Jack Fisher's Official Publishing Blog

August 9, 2018 · 5:30 am

Bringing The X-men Into The MCU: What To Do And What To Avoid

These are exciting times for fans of Marvel and superhero movies. We thought we had reached a high point in 2012 when “The Avengers” came out. Then, we reached an even higher point this year with “Avengers: Infinity War.” Between raising the bar for superhero movies as a whole and generating billions at the box office, it seems impossible that Marvel could ascend any higher.

Well, Marvel Studios treat the impossible the same way the Hulk treats puny gods. They made Ant Man a successful movie franchise. They turned an obscure comic book featuring a talking raccoon into a multi-billion dollar phenomenon. At this point, doing the impossible is just another day at the office for Marvel and their Disney overlords.

In wake of the recent Disney/Fox merger, Kevin Feige and the brain trust at Marvel Studios will have even more tools with which to raise the bar. Even if they’re just running up the score at this point compared to the competition, there’s still plenty of room to grow now that they’ve got the entire mythos of the X-men and the Fantastic Four to work with.

This is already set to happen. Bob Iger himself has already indicated that there are plans to integrate the X-men and Fantastic Four into the MCU. How Marvel Studios will go about this is anyone’s guess and plenty of people have been sharing their guesses. I’ve tried to resist the temptation, but being a lifelong X-men fan and a lover of superhero movies in general, my restraint only goes so far.

However, I don’t want to wildly speculate or push an elaborate fan theory. Again, more than a few people have already done that. Instead, I’d like to do something a bit more generalized. Similar to my other articles on how not to screw up certain movies, I want to provide a guide of sorts.

At the very least, let’s avoid this.

I’m not going to get into specifics. Kevin Feige and a host of other people way smarter than me or anyone else on the internet are perfectly capable of handling those. Being a devout X-men fan, though, I feel like I can offer some basic pointers on what to do and what to avoid in bringing mutants into the MCU.

I think the X-men need that more than the Fantastic Four, at this point. Unlike Marvel’s First Family, the X-men entering the MCU will have far greater implications and not just because the last “Fantastic Four” movie almost killed the franchise. Mutants showing up in the MCU changes everything from what defines a superhero to how the physics of that universe operate.

At the same time, the X-men embody a particular theme, one that was relevant in 1963 when they first appeared, but has become relevant in entirely new ways in the 21st century. The last 18 years of X-men movies have tried to capture those themes, some being more successful than others. For the X-men to work in the MCU, it needs to capture those themes and get the characters right after Hugh Jackman set such a high bar.

Yes, it’s a daunting challenge, but one that Marvel Studios and their Disney overlords are more than equipped to handle. To achieve that success, and all the billions that come with it, here’s what I think they should pursue and what I think they should avoid.

Do: Tie The Events Of “Avengers: Infinity War” To Mutants (But Only Indirectly)

This is already part of the wild speculation surrounding “Avengers: Infinity War.” It would make sense to some degree, having Thanos’ universe-shaking actions lead directly to the creation and introduction of mutants in the MCU. However, I think having a direct link might undercut both the X-men and ultimate resolution of “Avengers 4.”

That’s why it would work better for both franchises if the link was indirect, at most. Part of the appeal of the MCU is that there are connections everywhere, but most of those connections are fairly loose. Sure, Dr. Strange will get a mention in “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” but the movie doesn’t center around setting up another franchise.

Ideally, the X-men would follow the same approach. Perhaps Nick Fury mentions some strange genetic anomalies popping up. Perhaps Bruce Banner or Black Widow mentions rumors of other living weapons, which could be a reference for Weapon X. Let those small hints establish that mutants exist, but save the particulars for an actual X-men movie.

Avoid: Having Mutants Appear Without Explaining Their Absence

This is probably the most daunting challenge for Marvel Studios to date, explaining how mutants exist in the MCU and why they’ve been absent thus far. Most people with an internet connection know why the MCU could never mention the X-men. Their movie rights were owned by another studio.

Just because Disney owns Fox now doesn’t mean that mutants can just suddenly appear. It’s not like magic in “Dr. Strange” or the Asgardians in “Thor.” These forces could operate under the radar, independently, and on a small scale. Mutants, by their very nature, cannot act like that.

The most defining theme of mutants, as they exist in Marvel, is that they’re random. They manifest all over the world in every major human population, regardless of geography, culture, language, or ethnicity. That’s not something that can just be ignored while aliens invade New York or killer robots invade Sokovia.

At the very least, an X-men movie in the MCU needs to establish a valid reason for why they’ve been absent. Moreover, it can’t just be the result of experiments or mad science, which was done in Marvel’s now-defunct Ultimate line comics and is way too similar to the Inhumans, whose TV show failed miserably.

Luckily for Marvel and Disney, there’s already an established way to do this and it came from an underrated cartoon called “X-men Evolution.” In that world, mutants are there, but their existence is kept secret by Charles Xavier. The events of “The Avengers” could give them even more reasons for keeping that secret and the whole movie could be built around mutants finally coming out.

Considering how mutants have often been used to symbolize the struggle of minorities, I think that’s both appropriate and compelling.

Do: Make The First Team Of X-men Young And Idealistic

The early X-men movies were a lot of things. Upbeat wasn’t one of them. The original “X-men” trilogy was very serious, full of brooding and tension, even among the younger characters. That worked for the early 2000s when superhero movies needed to get serious after the “Batman and Robin” fiasco. It won’t work in this current era.

The original X-men were teenagers when they first donned their costumes. They weren’t hardened soldiers like Captain America. They were lovably idealistic in pursuing Charles Xavier’s dream, believing they could be the ones that change the world. Unlike most teenagers armed only with a cell phone and no adult baggage, they have the powers to actually achieve it.

The heroes in “The Avengers” already provided plenty of jaded adult perspectives. The X-men can offer the youthful, idealistic perspective that’s so endearing, but so easy to undermine. That’s how the X-men started in the comics and that’s how they’ll thrive in the MCU.

Avoid: Making Wolverine The Center Of Everything

This is a caveat that’s just as relevant today as it was in the early 2000s when the “X-men” movies first came out. Now, I love Wolverine as much as the next X-men fan, but he is not the center of the X-men’s world. As lovable as Hugh Jackman is, the world of X-men cannot and should not be defined by all things Wolverine.

I would even go so far as to keep Wolverine out of the first X-men movie that takes place in the MCU. Establish the team before bringing him into the picture because it’s inevitable that he’ll command a lot of energy. If anything, Wolverine should get his own solo movie before he meets the X-men. Having held down three movies, it wouldn’t be that much of a stretch.

Wolverine is a great character, but he can’t be the main driving force of the X-men again. He already was with the original “X-men” movies and the MCU doesn’t need to follow that path again. Let Wolverine thrive on his own. Let the X-men thrive on their own. If they can complement one another along the way, then everybody wins.

Do: Highlight What Makes Mutants Different From Other Super-powered Beings

This is something that even the comics don’t do particularly well. Within that world, mutants exist alongside all types of heroes, from gamma-powered hulks to inter-dimensional refugees to Superman rip-offs. However, mutants are still hated and feared for being different.

The reasons for that are many, but poorly fleshed out. Unlike the Inhumans or unlucky teenagers who get bit by a spider, mutants are random. They’re born with their powers and they can’t avoid them. Being a mutant is like being a particular race. You can’t change what you are. That’s exactly what makes mutants both different and disconcerting for the public.

We already saw in “Captain America: Civil War” that the governments of the world are quite anxious about controlling super-powered beings. Add mutants to the mix and the potential for conflict is even greater. The foundation is there. The X-men just have to build on it.

Avoid: Making The Hatred And Mistrust Of Mutants Seem Contrived

This plays directly into my last point, but there’s a reason it’s worth highlighting. Like the comics, the MCU already has plenty of super-powered, super-capable beings that governments and average people rightly fear. There are legitimate reasons for that fear. Most people wouldn’t trust Elon Musk with a suit of armor. Why should they trust Tony Stark?

Fear and hatred of mutants is the primary driving force of conflict in the X-men. It’s also the primary motivator for characters like Magneto. That fear and hatred has to be different than the other logistical concerns that played out in “Captain America: Civil War.”

Dealing with mutants can’t just be about holding them accountable through some international treaty. Mutants are a lot more chaotic because they’re random and not every mutant seeks to be a superhero, which is part of why Charles Xavier formed a school in the first place.

The measures in the MCU, as well as the logic behind them, need to be different. At a time when people being detained is a hot-button issue, the X-men have could be extra relevant.

Do: Establish Minor, But Relevant Links To Other MCU Characters

A big part of the appeal in the MCU is how everything seems connected. Captain America has links to Tony Stark’s father, Howard. Spider-Man has a close link to Iron Man, as well. “Thor: Ragnarok” established some ties with Dr. Strange. “Guardians of the Galaxy” created ties with Thanos that later played out in “Avengers: Infinity War.”

These kinds of links help make the MCU the box office powerhouse that it is and those links should continue in X-men. Again, the foundation is there. Carol Danvers, who is set to appear in “Captain Marvel,” already has close ties to the X-men in the comics. Wolverine even had close ties to Captain America during World War II. Storm also has a documented, but flawed history with Black Panther.

How these links emerge depends heavily on how Marvel Studios decides to bring the X-men into the MCU. If they shake up reality or tweak the timelines, then there will be opportunities to establish these links. If they opt for something less messy, then they can just as easily focus on setting new links for future movies. Either way works, provided it’s done right.

Avoid: Creating Unnecessary Rivalries Or Conflicts

This is something that could very well happen if those connections I mentioned earlier aren’t done particularly well. I know it will be tempting for Marvel Studios to pursue a big “Avengers vs. X-men” event like the one that played out in the comics. Personally, I think that would be a mistake and not just because “Captain America: Civil War” already played that idea out.

Superheroes fighting other superheroes can be compelling, but it’s easy to overdo. It also has a nasty tendency to bring out the worst in all the characters involved. That has happened more than once in the comics, especially recently. Whenever heroes fight each other, nobody really comes off as heroes and that’s not a healthy way to develop quality characters. It just makes them seem petty.

The X-men already have a lengthy list of quality villains beyond Magneto. The original trilogy did a poor job of utilizing them. The MCU has already dealt with a significant villain problems in the past, but has since raised the bar with characters like Thanos and Erik Killmonger. Before the X-men start butting heads with the Avengers, let them clash with the likes of Sinister and Mastermold first.

Do: Let Ryan Reynolds Continue Being Deadpool

Does this really need an explanation? Deadpool is awesome. Ryan Reynolds is lovable, talented, and charismatic. It’s not broke so don’t try to fix it. Just let Deadpool be Deadpool and let the money roll in.

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Filed under Comic Books, Jack Fisher, Superheroes, Deadpool, superhero movies, X-men

Tagged as Avengers, Avengers Infinity War, Black Panther, Captain America, Disney, Disney/Fox, Fox, Hugh Jackman, Iron Man, Kevin Feige, Magneto, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Comics, Original Five X-men, Professor Xavier, shared universe, Storm, superhero genre, superhero movies, Superheroes, Thanos, Thor, Wolverine, X-men, X-men cartoons, X-men comics, X-men Evolution

August 8, 2018 · 4:50 am

“Down On The Floor” A Sexy Short Story

The following is a sexy short story that was inspired by some moving mishaps of a couple I knew. Enjoy!

“To our first place together,” said Sharon Pratcher as she raised her plastic cup.

“To our first place and moving in together,” her boyfriend, Nathan Mason, replied.

The sarcasm in both of their tones was as dry as the Sahara Desert, but understandable. What was supposed to be an important step for their relationship had turned into a logistic nightmare/joke. For the first time in her adult life, Sharon was moving in with a significant other. She’d worked so hard to make sure everything had gone right. So far, everything that could’ve gone wrong had gone wrong.

“So what’s the ETA now?” Nathan asked restlessly.

“According to the latest text,” she said, “about two-and-a-half hours, at least.”

“Was that before or after the pizza guy arrived with the wrong order?”

“Slightly before,” Sharon sighed, “and the guy driving the moving truck said the weather wasn’t helping.”

“In other words, hoping for them to get here by sundown might be too optimistic?”

“Only if we’re lucky, but given our recent streak of luck this far…”

Sharon chose not to finish that thought. It would only add to the frustration. Mark sighed as well and finished his slice of the half-cold pizza that lacked most of the toppings he’d asked for. She’d already had enough, opting to finish her soda before it got too watery. After the events of the past 24 hours, she had to take whatever small victories she could get.

She sure as hell hadn’t expected everything to go so wrong when she agreed to move in with Nathan. When he asked her six months ago, she was genuinely excited. It wasn’t just a significant step for their relationship. It marked an important milestone that she’d once been reluctant to pursue.

It wasn’t that long ago that Sharon had an unflattering reputation when it came to relationships. Her mother and two older sisters, Ellen and Michelle, called her a soft barrier girl. She had good social skills and was more than willing to let someone in to have a relationship with them. At a certain point, though, she put up an emotional barrier that pushed them away.

She’d spent a good chunk of her late teens and early twenties going through relationships with a reckless attitude. Many good, honest men had loved her and she’d loved them back, only to have it end spectacularly when she refused to get serious beyond a certain point. When she got involved with Nathan, she’d committed to going the extra distance with him.

That meant talking seriously about the future, sharing intimate aspects of their lives and dealing with one another’s burdens. She’d taken him to the ER that time he broke his arm in an ill-fated bicycle stunt and he’d fixed her toilet when her old landlord was out of town. It felt like she’d done everything right by him, which made it so much more frustrating when so many things went wrong.

“I’m really sorry, Nathan,” she said, finally breaking silence. “Believe me when I say this is not how I wanted this to go.”

“No need to apologize, babe,” Nathan assured her. “It’s not your fault the moving truck blew a tire out in the middle of the highway. It’s not your fault the pizza guy didn’t know the difference between sausage and olives, either.”

“It still matters because I promised you so much,” said Sharon. “I’ve avoided moving in with my boyfriend for years. I made it a point to put in the extra work, planning everything out so that you could focus on your job transfer.”

“And you did more than any man could ask of his girlfriend,” he told her with a smile, “especially after my ex-boss screwed me over by rescinding the relocation bonus.”

“That’s still no excuse for me trying to penny-pinch on the moving service.”

“You did that so we had money for new furniture and bathroom fixtures. It made total sense at the time.”

“It still came back to bite us,” she sighed, “so did scheduling the cable guy too late in the day, giving the wrong date to the cleaning service, and not asking my in-laws to help with packing. Every time I had a chance to do something that would’ve made things easier, I either didn’t take it or made the wrong call.”

“I didn’t help by working overtime at the new office, either,” he added.

“Stop trying to make me feel better about my screw-ups! This is a big deal for me, moving in with you and building a life together. The fact it’s going so wrong bothers me…a lot.”

She spoke in that terse tone that usually kept Nathan – or anyone else, for that matter – from trying to console her. He still cast her a look of sympathy, even as she set her empty drink aside and hugged her knees in exasperation. She was lucky that she had a boyfriend who didn’t hold a grudge or throw around blame, but that might have been the only luck she had going for her.

Looking around the mostly-empty condominium that was in both their names, Sharon tried to imagine where they would’ve been if everything had gone right. By now, they would’ve had the couch in the living room, the TV hooked up, the master bedroom set up, and new refrigerator installed. Sure, there would probably still be plenty of boxes stacked everywhere, containing the various things they’d packed from their respective apartments. At the very least, it would’ve resembled a new home that they’d build and share together.

When she closed her eyes, she could see it. She even imagined her and Nathan lying on the couch together, exhausted and accomplished. They’d be smiling, knowing they had taken such a pivotal step in their relationship. It bode well for their future, one that might even lead to moments involving wedding bells and children.

“I want this for us, Nathan. I believe our love is that serious,” she imagined herself telling him.

When Sharon opened her eyes, though, she saw none of that. She just saw an empty condominium with no refrigerator, no furniture, and no TV. All their stuff was still in the moving truck that was still broken down on the highway. Everything they brought with them in the car was for Nathan’s office. They ended up having to order pizza for their lunch and with no table, they just sat on the floor of their living room.

With the nearest relative or friend at least fifty miles away, there wasn’t much they could do other than wait. Even if the moving truck got there before sundown, they might not even be able to unload it until the next morning. Either they would have to stay at a motel or sleep in the floor. In any case, it felt like a setback for such an important milestone.

“This isn’t just about us moving in together or building a new life in this town,” Sharon went on, still hugging her knees.

“This is a big deal. I think you’ve made that abundantly clear, Sharon,” Nathan said, unable to finish his pizza.

“It’s still worth belaboring. I’ve had other chances to get serious with men…good chances that would’ve made a lot of sense, if only to share the cost of rent and cable. I never took them, even when I thought I loved the guy. I was one of those girls who’d been so eager to move out of her parents’ house and enjoy some independence that I kept too many people at arm’s length.”

“You didn’t do that with me,” he pointed out.

“That’s because I realized something important…something my parents, sisters, and friends kept telling me, even though I refused to listen.”

Her voice became more strained, frustration giving way to sorrow. She scooted closer to Nate, setting aside the pizza box and pulling him into a light embrace. He returned the gesture without hesitation, slipping those powerful arms of his around her and giving her something to lean on in a distressed state. It further reminded her of how stubborn she’d been for all the wrong reasons.

“There’s a big difference between independence and isolation,” Sharon continued, “and I didn’t even try making the distinction. Sure, that may work for someone who’s a total recluse.”

“But that’s not you,” Nathan surmised, “not by a long shot.”

“In hindsight, it really was that obvious. I’m a very social person. I can handle independence, but I can’t handle isolation. That kept me from daring to love anyone beyond a certain point…until you, that is.”

That earned her a smile from her lover. Sharon could only manage a half-smile in response. She leaned on him a bit more, holding onto his arm as she reflected on the steps she’d taken to get to this point.

“That makes me feel special,” he said.

