Tag Archives: sexy comedy

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Body Heat Edition

It’s getting to be that time of year again. Sadly, it has nothing to do with Halloween. I have a feeling that the ongoing global pandemic will temper/shatter all Halloween spirits this year. It has more to do with the shifting weather. Fall is already here in my part of the world. If you happen to live in a tropical climate that never gets cold, you probably don’t care. We also envy you. Don’t let that got to your head.

For the rest of us, it’s getting cold. A few nights ago marked the coldest night in my area since February. I had to actually get an extra blanket. I also imagine that for the lovers out there lucky enough to share a bed, it was the first night when you valued one another’s body heat.

It’s an understated, but still very sensual aspect to love. Body heat is one of those things that’s both sexy and pragmatic. On cold nights, like the ones we’re bound to face, we cherish it for some added warmth. If you happen to have a crappy heater, it’s even more valuable. The added sexy stuff that goes with it is just a nice bonus.

It’s sexy and it helps save money. That’s as much a win-win as we’re ever going to get these days. Where I live, it’s already shaping up to be a much worse winter than last year. If I can’t find a lover to keep me warm, I’ll have to stick with some extra blankets and these Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!


“Imagine and appreciate how much trust it takes to let someone else shave your pubic hair.”


“Melodrama is the political debate between your heart and your genitals.”


“Freedom allows us to explore our kinks while repression forces us to make new ones.”


“A big part of loving someone is aligning when and how you get horny.”


“There’s a good chance you’ll be a little uncomfortable with the type and quantity of porn your lover has consumed.”


“Going to church and getting laid is a greater accomplishment than going to a club and getting laid.”


“You can’t protest overpopulation without protesting orgasms to some extent.”

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Wedding Party Edition

If you’re a romantic and you don’t like weddings, then you’re sending mixed messages. I admit that when I was a kid, I didn’t care for weddings that much. In my defense, that was before I developed my fondness for romance, parties, and an open bar.

Now, as I’ve gotten older and come to appreciate all those things, I have a strong appreciation for weddings and the parties they inspire.

The world may feel like a never-ending disaster in a year like this. Joyous moments and events have been few and far between. In that sense, a beautiful wedding is a perfect counterbalance. We celebrate a beautiful moment, a culmination of a beautiful love. I honestly can’t think of a better way to counter the awfulness of this past year.

For those who are delaying their wedding to next year, I completely understand. To those hoping to still have their wedding this year, I say go for it! It’s worth doing. Love is always worth it. To that end, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help motivate you. Enjoy!


“A man who loves tacos should be more inclined to love oral sex.”


“Great sex won’t make you fall in love, but you’ll be more willing to make the effort.”


“Catching your lover masturbating may just mean you’re libidos are out of sync.”


“Beauty will only take you so far if you’re a lazy lover.”


“Hate is dangerous, but hate sex is an accomplishment.”


“Rough sex is the only time when profanity can be instructive.”


“A man bragging about the size of his dick was likely the first case of false advertising.”

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Rainy Day Loving Edition

I know talking about the weather is so mundane, but in a year as awful as 2020, I think it’s oddly refreshing. Now, I’m not going to just wax poetic about how nice it is to go out on a sunny day, spend some time with friends, and have some fun with your lover, if you’re lucky enough to have one. That’s all well and good. For me, however, I’ve always found rainy days more relaxing.

I think it runs in my family. One of my father’s favorite things to do in the spring and summer was just sit out on the porch, drink a cold beer, and watch the rain fall. He said it relaxed him. I must have inherited that sentiment because it relaxes me too. In fact, I’ve come to appreciate the relaxing calm of a rainy morning. It just makes everything feel more peaceful.

When I had a girlfriend, it often inspired me to get a little more affectionate and playful. When you’re relaxed and content, you’re bound to let your sexy side show. That means when it’s rainy and dreary on any given morning, you can expect me to get extra romantic. On the off chance my future wife is reading this somewhere, I hope that gives her something to look forward to.

Now that the weather is getting colder and the days are getting shorter, a rainy day is bound to take on a different context. So long as that context involves cuddling up in a bed to stay warm, I’m all for it. Whether you find the weather sexy or not, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get the right currents flowing inside you. Enjoy!


“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an orgasm a day keeps divorce lawyers unpaid.”


“Being honest in a relationship often means being blunt during sex.”


“To some extent, sexting depends on some people being susceptible to pop-up ads.”


“Being in love means not caring where your lover’s fingers and tongue have been.”


“Slut shaming is just an indirect form of orgasm envy.”


“Friends don’t let friends with benefits neglect said benefits.”


“Relationship drama often boils down to disagreeing on how to share your genitals.”

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Fancy Cocktail Edition

For a good chunk of my adult life, I wasn’t much of a drinker. There’s a story behind that, but I’ll save it for another day. However, I did understand the appeal of alcohol. I also knew there was a time and a place for certain drinks. Not all were equal in terms of alcohol content, situation, or intention. A shot of Jack Daniels is not the same as a Bud Light. That much was clear.

Within that broad spectrum, though, are cocktails. Even before I started drinking, I understood they were a special kind of drink. They were almost works of art, mixing certain ingredients in just such a way that it creates a unique drinking experience. Some have strange names. From a simple Cosmopolitan to a Mojito to a Manhattan, they all offer a unique blend of sorts.

I admit I haven’t tried many of them, but of those I have, I can attest to that uniqueness. Drinking a cocktail feels like a celebration for your taste buds and your liver. It’s less about getting drunk and more about enjoying the social aspects of drinking. As a result, those social aspects can have a romantic component. I know relationships and hook-ups that began with a social gathering that involved cocktails.

When done right, and not excessively, cocktails can be a catalyst for all sorts of wonderful social interactions, including the sexy kind. I don’t claim to be a cocktail afficionado, but I do deem them worthy of some Sexy Sunday Thoughts on a morning when I’m sure some people could use both. Enjoy!


“Ideally, virgins should find someone who think being nervous during sex is hot.”


“Being sexually repressed is daring your body to get revenge on you at some point.”


“A casual friend is just someone you’re not eager to see naked.”


“Being a good listener is like being an informant to your genitals.”


“Making excuses is only as sexy as the gullibility and horniness of those listening.”


“If you still giggle when other people talk about sex, then chances are you’re not ready for it.”


“Is it possible that those who have a crush on their teachers just have a knowledge fetish?”

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sleeping In Edition

Since high school, I’ve always been an early riser. It’s a habit, but not one I think is too unhealthy. It served me well during much of my adult life. An ability to get up at five a.m. every morning might not be a superpower, but it has some real benefits. It helps me get a lot done in the morning, including much of the work I do on this site and my YouTube channel.

Habit or not, I still try to sleep in every now and then. I see it as a form of necessary therapy. We all have hard days/hard weeks. I certainly have. Sometimes, you can’t just get out of bed at your usual time and carry yourself as though you’re just fine. You need to just lie there and get a few extra winks, even after the sun comes up.

If you’re lucky enough to have a lover, it can be both romantic and therapeutic. I know couples who treat sleeping in as their favorite sexy time. It makes sense too. At the end of the day, you’ve used up all your energy. You’re tired, groggy, and just want to rest. In the morning, if you’ve slept right, you have yourself a sexy opportunity.

I say embrace that opportunity, whether it’s sexy or just therapeutic. The summer is over and the days are getting shorter. That means sleeping in is a lot more feasible. Plus, even if you don’t have a lover to share it with, it’ll help 2020 go just a little bit faster. That makes it more than worthy of some Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!


“Your maturity is directly proportional to your ability to attend someone’s 69th birthday party with a straight face.”


“Your consumption of incest porn is likely to make family reunions feel awkward.”


“Sluts are essentially orgasm hoarders.”


“Curiosity killed the cat, but also inspired the first attempt at anal sex.”


“Alcohol is one of the few drugs that can inspire an equal number of marriages, divorces, and one-night stands.”


“A lovable idiot will always get laid more often than a smug genius.”


“It’s logistically impossible to be too thorough while making love.”

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: NFL Kickoff 2020 Edition

It’s finally here! The wait has been longer and more stressful than usual for obvious reasons. For a time, I wasn’t even sure it was going to happen. At multiple points this past summer, there was a very real concern that all sports would be cancelled for the rest of the year. I’m not going to lie. Contemplating a fall without football of any kind was terrifying.

Thankfully, it never got that bad. It was still pretty awful, but the world is still trying to move forward. That includes sports. Every major sports league has been badly impacted by this pandemic. The NFL is no exception. This has not been a normal offseason, to say the least. This has also not been a normal build-up to the regular season. We have no idea just how much the pandemic has affected every team.

We also don’t know if the pandemic will even permit a full, uninterrupted season. That’s still up in the air. For now, though, the NFL is going to try and play an entire season on time, on schedule, albeit without full stadiums. As a football fan, as well as someone who simply longs for a sense of normalcy, I’m still excited. I genuinely hope this season plays out in full.

I’m still bracing myself, but for the time being, I’m going to enjoy the kickoff of a new season like I always have. I’ve got a fresh case of beer. I intend to order a massive amount of pizza and junk food. I plan to spend the entirety of my Sunday afternoon on the couch, yelling at the TV for all the right reasons.

I am ready. I am hopeful. The pandemic has scarred my soul, but my love of football remains strong. I am ready for some football and here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to celebrate the kickoff of the 2020 season. Enjoy!


“A man who is lonely and horny is bound to have a good imagination, by default.”


“Can you really say you’ve spiced up your sex life if nobody gets any rug burns?”


“A woman with a dildo collection has no right to be appalled by a man’s porno collection.”


“Sex sells, but guilt-free sex charges a premium.”


“Statistically speaking, a good listener is more likely to give you an orgasm.”


“Revenge sex is the habanero pepper of sex.”


“Love is never thinking too hard about where or on whom someone else’s tongue has been.”

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Labor Day 2020 Edition

This has been a strange, bittersweet summer, to say the least. We all know why that is. Let’s not bemoan the pandemic that has ruined so much of our world, regardless of season or holidays. Depending on where you live, this summer has been bereft of vacations, traveling, summer movies, and concerts. Add incredibly depressing news to the mix and this summer felt lost before it ever ended.

As bad as it has been, the end is just about upon us. Labor Day, often the last gasp of summer, is finally upon us. This year, it feels more like a merciful relief than a solemn resignation. Like most of 2020, every day has been a drag. Pools are closed. Theaters are closed. Theme parks are closed. Big time summer events have been cancelled or made virtual. There’s just wasn’t much to enjoy, aside from warmer weather.

We can’t undo any of that, but we can still find ways to make this Labor Day enjoyable. Even if it’s as simple as an extra day off work, take advantage of it. Cherish it. Spend extra time with family or meet up friends, but wear a mask and social distance as needed. This summer has been lacking in so many ways. It doesn’t have to lack for Labor Day.

I’m not going to lament on everything I couldn’t do this past summer. More than anything, I hope it gives me a stronger appreciation of future summers in which we’re not navigating a global pandemic. Those happier times are ahead of us. We just have to endure a bit longer. For now, let’s just have fun on Labor Day. Here are some my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get you in the spirit. Enjoy!


“Going through puberty is like being carpet-bombed by hormones and holiness.”


“A person’s maturity is directly proportional to their ability to look at someone else’s genitals without giggling.”


“A happily married man either hides his porn stash exceptionally well or doesn’t have to.”


“A good salesman has probably talked his way out of wearing a condom at least once.”


“The fact that crazy girls are better in bed is proof that nature needs a little crazy to keep things interesting.”


“Is it ironic or hypocritical to have a fetish for average sized penises?”


“A fancy wedding is an indirect way for a couple to brag about getting tax breaks for being in love.”

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Mysterious Sex Appeal Edition

What is it about mysterious men or women that we find so alluring? That’s a loaded question, by the way. I ask it with the full knowledge that there’s rarely a complete answer. Ironically, that’s a big part of the appeal. Someone who is mysterious will always have this aura of possibility surrounding them. Depending on how dirty our minds our, we fill that possibility with something sexy.

It’s why spies like James Bond, Ethen Hunt, and even Austin Powers have a certain level of sex appeal. It’s also why women like Black Widow, Catwoman, and Samus Aran from Metroid have a similar appeal, beyond looking good in skin-tight outfits. They have secrets and subtleties that set them apart. Their story is something unique and one you want to learn more about.

That process can be as compelling as it is alluring. I’ve known my fair share of women who might not have looked as good in a skin-tight outfit as Catwoman, but they were genuine mysteries. You didn’t understand what made them tick, but you wanted to find out. Had my social skills not been so awful, I might have been part of their story.

Those willing to be part of such stories can find something that’s as romantic as it is sexy. We all have our secrets. We all choose who we reveal them to. It’s an intimate process that can foster other kinds of intimacy. We may not all be spies, but we are our own stories. I encourage everyone to think long and hard about their own stories as I share this round of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!


“Being a virgin on your wedding night is like being a rookie in the Super Bowl.”


“You can tell a lot about a person by the conditions in which they masturbate.”


“Masturbation requires a certain amount of self esteem to be effective.”


“Sharing a toothbrush is more intimate than sharing a bed.”


“Drama is the emotional journey between falling in love and getting laid.”


“A good kisser has to appreciate the taste of someone else’s spit to some extent.”


“Meaningless sex may always be taboo, but loveless marriages will always cause more misery.”

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Mixed Race Sex Appeal Edition

There are those who say love has no boundaries. I agree to some extent. I’m more inclined to say that love has boundaries beyond what every sitcom made after 1955 has prescribed. Most people alive today may think we’re pushing the envelope in terms of who, what, where, when, and how we love. I don’t think they appreciate just how far we’ve come.

There was indeed a time, and it wasn’t that long ago, when mixed-race romance was extremely taboo. In fact, there are a lot of people alive today who remember that time. It’s easy to forget that interracial marriage wasn’t made fully legal until 1967 in the United States and in many parts of the world, it’s still taboo.

That’s a travesty. At the same time, it adds a forbidden fruit aspect to the mix. No matter how taboo or unappealing it may be to some, it still happens. It happens a lot. I say that as someone who’s first girlfriend was an Asian woman and I am not Asian. Even though it didn’t work out for us, other relationships find a way. Some go onto produce beautiful mixed-race children.

Taboos aside, I think it’s a beautiful thing. It’s a perfect manifestation of love and sex appeal transcending differences. The fact that mixed-race couples find a way to make it work in a society that loves clinging to bigotry demonstrates just how powerful it can be. When different races mix, beautifully sexy things can happen. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to acknowledge that beauty. Enjoy!


“The appeal of kinky sex is not that different from the appeal of skydiving.”


“Taboo keeps some men from wearing a thong, but it’s basic male anatomy that dissuades most.”


“Sometimes, a big part of being in love is a willingness to whore yourself to someone for free.”


“It’s difficult for someone to love giving oral sex and have a weak stomach.”


“The measure of a good lover isn’t their ability to find their lover’s G-spot, but their willingness to keep trying.”


“Going to a prostitute for love is like going to a dentist for a prostate exam”


“Very few love stories start or end with an orgy.”

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Quick Fling Edition

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Every love story is unique. It’s even more so for the sexier kind of love stories. As an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I’ve come to appreciate the broad spectrum of those stories. Some are more dramatic than others, but not every love story, sexy or otherwise, needs to involve fairy tale endings that involve life-long romance.

Every once in a while, a quick fling that lasts only a few days, if that, can be just as meaningful. It’s not the same kind of romance you get with stories involving star-crossed lovers, but it can be just as compelling. I’ve seen real people experience brief, but passionate flings that barely last a few days. Even though it doesn’t work out long-term, it still has a profound impact.

Personally, I haven’t had too many of those flings in my life. That’s more a side-effect of the poor social skills I wielded for the first half of my life than anything else. However, I’ve seen enough of them play out with others, including a few close friends and relatives, to appreciate their worth. In terms of romance, it may not be the most epic, but it can still be fun.

I know it’s hard to have a fling of any kind, given the current state of the world. One day, hopefully soon, it will be possible again. Given how isolated we’ve all been for the past several months, I think we all could use one. To that end, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get you in a romantic, fling-loving mood. Enjoy!


“Isn’t it counterproductive for a romantic evening to wear clothes that are hard to get out of?”


“A friendly divorce is as logical as a horny asexual.”


“Virtual sex is just a much more vivid wet dream.”


“How much porn someone has on their hard drive is not as revealing as what percentage of that drive is used to store it.”


“Hate sex is basically aggressive orgasm seeking.”


“There are remarkably few socially acceptable ways to compliment someone’s genitals.”


“Porn has completely misconstrued how sexy taking a shower actually is most of the time.”

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