Tag Archives: humor

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Nerd Girl Edition


I love comics, video games, and superhero movies. Two decades ago, I would’ve been labeled a nerd or a geek for admitting that out loud. Go back a few more decades and there wasn’t just a stigma to it. There was a full-blown moral panic that’s almost too absurd to put into words.

Then, superhero movies began making billions at the box office. Say what you will about the genre, and plenty have, but nothing makes that much money without having a wide appeal to a wide variety of people. Among those people are the sexy nerd girls and, having dated at least one in the past, they have a special place in my heart.

These days, girls who admit to liking the same things as boys is still somewhat taboo, but there was a time when it was downright surprising. There was this one girl in middle school I knew who loved all things Nintendo. She could talk for hours about Nintendo games and Nintendo characters. If you just saw a picture of her, you probably wouldn’t have guessed that as being her passion.

She was a fun girl to hang out with. I’ve met other girls like her. They carry themselves with a special kind of sex appeal that any nerdy guy can appreciate. They completely counter the idea that being nerdy means having no sex appeal. For that, they have a special place in my heart and are deserving of some Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!

“Thinking things through may save lives, but acting on impulses creates them.”

“Having a lover enjoys rough sex also tends to reveal how out of shape you are.”

“Whoever first developed a spanking fetish must have had confused parents.”

“Broken hearts take an emotional toll, but broken condoms take a financial toll.”

“When you think about it, a refractory period is basically your genitals on low battery.”

“It’s very likely that ideas on why women fake orgasms led to the first conspiracy theories.”

“Practically speaking, whoever said variety was the spice of life was probably a slut.”

To all the sexy nerd girls out there who blend their sexiness with their nerdiness, I sincerely thank you. I know it’s not easy participating in these things that are primarily dominated by men, some of which are socially awkward. Trust me when I say that your presence makes things better.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Perfect Marriage Proposal Edition


A marriage proposal usually the climatic moment of a blossoming romance. It’s the core ingredient for a happy ending in a fairy tale. It’s also glorified, commercialized, and idealized in the minds of romantics and marketing executives who sell diamond rings. That doesn’t take away from its romantic essence.

Now, I’m not married yet. I’m currently single and have been for quite a while now. However, I recently had a close family member of mine get engaged in a way that triggered every one of my romantic sentiments. It was beautiful. I saw the pictures and recounted the moment. I’m not going to lie. I almost overdosed on feels and joy.

Out of respect for my family’s privacy, I won’t share too many personal details. I just know that any close family member who reads this knows who I’m referring to. That proposal is a big deal for our family. For the next several months, we’ll be planning a wedding for the ages and I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say about it along the way.

In the meantime, I’d like to dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the apex of romantic gestures. It takes a lot of love, desire, and dedication to propose to someone. It reflects a level of love and commitment that goes beyond basic attraction. Love like that is worth celebrating. It starts with a proposal, but ends with something greater. That inspires more than just sexy thoughts.

“No matter how sexy you are, an adorable pet will always get more foreplay in the long run.”

“A blind date was very likely the first form of gambling and good sex was the first true jackpot.”

“Impressing a woman won’t always turn her on, but it will often guide her towards sexier thoughts.”

“The primary difference between a mistress and a prostitute is mistresses make long-term investments in lieu short-term benefits.”

“For rich people, a prenuptial agreement is tantamount to illicit orgasm insurance.”

“BDSM is the only form of micromanagement that leads to orgasms.”

“If you believe in fate, then can any orgasm ever be premature?”

For those lucky enough to have witnessed or taken part in a marriage proposal, I hope this inspired some fond memories. I hope I can one day have a chance to propose to someone, as well. Until then, I have plenty of eventful moments to look forward to. My family couldn’t be more excited. I share in that excitement and I hope it inspires more than just sexy thoughts in the long run.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: NFL Kickoff 2019 Edition


Are you ready for some football? Get used to that question because we’ll be hearing that question at least once a week for the rest of the year, often in conjunction with Hank Williams’ music. That’s because the 2019 NFL season is finally here! As a lifelong football fan who builds his Sundays around watching football, I couldn’t be happier.

To some, this is that magical time of year in which every team is tied and each has a chance to make the Super Bowl. To others, it’s that time of year where people yell at the TV more than they should and stay up way too late on Monday nights. I know football has its critics and its detractors, but there’s no denying it’s significance here in America, especially this time of year.

I’ve already given my picks as to who I think will hoist the Lombardi Trophy this year. Chances are I’m wrong. The only certainty at the beginning of an NFL season is that nobody knows how it’s going to play out. That’s part of what makes it so thrilling. There are so many crazy things that can happen. Where else can you see a lanky sixth round draft pick go onto become the greatest of all time?

I look forward to another eventful, dramatic season. I’ve already stocked up on beer, nachos, and pizza. To answer Mr. Williams’ iconic question, I am ready for some football and I hope these Sexy Sunday Thoughts get everyone else ready as well. Enjoy!

“Whoever said time flies when you’re having fun probably suffered from premature ejaculation.”

“It is possible to have too much sex, but it’s considerably harder to have too much foreplay.”

“Sunsets are more romantic because they’re less associated with hangovers.”

“For a narcissist, almost every sex act is a form of masturbation.”

“Setting the mood is much easier when you have a lover with a dirty mind.”

“Anyone can make love in good weather, but it takes a special passion to make love in the middle of a storm.”

“Technically, wet dreams were the first instance of free porn.”

The end of summer means many things to many people. As a kid, it always meant going back to school, which I hated. As an adult, however, it has gained a very different meaning and the start of football season is a big part of that. I’m excited about the season and I’m looking forward to some very eventful Sunday afternoons. My only hope is to one day find a beautiful woman that I can share them with.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Labor Day 2019 Edition

sexy woman in work overalls with a wrench

Some holidays are cherished solely because they mean getting a day off work or school. There’s no elaborate decorations, gift exchanges, or social rituals. It’s just a day in which society collectively decides is a holiday. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m all for having an extra day off work or school, but sometimes it undercuts the greater intent behind a holiday.

For many people, Labor Day is just some arbitrary holiday. However, it does have a noteworthy history here in the United States. As a kid, I certainly didn’t appreciate it. To me, Labor Day was just the day before I had to go back to school. Then, I became an adult and learned why this day became a holiday in the first place. In that sense, I’ve come to appreciate it more.

People work hard. Whether it’s to improve their lives or keep society going, we all have to do our part to keep this wondrous civilization going. Like all things, there’s a spectrum. It is possible to work too hard and miss out on life. It’s just as possible to work too little and not appreciate what we’ve collectively built as a species. A holiday like Labor Day helps put that into perspective.

It’s not just a day off. It’s a recognition of how far we’ve come, both as a civilization and as a society that values workers. At a time when wealth inequality is expanding all over the world, it’s an important lesson to learn. For that reason, I proudly dedicate this edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the spirit of Labor Day 2019 and all those who work hard to keep this world going. Enjoy!

“From an evolutionary standpoint, oral sex can’t be enjoyable beyond a certain point.”

“Time may heal all wounds and laughter may be the best medicine, but great sex will make you feel the healthiest.”

“The first love poem was probably an elaborate form of flirting that worked exceedingly well.”

“On some levels, dating is investing in a stock in which dividends are paid out in orgasms.”

“Boring sex is like cheap candy in that, even at its lowest quality, it’s still appealing.”

“When it comes to seeking love, your brain is basically the lawyer mediating your heart and genitals.”

“Being a fool for love is not the same as being an idiot trying to get laid.”

Once again, in the spirit of Labor Day, I hope everyone takes a moment to appreciate and respect the role of workers in our society. Without that labor, we literally would not have a society to function. In that sense, we’ve all earned a day off. To those who still have to work today, I sincerely thank you. Hopefully, we all get a chance to enjoy the fruits of our labor. As workers, we’ve earned it.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Manly Musk Edition


Anytime someone mentions men’s body odor, it’s rarely in a positive context. People only ever seem to talk about how men smell when they smell bad. It’s not just women who do it, either. Other men are guilty of this as well. I’m even guilty of it from time to time. I’ve even been accused of going overboard with aftershave on more than one occasion.

It doesn’t change the fact that men have a distinct musk. Put a blindfold on most people and sit them in a room with a smelly person and chances are, they’ll be able to tell whether that person is a man or woman. It’s not just a product of marketing for overpriced aftershave. Musk is a real biological phenomenon and it has real effects, which includes the very sexy kind.

Musk is very distinct from odor. A man who rolls around in cow shit all day is going to have an odor. A man who works hard over the course of the day, earning his keep and providing for his loved ones, is going to have a musk. My dad had one every time he came home from work. I know I have one, especially during the summer months. Friends and ex-girlfriends have told me as such.

A good, manly musk is one of those subtle, yet powerful manifestations of sex appeal that doesn’t get enough credit. I hope that changes over time. When done right, both women and gay men do take notice of a good, manly musk. It helped inspire this batch of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. I hope it inspires more than that. Enjoy!

“Logically speaking, a happy ending also counts as testing orgasmic reflexes.”

“Spicy foods are basically BDSM for your mouth.”

“Is it ever possible to effectively punish a masochist?”

“How someone takes care of their genitals says just as much as how they tend to their lover.”

“Having a good lover is like having a favorite show, but having a good marriage is like having a favorite channel.”

“Does a three-way with twins truly count as a three-way?”

“Technically, rough sex can be a form of tough love.”

Smell is a powerful sense, but one we tend to only think about when something smells either really good or really bad. I’m all for good hygiene and grooming, but I’m also for preserving the more subtle forms of sex appeal. A man can do a lot to make himself sexually appealing. A good musk can and should be part of that noble effort.

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When Is It Okay To Tell Someone To Grow Thicker Skin?


When I was a kid, I played little league baseball. My father also volunteered, being a lover of baseball and an all-around awesome guy. It was fun. I enjoyed it, even though I wasn’t that good. However, I still thought I was better than the majority of the kids on my team. I’d been playing baseball with my dad in the backyard for years. I had developed those skills more than most.

Then, one year, my skills started to slip. In my defense, that was also around the time I developed asthma. I still thought I was good, but there’s only so much you can do with those skills when you’re coughing and wheezing half the time. As a result, my coach had me bat next to last and made me play outfield, which I took as a personal affront.

I know he wasn’t trying to insult me, but I took it very personally. Being a kid, I gave him and everyone around me a bad attitude. When I told my father about this, I thought he would be on my side. Instead, he wasn’t having it. My dad was not the kind of guy who rewarded bad attitudes. No matter how much I told him the coach’s decision upset me, he had the same response.

“Can’t hack it? Get your jacket.”

That became a mantra of his. At the time, I hated it. As I got older, I came to appreciate it. On the surface, it may seem harsh, especially when it’s directed a kid in the context of a little league game. However, it conveys and important lesson while indirectly raising an important question.

When is it okay to tell someone they need to grow thicker skin?

I believe this question is more important now than it ever was when I was a kid playing little league baseball. With the rise of outrage culture and numerous controversies on issues that rarely warrant controversy, I feel as though my father’s wise advice is more relevant than ever.

That said, answering this question isn’t simple. I know it’s tempting for anyone annoyed by political correctness to just brush off outrage as coming from thin-skinned, over-coddled snowflakes. That is, after all, a popular perception among the most vocal critics of outrage culture. However, that recourse ignores some important caveats.

It’s one thing to tell an over-privileged college student majoring in underwater basket weaving that they need to grow thicker skin. It’s quite another to say the same thing to a wounded veteran or a rape survivor. Make no mistake. Those over-privileged professional whiners exist and they deserve both criticism and scorn. They’re still the extreme cases. Most people operate in that vast area between extremes.

To illustrate, consider the following example. You’re on a stage telling a story in front of a large group of people. The story isn’t political, nor is it an attempt to convince someone of a particular worldview. The story contains some difficult themes, including references to graphic violence, sexual abuse, and racism. It doesn’t have to be based on real events. Those themes just have to be sufficiently graphic.

After you’re done telling the story, a small segment of the audience comes up to you and tells you they found your story to be deeply offensive. They claim that the simple act of you telling a story caused them real psychological harm. How do you respond to them?

For some people, their first inclination will be to apologize to them and everyone else who felt offended. This is often the first recourse for any celebrity who tends to make a public gaff, of sorts. It’s an easy option and, at the very least, will mitigate some of the outrage, but it has the added effect of derailing serious discussions.

For others, the first inclination will be to brush off those who are offended and tell them to grow thicker skin. There are certain individuals who make this their primary response. They tend to be less concerned about hurting peoples’ feelings and often criticize those who are easily offended. While that may be warranted in some instances, it can often come off as callous. In some cases, it devolves into outright trolling.

Whatever the recourse, both responses have the same flaw. They ignore the actual substance behind those who took offense to the story. It generalizes the nature of the harm they claim to have endured. It essentially lumps the offense that some thin-skinned college kid feels with that of someone who has legitimate issues.

Without those insights, any apology or lack of apology will make light of any genuine offense someone endures. Those details are necessary in determining who needs to grow thicker skin and who deserves a sincere apology. In essence, the right response is determined on a case-by-case basis and that can get both tricky and cumbersome.

Say one of the audience members took offense because they felt the story glorified the current and historical oppression of women by way of patriarchal traditions. Someone harmed by anything that vague definitely needs to grow thicker skin.

Say one of the audience members took offense because they’re struggling with a legitimate mental illness and parts of the story caused them significant distress that required medical intervention. In that case, telling them to grow thicker skin isn’t just insensitive. It’s downright malicious. People with legitimate medical issues can only do so much to manage their reactions.

It can get a lot more complicated. One of the audience members may have endured a real trauma in their lives and while they’re not on medications, they’re still struggling and hearing the story opened some unhealed wounds. In this instance, an apology is warranted, but only in the context of acknowledging someone’s real-world issues. You can’t tell them to grow thicker skin, but you can encourage them to heal.

Maybe there’s another audience member who just says the story was patently offensive and is too heavy on outdated stereotypes. They’ll angrily rant at how certain elements denigrated their heritage, their culture, and their race. It’s not just that the story was offensive. They believe anyone who tells it is as bad as those who made it. This person may be sincere, but they could also benefit from growing thicker skin.

There are any number of ways someone can claim offense. Some are legitimate, but most are contrived. As a general rule, any offense that requires someone to be offended on behalf of other people is questionable at best and insincere at worst. It tends to happen whenever people try to make broad claims about cultural appropriation or stereotypes.

Even if certain generalizations about cultures are legitimate and certain stereotypes have a basis in fact, the offense is still taken personally. The very fact that it exists is an affront. That’s usually another sign that thicker skin is at least part of the solution. It’s one thing to abhor racist acts. It’s quite another to abhor that it exists at all.

Everyone is wired differently. Some are just more easily-offended than others. That’s an inescapable fact of life in world that’s diverse and has the technology to over-react to anything that anyone may say. Even with those caveats, it certainly helps to discern those who suffer real harm from certain rhetoric and those who really need to grow thicker skin.

There are some criteria that can help us make that determination. It may not help in every case, but here are just a few.

If someone is offended by the fact that something exists, then they need to grow thicker skin.

If someone is offended by mere opinions of other people, then they need to grow thicker skin.

If someone is offended on behalf of an entire group, then they need to grow thicker skin.

If someone is offended because other people can’t know the specifics of what offends them without reading their mind, then they need to grow thicker skin.

If someone is offended by something that was not intended to offend or harm, then they need to grow thicker skin.

Again, these are just general guidelines and there are certainly exceptions to many. However, if we apply these standards to my story as an upset little leaguer who took offense to his coach’s decisions, then my father’s reaction would be appropriate. In that situation, someone is right to tell me that I should grow thicker skin. Moreover, I became stronger and more mature as a result.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Legs Edition


There are many parts of the human body that have sexual connotations. Some are more obvious than others. Most people don’t need detailed psychological insight to understand why straight men are attracted to female breasts or why straight women are attracted to men with a toned ass. These desires are hardwired into us. What varies is the intensity of that desire, as well as the focus.

When it comes to legs, both men and women have a good biological incentive to find them sexy. Sexy legs in a woman denote good health and prospective child-rearing. Sexy legs in a man denote good health and an ability to do some heavy lifting around the house. These are sexy qualities that go beyond the act of lovemaking and they have a place in the sexual road map.

On top of that, it’s the middle of summer. This is the time of year where everyone gets to show off their legs. You don’t have to be wearing a swimsuit at the beach. It’s hot outside and wearing long pants just isn’t practical. For those who want to show off their legs, this is the time of year to do it.

It’s why I dedicate a little extra time in my workout to legs over the summer. It’s also why we put a little extra care into your legs this time of year. This edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is my way of encouraging everyone with sexy legs to celebrate their sex appeal while the weather permits it. We all have legs. Why not make them sexy? Enjoy!

“Statistically, it’s a near certainty that someone you know is into something kinky.”

“Good location is as important to real estate as romantic ambiance is to making love.”

“Gold diggers are just prostitutes who play the long game and have good divorce lawyers.”

“The odds of winning the lottery are comparable to the odds that sending a woman a dick pic will result in sex.”

“In this day and age, a couple sharing wi-fi passwords counts as a form of intimacy.”

“Closing the orgasm gap between men and women won’t achieve world peace, but it’ll make peace seem less daunting.”

“To some extent, a family reunion is a celebration of a specific lineage of orgasms.”

I hope that gave everyone, regardless of gender, yet another reason to not skip leg day in the gym. There’s only so much we can do to make certain parts of our body sexy. With legs, there are plenty of options. Strong, sexy legs are one of those traits that have plenty of use beyond the sexy stuff. When you’ve got strength and tone to go with them, it’s just a nice bonus.

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