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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Nerd Girl Edition

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I love comics, video games, and superhero movies. Two decades ago, I would’ve been labeled a nerd or a geek for admitting that out loud. Go back a few more decades and there wasn’t just a stigma to it. There was a full-blown moral panic that’s almost too absurd to put into words.

Then, superhero movies began making billions at the box office. Say what you will about the genre, and plenty have, but nothing makes that much money without having a wide appeal to a wide variety of people. Among those people are the sexy nerd girls and, having dated at least one in the past, they have a special place in my heart.

These days, girls who admit to liking the same things as boys is still somewhat taboo, but there was a time when it was downright surprising. There was this one girl in middle school I knew who loved all things Nintendo. She could talk for hours about Nintendo games and Nintendo characters. If you just saw a picture of her, you probably wouldn’t have guessed that as being her passion.

She was a fun girl to hang out with. I’ve met other girls like her. They carry themselves with a special kind of sex appeal that any nerdy guy can appreciate. They completely counter the idea that being nerdy means having no sex appeal. For that, they have a special place in my heart and are deserving of some Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!


“Thinking things through may save lives, but acting on impulses creates them.”


“Having a lover enjoys rough sex also tends to reveal how out of shape you are.”


“Whoever first developed a spanking fetish must have had confused parents.”


“Broken hearts take an emotional toll, but broken condoms take a financial toll.”


“When you think about it, a refractory period is basically your genitals on low battery.”


“It’s very likely that ideas on why women fake orgasms led to the first conspiracy theories.”


“Practically speaking, whoever said variety was the spice of life was probably a slut.”


To all the sexy nerd girls out there who blend their sexiness with their nerdiness, I sincerely thank you. I know it’s not easy participating in these things that are primarily dominated by men, some of which are socially awkward. Trust me when I say that your presence makes things better.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Perfect Marriage Proposal Edition

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A marriage proposal usually the climatic moment of a blossoming romance. It’s the core ingredient for a happy ending in a fairy tale. It’s also glorified, commercialized, and idealized in the minds of romantics and marketing executives who sell diamond rings. That doesn’t take away from its romantic essence.

Now, I’m not married yet. I’m currently single and have been for quite a while now. However, I recently had a close family member of mine get engaged in a way that triggered every one of my romantic sentiments. It was beautiful. I saw the pictures and recounted the moment. I’m not going to lie. I almost overdosed on feels and joy.

Out of respect for my family’s privacy, I won’t share too many personal details. I just know that any close family member who reads this knows who I’m referring to. That proposal is a big deal for our family. For the next several months, we’ll be planning a wedding for the ages and I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say about it along the way.

In the meantime, I’d like to dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the apex of romantic gestures. It takes a lot of love, desire, and dedication to propose to someone. It reflects a level of love and commitment that goes beyond basic attraction. Love like that is worth celebrating. It starts with a proposal, but ends with something greater. That inspires more than just sexy thoughts.


“No matter how sexy you are, an adorable pet will always get more foreplay in the long run.”


“A blind date was very likely the first form of gambling and good sex was the first true jackpot.”


“Impressing a woman won’t always turn her on, but it will often guide her towards sexier thoughts.”


“The primary difference between a mistress and a prostitute is mistresses make long-term investments in lieu short-term benefits.”


“For rich people, a prenuptial agreement is tantamount to illicit orgasm insurance.”


“BDSM is the only form of micromanagement that leads to orgasms.”


“If you believe in fate, then can any orgasm ever be premature?”


For those lucky enough to have witnessed or taken part in a marriage proposal, I hope this inspired some fond memories. I hope I can one day have a chance to propose to someone, as well. Until then, I have plenty of eventful moments to look forward to. My family couldn’t be more excited. I share in that excitement and I hope it inspires more than just sexy thoughts in the long run.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: NFL Kickoff 2019 Edition

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Are you ready for some football? Get used to that question because we’ll be hearing that question at least once a week for the rest of the year, often in conjunction with Hank Williams’ music. That’s because the 2019 NFL season is finally here! As a lifelong football fan who builds his Sundays around watching football, I couldn’t be happier.

To some, this is that magical time of year in which every team is tied and each has a chance to make the Super Bowl. To others, it’s that time of year where people yell at the TV more than they should and stay up way too late on Monday nights. I know football has its critics and its detractors, but there’s no denying it’s significance here in America, especially this time of year.

I’ve already given my picks as to who I think will hoist the Lombardi Trophy this year. Chances are I’m wrong. The only certainty at the beginning of an NFL season is that nobody knows how it’s going to play out. That’s part of what makes it so thrilling. There are so many crazy things that can happen. Where else can you see a lanky sixth round draft pick go onto become the greatest of all time?

I look forward to another eventful, dramatic season. I’ve already stocked up on beer, nachos, and pizza. To answer Mr. Williams’ iconic question, I am ready for some football and I hope these Sexy Sunday Thoughts get everyone else ready as well. Enjoy!


“Whoever said time flies when you’re having fun probably suffered from premature ejaculation.”


“It is possible to have too much sex, but it’s considerably harder to have too much foreplay.”


“Sunsets are more romantic because they’re less associated with hangovers.”


“For a narcissist, almost every sex act is a form of masturbation.”


“Setting the mood is much easier when you have a lover with a dirty mind.”


“Anyone can make love in good weather, but it takes a special passion to make love in the middle of a storm.”


“Technically, wet dreams were the first instance of free porn.”


The end of summer means many things to many people. As a kid, it always meant going back to school, which I hated. As an adult, however, it has gained a very different meaning and the start of football season is a big part of that. I’m excited about the season and I’m looking forward to some very eventful Sunday afternoons. My only hope is to one day find a beautiful woman that I can share them with.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Labor Day 2019 Edition

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Some holidays are cherished solely because they mean getting a day off work or school. There’s no elaborate decorations, gift exchanges, or social rituals. It’s just a day in which society collectively decides is a holiday. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m all for having an extra day off work or school, but sometimes it undercuts the greater intent behind a holiday.

For many people, Labor Day is just some arbitrary holiday. However, it does have a noteworthy history here in the United States. As a kid, I certainly didn’t appreciate it. To me, Labor Day was just the day before I had to go back to school. Then, I became an adult and learned why this day became a holiday in the first place. In that sense, I’ve come to appreciate it more.

People work hard. Whether it’s to improve their lives or keep society going, we all have to do our part to keep this wondrous civilization going. Like all things, there’s a spectrum. It is possible to work too hard and miss out on life. It’s just as possible to work too little and not appreciate what we’ve collectively built as a species. A holiday like Labor Day helps put that into perspective.

It’s not just a day off. It’s a recognition of how far we’ve come, both as a civilization and as a society that values workers. At a time when wealth inequality is expanding all over the world, it’s an important lesson to learn. For that reason, I proudly dedicate this edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the spirit of Labor Day 2019 and all those who work hard to keep this world going. Enjoy!


“From an evolutionary standpoint, oral sex can’t be enjoyable beyond a certain point.”


“Time may heal all wounds and laughter may be the best medicine, but great sex will make you feel the healthiest.”


“The first love poem was probably an elaborate form of flirting that worked exceedingly well.”


“On some levels, dating is investing in a stock in which dividends are paid out in orgasms.”


“Boring sex is like cheap candy in that, even at its lowest quality, it’s still appealing.”


“When it comes to seeking love, your brain is basically the lawyer mediating your heart and genitals.”


“Being a fool for love is not the same as being an idiot trying to get laid.”


Once again, in the spirit of Labor Day, I hope everyone takes a moment to appreciate and respect the role of workers in our society. Without that labor, we literally would not have a society to function. In that sense, we’ve all earned a day off. To those who still have to work today, I sincerely thank you. Hopefully, we all get a chance to enjoy the fruits of our labor. As workers, we’ve earned it.

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Five Terrible Life Lessons I Learned From Sitcoms

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As a kid, I loved cartoons and comics. I think I’ve made my love of superhero comics abundantly clear on multiple occasions. However, I had other guilty pleasures as a kid that weren’t as common. Among those pleasures were sitcoms.

I’m not just referring to the popular or iconic ones, either. There was a time in my life where I would literally watch any sitcom that happened to be on TV at the moment. It didn’t matter if the premise was stupid. I still watched and I still enjoyed it. I certainly have my favorites. “Married With Children” and “Malcom in the Middle” are near the top of that list.

A big part of that love came from how I consumed them. My awesome mother also enjoyed sitcoms. I often watched them with her. She even let me watch sitcoms with themes that weren’t exactly kid friendly. That didn’t stop us from laughing hysterically at episodes of “Seinfeld” together. Those were good times.

As fun as they were, I also feel like I gleaned some less-than-helpful lessons from those shows. Unlike cartoons or kids shows, sitcoms involve real people who deal with real situations. I wasn’t the smartest kid, but I knew a show that involved superheroes, killer robots, and talking turtles was wholly unrealistic. Most kids with functional brains know that.

Sitcoms were a bit trickier. When the people are real and the scenarios look real, your inexperienced can’t always make sense of it. Even as an adult, the message of a sitcom can become muddled, even if it’s not based on a ridiculous premise.

Since I probably watched more sitcoms as a kid than most people did as an adult, I think I’ve been exposed to those misguided messages more than most. As a result, I learned plenty of terrible life lessons that did not help when reality hit me with a few gut punches.

I’m not saying that sitcoms were the reasons for my problems, growing up. I don’t blame the sitcoms themselves. I think that, in terms of the bigger picture, the themes of these shows tend to get complicated when it clashes with reality. In the same way fairy tales and porn create unrealistic expectations of romance and sex, sitcoms present false assumptions for making sense of the world.

What follows are five of those terrible lessons that I surmised from my excessive sitcom assumption. If you have other lessons you’d like to add, please share them in the comments. Some sitcoms tell better lessons than others, but these are some of the worst.


Terrible Lesson #1: All Great Romances Begin As Friendships

This lesson preyed off my inherent love of romance. While superhero comics offered plenty in terms of in-depth romance and melodrama, sitcoms were a bit more limited, thanks to their half-hour format. It was a tough, but not insurmountable limitation. Unfortunately, a great many sitcoms relied heavily on flawed, incomplete concepts of romance.

The most common involved romances that begin as friendships. Shows like “Friends” built almost every meaningful romance around this concept. While it wasn’t the only sitcom that did this, it’s by far the worst offender in sending the message that an epic romance starts with a great friendship.

While that makes for good TV, it’s a very flawed approach in the real world. I’m not saying that being friends with someone can’t lead to meaningful romance. It definitely can. However, shows like “Friends” give the impression that this is the only romance that has true depth. Every other romance is just flat and uninspiring, by comparison.

In the real world, seeking friendship is a good thing, but using that as a pre-cursor to romance can come off as deceitful. Sometimes, a person wants a friend more than a love interest and if that’s the only reason you’re friends with them, then that just comes off as insincere and a little creepy.

That’s not to say that sitcoms don’t contain meaningful romance lessons. This just isn’t one of them.


Terrible Lesson #2: Everyone Always Has Ulterior Motives

Chief among the hallmarks of sitcoms are the conflicting motivations of the characters involved. Whether it’s Charlie Harper trying to hook up with a new woman in “Two and a Half Men” or Kelly Bundy trying to win a modeling gig in “Married With Children,” those motivations are rarely that complicated. The only conflict arises when they encounter others whose interests aren’t in line with theirs.

In a half-hour sitcom, there’s little room for characters whose agenda has nothing to do with that of the main characters. Unlike real life, everyone around these characters is either looking to help or thwart their efforts. There’s rarely anyone who just wants to live their life and doesn’t care if someone like Kelly Bundy gets a modeling gig for a pest control company.

While that makes logistical sense within the context of a sitcom, it has some nasty implications for the real world. It further fosters a mentality that anyone who isn’t helping you is actively opposing you. That us versus them mentality already brings out the worst in people, both in the real and fictional world.

At least in the fictional world, that mentality is somewhat justified. It often is the case that the people around you, including close friends and family, have ulterior motives. In many sitcoms, close family members are the ones who screw you over the worst. It’s not a healthy approach to dealing with the world. If you can’t trust your family, then who can you trust?


Terrible Lesson #3: Every Authority Figure Conspires Against You

When it comes to villains or antagonists, there isn’t much room for nuance in sitcoms. You’re not going to find a Walter White within those constraints. Most of the time, the bad guys in a story are painfully obvious. That, in and of itself, isn’t too big a problem. Villains don’t have to be complex to work, even in a sitcom.

However, if a sitcom does have a villain of any kind, it’s almost guaranteed to be an authority figure. They can be a parent, a teacher, or an older sibling. If they have even a shred of authority, no matter how arbitrary, you can assume they’re going to oppose the protagonists in some form or another.

Whether it’s Red Foreman clamping down on the pot smoking in “That 70s Show” or Lois being a tyrannical mom in “Malcom in the Middle,” the authority figures are always the problem. There’s really not much to their villainy. They exist solely to prevent the main characters from having fun and achieving their goals.

Now, I’m not going to claim authority figures can’t be corrupt. There are real cases of authority figures acting like real villains. There are also cases in which authority figures do genuine good. Whether it’s the leader of a country or the chief of a police unit, it is possible for someone to wield authority over others and not be an asshole.

If your understanding of authority comes solely from sitcoms, then that’s like claiming pigs can do algebra. It’s not just that power corrupts. In sitcoms, any kind of power corrupts and it does so completely. It’s as simplistic as it is absurd. In reality, there are authority figures worthy of respect and sitcoms seem to go out of their way to avoid that point.


Terrible Lesson #4: There’s Never A Reason For Someone Being A Bully

In the same way sitcoms present a simplistic view of authority and villains, they take an equally bland approach when it comes to villains. For the most part, bullies in sitcoms aren’t characters. They might as well be robots programmed to insult, denigrate, or annoy the main characters at every turn. There’s no deeper motivation beyond that. They’re just mean, unrepentant assholes.

Characters like Libby Chessler in “Sabrina The Teenage Witch” and Harley Keener in “Boy Meets World” don’t exist to give depth to a sitcom. As bullies, they’re function is to present obstacles and setbacks for others. Giving them a reason for being a bully, be it a personality disorder or past trauma, would hinder their ability to achieve that function.

While this makes sense in the context of plotting a sitcom, it grossly simplifies the concept of bullying. When it happens in the real world, it’s nothing like what we see in a sitcom. I know this because I dealt with bullies in my childhood. It did not play out like any sitcom I ever saw.

Bullies aren’t robots fueled by the whimpering cries of their victims. They are human beings too and while few will sympathize with them, few people are born bullies. They may not even see themselves as one. There are some deeper complexities to the mental makeup of a bully and sitcoms pretend those complexities don’t against.

Granted, it’s difficult for a half-hour TV show to explore and flesh out the personality of a bully. It’s considerably easier to make them an unlikable asshole who helps glorify the main characters. As a result, it’s easy to see bullies as blunt instruments rather than people you need to deal with in your day-to-day life. In such a complicated world full of complicated people, it’s bound to cause problems beyond losing lunch money.


Terrible Lesson #5: Hard Work Is For Suckers

Let’s not lie to ourselves. Growing up, we tend not to appreciate hard work. Most of us go out of our way to avoid it or when we can’t, we take the path of least resistance. Many sitcoms reflect this sentiment. They certainly aren’t the reason why people avoid hard work. That inclination existed long before sitcoms, but they do take it to extremes that can be both hilarious and asinine.

In the world of sitcoms, hard work is tantamount to waterboarding. From Lucy standing on an assembly line in “I Love Lucy” to the over-the-top slacker behavior that plays out in “Workaholics,” hard work is only a step down from bullies. It’s something every major character either avoids or gets crushed by.

Sitcoms build entire plots around characters looking for a way to get out of hard work. Francis in “Malcom in the Middle” is the personification of this struggle. He once spent an entire episode willingly distracting himself from an overdue history assignment. While characters like him often pay a price for their slacking, it’s rarely a worse alternative than hard work.

In the world of sitcoms, you only work hard if you have your dream job. Since most people don’t get their dream job, hard work is basically tantamount to defeat. That’s the main take-away from sitcoms. Anyone with just a small amount of life experience knows how flawed that is.

Even when I was working a part-time job in high school, I learned the value of hard work very quickly. It’s a means to an end. It’s something that, when done right, gives you a sense of accomplishment. While we all can’t approach it with the same passion as Hank Hill, it does have value and sitcoms would have you believe that value doesn’t exist.


I still enjoy sitcoms. I still watch them regularly when there aren’t superhero movies or TV shows to see. While they can be funny and entertaining, they can also present a very flawed concept of life, people, and how to handle it. There are a lot of bad lessons to be learned from even great sitcoms, but if they make us a laugh, then I say that’s a price worth paying.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Manly Musk Edition

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Anytime someone mentions men’s body odor, it’s rarely in a positive context. People only ever seem to talk about how men smell when they smell bad. It’s not just women who do it, either. Other men are guilty of this as well. I’m even guilty of it from time to time. I’ve even been accused of going overboard with aftershave on more than one occasion.

It doesn’t change the fact that men have a distinct musk. Put a blindfold on most people and sit them in a room with a smelly person and chances are, they’ll be able to tell whether that person is a man or woman. It’s not just a product of marketing for overpriced aftershave. Musk is a real biological phenomenon and it has real effects, which includes the very sexy kind.

Musk is very distinct from odor. A man who rolls around in cow shit all day is going to have an odor. A man who works hard over the course of the day, earning his keep and providing for his loved ones, is going to have a musk. My dad had one every time he came home from work. I know I have one, especially during the summer months. Friends and ex-girlfriends have told me as such.

A good, manly musk is one of those subtle, yet powerful manifestations of sex appeal that doesn’t get enough credit. I hope that changes over time. When done right, both women and gay men do take notice of a good, manly musk. It helped inspire this batch of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. I hope it inspires more than that. Enjoy!


“Logically speaking, a happy ending also counts as testing orgasmic reflexes.”


“Spicy foods are basically BDSM for your mouth.”


“Is it ever possible to effectively punish a masochist?”


“How someone takes care of their genitals says just as much as how they tend to their lover.”


“Having a good lover is like having a favorite show, but having a good marriage is like having a favorite channel.”


“Does a three-way with twins truly count as a three-way?”


“Technically, rough sex can be a form of tough love.”


Smell is a powerful sense, but one we tend to only think about when something smells either really good or really bad. I’m all for good hygiene and grooming, but I’m also for preserving the more subtle forms of sex appeal. A man can do a lot to make himself sexually appealing. A good musk can and should be part of that noble effort.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Legs Edition

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There are many parts of the human body that have sexual connotations. Some are more obvious than others. Most people don’t need detailed psychological insight to understand why straight men are attracted to female breasts or why straight women are attracted to men with a toned ass. These desires are hardwired into us. What varies is the intensity of that desire, as well as the focus.

When it comes to legs, both men and women have a good biological incentive to find them sexy. Sexy legs in a woman denote good health and prospective child-rearing. Sexy legs in a man denote good health and an ability to do some heavy lifting around the house. These are sexy qualities that go beyond the act of lovemaking and they have a place in the sexual road map.

On top of that, it’s the middle of summer. This is the time of year where everyone gets to show off their legs. You don’t have to be wearing a swimsuit at the beach. It’s hot outside and wearing long pants just isn’t practical. For those who want to show off their legs, this is the time of year to do it.

It’s why I dedicate a little extra time in my workout to legs over the summer. It’s also why we put a little extra care into your legs this time of year. This edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is my way of encouraging everyone with sexy legs to celebrate their sex appeal while the weather permits it. We all have legs. Why not make them sexy? Enjoy!


“Statistically, it’s a near certainty that someone you know is into something kinky.”


“Good location is as important to real estate as romantic ambiance is to making love.”


“Gold diggers are just prostitutes who play the long game and have good divorce lawyers.”


“The odds of winning the lottery are comparable to the odds that sending a woman a dick pic will result in sex.”


“In this day and age, a couple sharing wi-fi passwords counts as a form of intimacy.”


“Closing the orgasm gap between men and women won’t achieve world peace, but it’ll make peace seem less daunting.”


“To some extent, a family reunion is a celebration of a specific lineage of orgasms.”


I hope that gave everyone, regardless of gender, yet another reason to not skip leg day in the gym. There’s only so much we can do to make certain parts of our body sexy. With legs, there are plenty of options. Strong, sexy legs are one of those traits that have plenty of use beyond the sexy stuff. When you’ve got strength and tone to go with them, it’s just a nice bonus.

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