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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Spring Time Loving Edition

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It’s officially spring. Traditionally, it’s the time of year when people finally emerge from months of staying indoors, dressing in layers, and scraping ice of windshields. It’s also the traditional time when love is in the air and lover’s embrace one another in the same way they embrace warmer weather. It may be corny, but for the romantic among us, it’s a beautiful thing.

Unfortunately, traditions of all kinds have been upended in recent weeks. Thanks to a global pandemic that has killed the mood for many, we’ve already lost major traditions in sports, holidays, and festivals. Chances are we’ll lose a lot more before all is said and done. As a romantic, I take no pleasure in conceding that.

However, I don’t believe in letting fear and dire news kill the spirit of the season. Pandemic or not, warmer weather and longer days have arrived. We can finally put away the heavy coats and the snow shovels. Even if we can’t go to the beach, we can still enjoy the luxury of wearing less clothing around the house and our lover. It may not take the place of other spring traditions, but it’s better than nothing.

These trying times will eventually pass. Eventually, our collective isolation will end, toilet paper will be on sale again, and people won’t be afraid to shake hands. Until then, let’s welcome the spring and the seasonal passions they inspire. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get you in the spirit. Enjoy!


“Necessity may be the mother of invention, but the desire to get laid is a close relative.”


“A nice guy and a nice girl can still have the naughtiest sex lives.”


“To some extent, saving the human race requires helping people get laid.”


“The first act of drunk sex was probably messier than anyone expected.”


“If what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, then it should follow that what makes you lonelier makes you hornier.”


“Parents want what’s best for their kids, but seem to hesitate when it comes to their sex lives.”


“To some extent, masturbation is general maintenance for our genitals.”


There’s no way around it. This spring will be one to remember for all the wrong reasons. Hopefully, it’s a lesson for how bad things can get and how much we can endure. No matter how bad it gets, we can’t let it temper our sense of romance. Better times are coming. Until then, we should to make the most of these difficult times.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Rebound Love Edition

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Rebound sex has somewhat of a mixed reputation. It’s not uncommon for someone to tell a friend, be they a man or a woman, that the best way to get over one lover is to hop into bed with another. The logic sounds lurid, but it’s not entirely flawed. Sometimes, people need to reconnect with someone new to move forward. Like anything, there’s a healthy and unhealthy way to do it, but it does have merit.

Personally, I think just jumping into bed with the first person you can after a break-up does more harm than good. However, I also think that pursuing a new relationship shortly after another has fallen apart can work very well, provided those involved understand the circumstances. I think love in that context can be just as meaningful as any other.

It’s part of a very human tendency to seek love. When you feel broken, vulnerable, and lonely, you’re going to be a lot more motivated to seek it. Break-ups often leave us feeling all of those things and then some. I’d argue that you’re never more motivated to find a new love than you are when you’re still reeling from one that failed.

I’ve experienced this personally. I’ve also seen others experience it as well. Some ended up in a rebound relationship that has since become long-term. It’s an uncommon love story that doesn’t always have a romantic foundation, but it’s every bit as genuine. Love like that is certainly worthy of some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to cap off the weekend. Enjoy!


“If you and your lover are horny, creative, and daring, you can make love on any piece of furniture.”


“Pillow talk is basically a debriefing for your heart and your genitals.”


“Every time you think your job is awful, remember that there are janitors who work at brothels.”


“Sexting is basically an effort to be the one who makes someone horny from afar.”


“A good portion of peoples’ morality is built around which sources of orgasms warrant stigma.”


“As long as people have dirty minds, there will always be a source of free porn.”


“Decadence is just a sexy brand of fun that makes certain people uncomfortable.”


Pursuing love is rarely a smooth, predictable process. We all have this fanciful idea of how we’ll fall in love with someone. It rarely plays out that way in the real world. Rebound love might not be the most romantic kind of love we pursue, but it can still blossom. It can turn the pain of a breakup into something beautiful. What’s more romantic than that?

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Intimate Quarantine Edition

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There are certain times when it’s genuinely hard to set a sexy mood. A national tragedy, a death in the family, or being arrested often qualify. However, a global pandemic is a special kind of challenge. Like everyone else with access to a news feed, I know what’s going on with the Coronavirus/COVID-19. There’s no way around it. This is a crisis the likes of which we haven’t seen in decades.

I’ve tried to offer advice and lighten the mood over the course of the week. I know that only goes so far. When it comes to offering some Sexy Sunday Thoughts, I understand it’s more challenging than usual. Originally, I was going to do a St. Patrick’s Day edition. With so many events cancelled, I feel that’s just not appropriate anymore.

For many communities, including my own, we’re on somewhat of a quarantine. Schools are closed. Large gatherings are banned. We’re basically just stuck in our homes, trying to amuse ourselves and washing our hands constantly. It’s not ideal, but there are still some sexy opportunities to pursue.

If we’re going to be stuck inside, we might as well make the most of it. If you’re lucky enough to have a lover, use this time to catch up on some quality lovemaking. You might never have a time with so few distractions. In that spirit, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get you in the mood. At the very least, I hope it raises your spirits.


“Being bored and horny is one of the few problems that actually solves itself.”


“Love may be priceless, but relationships come with many hidden fees.”


“Whoever first came up with clown porn must have an exceedingly twisted amount of kink.”


“One man’s premature ejaculation is another’s impromptu quickie.”


“The ability to get laid is what separates being creepy from being mysterious.”


“Part of finding a great lover is giving them plenty of chances to practice.”


“During a crisis, all sex counts as thrill sex.”


In times of crisis, the best you can do is not panic and take things a day at a time. Things will eventually return to normal. It’s just going to take longer than usual. Until then, do what you can to make the most of it. Wash your hands and embrace your loved ones. If you can embrace them in a sexy way, then that’s just a nice bonus at a time when there are precious few.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Wit Edition

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What does it mean to have a quick wit? It’s one of those things we can’t clearly define, but we know it when we see it. Like sexy innuendo or erotic undertones, it’s something we just pick up on without knowing why. Having witty, smart retorts is an underrated tool in social interactions. It can even get you ahead in certain professional fields, especially if you’re a lawyer. Just ask Saul Goodman.

Outside a courtroom, a quick wit can have many sexy connotations. I’ve known more than a few people in my life who might not have had the looks of a supermodel, but they could talk and quip as though they were the sexiest creatures on this plant. It’s one of those rare sexy skills that men and women alike can appreciate. It doesn’t always work the same way, but it still works.

A sexy wit can help you say many sexy things to your lover, but with fewer words and a more memorable impact. It’s rarely something you can plot out. Anyone can make a romantic gesture if they have enough time, resources, and motivation. It takes real talent to make such a gesture on the cuff and with just your words.

Whether it comes from raw talent or learned skill, a sexy wit goes a long way for anyone who wields it. Women can use it to get their lover’s excited. Men can use it to get their lovers interested and engaged. It may be an understated ability, but its potential greater than most people realize. I hope this round of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts help others appreciate that potential. Enjoy!


“The first man to give a woman multiple orgasms was also likely the first real life superhero.”


“It’s probably coincidence that the best drugs either facilitate great sex or supplant it.”


“Ever stop and wonder what sort of mishap, ignorance, or debauchery requires someone to call customer support for a sex toy?”


“If all the greatest sluts and studs go to Hell when they die, then is Heaven truly Heaven?”


“The measure of a man can be indirectly inferred by what he thinks of when he masturbates.”


“Creativity is equally instrumental in creating greater art and kinkier kinks.”


“Is a hypochondriac with a dirty mind a hypocrite by default?”


Not everyone can talk with the same swagger and seductiveness as James Bond or Jennifer Lopez. However, with the right application of wit and word play, we can amplify our sex appeal in the right situations. Whether you’re with a long-time lover or a pretty face that you just met, a good wit can go a long way towards endearing yourself to them and not just in a sexy sort of way.

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A Message For The Moral Crusaders Of My Childhood (Inspired By The Trailer For “Paradise PD” Season 2)

I’m old enough to remember when parents, teachers, and politicians protested incessantly about shows like “Beavis and Butt-Head” because they were too obscene.

I’m old enough to remember when parents, teachers, and politicians complained endlessly about the lyrics and themes of gangasta rap music.

I’m old enough to remember when parents, teachers, and politicians whined constantly about the violence depicted in every episode of “Power Rangers.”

Hell, I’m even old enough to remember when those same parents, teachers, and politicians said that “The Simpsons” were too immoral for prime-time TV. Those memories make me feel much older than I care to admit, but that’s beside the point.

I have a message for those same parents, teachers, and politicians of that era. I know some are no longer with us, but I know for a fact that plenty are still alive, healthy, and as vocal as ever about bemoaning anything obscene, objectionable, or fun. To those people, I have one simple request.

Watch the following trailer for “Paradise PD” Season 2 and then tell me how you feel about all those other shows you whined about throughout the 1990s. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

For the record, I’m a huge fan of “Paradise PD.” I’m very excited about Season 2. I know it’s a show that takes vulgarity, obscenity, and gratuitous violence to levels that even “South Park” won’t touch, but it’s more fun than a pervert in a panty factory and I intend to enjoy every second of it.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: First Crush Edition

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Who doesn’t remember their first crush? Maybe a better question for some is why can’t we forget our first crush? Most of us know remember the name, face, eye-color, and shoe size of the first person we had a crush on in our youth. I certainly do. I’ve shared some personal details of that experience before. I think it’s an experience we can all relate to on some levels.

Most of the time, our first rush isn’t the person we end up with. More often than not, they coincide with that fateful moment when we realize we’re attracted to other people. We gradate from that point in our lives when we’re not just looking for a friend. We’re seeking a more intimate connection. It can be profound, but it can also be scary.

When we’re young, our emotions are all over the place. They’re still new to us. We don’t know how to deal with them, let alone share them. Our first crush is like our first attempt to make that connection. Some are lucky enough to share the awkwardness with someone special. It can seem immature in hindsight, but it still represents a meaningful step in our romantic, emotional, and sexual journey.

I certainly learned a lot from my first crush. Some of those lessons took longer than others to sink in. Even if you ended up with someone different in the end, that first crush will always be special to us on some levels. Please keep that in mind as I share with you some Sexy Sunday Thoughts. If you’re among the lucky ones to still be with your first crush, I hope it gets you in the right spirit. Enjoy!


“When you’re bisexual, every close friend is a potential lover.”


“The first three-way that involved twins was also the first two-for-one deal.”


“Underwear is only as sexy as your lover’s desire to rip it off.”


“There’s a right way and a wrong way to talk dirty, but the line gets very blurry when one lover is kinky.”


“Can a mistake that results in an orgasm truly count as a mistake?”


“Finding true love and finding a steady supply of shared orgasms aren’t the same thing, but they involve similar processes.”


“Every love song takes on a different meaning when sung from the perspective of someone who’s very horny.”


My first crush probably doesn’t remember me. They may have similar feelings about their first crush. Whatever the case may be, there’s value in knowing that moment in which you desired something deeper than friendship. It’s the first step to developing sexier feelings for others. Those first steps may be awkward, but they can take us to some wonderful places later in life.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Leftover Chocolates Edition

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The end of every holiday, large or small, brings with it some underrated perks. Whether it’s Halloween, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day, those perks have appeal for those in love, as well as those who are single. One of my favorite involves the glut of cheap, leftover candy that’s often in abundance after a holiday.

If you’ve been to a store in the past week, you’ve probably seen it. Shelves upon shelves of unsold Valentine’s Day treats are just sitting there, having not been used in any grand romantic gesture. It’s tragic anytime delicious treats go uneaten, but even though Valentine’s Day is over, there’s still hope for them and for those who don’t need a holiday to do something special.

At the end of the day, it’s cheap candy. If you, your friends, and your lover can’t find a way to enjoy cheap candy, then you’re just being difficult. I say take advantage of it. It doesn’t make you cheap. Technically, you’re working smarter by saving money that you could use for yourself and your lover on your own terms. Hallmark may not like it, but that’s their problem.

There aren’t many situations that aren’t improved by extra candy. As long as you don’t mind the Valentine’s Day themes at this point, you’ve got a golden opportunity to make your day a little sweeter. If you can make your lover’s sweeter too, then that’s a nice bonus. No holidays are necessary. Hopefully, these Sexy Sunday Thoughts will help you work up an appetite. Enjoy!


“Technically, romantic tension can’t function without some degree of horniness.”


“You can only be so romantic when you’re really horny.”


“How much do you trust someone who says they’ve never watched porn?”


“If a crazy stunt gets you laid, does it still count as crazy?”


“Pursuing love means finding someone willing to regularly get naked with you.”


“A whore is just a slut with better business savvy.”


“Great love stories often come from those who are lonely, horny, or both.”


We’re entering a time of year in which there aren’t a lot of holidays to look forward to. That means you’re not going to see elaborate treats or decorations. Those cheap, leftover chocolates from Valentine’s Day aren’t going to last forever. Get them while you can. Enjoy them on your own terms. Share them with the ones you love if you can. It’s as sweet a gesture as you can give.

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