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May 16, 2016 · 5:56 pm

Jack Fisher’s Weekly Quick Pick Comic: Age Of X-Man: The Amazing Nightcrawler #1

Every Wednesday brings comic book fans a set of new, colorful adventures in a gloriously literal way. Whether you’re a fan of superheroes, fairy tales, zombie apocalypses, or beautiful warrior women in chain mail bikinis, there’s something for everyone. Within that diverse collection of awesome, some books stand out more than others.

This week, it was genuinely difficult to single one comic out for my weekly quick pick. Every comic tries to stand out these days in some form or another. However, in that noble effort, the one comic I feel succeeded most was “Age of X-Man: Amazing Nightcrawler #1.”

It’s somewhat tricky picking a book that’s just a mini-series that’s meant to tie into a larger ongoing event, namely “Age of X-Man.” Anyone who follows comics, especially superhero comics that seem to have major event books every other month, knows that tie-in comics are often hit-or-miss. Most are misses, but “Age of X-Man: Amazing Nightcrawler #1” is definitely one of those rare hits.

You don’t have to know everything about what’s going on with “Age of X-Man” and why the mutants of the Marvel universe are living in a world where giant robots aren’t trying to kill them. All you need to know is that the X-men now live in an alternate universe where mutants are celebrated, idolized, and respected. Thanks to the reality-warping power of Nate Grey, Charles Xavier’s dream isn’t necessary anymore.

Within that Utopian world, don’t just live in peace. They’ll full-fledged celebrities. Among the celebrities of that world, Kurt “Nightcrawler” Wagner is at the top. He’s basically this world’s Leonardo DiCaprio, Chris Pratt, and Hugh Jackman, all rolled into one. Considering how often his story revolves around people being afraid of his appearance, it’s a huge shift.

This isn’t a Nightcrawler who constantly runs from angry protesters who think he’s a demon in need of an exorcist. He’s an A-list celebrity, complete with managers, directors, fans, and a slight detachment from reality. I say slight because the story that transpires in “Age of X-Man: Amazing Nightcrawler #1” feels like something only a celebrity can experience.

Writer, Seanan McGuire, is both coy and cunning in how she explores Nightcrawler’s life in this world. She even borrows from some of the dystopian imagery of the famous Age of Apocalypse story-line that was so iconic for the 90s era X-men. In this world, those dystopian fears aren’t an ever-present concern for the X-men. They’re just fodder for a movie.

In that world, Nightcrawler isn’t overly concerned about mutants being hunted and oppressed. For him, it’s a huge change of pace because in many of the X-men’s struggles, he finds himself on the front line of those conflicts. Look no further than stories like God Loves, Man Kills to see why he’s often the face of those conflicts.

In a sense, Nightcrawler is one of those mutants who has nothing to lose by fighting alongside the X-men. Even if mutants were outlawed and hunted, some of the more normal-looking mutants could escape easily and hide their status. He can’t do that because of his appearance. While that hasn’t stopped plenty of women from finding him sexy, it does define a big part of his character.

In “Age of X-Man: Amazing Nightcrawler #1,” the script is completely flipped. Now, Nightcrawler has everything to lose. He’s a beloved celebrity. Throughout the story, we see that he handles celebrity better than most. He’s not quite on the same level as Tom Hanks, but he’s close.

By every measure, Nightcrawler has everything going for him in this world. However, McGuire drops plenty of subtle hints that there’s something missing from his charmed life. Both his actions and his inner monologues send the distinct message that there’s something missing from his life and it can’t be filled with a prescription.

It’s the kind of struggle that many celebrities deal with. They can have everything, but still feel empty inside. It’s part of what leads them to engage in self-destructive behavior. While Nightcrwaler is no Bojack Horseman, what he ends up doing could cost him dearly. Those who read “Age of X-Man” understand those stakes.

This is one of those rare books that portray an iconic character in a new way. Nightcrawler has always been one of the most likable, endearing characters in the X-men, if not all of Marvel comics. In a world where characters kill their own children, marry clones of their dead girlfriend, and inadvertently kill 5 billion aliens, Nightcrawler is a breath of fresh air.

For once, he’s in a position where he can make mistakes and lose more than just his place on a superhero team. He’s one of those characters who, through a mix of charisma and faith, always seems to do the right thing on instinct. Now, here he is, in a position to make big mistakes that cost him dearly.

It’s an intriguing story that puts a beloved character in an unfamiliar situation. If you’re a Nightcrawler fan, a casual X-men fan, or just think blue fur is sexy, “Age of X-Man: Amazing Nightcrawler #1” checks all the right boxes. Even if you’re just curious about what happens to superheroes in a non-dystopian world, this comic has a lot going for it.

While it’s unlikely that this utopian world will last indefinitely, it’s still interesting to see how certain characters handle themselves in such a world. So much of what defines them is a result of them always having to struggle. By living in a world where all is good, we find out who they really are. Nightcrawler is still lovable, but in the world of Age of X-Man, he’s got way more to lose than most.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Lying In Bed Together

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There’s this popular, but not entirely flawed notion that sexy moments have to involve heavy exertion. If you’re not putting in effort, working up a sweat, or pushing yourself alongside your lover, then the sexiness of the moment is limited. Given the content of the novels and sexy short stories I’ve written, I can totally appreciate that sentiment.

However, not every sexy moment has to be a test of endurance. It is possible to create an intensely intimate moment just by lying in bed with someone. It doesn’t have to involve a kinky sex act. It doesn’t even have to involve heavy petting or an extensive journey into one another’s anatomy. Sometimes, just lying next to someone is all the intimacy you need.

I can personally attest to this. When I was with my ex-girlfriend, some of the most passionate moments we shared involved just lying together in bed, on a couch, or even on the floor. Whether we were resting or watching a movie together, the feeling of just feeling the warmth of someone else’s body was special to us.

There’s a time and a place for elaborate, intense, and energetic forms of intimacy. The same applies to the simple act of lying in bed with your lover. I feel like that experience deserves more appreciation than it gets. This Daily Sexy Musing is my way of showing just how great that experience can be. Enjoy!

The air is still.

The room is silent.

The world around us is an afterthought.

Right now, we’re just two lovers in bed, resting and relaxing in each other’s warmth.

On this same bed, we’ve shared many moments of heated passion. There have been times when the room shakes, our bodies tremble, and the echo with our voices reverberate from the walls. There are many acts we’ve shared, evoking grunts and sweats that test our resolve. Those are all cherished memories, but so are moments like this.

There’s no need for intense effort.

There’s no need for elaborate gestures.

Just lying next to you, your body within close reach, is sufficient.

The lives we live and share are so tiring. Every day of every week brings new challenges. Somewhere along the line, we must find time to celebrate our love. Just being nearby isn’t enough. Even being close only goes so far. There’s a need for intimacy, connection, and the warm sensations that come with loving touch.

There are many ways to meet those needs. Good lovers find creative ways, but great lovers know the tricks of the trade. They know the simple gestures that convey that loving touch. They can create an act of intimacy with little spectacle, yet immense passion. It requires a great deal of work, but incurs great rewards in the long run.

From romantic pursuit to loving bliss.

From heated moments to peaceful nights.

From epic journeys to ultimate goals.

Lying in bed next to you, exchanging a light touch and a simple gesture, I know how far our love has come. I see in you the lover I worked so hard to pursue and the lover who so gladly shares their life with mine.

We can make love when we want to.

We can seek love when we need to.

For now, we’re content to just lie together and enjoy the love we have.

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“Happy Death Day 2U” Review: A Quality Sequel With Noticeable Flaws

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Slasher movies are one of those frustrating genres that have a lot of overdone tropes, but a handful of gems that really stand out. These movies tend to have a standard formula from which few deviates. There’s a mysterious killer on the loose. A group of attractive young people try to escape. All the promiscuous ones die while the sweet, innocent virgin who never shows her tits survives.

If you’ve seen any slasher movie after the first “Halloween” in 1978, then you’ve seen this play out any number of ways. However, it’s because that formula is so overdone that the first “Happy Death Day” felt so refreshing. When I reviewed this movie, I lauded how it injected fresh nuance into the typical horror/slasher formula. It didn’t completely abandon that formula, but it didn’t play by the rules either.

That approach paid off. The move went onto make over $125 million worldwide, despite having a budget just below $5 million. That’s a pretty good payoff for horror/slasher movie in an era where superhero movies dominate and movies that punish beautiful women for being sexy is losing favor. Not surprisingly, this success warranted a sequel in “Happy Death Day 2U.”

Considering how the first movie wrapped things up so neatly, a sequel comes with greater risk. How do you even build on a story where a young woman is stuck in a time loop where she dies at the hands of a killer every time? After the time loop ends, shouldn’t the story also end? “Happy Death Day 2U” tries to make the case that there’s still room for the story to grow.

By and large, the movie succeeds in telling that story. However, I don’t believe the movie works quite as well as the first in terms of impact and nuance. I admit I was skeptical, and even a little disappointed, when I heard that a sequel was in the works. For a movie that overtly referenced “Groundhog Day,” which never got a sequel, it seemed like it could only be counterproductive.

To some extent, those concerns were vindicated at the start of the movie. One of the things that made “Groundhog Day” such an effective concept was that we never learned what caused the time loop that trapped Phil Connors. While the cause was revealed in the original scrip to the movie, the act of not explaining the cause helped make it an effective plot device.

Happy Death Day 2U” doesn’t bother with such ambiguity. Within the first half-hour of the movie, we find out what caused Tree Gelbman to get stuck in the time loop that plagued her in the first movie. I won’t spoil too many details. I’ll just say that there’s nothing overly supernatural or subtly spiritual about it.

That’s not to say it still doesn’t work. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it adds an extra level of innovation to the horror/slasher formula that the first “Happy Death Day” did so much to alter. The stakes are different this time around, but the concept is the same. Tree is stuck in a time loop again, but the story has less to do with how she escapes and more to do with the price she pays to do so.

There isn’t quite as much mystery, but there are new complications that add a different kind of intrigue. The nature of the loop and the identity of the killer is different, this time. Motivations and obstacles are different too, but similar enough to build upon the foundation that the first movie established.

While I didn’t care for how “Happy Death Day 2U” explained the time loop, I still found myself genuinely intrigued by Tree’s journey, as well as that of her supporting cast. In the first movie, much like Phil Connors in “Groundhog Day,” Tree starts off as a selfish, arrogant, mean-spirited person who is difficult to root for. Over the course of the movie, though, she becomes more likable.

Tree’s journey in “Happy Death Day 2U” takes it even further by testing her new persona. Instead of becoming a better person by navigating the time loop, Tree is faced with a series of difficult, gut-wrenching choices. Beyond surviving the killer, escaping the time loop means paying a heavy price. Within the moments of bloody violence and messy deaths, she agonizes over that price.

That aspect of the story is what makes “Happy Death Day 2U” worth seeing. Even if it loses something by explaining the source of the time loop, it gains something by building on Tree’s story. We learn more and more about why she was such a self-loathing bitch in the first place, which makes her growth from that persona even more satisfying.

By the end of “Happy Death Day 2U,” it feels like Tree has take yet another step. She shows just how much she has grown, as a result of her experience in the time loop. It also gives even more weight to the blossoming relationship she has with Carter Davis. Her feelings for him and his feelings for her feel a lot more genuine by the time the credits roll.

As meaningful as this kind of character growth is, though, “Happy Death Day 2U” doesn’t hide from the fact that it’s still a slasher movie. Like its predecessor, it’s overtly coy with how it portrays the violence and death scenes. It’s a little gratuitous, at times. It also employs some tongue-in-cheek humor that helps balance things out.

Happy Death Day 2U” never tries to be too bloody, but never tries to be too funny, either. It takes what the first movie did and builds on the foundation. While it doesn’t feel as novel or innovative as the first, it still captures the overall spirit and style.

The movie still has flaws beyond explaining the cause of the time loop and limiting the overall mystery. Like the first one, this movie feels like it holds back at times. It probably could’ve done a lot more with an R-rating instead of a standard PG-13 rating, but there’s never a sense that the movie attempts to walk a fine line between the two.

In addition, while Tree’s character undergoes plenty of growth, Carter still doesn’t get nearly as much. We still don’t know much about who he is or what makes him tick. He still shows plenty of backbone throughout the movie, stepping up in a way that make him easy to root for, both as a character and as Tree’s love interest. It just feels like he doesn’t get his chance to shine.

There’s also the issue of needing to see the first “Happy Death Day” to understand what’s going on here. This is one of those movies where the prequel really isn’t optional if you want to appreciate everything that happens. In fact, this movie build so much upon the first that it basically acts as an extension more than a sequel.

Those flaws aside, “Happy Death Day 2U” is still a solid movie that took some considerable risks. Those risks paid off in that it further established this franchise a badly-needed shot in the arm for a genre that has become less relevant in recent years. If I had to score this movie, I would give it a solid 4 out of 5.

There is still a place for horror/slasher movies and there probably always will be. “Happy Death Day 2U” demonstrates that there’s still plenty of room for blood, violence, sex appeal, and creepy masked killers in the current cinematic landscape. John Carpenter and Wes Craven may have helped perfect that formula, but “Happy Death Day 2U” adds some new and overdue ingredients.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Hot Aliens Edition

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If aliens ever do land on Earth, our reaction will be highly contingent on how sexually attractive we find them. It’s an inescapable fact of our dirty collective imaginations. We judge someone by how sexually attractive we find them. If a race of aliens looked like Brad Pitt and Jennifer Lawrence, we would approach them differently compared to the little green men of old.

I don’t deny there are some alien women in fiction that I find very attractive. Gamora from “Guardians of the Galaxy,” Liara from “Mass Effect,” and Starfire from DC Comics are just some of the alien women I find sexy. While I understand that’s very unlikely that actual aliens would look anything like women, men, or humans in general, it’s still a popular trope for a reason.

Aliens can be scary, as many movies and TV shows have shown us. They can also have a sexy side. After all, all life needs to survive and reproduce in order to evolve, including aliens. They would have to have some level of sex appeal in order to get that far, even if it takes a form most humans wouldn’t understand.

Regardless of how real aliens might look, there will always be a place in the world of fantasy and sci-fi for sexy aliens. As someone who loves comics, sci-fi, and all things sexy, those kinds of aliens have a special place in my heart. For that reason, and plenty others, I dedicate this edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the sexy aliens out there, wherever they may be.


“The quality of the sex we have is directly proportional to the necessary effort to get the stains out of our bed sheets.”


“You know you have sex appeal when you can make dirty sweatpants look sexy.”


“Weddings are the only occasions where people encourage close family members to have sex.”


“True love is never hesitating to touch your lover’s dirty underwear.”


“When you think about it, every romantic gesture is directly linked to facilitating an orgasm.”


“As a general rule, if it can be used as a lubricant, it probably has been used in a sex act.”


“Strippers and prostitutes are the only ones who know the actual market value of their bodies.”


We may never know whether we’re truly alone in the universe. Even if we do meet real aliens one day, it’s unlikely they’ll take a form we find inherently sexy. It’s still a fun idea to imagine, a race of aliens that are both extremely advanced and extremely sexy. Fantasy or not, it’s the kind of idea that makes gazing up at the stars that much more awe-inspiring.

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“The Promotion” A Sexy Short Story

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The following is a sexy short story I wrote about getting ahead in your career and celebrating it in the sexiest way possible. Enjoy!

“A new day, a new office, and a big promotion,” said Jonathan Zander with a beaming smile. “I’ve earned this!”

It was the culmination of a decade of toil. After working so hard for the most prominent investment firm in the state, he had achieved something that had once seemed impossible. He started as an intern, getting people coffee, printing out presentations, and organizing meetings for low pay and no overtime. Now, he was a full-fledged executive director, complete with a yearly bonus, his own parking spot, and a private office.

It might not have been the biggest office in the building, but it was still a major step up from the cramped cubical he’d worked in as an intern. It had once belonged to his supervisor, who had mentored him for the past seven years. He had since retired and was instrumental in helping Jonathan get the promotion. The office had been empty for over a month, but he intended to make it distinctly his.

“I’ll put my diploma over there,” Jonathan said to himself, pointing out blank spaces on the wall, “and that picture of me and my dad at the Super Bowl will go there. I can maybe get some artwork from my sister if she has any, but I can just as easily get some from that convention next week. And this time, I’ll actually be able to afford it!”

He kept on smiling, even as he set his box of personal effects on the large mahogany desk. He was still getting used to the idea of not being underpaid. He’d spent the last decade paying down his student loan debts and living frugally in rented apartments with unreliable roommates. That was about to change. Jonathan already planned to move into his own place by the end of the month. That was just the beginning.

“With a fat bonus comes a new suite, better furniture, and maybe even a new car at some point,” Jonathan said to himself, his mind still racing from all the exciting possibilities. “It will be nice to actually drive to work in something that isn’t 12 years old and bought at a discount from my grandfather.”

He’d worked so hard to find success doing what he loved. He intended to enjoy the hell out of it.

As an executive, there was no dead end to his job. Jonathan was no longer just some replaceable office grunt. He had influence, authority, and flexibility. He could help direct the company forward and reap the inevitable rewards. That was what he had wanted after seeing his father toil with the post office for decades. He sought more and he was willing to work for it.

There would be plenty of time for that later on, though. At the moment, it was Friday evening and most of the staff had already left for the day. Jonathan was tempted to join them, but opted to get a head start on setting up his new work space. He was too excited to just go home and wait for the next phase of his career to begin. Looking out his window, which had an awesome view of the park space just outside the building, he marveled at how far he had come.

“All that hard work…the late nights, the impossible deadlines, and the coffee enemas…I did way more than I thought I could do,” Jonathan mused. “My dad told me that hard work can’t just be for the sake of working. It has to be for something greater. Guess it’s up to me to figure out how great it’ll be.”

That was still the most daunting prospect of his new job. Jonathan had spent so much time working for others. The idea that others would work for him in the name of his vision for the company still hadn’t sunk in. He had to adjust quickly because there was plenty more he hoped to achieve.

“Excuse me, Mr. Zander?” said an unexpected female voice. “Do you have a moment?”

Jonathan turned around to see a young woman standing in the doorway to his new office. She looked like one of those cute secretaries the old CEO loved to hire, complete with a low-cut skirt, polished heels, and a blouse that seemed a size too small. Never one to turn away from a pretty girl, he welcomed her in.

“Sure,” he said to her. “Come on in. Are you one of Sheila Grant’s new assistance in HR?”

“No. I’m actually a…well, I guess you could call me an office temp,” she said coyly.

“Oh? What kind of temp?”

“The kind your old boss hired for the sole purpose of celebrating your promotion,” she told him.

Jonathan was taken aback, somewhat. He recognized the undertone in that woman’s voice. He had been to his share of bachelor parties to know what it implied. Upon seeing the woman close the door to his office behind her and lock it, he began filling in the blanks.

It seemed outrageous. He’d heard rumors about certain people hiring strippers and prostitutes for executives, but Jonathan thought they were just perverse water cooler talk. Now that he was an executive, though, those rumors took on a very different meaning.

“My name is Daisy,” the woman continued. “I guess you could call me a ‘personal motivator.’ I specialize in helping aspiring executives stay driven, so to speak.”

“That sounds…useful,” Jonathan said, not acknowledging the overt innuendo in her tone. “How exactly do you go about that?”

The young woman casually walked over to him, revealing in the process that the top part of her blouse was already unbuttoned, exposing her ample cleavage. It was, by no means, appropriate office attire. However, Jonathan felt little inclination to report her to HR. If anything, he had a feeling that his old supervisor had circumvented HR.

The way she walked did not imply that she had come directly from business school. The way she swayed her hips and glared at him with seductive eyes made it seem like she’d come right from a strip club. Knowing as that there was a strip club less than four blocks from the office, the possibilities were plenty feasible.

When she reached him, she stood so close that her ample breasts actually touched his chest. He could already smell the makeup, eye-liner, and high-end lipstick. Still standing by the window, Jonathan didn’t move in inch in any direction.

“I could spend the next half-hour explaining my unique talents,” Daisy told him, skillfully snaking her arms around his neck, “or I could just show you.”

“That might be optimal,” Jonathan said, already sounding like an executive. “In my experience, people learn by doing and not listening.”

“I couldn’t agree more. That’s why I think you’ll love my technique!”

The attractive young woman ditched the innuendo from that point and lured him into a kiss. As soon as her lips touched his, he was intoxicated by the intensely sensual taste. It was like tasting literal success, so sweet and rewarding. Whether or not Daisy was the literal manifestation of his success was a matter of perspective…one that he did not care to rationalize at the moment.

Kissing her did more than just affirm his success. It got all the blood in his body flowing in a certain direction. That reminded him that he was a healthy heterosexual man who hadn’t had time for a relationship. His work made finding love – or meaningless sex, for that matter – a challenge subject to serious time constraints. Having not known the intimate touch of a woman for a while, it was nothing short of refreshing.

“Mmm…I like it already!” Jonathan said after their lips parted.

“Oh I’m just getting started, Mr. Zander,” Daisy said, sounding sexy, yet serious. “Have a seat. The real presentation is about to begin!”

She kissed him again, snaking her arms around his neck in the process. He boldly returned the gesture, slipping his hands around her waist and feeling up her womanly curves over that not-so-modest dress of hers. As he felt her up, she guided him away from the window and towards his new desk. Jonathan offered no resistance, going along with Daisy’s unusual technique.

He soon found himself sitting on the edge of his desk, his legs dangling over as the young woman stood in front of him. His hands still on her waist, he could already feel his pants tightening. Daisy even seemed to realize that and grazed her thigh up against the growing bulge.

“Hold still,” she said upon breaking the kiss again. “This office getup is feeling very itchy.”

Then, her seductive gaze never once diverting from him, Daisy began taking off her clothes. She didn’t do it casually, either. She was slow and sensual, strategically unbuttoning her blouse so that he could watch her breasts steadily tumble out. She was just as subtle when she unzipped the back of her skirt, turned around, and casually slid it off down her thighs, revealing a red G-string thong that perfectly augmented her shapely butt.

It confirmed what Jonathan had suspected. She was a stripper, most likely one that his old boss had hired before for other executives. Given how comfortable she was stripping in a stranger’s office, Jonathan surmised she had done it before and gotten it down to a system.

“Well, that’s one way to deal with uncomfortable office clothes,” he joked.

“Speak for yourself, Mr. Casual-Friday,” Daisy teased while feeling up the in-seam of his custom-made suit.

“It’s not that bad,” he said, “although it does get a little confining when it’s this hot.”

“Well, in that case, why don’t I help with that?”

Jonathan didn’t say a word. He just cast her a goofy grin, which told her everything he needed to tell her. Looking quite comfortable in her bra and thong underwear, Daisy went to work undoing his belt, unzipping his pants, and pulling them down to his ankles, boxers and all.

His semi-erect manhood freed, Jonathan already felt a light sweat forming on his forehead. As Daisy narrowed her gaze on his lower anatomy, he quickly undid his tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt.

“Oh my,” she said playfully. “You keep that confined in those tight pants all day? You have earned this promotion!”

“I like to think that’s one of the reasons I’ve earned it,” he quipped.

“Well, it looks like it needs some professional attention. Lean back a bit and I’ll get the job done.”

“I look forward to seeing you demonstrate your skills.”

They both laughed at their shared tone. It resembled that of an executive and an assistant in a serious business meeting. It would’ve been cheesy if Jonathan didn’t enjoy it so much. He even found it extra arousing, although that might have just been a byproduct of not having sex for so long.

That wait was almost over, though. As he fumbled to get his shirt off, Daisy dropped to her knees and began giving him oral sex. She made it clear from the beginning, though, that she was a true pro.

“Oohhh, Ms. Daisy!” Jonathan moaned. “Your skills…they’re amazing!”

The beautiful woman glanced up at him, showing an eagerness and motivation that any executive could respect. She wanted his approval, just as he had wanted approval from his former boss and she really worked for it.

She was so thorough, grasping the base of his shaft with one hand while stroking the shaft with the other. She carefully, but fervently worked her lips along the length of his dick, using her tongue to stimulate all those sensitive areas. It felt so good, sending shudders of bliss coursing through his body.

Jonathan had barely managed to get his shirt off, now leaning back on his desk as he soaked in the feeling. He watched her work with such dedication. At one point, she released her grip on the base of his shaft and used it to undo her bra.

“Looks like I’ll need more advanced techniques,” Daisy said intently.

He just grinned back at her in approval, watching as those voluptuous breasts of hers hung free. He couldn’t tell whether they were real. He didn’t really care, though. Daisy showed that she knew how to use them, positioning his dick right between her fleshy mounds and using them to initiate a full-fledged tit-fuck.

“Ohhh yeah!” Jonathan moaned. “That feels…so advanced.”

“Like I said…I’m a professional,” Daisy said seductively.

Up and down, his manhood slid smoothly between her breasts. He still couldn’t determine whether they were natural or fake. He honestly couldn’t care less.

Blissful moans soon morphed into labored grunts. His dick went from just erect to rock hard. Daisy certainly took notice. She even seemed to take pride in it, being able to get a man that aroused with her tits and mouth. It was the mark of a true professional, which seemed quite fitting, given the circumstances.

“Wow! Talk about hard work paying off,” Daisy said.

“Hard…that’s for sure,” said Jonathan, already breathless.

“You worked just as hard to get here, Mr. Zander. Hard work should be rewarded. That’s what I intended to give you.”

“You mean you haven’t already?”

“Are you kidding? That was just the appetizer. Now, it’s time for the main course!”

With a lurid tone in her voice and a seductive glint in her eye, Daisy rose back to her feet and kicked off her heels. She then turned around, showing him that perfect ass of hers again, and slid off her thong.

Jonathan’s mouth watered at the sight of her butt and pussy. He even noticed that she was aroused, a sign that she was among the lucky few in the world who actually enjoyed her job. That didn’t just give them something in common. It put them on the same page.

“Tell me, Mr. Zander,” said Daisy, turning around and showing him all her naked glory. “How do you want to celebrate your promotion?”

“If I had to choose,” Jonathan said, already enchanted by the sight, “I’d pick you up in my arms, set you down on my fancy new desk, and fuck you until I came all over your tits.”

“Is that so?” she said curly. “Well, you’re in luck. That just happens to be my kind of celebrating!”

Now, it was Jonathan’s turn to grin playfully. Throwing aside his dress shirt and kicking off his overpriced shoes, the newly-minted executive got off the desk and seized the moment in the name of celebrating his success.

He slipped his arms around Daisy, savoring the feeling of her naked skin pressing up against his, and kissed her intently. She eagerly kissed back, jumping up into his arms and throwing her legs around his waist. He instinctively caught her, which also gave him a perfect grip on her butt. It left him feeling empowered, the flesh of a naked woman pressing meshing with his. Jonathan longed to exercise that power, celebrating the promotion that he worked so hard to earn.

As their lips and tongues twirled in their lustful embrace, he set her down on the polished desk in the exact position he’d been in moments ago. Daisy kept her legs wrapped around his waist, clinging to his shoulders as he positioned himself in front of her, aligning his dick with her wet entrance.

“You ready?” he asked her, his every word radiating with lust.

“Let the celebrating begin!” Daisy proclaimed.

Heeding her words, Jonathan grabbed hold of her waist and thrust his hips forward, driving his throbbing cock into her. In an instant, he felt the hot warmth of womanly flesh surrounding his manhood. The process was so smooth, his arousal complementing hers. They each let out a blissful moan. From there, they the real celebration began.

His feet planted firmly on the freshly-cleaned rug, Jonathan began humping the beautiful woman in his grasp. Together, their naked bodies rocked in a vigorous rhythm. Like a well-oiled piston, his cock pumped within her pussy. The sound of his pelvis smacking against hers filled the room, along with the light squeaking noise of the fancy desk. Something about that motivated him to intensify the movements, as though it were a manifestation of his hard work.

“Yes! Ohhh yes!” Daisy cried out. “That’s it! Fuck me! Fuck me like a big, strong executive! Ooh I’m coming already!”

She could’ve been faking it. She probably was, but she sure sounded convincing. Jonathan could feel her inner folds throbbing around his dick. The gasps turned to squeals. Rather than just cling to his shoulders, she dug her nails right into his skin. It strong, but in the best possible way.

Fake or not, Jonathan felt even more motivated. Shifting his hands from her waist to her thighs, he pushed he legs farther apart so he could thrust in deeper. He also kissed down her neck, tasting the light sweat that had already formed on her skin. More moans followed. It was like the sweetest music coupled with his favorite treat, the ultimate desert to go along with a momentous event.

“Daisy,” Jonathan grunted, “you like being fucked…by an executive?”

“Yes! I love it! I fucking love it!” she affirmed with surprising enthusiasm.

“Then that’s…how I’ll fuck you!”

In another show of his newfound authority, Jonathan withdrew his cock from her briefly so that he could reposition the naked woman in his grasp. With strength he didn’t remember having before he got promoted, he pulled her off the desk, turned her around, and bent her over so that her breasts were mashed up against the polished wood. Now facing that heart-shaped ass of hers, he thrust his cock back into her and resumed his vigorous humping.

“Oh yeah! Ohhh fuck yeah!” Jonathan seethed. “This…is how…an executive fucks!”

Daisy responded with more blissful moans. He already sounded like a new man, one far removed from the quiet intern he’d been ten years ago. He’d worked hard to become that man and he was already loving it.

Daisy must have loved it too. In fact, she seemed to have a fetish for powerful men in business. She kept loudly proclaiming that she was having an orgasm. The more she said it, the less certain he was that she was faking it. That might have been due to his position in a major company and not his sexual prowess, but Jonathan didn’t care. If he could celebrate his promotion and make a beautiful woman climax, then that was just an awesome bonus.

He worked just as hard to make their sex both memorable and momentous. As the desk shook and Daisy’s body rocked, Jonathan felt himself approaching his peak. It might have been the most intense peak he’d felt since his ex-girlfriend dressed up as a sexy librarian in college. It was like a volcano ready to erupt and, like his promotion, it required a little extra effort to achieve it.

“Daisy! I…I’m close!” he told her. “I’m ready…to come!”

“I’m ready too, Mr. Zander,” Daisy replied.

With their lusts perfectly in synch, Jonathan pulled out of her again and she quickly turned around so that she could drop her to knees again. Just as before, she put those voluptuous breasts of hers to good use, pressing his throbbing cock between them. From that position, he slid his manhood between those fleshy mounds of his until he crossed that final threshold.

“Oohhh Daisy!”

After those fateful words, the volcano of pent up desire erupted. Holding onto her head, Jonathan closed his eyes and threw his head back as the feeling washed over him like a tsunami of pure ecstasy. It was incredible, his throbbing releasing a thick load of cum onto the beautiful woman’s amble cleavage. From head to toe, the sensations rippled through his body in a surge of pleasure, power, and accomplishment.

The volume of manly fluid surprised Daisy as much as it did him. She even gasped somewhat at how much ended up on her face. It had definitely been a while for him. A lot of feelings had been pent up in his effort to advance his career. As tough as it had been, the end result was worth it…even if it was somewhat messy.

“Wow!” Daisy said. “So much cum…you really did work hard for this.”

“Yeah…hard,” he said, still an orgasmic daze.

They both laughed somewhat as Daisy used her tits to extract every last drop from his manhood. She even made sure to lick up the bits that lingered. Once the ecstasy passed, Jonathan let out the most content sigh he had experienced in over a decade.

He ended up leaning back on his desk, sitting down on the floor next to the naked woman who still had his cum dripping from her tits. She didn’t seem to mind, though. She even pulled him into a light embrace, as if to offer once last round of congratulations for what he achieved.

“A job well done, Mr. Zander,” she told him.

“Speak for yourself, Ms. Daisy,” Jonathan laughed.

“You’re going to make a great executive here. I look forward to celebrating your future achievements with you.”

“So do I,” he told her, “and don’t worry. I’ll have plenty of achievements worth celebrating in the future. I promise!”

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Chris Pratt, Religious Celebrities, And Why We Should Be Concerned

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In general, celebrities operate on an entirely different level of reality than non-celebrities. Their concept of normal is so skewed, so distorted, and so out of touch that it’s hard to relate to them. Just read up on the weird things Gwyneth Paltrow has said in recent years for proof of that.

Even if they are out of touch, it is possible for celebrities to be genuinely decent people and succeed in an industry known for horrendous corruption. Some celebrities do work that legitimately makes the world a better place. By most measures, Chris Pratt of “Parks and Recreation” and “Guardians of the Galaxy” fame is one of them.

I consider myself a fan of his. Mr. Pratt has done many things that have won him the respect and admiration of many. Just read the stories about him visited children’s hospitals and try not to like him. While he has undergone some unfortunate upheavals in recent years after his divorce from actress Anna Farris, he has generally managed himself well in the world of celebrity culture.

However, recent events surrounding Mr. Pratt may be cause for concern. While I doubt he’s heading towards the kind of celebrity meltdowns that have doomed others, I think there is reason to worry about the effects that continued fame, celebrity, and wealth will have on him. That’s because those effects may be compounded by another huge complication, namely that of organized religion.

While Mr. Pratt has not hidden the fact that he’s religious, it recently became an issue when Ellen Page, a noted LBGT activist, called him out for attending a church that has a history of anti-gay rhetoric. Now, as someone who has levied plenty of criticism about religion before, I generally support pointing out the injustices and absurdities of religion. In this case, I’m surprised by the backlash.

In general, Ms. Page was subject to significant attacks for her criticism. She was made out to be the bully here and she’s someone who was subject to deplorable treatment by the director who botched X3. In general, people are siding with Mr. Pratt, saying that Ms. Page was out of line for criticizing him for the church he attended.

Personally, I don’t think Ms. Page went about her criticism the right way. Given the horrendous attacks religious organizations have orchestrated against the LGBT community, I don’t blame her for being vocal. This incident, however, and the way Mr. Pratt responded to it leaves me concerned about the cumulative impact that celebrity and religion will have on him.

To understand the extent of those concerns, you need look no further than another famous Hollywood actor who was also respected, popular, and religious. That actor is Mel Gibson. Today, he’s more a joke and an internet meme. However, it wasn’t that long ago when he was Hollywood’s golden boy.

Like Mr. Pratt now, Mel Gibson a successful action star who could also do comedy and drama. For a time, he was the actor many women in and outside of Hollywood swooned over. I know because at one point, my mother admitted to having a major crush on him and having seen some of his old movies, I honestly can’t blame her.

While Mr. Gibson didn’t make a big deal of his religion for the most part, it did rear its influence when he went through his infamous meltdown in 2006. Even after he apologized for that incident, his streak of making anti-Semitic comments has become somewhat normal. As a result, his once-impeccable reputation is a distant memory.

That’s not a fate that anyone deserves, especially Mr. Pratt. Now, I would argue that he’s in a better position than Mr. Gibson was. The various stories surrounding him and the people who work with him paint him as someone who manages himself very well. I would be genuinely surprised if Mr. Pratt ever underwent a similar meltdown.

That said, there is still a distressing history of religion having a less-than-beneficial impact on celebrities. Whether it’s Kirk Cameron encouraging people to not use their critical thinking skills in the name of Christianity or Tom Cruise bashing psychiatry in the name of Scientology, religion can turn respectable celebrities into an embodiment of perverse religious dogma.

In certain circumstances, they can even help compound that dogma. Celebrities already wield more influence than most priests, mullahs, monks, or rabbis. Religious organizations have a strong incentive to cater to and hold onto celebrity adherents. That way when these celebrities say something about their religion, people are more inclined to listen.

Some celebrities do this willingly and freely. Others are guided towards it. It’s well-documented that Tom Cruise gets special treatment in the Church of Scientology. While we don’t know if Mr. Pratt’s church does something similar for him, they certainly have a reason to do whatever they need to do for him to maintain his support and his money, by default.

At the moment, Mr. Pratt’s church is not on the same level as Scientology or even the Catholic Church. By most measures, it’s a fairly standard conservative Christian church that holds positions that won’t surprise anyone who know anything about religiously-motivated morality. It still holds questionable beliefs and wields more influence than most local churches.

Depending on how Mr. Pratt manages that influence, he could either keep his religious affairs private or go down the path of someone like Kirk Cameron, celebrities whose excessive religiosity hinders their respectability. On top of that, it could lead to him starring in some exceedingly awful movies.

The worst case scenario for Mr. Pratt would be something on the level of Mel Gibson, a meltdown that permanently taints his once-golden image as a likable pretty boy who visits children’s hospitals. I don’t think he deserves that. No celebrity deserves a downfall like that, but religion does tend to make that slope a little steeper.

I haven’t met Chris Pratt and I probably never will, but based on what is publicly known, he’s a good man who has done plenty to deserve our respect. Religion, for the most part, doesn’t change that. However, when taken to extremes, as some celebrities have shown, it can reveal just how corrosive certain dogma can be to otherwise decent people.

As Stephen Weinberg once said of religion, “With or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.” Mr. Pratt is a good person and it would be nothing short of tragic if his sincerely held faith did something to undermine that. Even if you don’t agree with Ms. Page for calling him out, her concerns are still valid.

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Filed under Celebrities and Celebrity Culture, gender issues, human nature, LGBTQ, outrage culture, psychology, religion

Imagining My Perfect Valentine’s Day

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A while back, I imagined what my perfect Christmas would be if I had unlimited resources. Since Christmas is my favorite holiday, it was not too difficult to imagine. When you love a certain occasion, it’s easy to let your imagination run wild. For Valentine’s Day, though, it’s a bit trickier.

At the moment, I’m single. I haven’t been in a serious relationship for quite some time. My reasons for that are many, but I’d rather not focus on that for the moment. Instead, I’d like to push my imagination once more, while also mixing in my fondness for romance, to contemplate the perfect Valentine’s Day.

To do so requires that I be in a relationship, so for this scenario to work, I’m going to use a similar set of rules that I used for Christmas. Once again, that means money is no object. Either I’ve won the lottery or one of my novels became a best seller. Whatever the case, I’m unbound by financial constraints and I have whatever resources I desire, be they tangible assets or logistical know-how.

In addition to those resources, I’ll operate under the assumption that I’m with someone I’m deeply in love with. It doesn’t matter whether we’re married or not. At the very least, we already live together and we’ve a couple long enough to know that our love is serious. It’s not a fling or one of those brief relationships that isn’t supposed to last too long. This is the real deal.

With those parameters in place, here’s how I envision my perfect Valentine’s Day playing out with my lover. Please note that I’ll leave some details ambiguous so that things are flexible between me and my lover. The goal is still the same, though. I want me and my lover to have the greatest Valentine’s Day possible and this is just one way of going about that.

It begins a full month before Valentine’s Day. At some point in mid-January, I ask my love to pick a tropical locale. It doesn’t matter where it is, so long as it has a beach, warm weather, and plenty of places for us to be romantic. Whether it’s the Bahamas, South America, Mexico, or Southeast Asia, I leave it entirely up to her.

Once she makes her choice, I spend the rest of the month making appropriate plans. First, I find the fanciest, most luxurious hotel there is. I then reserve the most expensive suite there is. If necessary, I’ll buy out an entire floor. On top of that, I’ll request that the staff be ready to prepare any of my love’s favorite meals, whether it’s a fancy steak, exotic seafood, or a microwave pizza.

In addition to the food, I’ll make sure to reserve a private portion of the beach, just for us. It doesn’t have to be the entire beach. It just has to be big enough for us to enjoy some privacy, especially if we feel the need to engage in nude sunbathing, nude swimming, or anything other romantic activities that may require nudity.

After those preparations are made, I plan for me and my love to fly out to our tropical destination the day before Valentine’s Day. I make sure the trip itself is romantic. We travel to the airport in a limousine, complete with champagne and snacks. We then fly out on a private jet. There’s no waiting in long lines or being stuck at an airport. We get in and take off as quickly as possible, so as to maximize our time at the beach.

While on route in the air, we share a pre-prepared meal meant to replicate the first meal we shared on our date. As we dine, we also watch the first movie we ever saw together, whatever it might be. Then, depending on how long the trip is, we make love before taking a nice long nap until we arrive at our destination.

Once we’re there, we depart from the private jet, enter another limo, and make our way to the hotel. If we have time, we make love again in the back while enjoying some more champagne, whichever comes first. Upon arriving at the hotel, we settle into our room, get a nice meal if we’re hungry, and go for a nice long walk together on the beach.

From there, things get less structured. We just relax, explore our surroundings, and rest up for an eventful day tomorrow. Before we got to sleep that night, we make love again and we make sure we’re not disturbed. We then settle into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning is Valentine’s Day. As such, we sleep in as long as we please. If we’re in the mood, we make love again. If not, we simply order breakfast in bed and dine naked together. We then share a nice long shower together, followed by a romantic stroll on the beach. Clothing is entirely optional for the most part and discouraged in most instances.

We spend the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon just lounging together on the private areas we reserved. We relax, go swimming, and make love in whatever way we please. Every distraction is minimized. Ever comfort is provided, be it food or suntan lotion.

After a day on the beach, we return to the hotel where we spend the afternoon getting pampered in a spa. We each take turns getting massages. We spend ample time in a hot tub together. Again, clothing is entirely optional or discouraged. Once we’re sufficiently pampered, we retire to our room where a buffet of our favorite food and deserts await us.

As we dine, we have a mini-marathon of our favorite movies and TV shows. We binge as much as we can, recounting the moments they inspired and the passions they evoked. Along the way, we snuggle as much as possible, making love whenever possible. We try to make use of every hour of the day, right up until midnight.

Finally, in the last hour of Valentine’s Day, I carry my lover back to the bedroom, sit her down, and read her a special poem I wrote just for that day. I make sure it’s the most romantic, heart-felt thing I’ve ever written. I say every word with the utmost passion. Then, once I’m finished, I curl up with her in bed, make love to her one last time, and settle into a peaceful sleep just as the clock strikes midnight.

There you have it. That is my vision for the perfect Valentine’s Day. I know it involved a lot of nudity and lovemaking. I’m not going to apologize for that. This is simply my vision for the greatest day of romance I can conjure for my lover. I only hope that one day I meet someone with which I can share such a romance. Until then, I’m content to keep imagining and hope it inspires plenty of sexy stories.

If you have your own vision for the perfect Valentine’s Day, I’d love to hear it. For everyone else lucky enough to have a lover in their lives, I wish you a happy and sexy Valentine’s Day.

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