“That’s because you are special,” Sharon told him. “You almost fell into the same trap as my other boyfriends. When I kept avoiding the topic of moving in or getting serious, you persisted. You showed that you loved me enough to deal with my stubbornness.”

“Even after that, I still had to convince you that moving in was the right thing to do for us,” Nathan added.

“And I still believe that,” Sharon said. “I genuinely believe that our relationship is at that point. That’s a big freakin’ deal for me because it’s uncharted territory. I’ve never let myself get this serious with someone. I don’t think I’ve ever dared to love anyone as much as I love you.”

She’d put more emotion into those words than she intended. She could already feel a lump forming in her throat, partially out of the love she had for Nathan and out of how upset she was that everything had gone so wrong. That didn’t stop him from embracing her, though, demonstrating to her that he loved her just as much.

“I love you too, Sharon. You know that, right?” Nate told her.

“Of course I know,” she replied, “and that’s a big reason why this pisses me off so much. I’m going way outside my comfort zone here, moving in with my boyfriend and starting a life in a new place. I wanted to set the tone for that life by making this move go perfectly and it hasn’t…not by a long shot.”

“I hope you don’t take that as a sign. Just because the move is going horribly wrong doesn’t mean the life we build together will go wrong too.”

“I know that and I’m trying not to make that connection. It just sucks when every decision I’ve made so far goes so wrong.”

“Better now than years down the line when we’re still together, but don’t know how to handle crap like this together,” he said. “The way I see it, dealing with it now helps prepare us for the future.”

“You’re still optimistic about that future? Even after all the things that have gone wrong today?” Sharon asked.

“Of course,” he said confidently. “I’d rather be prepared the tough times instead of obsessing over the good. Besides, it’s not like everything that went wrong today will undercut everything we do tomorrow. We just need to make sure the next decision we make goes right and take it from there.”

It still sounded too optimistic, given their current situation. At the same time, though, the hope and affection in his voice helped sooth the sorrow in her. Still leaning on her lover, Sharon looked up at her boyfriend as she rested her head on his shoulder. In an empty living room on a luckless day that was supposed to be a big step for them, his love for her remained strong and his commitment to their love never waned.

Feeling the breadth of his love after she’d made so many bad decisions wasn’t just comforting. It was overwhelming. Nathan was the kind of man who stuck by his lover, even when things went wrong. Sharon was so used to taking care of herself whenever something went that wrong. The act of sharing the burden with someone, especially someone she loved, gave her even more certainty about building a life with him.

In that moment, empowered by such certainty, an idea came to Sharon that promised to set a different tone for such a frustrating day.

“The next decision,” Sharon said, “I can work with that.”

Without saying another word, she lightly cupped her lover’s chin and turned his face towards her. She then gave him a soft kiss on the lips. It was a simple gesture of love, but one that escalated quickly.

Before Nathan could ask too many questions, she deepened the kiss. In the process, she also took him by the shoulders, pinned him on the floor, and got on top of him. Once he was flat on his back, she broke the kiss and made what she felt was the best choice she could’ve made.

“Make love to me, Nathan,” Sharon said intently.

“Right now?” he asked, surprised and intrigued by her request. “Right here…down on the floor…in our new, empty condo?”

“Yep!” she replied, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Nathan was a thoughtful, charismatic man who didn’t shy away from elaborate challenges. Who else could’ve gotten someone a stubborn woman like her to love him so much? In certain situations, though, he just smiled and let things be simple. This was one of those situations.

“Well, I had been hoping to christen our new place atop a king-sized bed with candles and roses,” he said in a humored tone, “but this works too.”

“And I’m going to make damn sure it works perfectly!” Sharon said in her most seductive voice.

That was a tough promise to make after so much had gone wrong. She still felt confident making it. If anything, she had even more incentive to make everything go right.

With Nathan still pinned under her, Sharon rose into an upright position and took off her shirt. She then reached behind and unclasped her bra, leaning over so that her boobs were right in his face as it fell off. Nathan grinned playfully, rubbing his face between them as he started getting undressed too, unbuttoning his flannel shirt with great urgency.

“Let’s get those pants off,” she whispered into his ear. “They’re already so dusty and wrinkled.”

“That turn you on, babe?” he quipped.

“Only one way to find out!”

With a lecherous grin, Sharon sensually slithered down her lover’s upper body, gazing up at him with her seductive gaze as she reached for his belt buckle. She undid it with ease and just as Nathan removed his flannel shirt, no less. She then pulled the loose-fitting jeans down his legs, along with his boxers.

As soon as he kicked them off, Sharon threw them into corner and went for that strong, robust cock of his. Having just stomached mediocre pizza and cheap soda, she was in the mood for something more appetizing.

“Guess that answers that,” she said playfully, his dick now in both hands. “It is a turn-on!”

“Good to know…real good,” said Nathan, already leaning back on his arms in anticipation.

In a mix of dedicated passion and reckless desire, Sharon went to work giving her boyfriend oral sex. She wasn’t casual about it, either. She positioned herself perfectly, right at his side so that she had an unobstructed view of his endowment. She tapped into the intimate knowledge she had of her lover’s sensual quirks, gripping the base just right and slithering her tongue along over the sensitive tip.

“Oh Sharon…that feel so good!” he moaned.

Encouraged, she stepped up her efforts, taking more of his manhood into her mouth and suckling along the length with escalating intensity. That really got the blood flowing in all the right directions. She felt him get hard inside her mouth, his manly flesh stiffening at a rapid rate.

As she sucked him off, her head bobbing in accord with each motion, he affectionately caressed her head and ran his fingers through her hair. Having not had a chance to shower that morning, his touch felt extra sincere. It both heightened her passions and fueled her own growing arousal.

“Mmm…my love,” she said in between teases. “I want you…want this.”

Nathan responded with more blissful moans, getting very close to full arousal. At the same time, Sharon used her free hand to reach into her pants and fondle her pussy. She could already feel herself getting wet. In her determined state, she achieved a level of arousal that usually took much longer. After the kind of day she’d endured, it felt like a reprieve.

She continued giving him oral sex for a bit longer. Once she sensed they were sufficiently aroused, she ceased her sucking and rose to her knees.

“Are you ready, Nathan?” she asked seductively.

“Hell yeah…in more ways than one,” he replied, his eyes radiating desire.

“Then come. Take me,” Sharon urged.

Offering even more incentive, she undid her pants and sensually slithered out of them, panties and all. Now fully naked, throwing her pants into the same corner as his, Nathan promptly took off the undershirt he’d been wearing and pounced on her like the determined lover she knew.

In an instant, Sharon found herself pinned on the floor in the center of the unfurnished living room, her lover/new roommate on top of her. Her legs were hitched over his shoulders and her wrists pinned to the side. They had so much space to work with in an empty room. Why not take advantage of it before it got cluttered with furniture?

“Comfy, my love?” Nathan said with a manly grin.

“Hell yeah…in more ways than one,” she replied, mirroring his words and tone.

It said something about how good they were together when they repeated one another. Sharon took that as an encouraging sign that their luck was changing, but it could stand to change even more.

With focused intent in his eyes, Nathan shifted his grip from her wrists to her thighs, holding onto them firmly as he guided his dick towards the outer folds of her pussy. Once his flesh was aligned with hers, he moved his hips forward and pushed his rigid manhood into her womanly depths.

“Ooh Nathan!” Sharon squealed with delight.

Her love responded with one of those manly grunts that brought out her kinky side. Still propped on his knees, hovering over her with domineering desire, Nathan began making love to her as only he could.

He quickly established a rhythm, working his hips back and forth, pumping his cock into her tight folds. Hard masculine flesh meshed perfectly with soft feminine depths. His body sought hers and she embraced him fully. Sharon held onto his arms, closing her eyes and soaking in the feeling. It didn’t matter that they were lying on the hard, dirty floor of an empty condo. It was still their home. Making love within it just helped make it official.

“Nathan…you and me…together,” she found herself saying in her deepening daze.

That sentiment seemed to encourage him. He tightened his hold on her thighs, pushed her legs apart even further, and stepped up the space of their sex.

“Together…Sharon…Oh God!” he moaned.

A surge of energy came over them, their bodies rocking harder to the rhythm of their passion. Sharon felt her breasts bounce and her back grind against the floor. It was so messy and raw, but she loved every second of it.

As Nathan intensified his movements, Sharon let go of his arm and put her hands to work. She fondled her breast with one hand – a sight her lover always enjoyed during sex – and used the other to fondle her clitoris. Between her lover’s energy and the affectionate desires fueling it, she found herself on the brink of orgasm.

“Ooh Nathan! I’m almost there! Almost…there!” Sharon panted as the feeling drew closer.

“Your first orgasm…in our new place,” he said to her, “better make it count!”

He delivered on those words by putting a little extra fervor into his movements, pushing rigid member into her innermost depths, stimulating those special areas that were hard to reach. More than any other man she’d dated, Nathan knew how to give her that extra push when she was on the brink. On a day like today, it felt extra satisfying.

“Ohhh Nathan!” she cried out as she achieved climax.

