Tag Archives: sex comedy

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Manly Chest Hair Edition


What is it about manly chest hair that’s so sexy? Actually, a better question might be why the sex appeal of chest hair is so mixed? Men have more body hair. That’s just basic human biology. It has a pragmatic, albeit limited function. We don’t have enough of it to keep us as warm as a polar bear, but it still has a unique aesthetic.

Like breasts on women, chest hair is one of those distinguishing male features that denotes raw masculinity. Most men don’t emphasize it as much as women do with their breasts. Then again, very few features can ever hope to match the sex appeal of female breasts. That doesn’t mean chest hair can’t have a place in the sexual landscape.

I’ve had chest hair since I was 16. I come from a long line of men in my family who have hairy chests. Some family members even take pride in it. The women they’re with don’t hide their appreciation of it. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate the manliness my chest hair conveys and I think it’s worth appreciating even more.

For this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts, I’d like to celebrate this underrated sexual trait. It does more than just distinguish men from women or offer some extra warmth in the winter. It adds a unique kind of sexiness to a world rich in sex appeal. Not everyone finds it sexy, but for those that do will always be a little warmer on cold nights.

“A bad date that ends in sex will always be more memorable than a good date that ends in a kiss.”

“Lovemaking can easily turn into fucking, but it’s much harder to do the other way around.”

“When you think about it, mirrors tell us just how much we want to fuck ourselves.”

“The appeal of anal sex changes considerably after a woman has given birth.”

“Love is just a more refined and focused version of being horny.”

“Historically speaking, humping is the second oldest form of exercise after running.”

“Puberty is just your body’s way of letting you know it’ll be fucking with you for the rest of your life.”

For those who find inherent sex appeal in chest hair, the colder weather in the coming months should help vindicate you. Hairy chest hair is one of those traits that tends to have a very targeted sex appeal. Some genuinely don’t care for it. Some find it sexier than Ron Swanson covered in bacon grease. As winter draws near, I believe those men who value their chest hair will once again make their case.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Back Massage Edition


Is it possible to request a back massage without it being construed as sexual? Having experienced, witnessed, and even contributed in all kinds lurid innuendo, I won’t say it’s impossible. I’ll just note that it’s extremely improbable, given our collective immaturity when it comes to sexual matters.

That’s a shame too because there are times when we genuinely need a back massage for entirely non-sexual reasons. One of the first jobs I ever had was at a fast food restaurant. At that job, I spent a good deal of time bending over to clean dirt, mud, and even baby vomit on one fateful night. That was murder on my back, as well as my dignity.

I endured long stretches of back problems that only got better after I quit that job. When I was dating my ex-girlfriend, she had her share of soreness too, due to unrelated health issues. Sometimes, giving each other a soothing, non-sexual back massage was genuinely welcome. I would even go so far as to call it incredibly romantic.

There’s always room for the sexier side of massages. However, there’s also a place for the less seamy kind of back massages. They can be sexy without getting too sexual. They can even be gestures of genuine romance. This week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is dedicated to both. I even encourage every couple out there to try both at some point today. Enjoy!

“Thinking before you act can have very mixed results when you’re really horny.”

“Those who give great oral sex will always have more friends than enemies.”

“When you think about it, an awkward boner is the only reflex that’s actually useful.”

“Women who is physically flexible tend find lovers who are just as flexible in a non-physical way.”

“Make-up sex is the romantic equivalent of tech support for an old computer.”

“In essence, prostitution is paying a premium to skip the small talk before sex.”

“Stories about broken hearts will never be as memorable as those about bruised genitals.”

I hope that helped make everyone’s back feel better, among other things. Massages will always have a sexy connotation and for good reason. Intimate touching usually leads to intimate loving. It’s just physics. When we’re genuinely sore, though, it goes beyond intimacy. It’s downright therapeutic. Whenever you can mix therapy and sex appeal, you know you’ve got something special.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts Halloween 2018 Edition


It’s that time of year again. Kids and chocolate addicts love it. Dentists and fundamentalist Christians hate it. Halloween has arrived! It’s an underrated holiday that I’ve come to appreciate more as an adult than I did as a kid.

Before, it was just an excuse to get free candy. Now, it’s an excuse to eat a lot of candy while watching beautiful women take full advantage of having an excuse to dress sexy. I know it’s not politically correct these days, but I’m all for any holiday or event that lets people be sexy without scrutiny. Adding candy to the mix can only help.

It’s not just about women in sexy costumes for me, as hard as that is to believe for someone. I genuinely enjoy giving candy to kids and seeing their faces light up when they get it. You really can’t give candy to kids these days without seeming creepy, but on Halloween, none of that matters and I think it’s a beautiful thing.

Every year, I make it a point to have the best candy. I intend to do the same this year while also taking time to admire the sexy costumes of beautiful women. For that reason, I dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to all those who appreciate Halloween as much as I do. Enjoy!

“Getting good at sex isn’t like riding a bike, but it does involve exercising similar muscles.”

“A dentist is probably more uptight when it comes to receiving oral sex.”

“A class that teaches quality foreplay is the only course that has enjoyable homework.”

“The only difference between a bar fight and a drunken hook-up is the kind of furniture that gets broken.”

“Having faith in our lover’s ability to make us orgasm is the only truly universal religion.”

“These days, a dildo is the only gadget with which we have a more intimate relationship than our phones.”

“When you think about it, every illicit drug is attempting to match or exceed the feeling we get when we make love.”

I hope that got everyone into the Halloween spirit, among other things. Whether you’re just a kid looking for some free candy or a beautiful woman who just needs an excuse to wear that sexy nurse costume, I hope you find a way to enjoy Halloween this year. It’s a sweet holiday with some extra sex appeal. What’s not to love?

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Intimate Cuddling Edition


I like to cuddle. No, I don’t consider that unmanly. No, I’m not going to apologize for it. In the same way I’m an unapologetic romantic who admits to sleeping naked, I happily say outright that I enjoy cuddling. If you think less of me because of that, then that’s your problem.

I don’t know when it became cool for men to despise something as simple as cuddling. For reasons I don’t understand, it’s one of those things that people consider girly. Saying you enjoy cuddling is the same as admitting you have shriveled balls and bad breath. Even among women, it’ll get most men awkward looks.

I think that’s one of the many gender-driven tropes that we need to crush with a 50-ton boulder and a gallon of napalm. I know from my experience with ex-girlfriends that cuddling can be fun, sexy, and even a little kinky if you do it right. I won’t get into specifics, but if any of my ex-girlfriends are reading this, I hope I conjured some pleasant memories.

I doubt I’ll convince anyone that cuddling can be both sexy and manly today, but I can couple it with my weekly does of Sexy Sunday Thoughts. If nothing else, I hope this convinces you to try a little extra cuddling with your lover the next chance you get. You may be surprised by how much you enjoy it.

“Drinking and driving is dangerous, but drinking and flirting is hilarious.”

“Having big balls is the only compliment that can also be a diagnosis.”

“Finding a lover is like finding a G-spot in that it can be pretty messy, but rewarding.”

“When you think about it, every romantic endeavor contains some element of prostitution.”

“Cuddling is just a PG version of foreplay.”

“Food critics and oral sex enthusiasts utilize similar methods in refining their craft.”

“A fashion statement is just someone silently proclaiming how far they’re willing to go to get laid.”

I hope that put everyone in a more cuddly mood. The weather is starting to change. We have at least six months of cold weather ahead of us. Now is as good a time as any to exercise your cuddling skills. It can help keep you warm, save money on heating, and enhance your sex life. What’s not to love?

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Hot Tea Edition


Growing up, I didn’t care for tea. I didn’t care for coffee, either. As a kid, I honestly didn’t see the appeal of either. Then, I became an adult and learned very quickly that the benefits of these drinks beat the hell out of soda and fruit juice.

I grew to love coffee first, but that was mostly out of necessity. I needed something to keep me going so I could write sexy stories. Shortly after that, though, I developed a taste for tea. However, instead of keeping me going, tea helped slow things down. It helped me relax and decompress after a long day. It also had some sexy undertones.

For that, I credit my ex-girlfriend. I’ve talked about her before, but she was the first to show me the benefits of tea. In college, that’s how she would relax and when she got relaxed, she got more affectionate. Naturally, I tried it too and it had the same effect. Since then, tea has had a special place in my stomach and my heart.

Even after me and my girlfriend broke up, I came to enjoy a hot cup of tea at the end of the day. It helps my body and my mind relax, which has helped me craft more sexy short stories, including one inspired by tea. As such, this edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is dedicated to the relaxing benefits of tea and all those who appreciate it. Enjoy!

“If making love is like a touchdown, then afterglow is successful two-point conversion.”

“Good foreplay takes talent, but true mastery comes with practice.”

“Successful flirting is not that different from a successful job interview.”

“Pity sex is like cold pizza in that it’s not ideal, but still gets the job done.”

“A lover who still talks dirty is like a healthy chocolate bar that still tastes good.”

“Every kinky sex act has a basis in horniness, boredom, and alcohol.”

“Make-up sex is the romantic equivalent of duct tape.”

I hope that both relaxed and/or excited you. I know tea isn’t considered a very sexy drink, but I can attest that it has some very sexy effects in the right situation. As the weather gets colder and we have more reasons to cuddle, I strongly recommend that everyone take some time to enjoy it. After all, it’s much easier to be sexy when you’re nice and relaxed.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: New York Comic Con 2018 Edition


It’s a great time to be a comic book fan and for once I’m not just referring to the glut of superhero movies flooding the market. This past weekend was New York Comic Con 2018 and, as I so eagerly documented, I had a chance to attend. As someone who writes extensively about comics and builds every Wednesday around reading them, this time of year is basically Christmas meshed with Halloween.

Every year, I go to New York Comic Con knowing that it’s a true testament to fandom. Say what you will about the “toxic fanbase” phenomenon that has emerged in recent years. There’s no denying the passion and dedication of those who attend the New York Comic Con where they can dress like their favorite character. Considering some of the time and effort some people put into their costumes, that passion is worth celebrating.

I could spend a whole week talking about all the wonderful sights and sounds of the New York Comic Con. I still couldn’t do it justice. Every year I go, the experience seems to expand. I meet new people. I discover new things. I get to share in the collective joy that comes with being a fan. For that, I’ll always be grateful.

After another eventful New York Comic Con, I don’t think I’ll surprise anyone by dedicating this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the experience. There’s a lot to celebrate in this golden era of superhero movies. I’m just glad I got to be part of it and add a little sexiness to the mix. Enjoy!

“A whore is a slut who is smart enough to get paid for doing what they’re already doing.”

“Logistically speaking, phone sex only became practical when phones began vibrating.”

“In terms of raw intimacy, lube is the most romantic gift you can give your lover.”

“Female breasts are one of the few things in the world that can be both a distraction and a motivator.”

“In terms of love and sex, the tongue is the most versatile body part.”

“Internet porn has created the first human society where everyone has access to cheap, abundant orgasms.”

“The difference between intimacy and debauchery is measured by the amount of fun the clergy doesn’t think you should be having.”

Another year has come. Another trip to the New York Comic Con is complete. Every year seems to raise the bar and I’m plenty willing to do my part. To the city of New York, the many comic companies I love, and those who wore overly-elaborate costumes, I sincerely thank you. You help give heart to these passions we share.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Tight Fitting Clothes Edition

Woman wearing of jean pants from back. Female bottom in tight jeans

Growing up, I didn’t like tight-fitting clothes. In fact, I would get annoyed if I had to wear something that anything looser than cargo shorts and an oversized T-shirt. I won’t say it was a quirk as much as it was a preference. If I ever had the choice to dress myself, I would almost always favor loose-fitting clothes.

That did change as I got older, though. It took a while, but I noticed that after I got in shape, I came to appreciate tighter-fitting clothes. From shirts to jeans to underwear, I felt as though tighter clothes helped show how much I’ve grown and how much work I’ve put into my body. I can safely say that I feel more attractive in tighter clothes.

I know I’m not alone. Look at any popular fashion magazine or attractive model and chances are they’ll use tight clothes to show off their beauty. It’s not so much a result of enjoying the feeling of certain fabrics on your skin as it is a statement that you’re fit enough to wear these kinds of clothes in the first place.

Is it somewhat egotistical? Yes, it certainly is. Then again, if you have the chance to show off how good you look, why waste it? Some extra tight clothes can help you achieve just that. This week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is a dedication to those tight-fitting clothes and all the sexiness they show off.

“It’s somewhat ironic that we judge sexy lingerie by how much it makes others want to rip it off.”

“A cheap dildo is a worthy investment to those who’ve been on one too many cheap dates.”

“Whoever invented popsicles had to have known how much impact they would have on attitudes about oral sex.”

“Doing chores for your lover is exhausting, but doing chores with your lover can be a form a foreplay.”

“A firm handshake among men can imply a lot about where that hand and those fingers have been.”

“When you think about it, feeling emotional and feeling horny is just a matter of which body part gets the most blood.”

“The only way people will stop doing illicit drugs is if they stop making it so much easier to get laid.”

I hope that made everyone’s clothes feel a little tighter for all the right reasons. I still wear a lot of loose-fitting clothes on a casual basis. However, when I get a chance to show off how good I look, I gladly opt for something tighter. I encourage everyone to do the same. We all have a certain amount of sex appeal. Don’t let your clothes completely hide it.

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