Tag Archives: sexy humor

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Firefighters Edition

I’m a straight man. I don’t claim to understand the intricacies and complexities of what women find sexy. I’m not a mind-reader and I’m certainly no expert. I just write sexy stories and novels.

When it comes to why so many women find firefighters sexy, however, I get it. I get it as well as any straight man could. There’s a reason why firefighters are popular costumes among male strippers. There’s a reason why there’s a yearly calendar featuring sexy male fire fighters showing off the bodies they use to save lives.

It’s a perfectly valid reason, at that. I know firefighters. I see what they have to go through, working hard to stay in shape and training harder to deal with life-threatening situations. You have to have a certain level of toughness, grit, and dedication to do that job. You have to basically be a real-life hero, willing to put your life on the line to save others.

I don’t care who you are. That’s sexy as hell to anyone.

On top of that, firefighters in certain parts of America have had it a lot harder lately. This year has had a noticeable uptick in major fires throughout the country. They’ve had to work their share of overtime and endure harsher conditions than usual. For that, they deserve our respect as much as our lust.

If you feel compelled to do more than just thirst over firefighters, consider donating to a charity to help those who have paid the ultimate price to keep us safe. After that, check out these Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help fuel that proverbial thirst for these brave souls. Enjoy!


“Going to a church to get laid is like going to a brewery to get sober.”

Sexy nun in a cassock puts on stockings with lace, vicious desires. Corrupt  sister in the monastery, sinful religious people, attractive sinner — one,  holy - Stock Photo | #343643810

“If searching for love is like playing the stock market, then brothels constitute insider trading.”

Brothel or bust: Hard times at Nevada's bordellos

“Anyone who sleeps with their boss to get ahead is basically saying their resume is lacking.”

181 Boss Seducing His Employee Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images  - iStock

“An ugly man seducing a beautiful woman will never be as impressive as an ugly woman seducing a handsome man.”

Why Do Sexy Women Date Fat Guys?. Have you ever seen a Fat guy on a cover…  | by Sugardaddie.com | Medium

“Loving someone often requires a willingness to give them extra orgasms.”

How to Achieve a G-Spot Orgasm: A Couple's Sexy Guide to Ecstasy

“A quickie is basically the fast food of sex.”

Woman Eating Fast Food.slim Girl Stock Footage Video (100% Royalty-free)  9299963 | Shutterstock

“If scientists and engineers had the same sex appeal as rock stars, then we would have jet packs and flying cars by the end of the week.”

Kari Byron signed MYTHBUSTERS sexy scientist photo — Autographs Depot

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Fitness Cheat Day Edition

In general, I try to eat healthy. For most of the week, I will be careful and mindful of my diet. That usually means a healthy serving of eggs, wheat bread, rice, chicken, and other lean meats. Compared to how I ate in my 20s, that’s a huge shift. I’ve noted before that I did not have good health habits for a good chunk of my life. Eventually, I made a concerted effort to change that by regularly going to the gym and eating better.

That being said, you can still get away with a treat here and there. Even some of the biggest fitness junkies in the world have what they call a cheat day. The Rock particularly is legendary for his cheat days. Now, it is possible to overdo it. I know because I have overdone it and paid the price. However, there is one special kind of diet cheat I will never give up on.

For my cheat day, I always go with the simple greasy joy of pizza. For me, a weekend is just not complete without a good pizza. If I have someone to share it with, that’s even better. For the most part, though, I treat a good pizza like a massage for my soul at the end of a long week. It may not be good for you, but it’s a damn good feeling.

With football season coming in just a couple months, my weekend pizza is bound to get more meaningful soon enough. I usually coincide my cheat days with big football games because it just makes it all the more delicious. Even if you’re health conscious or a fitness junkie, I encourage you to take a cheat day and make pizza a part of that day.

I’ve loved pizza since I was a kid. I love it even more as an adult. When I eventually meet the love of my life, I hope to share a delicious pizza with them at least once week. Until then, I’ll continue to enjoy it as much as possible. I hope others can do the same today or whenever their cheat day might be.

Now, in the spirit of cheat days, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to rouse your appetite, your spirit, your loins, and everything in between. Enjoy!


“If foreplay is boring, then you’re doing it wrong.”

The best foreplay tips to try tonight | Her World Singapore

“To some extent, heartbreak is our brain’s revenge for listening to our genitals.”

Heartbreak: The Science Behind the Pain and How to Deal

“There’s a very good chance that you’ve almost walked in on two people having sex and not realized it.”

Mom Walks In On Son Having Sex With Her Brother's Wife: REDDIT

“A willingness to use sex toys while making love is the ultimate test of humility.”

Couple Friendly Sex Toys — life-remembrane.eu

“Trying to get pity sex is like trying to lose weight by crying every time you eat junk food.”

Woman Eating Fast Food.slim Girl Stock Footage Video (100% Royalty-free)  9299963 | Shutterstock

“Just imagine how confused and overwhelmed the first woman to use a vibrator must have been.”

How to use a vibrator for pleasure, alone or with a partner | Woman & Home

“No woman will ever understand what goes into maintaining an erection for extended periods.”

Want to hide unwanted erection? We tell you five ways - Times of India

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Summer Blockbuster Edition

Last year was the worst of all worst-case scenario for movie theaters. I even wrote about it a few times, speculating and even lamenting on the future of movie theaters and the movie industry, in general. There’s just no getting around it. Last year was the worst year ever for the movie industry. It was also a very jarring year in that we could not enjoy a typical summer blockbuster.

For me, that was both heartbreaking and deeply distressing. Even before the rise of the superhero movies that I’ve come to love, summer blockbusters were an integral part of what made summer great. I still have fond memories of going to the movies on a Saturday with my family and seeing whatever mindless spectacle that a studio spent way too much on.

They weren’t always deep or mind-blowing. They were just fun. That’s what a summer blockbuster is supposed to be. It’s big, flashy, cinematic fun for anyone willing to overpay for popcorn and candy. Even though I’ve come to enjoy watching new movies at home via HBO Max, I’m still very willing to spend my money at a movie theater.

After last year, I’ve only come to appreciate summer blockbusters even more. The release of “Black Widow” is as clear a sign as any that summer blockbusters are back. This time, I’m going to enjoy them even more than usual and I encourage everyone who enjoys a regular trip to the movies to do the same.

Now that the proverbial floodgates are opened, the time is right to celebrate the return of the summer blockbuster. To contribute to that celebration, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts. They may not inspire you to go to a movie theater, but I hope they still inspire you in other ways. Enjoy!


“What is a kink if not an individual’s shortcut to a good orgasm?”

OmgYes Website Will Show You How to Make Her Orgasm ​ | Men's Health

“You know you’re in love when your lips have willingly touched every inch of someone else’s body.”

20 Types Of Kisses + The Meaning Behind Each

“The quality of a school’s sex ed classes are often inversely proportional to the number of pregnant teenagers.”


“The popularity of incest porn is proof that some people should never be allowed to time travel.”

How are Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen related? Why the Game of Thrones  romance is (just a little bit) awkward

“Parents who refuse to talk to their children about sex are dooming them to a very awkward experience on their wedding night.”

Saving Sex for Marriage: What to Expect on Your Wedding Night

“Great sex can hide major flaws in a relationship, but it can also motivate two people into navigating those flaws.”

Wedding night blunders! 10 brides confess | Her World Singapore

“Good ideas can get you laid once, but great ideas can get you laid regularly.”

6 Foods for First Night to Get Passionate and Keep the Fire Burning

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Summer Grilling Edition

Every summer brings its share of unique activities that have equally unique sex appeal. It’s easy to single out beaches, bikinis, and heat waves that keep people from wearing much clothing. I certainly appreciate all those things and the inherent sexiness they bring. After last year, I like to think I appreciate them even more.

However, there is another underrated summer activity that can also have a unique sex appeal. It involves the inherent appeal of grilling delicious food. Now, that’s not to imply a particular food fetish. That’s an entirely different kink that I won’t get into. If you want to look into it, then by all means. Just remember to delete your browser history.

The kind of appeal I’m referring to has more to do with the unique flavors and settings that summer grilling offers. Growing up, I often went to family reunions or attended family gatherings that involves a great deal of grilling. The smells alone made those gatherings memorable. Just writing about it makes me hungry.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate the joys of grilling burgers, hot dogs, steaks, bacon, and pretty much anything you can throw on a griddle. It’s not just delicious. In the summer, it’s part of a communal activity.

People are drawn to delicious food for the same reason horny men are drawn to boobs. It’s an appeal not restricted to any gender. Regardless of which body parts you find appealing, you can still appreciate a good burger. You can also appreciate the inherent sexiness of watching someone eat a large hot dog.

This is a great time of year to get outside, fire up a grill, and cook up some classic summer meats. It might not get you laid, but it will get you and everyone around you some delicious food. What could be more fulfilling than that? If that doesn’t get you hungry, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help stir your appetite. Enjoy!


“To some extent, a sexual fantasy involves lying your way to a better orgasm.”

The 15 sex fantasies she craves | Muscle & Fitness

“Is it wrong to be suspicious of someone who owns a large leash and no dog?”

Meet The Man Who Walks His Fiancé On A Leash | YourTango

“Someone saying “Oops!” can precede their demise or someone else’s conception.”

This awkward couple are the living embodiment of #RelationshipGoals

“Power corrupts, but great sex motivates.”

PREMIUM Couple Making Love In Bed STOCK ASSETS | Adobe Stock

“You should never play poker with someone who is good at faking orgasms.”

6 Daily Habits That Affect Your Orgasm (& There's Bad News For Cheese  Lovers)

“Like it or not, there’s a chance that finding the love of your life involves getting or giving a great blowjob.”

Boyfriend, Husband Faking Orgasm | Glamour

“The fact that the threat of Hell doesn’t prevent religious people from masturbating proves the true power of orgasms.”

Premium Photo | Sexy devil concept. demon sexy girl with long hair. girl sexy  demon with wings, devil full of desire. woman on passionate face play role  game. lady sexy dressed as

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: 4th Of July 2021 Edition

Happy Birthday, America!

It’s that time of year again, but this time it’s more meaningful than usual. I know this year hasn’t been kind to the country I love. Between a global pandemic and an attempted insurrection, this has been a rough year for America. As an American, I’ve felt it. I’ve groaned, cringed, and lamented more than once this year.

At the same time, I remain hopeful.

As bad as the first part of this year has been, we can objectively say that things are better now than they were at this time last year. Thanks to a change in leadership, as well as the development of effective vaccines, America has been on a road to recovery. There’s still plenty of room for improvement, but we’re still progressing and that’s a good thing.

That’s very much in line with the story of America, itself. This country was founded on high ideals, but operated by flawed, misguided individuals. There’s no denying that we’ve made mistakes, as both a country and a society. Some were so bad that we had to fight a war over them. We should acknowledge that.

At the same time, we shouldn’t let those flaws and mistakes stop us from celebrating America’s highest ideals. Those ideals still matter. They’ve always mattered. They’ve been a driving force for generations of Americans, going all the way back to the founding. Let today be both a reminder and motivator.

We’ve come a long way, America. We still have so much further to go. For today, though, let’s celebrate the 4th of July as only Americans can. To get you into the patriotic spirit, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!


“Sometimes, sexual taboos end up being potent lubricants for elaborate kinks.”

How to Explore Kink Responsibly

“An impotent man with a skilled tongue can still satisfying many women.”

Man kissing woman on the neck | Goalcast

“A couple achieving simultaneous orgasm during sex was probably classified as the first miracle.”

How To Orgasm At The Same Time As Your Partner, According To An Expert

“When you think about it, dildos and toy guns have a lot in common.”

A peek into my toybox/dildo collection. Not all are BD and I'm happy to  answer where any are from!: BadDragon

“An arranged marriage a family’s way of telling someone they don’t trust them to use their genitals wisely.”

7 Things I Wish More People Understood About My Arranged Marriage | SELF

“There’s a good chance you know someone who put something weird up their butt at some point.”

4 Dating Sites for Kinky Couples | Hookup Land

“Premature ejaculation is nature’s way of telling a man he’s not ready for a threesome.”

Man and Two Women in Bed Together | things ive learnt along the way...

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Pride 2021 Edition

I hope everyone has been having a good Pride Month. In addition, I hope those who regularly whine about pride month and denigrate the ongoing challenges of the LGBTQ community have used this opportunity to either educate themselves or rightly fucked off. After what happened last year, I think we’ve all earned the right to be a little extra fabulous this time around.

I proudly support the LGBTQ community. I am a straight male, but I have friends and relatives who are LGBTQ. I’ve also known people who have struggled with their sexuality. It’s hard to overstate how difficult and damaging it can be. Even though there has been considerable progress over the past 20 years, many still face immense hardship.

There are still dozens of countries in which it’s illegal to be gay.

There are entire religious denominations that vehemently oppose basic human rights to LGBTQ individuals.

There’s an entire political party in America that actively seeks to roll back the progress the LGBTQ community has made.

The struggle is far from over and we should all remain vigilant moving forward. For now, though, let’s use Pride Month as a chance to celebrate how far we’ve come. Whether you identify as gay, queer, non-binary, or transgender, use this month to just celebrate who you are. I will gladly celebrate with you and so will many others.

In that spirit, here is a round of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts in honor of Pride Month 2021. Enjoy and keep being fabulous!


“Patience is a virtue, but only to a limited extent when you’re horny.”

4 Sex Positions For When You Are Tired But Horny | Relationships

“Logistically, giving and receiving oral sex requires good negotiating skills.”

Making a Guy Horny - Gossip123.com

“For better or worse, our tastes in porn will never be as revealing as our browser history.”

Facebook Kills Clickbait — How They Did It Will Shock You! EverSpark  Interactive

“Aspirin is to headaches what orgasms are to depression.”

7 reasons why women might not be able to orgasm | The Independent | The  Independent

“Like it or not, only a dominatrix finds weakness sexy.”

Meet the College Professor Who Moonlights as a Dominatrix

“To some extent, every repressive society tries to make people content with having boring sex lives.”

What To Do When You're Bored With Your Sex Life, According To Sexperts |  HuffPost Life

“Drunk sex isn’t much of an accomplishment, but a drunk threesome definitely is.”

Threesome App - 3nder App

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Father’s Day 2021 Edition

Being a parent is hard. I think most people can agree on that. I’m not a parent yet. One day, I hope I can be when I meet the right woman. In the meantime, I see what parents deal with. I’ve seen how difficult it can be to talk to a child, keep up with a child, and protect them in a world that just seems to get crazier with each passing day.

That just makes me appreciate my own parents even more. Honestly, I still don’t know how they managed, but I’m grateful they did. I always make it a point to celebrate how awesome my mother is on Mother’s Day. I try to make the same effort every Father’s Day, as well. It’s a day where I’ll make this same statement and belabor it to death.

My dad is awesome.

My dad is the absolute best.

My dad was, and still is, my first superhero.

I know that makes me very lucky. I know plenty of people who do not have a good relationship with their father. It affects them in profound ways. Having an awesome father like mine also has a profound impact, but in the best possible way.

For every hard lesson I’ve learned and every challenge I’ve overcome, I can trace the strength I needed back to my dad. He taught me how to work hard, do the right thing, and carry myself as good, decent man. For that, I will be forever grateful. To all the other awesome fathers out there, I hope you get to do something special for Father’s Day.

To all those grateful sons out there, like myself, make the extra effort for your dad. They’ve earned it. To that end, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help celebrate the awesome dads out there. After all, without sexy thoughts, we wouldn’t be here. Enjoy!


“Making love to a song runs the risk of getting horny every time you hear that song.”

Sensual Couple Making Love On Stock Footage Video (100% Royalty-free)  1041547480 | Shutterstock

“Inviting a necrophiliac to a funeral is risk to all those involved, including the corpse.”

Corpse Bride | Corpse bride costume, Halloween costumes makeup, Corpse bride

“You can tell how conflicted someone is about their sexuality by how cautiously they eat a hot dog.”

Hungry Woman Eating Hot Dog Enjoying The Taste Indoors With Sun Shining A  Close Up Shot On Red by revleha on Envato Elements

“Pity sex is a major reason why losers and whiners haven’t gone extinct.”

10 Reasons Why Nerdy Guys Make Better Boyfriends - 29Secrets

“Practically speaking, broken condoms have the opposite effect of faulty seatbelts.”

A woman holding a condom - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

“You don’t drive drunk for the same reason you don’t play truth or dare while you’re horny.”

85+ Sexy Truth Or Dares For Couples and Free Printable Bedroom Game | Love  Hope Adventure

“Making love when you’re not in the mood isn’t that different from eating a slice of cake when you’re not hungry.”

157 Cake Eating Sexy Woman Photos - Free & Royalty-Free Stock Photos from  Dreamstime

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Lifeguard Edition

Summer is finally here and unlike last year, we may actually get to enjoy it. I certainly have no intentions of taking it for granted this year. That means traveling, going out, and spending plenty of time at the beach or by the pool. However, a good chunk of those summer activities require the services of lifeguards.

Now, I don’t think I need to explain to anyone who was a teenager in the 90s why life guards have sex appeal. An entire generation grew up on watching “Baywatch.” Between Pamela Anderson’s breasts and David Hasselhoff’s chest hair, they know and appreciate the sex appeal.

Even generations before that had shows like “Charlie’s Angels.” While it wasn’t a show about lifeguards, the concept and the aesthetics are similar. You know what I mean by that. Don’t pretend otherwise.

However, lifeguards need extra appreciation this year and not just because last year was such a wash. As I write this, there is a nationwide lifeguard shortage. The pools and beaches are open. They want to open, but they lack the necessary lifeguard staff to stay open. It’s frustrating, but that just makes the inherent sex appeal of lifeguards even more prominent.

I know people who are lifeguards. I have family members who were lifeguards at one point in their lives. It’s a serious job that sometimes requires people to confront serious situations, all while wearing a swimsuit. That takes skill, focus, and a willingness to over-apply sunblock. They are the arbiters of summer fun and for that, they deserve our respect and our admiration.

Hopefully, the shortage this summer helps us appreciate the role of lifeguard even more. I also hope it encourages others to train for the job. It may require a few classes, but you get to wear a sexy swimsuit all day. I say that’s more than worth it. To those who seek and embrace this inherently sexy job, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts in your honor. Enjoy!


“Having a thing for women’s panties is like licking soup cans when you’re hungry.”

Buy Sexy Women Panties Underwear Cotton Plus Size Briefs Striped Women's  Underpants Soft Lingerie 1 Pc at affordable prices, price 2 USD — 📦free  shipping, ⭐real reviews with photos — Joom

“Outside a brothel, there’s no appropriate place to find a used condom.”

Vietnam police seize 345,000 used condoms that were sold as new - CNN

“In a traffic jam, the odds are good you’ve passed by someone getting oral sex while driving.”

Premium Photo | A young woman is indignant sitting in the car during a traffic  jam.

“Prostitution is one of the few professions that thrives in any economy.”

Kiev Prostitutes photos | IMAGO

“Chest hair on men is only as sexy as their personal hygiene allows.”

How to Trim Chest Hair | Men's Grooming Tips

“To some extent, a marriage proposal is telling someone that you love them so much that you’re willing to risk an ugly divorce.”

Marriage Proposal Ideas

“A slut becoming a prostitute is a classic example of someone playing to their strengths.”

Czech Republic: “For many prostitutes, social stigma is a bigger threat  than a slap in the face” – Kafkadesk

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Flexibility Edition

Being flexible in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, is generally a good thing. Being physically flexible can be useful too, but not nearly on the same scale. However, that scale changes considerably during sexy situations.

You don’t have to have too dirty a mind to know what I’m referring to. Regardless of your gender, you’ve probably thought about it any time you see someone bend their bodies in awkward ways. While it’s certainly an impressive feat, it’s how we put those skills into practice where things get really fun.

When I was in high school, I knew this girl who loved to show off how flexible she was. She could easily do a split like it was nothing. She could also lift her let up and put her foot behind her head while standing. She loved showing this off in gym class. She also got plenty of intrigued looks by boys. I suspect that’s why she did it.

I won’t speculate too much into the graphic possibilities. I’ll save that for my novels and my sexy short stories. I’ll just say that those who can be both mentally and physically flexible have an edge when it comes to their love life. If you have a dirty mind, you know why. If not, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get it going. Enjoy!


“The only line between BDSM and being a disciplinarian is the general horniness of those involved.”

Real Estate Broker Quits Her Job To Become A £500-Per-Hour Dominatrix -  LADbible

“Shaking someone’s hand implies you’re comfortable with how recently they’ve masturbated.”

Why do we shake hands in the first place? | wtsp.com

“In a world full of perverts, aren’t prudes technically the kinkiest?”

527 Fake Friends Background Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images

“The depth of a couples’ love is directly proportional to their willingness to fart in front of one another.”

Hilarious 'Happy Couple' Instagram Account Exposes Those Frauds Who Pretend  To Have The Perfect Life On Social Media - BroBible

“Practically speaking, the internet has rendered streaking obsolete.”

Streaking is outlawed in some parts of Australia, so here are 6 of the best

“When a man is horny, his dick is the most liberal part of his body in that it does not discriminate.”

Sexy couple laying on bed – Stockphoto

“Statistically, it’s very likely that man with a large penis will fall in love with a masochist.”

beautiful sexy couple. gorgeous blond woman and handsome man | Laura Kaye

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Memorial Day 2021 Edition

Around this time last year, we were heading into some of the worst parts of a global pandemic that had shut down entire countries. We were just starting to accept that things were not going back to normal anytime soon. The usual activities we’d come to love and take for granted just weren’t possible anymore. It was scary and depressing, indeed.

Memorial Day really hammered that home for me, personally. That’s because, for many years now, Memorial Day was when I scheduled my first vacation. That vacation usually involved spending time with my dad, who is a veteran. We go to the beach, we hang out, and we just partake in the traditional Memorial Day festivities that we’ve come to know and love.

We couldn’t do that last year. I couldn’t even see my dad for months on end. It was jarring and heartbreaking, to say the least.

This year, things are different. The pandemic isn’t completely over, but the end is so tantalizingly close. Pools are scheduled to open. Traditional Memorial Day events are still on and haven’t been cancelled. This gives me hope that this summer will be different. It also gives me hope that I can hang out with my dad again and honor this holiday, as we always have.

Even if you are not a veteran, this is holiday is more than just another day off. It doesn’t just mark the start of the summer, either. It’s a day in which we honor those who served their country, especially those who paid they ultimate price. I have people in my family who have served and fought in major wars. This is a day where I honor them and many others like them.

As part of that celebration, I dedicate this edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to all the veterans out there and those looking to celebrate a proper Memorial Day. After last year, we all need it. Enjoy!


“If trust is key, then those skilled in BDSM are basically locksmiths.”

The Ultimate Beginner's Guide to BDSM! | Couples Candy

“Power corrupts, but it also makes it easier to get laid, so it balances out.”

Sacha Baron Cohen Stars in 'The Dictator' - The New York Times

“In many respects, being blindfolded during sex is the ultimate test for your imagination.”

Blindfold Sex: 14 Sensual Ways to Use Blindfolds in Bed

“For men, being able to sustain an erection in front of someone they find ugly is a legitimate talent.”

Masterminds Photo Shoot Couple - Awkward Engagement Photos Funny

“History is written by both the winners and, by default, those who managed to get laid more effectively.”

Raquel Welch: 'I never wanted to wear fur bikini in One Million Years BC'

“A drinking contest has no real winners, but an orgy has no real losers.”

Hellfestcult on Twitter: "Sexy party ! Girls-Girls-Girls ! #klub  @Hellfest_cult… "

“Is it possible to have an ugly fetish without being a hypocrite?”

Sexy Zombie Girl with Fetish Gas Mask | 8th Annual Toronto Z… | Flickr

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