Tag Archives: raunchy

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Thanksgiving 2020 Edition

The holidays are truly upon us now. We can all stop complaining about malls and stores putting their decorations up too damn early. It’s officially not early anymore. We’re in the heart of the season. It often starts just before Thanksgiving, but now we’re past the before part.

Let’s not overlook the big, ugly turkey in the room, though. This past Thanksgiving, and the holidays in general, are bound to be different this year. You just can’t have normal Thanksgiving festivities during a once-in-a-century global pandemic. It’s both irresponsible and dangerous. That’s why we have to adapt, but doing so doesn’t mean abandoning the holiday spirit.

This past Thanksgiving was very different for me and my family. I’m used to big family gatherings, long tables of tightly packed family members gorging on food, and lots of friendly hugging. That sort of deal just isn’t conducive to things like social distancing. I understand that. I don’t like it, but I understand it.

Were it not for video chatting and Zoom, I might not have seen my family at all this year. For that, I’m thankful. If nothing else, it encourages me to make Thanksgiving extra awesome next year. I encourage others to do the same if we’ve done enough to end this pandemic. With two vaccines in the works, that’s no longer too big an if.

In the meantime, it’s still a great time to get into the holiday spirit. This past Thanksgiving may have been different, but it’s still a reason to celebrate and appreciate what we have, as well as what we’ve overcome. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help you feel thankful, among other things. Enjoy!

“A tactful nymphomaniac is not that different from a functional alcoholic.”

“Men can’t help but be conflicted when a woman recognizes a famous porn star.”

“To some extent, drama is the foreplay before foreplay.”

“The human race would literally not exist without motherfuckers and yet we use that as an insult.”

“Find a lover who will protect you the same way a pervert protects their hard drive.”

“Like it or not, hot moms are likely to raise the most awkward teenagers.”

“Hate sex leaves your body and mind conflicted, even when you do it right.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Late Bloomer Edition

Growing up, you probably knew someone who didn’t really come into their own, physically or mentally, until much later in life. It’s hard to notice at the time. More often than not, we don’t identify someone as a late bloomer until years later. By then, the memories of who they were before they bloomed have seriously clashed with who we see before us. 

I certainly knew some late bloomers. Back in middle school, I knew this girl in the eighth grade who dressed like a tomboy most of the time and rarely stood out. You wouldn’t mistake her for a boy, but she wasn’t the kind of girl who turned heads. I didn’t get the sense she wanted to. 

That changed considerably in the span of two years. By then, she’d developed considerably and yes, I mean that in the exact way you’re thinking. She still dressed like a tomboy, but didn’t exactly hide that she had above-average breasts. She also got taller and developed a more feminine frame. Needless to say, she got more attention than I think she wanted. 

She was a classic late bloomer. Some take even longer. I know people who didn’t really bloom until their late 20s, usually because they decided to get in shape or get healthier. The transformations can be quite remarkable, as can the attention they get from those who knew them before they bloomed. 

Like an exotic flower, it’s a beautiful thing. Whether it’s by nature or effort, I think late bloomers reflect a unique sex appeal that’s worth celebrating. Keep that in mind when you see someone coming of age. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help in that effort. Take care!

“Phone sex is just an elaborate effort to talk someone into having an orgasm.”

“It’s objectively impossible to be more egotistical than a masturbating narcissist.”

“Depending on the circumstances, being easily distracted can be an advantage and disadvantage during heated lovemaking.”

“There’s no non-sexual way to tell a woman her panties look good on her.”

“Being really charming is for men what breast implants are for women.”

“You’re bound to have mixed feelings if you shake hands with a scientist who studies orgasms.”

“Men who routinely have sex with crazy women are more daring than skydivers and test pilots combined.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Movember 2020 Edition

It’s been a long year. I don’t think that’s a controversial statement at this point. A year as objectively awful as 2020 has a tendency to drag. It’s still not over, so there’s a distinct possibility that it could get even worse. As scary as that prospect sounds, there are still some things we should still embrace, despite the all-around horrors of 2020.

The fact that we made it to November is an accomplishment in and of itself. Given the events of all the previous months, anything involving health definitely deserves greater emphasis. As it just so happens, the annual Movember events that help raise awareness of men’s health is perfectly in line with that effort.

I know men’s health issues tend to get less attention than others. That doesn’t make them any less important. Men are people too. Men also suffer serious health issues that disproportionately impact them, such as prostate cancer. The Movember foundation helps raise money and awareness for these issues.

In addition to donating money, men also participate by growing a mustache or facial hair. I’ve shared my own personal story with that effort and I can attest to the manliness this brings out in others. I can also attest that there’s some serious sex appeal to manly facial hair. The sexiness of Ron Swanson is proof enough of that.

So, in the spirit of Movember, I dedicate these Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the cause of men’s health. Once you’ve enjoyed the overall sexiness, please consider donating to the Movember foundation. Men’s health, and health in general, has never been more important. It won’t undo how bad this year has been, but it will help set up a better future for men and boys alike.

“An unzipped fly in a man sends a very different message than a short skirt on a woman.”

“Makeup sex was likely the first attempt at conflict resolution.”

“A woman with a backup vibrator knows the benefits and value of being proactive.”

“A date without romance is just a conspiracy to get laid.”

“On some levels, the nature of orgasms make hate sex inherently hypocritical.”

“Taking your date to church is like wearing a bikini in a nudist colony.”

“A tease is just someone who is willing to lie to your face and your genitals.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Rebel Edition

Women are attracted to bad boy. Men are attracted to bad girls, although it’s much more understated. It’s a common mantra, but one I think is incomplete. To me, there’s a difference between being a bad boy/bad girl and a rebel. In terms of romance and sex appeal, I think the rebel has the edge. I would even argue that’s the true source of the bad boy/bad girl sex appeal.

A bad boy/bad girl just breaks the rules. They shun authority and deviate from existing social norms. Now, I don’t deny that can have sex appeal for some people. However, just breaking the rules because you don’t like them is hardly sex. A rebel will break rules too, but with more purpose and agency behind it.

I’ve known rebellious men and women. When they break the rules, they have a reason for it and they don’t hide it. They’re not just looking for chaos and trouble. They want to chart their own path. They want to live their own life. That, in my opinion, shows a level of strength and self-awareness that warrants sex appeal. Men and women alike can appreciate it.

It may not do it for you, but it should be easy to understand why so many others are smitten by it. It’s that special kind of sex appeal that I want to acknowledge with this round of my Sexy Sunday thoughts. Enjoy!

“In a healthy relationship, sharing your browser history is both an intimate and informative act.”

“Getting someone a thoughtful gift is the only universally accepted form of foreplay.”

“Confidence will get you laid, but arrogance will get you divorced.”

“Evolutionarily speaking, you have every possible incentive to regularly wash your genitals.”

“A lack of sexual education guarantees an abundance of awkward moments later in life.”

“As a general rule when it comes to lovemaking, don’t be too rough with any body part you’re eager to lick.”

“If life were a video game, then a one-night stand can be either a trap or a bonus level, depending on your score.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Halloween 2020 Edition

In case you’re in another time zone or just need it belabored, I’ll say it again.

Happy Halloween!

Yes, I know Halloween was yesterday.

Yes, I know that some of us are still recovering from a night of eating too much candy and pumpkin flavored ale.

Yes, I also know that 2020 has done plenty to make Halloween extra bittersweet this year.

No, I do not care. I still love Halloween all the same. I still say it’s worth celebrating. Even if you can’t go trick-or-treating or attend some spooky Halloween party, it’s a fun holiday for kids and adults alike. You may have to get extra creative this year, but it’s worth making the effort.

The spooky themes, slutty costumes, and excessive junk food gives something for everyone. If you can’t have fun with any of that, then you’re just being difficult. It doesn’t matter how much this year sucks. Don’t let it stop you from having fun.

Even though it was yesterday, find a way to draw out the fun. Have some more candy. Enjoy a nice pumpkin latte. Watch a few more horror movies. Put on your favorite slutty costume again. If you need a little inspiration, here’s my Halloween 2020 edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!

“Kidnapping someone with a bondage fetish is bound to be more awkward for the kidnappers at some point.”

“Can you say you’ve been completely honest with your kids if you won’t tell them how they were conceived?”

“Be a little suspicious of any man who gets an erection at a pet store or zoo.”

“Hard work pays off, but any work that gets you laid is a bonus.”

“Expecting your lover to satisfy you without telling them how is like whining about an election you didn’t vote in.”

“A horny man who mistakes hand sanitizer for lube will still do something that benefits their penis.”

“Insecurity is only ever sexy to those who are willing to exploit it.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Body Heat Edition

It’s getting to be that time of year again. Sadly, it has nothing to do with Halloween. I have a feeling that the ongoing global pandemic will temper/shatter all Halloween spirits this year. It has more to do with the shifting weather. Fall is already here in my part of the world. If you happen to live in a tropical climate that never gets cold, you probably don’t care. We also envy you. Don’t let that got to your head.

For the rest of us, it’s getting cold. A few nights ago marked the coldest night in my area since February. I had to actually get an extra blanket. I also imagine that for the lovers out there lucky enough to share a bed, it was the first night when you valued one another’s body heat.

It’s an understated, but still very sensual aspect to love. Body heat is one of those things that’s both sexy and pragmatic. On cold nights, like the ones we’re bound to face, we cherish it for some added warmth. If you happen to have a crappy heater, it’s even more valuable. The added sexy stuff that goes with it is just a nice bonus.

It’s sexy and it helps save money. That’s as much a win-win as we’re ever going to get these days. Where I live, it’s already shaping up to be a much worse winter than last year. If I can’t find a lover to keep me warm, I’ll have to stick with some extra blankets and these Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!

“Imagine and appreciate how much trust it takes to let someone else shave your pubic hair.”

“Melodrama is the political debate between your heart and your genitals.”

“Freedom allows us to explore our kinks while repression forces us to make new ones.”

“A big part of loving someone is aligning when and how you get horny.”

“There’s a good chance you’ll be a little uncomfortable with the type and quantity of porn your lover has consumed.”

“Going to church and getting laid is a greater accomplishment than going to a club and getting laid.”

“You can’t protest overpopulation without protesting orgasms to some extent.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Wedding Party Edition

If you’re a romantic and you don’t like weddings, then you’re sending mixed messages. I admit that when I was a kid, I didn’t care for weddings that much. In my defense, that was before I developed my fondness for romance, parties, and an open bar.

Now, as I’ve gotten older and come to appreciate all those things, I have a strong appreciation for weddings and the parties they inspire.

The world may feel like a never-ending disaster in a year like this. Joyous moments and events have been few and far between. In that sense, a beautiful wedding is a perfect counterbalance. We celebrate a beautiful moment, a culmination of a beautiful love. I honestly can’t think of a better way to counter the awfulness of this past year.

For those who are delaying their wedding to next year, I completely understand. To those hoping to still have their wedding this year, I say go for it! It’s worth doing. Love is always worth it. To that end, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help motivate you. Enjoy!

“A man who loves tacos should be more inclined to love oral sex.”

“Great sex won’t make you fall in love, but you’ll be more willing to make the effort.”

“Catching your lover masturbating may just mean you’re libidos are out of sync.”

“Beauty will only take you so far if you’re a lazy lover.”

“Hate is dangerous, but hate sex is an accomplishment.”

“Rough sex is the only time when profanity can be instructive.”

“A man bragging about the size of his dick was likely the first case of false advertising.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Rainy Day Loving Edition

I know talking about the weather is so mundane, but in a year as awful as 2020, I think it’s oddly refreshing. Now, I’m not going to just wax poetic about how nice it is to go out on a sunny day, spend some time with friends, and have some fun with your lover, if you’re lucky enough to have one. That’s all well and good. For me, however, I’ve always found rainy days more relaxing.

I think it runs in my family. One of my father’s favorite things to do in the spring and summer was just sit out on the porch, drink a cold beer, and watch the rain fall. He said it relaxed him. I must have inherited that sentiment because it relaxes me too. In fact, I’ve come to appreciate the relaxing calm of a rainy morning. It just makes everything feel more peaceful.

When I had a girlfriend, it often inspired me to get a little more affectionate and playful. When you’re relaxed and content, you’re bound to let your sexy side show. That means when it’s rainy and dreary on any given morning, you can expect me to get extra romantic. On the off chance my future wife is reading this somewhere, I hope that gives her something to look forward to.

Now that the weather is getting colder and the days are getting shorter, a rainy day is bound to take on a different context. So long as that context involves cuddling up in a bed to stay warm, I’m all for it. Whether you find the weather sexy or not, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get the right currents flowing inside you. Enjoy!

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an orgasm a day keeps divorce lawyers unpaid.”

“Being honest in a relationship often means being blunt during sex.”

“To some extent, sexting depends on some people being susceptible to pop-up ads.”

“Being in love means not caring where your lover’s fingers and tongue have been.”

“Slut shaming is just an indirect form of orgasm envy.”

“Friends don’t let friends with benefits neglect said benefits.”

“Relationship drama often boils down to disagreeing on how to share your genitals.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Fancy Cocktail Edition

For a good chunk of my adult life, I wasn’t much of a drinker. There’s a story behind that, but I’ll save it for another day. However, I did understand the appeal of alcohol. I also knew there was a time and a place for certain drinks. Not all were equal in terms of alcohol content, situation, or intention. A shot of Jack Daniels is not the same as a Bud Light. That much was clear.

Within that broad spectrum, though, are cocktails. Even before I started drinking, I understood they were a special kind of drink. They were almost works of art, mixing certain ingredients in just such a way that it creates a unique drinking experience. Some have strange names. From a simple Cosmopolitan to a Mojito to a Manhattan, they all offer a unique blend of sorts.

I admit I haven’t tried many of them, but of those I have, I can attest to that uniqueness. Drinking a cocktail feels like a celebration for your taste buds and your liver. It’s less about getting drunk and more about enjoying the social aspects of drinking. As a result, those social aspects can have a romantic component. I know relationships and hook-ups that began with a social gathering that involved cocktails.

When done right, and not excessively, cocktails can be a catalyst for all sorts of wonderful social interactions, including the sexy kind. I don’t claim to be a cocktail afficionado, but I do deem them worthy of some Sexy Sunday Thoughts on a morning when I’m sure some people could use both. Enjoy!

“Ideally, virgins should find someone who think being nervous during sex is hot.”

“Being sexually repressed is daring your body to get revenge on you at some point.”

“A casual friend is just someone you’re not eager to see naked.”

“Being a good listener is like being an informant to your genitals.”

“Making excuses is only as sexy as the gullibility and horniness of those listening.”

“If you still giggle when other people talk about sex, then chances are you’re not ready for it.”

“Is it possible that those who have a crush on their teachers just have a knowledge fetish?”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sleeping In Edition

Since high school, I’ve always been an early riser. It’s a habit, but not one I think is too unhealthy. It served me well during much of my adult life. An ability to get up at five a.m. every morning might not be a superpower, but it has some real benefits. It helps me get a lot done in the morning, including much of the work I do on this site and my YouTube channel.

Habit or not, I still try to sleep in every now and then. I see it as a form of necessary therapy. We all have hard days/hard weeks. I certainly have. Sometimes, you can’t just get out of bed at your usual time and carry yourself as though you’re just fine. You need to just lie there and get a few extra winks, even after the sun comes up.

If you’re lucky enough to have a lover, it can be both romantic and therapeutic. I know couples who treat sleeping in as their favorite sexy time. It makes sense too. At the end of the day, you’ve used up all your energy. You’re tired, groggy, and just want to rest. In the morning, if you’ve slept right, you have yourself a sexy opportunity.

I say embrace that opportunity, whether it’s sexy or just therapeutic. The summer is over and the days are getting shorter. That means sleeping in is a lot more feasible. Plus, even if you don’t have a lover to share it with, it’ll help 2020 go just a little bit faster. That makes it more than worthy of some Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!

“Your maturity is directly proportional to your ability to attend someone’s 69th birthday party with a straight face.”

“Your consumption of incest porn is likely to make family reunions feel awkward.”

“Sluts are essentially orgasm hoarders.”

“Curiosity killed the cat, but also inspired the first attempt at anal sex.”

“Alcohol is one of the few drugs that can inspire an equal number of marriages, divorces, and one-night stands.”

“A lovable idiot will always get laid more often than a smug genius.”

“It’s logistically impossible to be too thorough while making love.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts