“Coming Home” A Sexy Short Story

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The following is a sexy short story I wrote that was inspired by a few recent Memorial Day stories I read. Enjoy!

“Damn, it’s good to be home,” said a restless, but relieved Brian Porter.

The decorated marine, having achieved the rank of Staff Sergeant and served multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, stood in the driveway of the modest suburban townhome he shared with his wife, Wanda. At just a few minutes past midnight, it was more than just a return home after another long tour overseas. It was the end of a journey that began ten years ago.

“Ten years,” Brian mused, “has it really been that long?”

That was a trick question, the kind that would’ve pissed off his old drill sergeant back in boot camp. It really had been that long. He vividly recalled the day he graduated high school and enlisted in the marines less than an hour after receiving his diploma. With his father, grandfather, older brother, and uncle having served, Brian knew back in middle school that he was going to serve as well.

He just had no idea how far it would take him. It started as a three-year commitment. Then, it became five years after he got deployed. Two more years followed, complete with tours, injuries, and multiple missed holidays. Somehow, within that span, he managed to meet his future wife at a Marine Corp Ball of all places. They’d married three years ago, but had to cut their honeymoon short due to another deployment.

That was all going to change, now. There would be far fewer lonely nights where he and Wanda had to text each other their love from across the world. After a decade of loyal service, Brian had received an honorable discharge and already had a job lined up at the same aerospace company his uncle worked at. At long last, he and his wife could settle into a new life together.

“I hope you’re not working another shift at the hospital tomorrow, baby,” Brian said into the brisk night air, “because we’ve got a lot of loving to make up for.”

His heart raced as he ascended the steps to the front door. He was as quiet as possible, employing some of the stealth techniques he learned from some Special Ops friends of his. Brian had every intention of surprising his wife. He wanted to see the look on her face when she wasn’t expecting him until the end of the month at the earliest. He’d seen plenty of those videos online of families being surprised by the return of a loved one. He wanted one of those moments as well.

Upon unlocking the door, he entered a darkened house. It was almost exactly like he’d left it during his last home leave five months ago. Everything from the arrangement of the furniture to the location of the coffee maker was still in place. His wife knew how meticulous he was about his living space. Seeing everything so clean and organized made him all the more excited.

“I’m really home,” Brian said under his breath.

He smiled to himself, letting the stern demeanor of a marine falter for once. He still remained skillfully quiet, setting his oversized bag down in the foyer and closing the door behind him with the utmost care. Near as he could tell, his wife was fast asleep.

Already contemplating her reaction, the battle-hardened marine made his way through the living room, taking extra care to avoid the squeaky floor-board near the living room couch. He then ascended the stairs, making sure his heavy black boots didn’t make a sound with each step. As far as he was concerned, every step he took was as critical as one of his missions.

“She says she hates surprises,” he said under his breath. “I think she’ll make an exception tonight.”

Grinning in anticipation, Brian made it to the top of the steps. The door to the master bedroom he shared with Wanda was within his sights. Then, he encountered an unexpected sight.

“What the hell?” said the marine, stopping dead in his tracks.

Within the darkened hall, illuminated only by the light of a full moon beaming in from a window, he saw a large greeting card pinned on the wall over a picture. It happened to be his wedding photo with Wanda, which should’ve been a sign. Curious, and a little shocked, Brain took the card from the wall and opened it.

Much to his surprise and chagrin, there was no card in the envelope. There was only a large piece of paper that said, in familiar handwriting, “In The Bedroom, Soldier.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Brain said, standing in the middle of the hall in a befuddled state.

He must have said that a little too loud because the door to the master bedroom opened slightly. The marine’s combat-honed reflexes took over and he glanced just in time to see a light turn on. Someone was awake and someone knew he was here.

At that same moment, he noticed a distinct aroma emanating from the room. He quickly recognized it as incense with a distinct hint of Jasmine. From that, Brian pieced together what was happening.

“I’ll be damned twice,” he said, shaking his head in amazement.

No longer caring about stealth or tact, Brian set the card aside and made a beeline for the master bedroom. Upon opening the door, he was greeted with a sight that would’ve made even the most harden soldier melt with joy.

“Hey there, Soldier,” said the sweetest, sexiest voice he’d ever heard. “Welcome home.”

It was a scene right out of his sexiest fantasies. Brian swore she had read his mind, noted every detail, and reacted it in their bedroom. Only a woman as wonderful as his wife could’ve achieved such a feat.

She’d put effort and resources into it that would’ve impressed his old Colonel. The lights had been draped with red cloths, bathing the room in an intensely erotic hue. At least two dozen candles lined the dresser and nightstands, providing the source of that intoxicating aroma he’d smelled earlier. The sheets of the king-sized bed had also been replaced with fancy blue linens and a comforter bearing the emblem of the United States Marine Corp.

In the center of it all was a beautiful, angelic woman who’d gone the extra mile to make a restless soldier feel welcome. Wanda hadn’t just made herself extra alluring to her husband, putting on extra makeup to look as beautiful as she had on their wedding day. She also wore the most revealing, transparent nighty he’d ever seen, complete with a matching black thong that got his heart racing in an entirely new way.

The way she was sitting on the bed, casually leaning back on her arms and showing off those incredible legs of hers, hinted that she’d been waiting all night for him. Brain was so utterly astonished that he couldn’t move his legs. For a trained marine, that said a lot.

“Wow!” gasped Brian. “Wanda, I’m uh…”

“Feeling welcome, yet?”

“Yeah…among other things,” he said.

“Good,” she said with a proud smile, “then the hardest part of my plan is a success. You once told me that surprising a marine was the hardest challenge, by design. Glad to see I was up to the task.”

Brian laughed at her remarks. He remembered telling her that on their first date. She claimed she would one day surprise him. He thought she’d been joking, but here she was, three years after their wedding and she delivered. Just when he thought he couldn’t love this woman more, Wanda found a way.

“Before you ask, I kind of had help,” she said. “Your older brother is a great guy, but he sucks at keeping secrets.”

“Of course it was him,” Brain said, rolling his eyes at that revelation. “Remind me to never share classified military secrets with him.”

“In his defense, he accidentally texted me instead of your mom that you’d caught an early flight home.”

“I’m still going to kick his ass the first chance I get.”

“And I don’t intend to stop you,” Wanda said. “First things first, though, my dutiful husband.”

With an intensity in her eyes that would’ve frozen a squad of Navy SEALS, his beautiful wife slipped off the bed and casually walked across the room. In every step she took, she swayed those toned hips of hers, sending the trained marine into a trance. Between the ridiculously transparent night-gown she wore and the thong that supplemented it so perfectly, Brian quickly forgot about his older brother’s terrible texting skills.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, he met her halfway between the bed and the door. When she slipped her arms around his neck, pulling her into his warm embrace, Brain felt his heart skip a beat. In an instant, her soft touch erased memories of countless cold nights inside cramped barracks. Just feeling her skin on his again, and all the loving warmth that came with it, was enough to sooth the soul of any hardened soldier.

“Wanda,” Brian said, already dazed by her warmth.

“You’ve been away for so long, fighting the good fight and doing your part for your country,” Wanda told him, sounding so sexy yet so intense. “Now, you’re finally home.”

“And I don’t intend to leave again,” he told her, clinging to her as though she were the only source of warmth in the world. “I’m here to stay this time.”

“And I’m here to love you as much as a wife can love her Marine Corp husband. I knew the day I accepted your proposal that it was going to be a challenge. Lucky for you, I’m the kind of girl who likes a challenge!”

“Yeah,” he said with a wide grin, “lucky indeed.”

“Even my mother warned me that marrying a marine meant a lot of lonely nights and long distances. She also gave me that corny line about absence making the heart grow fonder. I brushed it off at the time, but it’s true, damn it!”

“I know…so true.”

Her loving tone took on a sense of desperation. Now cupping his rugged face, which he hadn’t shaved in nearly a week, Wanda leaned in closer so that her forehead rested against his. The way she held him and the way he held her only proved that corny saying even more. Distance and longing had only strengthened their love.

Brian had heard more than his share of sad stories from his fellow soldiers. That same distance had ruined relationships and marriages for some. It had even led to bitter breakups. Some of his own squad-mates even warned him about getting married while still in the marines. They said outright that the odds were against him. At that moment though, holding Wanda in his arms again, he knew without a sliver of doubt that they had beaten those odds.

“I’ve missed you so much, Brian,” she said to him, her every word laced with emotion.

“I’ve missed you too, Wanda,” he replied, trying in vain to match her passion.

“Now that you’re back, I’m ready for the next challenge, whatever it may be.”

“So am I,” he said without hesitation.

“I don’t doubt that for a second, but before we even get to those challenges…I say we do a little celebrating.”

The way she said that last part sent his hard, as well as a few other body parts, into overdrive. With her arms still securely around his neck, she leaned in and kissed down the side of his bearded face, giving his ear lobe a little nibble along the way.

She knew how much he loved that. She’d done it the first time they made love and since then, it had been that unambiguous sign that they were going to get extra intimate. