Tag Archives: Jack Fisher

Recounting The Dumbest Injury I Ever Got

We all like showing off scars. It doesn’t matter how big they are. We still use them as a catalyst to tell stories about ourselves. I don’t always get it. It’s just one of those weird things people do to make them seem tougher and more badass than they really are.

It’s not just a man thing, either. Women do this too. They just tend to be more subtle about it.

I have my share of scars from lingering injuries over the years. Each one of them has a story behind it. Some are more painful than others. There are a few I’d rather not share. Instead, I’m going to share a different kind of story about bodily injuries. Specifically, I’m going to tell the story about the dumbest injury I ever got.

It left no badass scar.

It didn’t make me tougher or stronger.

It was just a stupid fluke of an injury that taught me how hilariously frail the human body can be. More than anything else, I hope this story makes you laugh and appreciate the less foolish injuries we endure.

This particular injury occurred when I was playing little league baseball. For a time, it was a spring tradition. My dad would sign me up for little league and we’d build our weeks around it. For the most part, it was great. I loved baseball. I loved playing. I won’t say I was that good, but I certainly wasn’t that bad, either. I had fun, for the most part.

Like with any sport, you’re bound to get a few injuries here and there. I’d endured a few in that time. It was nothing I couldn’t handle. It was nothing that left a scar, either. I got lucky, compared to some of my teammates.

That changed one fateful day at practice. I think I was in the 4th or 5th grade at the time. I wasn’t doing very well that day. I don’t know why. My game was just off. I wasn’t hustling as much as I usual. I was content to just get through practice and prepare for the game.

Then, during fielding drills, the coach hits a ball my way while I’m playing outfield. Rather than glove it, I reach down to pick up the ball so that I can make a play at third base. In doing so, I badly jam my middle finger right against the ball.

It was the flukiest of fluke plays. I reached in and hit the ball with my finger at just the right angle to do some damage. I felt that damage too because I immediately whined about it. I still tried to shake it off, but by the end of practice, my middle finger was noticeably bruised. Part of it also started swelling. By the next day, my finger looked like it got stung by multiple bees.

It hurt like hell. On top of that, it was the same hand I used to write with. That made doing school work more painful than it already was. However, that wasn’t what made the injury so dumb. What truly made it stand out was that, for nearly a week, I could not bend my middle finger.

That meant that, for reasons beyond my control, it looked like I was giving everyone the finger. It was funny at times, but it hurt so much at the time that I don’t remember laughing much. I didn’t need a splint or anything. I just had to wait for it to heal. That was a long wait and there were plenty of embarrassing moments in between, especially at school.

I’m sure my parents remember some of those moments. I complained to them a lot and the best anyone could offer was a bag of ice. It was a miserable time, to say the least. I almost preferred a more serious injury. That would’ve made for a better story to tell. You just can’t tell a great story about picking up a baseball awkwardly and jamming your finger.

It did eventually heal. I did eventually go back to playing little league. I was just a lot more careful when it came to fielding ground balls. I endured more injuries over that time, but none were quite as dumb as that.

If you’ve got a dumber injury you’d like to share, please do so in the comments. Let’s not pretend every injury is epic. We’re all fallible human beings at the end of the day. We’re going to do stupid things and hurt ourselves in stupid ways. The best we can do is laugh about it and learn from it.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: (The Day After) 4th Of July 2020 Edition

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I know it’s a day late, but I’ll say it anyway.

Happy Birthday, America!

As I write this, I’m still digesting large amounts of burgers, hot dogs, and beer. I feel like I did my patriotic duty, celebrating my country in my own special way. Granted, there were no big gatherings or fireworks this year and for obvious reasons. That didn’t keep me from celebrating, nor should it prevent anyone else from doing the same.

Whether it’s just some barbecue or re-watching some of your favorite patriotic movies, everyone celebrates their country in their own special way. Now, I understand that celebrating this country hasn’t been easy this year. I’m not ignorant of the news or America’s less-than-flattering history. I freely admit that America has its flaws.

However, there’s a time to focus on those flaws and there’s a time to focus on the ideals that we strive for. The 4th of July is the latter. I’m a firm believer in those ideals. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness isn’t just a good bumper sticker. It’s a guiding principle for a free country. I believe in pursuing those principles. I believe they’re worth fighting for and striving for.

Yes, we still have a long way to go in living up to those ideals, but that’s what makes the 4th of July great. It allows us to celebrate how far we’ve come. Make no mistake. We have made progress. It’s never as much as we wish, but progress is still progress. It’s worth celebrating and I hope everyone had a chance to do so. Hopefully, these Sexy Sunday Thoughts can put you in a patriotic mood. Enjoy!


“Whoever said that ignorance was bliss probably had a very unsatisfied lover.”


“Drunk sex is never as fun as drunk foreplay.”


“Horniness is nature’s less threatening way of motivating lazy people.”


“When you think about it, faking orgasms is one of the oldest forms of fake news.”


“Friends with benefits can become very complicated when one friend has a weird kink.”


“There’s a non-zero chance you’ve sat in the back seat of the car where you were conceived.”


“As a general rule, you should put as much effort into hiding your sex toys as you do your porn stash.”


This year has been a big test for America and the world, as a whole. There’s no denying that. When we look back on these trying times, we’ll see our strengths as well as our weaknesses. Hopefully, we’ll learn from them. They’ll become hard lessons on the path of pursuing those American ideals. Having lived through them, we’ll all be stronger and better as a result.

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Happy 4th Of July!

To my fellow Americans, but current and aspiring, I wish you a very Happy 4th of July.

I promise there’s no cynicism in that sentiment. I also acknowledge that 2020 has been one of the most trying years in the history of the United States in over a century. It has certainly been one of the toughest years I’ve been through in my lifetime. As much a patriot as I am, I don’t deny that this year has brought out the best and worst aspects of America.

However, as hard as it might be to maintain some level of optimism, I remain proud of my country. I’m proud to be an American. I also intend to celebrate this day in whatever way I can. There may be no cookouts or large gatherings, but you don’t need those things to appreciate America. I encourage all other proud Americans to do the same.

Find a way to celebrate your country.

Find a way to celebrate freedom, liberty, and equality for all.

Find a way to cherish the ideals of what America represents, even in times of crisis.

Tough times make tough people. Tough Americans make a tougher country. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us. For now, let’s celebrate how far we’ve come.

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A (Real) Story About Temptation, Peer Pressure, And Spicy Chicken Wings

I love spicy food. I make no secret of that. I’m the kind of guy who gets weird looks at a restaurant when I put buffalo sauce on potatoes. Some think it’s strange and a little unappetizing. I refuse to apologize for it.

As much as I love spicy food, I have my limits. There is such a thing as too spicy for me. I’ve had chicken wings dipped in sauce that caused me to run to the nearest sink and pour cold water on my head. I learned early on in my diet that there’s a fine line between spicy food and devil spit. I’ve since become quite capable at walking that line whenever I order chicken wings.

I’m glad I did because when it comes to spicy food, you don’t want to learn the hard way how hot it can get. While there are real methods for gauging the spiciness of a food, namely the Scoville Scale, there’s only so much numbers can tell you. For some people, the dangers of using a sauce that measures 1,000,000 Scoville units just doesn’t register.

Those people are destined to learn the hard way how much spice they can handle. As it just so happens, I have a story about one of those people that I’d like to share.

With summer upon us and barbecue foods dominating our dishes, I think the time is right for a quick reminder of what happens when spicy foods go too far. It was also around this time of year that a former co-worker of mine learned just how far it can go and paid the price.

To set the stage, this happened at one of my first jobs out of college. I’d been at this company for about a year or so. I’d made some good connections and quality friends. One of them was a fun-loving guy who I’ll call Derek, out of respect for his privacy. When you see how this story plays out, you’ll appreciate that.

Derek was a lot more extroverted than me. I was still coming out of my social awkwardness shell from high school. This guy, who was also fresh out of college, just loved hanging out and connecting with people. He frequently led other co-workers to nearby restaurants for beers and wings after long days at the office. Sometimes, I attended. Most of the time, I didn’t.

As it just so happens, one of the nearest restaurants to the office I worked at was a well-known buffalo wing place. Like many wing places, they had a broad selection of spicy wings to choose from. One, in particular, was so hot that you had to sign a waiver before ordering it. They called it the Widowmaker. It was said to use the infamous Ghost Peppers in its sauce, but the specifics were a well-kept secret.

I can’t remember too many people who dared to try it. For reasons that are still the stuff of legend, Derek decided to take the plunge one fateful evening after a long day at the office. I can’t get into too many specifics. I’ll just say that there was a considerable amount of beer and peer pressure involved.

To the credit, and chagrin, of my co-workers, they cheered him on. They offered to pay for the entire tab that night if he took up the challenge. It took surprisingly little convincing. Derek wasn’t even that drunk. He’d had only one beer at that point. He still signed the waiver and ordered the Widowmaker.

He was excited.

He was determined.

He claimed he could handle spicy foods better than most.

He would come to regret that boast.

When the Widowmaker wings came out, he was so confident. He looked like he was ready to take on the heavyweight champ in a boxing match. My co-workers were still cheering. He prepared himself mentally. It was a tense moment for everyone involved. He wanted to go down in history as one of the select few who’d finished those wings.

Then, he took his first big bite and swallowed quickly. It turned out to be his last of the evening.

The details after this get a bit fuzzy, but he went from determined to defeated in the blink of an eye. One second, he had the eye of the tiger. The next, it looked like he’d been punched in the jaw, gut, and balls by Mike Tyson on crack. He keeled over, started coughing, and started chugging ice water by the gallon.

Some laughed. Others cringed. A few had to help him to the bathroom so he could wipe the sweat and snot from his face. Needless to say, we all figured out why the restaurant demanded that people sign a waiver.

Derek didn’t come into work the next day. He claimed he needed a sick day. I think his pride was the only thing seriously ill after that experience. He also claimed that he had to stay within 10 feet of a toilet for the day. I don’t doubt him.

When he did come back, he was in good spirits. My co-workers did apologize profusely for goading him into eating the Widowmaker, but he just smiled and accepted. I think in hindsight, it was a humbling experience for him. It’s the kind of experience I think we all need at some point in our lives. Some are just more painful than others. This was one of them.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Lovable Losers Edition

wrong-guy

Everybody loves a winner. Everyone loves being a winner. That’s a fact of life. People are always going to be more inclined to cheer for the team that wins the championship. Their feats are more impressive. It’s easy for them to show their worth. Being a winner proves that by default. They don’t need much luck when it comes to attracting the sexier kind of attention.

At the same time, there’s room for the losers. Depending on how they conduct themselves, they can be lovable and attractive in their own unique way. It’s not just because we have a tendency to root for the underdog. A lovable loser is someone who really strives to push themselves, but just can’t get around a particular barrier or obstacle.

People have limits. Sometimes, it’s a product of talent. Sometimes, it’s an matter of circumstances. Whatever the reason, a loser can be lovable when they put up a fight. Even if they can’t come out on top, they can still say they gave it their all. Cowards are rarely attractive, but someone who loses after fighting with all their heart will still be respectable.

Losing is one of those things that really reveals who someone is. A good loser will learn from their mistakes and work to get better. A bad loser will whine about it and blame others. In terms of finding someone worth loving, the former has more to offer than the latter. To all those who lose, yet still learn, these Sexy Sunday Thoughts are for them. Enjoy!


“Learning to make your lover orgasm is the only gift that literally keeps on giving.”


“If you can’t trust someone with your Wi-Fi password, then you can’t trust them to touch your genitals.”


“Finding the right lover requires a willingness to embarrass yourself in the name of romance.”


“For those with a good sense of humor, laughter is both the best medicine and the best aphrodisiac.”


“Whoever deemed patience a virtue probably had a frustrating sex life.”


“Money can’t buy love, but it enables us to be horny in luxury.”


“Statistically speaking, you’re likely to find someone who appreciates oral sex at a dentist’s office.”


Champions will make the case that winning is everything. At a certain level, that’s true. At others, it’s just the primary goal. Many will try. Only a few will win. Most of us will lose in any endeavor we take on. It’s just a matter of how we navigate it and how we learn from it. That ultimately reveals the kind of person we are and, when handled honorably, it can attract others for all the right reasons.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Father’s Day 2020 Edition

father-dad-parent

I’ve said it before. I’ll keep saying it whenever I get the opportunity. This just happens to be a better opportunity than most. It’s Father’s Day again. That means I can once again stand atop the highest mountain and proclaim to the world one simple truth.

My dad is awesome!

I say that knowing he’ll probably read this at some point. I genuinely hope he reads it today. Yes, I know the subject matter of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts can be quite seamy. I don’t care. I’m still going to use this as an opportunity to remind the world that my dad is the absolute best. There are many ways he’s earned that right. I’ve shared a few, but there are too many for me to put into words.

On Father’s Day, I just try to remind him of how great he is. I am the man I am because of him. He taught me, guided me, and loved me as much as any father could. I didn’t always make it easy for him. Looking back, I realize that I was a difficult child at times. I tested my father on numerous occasions, but he always passed with flying colors.

He was patient, understanding, strong, caring, compassionate, kind, and a whole host of other words that aren’t in a thesaurus. As a kid, you don’t always appreciate it. As an adult, you just love him even more. Dad, whenever you do get around to reading this, know that you really are that awesome. These Father’s Day edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts are for you. Enjoy!


“Most romantic gestures function as an indirect effort to give someone an orgasm.”


“You can’t be be kinky without a certain mix of bravery and imagination.”


“Pity sex is the only reason cowards haven’t gone extinct.”


“When you think about it, marriage only exists as an institution because we don’t trust people with their own genitals.”


“Awkward boners take on a very different meaning in nudist colonies.”


“A handsome man will never get laid as often as a trashy woman.”


“Is a threeway with identical twins still a threeway?”


To all the other awesome fathers out there, of which there are many, I hope you use this day to celebrate. You’ve earned it. Your kids might not always understand you and you might not always understand them. Even so, a father’s love is special and worthy of celebrating.

Happy Father’s Day!

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My Father’s Day Tribute To My Awesome Dad

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The following is a brief tribute video that I made to honor my awesome dad on the eve of Father’s Day. It also includes a brief story that helps convey just how awesome he is. For all the other awesome dads out there who deserve to celebrate tomorrow, this is for you too.

To my awesome dad, Happy Father’s Day!

I love you man.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Secret Freak Edition

preview

What’s the difference between sweet talking and flirting? It’s a question I wish I’d asked as a teenager because knowing the difference really would’ve helped. Flirting is somewhat impersonal. It’s basically someone advertising their desire for a companion. You can use the same words, tone, and demeanor on multiple people and it will still make sense.

Sweet talking is different. Sweet talk is more intimate and personal. It’s the kind of thing you do with someone when you know what gets their heart beating faster. It’s not something you can just do with anyone. You have to know the person on some level. You have to have that shared desire forge a more intimate connection.

It not quite as intimate as physical intimacy, but it’s pretty damn close. It often acts as a catalyst to that level of intimacy. It’s not just what you say to someone. It’s how you say it. With the right tone and demeanor, it can turn a romantic situation into something very seamy. Whenever I’m writing novels or sexy short stories, it’s one of the best parts to explore.

Sweet talk is something that’s unique to every couple. There’s no wrong way to do it. Just find the right words and tone that works with your lover. From there, let the sexy romantic moments unfold. Here are a fresh crop of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help further that effort. Enjoy!


“A rich man can buy love, but a man who loves giving oral sex is more likely to earn it for free.”


“We’re more likely to make peace with or be enslaved by an alien species that we can have sex with.”


“On some levels, being really attracted to someone makes us act like a stripper.”


“Afterglow is nature’s way of tipping our species for surviving.”


“Fairy tale romances are the hardcore porn of love stories.”


“There are many stories about love at first sight, but not nearly enough about love at first orgasm.”


“Someone who is really turned on by obedience should probably be vetted before owning a pet.”


We’re all turned on by different things. We all have romantic senses that are triggered by different words. Part of the fun of connecting with people is learning those quirks. When we find someone who can sweet talk us into something sexy, it’s a beautiful thing. If you’re lucky enough to have someone, embrace it. If you don’t, then that special someone is worth finding.

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My YouTube Experience Thus Far (And Tentative Plans)

It’s been a week since I started my YouTube channel, Jack’s World. I feel inclined to provide a little insight because so far, the experience has exceeded my expectations and in a good way.

Since the beginning of this year, I’ve been looking to mix things up in terms of my creative outlet. I’ve always sought out that kind of outlet, going all the way back to high school. It’s a big part of who I am. I started this website in hopes of furthering my work as an aspiring writer. While it did help in getting a couple books published on a small scale, it didn’t lead to a whole lot more.

The more I’ve looked into it, the more it feels like the publishing world is inaccessible to someone like me. Over the past couple years, it feels like my window to break into it has closed. Finding an agent or a publisher just isn’t a viable route anymore. Even old sources like Writers Market have lost relevance.

In short, the publishing market is just so different right now and I have no idea how to navigate it. I don’t know that I have the time or energy to learn that world. I still have a bunch of unpublished manuscripts that I’d like to share one day, but I’m genuinely unsure of how to go about turning them into a tangible product.

Writing sexy short stories offered a nice outlet for a while as well, but the audience for that dried up as well. The reason I scaled back my efforts on this site earlier this year is because I felt the effort I put into it wasn’t matching what I got out of it. At the same time, I wanted to find another method for reaching an audience and building a brand.

Already, I feel like I can do that with YouTube.

On top of that, I’ve genuinely enjoyed the video-making process. I’m certainly no expert. In fact, I freely admit the quality of my work is amateur at best. I do not use professional-grade software. I use Movie Maker, a free program that came with my computer. I use a free sound editor called WavePad to edit the audio. The music is mostly royalty-free stuff provided by YouTube Studios.

My work is nowhere close to the quality that you see from experienced YouTubers or professionals, but none-the-less, I still like it. I want to learn more. I want to get better at this. I genuinely enjoy sharing my voice with the world in my own little medium.

If I can get an audience and grow it, I may even invest in better software. I have friends and family members who work in professional environments who use high-end software. They’ve already made recommendations. If I continue enjoying this YouTube process, then I’ll gladly invest.

What does this mean for this website?

What does this mean for my writing?

I honestly don’t know. My plan, at the moment, is to put more energy into making videos. That likely means less energy for this website. I don’t know what that means for my weekly comic reviews or Sexy Sunday Thoughts. It depends on how much of an audience I can find on YouTube. Only time will tell.

Until then, I encourage those who enjoy this site to keep an eye on Jack’s World. If all goes well, it will become the primary hub from which I share my work with the world.

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New Video In Jack’s World: “F Is For Family: A Perfect Satire For The American Dream”

My new YouTube channel is small, but growing. Shortly after I posted my first video, I began work on my next one. This one is actually an expansion of a piece I wrote a while back on “F is for Family.” With a new season set to debut later this week, I thought the time was right to do a video on the show’s larger themes.

That means more discussion about why Frank Murphy is so angry with the world. It also means more insights into why he threatens to put people through a fucking wall. I hope it’s as awesome as it sounds. Enjoy!

Thanks for watching. Please like and subscribe to my new channel or Frank Murphy will put you through a fucking wall.

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