Tag Archives: sexy jokes

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Vacation Edition

What’s the best way to make a vacation sexier? That’s a trick question. Just being on vacation, especially one that allows you to spend less time paying bills and more time naked, is inherently sexy. When clothing, work, and so much else is optional, you’re bound to feel more energy, especially the sexy kind.

I know this because, as I type these sexy words, I’m looking out at a beautiful beach. That’s right. I’m on vacation. I’m literally sitting on a balcony from a hotel, watching the sun rise over the ocean. It’s as relaxing as it sounds and then some.

For the next several days, my sole concern involves lounging on the beach, hanging out at beach bars, and admiring beautiful women in bikinis. I have every intention of enjoying it to the utmost. It might very well be my last vacation of the summer before changes in weather makes extended periods of nudity more difficult.

Vacation or not, my mind never stops thinking sexy things. If anything, being at a beach in the hottest days of summer only makes those thoughts sexier. As such, I’ll try to incorporate every last bit of that sexiness into this week’s edition of “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.” Enjoy!


“If variety truly is the spice of life, then a man’s porn collection is the perfect embodiment of that concept.”


“When you think about it, a female version of James Bond is a stereotypical porn star.”


“Getting sex advice from your parents is like getting vegan recipes from a cannibal.”


“There are very few ways to ruin a blowjob, but a great many ways to screw up the process of requesting one.”


“It’s usually a bad sign when your lover says they want great sex, but isn’t too eager to practice.”


“If the key to a man’s heart was really through his stomach, then wouldn’t the sexiest women in the world all be professional chefs?”


“The average orgasm for a man lasts 7 seconds. The average orgasm for a woman lasts 20. THAT’S why there will never be true gender equality.”


“When you think about it, a fetish is just a type of sex with a really passionate fanbase.”


Even if you’re stuck working, I hope these lurid musings help tide you over until your next vacation, whenever it may be. I know it’s not the same as a tropical getaway, but sometimes you got to take what you can get. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a beautiful beach to enjoy and some beautiful women in bikinis to admire.

1 Comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: The Heat Wave Edition

I usually avoid talking about the weather because, more often than not, it’s the topic of last resort. However, sometimes it’s worth talking about. It wasn’t that long ago when I was snowed in for a couple days. Now, it’s hotter than a camel’s nut sack and there are only so many clothes I can legally take off.

As I type these words, everywhere within a 100-mile radius of my home is in the middle of a heat wave. I’m pretty sure I could fry an egg and cook bacon on the hood of a car. At this point in the summer, most people should be used to this kind of heat. There’s just no adjusting to the feeling of walking into an oven, just to get the damn mail.

That said, I still prefer sweating my ass off, as opposed to freezing my balls off. I like not having to dress in layers every time I go outside so I won’t complain about the heat too much. If nothing else, the heat allows me to be naked more often and that can only help the progress on my sexy novels.

Wherever you may be this summer, I hope you have a way to stay cool while still staying sexy. It is possible to strike a balance. I hope this week’s edition of “Sexy Sunday Thoughts” can help in that effort.


“I shudder when I imagine what was going through the mind of the person who invented the butt plug.”


“We’re rapidly approaching a place in our culture where liking a sexy picture of someone counts as foreplay.”


“Women don’t know the power of oral sex until they ask a favor of a man who just received it.”


“The desire to have sex in the backseat of a car often involves overestimating one’s flexibility.”


“Seeking advice from a celibate priest on your sex life is like asking a cow for advice on cooking steaks.”

“If our genitals had lawyers, then divorce proceedings would be a lot more complicated, but way sexier.”


“If a woman offers a man oral sex before a kiss, then people think she’s a prostitute. If a man offers a woman oral sex before a kiss, then people think he’s just being extra considerate.”


As we endure more heat waves, I encourage everyone to stay cool in any way, except in their pants. Some parts of your body are worth keeping warm, no matter the season. Heat waves may come in go. Certain kinds of heat will find a way to keep burning. Trust me. You’ll take comfort in that once the winter rolls in.

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Tropical Edition

Image result

If you’re reading this on a tablet computer while sitting on a beach or by a pool, then congratulations. You’re winning summer. Yes, it is possible to win at summer. It’s not that hard either, although some people still find a way to lose. A lot of those people tend to lose every other season as well so it’s not that much of a stretch.

