How Self-Driving Cars Will Change Sex Work (For The Better)
When it comes to emerging technology, there’s one inescapable byproduct that I’m sure confounds plenty of inventors and innovators. If said technology can be used to enhance and/or accommodate sex, it will. It’s like taxes, gravity, or traffic during rush hour. It’s inescapable.
While I’m sure the inventor of the back massager knew on some levels that it was going to be used for lurid purposes, there are plenty of others who had no idea how horny people would use their creations. I suspect that those developing self-driving cars know that at some point, a horny couple will have sex in a self-driving car. It’s just a matter of relegating it to a secondary concern, at most.
Even if you don’t closely follow to ongoing trends of the auto industry, it’s hard to overlook the recent news surrounding self-driving cars. This is not some far-off technology like smart blood, artificial wombs, or warp drives. This is a rapidly-maturing technology that is happening. As we speak, big companies like Uber, Apple, and Tesla are testing this technology.
I can even personally attest to the potential of this technology. Earlier this summer, I got a chance to ride in a Tesla Model S with a self-driving feature. It was quite an experience and I can verify that the technology worked. The car drove itself on a busy highway in the middle of the day. The driver still kept his hands close to the wheel, but the results exceeded my expectations.
While riding in that car, I wondered for a brief moment how this would lead to more sex on the road. Being an aspiring erotica/romance writer, those kinds of thoughts come to me fairly often. With this, it was easy to envision.
The car drives itself.
The driver and the passenger get bored.
As they combat the boredom, they get horny.
Since the car is taking care of itself, they decide to have sex and make their road trip memorable.
I think it’s inevitable. I bet that on the same day self-driving cars enter the market, some adventurous couple will celebrate by having sex in one. It might be so expected that it won’t even make the news. People already have sex in cars, even while they’re moving. Self-driving cars will just make it easier.
This is where sex work enters the equation. It’s another, less common byproduct of technology. Whenever something comes along to change the sexual landscape, it often finds its way into sex work. It happened with the internet. It happened with smartphones. It’s going to happen with self-driving cars.
The impact won’t be direct. It might not even be immediate. However, self-driving cars are bound to affect everything from urban planning to job markets to personal finances. It’s not too great a stretch to believe that it’ll effect sex work.
I’m not the only one who has speculated on this issue. One academic from the University of Surrey and Oxford stated that self-driving cars could be the brothels of the future. Instead of hotel rooms, apartments, massage parlors, or street corners, a self-driving car could act as a mobile red light district, bringing sex workers to clients with greater ease than ever before.
Considering the recent legal upheavals to the world of sex work, self-driving cars may arrive in a chaotic market that is rapidly adapting to new circumstances. Today, it’s a lot harder for sex workers to operate online. It’s also increasingly difficult for them to organize and find support on any area of the political spectrum beyond standard libertarians.
Conservatives see prostitution as immoral and deviant, favoring prosecution and punishment of providers and clients alike.
Liberals see prostitution as exploitative and oppressive, favoring policies that prosecute pimps and treat sex workers as victims.
As a result, operating as a sex worker is very difficult. Even if you live in an area that doesn’t criminalize sex work, as done by the increasingly popular Nordic Model, the logistics of having a place to operate and getting to customers is still fraught with complications. It’s here where self-driving cars could be a potential game-changer.
The most obvious and immediate impact has to do with mobility. As it stands, sex workers have to either operate on the streets or advertise online. Both have only become more dangerous in recent years. A self-driving car is akin to a Taxi that doesn’t ask questions or judge a sex worker on what they may or may not be wearing.
With self-driving cars, sex workers have a cheaper, more anonymous method for getting to clients and expanding their reach. They don’t have to stand on dirty street corners or stay in seedy hotels with questionable laundry service. They can get to where they need to go and not have to rely on a pimp or partner, which is critical in terms of limiting exploitation.
That’s one of the key factors in what makes sex work so dangerous in places where it’s illegal. Sex workers can’t rely on the police or standard legal services for protection. Pimps, including the violent kind, provide that service in a black market environment where workers have to surrender their autonomy in exchange for safety. Self-driving cars could make those services less necessary.
That means sex workers will be able to operate more independently. In terms of limiting the potential for abuse, that’s critical. While the operations of sex work are difficult to study, most research has shown that independent sex workers are better able to avoid the abuse and exploitation that often follows the illegal sex trade. Self-driving cars could make that easier for more sex workers.
Beyond the logistics, self-driving cars could actually become a life-saving tool for sex workers. One of the greatest dangers they face is escaping a violent client. In the past, a sex worker had to rely on a pimp or a fellow worker to get out of those situations. Even calling a cab was risky because, for all they knew, the driver could refuse to help them or report them to the police.
A self-driving car is less prone to ask questions. In addition to being cheaper, it could get them farther away from a bad situation and allow them to operate far from their where they reside. They don’t need to be confined to certain areas or districts. They can move around more freely and expand their reach while keeping more of the money they make.
That’s just the initial impact, though. There are plenty more potential benefits that self-driving cars could bring to the world of sex work. That concern about mobile brothels is probably not an exaggeration. The current laws prohibiting brothels in many jurisdictions assume that domain of sex workers isn’t moving. That wouldn’t apply to a self-driving vehicle.
Even in places where prostitution is legal, establishing a brothel is riddled with all sorts of red tape and regulations. A self-driving car that operates as a brothel isn’t constrained by zoning laws or specified districts. It literally goes to wherever the demand is. Considering how expensive apartments and hotel rooms are in some areas, a self-driving car/brothel may actually be the most cost-effective way for a sex worker to operate.
Given these potential benefits, it’s very likely that plenty of areas would seek to prohibit or regulate this kind of prostitution. However, I suspect that enforcing those laws would be even more difficult than the existing statutes. If a self-driving car operating as a brothel is always moving and the sex workers are discrete, then how would the public or the authorities even know?
There’s also the possibility that self-driving cars could make some aspects of the sex industry even worse. A self-driving car could make activities like human trafficking easier by giving traffickers a cheap new way to move people around. It could also set up some tricky legal battles, especially if sex workers regularly move between areas where prostitution is legal and illegal.
One way or another, self-driving cars are going to affect the world of prostitution in ways that neither an academic from the University of Surrey and Oxford nor an aspiring erotica/romance writer can contemplate. Given how prevalent prostitution has been in every society, no matter hard religion and government tries to suppress it, enterprising sex workers will find a way make the most of it.
Daily Sexy Musing: Ode To Sexy Art
Art is one of those eclectic concepts that means so many things. For one person, it’s the ugly finger-paintings kids do in pre-school. For another, it’s a sculpture of Elvis made out of Ramen noodles. When it comes to sexy art, however, the ideas are a bit more concise. Like any other kink, it’s one of those things you know when you feel.
I may not be able to draw worth a damn, but I know plenty about using artistic skills to capture elements of sex appeal. I do it in my novels and in my sexy short stories. I’ve always had a way with words, using them to convey all sorts of colorful ideas, especially the sexy kind. That skill is even responsible for some of the serious romantic relationships I’ve had in my life.
While I utilize the written word, others tap different skills. Some are much better at it than others. You don’t have to look far to find art with overtly sexual imagery or undertones. Sometimes, it’s barely distinguishable from porn. Other times, though, it can be sexy in a wholly unique way. That’s the kind of art that leaves a hell of an impression.
The following Daily Sexy Musing is a celebration of the sexy side of art and the wondrous effects it has on all of us. It’s not always enough to just see someone else naked and let that be the sole manifestation of sensual imagery. There’s plenty of room for creativity of all kinds. I intend to do my part and I trust plenty of other skilled artists out there to do the same. Enjoy!
The world outside our window is so static and cold, changing only with the time of day and the direction of the winds. It is untouched by imagination, governed by strict rules that can neither be bent nor broken. Lacking color and passion, there’s room for so much more. It’s up to us to forge it.
I am your artist.
You are my canvas.
Our passion is the inspiration.
From it, imagination both loving and lurid roams free.
We coordinate in a process, one that requires tools and mediums to make our vision real. We assemble them in once place. On their own, they are nothing more than means to an end. As artists, we can control both.
Our minds explore boundless possibilities. From that treasure trove of thought, one goal emerges. We must turn our love from a powerful feeling into something tangible. Whether it’s a picture, a sculpture, or a sequence of words, the immaterial essence that is our love must become real. That, we believe, is art worth treasuring.
Maybe it’s a portrait, one that depicts our bodies entwined.
Maybe it’s a poem, one that describes our love through a tapestry of words.
Maybe it’s a symbol, one that we make our own and share with a passionless world.
There are so many choices, but only a few are fit for creation. Just thinking about it feels like an arduous journey in which the end is our own to forge. It’s overwhelming, but exciting. We don’t know where to begin or where it will end. That doesn’t matter, though. All that matters is the passion put into it.
From the whims of emotion and imagination, we decide on our path. In our minds, the perfect manifestation of our love appears as clear as the morning sun. Every detail becomes clear. Thought becomes vision. All that remains is to make it real through an artist’s hands.
Together, we craft something that will transcend our bodies and minds.
Together, we create a masterpiece that perfectly captures our love.
Filed under Daily Sexy Musings
The Future Of Villains And Villainy
What is happening to villains these days? That’s an entirely reasonable question to ask. Over the past decade, we’ve seen a remarkable shift in how we approach villainy in movies, TV, comic books, and video games. I’m not just talking about the superhero media, either. However, that happens to be the most visible manifestation of this change.
As a long-time fan of both superheroes and quality villains, I welcome this change. At the same time, I’m curious about where it’s leading and what it means for the future. Villains are as old as storytelling itself. From the Bible to “Star Wars,” these stories work best when there’s villainy to oppose the unfolding narrative. Villains have always evolved alongside the heroes that oppose them, but that evolution seems to be accelerating.
I’ve discussed the unique journey that villains undergo and how they set themselves apart from heroes. Traditionally, a villain’s primary purpose was to both oppose the hero and highlight how heroic they are. The sheer malice of characters like Lex Luthor help contrast the pure selflessness of characters like Superman. It’s easier to appreciate those heroes knowing they have to deal such malicious opponents.
Then, something remarkable happened. Audiences began demanding more of their villains. It wasn’t enough to just have a villain oppose a hero. People began wanting villains who were understandable and even relatable to some extent. Ironically, they wanted a villain they could root for.
That helped lead to characters like Walter White from “Breaking Bad.” His impact was so profound that I even called his influence the Walter White effect. However, I think there were others who paved the way for Walter White. If I had to pick one villain that helped kick-start this trend in villainy, it would be Heath Ledger’s Joker from “The Dark Knight.”
From this portrayal of villainy, the emerging state of villains emerged and it may very well set the tone for the future. On the surface, this version of the Joker wasn’t too different from the one who had existed in the comics for years. He’s dangerous, destructive, murderous, and callous, like many villains. Unlike most, though, he does what he does with a laugh and a smile.
What made this version of the Joker so memorable was the principles behind his madness. To him, society is corrupt and people aren’t inherently good. As such, he seeks to point out how laughable it is when others try to save it. Batman’s crusade against crime is the biggest joke of all, which helps drive their rivalry.
It’s a philosophy that few other than terrorists and extreme nihilists would buy into, but it’s one that’s understandable to some extent. We don’t have to agree with them or their methods. We just have to see their twisted logic. They can’t just be standard James Bond villains whose motives are indistinguishable from fascists, communists, or terrorists. There needs to be something more personal at work.
We saw plenty of that in 2018’s biggest movies. From “Black Panther” to “ Avengers: Infinity War” to “Incredibles 2,” the villains all had something personal at stake. Erik Killmonger saw his villainous actions as heroic. He wasn’t out to just take over Wakanda. He had a vision in mind that felt justified to some extent, especially to those familiar with real-world historical injustices.
Thanos raised the bar even more in “Avengers: Infinity War.” He never tries to come off as a hero, but he never sees his actions as villainous, either. In fact, when heroes like Dr. Strange call him out, he frames his desire to cull half the population in the universe as mercy. For him, it’s simple math. Half a population is better than no population at all.
These motivations, as devious they might be on paper, have some semblance of merit to it. Both Thanos and Killmonger think they’re doing the right thing. That significantly impacts how the heroes in their stories go about thwarting them, although I would argue that one story was more complete while the other remains unresolved.
In “Black Panther,” T’Challa doesn’t just stop at defeating Killmonger. He actually sees some of his enemy’s points and takes steps to address them. He doesn’t revert things back to the way they were. Wakanda doesn’t return to the same isolated state it had been at the start of the movie. Instead, he seeks to find a middle ground. That, I would argue, is the new template for how heroes defeat this kind of villain.
The resolution in “Avengers: Infinity War,” however, is not as clear. That’s largely due to the story not being complete. There is a sequel planned, but at no point in the three-hour spectacle did the Avengers attempt to prove Thanos wrong. They only ever tried to stop him. That oversight has not gone unnoticed by audiences.
This, in many ways, sums up the new dynamic between heroes in villains. It’s no longer enough for heroes to just defeat their adversaries. It’s not even enough for villains to be exceptionally devious. There have to be larger principles at work. It can’t just be reduced to general greed, ego, or bullying.
Thanos seeks to kill have the population because he believes that it’ll prevent the complete extinction of all life.
Erik Killmonger seeks to empower oppressed minorities to right past injustices.
Dr. Doom seeks to conquer the world because a world under his rule is the only one free of suffering and want. That’s actually canon in the comics.
It’s makes crafting compelling villains more difficult, but at the same time, it opens the door to more complexity. On top of that, it demands that audiences think beyond the good versus evil dynamic that has defined so many stories, going back to the days of fairy tales. It’s a challenge that some are certain to fail. Some already have, sadly.
It also sets the tone for future forms of villainy. How that villainy manifests is impossible to predict, but given the current trends, I think there’s room to speculate. At the heart of this emerging villainy is the idea that the current system just isn’t working. It’s so bad that the only viable option is to destroy and rebuild it. There’s no room, whatsoever, for reform.
This is where the heroes will have to evolve, as well. They can’t just play “Super Friends” and save the day. They have to actually make meaningful changes to move society forward. King T’Challa did that at the end of “Black Panther.” Other heroes need to be as willing. Otherwise, they won’t be able to call themselves heroes. They’re just defenders of a status quo may not be working as well as they think.
It’s an ideological struggle that parallels many real-world struggles. People today have less and less faith in established institutions. As a result, more people are falling sway to populist rhetoric that promises to break down the current system entirely. By and large, people today aren’t content with just preserving things as they are. They seek more meaningful change.
That presents a serious problem for heroes and a golden opportunity for villains. Historically, heroes haven’t been able to effect change beyond a certain point. Some of that is for logistical reasons. A hero can never create a functioning utopia without ending the story completely, which is something major media companies cannot have. There’s too much money to be made.
Logistics aside, the future of villainy will have plenty of raw materials to work with and plenty of societal angst to draw upon. Heroes who save the day, but do little else won’t be able to call themselves heroes in the world currently unfolding. Villains who have a real vision with understandable motivations will find themselves with more supporters than before.
It’s no longer taboo to root for the villain, especially when the heroes don’t confront the flaws in their rhetoric. In what seems prophetic now, “Avengers: Age of Ultron” may have put it best when Ultron stated:
“I’m sorry, I know you mean well. You just didn’t think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don’t want it to change.”
That’ll be the key to the future of villainy, change in a world that resists too much of it happening at once. It’ll make for some complicated villains, but it will definitely make the struggle of heroes even harder. However it plays out, I believe it’ll be worth watching.
Daily Sexy Musing: Road Trips
For some people, a road trip is a test of endurance and back muscles. I consider myself among those people. I’ve never cared much for road trips. I consider any car ride over two hours to be a chore. As a result, I don’t find much sex appeal in road trips.
That said, I don’t deny that there are some who do. I’m even related to a few of them. I can see it in them, even when they don’t state it overtly. There’s something inherently appealing about venturing down long roads to distant places, getting away from the tedium of their everyday lives. For them, there is real appeal in a road trip and some of it is sexy.
One of my roommates in college took it to another level. He owned a motorcycle and he once joked about how much long rides made his girlfriend horny. It’s also worth noting that this roommate was terrible at telling jokes and carried himself with the subtlety of a bullhorn, especially when his girlfriend was involved.
Even though road trips don’t appeal to me, I can certainly appreciate those who feel otherwise. For the purposes of today’s Daily Sexy Musing, I’d like to channel the spirit of my former roommate and his girlfriend in tapping the joys of a road trip. Some people need to just get away. Why not make it sexy as hell?
It’s the middle of the day. We’ve had a long week. Every hour has been 60 minutes of toil. Just coming home isn’t enough anymore. Our home has become nothing more than a pit stop in our daily regimen. It can no longer soothe our frayed nerves or nurture our shared passions. We must get away.
On a whim, we make a fateful decision. We abandon our current plans, shove aside our reservations, and just act without thinking. We cannot escape our lives, but we can seek new excitement. We need only let go of the shackles that keep us in place.
I take your hand.
You hold it tightly.
We enter the car and we start driving.
There’s no destination in mind. There’s no itinerary to maintain or schedule to keep. The only direction that matters is the one that takes us away from work and responsibilities. With every mile traveled, the air gets cleaner. Every breath feels fresher, like a weight from our souls has finally faltered.
Farther and farther, I take us into the unknown. The roads become less familiar and the scenery becomes more exotic. We’re not far from home, but we might as well be in another time zone. Everything feels so new and fresh, a world of beauty hiding in plain sight.
I look over at you. I see you smile with the brilliance of a thousand suns. The thrill of the road and the reprieve from the familiar is liberating. Beyond your smile, though, I see more than just exhilaration. You have that glint in your eye, one that hints at something other than relief.
I pull the car over into an unfamiliar place.
I park in a secluded area away from prying eyes.
I welcome you into my embrace and you lovingly accept.
In the confined space of a car, we smother one another with free passions. We don’t just kiss. We entwine our tongues like two snakes in heat, wildly slithering in an open field. Clothes become too tight. Flesh becomes too hot. In the freedom granted by the road, we rediscover our love and make it for this new world to see.
It is only a brief trip, but we reach our destination.
Filed under Daily Sexy Musings
Why “Adulting” Is Getting Harder
I’ve stated before that there are certain words I believe should be purged from the English lexicon. Contrived, agenda-driven terms like “toxic masculinity” or “mansplaining” are at the top of my list. I strongly believe that terminology like that is doing everything to further hostility and hinder understanding.
That being said, there are a few words that I have mixed feelings about. I think they also do plenty to divide people for all the wrong reasons, but I also understand why they exist. One term that I feel is increasingly relevant, albeit for negative reasons, is the concept of “adulting.”
I put that term in quotes for a reason, but it’s not out of sarcasm or scorn. This is one of those words that exists because there’s a need for it. Even if you think “adulting” sounds silly, chances are a word every bit as silly, if not more so, would’ve been coined. That’s because what it means to be a functioning adult is changing and not in a way that makes things easier.
This sentiment is implied in the popular definition. Even though it’s a fairly new term, it has become relevant enough to warrant a listing in the Oxford Dictionary, which defines it as follows:
The practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks.
It may seem too simple to warrant scrutiny and maybe that was right several decades ago. However, a lot has changed in the past 30 years. A lot has changed in the past 10 years. The world isn’t as simple as it used to be. It’s become incredibly complex, full of fake news, alternative facts, and contrived outrage. That has changed what it means to be an adult.
I know this will elicit plenty of groans from certain crowds, but I’ll say it anyways. Being an adult is hard these days. Yes, I’m aware that it’s supposed to be hard to some extent. It always has been, going back to the hunter/gatherer days. Being an adult means functioning on your own and contributing to your society. You can no longer rely on parents or elders to provide for you. You must now do the providing.
It’s a challenge for many, some more so than others. However, there are some unique challenges facing adults today, especially among the younger crowds. I know this because I’m one of them. I’ve discussed the distressing issues surrounding Millennials and the potential issues that Generation Z will face in the coming years. Many of those issues, though, will affect everyone of any generation.
I’m not just referring to the crippling student loan debts that are burdening Millennials or the rising cost of housing in urban areas. There are deeper, more fundamental struggles that hinder or even discourage our ability to embrace adulthood. You want to know why nostalgia is so popular or why escapism is so prominent in media? Well, the complications and frequent frustrations that come with “adulting” are huge factors.
To understand, here’s a list of a few reasons why “adulting” is a thing and why just being an adult is getting harder. Hopefully, it’ll help make sense of this annoying, but relevant term. You’ll still probably roll your eyes whenever someone claims they cannot “adult” anymore for the day. If nothing else, this will help you understand where they’re coming from.
Too Much Information Is Overwhelming Us (And Making Us Mentally Ill)
This isn’t just a Millennial thing. It’s not even a byproduct of social media. The trend of people just getting more and more information has been happening for decades as people moved further and further away from rural, agrarian communities. Today, more people are educated now than at any point in human history. That has many benefits, but it comes at a cost.
Now, we can’t just see what’s going on in our world through pictures and streaming media. We can read about things, learn about them, and scrutinize them. That’s helpful in some instances, but in a world that’s increasingly connected and full of conflicting information, it can be overwhelming.
On top of that, we tend to find out about bad news and horrific atrocities as they’re unfolding. Many people alive today actually saw the horrors of the September 11th attacks occur on live TV. More recently, people were able to follow the horrors of the Parkland shooting as it unfolded on social media.
Being informed is part of being an adult, but when you’re informed of every horrific thing that happens in the world, it can wear on you. Some research has shown that this sort of system is impacting peoples’ mental health. In that context, it makes sense for someone to want to step back from that part of adulting.
For most of human history, we didn’t know or care about the horrors going on outside our tiny community. In the past 30 years, we know everything that’s going on everywhere. The human mind is good at a lot of things. Making sense of that much information isn’t one of them.
Our Options Feel Increasingly Limited (And We Don’t Know Which To Follow)
Growing up, every adult told me the path to success was simple. If you just stayed in school, got good grades, went to a decent college, and got a bachelor’s degree, then you were set. You could expect to find a good job with decent pay that would allow you to build a comfortable living for yourself and your future family. I believed in that path. I followed it. I can safely say it was half-true at best.
While there is plenty of merit to a college education, it’s no longer the clear-cut path it once was. I personally know people who graduated from good schools with quality degrees in subjects like engineering and they’re struggling. It’s not that people are getting useless degrees in underwater basket weaving. It’s that just getting a degree is no longer sufficient.
After graduating from college, I was in this daze for a while and many of my fellow graduates were the same. We were all told that getting this degree would set us on the right path, but nobody told us how to navigate that path or what it even looked like. As a result, most people ended up in jobs that had nothing to do with their college major.
On top of that, the job market is becoming increasingly unstable. The rise of the gig economy is making it so people don’t just live paycheck to paycheck. They live job to job, never knowing if they’ll even have one when they wake up the next day. These are not the same well-paying, blue collar factory jobs of the past. This is work that will not help pay a mortgage or a student loan debt.
However, we’re still told that this is the path. This is how we’ll prosper in the future. Even as we look for other options, most adults today don’t know how viable they are. We’re left in a state of uncertainty that past adults never had to deal with. We still need to choose, though, because our bills aren’t going to pay themselves.
There’s No Margin For Error And Every Mistake Will Follow You Forever
Remember when it was possible to make a dirty, offensive joke among friends and not worry about it haunting you for the rest of your life? I’m not being old or cantankerous. I’m serious because I do remember when that was possible. In my youth, I heard plenty of jokes that would’ve ruined someone’s life today if they’d been captured on video or posted on social media.
This isn’t just about political correctness or identity politics corrupting discourse. Adults today live in a world where any mistake they make, be it a bad joke or an off-hand comment, can come back to haunt them. It doesn’t matter if it’s from a celebrity or even if it occurs in private. It can still cost you dearly.
Now, I wish I didn’t have to say this, but I have to since I’m posting this on the internet. None of what I’m saying is implying that certain behavior, language, or comments are justified. I think it’s a good thing, for the most part, that certain people are paying a price for their bigoted attitudes. However, that good does come at a cost and it’s felt by adults at every level.
To some extent, we envy kids now because kids can say dumb things and get away with it. They’re kids. They have an excuse and it’s one of the few excuses most people accept these days. If you’re an adult, though, you’ve got nothing of the sort. You can blame liberals, conservatives, or Ambien all you want. You’re still going to pay a price.
As adults, we’re responsible for what we say and do. That’s part of what it means to be an adult. The problem is that in a world where every mistake is documented and preserved forever, our margin for error is exceedingly small. How many people don’t get the job they want because of an embarrassing photo or tweet they made a decade ago? How many people get fired because of it?
Regardless of how justified it may or may not be, it adds further stress to the inherently-stressful responsibilities that come with being an adult. The adults of today have many complications to deal with and if you mess even one up, then it could haunt you to the day you die. Now, do you understand why so many adults seem so uptight about adulting?
We Feel Like We Cannot Escape (And Badly Need To)
Life has always carried harsh burdens. Whether it was escaping wars or fighting disease, people of every generation in every period have sought out some reprieve from the endless struggle. Sometimes, it takes the form of games, drugs, books, or sports. After a long day of working the fields or gathering food, we needed some form of reprieve.
It’s as important today as it was in previous centuries. The big difference today is that we feel like we have fewer and fewer opportunities to do so. Life on farms and fields was rough, but at least the challenges were clear and laid out. We worked to survive. If we survived, we celebrated. It was simple.
Today, surviving just isn’t enough. We have bills to pay, debts to service, jobs to find, and connections to make. On top of that, we have to keep up with the news and popular trends. We have to fit into an increasingly diverse world where people of different communities and cultures are connected. It’s a lot of work, taking time and energy that go beyond plowing a field.
It doesn’t help that the abundance of information and the prominence of bad news makes the future seem so bleak. Even if society is progressing on almost every measurable level, our perceptions imply that the world outside our windows is dangerous, hostile, and hopeless. We can’t do anything about it, our politicians are inept, and our votes don’t even count.
In those frustrating circumstances, it makes sense for people to lose themselves in video games, movies, and TV shows. The whole concept of binge-watching allows adults to lose themselves in hours of content, which subsequently allows them to detach from a harsh reality that they have no hope of effecting.
Say what you want about adults who still love comic books and video games. The fact that they’re both multi-billion dollar industries is a sign that many are desperate for an escape from the frustrations of their adult lives. The things we loved as kids are just the easiest and most familiar paths.
There are plenty of other reasons I could list about “adulting” and why it’s getting increasingly difficult. I have a feeling that many adults reading this have their own sets of reasons and there will probably be more within the coming years. There will also be others who complain about anyone who tries to talk about those reasons. It’s sure to evoke more frustration and whining.
In the end, we all have to be adults at some point. There’s a time and a place to just step back from it all and take a breath. That shouldn’t be controversial, but the fact that “adulting” is now a thing means there are a lot of complications to adult life and we’re not doing a good enough job handling them.
Filed under human nature, outrage culture, philosophy, psychology
Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Moaning Edition
It’s unavoidable. When you’re sharing a passionate moment, you’re going to moan at some point. It’s like a reflex. Your body is doing something awesome and your mind is telling you it’s awesome. You’re going to try and vocalize that somehow. A good, sexy moan achieves all that and then some.
Moaning is one of those acts that has a mixed reputation and not in a good way. Most of the time, you don’t moan for a good reason. Sometimes, it’s out of distress. Sometimes, it’s out of discomfort. It’s not one of those things that has inherently sexy connotations. Like true love or the sound of an alarm clock, though, you know it when you hear it.
Many of my novels and sexy short stories often highlight the moaning often associated with intimate moments. Plenty of other erotica/romance media, from movies to porn, do the same. In the right circumstances, a moan can be the perfect manifestation of sexiness and passion. It’s difficult to achieve, but it’s certainly worth pursuing.
This week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is dedicated to that pursuit and the extra-sexy results they achieve. Some may not be in the mood for that kind of moaning this early on a Sunday. At the very least, I hope it gives you an appreciation for it. Enjoy!
“When you think about it, a brothel is essentially an orgasm clinic.”
“The most awkward part of puberty is suddenly wanting to see other people naked.”
“The size of the dildo someone uses says a lot about their standards for a good time.”
“Pity sex is like a penny in that it has actual value, but it’s generally not the currency most prefer.”
“A couple’s first kiss counts as their act of foreplay in that it shows how willing they are to touch body parts.”
“How loud we are during sex often determines how sore we are the next day.”
“Going to a strip club on a date invites serious conflict between one’s heart and genitals.”
I’m not going to assume any of that got people moaning for all the right reasons. At the very least, I hope it got certain people in the kind of mood that makes it a pleasant byproduct. Intimacy and romance manifest in all kinds of ways. Some are cruder than others and moaning certainly qualifies. That doesn’t make it any less sexy.
Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts
Daily Sexy Musing: The Joy (And Danger) Of Thrill Sex
Thrill sex is one of those kinky, yet subjective aspects of romance. What counts as thrilling for some may seem mundane to others. Some couples consider sex in a moving car on a busy highway as thrilling. Others consider sex outside a police station in broad daylight as thrilling. Both can get the job done. One just carries more risk/danger than others.
When I was in high school, the pinnacle of thrill sex involved couples who did it in their parents’ bedroom while they were home. I can see how that would be thrilling to hormonal teenagers, but it’s one of those situational thrills that depends heavily on circumstance. Some parents may get incensed by the idea. Some may end up reacting with shotguns.
As subjective it can be, thrill sex is one of those special manifestations of intimacy that even non-romantics can appreciate. It doesn’t have to be overtly dangerous. It just has to mix things up in a way that carries risk beyond strangers seeing your genitals. The following Daily Sexy Musing is a celebration of the diverse appeal of thrill sex. For all those adventurous couples out there, I hope it gives you some ideas. Enjoy!
When I’m around you, I want you. I crave your loving, intimate touch. It’s not just a desire. It’s a need, as necessary as air or food. I can tell you want me too. I can feel it every time your gaze undresses me wholly.
Most of the time, we manage that urge. However, there are times when it cannot be managed, nor should it. Within those moments, a private dwelling and a warm bed aren’t always available. Sometimes, they’re not even sufficient. These are the times when we need something more.
To hell with closed doors.
To hell with safe domains.
To hell with modest restraint.
To hell with anything that dare hides our passion.
I take your hand and you take mine. Together, we seek a setting fraught with risk and danger. The thought, alone, gets our hearts racing. The rush mixes with desire, every lurid inclination amplified like gasoline on a fire. As the need burns hotter, our effort grows bolder.
Maybe we’ll do it in the bathroom of an airplane as it flies over an ocean.
Maybe we’ll do it near the edge of a cliff overlooking a canyon.
Maybe we’ll do it in the woods where hungry animals dwell.
Maybe we’ll do it in your father’s garage while he’s cleaning his guns.
It doesn’t matter where, when, or how. I want you so much. I seek to demonstrate that love, physically and passionately. I don’t care if the whole world sees us in our lurid glory. I want everyone to know the breadth of our love. I want them to marvel and gasp at how well we express it.
The danger doesn’t dissuade us. If anything, it further excites us. Clothes become a burden. Flesh becomes hot with urgency. We seek out that which repels lovers less bold than us. We pity the limits of their passion while celebrating our own.
Finally, we find that special place.
We secure that special moment.
We’re surrounded by danger, inviting great embarrassment and real harm. We don’t care. Our love and passion overshadows all of that.
From that great risk comes greater reward. In that moment of palpable peril, our love becomes more than love. It becomes a true thrill.
Filed under Daily Sexy Musings
