The holidays are truly upon us now. We can all stop complaining about malls and stores putting their decorations up too damn early. It’s officially not early anymore. We’re in the heart of the season. It often starts just before Thanksgiving, but now we’re past the before part.
Let’s not overlook the big, ugly turkey in the room, though. This past Thanksgiving, and the holidays in general, are bound to be different this year. You just can’t have normal Thanksgiving festivities during a once-in-a-century global pandemic. It’s both irresponsible and dangerous. That’s why we have to adapt, but doing so doesn’t mean abandoning the holiday spirit.
This past Thanksgiving was very different for me and my family. I’m used to big family gatherings, long tables of tightly packed family members gorging on food, and lots of friendly hugging. That sort of deal just isn’t conducive to things like social distancing. I understand that. I don’t like it, but I understand it.
Were it not for video chatting and Zoom, I might not have seen my family at all this year. For that, I’m thankful. If nothing else, it encourages me to make Thanksgiving extra awesome next year. I encourage others to do the same if we’ve done enough to end this pandemic. With two vaccines in the works, that’s no longer too big an if.
In the meantime, it’s still a great time to get into the holiday spirit. This past Thanksgiving may have been different, but it’s still a reason to celebrate and appreciate what we have, as well as what we’ve overcome. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help you feel thankful, among other things. Enjoy!
“A tactful nymphomaniac is not that different from a functional alcoholic.”
“Men can’t help but be conflicted when a woman recognizes a famous porn star.”
“To some extent, drama is the foreplay before foreplay.”
“The human race would literally not exist without motherfuckers and yet we use that as an insult.”
“Find a lover who will protect you the same way a pervert protects their hard drive.”
“Like it or not, hot moms are likely to raise the most awkward teenagers.”
“Hate sex leaves your body and mind conflicted, even when you do it right.”
If you did it right, you’re still digesting dinner and desert. I sure am.
However, as fun as it is to enjoy food, family, and football on Thanksgiving, Black Friday has become an extension of sorts for the holiday. For some people, it invites even bolder traditions than Thanksgiving. I’ve known people who will immediately camp outside of major stories almost immediately after Thanksgiving dinner.
I’m not one of them. I prefer enjoying Black Friday shopping on Black Friday. I always have. It’s not that I’m a sucker for sales and excessive consumerism. I just genuinely enjoy the Black Friday shopping experience, from the crowds to the holiday decorations to the various festivities.
I know that makes me weird in the eyes of some. I understand that. Black Friday is one of those events that you either love or hate. You love it because it’s the best shopping time of the season. You hate it because it’s the pinnacle of rampant consumerism. I can appreciate both positions. I still enjoy it.
That’s why this year is so difficult. This is the first year where I won’t partake in any Black Friday shopping sprees of any kind. Thanks to a global pandemic and a massive spike in cases over the past few weeks, pretty much any hope of salvaging this event, even in part, is gone.
For some, it’s no great loss. Not being able to go on a shopping spree in crowded stores probably doesn’t mean much to a lot of people. It means a lot to me.
It’s not just for the shopping part. Like many others, I do most of my Christmas shopping online. I finish nearly 90 percent of my holiday shopping before Black Friday. To me, just getting the gifts I want for my family isn’t the point anymore.
It’s the experience I’ve come to appreciate. That experience is what matters to me. It’s an experience that comes partially from my mother’s fondness of shopping.
She has told me on multiple occasions that her favorite activity with me, when I was a baby, was going shopping at the malls. I feel like I inherited that fondness for the experience from her. It’s one I even shared with my ex-girlfriend years ago. Some of our most memorable moments came while shopping on Black Friday.
Now, it’s just not possible to have any of those moments in a year like this.
It’s not surprising, given the current state of affairs, but it’s still disappointing. It’s yet another indicator that 2020 is a year in which we’ve lost so much. Between major movie releases, major sporting events, and beloved celebrities, the losses just keep accumulating. This is just the latest.
I don’t doubt it’ll come back at some point. Depending on how rapidly we recover from this pandemic, I have a feeling people will be eager to make up for lost experiences next year. I know I will.
Until then, I just want to take a moment to appreciate the past experiences I’ve enjoyed with Black Friday shopping. The experience of just going to malls, being around crowds, and taking part in holiday festivities are some of my favorite aspects of this time of year. I won’t let 2020 ruin my holidays, but I intend to appreciate future Black Fridays even more.
Growing up, you probably knew someone who didn’t really come into their own, physically or mentally, until much later in life. It’s hard to notice at the time. More often than not, we don’t identify someone as a late bloomer until years later. By then, the memories of who they were before they bloomed have seriously clashed with who we see before us.
I certainly knew some late bloomers. Back in middle school, I knew this girl in the eighth grade who dressed like a tomboy most of the time and rarely stood out. You wouldn’t mistake her for a boy, but she wasn’t the kind of girl who turned heads. I didn’t get the sense she wanted to.
That changed considerably in the span of two years. By then, she’d developed considerably and yes, I mean that in the exact way you’re thinking. She still dressed like a tomboy, but didn’t exactly hide that she had above-average breasts. She also got taller and developed a more feminine frame. Needless to say, she got more attention than I think she wanted.
She was a classic late bloomer. Some take even longer. I know people who didn’t really bloom until their late 20s, usually because they decided to get in shape or get healthier. The transformations can be quite remarkable, as can the attention they get from those who knew them before they bloomed.
Like an exotic flower, it’s a beautiful thing. Whether it’s by nature or effort, I think late bloomers reflect a unique sex appeal that’s worth celebrating. Keep that in mind when you see someone coming of age. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help in that effort. Take care!
“Phone sex is just an elaborate effort to talk someone into having an orgasm.”
“It’s objectively impossible to be more egotistical than a masturbating narcissist.”
“Depending on the circumstances, being easily distracted can be an advantage and disadvantage during heated lovemaking.”
“There’s no non-sexual way to tell a woman her panties look good on her.”
“Being really charming is for men what breast implants are for women.”
“You’re bound to have mixed feelings if you shake hands with a scientist who studies orgasms.”
“Men who routinely have sex with crazy women are more daring than skydivers and test pilots combined.”
The following is a video from my YouTube channel, Jack’s World. It’s another entry into my ongoing series, Jack’s Comic Gems. In it, I highlight some of the brightest gems of the comic book world. This entry is “Superman Unchained,” a rare blockbuster of a comic that had the highest production values, but still delivered. Enjoy!
It’s been a long year. I don’t think that’s a controversial statement at this point. A year as objectively awful as 2020 has a tendency to drag. It’s still not over, so there’s a distinct possibility that it could get even worse. As scary as that prospect sounds, there are still some things we should still embrace, despite the all-around horrors of 2020.
The fact that we made it to November is an accomplishment in and of itself. Given the events of all the previous months, anything involving health definitely deserves greater emphasis. As it just so happens, the annual Movember events that help raise awareness of men’s health is perfectly in line with that effort.
I know men’s health issues tend to get less attention than others. That doesn’t make them any less important. Men are people too. Men also suffer serious health issues that disproportionately impact them, such as prostate cancer. The Movember foundation helps raise money and awareness for these issues.
In addition to donating money, men also participate by growing a mustache or facial hair. I’ve shared my own personal story with that effort and I can attest to the manliness this brings out in others. I can also attest that there’s some serious sex appeal to manly facial hair. The sexiness of Ron Swanson is proof enough of that.
So, in the spirit of Movember, I dedicate these Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the cause of men’s health. Once you’ve enjoyed the overall sexiness, please consider donating to the Movember foundation. Men’s health, and health in general, has never been more important. It won’t undo how bad this year has been, but it will help set up a better future for men and boys alike.
“An unzipped fly in a man sends a very different message than a short skirt on a woman.”
“Makeup sex was likely the first attempt at conflict resolution.”
“A woman with a backup vibrator knows the benefits and value of being proactive.”
“A date without romance is just a conspiracy to get laid.”
“On some levels, the nature of orgasms make hate sex inherently hypocritical.”
“Taking your date to church is like wearing a bikini in a nudist colony.”
“A tease is just someone who is willing to lie to your face and your genitals.”
Women are attracted to bad boy. Men are attracted to bad girls, although it’s much more understated. It’s a common mantra, but one I think is incomplete. To me, there’s a difference between being a bad boy/bad girl and a rebel. In terms of romance and sex appeal, I think the rebel has the edge. I would even argue that’s the true source of the bad boy/bad girl sex appeal.
A bad boy/bad girl just breaks the rules. They shun authority and deviate from existing social norms. Now, I don’t deny that can have sex appeal for some people. However, just breaking the rules because you don’t like them is hardly sex. A rebel will break rules too, but with more purpose and agency behind it.
I’ve known rebellious men and women. When they break the rules, they have a reason for it and they don’t hide it. They’re not just looking for chaos and trouble. They want to chart their own path. They want to live their own life. That, in my opinion, shows a level of strength and self-awareness that warrants sex appeal. Men and women alike can appreciate it.
It may not do it for you, but it should be easy to understand why so many others are smitten by it. It’s that special kind of sex appeal that I want to acknowledge with this round of my Sexy Sunday thoughts. Enjoy!
“In a healthy relationship, sharing your browser history is both an intimate and informative act.”
“Getting someone a thoughtful gift is the only universally accepted form of foreplay.”
“Confidence will get you laid, but arrogance will get you divorced.”
“Evolutionarily speaking, you have every possible incentive to regularly wash your genitals.”
“A lack of sexual education guarantees an abundance of awkward moments later in life.”
“As a general rule when it comes to lovemaking, don’t be too rough with any body part you’re eager to lick.”
“If life were a video game, then a one-night stand can be either a trap or a bonus level, depending on your score.”
No, I do not care. I still love Halloween all the same. I still say it’s worth celebrating. Even if you can’t go trick-or-treating or attend some spooky Halloween party, it’s a fun holiday for kids and adults alike. You may have to get extra creative this year, but it’s worth making the effort.
The spooky themes, slutty costumes, and excessive junk food gives something for everyone. If you can’t have fun with any of that, then you’re just being difficult. It doesn’t matter how much this year sucks. Don’t let it stop you from having fun.
Even though it was yesterday, find a way to draw out the fun. Have some more candy. Enjoy a nice pumpkin latte. Watch a few more horror movies. Put on your favorite slutty costume again. If you need a little inspiration, here’s my Halloween 2020 edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!
“Kidnapping someone with a bondage fetish is bound to be more awkward for the kidnappers at some point.”
“Can you say you’ve been completely honest with your kids if you won’t tell them how they were conceived?”
“Be a little suspicious of any man who gets an erection at a pet store or zoo.”
“Hard work pays off, but any work that gets you laid is a bonus.”
“Expecting your lover to satisfy you without telling them how is like whining about an election you didn’t vote in.”
“A horny man who mistakes hand sanitizer for lube will still do something that benefits their penis.”
“Insecurity is only ever sexy to those who are willing to exploit it.”
It’s getting to be that time of year again. Sadly, it has nothing to do with Halloween. I have a feeling that the ongoing global pandemic will temper/shatter all Halloween spirits this year. It has more to do with the shifting weather. Fall is already here in my part of the world. If you happen to live in a tropical climate that never gets cold, you probably don’t care. We also envy you. Don’t let that got to your head.
For the rest of us, it’s getting cold. A few nights ago marked the coldest night in my area since February. I had to actually get an extra blanket. I also imagine that for the lovers out there lucky enough to share a bed, it was the first night when you valued one another’s body heat.
It’s an understated, but still very sensual aspect to love. Body heat is one of those things that’s both sexy and pragmatic. On cold nights, like the ones we’re bound to face, we cherish it for some added warmth. If you happen to have a crappy heater, it’s even more valuable. The added sexy stuff that goes with it is just a nice bonus.
It’s sexy and it helps save money. That’s as much a win-win as we’re ever going to get these days. Where I live, it’s already shaping up to be a much worse winter than last year. If I can’t find a lover to keep me warm, I’ll have to stick with some extra blankets and these Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!
“Imagine and appreciate how much trust it takes to let someone else shave your pubic hair.”
“Melodrama is the political debate between your heart and your genitals.”
“Freedom allows us to explore our kinks while repression forces us to make new ones.”
“A big part of loving someone is aligning when and how you get horny.”
“There’s a good chance you’ll be a little uncomfortable with the type and quantity of porn your lover has consumed.”
“Going to church and getting laid is a greater accomplishment than going to a club and getting laid.”
“You can’t protest overpopulation without protesting orgasms to some extent.”
We all waste our money on incredibly stupid things. I don’t care how frugal you are. At some point in you’re life, you’re going to buy something that will ultimately be a waste of time, money, effort, and patience.
Then, there are those select items or services that are worth every penny you spent and then some. They’re a lot less common and understated, but that’s exactly what makes them so valuable.
It’s easy to waste money on something stupid. Browsing Amazon or EBay for any length of time will accomplish that. Buying something that feels completely worth it, even years after the fact, is much harder.
Sometimes, it’s an investment. People who bought stock in Amazon or Google in the early 2000s can attest to that.
Sometimes, it’s personal, like a ring or a piece of artwork. The dollar value, in that case, isn’t as great as the sentimental value.
Sometimes, you buy something that you don’t think is too valuable at the time, but it only grows over time, like your first comic book, video game, or romance novel.
I could list some of my most cherished purchases and tell the story behind them. However, I’d like to highlight just one that, by pretty much every measure, was the best money I ever spent. It wasn’t an investment. It wasn’t cheap, either.
It was elective Lasik Eye Surgery. To date, this is still the greatest thing I ever spent my hard-earned money on.
Now, the story behind this requires a little context. For the first 25 years of my life, I endured some seriously terrible eyesight issues. I found out early on that I had Astigmatism. It gave me blurred vision and terrible headaches. It was not pleasant in the slightest. As a result, I started wearing glasses when I was in third grade.
I never liked it. I didn’t like how my glasses made my look, but I needed them. I couldn’t see squat without them. It only got worse over time, so much so that I could barely see my alarm clock in the morning, even though it was just a few feet away from me. For a while, I wore contacts. However, they were expensive, uncomfortable, and a pain in the ass to maintain.
Naturally, I was open to alternatives. I’d been looking into Lasik Eye Surgery for a while, but I was told I wasn’t a candidate while I was a teenager. I was still growing and my eyes were still getting worse. In addition, the technology at the time was still emerging and still extremely expensive.
It was also not something that insurance covered. If I wanted to ever do this, I’d have to pay for it out of pocket. For someone who left college with plenty of student loan debt, it seemed like a distant dream.
I endured glasses and terrible vision for most of my 20s. Even after I paid down my student loan debt, I continued life with glasses and contacts. My eyesight continued to be an ever-present pain in the ass.
Then, as it just so happened, I had a roommate who had Lasik surgery done. She also had eyesight issues similar to mine. She was the one who referred me to the doctor who ultimately did the surgery.
At the time, I’d saved up approximately $7,500. Some of that was emergency money, but most of it was mine to spend. This surgery would cost me around $6,500 total. Again, insurance wasn’t going to pay for this. I had to foot the entire bill. While I was conflicted for a time, I ultimately decided to take the plunge.
To date, it’s one of the best decisions I ever made.
I won’t say the procedure was easy. In fact, it was downright uncomfortable and the drugs they gave me were a bit too strong. On top of that, I needed two procedures to fully fix my eyes. My vision was just that bad.
However, as soon as I got up from that operating table, it was like a miracle. To this day, I still remember that feeling. When I went into the operating room without my glasses, there was this large warning sign about wearing eye protection while the lasers were operating. I couldn’t see much of it. Most of the letters were blurry.
Then, as soon as I got up, those letters were clear. I could read them. I could see them, the doctor’s face, and the details of the wall. It was like magic. I can’t put into words how amazing it felt. At that moment, it sank in.
I didn’t need glasses anymore.
I could see clearly.
I felt more attractive and confident than I had at any point during my awkward teen years. It also did wonders for my confidence. I wasn’t nearly as self-conscious anymore. I could approach people without feeling like I looked goofy. I could also wear non-prescription sunglasses. That may not seem like much, but trust me. It meant a lot to me.
If I had to pay twice the price for the same result, I’d have paid it gladly. I like to think it ultimately saved money on all the new glasses, contact solution, and doctor checkups over the years. It was both liberating and empowering.
I have great vision now and don’t have to worry about losing my glasses. Not all my purchases can ever be that valuable, but this definitely was. Lasik Eye Surgery remains the greatest money I ever spent. Until I meet the love of my life, I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
If you’re a romantic and you don’t like weddings, then you’re sending mixed messages. I admit that when I was a kid, I didn’t care for weddings that much. In my defense, that was before I developed my fondness for romance, parties, and an open bar.
Now, as I’ve gotten older and come to appreciate all those things, I have a strong appreciation for weddings and the parties they inspire.
The world may feel like a never-ending disaster in a year like this. Joyous moments and events have been few and far between. In that sense, a beautiful wedding is a perfect counterbalance. We celebrate a beautiful moment, a culmination of a beautiful love. I honestly can’t think of a better way to counter the awfulness of this past year.
For those who are delaying their wedding to next year, I completely understand. To those hoping to still have their wedding this year, I say go for it! It’s worth doing. Love is always worth it. To that end, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help motivate you. Enjoy!
“A man who loves tacos should be more inclined to love oral sex.”
“Great sex won’t make you fall in love, but you’ll be more willing to make the effort.”
“Catching your lover masturbating may just mean you’re libidos are out of sync.”
“Beauty will only take you so far if you’re a lazy lover.”
“Hate is dangerous, but hate sex is an accomplishment.”
“Rough sex is the only time when profanity can be instructive.”
“A man bragging about the size of his dick was likely the first case of false advertising.”