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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Heat Wave (And No Pool) Edition

As I write these words, it’s over 93 degrees out and it’s not even noon. It’s also the third day and a row we’ve had that kind of heat. In my book, that qualifies as a full-blown heat wave. That, in and of itself, isn’t too shocking. It’s July. It’s the middle of summer. It’s going to get hot out. Most people in my area expected that.

However, most people didn’t expect to endure a heat wave in the middle of a goddamn pandemic. That does change things considerably in terms of how we handle it.

In the past, a heat wave was no big deal. It was just a valid reason for me to grab a stack of comics, put on my swim trunks, and hang out by the pool for an afternoon. If the pool was too crowded, I sometimes caught up with some friends, went to a movie, and ate ice cream while watching the latest summer blockbuster. Those were good times. They made you forget about the heat.

Now, very little of that is an option. Every pool in my area is either closed or operating at a limited capacity. Every movie theater is still closed. Most of the restaurants I go to are either closed, only doing delivery, or operating at partial capacity. I’m not saying there are no ways of beating the heat, but it is a lot harder now.

It’s just one of the many things that the pandemic has killed. At the very least, nobody has a right to judge you for walking around your home in your underwear or naked. If ever there was a time to give someone a pass, it’s now. Beating the heat is harder in 2020, but here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help inspire that effort. Enjoy!


“High risks for high rewards tend to inspire the kinkiest kinks.”


“Thrill sex is basically a pop quiz for your genitals.”


“Unattractive people who aren’t rich, but still get laid are more talented than any professional athlete.”


“Any technology that makes sex safer is going to make couples kinkier by default.”


“The fact that idiots often have kids is proof that our genitals are more cunning than our brains.”


“A couple that regularly works on their oral sex skills is a couple who truly love each other.”


“Not wearing a mask during a pandemic is like wearing a mini-skirt without panties.”


Heat waves are a pain to deal with, even when you have air conditioning. There are still ways to manage. I’ve grown fond of getting a cooler full of beer, sitting out on my porch, and reading comics on my iPad. I encourage everyone to get just as creative. This heat wave will pace. This pandemic will pass. When it does, it helps us appreciate the simpler things in life that much more.

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Apologies For A Post That Did NOT Age Well

We all say, do, or write things that don’t age well and it’s not just because of cancel culture. Sometimes, you just do things that turn out to be dead wrong. It happens. It’s distressing, uncomfortable, and frustrating. It’s also unavoidable. We’re all fallible humans. We’re going to be wrong every now and then. It’s just a matter of degree.

To that end, I’d like to admit my own major error. I probably could’ve just casually ignored this, but I think it’s better that I confront this now rather than later. Back in late February, I wrote something about the coronavirus. Without getting into every detail on that piece, I’ll just say this. I was wrong. I was very, very wrong and I apologize.

For the full story and context, here’s a link and an excerpt.

A (Hopeful) Perspective On The Coronavirus

There’s another perspective worth considering when following the news of the coronavirus. Unlike the devastating plagues of the past, humanity has developed a decent infrastructure for medicine, technology, and research. Granted, it took us centuries of trial, error, and mass death and there’s still plenty of room for improvement, but that system is there. It’s better than nothing. Just ask Medieval Europe.

That system is already doing its job in combating the virus. Already, researchers at the University of Texas in Austin have mapped out critical portions of the virus. That sort of thing couldn’t have been done this quickly or at all just 30 years ago. This data is critical for the development of treatments and, ultimately, a vaccine.

The fact that this happened so quickly after the outbreak is something the news hasn’t reported on. Even if treatments develop and the virus is contained, as we’ve seen with other recent outbreaks, it probably won’t be a huge story within the ever-changing news cycle.

It almost seems quaint. I come off as so hopeful that this isn’t going to be a major issue. This isn’t going to utterly break the world and turn 2020 into a devolving mess of frustration, misery, and outrage. Usually, my optimism helps me navigate tough times, but optimism doesn’t do squat against a global pandemic.

This isn’t a renegade hashtag.

This isn’t some juicy celebrity scandal.