I get it, though. Sometimes on a hot summer day, it’s tempting to just want to stay inside where the need for sunscreen is low and the air conditioner keeps you from sweating. I’ve given into that temptation plenty of times, especially in my youth when I didn’t care much for staying in shape. I’ve since learned the value of going out into the heat, sweating a little, and soaking in the summer.

I’ve often told friends and family that if I ever make enough money with my novels, then I’ll retire to a tropical climate where I have a chance to see beautiful women in bikinis all year round. However, until I reach that goal, I’ll have to settle for summer. It’s not the same as a tropical paradise, but I’ll gladly take it.

For this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts, I’d like to dedicate this small contribution of sex appeal to all those tropical beaches where the champions of summer dwell. I hope to join those ranks one day. Until then, here are some lurid thoughts that should keep the heat flowing, no matter the season.


“Misshapen breasts on a woman aren’t nearly as detrimental as a misshapen penis on a man. How is that fair?”


“Waiting until your wedding night to have sex is like waiting until you’re in the NBA to shoot your first free throw.”


“The presence of a genital piercing may or may not be correlated with significant boredom in their past sex life.”


“Technically speaking, the ultimate form of thrill sex is doing it in a police station that’s on fire.”


“Sex and desert are the only two occasions in which it’s socially acceptable to drool.”


“Your average stress levels are directly related to how concerned you are about someone seeing your browser history.”


“Sex is one of the few activities where being overly prepared can end up being counterproductive.”


Once again, if you can spend any part of the next few weeks on a beach, sipping margaritas, and wearing as little clothing as legally possible, do it. That’s one of the great joys of summer. Between heat, cool drinks, and legally permissible half-nudity, what more could you want?

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: All-Star Break Edition

This time of year is great for those who enjoy hot weather, beaches, and bikinis. For sports fans, though, it’s somewhat bittersweet because there’s not a lot going on. Other than Major League Baseball, there’s not much going on. Unless you can somehow watch golf while sober and awake, you won’t find much worth watching.

I consider myself a marginal sports fan. I love football, as I’ve mentioned before, and I’ll occasionally watch hockey and basketball. However, I don’t wake up every day eager to watch two hours of SportsCenter and play fantasy leagues. I try to save most of my passion for erotica/romance, comic books, and writing sexy novels.

That said, I do have a soft spot for baseball. It has a sentimental value to me because that’s the sport I watched most with my dad growing up. On a hot summer day, few things relax me more than a cold beer and a baseball game. To me, I couldn’t be more content in that moment without a naked bikini model on my lap.

As it just so happens, this past week had the MLB annual All-Star game, which the American League won 2-1 in a thrilling game that went into extra innings. At a time of year where most sports fans are dangerously close to sports withdraw, it’s a great reprieve.

As such, I dedicate this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts to baseball fans and sports fans in general. I hope it makes the All-Star break that much easier to endure. I also hope it can tide people over until the NFL season starts.


“In certain divorce proceedings, irreconcilable differences is just code for two people developing different levels of horniness.”


“Isn’t it ironic that some of the people who complain about others not thinking things through wouldn’t be alive if their parents hadn’t acted the same way?”


“Horniness plus romance equals passion. Horniness plus opportunity equals lust. Horniness plus ambition minus patience equals hilarity and/or disgust.”


“Practically speaking, a beautiful woman on a beach full of straight men has no excuse for being sunburned on her back.”


“For now, exotic accents are the closest thing we have to female Viagra.”


“No civilization has ever failed because its population was too sexually satisfied. Conversely, no civilization has ever succeeded for very long when it’s population is too sexually frustrated.”


“Internet porn has given an entire generation of people the impression that sex involves a lot more seething and hissing than it should.”


I hope that makes your next trip to the ball park a little more enjoyable. If nothing else, it’ll give you something think about other than the inflated price of a hot dog. I know sports typically appeal to men, but true sex appeal knows no gender. Whether it’s a ball park or a brothel, it unites us all.

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: The Final Exam Edition

https://drscdn.500px.org/photo/71639739/q%3D80_m%3D1500/fba2dde8ee592779b5abae0e2f326b1b

For millions of kids, teenagers, and underpaid teacher, this is a magical time of year. This is when the end of the school year is finally in sight. It’s no longer some distant dream or tempting thought, not unlike that of prisoners counting down the days of their sentence. Then, just when it feels like you’ll never escape, you see the light at the end of the tunnel and it’s getting so close.

It’s a wonderful, albeit agonizing feeling for some. I’ve made clear before that I despised high school. I was miserable, unhealthy, unattractive, and had the social skills of a lobotomized squirrel. I did get good grades, but that was hollow consolation at best. Had it not been for the hot teacher I had my sophomore year, I’d have done everything I could to just forget it.

I know, and sincerely hope, that my high school experience wasn’t typical. I hope it’s gotten better since I was in school. Even if school isn’t making kids too miserable right now, I’m sure some of them are still eager to get it over with and enjoy their summer. I can’t make time go faster, but I can make it feel less agonizing with a light application of crude, sexy humor.

That’s why I’m dedicating this week’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts to all those eager students and teachers who can’t start their summer vacation soon enough. To those desperately watching the clock every day, I say hang in there. It’s almost over. Let these sexy jokes help tide you over until then.


“Isn’t it somewhat hypocritical that we call our genitals junk, but spend an inordinate amount of time cleaning and caring for it?”

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/89/75/74/897574b7d8b8c82ae616fcd606ff51a1.jpg

We call our genitals a lot of crazy things. Some are cute. Some are funny. Some make no goddamn sense. I’d use a lot of words to describe my penis and how I feel about it. Junk isn’t one of them.

I don’t know where this came from. I don’t know why it’s funny. Maybe it’s just the erotica/romance writer in me, but the way we treat our genitals is serious. If we treat them like junk, our weekend isn’t just ruined. Our entire species is in danger. Think about that next time you call your nether regions junk.


“When you think about it, bondage has unique appeal to those who lazy and unmotivated.”

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/db/b2/06/dbb20605edd303df7f72299bb8428de7.jpg

I’m sure there are all sorts of complex, psychological underpinnings behind bondage and BDSM. I’ve even talked about a few of them. Sometimes, though, there doesn’t need to be some complex mental gymnastics to explain why some enjoy it. Sometimes, something as simple as laziness can fill in the blanks.

Think about it. If you’re on the receiving end of bondage, you don’t have to do anything. You can’t. You just have to stay tied up while your partner does all the work. For those who sucked at gym class, I can see how that would appeal to certain people.


“When you think about it, those who use elaborate costumes to get in the mood are just taking the scenic route to O-Town.”

https://i2.wp.com/i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/03/02/263D82D200000578-2975434-image-a-2_1425294350430.jpg

I’m often astonished by the time and effort some people put into their cos-play costumes for comic book conventions. I’m just as astonished/aroused by the time and effort some people put into their kinky sex costumes. Just go to any gay pride parade and marvel at the intricacies of their attire.

Some would argue that such effort into such a basic act is a waste. I disagree. In the same way we sometimes take the scenic route to the same destination, it’s just one of the many ways to enjoy the process of sex and not just the outcome. As an aspiring erotica/romance writer, that sort of thing brings tears of joy to my eyes.


“There are certain beautiful women who look at hot gay guys and see it as a challenge.”

https://i2.wp.com/davidatlanta.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/1411414662000-RICKY-SONY-MUSIC.jpg

Back in the late 90s, Ricky Martin was the hottest piece of man meat on the planet. I would see grown women pick up a magazine with his image on the cover and go into a semi-orgasmic frenzy. It was a strange, but interesting time, at least in the sense when magazines were still relevant.

When he turned out to be gay, that disappointed a lot of women. Some of them, however, weren’t dissuaded. Some of them actually said out loud, in public, and in a sober state of mind that they could change that and not in the “Pray Away the Gay” sort of way either.

I don’t know if it’s ego or frustration, but those women kind of scared me. They thought they could mentally coerce a man into wanting to have sex with her. As a man, I know that if someone needs convincing to get horny around someone, then it’s just not meant to be.


“Some people are willing to accept alternative facts, but would probably draw the line at alternative orgasms.”

https://youalreadyknowwhoitis.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/o-face1.jpg?w=500

A lot of people roll their eyes at “alternative facts,” but will make every excuse to use them when it suits their agenda. I generally don’t argue with these people. They’re not going to be convinced otherwise. I just smile to myself and imagine what would happen if they used that same approach to their sex lives. I’m pretty sure their excuses would fail them.


“When someone spits on us, it’s disgusting. When we willingly lick the spit out of their mouths during a kiss, it’s romantic.”

https://i0.wp.com/valentinedayimazes.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Happy-Kiss-Day-104.jpg

This is another one of those odd quirks in our social behavior. When you hate someone, you spit on them to demonstrate your hatred. It’s widely accepted as one of the most hateful things you can do to a person or group.

Conversely, if you’re with someone you love, one way you express that love is to rub your lips and tongues together. You’re practically slurping up their spit. That’s love while the other is hate. Does anyone else see an inherent disconnect there?


“A woman who says she likes exotic accents is just saying politely that all the men from her hometown are assholes.”

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/jamesbond/images/e/e6/Bond_-_Sean_Connery_-_Profile.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130217190224

I don’t deny it. Accents are sexy. Few things soak a woman’s panties than a foreign man with an exotic accent. Why else would so many women still want to have sex with Sean Connery?

I get it. Exotic things can be sexy. At the same time, however, I also think a woman who really loves exotic accents is saying something about the men from her hometown, albeit indirectly. If she has to look to another country to find a man to make her horny, then I think that says more about the men she’s known than it does her.


I hope that put a smile on your face or a awkward boner in your pants. Either way, you’re welcome. Again, I know it’s not going those last few days of school any less painful. That pain will pass though. If I can survive with my sanity somewhat intact, then anyone can.

1 Comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Mother’s Day Edition

Today is a very special day. Today, we give thanks to the wonderful women who enjoyed having sex enough that they lovingly conceived us in their wombs. Yes, it’s Mother’s Day. Then again, anyone who willingly carries another human in their bodies for nine months deserves way more than just a card and breakfast in bed.

No matter how you spin it, moms are a big part of our lives. Why else would MILF porn be so popular? Moms give birth to us. Moms nurture us. Moms willingly let us suckle on their nipples and receive nourishment. They are the only ones who can actually make tits more amazing than they already are. That’s an accomplishment.

I love my mom. I try to make that love and appreciation clear every time I see her. She’s been a wonderful influence on me my whole life. Considering that I was miserable, self-loathing little shit at times, I can’t help but marvel at the breadth of such love. She really is that amazing. No offense to Gal Gadot, but she is the real Wonder Woman of my life.

She knows what I do. She’s been very encouraging since I began writing all those years ago. She, my father, and my family have given me more support than I ever could’ve hoped for as I pursue my dream of being an erotica/romance writer. So to my mom and all the other wonderful moms out there, I thank you.

As such, I’m proud to dedicate this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts to my mom and all the other moms out there. Thank you for giving us life. Thank you for having the sex that conceived us. We hope that was an especially satisfying experience, just as I hope these crude comments are especially funny.


“The sight of boobs makes boys hungry as babies. The sight of boobs makes men act stupid as adults. Does that count as irony?”

https://i0.wp.com/www.capitalfm.co.ke/campus/files/2013/07/breastspeep.jpg

I’m not sure if this counts as irony or a paradox. Maybe it’s a fluke of biology or part of some deep-seated psychological imprint that develops in the minds of men. Maybe it’s just our caveman brain’s inability to differentiate between hunger and horniness, which I’ve talked about before.

Whatever the case, the results are the same. Boobs make baby boys hungry. Boobs make grown men act stupid. When I was in New York City last year, I walked past a number of topless women in Times Square. I could feel my brain power temper so that it could process the beauty of expose breasts. Ironic or not, men think boobs are awesome at any age is what I’m saying.


“Those who say sex is an itch that needs to be scratched has clearly never had a nasty mosquito bite on their balls.”

I’d rather not go into too much detail about this. There’s a reason I know what it feels like to have a mosquito bite on unusual parts of my body. I do not want to tell that story. I’ll just say that those who make light of a mere itch are woefully misinformed about how sensitive certain parts of their body really are.


“Massages can be equally sexy for both genders, but they’re always more messy for one gender in particular.”

https://i2.wp.com/cdn.skim.gs/image/upload/v1456342060/msi/couple-massage_ckfz3n.jpg

Who doesn’t love a good sensual massage? It’s one of the few sexy acts that can be both deeply romantic and overtly pornographic. It has everything you need for sex appeal. There’s intimate touching, relaxing sensations, and plenty of potential for romantic affection.

If done right, a massage can be an orgasmic experience and then some. That said, it can get messy, especially if you’re very generous with the massage oil. It also tends to get messy for one particular gender, namely the one that requires tissues and baby wipes. It’s just basic biology.

Ask anyone who’s had to clean up that mess though. They’ll say it’s worth it.


“A man can’t say he’s in love with a woman until he willingly buys her tampons. A woman can’t say she’s in love with a man until she willingly fixes a toilet he clogged.”

https://i1.wp.com/static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Tampon_Run_Picture1_8555.jpg

There are many ways to test just how in love you are with your partner. Having similar tastes in movies, food, and underwear certainly help, but true intimacy can sometimes manifest in less obvious ways.

The way I see it, if you’re willing to accept the less flattering traits of someone, then your love definitely has some meat to it. A man who buys feminine hygine products and a woman who deals with a man’s bathroom habits can rightly claim they’ve achieved a level of intimacy that goes beyond rubbing body parts together.


“A true test of trust is letting someone else shave your pubic hair.”

https://i0.wp.com/www.shefinds.com/files/2015/06/bikiniline.jpg

Think about it. Shaving your nether regions is a dangerous and risky endeavor. One wrong move and your weekend is ruined, among other things. It’s hard enough to trust your own hands to tend to your most sensitive body parts. Trusting someone else to do it takes something special. It’s actually kind of romantic when you think about it.


“When a woman flashes her tits outside a strip club, is it undermining the efforts of hard-working strippers or does it count as free advertising?”

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2031384.1417609688!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/ambulance4n-3-web.jpg

This kind of confuses me. When I was in Las Vegas, there was a topless woman giving out flyers for a strip club. She had great tits herself so it seemed kind of redundant. Why advertise for something in a way that gives the customer what they want from the outset?

Then again, maybe it was a free sample of sorts. Maybe that woman understood that when a man sees one pair of tits, he wants to see more. In that sense, her ploy was pretty brilliant.


“Would prostitution be less taboo if they were reclassified as sexual trainers?”

https://i1.wp.com/www.zerohedge.com/sites/default/files/images/user5/imageroot/prostitutes.jpg

There are all sorts of taboos surrounding prostitution. When you’re the world’s oldest profession, the simple law of averages ensure it’s bound to happen. I get why women wouldn’t want their lovers to see prostitutes. It works the other way too. I’m sure men don’t want their girlfriends drooling over male strippers.

So rather than make this another source of conflict, why not turn it into something productive? Why not reclassify prostitutes, male and female alike, as trainers with which we refine our sex skills? The prostitutes get money. Ordinary people are trained by professionals to make love to our partners more effectively. Everybody wins.


Once again, thanks to all the moms out there for being the wonderful women they are. If you can, do something special for the woman that bore you. She’s more than earned it.

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Opening Day Edition

https://jackfisherbooks.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/d2a7c-sexy-philadelphia-phillies-fan-16.jpg?w=500

This weekend is a glorious weekend for a certain type of sports fans. Baseball, the great American past-time, has returned and for the first time since the days of the Ottoman Empire, the Chicago Cubs are defending world champions. That alone is something to marvel at.

I know it’s an odd combination, a man being a fan of both erotica/romance and sports. I love many kinds of sports. I certainly hope I’ve made my love of football abundantly clear. I also have a soft spot for baseball. One of my favorite summer activities is to come home from a long day of writing erotica/romance, pop open a cold beer, and watch a ballgame. I won’t say it’s as great as sex, but it’s still pretty darn great.

It’s also personal for me. I played baseball as a kid. I also loved playing catch with my dad in the back yard. Baseball is full of all sorts of fond, happy memories for me. That’s why I’m more than happy to dedicate this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the new baseball season. Here’s to hoping we all hit a home run.


https://i.ytimg.com/vi/31-_6PYXyrc/maxresdefault.jpg

“A woman with a great butt appeals to many grown men. A woman with great tits appeals to both grown men and infants. Advantage: great tits.”

It’s a debate as old as civilization. Which is sexier, butts or breast? Many heated debates and bar fights have erupted over this debate. Men and women are so fond or proud of both. It may very well be an unwinnable argument.

That said, when it comes down to pure numbers, tits have the edge. A great butt is beautiful and all, but it won’t feed a crying infant. That’s an advantage that even the roundest, sexiest of butts can never match.


https://www.mazech.com/3[22].jpg

“In retrospect, we’re grateful that our parents had sex to make us. However, we still get queasy when we think about how much they enjoyed it. Does that make us hypocrites?”

It’s another instance where our built-in gag reflex keeps us from appreciating how we came to be. Face it, our parents had to have sex in order for us to exist. Chances are, they probably enjoyed it too. The fact that they enjoyed making us should make us feel proud and loved.

Even so, a part of us still twinges at the idea of our parents enjoying the beautiful act that gave us life. Does that count as hypocrisy? Given the reflexive nature of it all, I’m not sure. I just hope that my parents did enjoy making me. If my stomach hates me for that sentiment, then so be it.


https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1wyxoKFXXXXa2XXXXq6xXFXXXd/String-Underwear-Women-font-b-Pink-b-font-font-b-Sexy-b-font-font-b-Thong.jpg

“Most people tend not to wonder who invented thong underwear. We’re more curious about why it took so damn long in the first place.”

Some inventions aren’t a matter of necessity. Some aren’t even a matter of practicality either. They’re just a natural byproduct of human ingenuity. The rock, the hammer, and the nail certainly qualify as such. I would also put thong underwear in that category too.

For as long as there have been humans, there have been efforts to augment the sexier parts of our bodies. Sometimes it involved fancy gowns. Sometimes it involved cod-pieces. However, it’s easy to imagine someone in any era imagining something like thong underwear.


https://tomatoheart.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/fear-of-nudity-tomatoheart.jpg

“In a literal sense, we treat public nudity the same way we treat spam email. We’re eager to remove it the second we see it.”

I hate spam email. We all do. It deserves to be hated. It’s one of those things we instinctively attack the moment we see it. When it comes to nudity, though, I think those instincts are misguided.

I’ve said before that I’m a fan of nudity. I think the world would be a better place if we allowed and celebrated more nudity. At the moment, though, nudity triggers this instinct in all to be appalled by it. I don’t think that’s healthy or natural. I intend to fight that instinct as best I can with my novels.


https://i0.wp.com/www.themost10.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Women-Love-Money.jpg

“If money makes certain women horny, then do they consider large alimony checks a form of extended afterglow?”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying all women are gold-diggers looking to plunder a man’s wallet using the full force of draconian marriage/divorce laws. However, there are some women who take that practice to extreme levels.

The prize of those extremes are a fat alimony check from some rich guy who wanted to have sex with a beautiful woman and had the necessary resources to do so. By any measure, that’s not a bad prize. Considering sex was needed to get it, I do wonder how afterglow applies.


https://www.exposingtruth.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/pros232.jpg

“Men don’t like to think of themselves as whores, but still pride themselves on their ability to sell their skills.”

I find it odd, and a little ironic, that men use the term whore as an insult. However, when it comes to selling their skills and their abilities to the highest bidder, the only difference between them and a classic whore is the absence of boob jobs. When you think about it, being a whore and being successful go hand-in-hand. They both require the same skill. One just requires the exchange of more body fluids.


https://i2.wp.com/www.hooch.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/36hiddendirtydisney.jpg

“Softcore porn is to adults what Saturday morning cartoons are to kids. In addition, hardcore porn is to adults what classic Disney movies are to kids.”

I loved Saturday morning cartoons as a kid. They were a simple, basic pleasure that put a smile on my face. When I discovered softcore porn on premium cable, I discovered another simple, basic pleasure that gave me a similar smile.

Like many kids, I also enjoyed Disney movies. They always raised the bar for cartoons, story, and drama. In that sense, hardcore porn had a similar effect on me as an adult. It raised the bar for what put a smile on my face. It’s kind of poetic when you think about it.


https://cdn.shutterstock.com/shutterstock/videos/1321792/thumb/1.jpg

“When you think about it, a lesbian gynecologist is the most motivated doctor in all of medicine.”

We’re all motivated when it comes to our jobs. If we’re not, then chances are we won’t keep that job for very long. That’s why it’s important to find a job we’re highly motivated to do and do well.

By that standard, who could possibly be more motivated than a lesbian gynecologist? Seriously, I dare anyone to find a job where the incentives are that personal and that strong.


That’s it for now. Now get out there, buy yourself some peanuts and cracker jacks, and enjoy a ball game. If you’re alone at home, clothes are entirely optional. I think you all know which option I’ll be exercising.? Man

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts