I’m not a big fan of cold weather. I hope I’ve made that abundantly clear, if only through my fondness of beaches, bikinis, and sleeping naked. I can still manage it for the most part. I don’t mind wearing an extra layer for a few months. It’s not a big deal to me. However, there comes a point where the cold requires more than a light jacket.
As I write this, a polar vortex has descended around my area. Even if you don’t know much about weather, you kind of know what that means. These aren’t just a few days that were extra chilly. I’m now waking up to temperatures that I can count on one hand. There’s only so much coffee, hot chocolate, and whiskey can do to combat that.
These are the darkest parts of winter. It was bound to get worse before it got better. As bad as that can be, there are some silver linings. When it’s this cold out, your cuddling abilities become that much more important. If you’re lucky enough to have a lover by your side, this is the kind of weather where shared body heat is precious.
How you make that body heat is up to you. Your methods may depend on how frisky you’re feeling at that moment. Just do whatever best keeps you warm.
I certainly support the sexier efforts to endure a polar vortex. I don’t have a lover in my life at the moment. I hope that, when I eventually find one, I’ll be much more equipped to navigate times like this. It would certainly be more fun than sleeping under extra blankets every night.
For now, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help warm your spirit, among other things. Enjoy!
“There’s no right way to react to the revelation that someone has been to at least one orgy in their life.”
“True team players should have better sex lives, by default.”
“There’s a non-zero chance that someone was conceived during a song you heard today.”
“In real life, it’s hard for a great love story to not be R-rated at some point.”
“Like it or not, the existence of sluts and studs are a reason why the human race is successful.”
“You have to genuinely try to not be good at cuddling.”
“Ironically, orgasms are both a course of and a coping mechanism for regret.”
I enjoy being around other people who love to laugh.
Personally, I think having a good sense of humor makes someone more attractive, regardless of gender. Making someone laugh is almost as impactful as making them feel loved. However, it often seems like men are expected to be funny whereas a woman being funny is seen as an anomaly.
I honestly don’t understand that. I’ve been around men and women with a lousy sense of humor. I’ve also been around women who are legitimately funny. The girl I dated in college was one of them. She had a dirty mouth and a dirty sense of humor that I appreciated. It also helped she balanced that out with a sweeter, kinder side that I found genuinely attractive.
Over the years, I’ve made other women who funny in their own right. They have wit, charm, and a quirky mind that makes them downright endearing. I know there are those who claim women can never be as funny as men, but I don’t buy that for a second. I think, given all the successful female comedians over the years, that notion needs to die.
I don’t know when or where I’ll meet my future wife. I don’t know what she’ll look like, either. However, I’m fairly confident that she’ll have a good sense of humor. I look forward to laughing with her one day. In the meantime, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to honor all the women out there who make the world a funnier place. Enjoy!
“Making fun of a couple who are too affectionate is like slut shaming a famous porn star.”
“To convince someone that marriage is a sacred institution, you also have to convince them that threesomes are sacrilege.”
“The hornier you are, the less you care about where someone else’s lips have been.”
“Even the most sexually repressed people can’t escape the fact that they’re the result of someone else’s orgasm.”
“Sometimes, having a good relationship depends on how eager you are to give oral sex.”
“One does not simply ask politely for a three-way.”
“When you’re sexually repressed, what you see as porn becomes very skewed.”
Younger generations clash with older generations. The older people are appalled at how the youth are conducting themselves. They see them doing things and behaving in ways that they never would’ve imagined in their youth. It’s not new. In fact, it’s been happening since ancient times in some form or another.
It’s especially pronounced when sex enters the equation. Older people don’t like thinking about their kids having sex and young people don’t like thinking about their grandparents having sex. We know it happens. There are over 7 billion humans on this planet. It happens a lot. It just makes us both very uncomfortable.
From discomfort comes assumptions and from assumptions come irrational fears. It’s not always overt, but it’s present in popular perceptions. Personally, I’ve never heard someone over the age of 60 claim that young people today are far more responsible in managing their sexual behavior. I doubt anyone in that age group could say that with a straight face.
However, that’s not what actual, verifiable data says. According to recent research in Psychological Science, young people today are more responsible than ever when it comes to making decisions about their sex lives.
We examined risky sexual choice under the lens of rational decision-making. Participants (N = 257) completed a novel sexual-choice task in which they selected from among hypothetical sexual partners varying in physical attractiveness and in the probability that one would contract a sexually transmitted infection (STI) from a one-time sexual encounter with them. We found that nearly all participants evaluated the sexual-choice alternatives in a coherent fashion consistent with utility-based theories of rational choice. In subsequent analyses, we classified participants’ responses according to whether their sexual preferences were based on maximizing attractiveness or minimizing the risk of STIs. Finally, we established an association between sexual choice in our task and reported real-world sexual risk-taking.
It doesn’t just stop with responsible choices, either. There has been a relatively consistent trend over the past 40 years. Sexual activity, as a whole, has been going down, so much so that it’s a demographic concern. That has corresponded with a decline in teen pregnancy, abortion, and unwanted pregnancy.
That’s not to say there aren’t irresponsible young people in this world. There certainly are. I’ve known quite a few. Most people have. It’s just not this big, decadent trend. Cable news and popular media love to paint young people as these strange, tradition-hating deviants who seek to destroy our most precious institutions. They are simply wrong.
They’re also trying to sell you a bullshit narrative to get ratings, but that’s another story.
Even in matters not exclusive to sex, older generations still try to find ways to criticize these crazy young people. It’s become more popular in recent years to call anyone under 30 a cohort of over-confident narcissists. Some go so far as to say there’s a narcissism epidemic.
‘Somebody high in self-esteem values individual achievement, but they also value their relationships and caring for others,’ she says. ‘Narcissists are missing that piece about valuing, caring and their relationships, so they tend to lack empathy, they have poor relationship skills. That’s one of the biggest differences, those communal and caring traits tend to be high in most people with self-esteem but not among those who are high in narcissism.’
Again, this is a flawed and incomplete narrative. It’s also incompatible with with the notion that young people are somehow more decadent sexually. Among the key traits of narcissism is promiscuity and it’s not just related to the sexual kind.
It’s hard to be narcissistic and responsible for the same reason it’s hard to be relaxed and enraged. The human psyche just doesn’t work like that. Society, as a whole, doesn’t work like that either. It can’t. If young people really were as decadent and narcissistic as old people thought, then our civilization never would’ve made it this far.
The reason I bring it up now is because this is one of those years when we should all re-assess our perspectives. The grim events of this past year have affected everybody, young and old. It’s affected our society, our emotions, and our sex lives. A lot will change as a result of this year. Generations afterwards will feel it.
As someone who will one day become old and cranky, I hope to maintain a healthy perspective regardless of what happens. I don’t doubt that when I get to a certain age, I’ll see young people behaving in ways that I find shocking. Some of those shocking ways might involve their sex lives. If I ever have kids, that’s going to concern me.
At the same time, I imagine that part of me will envy those young people for having the time, energy, and passions to behave in such ways. On some levels, I think many older people share those feelings. Their youth is a memory. The days of breaking traditions and upsetting their elders is long gone because they’re not elder. It’s just part of life.
We can’t avoid it, at least not yet. I don’t know what kind of state the world will be in by the time I turn 60. I just know I’ll have plenty to complain about. The fact that young people are bucking those complaints gives me hope that it’ll be better than any false perception.
When it comes to romance, setting the mood is critical. That’s not just true for cheesy romance movies or novels. It’s every bit as critical in real life. Without the right mood, it’s harder to make a romantic moment all that sexy. It’s not impossible, but it is just harder.
That’s where scented candles come into the mix. Now, I’m not talking about aromatherapy here. That stuff is mostly a scam. You don’t need to overspend on fancy candles imported from Milan. With the right setup, even the cheap stuff you buy at Walmart can work. You just have to be creative, as well as romantic.
The scented parts are also important. If your lover doesn’t like the smell of peppermint, pumpkin, or ginseng, don’t get candles that smell like that. Those will kill the mood, even if the visuals are perfect. Try and find what kind of scents put your lover at ease. What do they find relaxing, pleasant, or soothing? Trust me, if it’s a scent, there’s likely a candle for it.
It may seem cheesy, but when the moment is right, you’ll know the difference. Whether you’re in a new relationship or you’ve been married for four decades, this is the sort of thing that shows you’ve got a romantic side. It shows you care about making the extra effort. That, in and of itself, can be a powerful romantic gesture.
It’s a new year and it’s the middle of winter. A lot of us are still stuck inside. If that’s going to be the case, let’s find a way to be romantic. Some scented candles will go a long way towards that end. As you contemplate your setup, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to inspire you. Enjoy!
“A friend who gets you laid is a true friend, indeed.”
“A man’s will-power is directly proportional to his ability to refuse a blowjob.”
“To some extent, a thong is just a poor censor bar for your butt and genitals.”
“It’s always easier to negotiate with someone who’s very horny.”
“A dirty mind knows not to question someone who owns multiple dog leashes and no dog.”
“A man is only secure in his relationship if he accepts that his girlfriend’s dildo will always be bigger than his penis.”
“Insecurity is never sexy and overcompensating for insecurity is pathetic, but it can still get you laid.”
We made it through 2020 and 2021 is finally here. Let’s all take a step back, take a deep breath, and share in a collective orgasmic relief. It doesn’t matter how much strange noise you make. It doesn’t matter if the neighbors give you strange looks. It’s worth it because 2020 is over.
Last year sucked an entire multiverse of dicks. Let’s not forget that. In a single year, so many things we loved and cherished were disrupted, destroyed, or undermined. Our souls and spirits were crushed at multiple turns, especially if you were a health care worker, a doctor, or a New York Jets fan.
Despite all that, we made it through. We survived one of the worst years we’ve had in generations. Now, 2021 is here and we can start building towards something better. We already have the tools, thanks to the same doctors and front line health care workers who suffered the worst of 2020. We just need to put in the work to make use of them.
It won’t be easy, but the bar for improvement is so low at this point. Why not shoot for something greater? There’s a good chance the first part of this year will still suck, just because 2020 left that big an impact. However, we still have the opportunity to guide it in the right direction.
By this time next year, we will be in a better place. I believe that. I hope others believe it too. I know we’re all still wounded from last year, but I’m ready to put in the work. Here are some of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help those ready to share in that effort. Enjoy!
“These days, telling someone how fast their internet connection is should count as flirting.”
“A man’s mood is closely linked to the kind of porn he watches.”
“Buying sex just takes money, but getting free sex takes talent, skill, and charisma.”
“Any woman who willingly has sex after having given birth has to be a masochist on some level.”
“Contrary to what football fans say, a dick-measuring contest is the only true game of inches.”
“With the right looks, you can be an untalented stripper and still be successful.”
“Anyone who thinks they need blowjob lessons is overthinking blowjobs, in general.”
I hope everyone had a wonderful, festive Christmas this year. Relatively speaking, that is.
I know that’s a given after a year like 2020. What constitutes a good day, a good month, or a good holiday, in general, is bound to be horribly skewed. There’s just no way around it. That’s what happens when you endure a once-in-a-century pandemic that ruins everything from movies to sports to the simple act of going to a restaurant.
Even so, we should not let that undermine our holiday spirit. We cannot let something that awful keep us from sharing in the joys of the season. I like to think we’re stronger than that. I know that’s easy to say as someone who isn’t sick and who’s family members aren’t sick. That’s exactly why it needs to be said.
There are a lot of families this year whose holiday plans were mired by complications, disruptions, and tragedy. Mine certainly were different. The large family gatherings and the extensive traveling that I usually do on the holidays just couldn’t happen. That didn’t stop us from sharing in the spirit. We just had to share it through Zoom and video chats. It wasn’t the same, but it was better than nothing.
I hope everyone found a way to share in the spirit of Christmas. I hope everyone still finds the energy and strength to enjoy New Years, as well. Better days are coming. Even though we had to temper our celebrations this year, the holidays should give us hope for the future.
I’ll certainly try my best to mend my broken spirit after this year. I doubt it’ll be easy, but I’ll make the effort. As part of that effort, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help keep the holiday spirit alive for the rest of the season. Enjoy!
“If love is divine, then orgasms are miracles.”
“Touch someone’s heart and a shortcut to their genitals will appear.”
“A penis is like a bee bee gun in that it takes effort to make it work, but someone with skill makes every shot count.”
“Leaving your door unlocked is less dangerous than leaving your porn stash unhidden.”
“It’s good to open your heart to others, but it’s wise to be selective when opening your legs.”
“When you think about it, thrill sex could only be so thrilling in the days before cameras.”
“Like it or not, every social situation has a non-zero chance of someone making you horny.”
Christmas is almost here. Whether you’re a little kid or a full-grown adult, it’s approaching fast and we should prepare accordingly. Now, I’ve made no secret of my passion for the holidays. I had my tree up the day after Halloween. I also had my Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving. It’s not just about being proactive. I just love embracing the holidays sooner than most.
For some, wrapping gifts is just part of the holiday process. Some even see it as tedious and laborious, especially if your gifts don’t easily fit into boxes. However, I honestly love wrapping gifts. I don’t know if I’m just weird or if that’s just an extension of my love for the holidays. I genuinely enjoy wrapping presents.
One of my favorite personal traditions involves putting on a Christmas movie, laying all my wrapping gear in the middle of my living room, and just proceed with wrapping every gift I can. It’s just one of those things that fills me with a special kind of joy.
I also believe that your willingness to wrap a gift helps make it more personal. It shows the people you love that you really put time and effort into getting this gift for them. That sends a message that’s every bit as meaningful as the gift itself.
I know not everyone feels this way about gift wrapping. At the same time, I think it plays a major role in the holiday aesthetics. You have Christmas trees, lights, decorations, and holiday specials. You also have wrapped Christmas gifts. Together, it’s just a perfect picture of the holidays and it’s worth celebrating.
Here are some of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help contribute to that celebration. Enjoy!
“Being in love and horny at the same time is a potent combination.”
“Like it or not, anything that gives men erections is going to be scrutinized, commodified, or celebrated.”
“Every time you open a door, there’s a non-zero chance you’ll walk in on someone having sex.”
“Depending on the situation, being a sexy virgin is either an accomplishment or a tragedy.”
“Porn is basically candy for our genitals.”
“Urging women to not be sluts requires that you convince them to have fewer orgasms.”
“You’re either homophobic or horny if you’re extra careful when sucking on a popsicle.”
Every now and then, a story comes along that is just so absurd, so outrageous, and so appropriately hilarious that you can’t help but feel glad to be alive. The only thing that makes it better is when the story involves powerful people being exposed as hypocrites in the most embarrassing way possible.
Even in a year as bad as 2020, those stories are still uniquely enjoyable. I would argue we need them now more than ever.
That’s exactly why I have to thank Jozsef Szajer, a Hungarian politician you’ve never heard of, but will never forget after this story. Recently, he just raised the bar for hilarity, hypocrisy, and sheer absurdity.
You don’t need to know much about Mr. Szajer’s politics. You just need to know he’s vehemently anti-LGBTQ and has campaigned against it for years. Usually, when someone is that vocal about LGBTQ issues, that raises some red flags. Just ask Ted Haggard.
Well, after this, I think it’s safe to say that Mr. Szajer has risen the bar. Rather than simply paraphrase the sordid details, I’ll let the headline from the Irish Post do the talking.
What’s the difference between confidence and bravado? They’re often used interchangeably, but they don’t mean exactly the same thing. One has a certain connotation. The other is a more general term.
There’s nothing too special about having confidence. Most people with even a shred of self-esteem have some amount of confidence. Even if you’re a depressed cynic on the level of Daria Morgandorffer, you have to have some confidence that your heart will continue to beat and the world will continue to spin.
Bravado is something more distinct. It’s a special kind of confidence in the same way diamonds are special kind of carbon. Having bravado is the kind of thing that separates an average man from James Bond. It’s not enough to just be confident in yourself. You also have to have actual ability.
Some people think they have that kind of ability. Most of the time, that’s just false bravado. That’s less James Bond and more the villains he defeats. True bravado is a potent mix of both confidence and ability. If you do what you do with both confidence and skill, then that’s one of the most attractive qualities you can have.
Whether you’re a man, woman, or something in between, bravado can help you stand out for all the right reasons. It can make you unique, attractive, and more interesting than anyone else. It’s not easy to gain, but that’s exactly what makes it so valuable. Please take those lessons to heart as you enjoy another entry of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!
“Technically, romantic tension can’t function without some degree of horniness.”
“You can only be so romantic when you’re really horny.”
“How much do you trust someone who says they’ve never watched porn?”
“If a crazy stunt gets you laid, does it still count as crazy?”
“Pursuing love means finding someone willing to regularly get naked with you.”
“A whore is just a slut with better business savvy.”
“Great love stories often come from those who are lonely, horny, or both.”
At the same time, I don’t deny that not every adult is capable and not every child is ignorant. I’ve known people over 40 who have the maturity level of a 15-year-old. I’ve also known kids who are more mature than people twice their age. Everybody is different in terms of how and to what extent they mature. Some can handle adult situations better than others.
That brings me to strippers. I’m sure I have your attention now.
I bring it up because, this past year, a few strip club owners have been making waves in the news. Specifically, they’ve been protesting a law in Jacksonville from February 2020 that changes the minimum permissible age for a stripper from 18 to 21. That contrasts from many other jurisdictions, in which the minimum age is 18.
However, as what happened with the legal drinking age, this has become somewhat of a legal trend. Other jurisdictions have been seeking to raise the age limit, as well. They’re often met with protests, but so far the limits have been upheld. That may change with this case, as reported by AP News.
A lawyer representing 13 clubs and four dancers in Jacksonville argued before a federal judge that dancing is a form of expression protected under the First Amendment.
“This is just a ban on speech,” attorney Gary Edinger said.
The city law currently bans dancers under the age of 21 and was passed in an effort to reduce sex trafficking. The measure also requires dancer to have ID city-issued cards.
City attorneys said younger people are more susceptible to the coercion that’s often part of trafficking and argued that 21 is a safer age.
Now, set aside your feelings towards strip clubs for a moment. As someone who has been to more than a few and had a genuinely good time, I’ll make that effort too. I understand that, being a man, my perspective is going to be skewed. I still think it’s a relevant issue. Beyond the titillating undertones, there’s a bigger picture here worth considering.
It goes back to the questions I raised earlier about when someone becomes a legal adult. For much of the United States, reaching age 18 is often seen as a major milestone. It’s the age when you can become legally emancipated, which permits you to do all sorts of things like buy a car, buy a place of your own, and sign a contract.
What is it about that age that is so special? Legally speaking, it’s fairly arbitrary. We, as a society, just agreed that most people when they reach this age are mature enough to handle adult responsibilities. Sure, some take longer than others. Some reach that point before that age. It’s an imperfect judgement for an imperfect society.
However, we do make some exceptions, as we did with alcohol. Now, I don’t know if that exception is warranted. When I was in high school, I knew plenty of people under the age of 21 who drank regularly. Most were fairly responsible. A few couldn’t handle it. They’re just lucky Instagram wasn’t around back then.
If that exception is so flimsy, then what makes 21 better than 18 when it comes to strippers? We’re not talking about ingesting a substance that can kill you if taken in large quantities. We’re talking about people being allowed to show off their sexy bodies for willing customers. What’s the justification for raising the age requirements just three years?
The lawyers say that it’s a means of combating human trafficking. That’s a perfectly respectable effort, but one that is often misused and abused to attack the sex industry, as a whole. It can also be very counterproductive, as I’ve noted before. I can’t find any evidence at how raising the minimum affects human trafficking, but I doubt the lawyers involved in this case need it to win the argument.
You’ll never lose political points for saying you’re against human trafficking. The problem is when your efforts are largely symbolic or arbitrary, the results will lack substance.
Beyond this shallow justification, it’s also inconsistent. How can we explain to a legal adult that 18 is not old enough to allow them to strip for money? At 18, you can legally skydive, give blood, and join the military. All three of those activities come with dangers, but we let 18-year-olds consent to doing them. So, why do we make an exception for stripping?
Again, I’m not a lawyer, but I have a hard time justifying that exception. I’ve heard coherent arguments about the drinking age being 21. I’ve yet to hear a coherent argument about making the minimum stripper age 21.
Just saying it’ll help combat human trafficking isn’t enough. I’d like to see some evidence of that. I’d also like to understand why it’s still legal for an 18-year-old to have consensual sex, but they need to wait another three years before they can get naked for money. That just too arbitrary and inconsistent.
I understand age limits will always be arbitrary to some extent. I also understand that people get very uncomfortable when it comes to sex, nudity, and the people who do it for a living. We can never stop people from being horny or doing sexy things for money. We should have some reasonable regulations in place to govern that sort of thing. My question here is simple. Is raising the age requirements for strippers to 21 reasonable? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments.