Tag Archives: love

How Men Are Set Up To Fail With Women

When it comes to seeking love and sex, I kind of need to be on top of things. I’m trying to get into the business of writing sexy romance novels. I’ve got another novel coming out in a couple months and a couple manuscripts I hope to submit to my publisher very soon. If I want to tell quality romance stories with the right amount of sex appeal, I need to know about the dynamics of these intimate processes.

Unfortunately, that’s a lot harder than it sounds and few people who aren’t billionaire rock stars/supermodels would contest that. Finding love and finding sex aren’t always mutually exclusive, but they tend to be linked for reasons I don’t think require much explanation. Humans are a sexual, passionate species. Ideally, we should make the process of seeking those experiences clear, efficient, and understandable.

I’ll give everyone a moment to stop laughing because I know we’re a long way from that ideal. In some respects, we’re doing the exact opposite. We’re actually making it harder on ourselves to find love, sex, and everything in between and I’m not just talking about the effects of recent sex scandals. We’ve gotten to a point where men and women aren’t just on the same page. They’re not even reading the same book.

This brings me to a recent article from Cracked.com. I know they’ve been hit or miss lately. Between their poor understanding of what makes someone a pervert and their knack for complicating ideas of consent, they’ve had a bit of a regressive streak lately. They’ve been less focused on humor and more focused on pushing the kind of everything-is-sexist agenda that is rarely funny.

This time, however, they’ve managed to step back from that agenda and offer some insight into the other side of that equation. Yes, women do face their share of challenges in pursuing love and sex with men. Sifting through the crop of potential partners, trying to figure out who one wants something meaningful and who just wants a quick romp, is frustrating and the source of nearly every romantic comedy ever made.

However, the other side of that struggle with the men, has its own set of challenges and our culture does plenty to add to the difficulty. Since I am a man and I’m familiar with some of these challenges, I feel it’s worth talking about. I’m also glad Cracked.com took the time to write something like this. For those interested, here’s the link:

Five Ways Society Trains Men To Expect Sex From Women

This is one of those articles that will likely generate plenty of discussions among feminists, MRAs, egalitarians, and romance fans, like myself. There are some parts of it that still come off as overly-gendered preaching. However, I think the article presents the situation in a way where those discussions need not involve threats or insults to each other’s mothers. Then again, this is the internet.

Chief among the arguments that this article makes involves how our culture, from movies to TV shows to comic books, gives the impression that good men have do things a certain way to get love and sex from women. However, those things rarely involve the kind of work, strength, and achievements that women and men alike find attractive.

Instead, sitcoms and romantic comedies constantly feed men the idea that just being meek, passive, and constantly friend-zoned will eventually earn them their dream girl. At no point is there any effort to actually find out what that dream girl actually wants in a lover because that just wouldn’t make for a good romance movie, even if it makes total sense. The article puts it even more succinctly.

The idea that women will eventually find their lengthy secret crushes cute if they cling to them is an anxiety-reducing godsend. So they keep waiting and waiting for the “right” time. But that time never comes, because their life isn’t being written by a hack. So they get bitter and frustrated, because they don’t just feel rejected; they feel ripped off, like they were owed love, but it was somehow denied them.

It’s basically an extension of the old “nice guys finish last” diatribe that I’ve criticized before. I admit that even I bought into that growing up and my lack of romantic interest from other women is testament to how flawed this concept is. It also says something that my favorite romantic movie, “Crazy/Beautiful,” does not follow that trope.

It gets even worse than that, though. Beyond presenting a false understanding that good men have to be meek to get the girl, there’s also this weird/unhealthy idea that every romantic pursuit has to be its own epic narrative. In the same way people erroneously believe they’re the hero of their own story, they believe they’re one of the lovable nerds in “The Big Bang Theory” who ends up with the cute girl.

Never mind the fact that some of the romance in that show may be very unhealthy, there’s a sense that sex and romance has to fit into this narrative or it’s a total failure. There’s no room for more mundane notions that a guy just asks a girl out, she says no, and they get on with their lives. That story just seems wrong and doesn’t fit the epic love story/sexual conquest that men build up in their minds.

This is where it gets really soul-crushing for men looking for that kind of romance and sex that bad Julia Roberts movies are made of. For men who try to play by those rules, being the meek and lovable underdog that they think will get them love and sex, what happens when it fails? What happens when Leonard Hofsteader doesn’t get the girl and ends up alone, heartbroken, and frustrated?

It can be pretty traumatic and the article points that out, giving the impression that men have no room for error. If they fail to get the love and sex they seek by playing by the rules laid out in every romantic comedy ever made, then they will die poor and lonely.

So Nice Guys see countless stories wherein women vent about creepy encounters they’ve had with men who interrupted their days, and it freaks them out. That venting is understandable — I’d be angry too if I was constantly getting harassed about my chiseled good looks while trying to run errands. But Nice Guys end up under the impression that every encounter ends in either a sweeping success or a reminder of why mace was invented. They think there’s no margin for error, because there’s a constant fear that failure will end in loneliness and humiliation. There’s a brutal contradiction. Nice Guys are told that they need to meet new people, but also that if they fuck up even a tiny bit, they will be mocked.

This is also where some of the gender disparities really show, especially from the male end of the equation. That’s because within this epic romance narrative that men think they’re part of, there’s one component that amplifies the tension between gender. It has to do with who decides the when, where, how, and why of love and sex.

Even within a society where women are vulnerable to various forms of sexual misconduct, they are still very much the sexual and romantic gatekeepers, as the article calls it. In that narrative, the women are the ones who decide whether or not anyone has any sex. The women are the ones who decide whether or not a relationship ensues. It’s not like sex and romance have any cooperative elements, right?

That last part was meant to be sarcasm, but it’s no laughing matter in the context of the narrative that men think they have to follow. So much of it is built on the idea that women are the final decision-makers. It’s an idea that frustrates men and is rarely acknowledged by women, creating the kind of inequality in a relationship that is rarely healthy.

It’s a component that does more than just set men up for heartbreak and women up for frustration. It can be downright unsexy when it comes together. The article puts it better than I ever could.

So while many men from generations past thought that the female orgasm was a myth and that a clitoris was an African insect, most Nice Guys readily accept that a woman’s sexual satisfaction is important. But in getting that message across, we’ve accidentally started telling men that while it’s wrong to try to seduce women in most situations, when sex does happen, you’d better be goddamn incredible at it.

Think about the disconnect in that dynamic. Since women are the sexual gatekeepers, men can’t readily seduce a woman without coming off as a creep or a Biff Tannen wannabe. Even when they do get the go-ahead for sex, if they don’t satisfy the woman with the prowess of Wilt Chamberlin on crack, then they’ve failed.

Considering sex, like anything in life, takes practice and cooperation, this kind of imbalance is bound to make for some less-than-romantic situations that’ll leave everyone involved unsatisfied. Men, particularly, build up all these expectations around what they think movies, TV shows, and bad porno says is important and grade themselves on that steep curve.

It’s not too hard to imagine why men get so frustrated and women are so disappointed, which only serves to heighten the hostilities between genders. Real life simply doesn’t play out the same way that movies, sitcoms, or sexy romance novels do. If they did, then there would be no appeal to those things in the first place.

That’s probably the most important take-away from this article. Yes, there are still parts where it tacitly mentions the ongoing sex scandals that make men groan, but the message is fairly concise. The way we’re going about finding love and sex is exceedingly imbalanced. It’s making men and women despise each other far more than they should.

Being the optimist I am, at heart, I believe that our inherent desire for love and sex will gradually change this narrative. Men and women, as hostile as they can be to one another, still seek love and the toe-curling pleasure that comes with making it. It may take time and more frustration, but we’ll find a way to go about it. Genuine love and great sex is worth it.

