Tag Archives: Jack Fisher Blog

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Fireplace Edition

1910515

It’s getting cold outside. Winter is here and that’s no longer a teaser for a popular HBO show. Fall may not officially end until late December, but if you live in an area outside a tropical climate, it feels like winter. There have already been a few major snowstorms. This is just the beginning. As I write this, it’s freezing outside and I’m clinging to a hot cup of coffee.

There are many ways to stay warm in the winter. Some are a lot sexier than others. While I could definitely name a few, I’d like to focus on one that’s more pragmatic than sex, but still has a sexy connotation. It’s a fireplace. Whether gas powered or wood burning, having a roaring fire in the fireplace is a great way to keep your place warm in the winter. It’s also a grate way to set a sexy mood.

I can say that because the place I currently live at has a gas fireplace. In fact, one of the many reasons I bought my current home is because it has this nice little feature that I’ve always been fond of. A roaring fire in the fireplace isn’t just a nice utility for the winter months. It creates a unique ambiance that I find very intimate.

It’s an ambiance that has all sorts of romantic potential. I can easily imagine having a nice candle-lit dinner, followed by a little snuggling near the fire while it gets cold outside. That helps things get heated. From there, simple passions flare up. It’s a beautiful thing.

Not everyone has a fireplace and even a few who do probably see it as nothing more than a heating tool. I believe it can be more than that. Please use the following edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts as my arguments for the inherent sexiness of fireplaces. Enjoy!


“Women who watch gay porn and men who watch lesbian porn are sending mixed, yet understandable messages.”


“Trashy is just sex appeal made disgusting.”


“We live in an age where we share so much of our lives with total strangers online, but we’re still very protective of our porno stash.”


“How horny do you have to be to consider using a used sex toy?”


“Ignorance may be bliss for an individual, but knowledge is essential for anyone who wants to please their lover.”


“Being bitter that other people are more attractive than you is like being heartbroken that a prostitute slept with someone other than you.”


“A heartwarming gesture is the simplest way to start warming up someone’s loins.”


I hope that warmed everyone’s heart, loins, and everything in between. It’s going to be a long winter. There are many long, cold nights ahead of us. If you have a fireplace and a lover to share the warmth with, this is the perfect time of year to make use of it. There might be easier ways to stay warm, but I doubt few others will be as effective and sexy.

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

“A Very Merry Sex Robot” A Sexy Short Story (About Christmas And Sex Robots)

165cm-artificial-naked-silicone-sex-dolls-moaning

The following is a sexy short story about Christmas and sex robots. It’s a combination that I don’t think exists enough in this world and I’d like to contribute to it. I hope this story starts a trend. The holidays are a wonderful time of year. Sex robots can only make them more wonderful. I hope this story proves that. Enjoy!

“Tis the season, my ass,” groaned less than jovial Ethan Elder. “How the hell am I supposed to enjoy Christmas this year?

That was the tenth time Ethan had asked himself that question in the past hour, but he remained no closer to an answer. He’d contemplated it in various forms for over a year, but had only succeeded in making himself more miserable. Even in the comfort of his parents’ home on Christmas, the disillusion and despair festered. At this point, even a Christmas miracle couldn’t mend his broken spirit.

The past year had left Ethan with little capacity for cheer on the holidays. Since late January, his life had been consumed by a messy and ugly divorce from his now ex-wife, Gina. In hindsight, he should’ve seen the signs.

Ethan and Gina had been high school sweethearts who got married on a whim after graduating, thinking it would solidify their relationship for the long term. It was the antithesis of what their friends and peers did with their significant others, few of which remained together. He and Gina thought they were bucking the trend by taking a giant leap forward with their relationship. He genuinely believed in their love.

Ethan now realized just how wrong he’d been. In fact, he should’ve realized it sooner.

“How could I have been so stupid? How did I not see it coming?” he said, his face still buried in his pillow.

Those were among the many other questions he’d asked himself, even before Gina filed for divorce. The answers seemed obvious now, but they still hurt, especially during the holidays.

Getting married when they were young, inexperienced, and ill-prepared had been a challenge, but it wasn’t what broke their relationship. They’d begun their married life with a shared vision. They were going to go to college together, graduate with business degrees, and start their own company, and chart a bold new path for their family. It seemed so naïve and idealistic, but that only made it more appealing in their eyes.

That idealism started fading as soon as they entered college. That was where their vision started to diverge. While Ethan believed in staying true to that vision, Gina started showing interest in other goals. The more she learned, the more she realized that she didn’t want to start a business. She developed a passion for art, movies, and film production. At first, he thought it was just an elective that she enjoyed. Then, she started dropping hints that this was where her passion resided.

Unfortunately, Ethan didn’t pick up on those hints. Looking back on it, he went out of his way to ignore them.

“I tried to tell you. I really, really tried,” Gina told him the day she filed for divorce, “but you just made it so damn difficult!”

She might have been half-right. Even her lawyer admitted that she waited way too long to tell him that she wanted a life different from the one they’d planned. That didn’t make the heartbreak that followed any less painful.

They still graduated college together.

They still started that business together, which went onto become quite successful.

However, success didn’t make Gina happy and her misery quickly became his. Misery led to many fights and many more arguments. Little came from them, aside from tempering the love and intimacy they once shared. Before long, Gina started showing interest in other men. Ethan even admitted that his eyes began to wander as they became more distant. It got to a point where they started sleeping in separate rooms, becoming colder and more distant along the way.

While there was never any sexual infidelity, Gina admitted to his face that she wanted to. She even admitted that she’d kissed a man who’d been helping her with film projects on the side. She would’ve gone further had she not been wearing her wedding ring, but it was that moment when she realized that she no longer loved him.

“The woman I am…the man you are…we’re just not the same. I’m sorry, Ethan. But I can’t love you like I used to.”

Hearing those words broke his heart. Receiving divorce papers hurt even more. At first, he tried to fight it. He tried to reconcile with her. That only made the process more painful.

Since she still helped build the business they founded, she got half the assets. Since she had no interest in running it, she sold it off. He ended up doing the same, no longer able to pursue a vision that he could no longer share. Ethan still ended up with a sizable amount of money, but he couldn’t have been more miserable.

His parents had been trying to console him for months. His dad even insisted that he stay with them for Christmas, if only to get away from the now-empty house he once shared with Gina. They’d even let him sleep in his old room, as if to reconnect with happier times. Even in the early hours of Christmas morning, it still didn’t work.

“After the year I’ve had, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to enjoy Christmas again,” he groaned.

Ethan buried his face in his pillow again, too miserable to sleep and too restless to think straight. He looked over at the clock. It read two in the morning. He already wished he could skip the holidays this year in hopes of rebuilding his life, his heart, and his soul for the next year.

He was prepared to turn around and force himself back to sleep somehow. Then, he got an unexpected text on his cell phone, which sat atop the dresser next to his bed. It came from an unknown number and conveyed a cryptic message.

“Good morning, Ethan,” it read. “Santa has delivered to you a very special gift. Please come downstairs to receive it.”

Ethan read over the message a few times. He tried to look up the number, but it was blocked. That was unusual, especially after getting a new phone number to distance himself from former business associates. While he remained too miserable to get excited, he was none-the-less curious.

“This better not be a prank by Gina’s sister,” Ethan muttered.

Setting his phone aside, he got out of bed and made his way downstairs to the living room. He didn’t even bother putting on slippers or changing out of his pajamas. He fully expected to be underwhelmed, disappointed, and more jaded than he already was.

As he neared the living room, however, Ethan noticed something odd. The lights to the Christmas tree had been turned on, which was unusual. There were also muddy boot prints in the foyer, hinting that someone had actually entered the house at midnight to deliver something. Whether it was Santa, his dad, or one of his dad’s friends was anyone’s guess, but Ethan doubted it could be anything too elaborate.

Then, he entered the living room and saw something that rendered him shocked and astonished.

“Good morning and Merry Christmas, Ethan Elder,” said a beautiful female figure. “My name is Merry. I am a sex robot of the highest quality. I have been configured, programmed, and calibrated to give you the love you so desperately need this Christmas.”

For a brief moment, Ethan had to blink a few times and shake his head, just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Near as he could tell, this was real.

Standing in front of the Christmas tree that he’d helped his parents decorate was a beautiful woman who looked like she’d been cut from the centerfold of a beauty magazine. Her figure was perfect, from the curve of her hips to the shape of her breasts to the hue of her lips. She had dashing blue eyes, shoulder-length hair that looked glistened like silk, and flawless skin that was either divine or artificial. At that moment, Ethan wasn’t sure which would’ve shocked him more.

On top of that, she wore what appeared to be red lingerie with a matching lace bra and thong. In the center, just between her ample breasts, was a large red bow. It was like someone had wrapped her to be a real present. She even seemed to embrace that role as she stepped forth to greet him.

“Before you ask, my programming requires that I identify myself and my purpose,” she said. “I am Ideal Companions Model 2.89, purchased by special request from David and Martha Elder three weeks ago and delivered by request on Christmas morning. My features include advanced AI interface, fully functional synthetic flesh, and sexual function at or beyond that of a healthy young woman. I am also programmed to seek a mutually intimate bond with Ethan Elder, my pre-determined lover.”

Ethan would’ve laughed if he hadn’t been so shocked. Now, he understood why his parents insisted that he spend Christmas at their house. They’d apparently seen how miserable and lonely he’d been after his divorce. He might have even mentioned a few times how he’d connect with another living woman. His father might have taken that statement literally.

As overwhelmed as he was at her presence, Ethan still found himself approach her, if only to confirm she was real. Once again, he made sure he wasn’t dreaming. He knew sex robots were real. He even knew about Ideal Companions, having done business with them a while back. He just never imagined he’d be in the presence of one of their models, let alone one so beautiful.

“Please, take all the time you need to understand this setup,” Merry continued, as if reading from a script. “Note that my programming and Ideal Companion’s policy permits you to refuse connection, thereby prompting an expedited return and a full refund of your deposit. Based on the data I’ve downloaded from your recent onslaught of heartbreak and distress, I hope you do not make such a choice. But if you so choose, I will honor it.”

Ethan could’ve ended it right then and there. He was tempted to do so, if only to end this craziness and demand an awkward conversation with is parents. However, another part of him was drawn to this woman. Robot or not, she had a presence that captivated him.

Whether it was her presence, the revealing lingerie she wore, or the fact that he hadn’t been intimate with a woman in over a year, Ethan found himself making a snap decision on the spot. It might not have been well thought out, but it felt right.

“I…want you to stay,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Would you please confirm this sentiment directly?” she asked. “Do you wish for me to be your intimate companion?”

Ethan had a chance to second-guess himself. More often than not, he didn’t get that chance and when he did, he rarely went against his gut decision. This time felt different. This time, everything about his first inclination felt right.

“Yes,” he said in a more confident tone. “I’d like that…I think.”

“Wonderful!” Merry said. “You still sound uncertain. Perhaps it will help if I show you the kind of intimate companionship I can offer.”

Without further explanation, the beautiful female figure undressed on the spot. She started by unwrapping the bow over her chest, as if to unwrap a present in the sexiest way possible. She then removed her lingerie, performing a sensual striptease under the light of the Christmas tree. It was both festive and sexy. By the time she was done, Merry stood before him in the middle of the room, fully naked with every feminine feature on full display.

“Come to me, Ethan,” she said with a welcoming gesture. “Embrace my body while I embrace yours.”

Ethan couldn’t believe what he was seeing. There was a beautiful naked woman standing in front of him, inviting him into her loving grasp. Every instinct of every healthy heterosexual man urged him to accept that invitation. Had he not been in his parents’ house, wearing unwashed pajama pants and a dirty old T-shirt for the third night in a row, he might have done so.

However, his heart was still raw. On top of that, Ethan hadn’t been intimate with a woman in a long time. A part of him wondered if he could even muster the desire. Such hesitation probably would’ve raised concern for most women, but Merry wasn’t the least bit dissuaded. Instead, she just smiled warmly and approached him.

“Here,” Merry said to him, “let me take your clothes off.”

“I uh…I can manage,” Ethan said anxiously.

“I know you can,” she said, “but if I’m to be your loyal companion, I need plenty of hands on experience.”

“Hands on…right,” he said with a chuckle. “I didn’t know sex robots could make jokes.”

“My abilities go beyond sex. If you give me a chance, I’d be happy to demonstrate.”

He answered only with an awkward smile. Merry interpreted that as affirmation and proceeded accordingly.

She took a step closer, her nude form now perfectly within reach. Ethan still didn’t make a move. He just stood there while Merry took off his shirt, grasping the hem and pulling it up over his head. She then took off his pants, boxers and all. She wasn’t aggressive or intense. She was very gentle and caring, as though she were tending to someone who was wounded. Given what he’d been through over the past six months, it wasn’t that far from the truth.

“You’re a handsome, caring man, Ethan,” Merry said as she took in his nude form. “Any woman, robot or otherwise, would be lucky to have you as their lover.”

“I’m flattered,” Ethan said, blushing somewhat under her gaze. “Is that another part of your demonstration?”

“It can be, if you wish. But a more important part involves helping you feel comfortable around your new lover. So please, if you desire, touch me. Get a feel for my body while I get a feel for yours.”

Again, Ethan fell silent with shock. That might have been for the best. He had a tendency to say dumb things when he was overwhelmed. His ex-wife had reminded him of that more than once during their divorce proceedings. For now, he tried not to think about that. For the first time in years, he was going to enjoy a true, genuine gift.

“Okay. Let’s do this,” was all he said.

Hiding his nervousness behind an awkward smile, he welcomed the attractive feminine figure into his arms. Merry eagerly accepted, still smiling warmly as she pawed his upper body with both hands. Ethan finally let his once-dead passions arise and began exploring her naked body. The feeling of her flesh, synthetic or not, was every bit as overwhelming as her beauty.

He welcomed more of her caring touch as Merry offered more affectionate gestures. She trailed her hands over his chest and arms, as though she’d been programmed with a keen knowledge of how he liked to be touched. If she were as advanced as she claimed, that was likely true to some extent.

Even though she was a robot, Ethan was gentle. He started by caressing her face, lightly touching her cheek and running his finger through her hair. He steadily grew bolder, trailing his hands down her feminine curves, feeling around her hips, thighs, and butt. Her skin was so smooth and warm. Had she not stated that she was a robot, he would’ve thought her to be an angel, coming to grant him mercy on a cold Christmas morning.

It felt so good that he was almost afraid to feel any other part of her body. Merry must have sensed that because she helped guide his touching. As if to reignite his dormant passions, she lightly grasped his wrists and guided one hand to her breasts and the other to her inner thighs.

“Don’t be shy, Ethan,” Merry told him. “Here. Feel my breasts. Feel my vagina. I want you to touch them. I want to be intimate with you.”

Ethan swallowed nervously, but managed to not look too foolish. He was already naked with her in his parents’ living room on Christmas Eve. What else could possibly shock him?

That didn’t make feeling Merry’s breasts and genitals any less overwhelming. It was incredible, grasping her fleshy orbs and caressing her womanhood. His experience with his ex-wife gave him little confidence in his ability to navigate female anatomy, but Merry’s soft purrs of approval reassured him. Unlike Gina, she appreciated soft, loving touch.

“Mmm…that feels good,” she told him. “So soft and caring…I like it. It makes me want to kiss you.”

“I…wouldn’t stop you if you tried,” he said.

That might not have been the best response to a beautiful woman’s overt approval, but she didn’t hold that against him. She still kissed him passionately. Her lips tasted sweeter than any holiday treat. Synthetic flesh or not, it was a wonderful feeling. It also shattered whatever reservation he had left about embracing Merry as his robot lover.

As their lips meshed, the touching continued. He kept fondling her breast with one hand while rubbing her outer folds with the other. He even slipped his fingers inside her, which revealed that her feminine anatomy functioned every bit as well as a non-robot woman. She was very aroused and Ethan was finally sharing that feeling. He felt his manhood become fully erect with more urgency than he’d experienced since his honeymoon.

Merry quickly sensed this and directed her touch to his lower body. The feeling of a beautiful woman’s loving touch on his penis might as well have been a Christmas miracle. It was overwhelming, but for once, Ethan embraced it. Divorce and heartbreak had nearly broken him. Now, he had a chance to rebuild his soul with the aid of a beautiful sex robot on Christmas.

“Ethan,” Merry said, abruptly breaking the kiss.

“Yes, Merry?” Ethan said, replying with his first sliver of confidence.

“Let’s make love,” she said, “right here…in front of the Christmas tree…together.”

The way she said it made it sound daring. Not forgetting they were still in his parents’ house and they were likely still asleep, it was to some extent. Ethan had avoided such daring acts leading up to his divorce. He was officially ready to be bold again.

“Just when I thought this Christmas couldn’t get any better,” he said with a beaming grin.

“Oh it can, my darling. I promise it can!” Merry replied in the most seductive tone he’d ever heard from a woman.

They kissed and embraced again. This time, there was no explorative touching or overwhelming reservations. It was full-fledged foreplay of the most passionate kind.

Ethan twirled his tongue with hers, forgetting completely that she was a robot and her tongue was likely some biosynthetic substitute. He hungrily felt up her naked body, paying close attention to her inner thighs and breasts, evoking plenty of soft gasps from his robot lover. He was turning her on, literally and figuratively. She returned the favor by stroking his cock and clutching his shoulder, communicating a deep desire for his intimate love. With only the light of the Christmas tree filling the living room, they pursued that desire to the utmost.

Ethan took the initiative, something Gina rarely let him do during the latter parts of their marriage. He grasped Merry by the hips, laid her down on the floor just in front of the Christmas tree, and got on top of her. She looked even more beautiful under the festive lighting, her gaze begging him for the full force of his love. Ethan gladly obliged, positioning himself between her legs and aligning their bodies for an intimate union.

“I’m ready, Ethan,” Merry said. “I want this so much.”

“So do I,” Ethan said, his voice dazed with passion.

He took a deep breath.

Then, he tightened his grip on her hips.

Finally, he thrust his hips forward, driving his rigid manhood into her wet, womanly depths.

It was nothing short of heavenly, feeling that hot flesh surround his cock. It had been a while since he’d had sex, but this felt better than anything he remembered from his ex. It was like reconnecting with a feeling he thought he’d lost forever. Now, thanks to this beautiful female sex robot, he could cherish it again.

“Merry…oh Merry!” Ethan gasped.

“That’s it, my lover,” she said lovingly. “Give it to me. Share this feeling with me.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. That unleashed over a year’s worth of passion and desire. Like a man reborn and rejuvenated, he made love to this beautiful woman with every ounce of vigor he could muster.

Ethan was still careful at first, steadily working his hips and torso in a steady motion, allowing their intimate flesh to become acquainted. Once they got a feel for one another, he stepped up the pace. He dug his knees and feet into the shag carpet, driving his manhood into her with greater fervor. Her body rocked along with his, naked skin gliding with naked skin every step of the way. He loved how her breasts pressed against his chest and how her legs tensed every time he thrust into her, as if to embrace him fully and not just sexually.

Once Ethan established a steady pace of lovemaking, the experience opened up in unexpected ways. With Gina, sex had become such a formality. There were only so many ways she would do it with him and he agreed to those because he wanted to please her. At some point, it stopped being fun and passionate. Merry was the complete opposite. She gleefully shared in the spirit, encouraging him to explore the breadth of his passions.

Ethan rolled around with her on the rug, taking her from various positions, including a few Gina never let him try. He turned her over onto all fours and took her from behind, squeezing her butt and nibbling her ear from behind. He laid her on her side, hitched a leg over his shoulder, and thrust into her at an angle, allowing him to tease her feet in ways that made her squeal with delight. He even laid down on his back and she rode him cowgirl style while he fondled her breasts, pinching her nipples in ways that got an even stronger reaction.

“Yes! Yes! Ohhh yes!” she cried out. “Just like that, Ethan! Just like that!”

It was beautifully chaotic, a true venting of genuine passion. It didn’t matter that it involved a sex robot. The passion felt real. It was every bit as real as the pleasure.

After plenty of chaotic passion, that special gift was about to culminate. Ethan was ready to climax. He had his robot lover on her side with him spooning her from behind. She angled her hips perfectly so that he could thrust into her in just the right way, maximizing the penetration as he neared his peak. It also allowed him to fondle her breast and kiss her neck, evoking more delighted gasps from Merry. She claimed she could climax. He was about to put that ability to the test.

“I’m close, Merry! I’m going to…come…soon!” Ethan said through labored grunts.

“Yes! I…I can feel it!” she said. “My body…and your body…oohhh I feel it!”

It might have been a result of clever programming.

It might even have been a result of special engineering that ensured Merry achieved orgasm at the same time as her lover.

The prelude didn’t matter. Only the culmination mattered and in that fateful moment, he and Merry climaxed together.

It was both intense and cathartic. Ethan closed his eyes and let out a deep gasp, as if to let out a year’s worth of frustration and heartbreak. Hot waves of orgasmic pleasure erupted through his core as his manhood throbbed inside his robot lover’s depths. His release appeared to trigger hers. Merry let an orgasmic cry of her own, taking his hand in hers and giving it a firm squeeze. Regardless of whether robots experienced orgasm the same as humans, there was no denying the results.

The greatest gift Ethan had ever received was complete. This new connection with Merry was sealed.

“Merry…my new robot lover,” Ethan said, still swimming in a sea of euphoria.

“That was my purpose when I was programmed,” she said. “Now, it is my passion.”

“You already know the difference?”

“Of course,” she said playfully. “For a man such as you, Ethan Elder, desire isn’t enough. Even purpose will not do. You are a man of passion. Your former lover may have forgotten that, but I certainly won’t. Consider that a promise and one last Christmas gift.”

“And what a gift it is!”

They shared another joyous laugh. Then, as their bodies parted, Merry rolled over and kissed him again. Still curled under the light of a Christmas tree, it felt like the end of one painful journey and the start of something much more promising. Ethan thought he’d never enjoy this feeling again after Gina broke his heart. Merry had officially proved him wrong and that, in many ways, was the greatest Christmas gift of all.

Leave a comment

Filed under sex robots, Sexy Short Story

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Romantic (And Sexy) Manners Edition

1

When it comes to sex appeal, manners rarely rank near the top. In fact, they tend to lag behind the the inherent appeal of bad boys, deviants, and other traits every metal band in the 1980s took to an extreme. While there will always be certain women who are attracted to bad boys and men who are attracted to bad girls, there’s still a unique appeal to good old fashioned manners.

I had to amazing parents and several siblings who instilled in me a strong appreciation of manners. I’ve noted before how they taught me the importance of little things like holding the door for a woman. I like to think I’ve taken those lessons to heart and not just with respect to holding the door. When I’m in the presence of a lady, I raise the bar for my mannerisms.

While every situation is different and every woman responds to behaviors differently, I’ve learned over the years that everyone wants to feel valued. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, as well. Manners help us convey that message. They help us communicate that we value them as people. We want them to feel happy, comfortable, and safe in our presence.

It doesn’t always have to include sex appeal, but it certainly can serve as a foundation. It’s true. Manners can be sexy. I saw this first hand while I was dating my ex-girlfriend. When I did something as simple as pull out a chair for her, she responded favorably. It meant a lot to her and she returned the favor in other ways, some of which were very sexy.

Manners may never be as sexy as the bad boys and bad girls of this world, but they’ll always have an appeal on some level. That appeal is worth acknowledging and celebrating. I hope this edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts helps contribute to that effort. Enjoy!


“Honesty won’t get you laid, but it will limit the damage to your ego, genitals, and bank account in the long run.”


“Practically speaking, it’s impossible to give a man a blowjob without him noticing.”


“Giving someone oral sex won’t win an argument, but it will make compromise a lot easier.”


“The fact that some people can have sex while sleepwalking proves that we’re horny even when we’re unconscious.”


“On some levels, we want our lover’s to be good listeners so we don’t have to overtly tell them our kinks.”


“Breasts don’t directly cause sexy thoughts, but they do plenty to inspire them.”


“To some extent, being a workaholic is just an unsexy version of S&M.”


Good manners aren’t that difficult to exercise. For the most part, they’re just a byproduct of common sense and basic human decency. Simple or not, they go a long way towards showing someone we care about them. It may not get them overly excited, but it will send a powerful message about the breadth of your passion.

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

“Decorating Love” A Sexy Short Story (About Christmas Decorations)

happy-couple-decorating-christmas-tree-with-star_23-2147978591

The following is a sexy short story about love and decorating a Christmas tree. The holidays are upon us and this part of it is near and dear to my heart. Since I was a kid, I’ve loved putting up Christmas decorations and decorating Christmas trees. As an adult, I’m often the first one to put his up and if I ever meet that special someone, I hope share my love of this festive activity with her.

Until then, enjoy this sexy short story inspired by one of my favorite holiday activities. Enjoy!

“Perfect! It’s finally perfect,” said a beaming Christopher Krane.

“Are you absolutely sure this time? Because you said that twice before and the sun has set since then,” said Karen with a bemused grin.

“I’m sure this time. I’m completely, totally sure!”

Karen shook her head and rolled her eyes, but couldn’t stop smiling. No matter how many times she saw it, he never failed to amaze her. There were people who just enjoyed the holidays and there were people who went the extra mile. Then, there was her husband, Chris. He was in a class all his own.

Around the same time every year, her high school sweetheart turned transformed into a different person. It started just a few days after Halloween. When most people were still eating candy and planning their Thanksgiving travel plans, Chris was breaking out the Christmas decorations and plotting how to turn their modest suburban house into a holiday haven. Many teased him for putting his decorations up so early. A few, including some of their neighbors, were annoyed by it.

That never dissuaded him. If anything, it encouraged him. Chris was rarely content with just putting up a few lights. He had to make it a work of art. He turned a bare, artificial 9-foot tree into a dazzling spectacle of multi-colored lights, a diverse array of ornaments, and a silver star that his grandmother gave him when he was a kid. He also strung up lights along the walls, put custom-made wreaths on the doors, and swapped out pictures for various holiday displays.

It usually took up half a weekend. Before they got married, Karen used to reserve that weekend for errands or a spa trip or a day with friends. However, shortly after they got engaged, Chris’ grandmother took her aside and told her how important it was to embrace her son’s holiday spirit.

“It means a lot to him, Karen,” she’d told him, “and it’ll mean even more for you to become part of it.”

His grandmother died just a year after their wedding. Before then, she’d told Karen how she and his grandfather made Christmas such a spectacle for their grandchildren. Growing up, Chris’ parents worked all the time and rarely had the resources to make Christmas special. His grandparents took it upon themselves to pick up the slack and, much to his parents’ chagrin, they overcompensated.

It left an indelible mark on Chris, more so than his two younger sisters. He made it clear while they were dating that if he had the means, then he would do Christmas in a way that would make his grandparents proud. He even joked that he would overdo it. When he achieved those means by co-founding a biotech business with his college buddies, Karen realized that he hadn’t been joking.

“I’d say you’ve outdone yourself this year, but I know that would just jinx it for next year,” Karen teased as she watched her husband marvel at their work.

“You know me, Karen. I like to raise the bar,” Chris said proudly.

“There’s raising the bar and then there’s you on the holidays. That’s not a fair comparison.”

“You almost sound worried.”

“I’m not worried. I just like to remind you that it’s okay to be content with your work. You achieve so much throughout the year. Don’t just reserve that sentiment for the holidays.”

“I try not to,” he said, “and I think I’m getting better at it. That’s still not going to stop me from appreciating this time of year more than most.”

He kept on smiling like a kid on Christmas Eve as he took several steps back to get a full view of his work. Now standing beside her, he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her in close as he gazed upon the festive display before them.

Jinx or not, her husband had once again created a dazzling holiday spectacle. The tree was fully lit, fully decorated, and radiating with Christmas spirit in all directions. The entirety of their living room had been rearranged to make room for the tree, so much so that Chris moved some of their furniture down to the basement. That included a few lamps, which meant their primary source of light during the day had to be the Christmas tree. She doubted that was an accident.

As difficult as it was to keep up with her husband’s Christmas spirit, Karen still found herself enjoying the moment with her husband. It was hard not to feel an impact from such spirit. While admiring the tree, she took his hand in hers and leaned on his shoulder.

“I would never try to stop you from celebrating the holidays, as only you can,” Karen told him.

“To be fair, my family did warn you before we got married,” Chris joked. “If you’re going to be in my family, then you’re going to have to go the extra mile during the holidays.”

“Trust me. I knew that came with the territory before we walked down the aisle,” she said. “What I didn’t know was how it would affect my own feelings towards the holidays.”

“What do you mean?” he asked her.

Karen’s demeanor shifted. As much as she enjoyed her husband’s festive spirit, it contrasted heavily with how she’d handled the holidays in the past. Being with Chris had changed a lot of things in her life. She just didn’t expect her perceptions of the holidays to change so significantly.

“You’ve met my parents. You know my family’s attitudes towards holidays, parties, and anything that’s needlessly elaborate,” said Karen.

“I haven’t forgotten,” Chris said. “I believe one of your father’s biggest rules was that if it cost more than a nice steak dinner, then it’s too much.”

“In his defense, he spent the first 10 years of my childhood fixing a bankrupt company that my uncle ruined,” she said. “He prided himself on doing more with less. That extended to the holidays. The man wouldn’t even let us get a tree until the week before Christmas, just to save money on the electric bill.”

“That’s just cruel,” he said.

“It was also a habit he tried to impart on me and my sisters. Given my taste for premium dresses, I don’t think it took. It still showed in other ways, though. Even before we got together, I saw the holidays as more a formality than a celebration. I knew you loved to take is seriously, but even after I could afford to be less stingy, I didn’t get into the spirit. Hell, I used my Christmas bonus from the travel agency on a new toaster oven.”

“Guess your spirit needed an extra spark,” Chris said.

“More like several,” said Karen, “and you gave me more than that.”

She drew him into a deeper embrace, turning him away from the dazzling Christmas tree that now dominated their living room and towards her. He quickly gave her his full attention, snaking his arms around her waist and gazing into her eyes with a love befitting of any holiday.

“I needed to start seeing things as something worthy of extra effort. I needed to stop looking at everything as a measure of cost and resources,” she went on. “It’s okay to go over the top. It’s even okay to go overboard. You just have to make sure it’s worth all that effort.”

“Well, I’d say the holidays are definingly worthy,” Chris said.

“I wasn’t just talking about the holidays, Chris.”

Her voice echoed with heavy emotions. Her embrace deepened as well. Under the glow of their oversized Christmas tree, the same love that brought them together shined brighter than ever. It seemed so fitting. It also reminded Karen of how much effort she’d put into her life with Chris.

Now, standing in his arms within a nice home laden with holiday decorations, she could say it with certainty. Their love had been worth the effort.

“I see,” he said, his smile now beaming with a different kind of spirit. “To be fair, I always sensed a brighter spirit within you, Karen. It was one of the many reasons I fell in love with you.”

“You helped draw that spirit out, Chris,” Karen said. “For that, I’ll always be thankful.”

“So will I,” he told her, “but if you really want to thank me, you’ll join me in celebrating the next part of my elaborate holiday effort.”

“Which part? You have so many,” she teased.

“I think you know which one I’m talking about,” he said in a deeper, manlier tone. “It just happens to be the one we can only do together.”

As if to leave no room for ambiguity, he reached into his pocket and used his phone to turn on their gas fireplace across the room. Having also decorated the fireplace with stockings and a garland, its crackling embers glowed with a more festive hue. It signaled that he was ready for one of their favorite holiday traditions, which often occurred weeks before the holidays even arrived.

Karen got the message. Without saying a word, she followed her husband to the area just in front of the fireplace where he had laid a Christmas-themed rug atop the plush carpet. The heat from the fireplace was already making her clothes feel uncomfortably itchy. Again, that was likely by design.

“Oh…that one,” Karen said playfully, pretending it was a revelation.

“I know we usually wait until the Sunday night after I’ve put everything up,” Chris said, “but if you’re already feeling the holiday spirit…”

He let his words trail off, but it didn’t take a Christmas miracle to seal Karen’s choice. Once again, her husband’s uncanny holiday spirit had inspired her in unexpected ways.

“I’m feeling quite spirited already,” she told him, “too spirited for these clothes.”

“I can help with that. Some gifts, after all, are worth unwrapping early.”

She laughed, but Chris remained dead serious as he kissed her under the many holiday lights, feeling her up with those strong hands of his. The same hands that helped decorate the house with so much holiday cheer were now on her body. The prospect of feeling those hands on her naked skin turned Karen on in just the right ways.

That prospect became very real, very quickly. As her husband tenderly kissed her lips, he went to work undressing her. He started with her pants, undoing the zipper and pushing them down to the floor, revealing the simple black panties she’d worn all day. Had she known her husband’s Christmas spirit would turn her on, she’d have worn something sexier.

Chris didn’t seem to mind. It didn’t slow him down, either. Just as she kicked off her pants, he removed her sweatshirt and bra, leaving her almost naked, except for her panties. Almost immediately, Chris shifted those skilled hands of his to her breasts, giving them a nice squeeze to get her passions and her juices flowing.

As much as Karen enjoyed that feeling, she hadn’t forgotten how overdressed she was. With the heat radiating from the fireplace, she imagined that sweater he was wearing felt very hot.

“I’m already feeling the spirit,” she said seductively. “It makes me want to unwrap a gift of my own.”

“Well, since you’ve been such a good girl…”

Again, his words trailed off, leaving her to fill in the blanks. She answered with another kiss before undressing him as well.

Karen was more urgent in getting her lover’s clothes off. Whether due to the holiday spirit or just having such a wonderful husband, she craved his intimate touch. Just as he’d done with her, she started with his pants, removing them along with his underwear. Before he could even kick them off, he pulled off the sweater and T-shirt he had on underneath, rendering him fully nude. In the festive light of the fireplace and the Christmas tree, her love’s naked body glowed with a special radiance.

“A good girl can still have naughty thoughts, right?” Karen said seductively as she pawed his chest and fondled his penis.

“I don’t know. I don’t think Santa Claus has a policy on that,” Chris said, reacting favorably to her touch, “but I do know his policy with respect to those who satisfy their lovers.”

“Do you, now?”

“Want me to prove it?”

“I admit, I’m curious!”

They shared some naughty laughter before coming together in a semi-naked embrace. She kept pawing his chest while rubbing her thigh up against his crotch, causing his penis to stiffen. He returned the favor by fondling her breast and squeezing her butt, something he knew got her wet. In the same way he knew how to decorate a Christmas tree, Chris new how to get her in the mood.

Utilizing those skills to the utmost, he took her in his arms and laid her down on the rug just in front of the fireplace. He was gentle and careful, not unlike he was on their honeymoon when he carried her into their hotel suite. Once she was on her back, he hovered over top of her, kissing and caressing her body with loving reverence. No matter what form their intimacy took, Chris never failed to make her feel love. Like everything else he did on the holidays, he made sure he put in the extra effort.

“Lie back. Relax,” he told her. “I’m going to make you feel nice and naughty!”

“Mmm…sounds challenging,” Karen said coyly.

“You know me. When it comes to the holiday, I love going the extra mile!”

He continued his festive efforts, kissing her again and showering her with loving touch. Karen let out joyous gasps, the warm tingles of his gestures adding to her arousal. Like adding logs to a fire, Chris intensified that feeling bit by bit.

He steadily worked his way down her body, trailing his lips down her neck, shoulders, and chest. He continued giving special attention to her breasts, kneading her fleshy mounds with both hands and giving her nipples a light pinch. That sent chills down her spin, which contrasted perfectly with the heat from the fireplace. It also intensified the heat between her legs, which made her panties more of a burden.

Chris must have sensed it. With his face buried between her breasts, he slipped his hands down to her panties.

“Just one last present to unwrap,” he told her.

“Please…unwrap it,” Karen told him.

Already breathing heavily, she elevated her hips so that he could get them off. As soon as Chris discarded them, he shifted his attention away from her breasts and towards her inner thighs. Now lying completely naked under her lover’s impassioned gaze, she welcomed the next part of their little tradition.

Moving with more urgency, he trailed his lips down her torso, over her naval, and eventually arrived at her inner thighs. Once there, she eagerly spread her legs so that he could get a good whiff of her hot arousal.

“Wow! I can already sense your holiday spirit,” Chris teased as he inhaled her feminine scent.

“What can I say? You turn me on. The passion you put into the holidays…the passion you put into loving me…it just makes me so hot!”

“And you know me. I like my holiday treats nice and hot.”

Looking up from between her inner thighs, he cast her a seductive glance. It was hardly necessary at this stage of arousal, but it reaffirmed his commitment to going overboard on the holidays. True to that commitment, he turned his focus back on her womanhood. Then, with a passion every bit as intense as his holiday spirit, he began giving her oral sex.

He approached eating her out with the same attention to detail that he did when decorating the house. He used both hands, exercising focused care in stimulating her folds. He probed her depths with his tongue and fingers, making sure to hit all the right spots to evoke all the right sensations.

In short order, those hot sensations coursed through her body like ripples of pure bliss. Karen let out sharp moans, bending her legs back more so that her lover could probe deeper. She also began arching her back and fondling her breasts, a common reflex for whenever her husband got her extra excited with the prospect of intimate lovemaking.

“Ooh Chris!” Karen moaned out. “That’s it! Enjoy your treat!”

Chris replied only with a deep moan, but never lost focus. He continued eating her out, building the extent of her arousal to the utmost. Karen knew how he liked to prepare her. He got her close to orgasm before uniting their flesh. During the holidays, he was much more thorough with his preparations.

Whether it involved decorating a Christmas tree or giving her oral sex, Chris went the extra mile and then some. The results were as enjoyable as they were festive. They also set the stage for the next part of their holiday intimacy.

“Karen, my beautiful wife,” Chris said, looking up from her inner thighs once more.

“Yes, my wonderful husband?” Karen said, already dazed from his sensual efforts.

“Are you ready to make love…down by the fire…under the light of our Christmas tree?”

“Yes!” she said without hesitation. “I’m ready for your holiday loving. I’m so…so ready.”

She was short of breath, but full of spirit. That gave Chris all the assurance he needed that she was prepared for the holiday loving that they’d come to love.

Having ensured her arousal, he got back on top of her. In doing so, he revealed that he had a raging boner. Eating her out always seemed to turn him on. That, and the holidays seemed to turn him on more than most. It made for a potent combination, allowing him to align their bodies in preparation for that final festive union.

“Chris…my Christmas stud,” Karen said to him. “Take me!”

He willingly followed her into that sexual daze. As she caressed his face and gazed lovingly into his eyes, her holiday-loving lover unleashed the full force of his loving passion onto her.

He started with a loving kiss to her neck. From there, he grabbed hold of her thighs, held her legs apart, and thrust his hips forward, driving his erect manhood into her. Like a culmination of shared Christmas spirit, their flesh united, her inner folds eagerly embracing his rigid length. Through that intimate union, a flood of wonderous pleasures ensued.

“Karen…my Christmas angel,” Chris whispered into her ears.

“Yes! Yes, Chris! Ohhh yes!” Karen joyously exclaimed.

Their love, combined with a little holiday spirit, took over from there. Chris set the sensual tone, working his body with hers, their naked flesh rocking and undulating in a steady rhythm. That rhythm quickly intensified as the desire escalated.

From such desire, chaotic gestures followed. Karen wildly roamed her hands over her lover’s back, leaving a few light scratch-marks along the way. Her lover didn’t seem to mind. If anything, it inspired him to rock her world harder with more fervent thrusts. Along the way, he hungrily kissed around her lips and neck, even nibbling on her ear lobe, which he knew drove her wild. He also kept using those skilled hands of his, squeezing her hips and feeling up her feminine curves. Even during heated lovemaking, he caressed her body with such reference.

It was a beautiful manifestation of their love amidst such festive surroundings. Grunts and gasps filled the living room as their skin seamlessly meshed through every motion. The heat from the fireplace and the lights from the many Christmas decorations bathed their naked bodies in a unique glow. Despite the bitter cold weather outside, they worked up a good sweat. Something about that made their sex even more special.

“Perfect,” Karen gasped, mirroring her husband’s words from earlier. “It really is…so perfect.”

There was no other word to describe it. Making love to her husband while surrounded by such a holiday spectacle felt so appropriate. After spending much of her life keeping holiday festivities to a minimum, it was a major change, but one she gladly embraced.

Sharing in her husband’s holiday enthusiasm, she played a more active role in their sex. Their passionate moments often began simply, usually involving basic oral followed by basic missionary. It rarely stayed that way. She’d learned early in her relationship with Chris that keeping things basic rarely sufficed.

Once he got the rhythm going, Karen helped balance out the erotic effort. They alternated positions with her getting on top, riding him cowgirl for a while before getting on her hands and knees so that he could take her from behind. She dared to be playful with him and he knew how to keep up with her. In the same way he loved drawing out the holidays, Chris loved drawing out their lovemaking. Like waiting until Christmas morning to open presents, it built anticipation and excitement.

His approach made the gift of orgasmic ecstasy even more meaningful. After following her through a variety of intimate positions, Chris had her on the brink. He must have planned it out as effectively as he planned decorations because he had her in the perfect position. While lying on her side, facing the tree he’d just finished decorating, he spooned her from behind. He angled her body just right, allowing him to thrust into her from behind. It also allowed him to reach around and fondle her clit with one hand, guiding her towards her release.

“Chris…I’m close. I’m really…really close!” she panted while gazing up at the dazzling Christmas tree.

“I am too,” Chris whispered into her ear. “Enjoy the feeling and the sights…while we come together!”

As their naked bodies moved with more urgency, she took his hand in hers and interlaced their fingers. Together, they held on for their coming peak. With so much festive ambiance around them, it promised to usher in the holiday season in the best possible way.

“Oohhh Chris!”

“Oh Karen!”

Their euphoric moans rang out like an erotic holiday spectacle. It signaled the unraveling of a wondrous gift and, true to the season, they shared it eagerly.

Karen felt it first. A hot, orgasmic release washed over her. Intense throbbing muscles in her lower body coincided with waves of raw pleasure. Chris soon joined her, the extra tightness in her womanly depths sending him over the edge. He squeezed her hand harder and let out a deep grunt as he released his manly load inside her, their sex coming together in a potent mixture within her. She could feel the breadth of his ecstasy in his touch, their bodies perfectly synchronized to their release.

As he bathed in the orgasmic afterglow with her, their bodies parted and she turned over to face him. Now lying side by side, still naked and surrounded in a perfectly decorated living room, the power of the holiday season really sank in. Karen hadn’t appreciated it while growing up, but she definitely appreciated it now.

Thanks to the dedicated love and uncanny Christmas spirit of a very special man, she understood the true magic of the season.

“I love you, Chris,” Karen told him.

“I love you too, Karen,” her love replied.

“I know it’s early. I know you’ve got all these amazing holiday plans,” she went on, “but rest assured, you’ve already given me the greatest gift.”

“Good to know,” Chris said with another one of those beaming grins, “but don’t think for a second I’m done making the holidays special. There’s plenty more to celebrate. And it’s going to be special. That, I promise you!”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Short Story

How I Would Propose To The Love Of My Life

dqsbtzvxqae3fam

We all like to think we know exactly what we’ll say to the love of our life when we first meet them. We also like to think we’ll know exactly what we’ll say when we propose, along with where and how we’ll go about it. Whether you’re a romantic or not, we all entertain those perfect moments, even if the prospect of realizing them seems so distant.

Being a self-proclaimed romantic who writes erotica romance novels and sexy short stories, I suspect I contemplate those moments more than most. I know it’s somewhat taboo for straight men to admit they think about such things, let alone act on them, but I believe men are more romantically inclined than most people think. There are plenty real-life stories of heartfelt romantic gestures that prove that.

I sincerely hope that one day, I’ll find someone with which I can share such gestures. As corny as it may sound, I believe in love. I watch it in my favorite movies and read about it in my favorite comics. I also see it in real life with friends and family members who have met the love of their lives. The way they describe their love is greater than anything I could ever put into a story.

Even if that kind of love is the exception rather than the norm, it’s still something I want to pursue. I don’t know when or if I’ll ever achieve it, but I intend to leave my heart open and ready for when it comes. Should that love come along, I’ve already contemplated how I would go about proposing to her. Since it involves the holidays, I thought this would be a great time to share this sentiment.

Before I do, just know that this is going to be cheesy. It’s going to be dramatic and full of romantic fluff, inspired by someone who watched more romance movies than any straight man will admit to seeing. I don’t care either way. This is how I would go about forging the perfect moment to propose to the love of my life.

The setting begins under the guise of a trip. I tell my love that I’d like to go to the annual Christmas tree lighting at Rockefeller Center in New York City. I intend to purchase two VIP access tickets and reserve a hotel suite in the heart of the city. If she agrees, I then organize the next part of the spectacle.

I initially present it as a romantic getaway to get us in the holiday spirit. Perhaps it’s not even the first time we’ve made the trip. The idea is to make sure she doesn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary. Before we even fly out to New York, however, I secretly coordinate with the necessary personnel to ensure there’s a private area for us to share at some point during our visit.

While this area is prepared, we make the trip. We enjoy the sights and spectacles of New York, taking in the holiday festivities. I make sure we’ve got the best seats we can get for the lighting. We cheer with the crowds as the ceremony unfolds. Afterwards, we take advantage of the VIP tickets I bought to take a private tour of Rockefeller Center.

We proceed with the tour like any ordinary couple. Then, once we get to the tree, the rest of the VIPs disperse, as I’ve secretly organized with the tour guide. From there, I guide my love to a private area in front of the tree. Then, while looking up at its beautiful lights and marvelous decorations, I take her hand and tell her how much she means to me.

I try my best to put into words the breadth of my love for her. When words finally fail me, I get down on one knee, present her with a velvet box containing a beautiful diamond ring, and ask her to merry me. When she joyously accepts, I make it a point to memorize every aspect of her reaction.

From there, I place the ring on her finger. We kiss under the light of the tree and seal our love in a way that makes every holiday even more special.

I know it’s cheesy as hell. It might not even be that practical, given how crowded it gets at Rockefeller Center during the Christmas Tree lighting. I’d have to sell a lot of novels to make something like this happen, but if I really do meet a woman that I love with all my heart, then that’s a price I’m willing to pay.

That kind of love is worth it. On top of that, it would make the holidays even more memorable than they already are. In terms of romantic moments, I can’t think of anything more fitting. I just hope I have a chance to share it with that special someone.

Leave a comment

Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights, Marriage and Relationships, romance

Jack Fisher’s Guide To (Awesome) Gift Giving

6394062d5dc2de5fd64749.40574617_

It’s official now. Thanksgiving is over. The leftovers are mostly gone. That means for the next few weeks, the holiday spirit will revolve entirely around Christmas and Christmas-like festivities. There’s no more complaining about seeing holiday decorations too early. At this point, the time is right to get into the swing of things.

Whether you celebrate it or not, there’s no avoiding it. The season is upon us. We see it in commercials, holiday specials, holiday-themed food, and holiday music. By now, we’ve all probably heard Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” at least a dozen times on the radio.

Without a doubt, Christmas is my favorite time of year. It always has been. As a kid, my family always did so many wonderful things around Christmas. Some of my fondest childhood memories took place around Christmas. As an adult, I found entirely new ways to make it memorable. I’ve every intention of keeping that tradition, especially once I find the love of my life.

Chief among those traditions is my approach to gift giving. Talk to anyone in my family and they’ll tell you the same thing. When it comes to giving Christmas gifts, I go above and beyond. I’m not the kind of guy who will be cheap or thoughtless. I’m also not the kind of guy who puts in minimal effort, stuffing cheap crap into bags and slapping tags on it. I am willing to put extra time and money into holiday gift giving.

It doesn’t matter if I’m buying for my parents, my siblings, my friends, or my nieces and nephews, who are all still kids. I make it a point to give them gifts that are special, memorable, and meaningful. From what I get into how I wrap them, I make sure every gift I give on the holidays conveys a sense of love and sincerity.

For that reason, and in hopes of inspiring others to go the extra mile this Christmas, I’d like to share my unofficial guide, of sorts, to gift giving on the holidays. It’s not a science, but it’s not some wild crap shoot either. You can give awesome gifts without being rich, psychic, or possessed by the spirit of Santa Claus.

These are simple tips and tricks that I’ve learned from years of successful gift giving. I sincerely hope they help enhance your holiday experience, both with respect to giving gifts and inspiring the right spirit for this time of year.


Tip #1: Be Proactive And Listen Along The Way

This may seem too obvious, but I’ll say it anyways. When it comes to Christmas shopping, you don’t want to procrastinate. I know that’s easier said than done. I know there’s a reason why people feel inclined to procrastinate. Given everything that goes on during the holidays, people have even more excuses.

However, this is one effort for which you really want to be proactive. That means planning or at least contemplating your gift giving schedule around Halloween. It may sound too early, but trust me. It pays off.

This past year, I began browsing Amazon, Ebay, and all the usual retail outlets around mid-October, putting together lists of potential gifts for loved ones. I didn’t buy anything at that point. The idea wasn’t to buy it all at once. That’s actually not a good strategy. The best recourse, in my experience, is to have a long list of possible gifts. It’s just a matter of selecting the right gift for the right person.

You won’t always know that in mid-October. You might not even know that until mid-December. That’s where the listening part comes in. As early as Labor Day, start listening to your friends and family. Get a sense for what they want or need. You don’t have to be obvious. A little tact goes a long way.

Then, once Thanksgiving comes around and every major outlet starts throwing big sales, you already have a list of gifts to work with. Take advantage of those sales and you’ll even save money in the process. There is literally no downside to being proactive during the holidays, which is why it’s probably the most important tip I can give for the holidays.


Tip #2: Be Transparent With Loved Ones For Their Gifts (And Yours)

This tactic is a bit more subtle, but it pays off in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes, in order to glean what your loved ones want for Christmas, you have to start by letting them know what you want. Most of my friends and relatives agree. I’m very easy to shop for on the holidays.

That’s not just because I maintain an Amazon Wish List and that most of my requests involve comics, video games, and accessories that rarely cost more than $50. I’m hope and honest about what I want them to get me. I’ll go so far as to text them multiple links to items I want. When you’re that easy to shop for, people are more willing to return the favor.

This has helped a great deal with loved ones who rarely give me any clues about what to get them. Some are just difficult to shop for because they claim to not want anything. Some are genuinely sincere about that. However, they know I’m still getting them something. It can either be just some random thing I guess on or something they can help make meaningful.

Sometimes, it takes a few years to get that sort of rapport with a loved one, but it’s worth doing. Trust me. When you find that right gift for that someone and see their reaction, it makes the holidays that much more special.


Tip #3: Find Meaningful Gifts (Which Need Not Be Expensive)

This is another tip that seems logical, but is easier said than done. That whole notion that it’s the thought that counts isn’t completely wrong, but it still has some merit. Meaningful gifts are the best kind of gifts to get someone. It can have both sentimental and material value. If you really care about someone, you want this gift to send a message. Giving it meaning always helps.

Years ago, a friend of mine got his girlfriend an iPod mini. It was simple. It didn’t seem that meaningful at first. Then, I found out he engraved a quote from his girlfriend’s mother on the back. That quote made that gift more meaningful than anything else he could’ve given her. Needless to say, that was a memorable Christmas and my friend is still with that same woman.

Giving a gift greater meaning also doesn’t mean buying something expensive. Some of the most meaningful gifts I’ve ever given cost less than $20, but they were extremely personal and they sent a message to the person I gave it to. They got that message loud and clear. Our Christmas was better because of it. You can put a price on a lot of things during the holidays, but you can’t put a dollar value on genuine sentiment.


Tip #4: Know When (And How) A Gift Card Is Appropriate

This is a somewhat controversial topic among gift-giving circles. There’s this notion that if you really care about someone, you never give them a gift card. Gift cards are great for birthdays or for people you can’t always see very often, but there’s a taboo with respect to giving them as a Christmas gift. I don’t entirely agree with that.

In general, I don’t give gift cards. I treat it as a last resort, but it’s still an option. I just try to make it more than just a socking stuffer. You can give greater meaning to a gift card. One year, I included a gift card with a Christmas card that has a poem I wrote in it. That poem helped give greater value to the gift card. It made the gesture personal. It showed that I cared and it got the point across.

In the right circumstances, gift cards can totally work. When someone can’t be there for the holidays or is still new to the family, as is often the case with in laws and extended family, a gift card can go a long way towards establishing a rapport. I find that it’s a useful starting point with someone, but it shouldn’t be the endpoint.

Personally, I hope the taboo surrounding gift cards fades in the coming years. With more and more shopping being done online, I think gift cards are a lot more practical today than they were when I was a kid. The rules surrounding them may change, but for now, a gift card should remain a last resort when shopping for a loved one.


Tip #5: Make A List (And Check It More Than Twice)

That old adage about Santa having a list and checking it twice isn’t just a memorable song lyric. It’s a very practical tool for keeping track of your holiday gift giving. I maintain a list on my phone that has everyone I buy a gift for, as well as some ideas on what to get them. I constantly update that list over the course of the year and I let people know when they’re on it.

When the time comes to start buying, I use that list to track what I buy, who I buy it for, and how they react to it. This list, which can get a little bloated at times, acts as both a reference and a guide onto how I perform every Christmas. Given the size of my family and the amount of gifts I buy, it helps to keep track of who gets what. It also helps to identify a certain trend in terms of what certain loved ones like.

Over the years, those trends have helped me refine my gift giving skills for certain people. I learn their tastes. I learn what makes a gift meaningful to them. Most importantly, I keep track of it. Don’t expect to remember all these little quirks over the course of a year.

Keep a list. Check it constantly, especially around mid-November. It’ll ensure you know what to look for and who to get it for when the time comes. It also acts as a way of noting ideas that come to you for certain people. On more than one occasion, I’ll randomly see something online or in a store that I know someone would love for Christmas. I make a note of it and it pays off in the long run.


I hope this helps everyone in their gift giving efforts this season. As I write this, I’m proud to say my shopping is done. I have my presents ready and wrapped for my loved ones. I look forward to seeing their reactions on Christmas morning. I hope everyone else can enjoy a similar holiday experience.

Leave a comment

Filed under human nature, Jack Fisher's Insights, Marriage and Relationships

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Holiday Shopping 2019 Edition

sexy-santa-man-naked-black-background_1303-12810

It’s official. The holidays are here! That means the people who have been whining about seeing Christmas decorations since October can finally stop whining. There’s no more leftover turkey or Halloween candy. For the next few weeks, it’s all about getting ready for Christmas and all the festive joys that entails.

For me, one of those joys involves holiday shopping. Yes, I know that’s strange to hear from a straight guy who writes sexy short stories about sex robots. No, I don’t care. I love shopping, in general. I attribute that mostly to my awesome mother, who just loved taking me to malls when I was a baby. I like to think that left an indelible mark that is at its best during the holidays.

That’s because when it comes to holiday shopping and buying presents for loved ones, I do not take it lightly. I’m not cheap and I make a concerted effort to get a gift that’s meaningful. That means no gift cards or last-minute panic buys. When someone opens a gift I bought them, I want their face to light up like a dozen Christmas trees. Seeing that joy and sharing it with loved ones is part of why I love the holidays.

It all starts with the shopping. I know the malls are crowded, the parking is a mess, and the commercials are cheesy. I don’t care. I love every second of it and I intend to enjoy it until Christmas Eve. As of now, most of my shopping is done. I still have a few more gifts to buy and I intend to make them count.

Say what you will about my opinions on politics, religion, and sex robots. Just never doubt my Christmas spirit. I hope these Sexy Sunday Thoughts make that point. Enjoy!


“The ability of a man to masturbate to the same porn star is indicative of how loyal he’ll be in a relationship.”


“Technically, family reunion are celebrations of successful orgasms.”


“A happy spouse, a loyal spouse, and a horny spouse are difficult traits to juggle.”


“When you think about it, simultaneous orgasm was the first manifestation of socialism.”


“A relationship based on make-up sex is the romantic equivalent of a stock market bubble.”


“Someone with a foot fetish probably has mixed feelings about dirty socks.”


“Take a moment to appreciate how creative and horny the inventor of certain sex toys must have been.”


I hope that helped get everyone into the holiday shopping spirit. Whether you do it online or brave the crowded malls, I encourage everyone to put a little extra effort into getting gifts for your loved ones. They don’t have to be expensive. They just have to be meaningful and sincere. That, more than anything, is what makes the holiday spirit so special.

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts