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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Frisky Gestures Edition

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There are all sorts of gestures we use to convey love, lust, and everything in between. Sometimes, it’s a simple kiss on the cheek. Other times, it’s more elaborate. You break out the candles, put rose petals on the bed, and play every Barry White song ever made. Both help communicate our romantic sentiments. Some just require more planning than others.

In between those two elaborate gestures, though, is something that’s more subtle, but more impactful. You tend to see it a lot with newlyweds or couples who have just fallen in love. They get a little frisky with one another, often in stealthy ways that they try to hide. They don’t always try very hard, but it sends the same message.

Whether it’s slipping your hand into your lover’s back pocket or copping a feel in public, it’s a powerful display. Not everyone appreciates it, but as someone who once dated a girl who enjoyed public friskiness more than most, I find it uniquely endearing. It’s not overly elaborate, but it’s not overly bland either. A frisky gesture is definitely more meaningful than a peck on the cheek.

Whenever I meet the love of my life, I hope she enjoys those frisky gestures as much as I do. I don’t mind letting the public know that I love someone. I hope my future wife feels the same. Whether you just met someone or have been married for several decades, I hope there’s always room for those frisky gestures. Perhaps this round of Sexy Sunday Thoughts will help inspire a few. Enjoy!


“Trying to pee with morning wood is like trying to sleep while on a cocaine bender.”


“For men, it’s very likely that a blowjob is historically the most popular gift of all time.”


“Wherever there are horny people and free time, porn is an inevitability.”


“The quality of lovemaking is directly proportional to the amount of profanity it evokes.”


“Are procrastinators who suffer from premature ejaculation hypocrites by default?”


“Pragmatically speaking, a slut has to be good at multitasking to a certain extent.”


“Drunk sex is like drunk driving in that it can be done, but tends to incur danger, damage, and plenty of long term regret.”


Regardless of how you feel about public displays of affection, it never hurts to remind your lover how much you still love them. A frisky gesture is just one of many ways to get that point across. It can be as tactful or overt as you want it to be. Just be careful about doing it during holiday dinners. There is such a thing as being too frisky in certain circumstances.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Fancy Bed Edition

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A lot of sexy moments occur on beds. Most people wouldn’t argue that. They are the site of our most basic romantic moments. They’re like dishes on which we eat a fancy meal or the batter from which we make a cake. If you’re passionate and/or horny enough, the type of bed doesn’t matter. You and your lover will find a way to make it work.

However, if you have a chance to enjoy a big, fancy bed with your love, then I urge you to take advantage of that. It’s a subtle, but underrated comfort that helps make those romantic moments even better. I’m not just talking about one of those big, California King sized beds. I’m talking about the kind that you can’t find outside a four-star hotel.

Years ago, I attended a wedding at this incredibly upscale hotel. I don’t remember what kind of beds this place had, but they must have been crafted by angels because they felt like clouds from Heaven. I cannot put into words how comfortable this bed was. Even though it was freezing cold outside at the time, I never slept sounder.

If you ever have a chance to spend the night on one of these beds, I encourage you to do so. If you have a chance to get cozy on one with a lover, then definitely take advantage of it. You may not think that a fancy bed can make that much of a difference, but I doubt you’ll think that way after you try one. Think of that and these Sexy Sunday Thoughts when you find out for yourself. Enjoy!


“Power isn’t always an aphrodisiac, but it does allow people to be honest about how kinky they are.”


“The quality of a date is directly proportional to the likelihood of getting naked with someone.”


“An awkward boner is only as awkward as who sees it and when they notice it.”


“Someone who shows off a naturally sexy ass is only redundancy that we widely celebrate.”


“We literally owe our lives to whatever made our parents horny.”


“An ugly person who gets laid once is more impressive than an attractive person who gets laid regularly.”


“Before computers were invented, impotence was the only true software error in existence.”


Beds are an important part of our lives, but they often go overlooked and underappreciated. We spend half our lives sleeping on them. A lot of us were conceived on them. For the most part, a bed only has to be functional. However, like most types of common furniture, there’s a premium side to beds. If you ever have a chance to sleep or make love on one, take advantage of it. You’ll be glad you did.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Jeans Edition

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Who doesn’t love a pair of nice, comfortable jeans? Regardless of your fashion sense, or lack thereof, you probably have certain clothes that you have a unique attachment towards. They may not be trendy or elegant, but there’s just something special about them. When you put them on, they just feel right. That’s how I feel about jeans.

I definitely have a favorite pair of jeans that I wear more than almost any other piece of clothing. I have friends and relatives who have one too. Jeans will never be the sexiest attire anyone can wear, regardless of gender, but there’s something to be said about a pair of pants that has both utility and sex appeal.

That sex appeal might not always be apparent, especially if your favorite pair of jeans gets faded or dirty. I’ve known more than a few people whose jeans look like they got caught in a lawnmower on more than one occasion, but they still refuse to throw them away. For those who actually take care of their jeans, they can give someone a uniquely sexy demeanor.

Some of that has to do with comfort. Jeans are a lot more comfortable than some of the fancy, overpriced attire that we wear to formal events. It’s a lot easier to be sexy when you’re comfortable. In other instances, those same jeans can also show off your legs, your butt, and your willingness to flaunt them.

With fall in the air and the weather getting colder, having that favorite pair of jeans is even more valuable. I’ll likely be wearing them even more frequently as the seasons change. If they can highlight my sex appeal while I’m at it, then that’s just a nice bonus. Consider this edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts another part of that bonus. Enjoy!


“Being a pervert is often more about time, location, and visibility than whatever makes them perverse.”


“Men love bigger breasts for the same reason women love bigger engagement rings.”


“It’s entirely possible that the thong was invented by someone with a wedgie fetish.”


“Technically, skin-tight clothes are a form of fake nudity.”


“It wouldn’t be inaccurate to call men’s underwear testicle cradles.”


“A relationship isn’t serious until you know your lover’s favorite brand of lubricant.”


“On some levels, embarrassment is nature’s ultimate counter to horniness.”


I’ll never be savvy when it comes to fashion. I’ll certainly never claim to be an authority on what’s trendy. However, I know enough to understand the value and sex appeal of a nice pair of jeans. They’re simple, functional, and durable. If you can’t find sex appeal in that, then you’re just being difficult.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Halloween 2019 Edition

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I know it’s a bit premature, but since when has that stopped anyone from celebrating a holiday? Halloween is upon us! In a few days, kids everywhere will don their favorite costumes in search of free candy while adults will don whatever costume they think will help them get laid. It’s a special time of year and one with plenty of fun to be had.

I’ve always thought that Halloween was an underrated holiday. As a kid, we love the free candy. As adults, it’s an excuse to wear something crazy and cut loose a little. We all need a little something like that every now and then. The world can get mundane and bland after a while. Halloween is a perfect opportunity to spice it up a bit.

I also appreciate the idea of embracing the spooky elements of the holiday. While it’s often used as a gimmick, I think there’s something more primal at work, with respect to Halloween’s appeal. We spend every other day of the year avoiding or not thinking about the things that we fear. For one day, we confront and embody them. I think that’s a powerful feeling and one that’s good for us, as a whole.

I’ve already made my Halloween plans. They involve a lot of candy, costumes, and pumpkin-flavored ale. I hope everyone has some plans of their own. Halloween is a fun holiday that has a little something for everyone. Regardless of whether you care for candy or costumes, it’s a chance to do something different and even a little spooky. I say take it!

In that spirit, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get everyone in the Halloween spirit. Enjoy!


“Scissors are like a magic wand that can make any costume slutty.”


“Saying you’re too beautiful to date is saying you’re too horny for a three-way.”


“A tattoo’s sexiness is directly correlated to the body part it’s located near.”


“Like it or not, oral and anal sex are significant reasons why overcrowding isn’t a bigger issue.”


“To some extent, a fear of commitment implies a mistrust of your genitals.”


“Making someone smile is the simplest way to indicate you can give them an orgasm, if given the chance.”


“Is it possible to write a love poem without being horny to some extent?”


To everyone out there who hasn’t finalized their Halloween plans, rest assured there’s still time. Stock up on candy. Find yourself a fitting costume. There are plenty of festivities to enjoy. Find whichever one works for you. From me to you, the wonderful people who follow this website, I wish you all a safe, happy, and sexy Halloween.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Going To The Gym Edition

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Most people don’t like going to the gym. For the first half of my life, I certainly didn’t like it. Gym was my least favorite class in school and I actively avoided them for much of my 20s. Then, I started to become more health conscious. I saw how I looked and I wasn’t satisfied with it. I also saw what was happening with my health and I didn’t like it. Eventually, my attitudes towards gyms changed.

I’ve documented my journey from being grossly out of shape to being a regular fixture at my local gym. I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t just enjoy going to the gym. I feel weird when I don’t. It’s a habit and one that has had a positive impact on my health, my physical appearance, and my confidence. It’s not unreasonable to say that I’m a sexier man today than I was in my 20s because of my efforts at the gym.

Love it or hate it, working out at the gym is where both improved health and greater sexiness are forged. It’s not easy and it doesn’t happen overnight either. It takes time, effort, commitment, and even some pain along the way. The end results are still worth it. I’ve seen people at the gym go from pudgy to ripped over the course of several months. It’s an amazing process and a sexy one, at that.

Granted, you don’t always feel attractive at the gym. You’re sweaty, you’re sticky, and you’re probably going to smell. However, you’re also demonstrating to yourself and others that you’re willing to put in the work. You’re willing to fight, struggle, and toil in the name of greater health and sex appeal. That’s something that anyone can find attractive.

Many of the thoughts that end up in my Sexy Sunday Thoughts often occur while I’m at the gym. With my heart pumping, my blood flowing, and my mind focus, it’s just too fitting. That makes this edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts almost as rewarding as a good workout. Enjoy!


“An overly fancy dinner is just a more expensive form of foreplay.”


“If practice makes perfect, then sluts are just a kinky brand of perfectionists.”


“Stupidity will persist for as long as it plays a role in significant numbers of pregnancies.”


“A broken heart often coincides with lonely genitals.”


“If an orgy is a democracy, then a gangbang is a reverse dictatorship.”


“Sleeping with your ex is like drinking and driving in a car you’ve already crashed before.”


“Logistically speaking, a skilled liar and a gullible idiot are among the most compatible lovers.”


I hope this inspires those who already go to the gym to push themselves a little harder on their next trip. For those who don’t go, I encourage you to give it a try. You might not like it at first. You might find it difficult and strenuous. Trust me, it’s worth doing. It gets easier over time and when you see the results in the mirror, you’ll feel both healthier and sexier.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Pumpkin Spice Edition 2019

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It’s that time of year again. The days are getting shorter, the weather is getting colder, and the leaves are changing into a beautiful tapestry of colors. These are the traditional signs of fall and most people don’t have a problem with them. Some even celebrate them. In recent years, though, another element has become associated with this time of year, much to the chagrin of certain crowds.

I’m talking, of course, about pumpkin spice. Now, I’m not among those who whine about the presence and prevalence of all things pumpkin spice. There’s an elaborate narrative surrounding that and it’s not worth getting into. Personally, I happen to like pumpkin spice. I usually treat myself with a nice pumpkin spice latte this time of year when I feel I earned it.

It’s not the greatest latte in the world, but it still tastes great. It has a unique flavor that fits perfectly with the season. This is the time of year when pumpkins are everywhere, be they Halloween decorations or core ingredients of pies. Pumpkin spice is just another treat to celebrate this time of year.

Think what you will about it. Use it as an excuse to bash millennials and snooty coffee addicts all you want. It still tastes great and it still helps usher in a new season. It’s my hope that this round of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts inspires people to set aside the complaining about pumpkin spice and just enjoy its uniquely seasonal taste.


“To some extent, parents protecting the chastity of their daughters amounts to micromanaging their orgasms.”


“Divorce is essentially a lawsuit built around insufficient, stolen, or unsanctioned orgasms.”


“Falling in love can make for epic romance, but stumbling into it can make for heartfelt comedy.”


“Is it hypocritical that we’re so serious about caring for our genitals, but base some of our crudest humor around them?”


“Technically speaking, sexual fluids are liquid joy.”


“Getting lectured on sex by a celibate priest is like getting lessons in cyber security from the Amish.”


“The sounds we make during sex are the only true universal language.”


I don’t expect these sexy musings to convince people that pumpkin spice is inherently awesome. At the end of the day, it’s simply a special flavoring that happens to correlate perfectly with this time of year. It certainly helps that it’s delicious and it’s always easier to feel sexy when you’ve enjoyed a delicious treat.

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John Oliver, Sex Dolls, And The (Unwarranted) Shaming Of Lonely Men

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There’s a general rule in comedy with respect to insults. If you’re going to demean, denigrate, or make fun of a particular person or group, you don’t want to punch down. Granted, you can do it. You can even get a few laughs out of it if you do it well and are exceptionally funny. However, in the grand scheme of things, you’re still an asshole.

It’s the main reason why comedians, be they stand-up comics or talk show hosts, generally direct their insults at the rich, powerful, and privileged. There’s a general understanding that if you’re doing well in this chaotic game of life, either through luck or talent, you can afford to take a few insults. At the end of the day, you can still go home and cry into a pile of money, fame, and affluence.

When you insult a group that has none of those things in any abundance, it’s usually not something people respect, even if they laugh. It’s why even great comedians like George Carlin had to be very careful and exceptionally skilled when he joked about rape.

We miss you, George. We miss you SO much.

Unfortunately, not everyone can be as funny or talented as George Carlin. Sometimes, insult comedy hits an undeserving target. It tends to reveal something about the comedian delivering the insult and where society is, in terms of sympathies. It’s often subtle, but the subtext is there and it has larger implications.

That brings me to John Oliver, the nerdy smart-ass British comedian who owes 95 percent of his fame to John Stewart. His show, “Last Week Tonight,” has won multiple Emmy awards and has garnered substantial praise for its colorful approach to tackling major issues, from the abortion debate to annoying robocalls to the flaws in standardized testing.

While I don’t agree with Mr. Oliver’s politics all the time or his approach to tackling certain issues, I consider myself a fan of his show. Compared to other satirical comedy shows, he tends to strike just the right balance between quality comedy and tackling serious issues.

However, he recently took a comedic jab that deviated from his usual style and not in a good way. It occurred during his episode that focused on China’s controversial One Child Policy. It’s an issue that has been subject to plenty of controversy for years and I think Mr. Oliver was right to talk about it.

One of the major consequences of this policy, which Mr. Oliver rightly pointed out, was how it led to a massive gender population imbalance. Due to a historic preference for sons, there are millions more men than women in China. The disparity is so great that it has caused major social upheavals.

While discussing some of those upheavals, the issue of sex dolls came up. In a country where there are so many lonely men, it makes sense that they would seek some form of outlet and it helps that the market of sex dolls is growing. This is where Mr. Oliver did a little punching down and, unlike his jabs at New Zealand, this didn’t have the same impact. See for yourself in this clip.

Take a moment to consider what he’s joking about here. There are millions of men in China who, through no fault of their own, are likely doomed to a life of loneliness. It’s not because they’re bad men. They’re not creepy, cruel, or misogynistic. They’re just at the mercy of math and demographics. There simply aren’t enough women in their country.

For these men, the old saying that there’s plenty of fish in the sea is an outright lie. Their options are limited and Mr. Oliver is making light of that. He essentially claims that men who use sex dolls are somehow even more pathetic and destined for more loneliness. He makes that claim as someone who is married, has a child, and doesn’t have to deal with those prospects.

It’s not just bad comedy. It’s hypocritical. Earlier in that same clip, he showed sympathy and understanding to a Chinese woman who was forced to have an abortion against her will. He’s shown similar sympathy to people in other situations, from women dealing with restrictive abortion laws to prisoners who had been screwed over by an unfair justice system.

Why would he show no sympathy for these lonely men?

Moreover, why would he make a joke about it?

To some extent, it’s not all on him. There is an egregious double standard when it comes to men who use sex toys. A woman can walk into a sex shop, buy a vibrator, and talk about using it without too much stigma. Sure, there will be a few repressive, sex-negative religious zealots who will complain about anything that gives anyone unsanctioned pleasure, but most people don’t take them seriously.

For men, however, there’s a taboo surrounding the use of sex toys in any capacity. Some of that comes from men more than women. There’s this not-so-subtle assumption that a man who needs a sex toy is somehow less manly. Any man who has to resort to one must be somehow deficient. It can’t just be that he’s lonely or wants to use new tools to please his lover. That would make too much sense.

For the men in China, and other areas where there’s a huge gender disparity, the situation is even worse. These are men who are facing both loneliness and sexual frustration. There’s more than a little evidence that this is not healthy for them on any level. That’s not to say that sex dolls or sex toys will help fill that void, but it will give them an outlet, just as a vibrator gives a lonely woman an outlet.

Unlike a lonely woman, though, these men can’t expect much sympathy. As Mr. Oliver demonstrates, they can expect plenty of shame and stigma. It doesn’t matter that they can’t do anything about their situation. They’re victims of circumstance, demographics, and basic math. Adding stigma and taboo to the mix is akin to kicking them in the balls on the worst day of their lives.

I won’t say that Mr. Oliver should apologize for his remark. He’s a comedian. He’s a citizen in a free country. He can say what he wants. However, the fact that he can joke about lonely men and still get a laugh says a lot about the current attitudes towards lonely men, in general.

We know they’re suffering. We know there’s not much they can do about it, especially in places like China. While we’ll give plenty of sympathy to the lonely women who resort to using sex toys, we’ll stick to shaming and stigmatizing the men who dare to do the same. Then, we’ll pretend to be surprised when they get angry and resentful.

Is that fair? No, it isn’t.

Is that funny? No, I argue that it’s not, especially with the way Mr. Oliver went about it.

He’s no George Carlin. He’s no John Stewart, either. In this particular case, he’s just an asshole.

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