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Filed under gender issues, sex in media, sex in society, sexuality

“The New Neighbor” A Sexy Short Story

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The following is a short, but sexy story that I wrote. My last short sexy story did surprisingly well so I’m going to see if I can make this a regular thing on this blog. If you enjoy this kind of content, please let me know. If you have any sexy suggestions for future short stories, please let me know as well. I’d love to hear those ideas.

For now, here’s another sexy short story that was inspired by my recent move. Enjoy!

“Wake up, little sister!” said an annoying, condescending voice that could’ve roused a corpse. “It’s after seven and you’re officially late.”

“Ugh! Damn it, Ray. It’s Saturday,” groaned Sarah Jones as she held a pillow over her head to block out the morning sun.

“I don’t care. I’ve got work. You’ve got errands. So long as you’re living in your generous, loving sister’s condo, you’re going to stick to a schedule.”

Sarah closed her eyes and buried her face in the arm of the couch, which also happened to be her de-facto bed. She tried willing her hard-ass older sister out of existence, but it was no use. She offered no mercy, pulling the blanket off her and ripping the pillow out of her grip. It was mornings like this where she hated that she’d inherited her mother’s looks while her Rachel got Dad’s strength.

Hit with a faceful of sun and an older sister’s penetrating gaze, Sarah groaned as she pulled herself up from the couch. Wearing a dirty T-shirt, old sweat pants, and the same underwear she’d worn to work for the past three days, she felt about as rested as a hung-over hobo. In some respects, it was a fitting metaphor for her life at this point.

“You must really hate me, Ray,” Sarah said as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. “I know I suck as a sister, having to crash at your place after fucking my life up in ways that are entirely my fault.”

“Enough with the guilt trip, Sarah. You know I don’t hate you,” Rachel replied, rolling her eyes at her, “but even you have to admit you need a kick in the ass these days. It’s bad enough you dropped out of college to hook up with that high school crush of yours. But between staying with the guy after he cheated on you and letting him burn through your college fund on that failed video game company of his, you’ve got no high ground to stand on.”

“For your information, it was a software company,” Sarah muttered, as though that much it hurt any less.

“Doesn’t matter what it was. The point is now you’re waiting tables, your credit is shit, and you wasted mom and dad’s charity when you tried to get a payday loan on their car.”

“Which I apologized for a million times, by the way,” said Sarah.

“Too late for that. Mom and Dad gave you leeway and it burned them. I’ve worked hard and exercised infinitely better judgment than you so I’ll give you none. You want my help getting your life back together, this is the price you pay.”

Sarah felt inclined to cuss her sister out until next Christmas, but that only would’ve made her more smug and she couldn’t have that. She’d done enough to screw herself over these past few years.

Avoiding eye-contact with Rachel, Sarah pulled herself up from the couch and did her best to wake up. She tried fixing her messy hair and wrinkled clothes, but at this point in her life, she could only do so much to feel presentable. Having once been the hottest girl in school who had every opportunity given to her, all her bad decisions just made her feel ugly, by default.

As Sarah did what she could to look somewhat less pathetic, Rachel retrieved her purse and keys from the kitchen table. She was already dressed in her overpriced pantsuit, ready to pull some overtime at the law firm she’d been working at for the past five years. Between her makeup and more professional demeanor, it was painfully obvious which one of them had made the better life choices.

“I’ve left a list of errands on the fridge next to the wine where I know you’ll see it,” Rachel said as she checked herself in the mirror near the door. “I need you to go to the DMV to pick up the license plate for my new Mazda, swing by the farmer’s market to pick up supplies for the firm’s annual meeting, coordinate with the building manager open house in the unit across the hall, and take care of that big stack of laundry that’s still sitting in my bedroom.”

“That all sounds like very important work,” Sarah said dryly. “Want me to learn Mandarin and do your taxes while I’m at it?”

“Whatever you can do that’ll keep you on schedule and not making dumb decisions is fine by me,” her older sister replied. “Just do what I ask and I’ll have no reason to kick you out. It’s that simple.”

“Simple…right,” Sarah scoffed.

She’d heard that before. Those three words in that particular order might have been her least favorite words of all time. That was what her ex-boyfriend told her when he told her about some get-rich-quick scheme he’d conjured. That was what she told herself when she dropped out of college to pursue what she thought would be a less complicated life. Every time she heard or said those words, it led to another poor decision that she came to regret.

Rather than risk hearing those words again, Sarah dragged herself to the kitchen in search of something to wake her up. As annoyingly regimented as her sister was, Sarah couldn’t afford to push her buttons. If her sister kicked her out, then she would have nowhere left to go.

“Well, if I’m going to run off and be your personal errand girl, I’m going to need some coffee,” she said.

“Sorry, but this is the last batch,” said Rachel, holding up her travel mug as though it were a trophy.

Please tell me you’re joking,” Sarah groaned. “Please tell me you’re just trying to kick my ass into gear again. I promise I won’t get mad this time.”

“Sorry, but when you’re busy and have a functional career, certain things slip your mind. Guess you’ll have to get some from the new neighbor across the hall and hope he’s a morning person.”

“Are you ever going to get tired of punishing me for being such a bitch in high school?”

“If I do, I’ll let you know if I do,” Rachel replied smugly. “Have a great day, little sis!”

Sarah shot her older sister a harsh scold, but she barely saw it. She was already out the door, on her way to drive her nice new Mazda to her well-paying job while her broke sister relied on public transportation to do all the menial chores she’d been given. It used to be so much easier to hate her sister, but Sarah just made it harder on herself with every bad decision, it seemed.

With Rachel gone, Sarah buried her tired face in her arms and muttered a string of curses that would’ve gotten her arrested if she’d said them in public. She would’ve loved to just crawl back on the couch, fall asleep, and try to regain whatever strength she could for her next shift at the restaurant. Unfortunately, her uptight older sister had given her a lot to do. If she wanted to even have a couch to sleep on, she had to get to work and pretend she wasn’t too miserable.

To do that, however, she needed coffee. There was no way she could be that alert on a Saturday morning without it. Not having the extra money for a latte, she decided to take her sister’s advice and check with the new neighbor across the hall of her sister’s condo. If she were lucky, he or she wouldn’t ask her to flagellate herself for extra creamer.

Not bothering to put on less scruffy clothes, she walked out the front door and to the condo across the hall. Still too tired to give too many damns about waking someone up, she knocked on the door.

“Please don’t be a mean, vindictive bitch who makes me feel like shit,” she said under her breath. “Just once…let me meet someone who doesn’t bust my ass for being a fuck-up.”

Sarah hoped for the best, but prepared for the worst. Knowing her luck, the neighbor was a friend of Rachel’s who conspired with her to make her sister miserable. Much to her surprise, though, the person that answered didn’t look like a vindictive bitch. In fact – and it might have been the grogginess talking – it looked like a handsome, attractive man with dark hair, a light beard, and no shirt to conceal a very masculine, very fit physique.

“Good morning,” he greeted. “Can I help you with something.”

“Um…I uh,” Sarah stammered, suddenly feeling stupid for wearing such unflattering clothes.

“Are…you okay?” he asked her.

“Coffee!” she said, her brain finally working again. “Uh…do you have any coffee? I’m kind of out and…”

She kept stammering like a drunk prom date, which was saying something because she was used to being the one that made the opposite sex stammer. The man, who must have been a very understanding prom date, just laughed and opened the door.

“Sure, I have coffee,” he said. “Come on in. I just brewed a pot.”

“Uh…thanks,” said Sarah. “I really appreciate it. I’m…having a rough morning.”

“I can tell,” he said as he made his way to the kitchen. “Rough night?”

“More like rough life for the past five years.”

“Well, coffee won’t fix it, but it’ll help.”

Sarah laughed. He didn’t say anything particularly funny, but she still laughed. It felt good to laugh, though. She hadn’t been able to laugh much these past few years. Screwing up and making bad decisions had that effect on someone’s sense of humor. Who knew that being around a handsome man could heal it so quickly?

Trying to regain what little composure she had to begin with, she followed the handsome man into the room. Near as she could tell, he had just moved in. Everything was still messy. There were boxes, pictures, and pieces of furniture strewn everywhere. However, it didn’t strike her as the reckless kind of messy. It came off as a productive kind of mess, the kind that hinted at a man who had his shit together.

“You’ll have to forgive the mess,” the man said. “I just moved in yesterday and I’m still unpacking.”

“There’s nothing to forgive. I’ve seen, lived, and made bigger messes than this,” Sarah said.

“Wow. It sounds like you’ve had an interesting life, Miss…”

“Sarah,” she said, “Sarah Jones.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m James Holt. I’m not new to this county, this state, or this county, but I am new to this condo. It’s actually the first condo I’ve ever had…not to mention the first home of my own that I’ve ever had.”

“Damn, then this mess is deceptive,” she joked. “It sounds like you’ve got your shit together, James.”

“Trust me, I’m still behind the curve.”

Sarah had a hard to believing that for anyone who’d managed to buy their own place and not have to rely on vindictive siblings for living space. However, he was so damn handsome in the early morning sun that she didn’t bother doubting him.

She continued admiring his masculine physique as he handed her a cup of fresh coffee. In the process, her fingers touched his hands. She swore it warmed her up more than the coffee. She did what she could to hide it though, smiling awkwardly at him and trying not to hint at how much he’d brightened her morning.

Standing in the middle of the messy condo, Sarah began sipping her coffee with him. She didn’t even mind that it had no cream or sugar. James seemed to prefer it black anyways. As such, she found herself wanting to align herself with his preferences.

Drinking the coffee helped keep the silence from getting too awkward. The heat from his earlier touch only intensified, though. Sarah worried that both the caffeine and her racing heart might get the better of her.

Searching for a distraction, her eyes drifted towards the only picture that had been hung on the wall. It looked to be a letter of sorts. When she looked a bit closer, though, she was surprised to see that it wasn’t just any kind of letter.

“Hey…is that a rejection letter?” she asked him.

“Yep!” James said proudly. “That, Ms. Jones, is the rejection letter I got from my dream school. I had my heart set on one college, I thought I did enough to get in, and then I got rejected.”

“You say all of that with a beaming smile. Am I missing something here?”

“Well, there is a context,” he said. “You see, that rejection was the turning point for me. When I read it, I thought my life was over. Everything I’d planned for in my life depended on me getting into that school. When I didn’t, everything fell apart. I became a total wreck for years after that, so much so my parents kicked me out of the house until I got my shit together. And God help me, I thank them every day for that.”

Sarah looked at him as though he were an alien who just sprouted a second head. He described the kind of situation that crushed spirits and shattered dreams. She knew those situations well because she’d endured plenty of them. Now here was a handsome man in the middle of a new condo, talking about it as though it were the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.

“I’m going to need more context, here,” Sarah said.

“There’s not much more than that, actually,” said James. “After being a wreck for a while, I got tired and did something about it.”

“And…that worked?” she said skeptically.

“Not immediately, but eventually,” he replied. “I got serious, joined the army, into a vocational program, and worked my way to an awesome job in IT. Granted, it was nothing like the plan I’d originally had for myself, but it still worked out. I basically fulfilled a dream I didn’t know I had and it’s all because I got rejected. Amazing, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…unbelievable,” Sarah said distantly.

She found herself walking up to the framed letter and touching it with her hand. In that overpriced frame, she saw the same crushed spirits that had plagued her over the past few years. Yet standing next to her, drinking a cup of coffee, was a handsome man who took that same frustration and turned it into something. It was nothing short of inspiring. It also made her want this man more than she’d ever wanted her morning cup of coffee.

She ended up only drinking half the cup before setting the mug aside. She then turned to face the handsome man before her, who kept admiring the framed letter like a trophy. He deserved to admire it too. It made her admire him even more.

“James, can I ask you something serious?” she said.

“Does it involve me getting you more coffee?” he said in a humored tone.

“No. It doesn’t. It’s really serious,” Sarah said strongly. “You claimed you were a total wreck…that everything in your life fell apart.”

“And I meant it,” he said.

“But it got better, right? When you put in the work, made the right decisions, and gutted out the frustration…it panned out in the end, right?”

“Well, yeah,” James said, barely pausing to give it any thought.

“And if someone else who was a wreck…someone who feels so pathetic every morning, relying on vindictive siblings and generous neighbors for help…put in that same work, do you believe it’ll pan out for them too?”

She might have been a bit too specific with that question. She probably revealed more about herself than she’d intended. That was something she usually avoided, especially in the presence of an attractive man. However, for James, she gladly made an exception.

“Well, without assuming too much about how you ended up the way you did,” he began.

“Hey!” Who said it was me?” Sarah teased.

“Sarah, be serious,” James said with a coy grin. “Being a wreck sucks. Being broken, lost, and down on your luck sucks. But if you put in the work, stop making excuses, and just push forward…then yeah, it’ll pan out. I believe that.”

“You’d believe that for a woman you just met?”

“What can I say? I have a good feeling about you.”

He moved in a little closer when he said those words, giving Sarah a good whiff of his manly scent. He smelled like he hadn’t showered, but had a long night and worked up a hell of a sweat. It was the kind of musk that sent every womanly instinct into overdrive. Not since her junior prom had her loins been so inflamed and that had been in an overpriced dress.

At that moment, Sarah found herself making a decision that might either be a big mistake or the first genuinely right decision she’d made in a long time.

“James, I know I just met you and you just placed a lot of faith in a woman who just drank your coffee,” Sarah said, “but I need to know one more thing.”

“Okay, I’ll do my best to answer,” he said, sounding intrigued and maybe a little flirtatious.

“If I kissed you right now with my morning breath…and maybe wanted a little more than that…would you stop me.”

The handsome man who’d welcomed her into his new home with coffee and hope grinned at her. She swore his smile lit up her broken soul like a Christmas tree. He must have been a morning person because he set his coffee mug aside and moved in closer, giving him a bigger taste of his manly presence.

“No. I wouldn’t stop you,” he said in a deep, manly tone. “In fact, I’d encourage you.”

“Good!” said Sarah. “Because that’s exactly the encouragement I need right now.”

With more energy than she’d ever had this early in the morning, Sarah threw her arms around James and captured his lips in a hard, messy kiss. His breath still smelled like coffee and toast. Hers probably smelled worse. She didn’t care and neither did he. Within seconds, their lips and tongues were entwined and eager.

From that kiss came more intimate touching. She eagerly explored his exposed upper body while he felt up her hips and waist. The fact he didn’t seem to mind her overly-casual attire only made him more attractive in her eyes. As they kissed and touched, she found herself leading him to a couch covered in unopened boxes.

Along the way, she slid off her shirt and took off her pants, leaving her in a pair of cotton panties. He followed suit, stumbling a bit as he pulled down the loose-fitting pants he’d probably worn to bed last night. Together, they fell on the messy couch, laughing and kissing in a playful outburst of morning lust.

“Oh James…encourage me. Embolden me,” Sarah said curtly.

“Yes, ma’am!” James said eagerly.

Like a man on a mission, he shoved aside some empty boxes to give them more room. Then, he swiftly removed her panties, leaving her fully nude on his couch. Showing the kind of drive she could only envy, he pushed her legs a part and went down on her, gorging on her pussy and filling her with blissful sensations that roused her more than all the coffee in the world.

“Mmm…so encouraging!” she purred.

The man had been hungry for more than breakfast. He must have worked up quite an appetite because she noticed him taking off his boxers while eating her out, revealing a very appetizing endowment. Sarah had encountered men with a propensity for morning wood, but never like this.

“Sarah…ready to feel bolder?” he finally asked her after getting her pussy nice and wet.

“Hell yeah!” she answered without hesitation.

With burning intent, James shot up from the floor and got on top of her. Sarah eagerly spread her legs, welcoming him onto the couch so that he was right on top of her. She even showed off a little flexibility, hitching her legs up over his shoulders so he could enter her with ease. Once in position, he delivered a single thrust and in an instant, her hot flesh parted and welcomed him into her domain.

“Oohhh James!” Sarah cried out.

From that blissful proclamation on, her world rocked. She felt his powerful grip on her hips as he delivered a steady succession of thrusts, working his rigid manhood within her depths. It was so smooth and seamless, as though her body had been waiting for something like this…a feeling to make her feel stronger, bolder, and more determined to rebuild her life. The fact it felt so fucking good was a nice bonus too.

As James made love to her, Sarah passionately raked her nails along his back, feeling the manly sinews of his upper body. There was such strength in his flesh…a strength that had helped him rebuild his wreck of a life. Now, here he was, making love to her. Maybe some of that strength would be imparted to her.

Whether that happened or not remained to be seen. She’d just settle for great sex and a damn good orgasm. That ended up happening sooner than she’d expected. Together, they rocked his couch under the light of the morning sun, their naked bodies moving together in a harmonious union. His touch, his breath, and his sex sent her down a path of ecstasy, one that culminated in the most satisfying climax she’d had in a long time.

“Oohhh fuck!” she gasped. “I’m coming, James. I’m going to…come!”

“Mmm…me too, Sarah,” James moaned.

The pace of their sex accelerated. His hips moved faster and her body rocked harder. After a few, focused movements, he sent her over that special threshold that separated her from her blissful peak. When it happened, Sarah clenched his shoulders, closed her eyes, and threw her head back in a cry of euphoria.

White hot pleasure soon followed, the orgasmic sensations rippling from head to toe. Along with that pleasure came a strength that she didn’t usually associate with sex, although she wouldn’t mind making such a connection.

As she enjoyed her pleasure, James got his. She couldn’t tell exactly when it happened. She just sensed it when his grip on her hips tightened, his grunts intensified, and his powerful manhood throbbed inside her, his pleasure echoing hers. Even while in her orgasmic daze, she took the time to admire the contentment in his eyes.

It was the look of a man who appreciated the struggle of rebuilding a broken life. In him, she saw someone who had walked the path she’d been trying to walk. In her, she hoped he saw someone who was eager to catch up.

As the orgasmic sensations settled, he lingered on top of her. Their bodies remained entwined in a naked heap, his hands still roaming her exposed flesh while she caressed his rugged complexion.

“Thank you, James,” Sarah told him. “Thank you for encouraging me…for making me feel like I can rebuild my life. Oh, and thanks for the coffee!”

“You’re welcome,” James laughed, “and thank you for the morning sex. I think I’m going to like being your new neighbor.”

“Me too!”

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Why Our Assumptions About Male And Female Promiscuity May Be (Very) Wrong

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When it comes to assumption, we tend not to question them, by default. That’s why they’re assumptions. It’s literally in the definition. It’s entirely natural to make assumptions, especially when they have some sort of inherent logic to them. It’s just how we, as a species, make sense of a chaotic world that we’re trying to survive.

The problem is, as I’ve pointed out many times before, our caveman brains aren’t wired logic. They’re wired primarily to help us survive and reproduce. That’s why our brains are so prone to all sorts of logical fallacies. That’s also why it’s hard to let go of assumptions, even when empirical data a very different story.

This brings me to our assumptions about sexual promiscuity. I’m hope I have your attention now because I knew a bland article about logical fallacies, caveman logic, and false assumption wasn’t going to get anyone excited. Put it in a context that’s both sexy and relevant, especially to an aspiring erotica/romance writer, and there’s much more appeal.

Sexy or not, the issue of assumptions in our sex lives are a lot more relevant in the era of “fake news” and “alternative facts.” These days, people are more likely to cling to their assumptions than ever before, even in the face of obvious evidence to the contrary. Hell, “South Park” even did an entire episode about this concept.

There are all sorts of complex psychological and social reasons for this, some of which I’ve covered before in other less sexy discussions. However, I’m not going to belabor those concepts. Most people know that humans can be exceedingly stubborn, even when faced with undeniable data that counters their assumptions.

That becomes a bigger problem, though, when you’re actually trying to make sense of something on an academic level. Our collective sexuality is one of those things that we try to study and understand, even if our efforts turn out to be disturbingly wrong. I like to think we’ve gotten better at it in the modern era, but sometimes fresh data reveals there’s still room for improvement.

This leads me to one of the most common assumptions about sexuality and the particulars of sexual promiscuity. You’ve probably heard it articulated at some point. It’s the basic structure surrounding male promiscuity versus female promiscuity. It goes like this:

  • Men are promiscuous because sperm production is cheap and there’s an biological incentive to have sex with multiple females in order to sire multiple offspring
  • Women are more selective about their sex partners because bearing children is risky and requires resources, which incentivizes securing men who will stick around to care for those children

There are all sorts of jokes and colloquialisms about this, men being dogs and women being angels. It’s also reflective of the most obvious double standards surrounding male and female sexuality and for most people, it makes sense.

A man can have sex with a thousand woman and, in theory, sire a thousand children. Ignoring the egregious child support payments this man would have to pay, it is consistent with the biological imperative to survive and reproduce.

Conversely, it makes just as much sense for a woman to secure a male partner who won’t just have children with her, but stay with her and invest in raising those children with her. This bears out in the many benefits ascribed to two-parent households.

However, if these assumptions were so logical and so biologically sound, then that would be reflected in the data we gather about our sexuality. Logic should be consistent with data, right? That’s the entire foundation of the scientific method, after all.

This is where the details get sketchy, but in a sexy sort of way. In an article from The Conversation, much of the biological data behind these assumptions about sexual promiscuity among men and women gets an added bit of scrutiny. In doing so, some revealing details emerge. Here is a brief excerpt that should raise a few eyebrows, among other body parts.

The common belief was that males and females were radically different. Moreover, attitudes about Victorian women influenced beliefs about nonhuman females. Males were considered to be active, combative, more variable, and more evolved and complex. Females were deemed to be passive, nurturing; less variable, with arrested development equivalent to that of a child. “True women” were expected to be pure, submissive to men, sexually restrained and uninterested in sex – and this representation was also seamlessly applied to female animals.

Although these ideas may now seem quaint, most scholars of the time embraced them as scientific truths. These stereotypes of men and women survived through the 20th century and influenced research on male-female sexual differences in animal behavior.

Unconscious biases and expectations can influence the questions scientists ask and also their interpretations of data. Behavioral biologist Marcy Lawton and colleagues describe a fascinating example. In 1992, eminent male scientists studying a species of bird wrote an excellent book on the species – but were mystified by the lack of aggression in males. They did report violent and frequent clashes among females, but dismissed their importance. These scientists expected males to be combative and females to be passive – when observations failed to meet their expectations, they were unable to envision alternative possibilities, or realize the potential significance of what they were seeing.

The same likely happened with regard to sexual behavior: Many scientists saw promiscuity in males and coyness in females because that is what they expected to see and what theory – and societal attitudes – told them they should see.

There’s much more to the article and I strongly recommend everyone take the time to read it, in full. It’s somewhat long because it references a lot of old research on animal behavior, as well as cultural attitudes towards sex and gender. However, the underlying theme is fairly clear.

The assumptions about coy, reserved females and aggressive, promiscuous males aren’t clearly reflected in the observed data. In fact, cultural attitudes going all the way back to the Victorian Era may have influenced our interpretation of the data, leading us to negate anything that countered those assumptions. That’s confirmation bias at its most basic.

This is similar to the message in the book, “Sex At Dawn,” which basically argues that our caveman ancestors had much better sex lives than we did. In that context, male and female promiscuity plays out in a very different way that also clashes with many of our assumptions.

In both “Sex At Dawn” and the article, the data seems to suggest that promiscuous females have higher rates of reproductive success. Biologically speaking, this makes sense because she’s getting a diverse sample of sperm and the higher quality material eventually finds a way to win out.

I’ll resist the urge to paint too crude a picture, although I will say that women pursuing a variety of men and attempting to weed out the best among them should not be too shocking. When you’re looking to find love and/or a baby daddy, you want quality and you can’t really be sure of that quality unless you find ways to test it. That’s not quite as dirty as it sounds, but it’s close.

With men, the data also clashes with the assumptions that men need only hump as many things with a pulse as possible. The article questions the idea that sperm is cheap and men’s contributions are purely resource-driven. The data actually suggests that men exercise a considerable degree of selection in choosing their partners. Just having a pulse and a vagina is not the only criteria.

As is now also well-documented, sperm production is limited and males can run out of sperm – what researchers term “sperm depletion.”

Consequently, we now know males may allocate more or less sperm to any given female, depending on her age, health or previous mated status. Such differential treatment among preferred and nonpreferred females is a form of male mate choice. In some species, males may even refuse to copulate with certain females. Indeed, male mate choice is now a particularly active field of study.

In essence, men are capable of being selective and downright loyal to their partners. Women are also just as capable of being sexually open, seeking out a variety of lovers in search of quality partners, both for social and reproductive success. In that sense, the promiscuous tendencies of both genders are a lot more level than any Victorian Era assumption would have us believe.

Add on top of this the documented health benefits of sexual promiscuity, as well as the sexual mores of our hunter/gatherer ancestors, and it’s increasingly clear that our assumptions about the sexual promiscuity are not consistent with biology, logic, or reality in general.

In a sense, our society already reflects this. The growing prevalence of blended families shows that the Victorian ideals that later played out in 1950s sitcoms aren’t accurate reflections of human nature. I doubt that this data will shatter the various assumptions that many still have on sexual promiscuity, but as with most excuses, they can only clash with reality so much.

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My Five Major Goals For 2018

It’s over. The year that was 2017 is complete. To say it was eventful, especially given the events that affected it in 2016, would be an understatement on par with calling Jennifer Lawrence decent looking. It’s certainly been an eventful year for me, but I’m ready to close the book on 2017 and look ahead to 2018.

Every year, I try to establish a set of goals at the beginning so that I have some semblance of focus for the coming year. They’re rarely specific or overly-ambitious, but they give me a sense of perspective that help me guide myself forward in a positive way. I genuinely want to improve myself year after year, both an erotica/romance writer and a man.

Looking back at the goals I set for myself in 2017, I think it’s safe to say I made progress. It’s not quite as much as I hoped, but I feel as though I’ve taken a step forward. I’d like to keep moving forward in 2018 and I encourage everyone else to do so.

With that in mind, I’d like to share a list of goals that I’ve set for myself for 2018. While these aren’t the only goals I intend to pursue, as every year tends to bring unexpected challenges, I want these to serve as the foundation for how I’ll make 2018 both enjoyable and sexy.


Goal #1: Promote The Hell Out Of “Rescued Hearts”

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This is the most pressing goal I’ll face in the early parts of 2018. As I announced earlier this year, my next published novel by Totally Entwined Group is “Rescued Hearts” and it’s set for release in February. It’ll be my second major release since “Passion Relapse” and I hope to make it the foundation of greater success.

Now, I never expected “Passion Relapse” to be a best seller from the get-go, nor did I expect any of my other self-published novels to gain that kind of audience. I understand that I’m still fairly new to this industry. I’ve released less than a dozen novels and I’ve yet to build a strong audience. “Rescued Hearts” is just another step in that effort and I’m hoping it’ll be a big one.

As I’ve mentioned before, I know little about marketing. I can talk about sexy topics all day long, but selling them is a challenge. I’m hoping to learn more about that process in 2018, although I’m not sure which form that’ll take. I hope Totally Entwined Group will continue to help me, both as an author and as someone trying to stake his claim in this sexy industry. By the time 2018 ends, I want to feel like I’ve made real progress.


Goal #2: Finalize And Submit Two Additional Manuscripts

While I intend to focus heavily on promoting “Rescued Hearts” upon release, I’ve no intention of stopping slowing down the development of other sexy ideas. During the latter parts of 2017, I worked hard to complete a couple of manuscripts that I intend to submit to my publisher very soon. Given how helpful Totally Entwined Group has been, they’ll likely have priority.

However, these stories are quite different from both “Passion Relapse” and “Rescued Hearts.” I’m trying to mix up the sexiness as I grow as a writer. That means you won’t see some of the same themes I’ve been exploring in previous novels. You’ll see a different kind of sex appeal, one I hope expands the appeal of my work.

While I’m hopeful for these manuscripts, I won’t hide from the fact that they’re still in need of editing and revising. The first draft of a manuscript is almost always subject to some pretty major revisions. Even my first novel, “Passion Relapse,” involved a complete re-write of the ending. I don’t know whether these manuscripts will require that much revision, but I’m willing to put in the work to ensure they’re sufficiently sexy.

These manuscripts are both a work-in-progress. I’m also exploring a few other ideas for my next manuscript. Most of these ideas are tentative so don’t expect to hear much for now, but I’m hoping I’ll have plenty of sexy ideas to announce in 2018.


Goal #3: Continue Growing The Traffic And Audience Of This Blog

More than anything else, I’ll remember 2017 as the year the traffic for this website really took off. I’ve already mentioned it a couple of times. It started back in November and only continued to grow as the year went on. Much of this is thanks to me joining Reddit and sharing my work with that community. The response has been overwhelmingly positive for the most part.

I want to continue that trend into 2018. I want to keep growing the traffic volume for this blog. That effort is tied directly into the process I mentioned in previous goals to grow an audience. I want this site to be part of peoples’ regular internet diet. Whether it’s my Sexy Sunday Thoughts or my serious discussions on major issues, I want it to have a presence.

The only way I, or anyone on the internet, can achieve that is to continue providing awesome content. I’m not sure at the moment what form that content will take. I’m not even sure which topics I’ll explore. Some of that depends on what happens in the real world. Given all the major events that took place in 2017, I imagine I’ll have plenty to talk about.

I can’t guarantee all those discussions will be sexy, but I will try to make them relevant and meaningful. The internet is already full of digital trash. I’d like to not add to it.


Goal #4: Work On My Personal Life And Get Serious About Finding Love

This goal has little to do with my site and more to do with me, as a person. I’ve mentioned before how I’ve struggled to find a meaningful love in my life. It has been quite a while since I’ve had a steady girlfriend and that has already caused some awkward moments that give me cause for concern.

As always, I look at 2018 with a new hope that this year will be different. My situation is already evolving. As I write this, I’m settling into a new life in a new condominium. It’s my first condo that I own and inhabit myself. I’m hoping that’ll add to my overall appeal with the opposite sex and I intend to keep working on myself to find that special someone.

I get that this will likely be a bigger challenge than most. As is often the case in matters of love, you can’t just expect to bump into the love of your life and let made-for-TV Disney movie take it from there. You have to actually work at being in situations where the one you love will find you. Whether that’s my new neighborhood or the New York City Comic Con, I hope to find that someone this year.


Goal #5: Intensify My Workout And Emphasize More Body Building

This is another personal effort that has little relation to this website or my writing, but part of understanding sex appeal involved enhancing your own. I’ve recounted how I initially got into shape years ago when I effectively shamed myself into going to the gym. I intend to continue that effort in 2018.

However, I’d like to step it up a bit. My new condominium actually has an on-site gym, something I haven’t had before. I’m hoping that this will provide new opportunities and fewer excuses to further improve my health and my sex appeal. Whether it’s with more body building or better athletic training, I want to make that effort.

It’s not going to be easy, but that’s exactly why it’s worth doing. In a sense, this goal feeds into all the others. If I’m going to continue writing about sexy topics and producing sexy novels, I might as well try to be sexy myself. Going to the gym more, sweating it out, and becoming the kind of man I hope women will want to love can only help make 2018 a better, sexier year.

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Study Confirms We’re Hornier Around The Holidays

I love the holidays. In terms of themes, traditions, and elaborate decorations, there’s just so much to love about them. I’ve loved them since I was a kid. I still love them as an adult. The older I get, the more reasons I find the love the holidays.

With that in mind, I’d like to share one of those reasons for anyone who might not have enough to love the holidays as much as I do. Even if you don’t need another reason, one more couldn’t hurt. On top of that, this one has to do with sex, love, and making babies under the light of a Christmas tree. I hope I have your attention now.

No, this isn’t just me trying to sell one of my sexy holiday-themed novels, although I do have one that I’m more than happy to promote. This is me reporting on a real scientific phenomenon that’s both sexy and festive, a potent combination for this time of year, if ever there was one.

It comes courtesy of Health.com, a site not known for being festive or sexy. However, one particular reports on a lesser-known phenomenon associated with the holidays and it has little to do with how many times people watch “The Charlie Brown Christmas Special.”

According to a real study published in Scientific Reports, there is a notable uptick in sexual interest during the holidays and that interest actually results in a surge of babies the following September. No, this isn’t something out of The Onion. This is a direct quote.

More babies are born in September than any other month in the United States, which means that nine months prior—right around Christmas and New Year’s—is the most popular time of year for conception.

Think about that for a moment, especially if your birthday is in September. Despite all the whining about the so-called War on Christmas or the overt commercialization of Christmas, there’s still something about the holidays that gets people in the mood. As an aspiring erotica/romance writer and a lover of Christmas, this fills my eyes with tears of holiday joy.

The actual data of the study is pretty revealing in that holidays seem to have a genuine effect on our collective libido. It’s not just Christmas that sees this effect either, but since it’s the biggest holiday of the year in terms of raw capital, the sexy effects are most pronounced.

If you’re interested in the raw data or just want to know the specifics of such a sexy study, here’s what researchers at Indiana University and the Instituto Gulbenkian de Ciencia in Portugal did to surmise this sexy, yet festive conclusion. It’s not exactly in depth, but the results speak for themselves.

To investigate mood and interest in sex, researchers looked at Google Trends data from 2004 to 2014, and Twitter data from 2010 to 2014, in nearly 130 countries. In predominantly Christian countries, they found that web searches for the word sex were highest around Christmas—even in countries in the Southern hemisphere, like Australia and Argentina, where Christmas takes place in the summer.

In majority Muslim countries, web searches for sex spiked around Eid-al-Fitr, a major holiday that marks the end of Ramadan. This was particularly interesting, say the researchers, since Ramadan is based on a lunar calendar and is observed during different seasons, depending on the year.

The study is the first “planetary-level” look at human interest and desire as they refer to sex and reproduction at different times of the year, says co-lead author Luis Rocha, PhD, professor of informatics and associate professor of cognitive science at Indiana University. And it offers strong support for the idea that interest in sex peaks during major cultural or religious celebrations, he says.

Beyond the data, it makes a lot of sense from a purely anecdotal perspective. The holidays, especially Christmas, make us all more inherently aware of traditions and personal connections. We often take time off work, break from our rigorous routines, and share quality moments with our loved ones.

More quality moments, absent the rigors of work, mean more opportunities to get sexy. Add cold weather that forces us to remain indoors and huddling together for body heat and those opportunities get even sexier. It’s just basic math and the sexiest kind of biology.

Considering there’s more than one person in my family who was born in September, I like to think my folks have contributed to this phenomenon. I think it’s a phenomenon that deserves more celebration, even if it can never exceed the strong association between holidays and overpriced toys.

It’s also worth noting that in the pre-Christian era of Western Civilization, there was this proto-Christmas holiday that Ancient Roman celebrated called Saturnalia. While some of its traditions aren’t directly linked to the holiday that became Christmas, it did involve such festivities as gift-giving, feasts, and constant partying. For those with particularly elaborate holiday traditions, that should sound familiar.

Whatever the source, be it the pre-Christian traditions or the modern commercialism we’ve all embraced, there’s just something about the holidays that makes us all feel a bit friskier. It’s a beautiful thing and the fact that there’s real science to bake it up just makes it all the more beautiful.

So, in the spirit of the holidays, I urge everyone to take some time in between gift-giving and Christmas cookies to get a little extra cozy with your lover. You won’t be offending anyone’s religious sensibilities by doing so. In fact, you’ll be carrying on a proud tradition that the human race has celebrated since it invented the concept of holidays. If we’re going to celebrate anything, we’re going to get sexy while doing it.

With that in mind, I hope this adds a little sex appeal to your holiday traditions. If, come September, you find that your festities resulted in the creation of a new life, then you just gave that child even more reasons to love Christmas. Everybody wins.

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“The Greatest Gift” A Short (And Sexy) Christmas Story

The following is a short, but sweet sexy story that I wrote to get everyone in the holiday spirit. With Christmas only a few days away, I thought I’d write a little something to celebrate the season, as only an aspiring erotica/romance writer can.

It’s not as long or elaborate as my last holiday-themed novel, “Holiday Heat.” It’s just a simple little story that mixes love, sex, and the holidays into one sweet little narrative. Enjoy!

It was set to be the loneliest Christmas she’d had since her grandmother died. Jessie should’ve been used to it, having lost her father at a young age and endured many quiet Christmas mornings with few presents and limited festivities. However, she’d come to love bigger, more elaborate moments as she grew older.

After meeting her boyfriend, Robby, she thought those quiet mornings were over. For the past three years, he’d gone out of his way to make Christmas extra special for her. He came from a big family and going over to his house was like entering a holiday paradise, full of elaborate meals, abundant presents, and a buffet of succulent deserts. Thanks to him, she’d grown to love Christmas and being part of Robby’s family.

Then, about a month ago, Jessie got a double dose of bad news that promises to derail her Christmas entirely. Robby’s father got sick with severe bronchitis and had to spend several months in Florida with his brother recovering. Most of the family was going to follow suit and join him for Christmas. Jessie thought she’d be going with him.

That was when the second bit of bad news dropped. Her mother got into a car accident, breaking a leg and injuring her back. She ended up needing surgery, the kind that required a recovery period that extended beyond the holidays. As a result, a plane trip to Florida just wasn’t feasible. She had to stay home and Jessie couldn’t leave her. She needed her help around the house as she recovered.

That meant no elaborate feasts and festivities with Robby’s family. It also meant her mother’s ability to celebrate was severely limited. The most they could do was exchange some gifts, having a light meal, and watch Christmas specials all day. If that weren’t bad enough, a snow storm had rolled in and few relatives would be able to drop by to help.

It made Christmas Eve feel even colder than it already was. After spending most of the day putting up decorations and keeping her mother comfortable, she felt too tired to be festive. It seemed like this year’s Christmas would be the same quiet, uneventful affair that left her so jaded as a kid.

When she curled up in her old bedroom that night, having agreed to sleep over at her mother’s house to make things easier on Christmas morning, Jessie expected this year to be one of the most forgettable holidays of her adult life.

“Guess this year counts as one big setback,” she sighed to herself after turning off the light, “and just when I was starting to really like the holidays again. Maybe I’m just not meant to enjoy Christmas like most people. Maybe I just can’t be part of Robby’s festive world.”

It sounded so sad when she said it out loud. It made her want to cry right then and there. Jessie ended up burying her face in her pillow, muffling her voice and absorbing any tears she’d shed. The best she could do, now, was rest up and brace for another solemn holiday.

She tried not to think about all the elaborate ways Robby’s family were enjoying themselves down in Florida. She swore she could smell the chocolate pie his mother made or his sister’s succulent cookies from 800 miles away. Most of all, Jessie tried not to think of how great it felt when Robby held her in his arms, even when he wore that ugly old Christmas sweater that he’d bought in college and refused to throw away.

It was nothing short of torturous, contemplating what she’d miss. Not being with Robby and his family was like the antithesis of a Christmas miracle, a gut-punch to her holiday spirit. She wanted to make the most of the time she had with her mother, but between her injuries and her tendency to recount sad memories of her father during the holidays, it wasn’t looking good.

Jessie closed her eye, groaned into her pillow, and just wished she could skip the holidays entirely.

“It’s not fair!” she lamented. “Why does Christmas have to suck so much? Just this once, can I get a break?”

Jessie kept her face buried in her pillow, muttering a string of curses in hopes she’d just pass out from frustration. She was so tired that she was ready to just let the rest of the holidays pass her boy completely.

Then, just as she was about to nod off, she heard a loud thump against her window. Considering her room was on the second floor of her mother’s house, that was pretty rare. At first, she thought it was just a large chunk of snow blowing off one of the trees and hitting the side of the house. However, another thump followed, along with a familiar voice.

“Jessie!” it said through the cold December night. “Open the window. It’s me!”

Almost immediately, Jessie’s ears perked up and she shot up from the bed. She’d recognize that voice through a window, a snow storm, and a goddamn hurricane. It was Robby, but that should’ve been impossible. Either she was having one of those vivid Christmas dreams or her boyfriend was actually outside her window somehow. Both seemed unbelievable.

“Hurry up, Jessie!” he said. “It’s colder than penguin’s ass out here. Only your ass can warm me up at this point.”

“Holy shit, it is him!” Jessie gasped.

There was no denying it. Only Robby could’ve said something so crude, yet so cute to her on a cold winter night. That meant he was really there. It wasn’t a dream.

With the energy of a kid on Christmas morning, Jessie shot up from the bed and over towards the window. Sure enough, she saw Robby outside, standing atop a ladder with his hand pressed against the glass.

Where he got the ladder and why he was here instead of Florida were just some of the many burning questions she had. Seeing the heavy snow falling outside, she set them aside and opened the window so he could get in. As soon as the window opened, he crawled into her small, yet cozy room. He was shivering, despite wearing multiple layers, but he still had that goofy, lovable smile on his face. Not questioning whether or not it was a dream, Jessie just took him in her arms and hugged him.

“Robby! Oh my God, it is you!” Jessie exclaimed.

“Yep,” he said, shivering as he hugged her back. “I’m here. Tropical weather, warm beaches, and sunny mornings were nice and all for the holidays…except, it didn’t have you.”

“And you ditched your family to be with me, your hapless girlfriend?” she said curtly.

“I didn’t ditch them. They urged me to come here. Even my dad said this is where I should be on Christmas…with the woman I love, in her time of need, celebrating the holidays with her.”

“That…might just be the most romantic thing any man has ever said to me.”

“You mean fully clothed, right?”

“No, Robby. I don’t,” Jessie said strongly.

Her heart was racing. In an instant, the notion that she would endure a lonely, uneventful Christmas faded completely. Even if she couldn’t spend it in Florida with Robby’s family, just being in his arms and feeling his loving embrace was enough to reinvigorate her holiday spirit…among other things.

In an outburst of passion and holiday spirit, Jessie kissed her thoughtful boyfriend with all the love and heart of a million Christmas specials. He eagerly kissed back, even as he shed the heavy coat he’d been wearing to brave the cold. However, she quickly made it clear that she didn’t want him to stop there.

“Robby…you came all this way to be with me,” she told him. “So be with me.”

“Well, I was going to ask for some hot cocoa to warm up first,” he said playfully, “but if this is how you want to warm me up…”

Jessie didn’t let him finish. She was too excited and impassioned to waste another second of this Christmas miracle. Robby was here now, in her room and in her arms on Christmas Eve. That was proof enough that he loved her just that much. Her only Christmas wish from that point forward was to return that love and that wasn’t something she could do fully clothed.

Not caring how wet and cold his clothes were, Jessie helped him strip out of them bit by bit. By the time he was down to his boxers, his skin still felt so cold, but his lips felt so hot. That was all the reason she needed to jump him where he stood, throwing her arms and legs around him and her body heat mesh with his.

The cold and the long trip must have made him extra impassioned as well. As soon as he caught her in his arms, he carried her over to her bed. Together, they crawled under the covers where they made out like a couple of horny prom dates. Already, she felt his flesh warming up, but hers was already too hot to bear. It led her to remove her sleeping attire, with Robby’s help.

“Off…get it all off,” Jessie urged him.

She quickly slid her tight-fitting cotton shirt off over her head while Robby removed her sweatpants, panties and all. His boxers soon followed, revealing a semi-hard dick that even the December cold couldn’t temper. It showed just how much he wanted her sex and her love.

“Ooh Jessie,” Robby gasped as he took in her naked body.

“Robby…make love to me,” she told him.

For a moment, he just gazed at her with his loving eyes. It felt like the gaze of a Christmas angel, one who’d answered her payers for a holiday miracle. There wasn’t just a deep love in his eyes. There was a desire to mend the pain of so many cold and lonely holidays.

Those feelings, and the powerful desires behind them, led him to embrace her naked body as only he could. Jessie eagerly embraced him back with desire of her own, wrapping her arms and legs around him as he got on top of her. Then, in what might have been the greatest Christmas gift anyone had ever given her, Robby made love to her.

It was so raw, yet focused…so intense, yet affectionate. Under the thick covers, the rippling muscles of his manly body glided against the sensual curves of her feminine figure. His flesh melded with hers, sinews entwined like a million pieces coming together to form a single whole. Her body welcomed his, taking him into her depths and feeling his flesh, as well as his love, fill her with every movement.

The sensations that followed were intense and hot, not an easy feat on such a cold, snowy night. It didn’t matter, though. They could’ve been at the North Pole and it wouldn’t have mattered. She and Robby were going to make hot sex and passionate love tonight. There was no way around it.

Jessie had no idea how long they went at it or how many times she’d climaxed in the process. With Robby, it was so easy to lose track. It could’ve been as many as ten, but no fewer than three. All she knew that when all was said and done, they were warmer and more content than any couple could’ve been on Christmas Eve.

“I love you, Jessie,” Robby said to her, breathless from so much spent passion.

“I love you too, Robby,” she told him, “and thank you…for making this the best Christmas ever.”

“You’re welcome, babe.”

They shared one last passionate kiss before settling into a blissful state of post-coital afterglow. Now lying atop his naked body, the thick comforter draped over them, Jessie gazed up at her wonderful lover. He looked so happy, despite not being with his family in a tropical climate. The way he held her in his arms made clear that there was nowhere else he’d rather be.

She made sure he knew the feeling was mutual, holding him closely and listening to his heart beating in his chest. She made sure he fell asleep knowing how much she loved him. She could do no less for the lover that had captured her heart and saved her Christmas spirit.

The next morning, Christmas morning, Jessie awoke to find that her lover was still in her bed and they were still as naked as they’d been when they fell asleep. Robby was still fast asleep. Being a deep sleeper, especially after sex, she didn’t expect him to wake up for a good long while.

That was just fine with her, though. Jessie would’ve been perfectly content spending the whole day like this, lying in bed with her lover and creating all sorts of sexy Christmas memories.

However, that plan fell apart the moment her bedroom door opened and her mother entered, leaning hard on her crutches and looking as restless as any adult on Christmas morning.

“Jessie, are you up yet?” her mother greeted, as though she didn’t even noticed Robby.

“Mom?!” Jessie gasped, immediately holding the comforter up to her naked body a little closer.

It was embarrassing, but not as mortifying as it could’ve been. Her mother knew she was a grown woman. She also knew that she and Robby had been intimate before. That still didn’t mean she liked her mother barging in her room when she was naked with her lover.

However, she didn’t seem all that taken aback and Robby barely stirred from his slumber.

“I put the coffee on. If you want to open presents, get up and get dressed already,” her mother told her.

“Mmm…sounds good,” said Robby groggily.

Still holding the blanket up to her body, Jessie was confused, if not mildly amused. She looked over at Robby, who had that goofy smile on his face again. Then, she looked back at her mother, who had a similar smile. She had a lot of questions, but she had a feeling the answers weren’t going to make this Christmas any less memorable.

“Um…mind filling me in on some context here?” Jessie asked awkwardly.

“Jessie, sweetie,” her mother said with a wide grin, “who do you think lent him the ladder?”

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When Sex Robots Come (And Have Children)

It has been a while since I talked about sex robots . For that, I apologize. I like to think I keep up with all things related to sex robots, be it major news regarding the first sex doll brothel to deeper insights on how sex robots will affect society. Let’s face it. There are many implications with sex robots, as is often the case with anything that affects our sex lives.

More recently, most of those implications have centered around what happens when sex robots gain a measure of intelligence. We already have non-intelligent sex dolls that have the look and feel of real human flesh, even if they’ll never be mistaken for a real person. Sex robots that utilize artificial intelligence are still a ways off, but they are coming.

I realize that’s a crude joke that most would expect of someone who writes sexy novels in his spare time. I’ll try to limit those remarks for now because this particular issue regarding sex robots is no laughing matter. This time, it doesn’t involve the dangers of artificial intelligence, if you can believe that. Instead, it involves the very real possibility that sex robots may one day bear children.

I’ll give everyone a moment to stop rolling their eyes and/or cringing. I realize that possibility probably hadn’t crossed your mind until I mentioned it. The very concept seems antithetical to the purpose of a sex robot. Isn’t it just supposed to be the perfect sexual outlet for horny men and women? The robot getting pregnant would seriously undermine that use.

Well, maybe that applies in the world of softcore porn where there are no children, pubic hair doesn’t exist, and underpaid baristas are ridiculously hot. In the real world, there are more complexities to people, society, and the desires that drive them. Chief among those desires is the urge to reproduce.

Sure, sex is usually the primary component of that desire, but it’s not the only one. Deep within that longing for the toe-curling pleasure that we seek, be it through a lover or a sex robot, is also a desire to create the next generation. It’s kind of an important desire since it’s a big reason why humanity is the most dominant species on this planet.

So where exactly do sex robots play into this? Well, there are already people out there who have given this subject much more thought than I have. Granted, some of that thought is way beyond current sex robot technology, but the concepts and principles are already in place.

According to Sergi Santos, a sex robot inventor and enthusiast who might be to sex robots what Steve Jobs was to computers, the process would be fairly simple and not involve nearly as many labor pains. He described the process as follows.

Using the brain I have already created, I would program it with a genome so he or she could have moral values, plus concepts of beauty, justice and the values that humans have.

Then to create a child with this robot it would be extremely simple.

I would make an algorithm of what I personally believe about these concepts, and then shuffle it with what she thinks and then 3D print it.

That’s it. I 3D print the robot that is the child of me and the robot, I don’t see any complications.

Granted, it’s not a very sexy process and it lacks all the nine-month rituals that we’ve come to associate with creating new life. There are no baby showers, ultrasounds, or pregnancy cravings. The entire process is largely mechanical, using the same principles that comes with shuffling genes and traits, but implementing it in a more technologically-driven manner.

It basically takes Aldous Huxley’s dystopian fever dream, “Brave New World,” to a far greater extreme. It doesn’t just reduce reproduction to a process that’s not unlike getting a car custom made. It utterly separates it from the physical act of sex. Sure, some of the genetic material might be utilized in some way, but the actual gestation process is not the same.

Rick and Morty” already toyed with this concept in an episode that involved sex robots, gender wars, and a scene inspired by “Flashdance.” I swear I’m not making any of that up, but it’s a concept that addresses a serious issue that may very well arise once sex robots mature.

Once these devices get to a point where they’re intelligent, realistic, and capable of providing the necessary fulfillment that people seek, then what happens to our species’ ability to propagate? If sex robots get to the point where anyone can basically design the perfect lover, then what use will anyone have for old fashioned reproduction?

Don’t just think this will apply to men, either. There will be sex robots for women as well because, contrary to popular belief, women do get horny too. Those robots will be able to have babies too. I’ll give everyone a moment while their heads stop exploding.

How that process might play out is not something that Mr. Santos or Huxley even imagined. However, if the only ingredient necessary is a woman’s biological material and a sex robot with the right materials, then there’s no reason it can’t make a baby as efficiently as their male counterparts. Maybe the woman will want to carry it or opt to just have it printed. Sufficiently advanced sex robots will give them many options.

Sure, there may always be people who favor making babies the old fashioned way. That’s why there are still communities that shun modern technology. However, there’s a reason why those communities are small, secluded, and have limited influence. The appeal of technology and the promise it offers is just too enticing to most people.

Make no mistake, either. While it seems strange and kinky now, the idea of reproducing with a sex robot will have appeal. Talk to any woman who has ever endured the rigors of pregnancy and all the complications that come with it. If the process that Mr. Santos described above is even half as effective as he proclaims, then that’s still plenty enticing for those seeking an alternative method of propagating the species.

Imagine a process that doesn’t take nine grueling months. Imagine a process that doesn’t require morning sickness, frequent check-ups with a doctor, or stretch marks. Again, ask any woman who endured a rough pregnancy. Few will say it was easy, let alone comfortable.

A sex robot that can have a child, whether it’s through an artificial womb or the 3D-printing process imagined by Mr. Stantos, provides that last critical function for a sex robot. Now, it won’t just be the perfect sexual partner. It will also be the perfect breeding machine.

It’s impossible to overstate how huge the implications are of something like that. If every individual on the planet just used a sex robot for their sexual needs, then our species would naturally go extinct. That’s just basic biology. However, give those robots the ability to reproduce and the rules of basic biology are no longer applicable.

As I’ve noted before, nature sets the bar pretty low when it comes to evolutionary success. If a trait helps a species survive and reproduce, then everything else on top of it is just icing on the cake. A sex robot that can both help us reproduce and give us great sex may very well rewrite the template by which our species operates.

The possibilities are both extraordinary and kinky. It may very well serve as the basis for one of my novels in the future. Most people alive today will still see the idea of a sex robot having children as a strange, if not obscene idea. Even our kids may feel that way, albeit to a lesser extent.

Then again, the same could be said for previous advances in reproductive technologies, such as in-vitro fertilization. Just this past year, the first child ever born through a transplanted uterus was born. The way humans reproduce is already changing and it’s going to keep changing.

Like everything else in our lives, we humans are going to find ways to make amazing tools to help us survive. It’s only a matter of time before we use those same tools to help us make better, healthier, sexier babies. Sex robots, whatever form they take, will likely be part of that process.

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