Category Archives: Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Dreamer Edition

We all have dreams. Some of them are good. Some of them are bad. Some of them are sexy, which really helps when you’re an aspiring erotica/romance writer. Some people, however, are more ambitious with those dreams. Tomorrow, we’ll be celebrating one of those dreams from a very important dreamer.

Yes, I’m talking about the dream of Martin Luther King Jr. I admit it’s not the sexiest dream with which to build my weekly Sexy Sunday Thoughts, but it damn well ought to be. Certain dreams have a power that transcends sex appeal. They seek to go beyond simply tolerating one another and daring to love one another.

That was one of the most profound aspects of Dr. King’s message. He dared to channel love over hatred. He dared to dream of a world where people of all races and creeds shared in that love. The unapologetic romance fan in me can’t help but admire that dream. It’s one that I believe is worth celebrating.

Regardless of how you feel about Martin Luther King Jr. or his dream, his belief in love is something that’s worth celebrating. It’s also something that deserves a unique kind of sex appeal. As such, I’m proud to dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to that move loving of dreams.


“There’s no such thing as a bad day that begins or ends with a blowjob.”


“Undressing someone with your eyes is just a less invasive form of foreplay.”


“Too much adrenaline during sex is like too much alcohol before riding a roller coaster. It’s bound to be messier than usual.”


“Trying to find a good spouse at a strip club is like trying to find a porn star without any tattoos in that it’s not impossible, but exceedingly difficult.”


“A bad pickup artist is the sexual equivalent of a telemarketer.”


“The natural sex appeal of a woman is directly proportional to how good she looks in a dirty hoodie.”


“The line between a sex addict and an orgasm enthusiast is exceedingly blurred.”


I hope these sexy musings help inspire greater dreams, among other things. Now more than ever, we should dare to dream of a sexier, more loving world. Whether it’s through writing sexy novels or using love to combat hate, that’s a dream worth pursuing and in the spirit of Dr. King, I urge everyone to dream big.

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Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Polar Vortex Edition

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It’s a brand new year and some people are still adjusting to it all. For some, though, they have to do so in some of the most bone-chilling, ball-shriveling weather of the year. As I write this, there’s a big ball of winter’s worst cold hovering over my region. It has really tested my fondness for sleeping naked.

Winter is definitely here and some have argued that it’s the least sexy time of the year. I would tend to agree with that point, if only because it’s hard to wear a bikini or a speedo in sub-freezing weather. That’s not to say there’s no inherent sexiness during this time of year. There certainly is. One of my novels, “Holiday Heat,” is even built around it.

Even in those sexy situations, though, there comes a point where it’s just so cold that it’s hard to think many sexy thoughts. It’s a challenge, even for me, but it’s one I’m more than up for.

So, with the help of some extra hot chocolate and multiple layers of clothing, I’m going to warm myself up as best I can to share a fresh round of “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.” I’m sure there are more than a few people out there already missing the warm summer breezes from the beach. I hope these sexy thoughts will help get you through the coming weeks.


“Nobody can claim they’re truly comfortable in someone else’s home until they’ve had sex and/or masturbated in it.”


“Pity sex is like cold pizza in that it’s not ideal, but still satisfies.”


“When you think about it, every great leader in history would’ve also made an great dominatrix.”


“Is morning wood just a man’s penis trying to be proactive?”


“Good meals and good sex leave you equally tired, but only one requires someone to clean dishes.”


“When you think about it, laws against prostitution are just laws against unsanctioned orgasms.”


“The clitoris is the closest thing a woman has to a volume knob, but testicles are the closest thing men have to an off-switch.”


I hope that warms everyone up a bit. I imagine more hot cocoa and long underwear will be necessary in the days to come, but we can’t let cold weather completely numb our sexiness. As an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I intend to do my part. If I can help keep people warm until bikini/speedo weather returns, then I’ll know I’ve done my job.

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Sexy Sunday Thoughts: New Years Eve Edition

Another year has come and another year has gone. Time sure flies when you’re having fun, writing about sexy topics, and writing sexy novels. I’m not complaining, though. I like to think I’ve made the most of 2017. Sure, there are things I’d have done differently or better, but I’m content with how I’ve handled this year.

Now, I’m ready to look ahead to 2018. I’m already thinking about my goals, my hopes, and my methods for achieving both. Every year brings new challenges and you can’t always be sexy in confronting those challenges. You sure as hell can make an effort, though. I hope I’ve proven with this blog over the past year that I am willing to make that effort.

I’ll have plenty more to announce and discuss, with respect to my plans for 2018. For now, my main focus will be promoting my next novel, “Rescued Hearts,” which is still set for release in February. I’ve also got a few other manuscripts I’d like to push throughout 2018. Hopefully, those efforts will bear fruit and I’ll add even more to the sex appeal of this blog.

Before we can get to that point, though, let’s enjoy what remains of 2017. It was a challenging, but eventful year. I won’t say whether it was good or bad. Only hindsight from the distant future can make that assessment. I’ll just say that it did have a few things worth celebrating. As such, this final edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is to the year that was and the year we hope to forge in 2018.


“Being in a relationship is like being on a team in that you can’t win a championship without one, but you’ll get disqualified and penalized if you cheat with an opponent.”


“Looking for a woman’s G-spot is like looking for a cheat code in a video game that may or may not exist.”


“Few people are more conflicted than a nudist with a bad case of the chills.”


“The idea that seeing is believing has been greatly complicated by the invention of fake tits.”


“A multi-orgasmic woman is the video game equivalent of a girlfriend on easy mode.”


“Does a man or woman sleeping with their partner’s siblings count as family bonding?”


“A free spirit is a slut who’s nice and generous about it.”


I hope everyone has a chance to do something fun and special to celebrate the end of 2017. Even if this year sucked for you, let this night act as a step forward into something better. In the same way I’m never satisfied with the sexiness of a scene in one of my novels, we should never be satisfied with the outcome of a single year. I believe that, together, we can make 2018 better and sexier than any before it.

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Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Christmas Eve Edition

It’s almost here! After weeks of decorating, shopping, gift-wrapping, holiday specials, and getting drunk on eggnog, the main event is almost upon us. Christmas is almost here. Admit it. The kid in you already restless, excited, and eager to see what Santa left them. Even if you’re an adult, those gift cards aren’t going to spend themselves.

I don’t care how old you are. There’s still something about Christmas that gets us excited in non-sexy, yet beautiful ways. Even if you’ve outgrown the toys and Christmas cookies, something about it still resonates with us. Unless you’re like Billy Bob Thorton’s character in “Bad Santa,” we all feel something warm and fuzzy in our hearts on Christmas morning and it’s not always the spiked eggnog.

As a kid, I have many fond Christmas memories. As an adult, I’ve tried to build on those memories. Sometimes, that involves going the extra mile for my family. Sometimes, that involves finding ways to add a little holiday sex appeal to the festivities. There are quite a few sexy stories I could tell, but I’ll save that for another time. I’d like to stay off Santa’s naughty list for now.

For now, I’m hoping this extra-festive edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts will get everyone in the holiday spirit, among other things. Whether you hate Christmas, don’t celebrate it, or just use it as excuse to watch “A Christmas Story” and “Die Hard,” I hope this helps get you in the right mood.


“Is it hypocritical that most people agree that sex is fun, but we built a major holiday around a story about a woman who gave birth without it?”


“Being a dick and having a dick aren’t mutually exclusive, but one can be a potent tool to motivate the other.”


“If practice makes perfect, then every prostitutes and porn star would qualify as a sex therapist.”


“Fathers make a big deal out of teaching their sons to be men, but don’t mind letting them figure out masturbation on their own.” 


“To young people today, a slow WiFi connection is every bit as infuriating as premature ejaculation.”


“A dorky guy with a big dick is like a bitchy girl with big tits in that potential lovers are slightly more willing to overlook their flaws.”


“Great sex makes every night feel like Christmas Eve and every morning feel like Christmas.”


I hope that helped inspire your holiday spirit and/or made your pants a little tighter. Either way, you’re welcome. I hope it makes whatever you and your family do on Christmas Eve to prepare that much more enjoyable. The holidays are a busy, but wonderful time. We all have our own way to enjoy it and if we can do it while feeling sexy as hell, then that’s just a nice bonus.

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Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Spiked Eggnog Edition

I love the holidays. I love everything about them. I always have, from my playful childhood to my awkward teenage years to my sexier adult years. From the presents to the decorations to the constant debate over whether “Die Hardqualifies as a Christmas movie, there’s so much about the holidays to love.

One aspect of the holidays that didn’t really appeal to me until later in life involved eggnog. Honestly, I thought the stuff looked disgusting, as a kid. Then again, I also thought coffee looked disgusting and now my coffee maker is basically my morning shrine. In that sense, I’m not too surprised that I developed a taste for it, especially after I found out you could spike it with whiskey.

It’s especially tasty after that first blast of winter weather, which came earlier than I expected/hoped this year. As I write this, it’s colder than Ann Coulter’s soul outside. For someone who enjoys sleeping naked, that’s kind of a problem and eggnog spiked with a little whiskey goes a long way towards keeping me warm.

Sure, it does other things too and yes, those things are also enjoyable in their own right. They’re just that much more enjoyable when it doubles as a practical method of staying warm. I know eggnog, especially the spiked variety, isn’t for everyone. For those who see it as a legitimate way of staying warm during the holidays, this week’s edition of my “Sexy Sunday Thoughts” is for you.


“It’s both ironic and fitting that men learn often learn the hardest lessons because of or in spite of erections.” 


“Most children weren’t effected by cartoon violence growing up, but those that were should probably stay away from porn.”


“When you think about it, exercise is an investment and more sex is the dividend payment.” 


“Eating and masturbating don’t need to be taught, but like table manners, a little etiquette makes a difference.”


“Having multiple techniques in foreplay is like having a good vocabulary. It’ll help you navigate certain situations in a more productive manner.”


“The fact that an average-looking woman can get sex easier than a moderately attractive man is a testament to the horniness disparity between genders.”


“A lack of options in sex can inspire/require a more robust imagination.”


I hope this helps keep everyone a little warmer and makes the alcohol-laced eggnog taste a little sweeter. There are certain seasonal drinks that are special because we save them for one particular part of the year. When it’s freezing cold outside and you want to curl up with a sexy novel under your Christmas tree, a stiff drink and a light buzz goes a long way to keeping you warm, among other things.

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Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Gift Wrapping Edition

This may make me a bit of an anomaly among straight men, but I love shopping, especially around the holidays. In fact, it’s one of my favorite parts of the holidays. It’s right up there with whiskey-laced eggnog and beautiful women dressed in sexy elf costumes.

I don’t care if that makes me weird. Compared to other traits that have made me stand out, this one doesn’t bother me in the slightest. If anything, I celebrate my love of shopping around the holidays. I’m the kind of guy who proudly wears his ugliest Christmas sweater to the mall and smiles at anyone who looks at me strangely. My holiday spirit is just that strong.

It’s because of that holiday spirit that I’m often the first among my friends and family to finish his Christmas shopping. Most of the time, I’m done before the first day of December. This year is no exception. As I type this, I’m proud to say that I’m officially done and all my presents are wrapped. If that makes me even weirder in the eyes of the world, so be it.

I make no apologies for my love of the holidays and my fondness for getting my Christmas shopping done early. That’s not to disparage those who procrastinate, buying and wrapping their gifts on Christmas Eve. This is just how I’m wired during the holidays.

Regardless of how you go about shopping or gift wrapping, this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts is dedicated to that spirit that drives us to shop in the name of the holidays. Whether you love it or enjoy dry humping Ebeneezer Scrooge, I hope this boosts that spirit in some meaningful way.


“Historically speaking, oral sex is the only universally accepted currency.” 


“The fact that men can sense on a biological level when a woman is menstruating is inherently more impressive than women noticing a man’s awkward boner.”


“Sex is supposed to bring a couple closer together, marriage is supposed to make it legally binding, and divorce is the penalty for not reading the fine print.”


“When you think about it, a multi-orgasmic woman is the perfect embodiment of persistence.”


“Having sex with an ex-lover is kind of like confronting an old bully, but with more rug burns.”


“Making love and rough sex aren’t mutually exclusive, but one is an inherently greater risk to bedroom furniture.”


“Boner pills and lube are like cheat codes in that they will cause the game to crash when utilized to excess.”


To those who will likely wait until the last moment to finish your Christmas shopping and wrap your presents, I hope this encourages you to be a bit more proactive for the holidays this year, among other things. To those like me who have already finished and are just enjoying the glut of Christmas specials on TV, I hope this makes the eggnog taste that much sweeter.

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Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Holiday Shopping Edition

By now, everyone should be done digesting their Thanksgiving dinner, as well as any leftovers. If not, those leftovers have probably gone bad and I wouldn’t advise trying to digest them at this point. That holiday is over now. It’s time to move onto the next big event. This one doesn’t just involve gut-busting food or eggnog spiced with whiskey. This one involves decorations, lights, and shopping.

That’s right. Christmas is upon us. Kids wait eagerly for this month every year. Adults wait for it too, if only to see the holiday specials they loved as kids. I admit it. I still watch those specials. I still love them. However, what I love more about this time of year is the shopping.

Yes, I’m a man. Yes, I love shopping. No, I’m not going to apologize for it. That should explain why I love Christmas more than most. Ask anyone who has known me for more than a year and they’ll tell you the same thing. I love Christmas and I love shopping for presents.

That may not be very sexy, even for an aspiring erotica/romance writer. Then again, I did write a holiday-themed sexy novel called “Holiday Heat” so I think I deserve an exception. I still stand by it, though. Shopping during the holidays is one of my favorite activities that I can’t legally do naked.

I don’t know how many feel the same, especially among my male audience. However large or small it is, I’m still dedicating this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts to holiday shopping. Your wallet may hate you, but other parts of your body will thank you later.


“Who among us hasn’t accidentally dripped melted chocolate on a beautiful woman’s cleavage, just to watch her lick it up?”


“Time moves so slow watching your lover strip, frustratingly fast once they get in bed, and not slow enough when the afterglow settles in.”


“No epic romance begins with a poop joke, but many endure because of them.”


“A sexy accent is a good substitute for men too cheap to buy cologne.”


“Assuming someone is good at oral sex is as foolish as assuming a plumber is good at brain surgery.”


“True love is a man who doesn’t lose his erection when his lover accidentally farts.”


“It takes balls to get the love of your life, but it also takes a willingness to let someone else hold them an uncomfortably strong grip.”


Whether you love or hate holiday shopping, this is the time to get started. This is the time to be proactive and finish it off quickly. I made sure mine was done before the end of November. Now, I can just sit back, sip some eggnog, and enjoy Christmas specials for the rest of December. It’s a damn good feeling and I hope others get to enjoy it as well.

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