach, just for us. It doesn’t have to be the entire beach. It just has to be big enough for us to enjoy some privacy, especially if we feel the need to engage in nude sunbathing, nude swimming, or anything other romantic activities that may require nudity.

After those preparations are made, I plan for me and my love to fly out to our tropical destination the day before Valentine’s Day. I make sure the trip itself is romantic. We travel to the airport in a limousine, complete with champagne and snacks. We then fly out on a private jet. There’s no waiting in long lines or being stuck at an airport. We get in and take off as quickly as possible, so as to maximize our time at the beach.

While on route in the air, we share a pre-prepared meal meant to replicate the first meal we shared on our date. As we dine, we also watch the first movie we ever saw together, whatever it might be. Then, depending on how long the trip is, we make love before taking a nice long nap until we arrive at our destination.

Once we’re there, we depart from the private jet, enter another limo, and make our way to the hotel. If we have time, we make love again in the back while enjoying some more champagne, whichever comes first. Upon arriving at the hotel, we settle into our room, get a nice meal if we’re hungry, and go for a nice long walk together on the beach.

From there, things get less structured. We just relax, explore our surroundings, and rest up for an eventful day tomorrow. Before we got to sleep that night, we make love again and we make sure we’re not disturbed. We then settle into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning is Valentine’s Day. As such, we sleep in as long as we please. If we’re in the mood, we make love again. If not, we simply order breakfast in bed and dine naked together. We then share a nice long shower together, followed by a romantic stroll on the beach. Clothing is entirely optional for the most part and discouraged in most instances.

We spend the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon just lounging together on the private areas we reserved. We relax, go swimming, and make love in whatever way we please. Every distraction is minimized. Ever comfort is provided, be it food or suntan lotion.

After a day on the beach, we return to the hotel where we spend the afternoon getting pampered in a spa. We each take turns getting massages. We spend ample time in a hot tub together. Again, clothing is entirely optional or discouraged. Once we’re sufficiently pampered, we retire to our room where a buffet of our favorite food and deserts await us.

As we dine, we have a mini-marathon of our favorite movies and TV shows. We binge as much as we can, recounting the moments they inspired and the passions they evoked. Along the way, we snuggle as much as possible, making love whenever possible. We try to make use of every hour of the day, right up until midnight.

Finally, in the last hour of Valentine’s Day, I carry my lover back to the bedroom, sit her down, and read her a special poem I wrote just for that day. I make sure it’s the most romantic, heart-felt thing I’ve ever written. I say every word with the utmost passion. Then, once I’m finished, I curl up with her in bed, make love to her one last time, and settle into a peaceful sleep just as the clock strikes midnight.

There you have it. That is my vision for the perfect Valentine’s Day. I know it involved a lot of nudity and lovemaking. I’m not going to apologize for that. This is simply my vision for the greatest day of romance I can conjure for my lover. I only hope that one day I meet someone with which I can share such a romance. Until then, I’m content to keep imagining and hope it inspires plenty of sexy stories.

If you have your own vision for the perfect Valentine’s Day, I’d love to hear it. For everyone else lucky enough to have a lover in their lives, I wish you a happy and sexy Valentine’s Day.

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