This isn’t even some horrific terrorist attack that brings out the best and worst and people.

Global pandemics are different. They don’t give a damn about politics, economic trends, social trends, or when baseball season is supposed to start. It’s a mindless disease and it’s killing us. Even at my most cynical, I never imagined it could cause this much suffering and death. Now, as a fresh spike in cases is starting to take hold, what I wrote in February only seems more foolish.

As such, I sincerely apologize. I was wrong. I had no idea it was going to get this bad. If you read that article and took comfort in it at the time, I’m very sorry.

I’m still trying to cling to some semblance of optimism. I do believe that this crisis, like many others before it, will pass. It’s just going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: (The Day After) 4th Of July 2020 Edition

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I know it’s a day late, but I’ll say it anyway.

Happy Birthday, America!

As I write this, I’m still digesting large amounts of burgers, hot dogs, and beer. I feel like I did my patriotic duty, celebrating my country in my own special way. Granted, there were no big gatherings or fireworks this year and for obvious reasons. That didn’t keep me from celebrating, nor should it prevent anyone else from doing the same.

Whether it’s just some barbecue or re-watching some of your favorite patriotic movies, everyone celebrates their country in their own special way. Now, I understand that celebrating this country hasn’t been easy this year. I’m not ignorant of the news or America’s less-than-flattering history. I freely admit that America has its flaws.

However, there’s a time to focus on those flaws and there’s a time to focus on the ideals that we strive for. The 4th of July is the latter. I’m a firm believer in those ideals. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness isn’t just a good bumper sticker. It’s a guiding principle for a free country. I believe in pursuing those principles. I believe they’re worth fighting for and striving for.

Yes, we still have a long way to go in living up to those ideals, but that’s what makes the 4th of July great. It allows us to celebrate how far we’ve come. Make no mistake. We have made progress. It’s never as much as we wish, but progress is still progress. It’s worth celebrating and I hope everyone had a chance to do so. Hopefully, these Sexy Sunday Thoughts can put you in a patriotic mood. Enjoy!


“Whoever said that ignorance was bliss probably had a very unsatisfied lover.”


“Drunk sex is never as fun as drunk foreplay.”


“Horniness is nature’s less threatening way of motivating lazy people.”


“When you think about it, faking orgasms is one of the oldest forms of fake news.”


“Friends with benefits can become very complicated when one friend has a weird kink.”


“There’s a non-zero chance you’ve sat in the back seat of the car where you were conceived.”


“As a general rule, you should put as much effort into hiding your sex toys as you do your porn stash.”


This year has been a big test for America and the world, as a whole. There’s no denying that. When we look back on these trying times, we’ll see our strengths as well as our weaknesses. Hopefully, we’ll learn from them. They’ll become hard lessons on the path of pursuing those American ideals. Having lived through them, we’ll all be stronger and better as a result.

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A (Real) Story About Temptation, Peer Pressure, And Spicy Chicken Wings

I love spicy food. I make no secret of that. I’m the kind of guy who gets weird looks at a restaurant when I put buffalo sauce on potatoes. Some think it’s strange and a little unappetizing. I refuse to apologize for it.

As much as I love spicy food, I have my limits. There is such a thing as too spicy for me. I’ve had chicken wings dipped in sauce that caused me to run to the nearest sink and pour cold water on my head. I learned early on in my diet that there’s a fine line between spicy food and devil spit. I’ve since become quite capable at walking that line whenever I order chicken wings.

I’m glad I did because when it comes to spicy food, you don’t want to learn the hard way how hot it can get. While there are real methods for gauging the spiciness of a food, namely the Scoville Scale, there’s only so much numbers can tell you. For some people, the dangers of using a sauce that measures 1,000,000 Scoville units just doesn’t register.

Those people are destined to learn the hard way how much spice they can handle. As it just so happens, I have a story about one of those people that I’d like to share.

With summer upon us and barbecue foods dominating our dishes, I think the time is right for a quick reminder of what happens when spicy foods go too far. It was also around this time of year that a former co-worker of mine learned just how far it can go and paid the price.

To set the stage, this happened at one of my first jobs out of college. I’d been at this company for about a year or so. I’d made some good connections and quality friends. One of them was a fun-loving guy who I’ll call Derek, out of respect for his privacy. When you see how this story plays out, you’ll appreciate that.

Derek was a lot more extroverted than me. I was still coming out of my social awkwardness shell from high school. This guy, who was also fresh out of college, just loved hanging out and connecting with people. He frequently led other co-workers to nearby restaurants for beers and wings after long days at the office. Sometimes, I attended. Most of the time, I didn’t.

As it just so happens, one of the nearest restaurants to the office I worked at was a well-known buffalo wing place. Like many wing places, they had a broad selection of spicy wings to choose from. One, in particular, was so hot that you had to sign a waiver before ordering it. They called it the Widowmaker. It was said to use the infamous Ghost Peppers in its sauce, but the specifics were a well-kept secret.

I can’t remember too many people who dared to try it. For reasons that are still the stuff of legend, Derek decided to take the plunge one fateful evening after a long day at the office. I can’t get into too many specifics. I’ll just say that there was a considerable amount of beer and peer pressure involved.

To the credit, and chagrin, of my co-workers, they cheered him on. They offered to pay for the entire tab that night if he took up the challenge. It took surprisingly little convincing. Derek wasn’t even that drunk. He’d had only one beer at that point. He still signed the waiver and ordered the Widowmaker.

He was excited.

He was determined.

He claimed he could handle spicy foods better than most.

He would come to regret that boast.

When the Widowmaker wings came out, he was so confident. He looked like he was ready to take on the heavyweight champ in a boxing match. My co-workers were still cheering. He prepared himself mentally. It was a tense moment for everyone involved. He wanted to go down in history as one of the select few who’d finished those wings.

Then, he took his first big bite and swallowed quickly. It turned out to be his last of the evening.

The details after this get a bit fuzzy, but he went from determined to defeated in the blink of an eye. One second, he had the eye of the tiger. The next, it looked like he’d been punched in the jaw, gut, and balls by Mike Tyson on crack. He keeled over, started coughing, and started chugging ice water by the gallon.

Some laughed. Others cringed. A few had to help him to the bathroom so he could wipe the sweat and snot from his face. Needless to say, we all figured out why the restaurant demanded that people sign a waiver.

Derek didn’t come into work the next day. He claimed he needed a sick day. I think his pride was the only thing seriously ill after that experience. He also claimed that he had to stay within 10 feet of a toilet for the day. I don’t doubt him.

When he did come back, he was in good spirits. My co-workers did apologize profusely for goading him into eating the Widowmaker, but he just smiled and accepted. I think in hindsight, it was a humbling experience for him. It’s the kind of experience I think we all need at some point in our lives. Some are just more painful than others. This was one of them.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Lovable Losers Edition

wrong-guy

Everybody loves a winner. Everyone loves being a winner. That’s a fact of life. People are always going to be more inclined to cheer for the team that wins the championship. Their feats are more impressive. It’s easy for them to show their worth. Being a winner proves that by default. They don’t need much luck when it comes to attracting the sexier kind of attention.

At the same time, there’s room for the losers. Depending on how they conduct themselves, they can be lovable and attractive in their own unique way. It’s not just because we have a tendency to root for the underdog. A lovable loser is someone who really strives to push themselves, but just can’t get around a particular barrier or obstacle.

People have limits. Sometimes, it’s a product of talent. Sometimes, it’s an matter of circumstances. Whatever the reason, a loser can be lovable when they put up a fight. Even if they can’t come out on top, they can still say they gave it their all. Cowards are rarely attractive, but someone who loses after fighting with all their heart will still be respectable.

Losing is one of those things that really reveals who someone is. A good loser will learn from their mistakes and work to get better. A bad loser will whine about it and blame others. In terms of finding someone worth loving, the former has more to offer than the latter. To all those who lose, yet still learn, these Sexy Sunday Thoughts are for them. Enjoy!


“Learning to make your lover orgasm is the only gift that literally keeps on giving.”


“If you can’t trust someone with your Wi-Fi password, then you can’t trust them to touch your genitals.”


“Finding the right lover requires a willingness to embarrass yourself in the name of romance.”


“For those with a good sense of humor, laughter is both the best medicine and the best aphrodisiac.”


“Whoever deemed patience a virtue probably had a frustrating sex life.”


“Money can’t buy love, but it enables us to be horny in luxury.”


“Statistically speaking, you’re likely to find someone who appreciates oral sex at a dentist’s office.”


Champions will make the case that winning is everything. At a certain level, that’s true. At others, it’s just the primary goal. Many will try. Only a few will win. Most of us will lose in any endeavor we take on. It’s just a matter of how we navigate it and how we learn from it. That ultimately reveals the kind of person we are and, when handled honorably, it can attract others for all the right reasons.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Father’s Day 2020 Edition

father-dad-parent

I’ve said it before. I’ll keep saying it whenever I get the opportunity. This just happens to be a better opportunity than most. It’s Father’s Day again. That means I can once again stand atop the highest mountain and proclaim to the world one simple truth.

My dad is awesome!

I say that knowing he’ll probably read this at some point. I genuinely hope he reads it today. Yes, I know the subject matter of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts can be quite seamy. I don’t care. I’m still going to use this as an opportunity to remind the world that my dad is the absolute best. There are many ways he’s earned that right. I’ve shared a few, but there are too many for me to put into words.

On Father’s Day, I just try to remind him of how great he is. I am the man I am because of him. He taught me, guided me, and loved me as much as any father could. I didn’t always make it easy for him. Looking back, I realize that I was a difficult child at times. I tested my father on numerous occasions, but he always passed with flying colors.

He was patient, understanding, strong, caring, compassionate, kind, and a whole host of other words that aren’t in a thesaurus. As a kid, you don’t always appreciate it. As an adult, you just love him even more. Dad, whenever you do get around to reading this, know that you really are that awesome. These Father’s Day edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts are for you. Enjoy!


“Most romantic gestures function as an indirect effort to give someone an orgasm.”


“You can’t be be kinky without a certain mix of bravery and imagination.”


“Pity sex is the only reason cowards haven’t gone extinct.”


“When you think about it, marriage only exists as an institution because we don’t trust people with their own genitals.”


“Awkward boners take on a very different meaning in nudist colonies.”


“A handsome man will never get laid as often as a trashy woman.”


“Is a threeway with identical twins still a threeway?”


To all the other awesome fathers out there, of which there are many, I hope you use this day to celebrate. You’ve earned it. Your kids might not always understand you and you might not always understand them. Even so, a father’s love is special and worthy of celebrating.

Happy Father’s Day!

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Secret Freak Edition

preview

What’s the difference between sweet talking and flirting? It’s a question I wish I’d asked as a teenager because knowing the difference really would’ve helped. Flirting is somewhat impersonal. It’s basically someone advertising their desire for a companion. You can use the same words, tone, and demeanor on multiple people and it will still make sense.

Sweet talking is different. Sweet talk is more intimate and personal. It’s the kind of thing you do with someone when you know what gets their heart beating faster. It’s not something you can just do with anyone. You have to know the person on some level. You have to have that shared desire forge a more intimate connection.

It not quite as intimate as physical intimacy, but it’s pretty damn close. It often acts as a catalyst to that level of intimacy. It’s not just what you say to someone. It’s how you say it. With the right tone and demeanor, it can turn a romantic situation into something very seamy. Whenever I’m writing novels or sexy short stories, it’s one of the best parts to explore.

Sweet talk is something that’s unique to every couple. There’s no wrong way to do it. Just find the right words and tone that works with your lover. From there, let the sexy romantic moments unfold. Here are a fresh crop of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help further that effort. Enjoy!


“A rich man can buy love, but a man who loves giving oral sex is more likely to earn it for free.”


“We’re more likely to make peace with or be enslaved by an alien species that we can have sex with.”


“On some levels, being really attracted to someone makes us act like a stripper.”


“Afterglow is nature’s way of tipping our species for surviving.”


“Fairy tale romances are the hardcore porn of love stories.”


“There are many stories about love at first sight, but not nearly enough about love at first orgasm.”


“Someone who is really turned on by obedience should probably be vetted before owning a pet.”


We’re all turned on by different things. We all have romantic senses that are triggered by different words. Part of the fun of connecting with people is learning those quirks. When we find someone who can sweet talk us into something sexy, it’s a beautiful thing. If you’re lucky enough to have someone, embrace it. If you don’t, then that special someone is worth finding.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Secret Freak Edition

woman-desire-sex

It’s an old cliché, but it’s not entirely wrong. There are people in this world who are sweet, shy, and timid in public. In private, though, they are full-blown sex freaks. There’s a good chance you’ve encountered one in your life and not realized their freaky side. Some people just prefer to keep that side of themselves behind closed doors and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’ve known a few people like that. I knew a girl in college who was very sweet and soft-spoken in most public settings, but once you got her in a private setting, she had the kind of dirty mouth that would make a sailor blush. When she got excited, she got extra vulgar. It really turned her on. She might not have been fun to hang out with in public, but in private she was her own party.

That girl knew how to balance it out. Some, unfortunately, aren’t quite as adept. There’s a fine line between being a freak in private and being so repressed that you just go crazy once you’re behind closed doors. That’s not healthy. That can be mentally taxing on someone and their partner.

I’m of the opinion that we all need balance. Some just prefer a broad range of balance. Being a freak in private and shy in public is just one way to go about it. As long as you have someone to be a freak with, then I say embrace it. Have fun with it. Hell, get creative with it. I hope these Sexy Sunday Thoughts inspire just that.


“A man with a small penis will always be more motivated when it comes to giving oral sex.”


“Romance is basically a means of preheating your lover’s genitals.”


“Depending on the situation, sleeping with your teacher can count as both extra credit and detention.”


“For those who love peace and quiet, afterglow can be as satisfying as an orgasm.”


“Finding your lover’s G-spot is the sexual equivalent of computer hacking.”


“Money will increase your chances of getting laid, but power skews the odds entirely.”


“People fear what they don’t understand, but are often turned on by the possibilities.”


We all have a public persona and a private persona to some extent. For some, there’s little variation. For others, it’s downright extreme. The secret freaks of this world understand that better than most. If they’re lucky, they’ll find someone as freaky as them. That’s a beautiful foundation for romance if ever there was one.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Muscular Manly Arms Edition

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When a man wants to flaunt how strong he is, he usually starts with his arms. It’s not the greatest source of strength or sex appeal, but it is one of the most prominent, especially for men. Regardless of how you feel about gender politics, one of the most defining traits a man can display is his muscles. The muscles in his arms just happen to be most prominent.

It’s often a gauge of how strong you are, how hard you’ve worked out, and how well you’ve been taking care of yourself. I know because I used that gauge when I started working out. After getting a healthy cardio going, I managed to lose some belly fat and assorted pudge. In doing so, however, I realized just how ropy my arms were.

That’s when the heavy lifting began. I’m not going to lie. My arms were pretty weak when I started. I could barely handle more than 15-pound dumb bells. Over time, that changed. As I got stronger, my arms got bigger. As my arms got bigger, I could lift heavier weights. Eventually, they got to a size where I could actually show them off. As vain as that sounds, it felt pretty good.

Strong arms go beyond aesthetics. When you embrace your lover, showing a little strength conveys powerful sex appeal. When someone is in a pair of powerful arms, they feel safe and loved. It’s one of the sexiest feelings you can share. It’s certainly worthy of some Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!


“Logically speaking, a control freak is least likely to suffer from premature ejaculation.”


“A part of finding love is finding someone you’re comfortable being horny around.”


“If you can effectively lick a popsicle, then you can give a man oral sex.”


“Some forms of BDSM are just extreme forms of enforcing manners.”


“Hand-jobs are the cheap breakfast burritos of sex.”


“There’s a good chance you’ve encountered someone in the past week just after they finished masturbating.”


“If the pursuit of hot sex were a game, then thoughtful gifts are akin to cheat codes.”


Now that summer is upon us, now is a good time to flaunt those muscular arms if you have them. If you don’t, it’s not too late to start working on them. There are many kinds of strength that add to your sex appeal. A pair of strong, muscular arms is just one of the most obvious.

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The Real Psychological Benefits Of Wearing A Suit

When I was a kid, I hated wearing a suit or dressing up in anything fancier than a pair of jeans. I didn’t even like it when I was a teenager. I always found fancy clothes like dress shirts and dress slacks to be uncomfortable. I couldn’t for the life of me find a dress shirt that didn’t itch terribly. As a result, there’s a significant portion of my life during which I rarely dressed up in a professional manner.

That eventually changed after college. To some extent, it had to change. I needed to get a job to pay off my student loan debts. There was no way I could sell enough sexy novels that quickly. At the same time, it changed because my mentality about suits and professional attire changed.

Specifically, I felt a real, psychological impact whenever I put on a suit and it a noticeably good way. The way I felt when I wore a suit was not the same as when I wore jeans and a T-shirt. I also conducted myself differently. I was more social, confident, and focused. In essence, I was a lot more professional.

Now, I knew what it meant to be professional. That’s something both my parents instilled in me at a young age. However, it wasn’t until I started wearing a suit and going into professional environments that I really appreciated it. At first, I didn’t attribute that attitude entirely to wearing a suit. Over the years, I’ve noticed that the mere act of wearing a suit has an effect on me.

It didn’t happen all at once, but I certainly felt it. One moment that really stood out happened just a few months after I graduated college. I was looking for a job and I was set to visit a job fair. To prepare, my parents purchased a $250 suit for me, complete with tailoring. It was, by far, the most expensive attire I ever wore.

At the time, I didn’t think it made much difference. In hindsight, it might have been the best $250 my parents ever spent on me. I vividly remember the day I put that suit on and left for the job fair. Before I walked out the door, I met up with my younger brother. I asked him how I looked and I appeared employable. He gave me this big grin that still makes me smile to this day.

I left feeling more confident than nervous, which was a huge shift at the time for me. I went to that job fair and I can safely say the suit made a huge difference. People came up to me, giving me their business cards and asking about me. I didn’t bring much, other than several copies of my resume. I ended up having to make more because I gave so many of them out.

The way people acted around me was remarkable. In my mind, I was still a college guy. To that point, that’s how everyone treated me. When I had that suit on, though, I wasn’t just some inexperienced kid. I was an aspiring professional on the lookout for new opportunities. Even if it was purely superficial, it gave me the confidence to conduct myself in a professional manner.

That effect continued, long after I got a job. I’ve worked in places that had casual dress codes, including one that allowed people to wear jeans and T-shirts every day. I’ve also worked in places that require a suit and tie every day, even on “casual” Friday. While the places with casual dress codes were usually more laid back, the professional attire seemed to keep everyone focused.

I can safely say that I feel more productive when I’m wearing a suit. My mind is more focused. I have more energy that I’m able to channel into whatever it is I’m doing. Even if the quality work is the same, the efficiency with which I do it is greater. On top of that, I look really good in a suit. That’s always a plus.

That’s another unexpected benefit. Outside a work environment, wearing a suit just makes you look better. As a man, I feel more attractive when I wear one of my suits. Women do take notice, too. I once wore a suit to a strip club. The women definitely treated me differently than other times when I just dressed causal. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say those details mattered.

I understand that not everyone likes wearing a suit. Some people don’t even experience any of the benefits that I just described. I get that. Everyone is wired differently. For me, and many other men, there’s a real psychological benefit to wearing a nice suit. It’s something that I’ve come to appreciate. It’s a part of my overall sense of style.

I may not know much about fashion. I just know that I look better, feel better, and conduct myself better in so many facets when I’m wearing a suit. To all the young men out there who despise fancy clothes, like I once did, I encourage you to give it a chance. You might be surprised by how a nice suit can impact you.

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