Her cries of euphoria echoed loudly throughout the empty condo, as if to mark every corner as belonging to her and her lover. She squeezed her breast, pressed hard on her clit, and arched her body to the sweet waves of bliss that followed.

It was so intense and unfiltered, a pleasure born from the simplest act that she could share with her lover. There was no need for a fancy bed, bulky furniture, or elaborate setups. They just needed a room, a floor, and a desire to make love to each other. Given all the complications Sharon had encountered lately, it was both refreshing and satisfying.

“Wow! My love…our home,” she said in her orgasmic daze.

“That’s right. This is our home,” Nathan told her.

As if she needed another reminder, he leaned in and kissed her lovingly, allowing the weight of his naked body to fully mesh with hers. Sharon, still immersed in a world of bliss, eagerly kissed back and embraced him with all her love. It epitomized a profound moment born from so much frustration.

While Sharon treasured that moment, she also realized that Nathan’s flesh was still joined with hers. She could feel his rock-hard manhood inside her throbbing depths. Even if she needed that release more than him after all the wrong decisions she’d made, Sharon had every intention of sharing the ecstasy.

“Nw it’s my love’s turn to welcome,” she said as soon as their lips parted.

With another burst of energy from her end, she rolled Nathan over so that he was the one on his back. Having worked up a good sweat while making love to her, it was extra sticky on his naked skin. That might actually work to her advantage for what she had planned.

Now on top of her lover, Sharon straddled his waist, her feet planted firmly by each hip. She then leaned forward, placing both hands on that well-cut chest of his and began riding his cock with the same vigor he’d demonstrated with her.

“Mmm…you like that, babe?” Sharon said with a loving purr.

“Ohhh Sharon!” he moaned. “That feels…so good…so hot and tight.”

“Good!” she said intently. “Because this feeling…is ours! This place…is ours!”

Still drunk on orgasmic pleasure, Sharon rode his cock at a pace that tested her endurance and her dedication. She pushed her limits, working the folds of her pussy along the length of Nathan’s dick with unreserved fervor. The hot smacking sound of her pelvis colliding with his filled the spacious room, the echoes reverberating in all directions. Something about that made it even hotter.

Her gaze remained locked with his, watching his expression contort to the sensations she conjured with their sex. As she rode him, Nathan reached up and fondled her bouncing breasts, adding some extra sensations to supplement her movements. He gazed up at her as though she were an angel and a spectacle. That gave her even more reasons to make him feel divine.

Those efforts paid off quickly. After a good round of intensely focused sex, she sensed Nathan getting closer. She could always tell with the way his grunts deepened and his face tensed. Seeking to share in the feeling with him, she took her hands with his, interlocking their fingers and held on as she guided him towards ecstasy.

“Ohhh Sharon! I…I’m going to…come!” Nathan gasped in anticipation.

“Yes, my love!” she told him lovingly. “I want this for you…for us.”

Sharon finally steadied her movements, leaning back and gyrating her hips with just the right amount of vigor to send her lover to the edge and over it. Just as he’d done with her, she knew all the little tricks that he found extra sexy. It made the resulting peak as powerful as it needed to be.

She watched and smiled as he closed his eyes, squeezed her hands firmly, and let out a deep, manly grunt that echoed through every corner of the condo. As his expression reflected the bliss of his release, Sharon felt his member throb inside her as he released his manly load into her depths. That warm, intimate feeling capped off an experience that did much more than fill them with basic pleasure.

“God, I love you, Sharon,” said Nathan, still panting from the feeling.

“I know. I love you too, Nathan,” she replied, holding his hands over her beating heart.

“Here…on a dirty floor…bare ass naked…I promise we’ll build this new life together.”

“And I want that life,” she told him. “Even after everything that has gone wrong today, I still believe I made the right decision.”

“So do I,” he said.

He cast her a warm smile. She did the same, leaning in and capturing his lips once more. It was a unique moment, one that had been born out unexpected and unfavorable circumstances. Sharon had avoided making such a monumental decision, moving in with a boyfriend and building a life with him. When she finally did make that decision, everything that could’ve gone wrong went wrong.

Even after all that, though, it still felt so right. Being able to make love so passionately after so many mishaps only proved the strength of their relationship. It was almost poetic, claiming their empty new home with an act of intense lovemaking. It hadn’t been how she intended to commemorate such a chaotic day, but it still felt so fitting.

“So,” Nathan said after breaking the kiss, “want to make love in a few more rooms while we wait for the moving truck?”

“I can’t think of a better way to pass the time,” Sharon said playfully. “This time, let’s do it in the dining room. I could use some fresh rug burns!”

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Tagged as adult fiction, adult stories, erotic, erotic fiction, erotic literature, erotic stories, erotic story, erotica, erotica fiction, erotica literature, erotica romance, erotica stories, Jack Fisher, Jack Fisher Blog, Jack Fisher Books, sex, sexy, sexy fiction, sexy literature, sexy mechanic, sexy short stories, Sexy Short Story, short fiction, short stories, short story

August 7, 2018 · 5:24 am

Sex Robots, 3D Printing, And The Future Of The Porn Industry

Most people with a passing knowledge about the history of media know that the porn industry played a significant role in deciding the competition between VHS and Betamax back in the 1970s. Decades later, porn played a similar role in the growth of the internet. It’s not unreasonable to say that the growth of the internet was fueled by porn.

Love it or hate it, the adult entertainment industry is a powerful economic driving force. Every effort to combat or avoid it has failed. Protests and outrage has done little to undercut the billions in revenue it generates every year. Culture, tastes, and media technology keeps changing and porn finds a way to adapt to it.

Lately, though, it has had a harder time adapting than usual. While the internet helped grow the adult industry, that same medium is undermining it by facilitating piracy and limiting distribution channels. Unlike Netflix or other streaming services, most major media companies don’t allow adult content on their platforms. Some have even gotten rid of their softcore content.

These limitations and setbacks are likely temporary, though. For as long as there is a market for sexy content and a collective libido that remains unsatisfied, the adult industry will find a way to adapt and make profits. It’s very likely that 20 years from now, the porn industry will look nothing like it does today.

Whatever form it takes will likely astonish some and terrify others. It’s hard to know for sure how the economics of porn will evolve, but there are already signs that the future of the adult industry is taking shape. As we saw with the VHS/Betamax issue, the technology is already in place. It’s just a matter of maturation and refinement.

As I write this, the development of sex robots is well underway. There’s also already an established market for life-like sex dolls that can’t interact with users, but can still provide an intimate experience that you can’t get through a computer screen. This current situation has already been subject to controversy, but further refinements ensure there will be many more to come.

That’s not just me speculating, though, as I’ve done before with sex robots and sex dolls. I’m writing this because a critical, but under-reported refinement in the sex doll/sex robot industry took place recently in China from a company called DS Doll Robotics. Their plans, if they come to fruition, may do for sex dolls what McDonald’s did for cheeseburgers.

Those plans involve addressing one of the key limitations of sex dolls at the moment, which also will plague sex robots if it isn’t addressed. As it stands, just making a sex doll is expensive, labor-intensive, and difficult to mass produce. That’s why most high-quality sex dolls will set you back at least several thousand dollars. It’s actually comparable to the cost of cell phones in the early 1980s.

DS Doll Robotics is looking to change that. In July 2018, they launched plans to utilize 3D printing to help streamline the manufacturing process. What the assembly line did for cars, this company hopes to do for sex dolls and, eventually, sex robots that incorporate artificial intelligence.

It may sound mundane on paper since 3D printing has been an emerging technology in the manufacturing sector. It’s still has room to mature in the same way the early internet had to mature, but it’s one of those technologies that’s uniquely equipped to help the adult industry. In fact, it’s not unreasonable to say that it’ll completely reinvent it.

That’s because DS Doll Robotics isn’t just using 3D printing to streamline the manufacturing process. They’re also using new scanning techniques to scan the bodies of real humans as a baseline, of sorts. This is an exact quote from the July 2018 article that reported on the company’s plans.

“It is also connected to a 3D scanner which can be used to scan in the body of a full person as well as prototype parts for replication. This type of technology is excellent for creating new doll bodies and faces as they can be developed from a real human.”

That bold text is my doing because that’s the part of the story, I feel, that has far greater implications. Just making sex dolls cheaper and easier to produce isn’t going to change the adult industry too much. It may expand an existing market that had been cost-restrictive before, but it won’t provide a radically different experience compared to the one that exists today.

The part where sex doll manufacturers scan the bodies of real people, though, is something that will significantly impact the entire landscape of the adult entertainment industry. It won’t just change the economics of sex dolls. It’ll change the way the adult industry operates.

To understand how, it’s necessary to know how adult entertainers make money in the current economy. Most people in the adult industry, be they performers, directors, or producers, get paid a certain amount for each scene they perform. In the past, they could also depend on residuals from DVD sales, but those have declined sharply due to piracy and tube sides.

As a result, it’s becoming increasingly common for porn stars to do escorting on the side. Being a porn star makes it more lucrative than regular escorting, but that still comes with risks, especially in wake of recent legal issues attacking sex work. With sex dolls and 3D printing, though, these entertainers suddenly have a new way to monetize their sex appeal.

From a business standpoint, porn stars and beautiful celebrities in general are in the best possible position to franchise their bodies. Say there’s a moderately-successful porn star, male or female, who has some level of notoriety. If they do their job well, they create a fan base. Chances are there’s a significant portion of that fan base that wants to have sex with them.

Thanks to DS Doll Robotics, they can get that or at least something close to that without having to resort to escorting. Some porn stars already licence parts of their bodies as sex toys, but with 3D printing technology, they can do it all. With further refinements to the flesh and molding of the body, it wouldn’t just feel like plastic. It would feel real.

Some of this is already being done to a limited extent. Some porn stars have licensed their bodies to create life-like sex dolls. However, they’re still very expensive and labor intensive. Refinements of 3D printing will bring that cost down and that will grow the market, but it won’t stop there.

It’ll only be when sex robots and artificial intelligence enter the mix that the true future of the adult entertainment industry will take hold. Once those same licensed bodies develop an ability to interact with their users, then they’re not just over-sized masturbation aids. They deliver a full-on sexual experience.

Like brands of clothing or food, each adult entertainer could create a particular brand. One star might have a really cute, friendly personality. Another might have a very domineering, controlling personality. By incorporating them into a sex robot, they create a product that cannot be experienced through a computer screen, let alone pirated.

For the adult stars themselves, it’s easy money. They wouldn’t actually have to do anything, sexual or otherwise. They would just have to license their likeness to a company and collect a portion of the residuals like any merchandising company. If they prove really popular, then they could conceivably create a life-long income that continues well past their stint in the business.

That’s something that’s difficult to do in any entertainment industry, pornographic or otherwise. The use of 3D printing and more realistic materials will make that both possible and lucrative. If it becomes cheap enough, then the opportunities even go beyond direct sales.

There are already sex doll brothels operating in certain parts of the world. In areas where prostitution is legal, there’s even an app for people to order a prostitute the same way they would an Uber. In the future, if someone doesn’t want to buy, store, and maintain a sex robot, they may just rent one for a while. Between discretion and safety concerns, there would certainly be a market for that.

I’m sure that sort of business would attract a great deal of controversy and outrage. Sex dolls are already controversial and sex robots already have their opponents. However, if history is any guide, the prospect of making money and satisfying peoples’ burning libidos will win out. It’s just a matter of how quick the technology can progress and how quickly the ever-evolving adult industry adapts.

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Filed under futurism, Marriage and Relationships, sex in media, sex in society, sex robots, sexuality, Sexy Future

Tagged as 3D Manufacturing, 3D printing, adult industry, celebrities, celebrity culture, economics, emerging technology, feminism, future of love, future of sex, future of society, future society, futurism, illegal prostitution, legal prostitution, love dolls, love robots, lover bots, MGTOW, porn industry, prostitution, sex, sex dolls, sex in society, sex robots, sexuality, Sexy Future, the future, the future of sex

August 6, 2018 · 8:45 pm

Publishing Update: Another (Expected) Rejection

I just wanted to post a quick update on my publishing efforts, which I know I haven’t talked much about lately. There’s a reason for that, though. For the past couple months, I’ve been working with a former publisher to re-acquire the rights to a manuscript that was edited and prepared for publication a couple years ago.

That process took longer than I’d hoped, but it went through and I tried to re-submit the manuscript to the same publisher that published “Passion Relapse” and “Rescued Hearts.” I did this knowing it was somewhat of a long shot because my last three manuscripts to this publisher had been rejected. I felt if I could get this through, we would be back on track.

Sadly, that didn’t happen. Earlier today, I got a rejection letter. It wasn’t the rude kind, though. The editor offered me a sincere apology that they would not be able to publish my work. She claimed that things have been rough for small to mid-tier publishers. Unless your J. K. Rowling or Stephen King, it’s just hard to get any major project off the ground. I can understand that, but a rejection is a rejection.

I believe that after this, I’m done with that particular publisher. I’m not entirely sure of my next step. I’m still sitting on several finished manuscripts and one that is already professionally edited and ready to go. I’m not sure where to turn to next. I’m thinking of giving Writers Market a chance, but this is the part of the business I still don’t know much about.

When it comes to writing a novel or a sexy short story, I know how to do that. When it comes to the business and marketing side of things, though, I’m pretty ignorant. I’ll keep feeling my way around in the dark, hoping I’ll stumble across something. For now, though, my publishing efforts are a bit on hold. I hope it doesn’t stay that way. If anything changes, I’ll announced it in between sexy short stories.

To everyone who has supported and encouraged my efforts, I sincerely thank you.

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Filed under Books, Pubilishing, erotica, Las Vegas, erotic fiction, romance, Crimson Frost Books, Jack Fisher's Insights, Uncategorized

Tagged as epublishing, erotic fiction, erotic novels, erotica, erotica stories, getting published, Jack Fisher, Jack Fisher Blog, Jack Fisher Books, Jack Fisher Novels, love, love stories, love story, novels, professional writing, publishing, Publishing Novels, rejection, rejection letter, romance, romance novel, romance novels, self-publishing, writing, writing novels

August 6, 2018 · 5:25 am

Why You Can’t Believe In Eternal Hell, Be Anti-Abortion, And Be Morally Consistent

Brace yourself because I’m about to talk about two topics that make people very uncomfortable. One is abortion, a heated political topic that is poised to get even more heated, due to recent political upheavals. The other is Hell, a distressing theological issue that makes us dwell/lament on our impending death. If that weren’t volatile enough, I’m going to tie both topics together.

Rest assured, I’m not doing this to combine a couple of controversial issues for dramatic effect. While I loathe talking about issues like abortion, I don’t avoid it when it reveals something important about a particular movement or can demonstrate important lessons about society.

When it comes to Hell, a topic that heats up any debate between believers and non-believers, the conversations are just as difficult. I still feel they’re worth having. This one, in particular, counts as one of them because there are certain implications that warrant a more nuanced discussion.

It’s no secret that those who are vehemently anti-abortion also happen to be religious. Anti-abortion protesters even cite bible passages to justify their position. Now, I can understand and even accept certain ethical aspects of the pro-life position. However, when religion enters the debate, that’s where some real disconnects emerge.

That’s because when those factors enter the pro-life equation, both the morality and the math break down. To understand why, it’s important to focus on an aspect of the abortion debate that the late, great George Carlin famously emphasized. He sought consistency in the anti-abortion debate and noted its rarity in the most hilarious way possible.

Consistency is important if your argument is going to have merit. Even with emotionally-charged topics like abortion, consistency is key to ensuring that an argument has some semblance of logic. Since logic and faith tend to conflict, especially in matters of science, bringing religion into the mix can easily derail that consistency.

This is where the issue of Hell enters the picture. It’s a very unpleasant, but very critical concept to certain religions, namely Christianity and Islam. It’s central to their theology, which emphasizes punishment for the sinful. It’s a very morbid, but very relevant concept because everybody dies and nobody knows for sure what happens afterwards, if anything.

In the abortion debate, Hell matters for the anti-abortion side because their most frequent refrain is that abortion is murder. Having an abortion is the taking of a human life and murder is an egregious sin. It’s one of the few sins that’s enshrined in both secular law and the 10 Commandments.

By holding that position, though, it raises an important implication for both the consistency of the anti-abortion position and the theology used to justify it.

If abortion really does take a life, then what happens to that life? Does it go to Heaven or Hell?

That’s a critical question to answer, but it’s here where both the consistency and the moral underpinnings of the anti-abortion debate break down. In fact, it doesn’t even matter which way the question is answered. It still has critical implications that make an anti-abortion stance for religious reasons untenable.

To understand why, we need to look at the possible answers to the question and examine the bigger picture. Say, for instance, that you believe the deity you worship saves the souls of aborted fetuses. They all get to go to Heaven because sending unborn children to Hell just doesn’t make sense for a loving God.

By that logic, though, wouldn’t abortion actually be the best thing a woman could do for her unborn child? If, by aborting a pregnancy, she guarantees that her child goes to Heaven, wouldn’t that be the greatest act of love a mother could give?

In that moral framework, any woman who gives birth is basically gambling with their child’s soul. By bringing them into a sinful world, they put them in a position to live a life that will eventually send them to Hell. It doesn’t matter if that chance is remote. It doesn’t even matter if the deity reserves Hell for the worst of the worst. Any child born still has a non-zero chance of damnation.

In that context, being anti-abortion is the worst position to take for someone who believes that their deity sends aborted fetuses to Heaven. If anything, they would have to be in favor of abortion for every pregnancy, planned or unplanned, because it means more souls in Heaven and fewer in Hell.

The implications are just as distressing if you answer the question the other way. If your deity sends aborted fetuses to Hell, then logic follows that this deity cannot be just or loving. A fetus, by default, has no ability to even contemplate sin, let alone commit it. Sending it to Hell implies that sin, itself, is an empty concept.

It also undercuts key aspects of Judeo-Christian theology, which says that someone must sin to warrant damnation. Holding both a fetus and a young child with a limited capacity to understand such concepts is untenable. Keep in mind, Hell is supposed to be full of torture and suffering. What kind of deity puts a child through that?

Even if the deity knows which fetus or small child is destined to sin and punishes them accordingly, that still renders the anti-abortion position pointless. If the deity already knows which life is damned, then why does it matter whether a woman opts to have an abortion? If that has already been determined, then abortion has no religious implications whatsoever.

Whatever the case, the very concept of Hell creates an illogical loop that is incapable of consistency. Even if you grant the most generous assumptions of a religious argument, it still falls apart as soon as you try to put it into an ethical framework.

While the very concept of Hell is subject to all sorts of moral complexities, it effectively supercedes those complexities in the abortion debate. Either Hell is full of innocent aborted souls or is devoid of them. In both cases, it reveals more about the deity and the adherents of a religion than it does the actual issue.

None of this is to say that those who make anti-abortion arguments on the basis of faith aren’t sincere. I don’t doubt for a second that they are. They genuinely believe that abortion is immoral and constitutes murder. However, when it comes to making a moral argument, consistency matters. Without it, the arguments are entirely arbitrary and there’s no winning that debate.

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Filed under gender issues, human nature, philosophy, political correctness, religion, sex in society, women's issues

Tagged as abortion, abortion rights, anti-abortion, atheism, belief in Hell, Christianity, conservatism, conservative, God, Heaven, Hell, human nature, human rights, Islam, Judaism, liberal, liberalism, libertarian, life after death, pro-abortion, pro-choice, pro-life, religion, religious right, religous culture, Satan, sex, Sex and God, sex and religion, sexuality, the bible, theology, women's health, women's rights

August 5, 2018 · 12:06 am

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Dog Days Of Summer Edition

It’s the first Sunday of August and that usually means we’ve officially entered the dog days of summer. We’ve all heard that expression at some point and not just from baseball fans. It usually signifies the point in the year in which the summer heat starts to burn and no amount of cold lemonade can stop it.

Now, I love summer as much as the next person who enjoys pool parties and beach trips. I love the hottest days of summer more than the coldest days of winter. At the same time, though, there’s a point where even I find the heat unbearable. Between sunburns, humidity, and hungry mosquitoes, even I can’t overlook the flaws.

As I write this, I’m nursing more than my share of sunburns and mosquito bites. I’ve also seen more than a few days where the temperature got into the triple digits and even my love of sleeping naked only goes so far. August tends to bring out the best and worst parts of summer and as much as I strive to stay positive, I can’t overlook how much my sun burns hurt.

I’m still not eager for winter to get here and hinder my ability to lounge around naked, but I’m not going to hide from the difficulties. As such, I dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the dog days of summer and how we cope with them. Enjoy!

“Tough love and rough sex aren’t the same thing, but they use similar methods.”

“Anyone with a spanking fetish who is still insulted by a slap in the face is sending mixed messages.”

“Is there any feasible way to tell someone you think of them while you masturbate and present it as a compliment?”

“The fact that men are repulsed by the workings of female genitalia, but still want to put their dick in it says a lot about the power of their sex drive.”

“Marriage is like paying for a reserved parking spot with a piece of your heart, a part of your soul, and significant legal liabilities.”

“True love is being able to fart in the same bed with someone.”

“Talking to your lover about what you want in bed is like giving them a guide, but just telling them what to do is like giving them homework.”

I hope this provides enough distraction from the humidity, among other things. We’re in the middle of summer and probably have a few more heat waves to endure. That means more sun burns and bug bites lie ahead of us. As frustrating as they can be, I’ll take that over shoveling a foot of snow off my driveway any day of the week.

Al Bundy, Circumcision, And Double Standards In Humor

When you want to know how taboo a topic is, it helps to look at how sensitive people are to jokes about it. Most people can comfortably joke about teenagers, old people, the President, the French, and the Pope. Some of those jokes even make it into popular cartoons and sitcoms that we still laugh at to this day.

Then, there are topics for which making jokes is a gamble. Make the wrong remark at the wrong time and it could really cost you. Just ask Gilbert Gottfried or Roseanne Barr. The stakes get even higher when you joke about religion. Some have a better sense of humor than others, but those that don’t tend to make the news for all the wrong reasons.

Since humor and religion rarely mix, I want to focus on a topic that’s slightly less sensitive in circumcision. I say slightly because gender-specific humor is a lot trickier these days. Old jokes about women drivers and gay men just don’t work anymore and not because more cars are driving themselves.

Between trends in feminism and outrage over Wonder Woman’s armpit hair, the current state of gender politics is no laughing matter. I’ve talked about gender conflicts on many occasions and I’ve also discussed serious issues surrounding circumcision. I’m also aware that the current issues surrounding circumcision aren’t on many peoples’ radar, but I still think it’s worth talking about.

This isn’t just about representation in media or offensive stereotypes. This is about purposefully mutilating parts of the human body. When it happens to women, it’s a major problem that warrants major resources to combat. When it happens to men, though, it’s no big deal and prone to plenty of humor.

It’s more than just a double standard. It reveals a lot about our overall attitudes when we’re willing to joke about something. It shows how much the issue matters and how much energy we’re willing to put in to confront it. To understand the state of circumcision for men, you need look no further than an old episode of “Married With Children.”

I’ve mentioned this classic Fox sitcom before. I put it at the top of my list of TV shows that could never be made today. The fat jokes alone would get it cancelled. It’s a show that went out of its way to be controversial, much to the chagrin of a Michigan house wife. That included an episode about circumcision.

This particular episode was called “A Little Off The Top” and if you know anything about male circumcision, you understand why that’s an overly appropriate title. It starts with Al Bundy getting injured in a basketball game, going to a hospital, and getting circumcised due to a medical error.

It’s all portrayed with typical “Married With Children” hilarity. In fact, one of the most memorable moments of the episode is when Peggy gets a call from the hospital and Marcy, the Bundy family’s neighbor and one of Al’s many enemies, laughs hysterically. I’m not going to lie. When I saw a recent rerun of the episode, I laughed too.

That’s the genius of “Married With Children.” It can take depressing situations like a loveless marriage, a lousy job, and idiot kids and make it funny. It’s part of why this show is one of my favorite shows of all time. When you strip away the humor in this episode, though, there are some disturbing overtones.

To illustrate, here’s a quick thought experiment. Imagine, for a moment, that this isn’t happening in a TV show and you just randomly stumbled across a news article.

“Local Chicago man rushed to a hospital after injury playing basketball is mistakenly circumcised. Family and neighbors make fun of him.”

Take away the iconic Bundy family and the context of a sitcom. Just look at it in terms of raw facts. A man gets an injury, goes to the hospital, has his genitals mutilated against his will due to an error, and is laughed at because of it. The fact that it happens to Al Bundy makes it funny. If it happened to anyone in the real world, it’s not likely to be as funny.

Medical errors are already horrifying enough. This one is extra disturbing for men because it involves our genitals. There’s already a growing reservation about circumcising baby boys for no medical reason who cannot consent, which did not exist when “Married With Children” was on the air. On top of that, there’s a distinct double standard in play.

Even in the lewd world of a 90s Fox sitcom, there are lines that even the Bundy family cannot cross. If you were to reverse the genders in this episode, as I’ve put forth as part of previous thought experiments, then the humor just doesn’t work. If the episode involved a woman who’d been circumcised against her will by accident, then it wouldn’t be funny. It would be disturbing.

The reasons for that aren’t entirely simple. There is a medical and logistical difference between male and female circumcision. For the most part, female circumcision in its various forms are prone to more complications, even in a medical setting. Male and female anatomy are different. There’s no getting around that.

However, the logistics are the same. They both involve cutting, altering, or outright mutilating someone’s genitals against their will. Despite these similarities, one is still capable of being funny while the other is not.

That idea matters because when something can be funny, it impacts how seriously we take it as a society. We can joke about ditzy blonde women, bone-headed men, and irresponsible teenagers because they’re not seen as dire issues. That’s also the reason why we can make jokes about the Vatican in 2018 that probably would’ve gotten people killed half-a-century ago.

The fact that male circumcision can be a joke or the premise of a sitcom says that it’s not serious enough to be on the same level as female genital mutilation. They may not be the same thing, but the implications are still there. When a woman is mutilated, it’s a travesty. When a man is mutilated, it’s comedy. That is not a trivial gap.

I doubt “Married With Children” was trying to make a statement about male circumcision when the episode first aired. The show made a lot of controversial jokes and circumcision barely cracks the top ten. Even if that episode aired today, it probably wouldn’t be that controversial, which says a lot about how little our attitudes about male circumcision have changed since the mid-90s.

In that same time, though, efforts to combat female genital mutilation have gained ground. Efforts to beautify and protect the female body are part of a larger social trend. However, those efforts are not equally prescribed to men, even when the concept is the same.

Now, I’m in no ways in favor of making jokes about male circumcision taboo. Historically speaking, making anything taboo only tends to make an issue worse. I’m also not advocating that we start joking about female genital mutilation, either. My point in citing a memorable episode from a raunchy 90s sitcom is to show the vast disparity in the circumcision debate.

When something is a joke for one group of people, but an atrocity for another, then there’s a major disconnect in the issue. Both sides can and should be discussed seriously. Both can and should be held to similar standards are humor, as well. When you start making exceptions for one over the other, then that obscures the debate for both.

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Filed under circumcision, gender issues, political correctness, sex in media, sex in society, sexuality

Tagged as Al Bundy, anti-feminism, circumcision, comedy, dark comedy, dark humor, double standards, female circumcision, female genital mutilation, feminism, gender, gender double standards, gender equality, gender inequality, gender issues, gender roles, humor, intactivism, intactivist, male circumcision, Married With Children, masculinity, men's health, men's issues, men's rights, Radical Feminism

August 3, 2018 · 5:24 am

The Hard Consequences Of Soft Censorship

If you walked up to any random person on the street and asked them how they feel about censorship, chances are they would say they’re against it. Absent any context, most people equate censorship with tyranny and rightly so. Historically speaking, tyrannical societies are not beacons of free speech.

When you add context to that same question, though, then people are a bit more diverse in their response. They may say they’re against censorship, but they’ll also oppose hate speech and even support efforts to remove it from certain venues or platforms. It’s not the same as government-suppressed speech, but it’s still censorship on some levels.

A government’s effort to prohibit or punish speech is more daunting. That’s exactly why we have things like the First Amendment. Governments are big, powerful entities with armies and tax collectors. Their brand of censorship is a lot more concrete than others. That’s why such extensive legal protections are necessary.

When it comes less overt forms of censorship, though, the line isn’t as clear and neither are the legal protections. It can take the form of de-platforming a controversial speaker, which has happened on college campuses. It can also take the form of banning certain websites or certain subgroups within a website. These efforts aren’t usually called censorship. They’re usually referred to as preventing the spread of hate.

Personally, I don’t buy that excuse. As much as I abhor some of the things people say, both online and in person, any attempt to indirectly silence them is still censorship in my book. I call it “soft censorship” because it doesn’t involve government force. In many cases, it’s a grass roots effort to combat certain ideas that many find offensive.

That seems to be the most notable standard these days, the offensiveness of certain speech. That’s understandable, given how the world is more connected than it has ever been in human history. It’s now easier than ever for hateful, offensive speech to spread. Conversely, it’s also easy for the outrage to that speech to spread as well.

As a result, the forces behind that outrage are often the most powerful forces behind soft censorship. That outrage takes many forms too. It can be driven by political correctness, religious dogma, and general trolling. Censorship or suppression of speech is not always the stated goal, but it is often a desired result.

Given the ongoing changes to the media landscape, this brand of censorship seems to be getting more prominent than anything government effort. In fact, the reason I chose to bring this issue up is because of a few notable incidents that highlight the growing disconnect between free speech and movements to combat hate speech.

The first incident happened earlier this year and came from the gaming world, a domain that is no stranger to censorship and targeted outrage. The outrage in this case, though, had nothing to do with how beautiful women are depicted and everything to do with the policy of the popular Steam platform by Valve.

The particulars of the issue are simple. Valve was getting criticism for allowing too many violent, adult-oriented games on their platform, including those with overtly erotic themes. For a while, it looked like they would follow the same policy as Nintendo and Apple, who don’t allow anything that can’t be shown in a Disney movie.

Surprisingly, and refreshingly for some, Valve opted for a more libertarian policy. The standards are simple. As long as the content isn’t illegal or outright trolling, then it’s permitted. In the context of freedom of speech and creative freedom, this should count as a victory. However, that’s not how some saw it.

Almost immediately, Valve was heavily criticized for this freedom-centric policy and for all the wrong reasons. Some went so far as to call it irresponsible and cowardly, daring to permit games on their platform that might be overly graphic, crude, or sexy. Being a private company and not a government, that’s certainly their right.

Even so, it generated outrage. People didn’t see it as an act to promote free expression. They see it as a means of spreading hateful, offensive, sexist content and profiting from it. At at time when the video game industry sparks outrage every time it depicts a female character, Valve really took a chance by taking this approach and it’s sure to generate plenty more controversy, albeit for the wrong reasons.

Those same reasons showed up in another incident involving Reddit, a site on which I’m very active. Specifically, it involved a subreddit called KotakuInAction, which emerged in wake of the infamous GamerGate controversy in 2014. As a result, it has a reputation for being pretty brutal in its criticisms of regressive, far-left attitudes.

It’s oftent cited as one of the most “toxic” places on Reddit. There have been more than a few efforts to ban it. At one point, for reasons that I’d rather not get into, it was actually removed by its original creator. However, it was saved and put back up within less than a day, much to the relief of the nearly 100,000 subscribers.

Few will call that a victory for free speech. Those who criticize Valve and Reddit for permitting it don’t see their actions as suppressing speech. They see it as combating harassment and hate. Therein lies the problem with that effort, though. Harassment and hate are serious issues, but attacking only the speech is like attacking a single symptom of a much larger disease.

Even if Reddit had permanently banned KotakuInAction and Valve had opted to censor offensive games, it wouldn’t have made the ideas behind them disappear. Like putting a censor bar in front of female breasts, it doesn’t change the fact that they’re there and that they have an impact.

You could turn off the internet, burn every book, and shut down every newspaper tomorrow. That still wouldn’t stop people from thinking and feeling the things that lead them to want to say something offensive or create an offensive game. Speech is just a byproduct of ideas. Attacking the speech is not the same as confronting the source.

In fact, doing so can be counterproductive. There’s a real phenomenon called the Streisand Effect wherein efforts to hide, remove, or cenors something ends drawing more attention to it. The fact that Area 51 is a super-secret government facility that everyone knows about shows how powerful that effect can be.

In the context of combating hate, efforts to censor those behind it can end up elevating their message. When someone is censored, there’s an application of force implied. Whether it’s from a government or a moderator on a message board, censorship requires some level of force. Applying it to anyone is going to put them in a position to feel oppressed and that oppression tends to fuel hatred.

Harassment is different because when it comes to free speech, the line between discourse and threats is a bit less ambiguous. The Supreme Court has established a criteria for what constitutes “fighting words,” but it’s when things happen on a computer screen where it gets tricky.

Like hate, though, there’s a right and wrong way to deal with harassment. The right way to deal with a direct threat is to contact local law enforcement. The wrong way is to make it into a spectacle that requires that both the harasser and the platform they used to be condemned.

It’s an inescapable fact of life in any functioning society. The same platforms we use to interact will be used by others for disgusting, hateful, and offensive activities. We may feel disgust and revulsion for these things, but trying to silence both the people and the platform doesn’t make the sentiment behind it go away.

That’s the ultimate danger of soft censorship. It’s not like a censorship-loving government that can be overthrown or reformed. It’s a mentality that seeks to remove content from certain mediums in hopes that it will subsequently discourage the mentality behind it. Unfortunately, human beings aren’t wired that way.

That’s the ultimate danger of soft censorship. It’s not like a censorship-loving government that can be overthrown or reformed. It’s a mentality that seeks to remove content from certain mediums in hopes that it will subsequently discourage the mentality behind it. Considering the impact of the the Streisand Effect, it’s utterly backwards.

I’m all for confronting hate and combating harassment, but not through censorship, hard or soft. It’s hard enough trying to change someone’s mind in an era where they can customize their news feeds. At the end of the day, we can only truly affect someone’s heart and mind by focusing on the person and not what’s on their computer screens.

My Top Six Non-Canon Comic Cook Romances Of All Time

This has been a rough summer for fans of superhero comics, romance, and weddings. For a fan like me, this summer couldn’t have been rougher without adding a broken air conditioner to the mix. Between the depressing outcome in X-men Gold #30 and the disappointment in Batman #50, this summer has been a one-two punch to the heart.

While it’s pretty disheartening, I’m not totally discouraged. Being the admitted romantic I am, I believe love will eventually win out. I know that sounds corny and ripped right out of a Disney movie, but wouldn’t put so much energy into so many sexy love stories if that belief weren’t sincere.

Even so, I feel as though the current mood surrounding romance and superhero comics has a lot of room for improvement. Mr. and Mrs. X #1 was a good start, but only to a point. There’s only so much that I can do as a fan, aside from buying comics that depict quality romances with great sex appeal. Beyond that, my influence is limited.

As such, I’m going to take a moment from complaining about the current state of love in superhero comics and try a little exercise in romantic imagination. By that, I mean I’m going to contemplate the romantic potential of superheroes that will probably never cross paths, due to rights issues and belonging to different publishers.

It’s a sad fact of life and copyright laws that Marvel characters cannot interact with DC characters. However, that doesn’t mean certain characters don’t have romantic potential. In fact, I believe some have more potential than they do with anyone in their current continuity.

What follows is my personal list of the top six non-canon superhero couples. Not every couple on this list is a Marvel and DC character paired together, but given how many iconic characters those two companies control, it’s somewhat unavoidable. Also, please keep in mind that this is just my list. It is by no means definitive. This is just something meant to inject a little romance into a summer that badly needs it.

Number 6: Black Panther and Vixen

When it comes to healthy romance, it helps when two people share the same quirks. Whether that’s wine tasting or underwater basket weaving, having similar distinctions go a long way towards helping a couple thrive. It’s for that reason that I believe Black Panther and Vixen have the quirks/kinks to make a romance that’s both functional and sexy.

Black Panther’s star has risen quickly thanks to a billion-dollar movie, but his romantic history has been somewhat stagnant. His brief, but bland marriage to Storm of the X-men came off as a gimmick rather than a relationship. While he has chemistry with Nakia, it’s only the very general kind.

That’s where Mari “Vixen” MaCabe sets herself apart. Her powers, abilities, and personality is largely driven by her connection to animal spirits. It’s very similar to the connection that Black Panther has with Wakanda’s native deity, Bast. Being connected to animal spirits and having a fondness for jungle-themed costumes gives these two a unique connection that they haven’t had with their in-universe love interests.

I believe these two would complement each other in unique ways. Vixen is cunning and charismatic. Black Panther is strong and diplomatic. Alone, they’re both pretty strong. Together, they’re even stronger and much sexier.

Number 5: Dr. Strange and Zatanna

This is another instance of two people having shared interests, but with Dr. Strange and Zatanna, it goes deeper than that. These two are some of the most recognizable mystical characters in their respective worlds. Dr. Strange is the Sorcerer Supreme in Marvel and Zatanna is one of the most skilled magicians in the DC Universe. Together, their magic can be pretty potent, literally and figuratively.

However, it’s not just because of their mystical skills that I believe they would be good together. In their respective universes, both characters struggle to maintain even a semi-functional relationship. Zatanna often finds herself on the outside looking in with love interests like Batman and John Constantine. Dr. Strange has never had much of a love life outside Clea, who is almost always relegated to a supporting role.

Zatanna is not the kind of woman who is content with a supporting role. She’s someone who fights alongside Batman and the Justice League. She can handle the crazy mystical threats that Dr. Strange deals with on a regular basis.

For Dr. Strange, he finally has someone who can deal with his attitude and arrogance, which is a tough barrier for any potential love interest. Again, Zatanna dealt with Batman. Any woman who can deal with Batman has an edge. The fact she isn’t afraid to show her legs off and be a bit more playful with her magic also helps.

More than anything else, Zatanna is someone who could make a man like Dr. Strange smile while he works. That, in and of itself, is a kind of magic that helps any relationship.

Number 4: Batman and Sara Pezzini (Witchblade)

This one kind of breaks the mold because it doesn’t pair a Marvel character with a DC character. Sara Pezzini, also known as the bearer of the Witchblade, is not a Marvel character. She’s a product of Top Cow Productions. She comes from a very different world compared to Batman, but that world makes her uniquely equipped to handle being Batman’s lover.

Batman requires that a romance be complicated and prone to tragedy. Few women can handle that. While Catwoman came very close to making it official, it’s a testament to just how tortured Batman is in his love life, among other things.

For Sara Pezzini, that’s exactly the kind of man who brings out the best in her. Unlike Catwoman, Sara was never a thief. She’s a cop and a very dedicated cop. Throughout her long-running series, she defines herself as the kind of hard-nosed, tough-as-nails person who doesn’t hesitate to run into the crossfire of a gang war or a demon army.

Beyond just being a cop, Sara deals with far larger problems that come with being the bearer of the Witchblade, an ancient weapon that tends to attract insane threats, even by NYPD standards. Batman already deals with homicidal clowns and thugs who are half-crocodile. They can handle the craziness in each other’s lives.

More importantly, though, Sara can do something that so few women have ever done for Batman. She can complement him as both Bruce Wayne and Batman. As a cop, she can actually help Batman’s efforts to fight crime in Gotham. He can, in turn, help her deal with the supernatural horror shows that tend to follow her, as only Batman can.

On nearly every level, Batman and Sara Pezzini make each other better. They’re the kind of couple that can work together and be together. That kind of romantic combination is potent. Plus, Sara Pezzini’s hardened attitude might actually help Batman crack a smile every once in a while.

Number 3: Superman and Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers)

This is probably the most controversial pairing on this list because Superman has one of the most iconic romances of all time with Lois Lane. Carol “Captain Marvel” Danvers, on the other hand, has no relationships that even come close, even if you take into account her affair with alcohol.

The reason I believe these two would forge a powerful romance is because Carol Danvers embodies the best traits of both Lois Lane and Wonder Woman. She’s a skilled fighter like Wonder Woman, having trained in the military and fought in interstellar wars. She’s also uncompromising in her pursuit of truth, much like Lois Lane.

Beyond just having the best traits of two iconic women, Carol brings something else to the table. Unlike Superman, she wasn’t born with her powers. She got them in an accident that merged her DNA with that of an alien. At the heart of her story, she’s a human who becomes an alien. Superman, by contrast, is an alien who becomes human.

That unique dynamic, the struggle between being alien and human, is something that Superman has never been able to share with either Lois or Wonder Woman. Someone like Carol could both help him through that journey and fight by his side. She’s tough enough to go up against anything, be it a mad Titan or an evil super-genius billionaire.

Superman is, at heart, an ideal. He’s an icon because he sets an impossible standard for others to aspire. Carol Danvers defines herself by doing the impossible and fighting for it every step of the way. That shared struggle can create the kind of love that empowers two already powerful characters.

Number 2: Captain America and Wonder Woman

This one is probably the most logical pairing on this list. In fact, Captain America and Wonder Woman are probably the one instance where their potential is greater than that of any in-canon romance and it’s not just because their movies were so similar.

Captain America and Wonder Woman are ideal love interests because they both represent the best of their respective worlds. Captain America is the embodiment of the American spirit of freedom and justice, reality-warping retcons aside. Wonder Woman is the personification of womanhood, compassion, and a warrior’s spirit. They both set high standards and pride themselves on achieving them at every turn.

It’s a standard that Steve Trevor never achieves, despite being Wonder Woman’s primary love interest. With all due respect to him and Chris Pine, he’s not on Captain America’s level. In fact, Captain America is the kind of guy Steve Trevor aspires to be, but never achieves. That elevates him in terms of how he relates with Wonder Woman.

Beyond just showing Wonder Woman the best a man can be, Captain America can hold his own better in a drawn out battle. He may not have Wonder Woman’s level of powers, but he’s also a man who regularly fights alongside the likes of Thor and Hulk. He’s not just capable of working with demigods. He actually leads them. It’s easy to see why Wonder Woman would fall in love with a man like that.

On Wonder Woman’s side, she can do more than just punch the Red Skull harder than most women. She’s the kind of woman whose compassion and love of justice is second to none. Even though she’s not American, she embodies many of the American principles that Captain America champions. She may very well be the only woman he can love as much as his country.

Number 1: Deadpool and Harley Quinn

This one was a no-brainer. In terms of sheer sex appeal and romantic compatibility, Deadpool and Harley Quinn are in another league on top of being from different comic book worlds.

I don’t think I need to say much about Deadpool’s eccentric tastes in romance. Between his overtly raunchy movie and the fact he married a succubus in the comics, the man isn’t just attracted to crazy. It’s practically an omega-level fetish for him. In terms of crazy, sexy, and all the weird fetishes that go with it, Harley Quinn checks every box.

Beyond her fondness for clown makeup and obscenely short pants, Harley has always been defined by her love with madness. Love is what drove her into a world of villainy when she crosses paths with the Joker. While that relationship has many quirks, plenty of which are quite unhealthy, it shows that Harley loves men who aren’t bound by sanity.

Deadpool wouldn’t just fill her crazy quota and then some. He would offer her the healthy kind of crazy. He’s the kind of guy who reserves gratuitous violence to those who deserve it and that has been a major struggle for Harley for much of her history. He wouldn’t just be able to carry her through that struggle. He’d make her laugh just as much as the Joker and with only half the property damage.

Unlike the Joker or a succubus, Harley and Deadpool are also the kind of relationship that would have a level of sex appeal that is literally crazy. Beyond Harley’s love of skin-tight clothes and Deadpool’s “super penis,” these two would know how to have fun and blow things up, in and out of the bedroom. With these two, you never have to worry about things getting boring.

There you have it. That’s my list for the best non-canon comic book couples. I imagine this list will cause some disagreements. That’s okay and I welcome further debate on the issue. If you think there are other couples I should add to the list, please let me know. This is a rich and sexy topic that’s ripe for discussion.

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Filed under Comic Books, Jack Fisher, Superheroes, Jack Fisher's Insights, Marriage and Relationships, romance, Wonder Woman

Tagged as Batman, Black Panther, Captain America, Captain Marvel, Carol Danvers, comic book romance, comic book wedding, comic books, comic romance, DC, DC Comics, Deadpool, Harley Quinn, Jack Fisher, Jack Fisher Blog, love, love story, Marvel, Marvel Comics, Marvel vs DC, non-canon, romance, superhero romance, superhero wedding, Superman, Witchblade, Wonder Woman

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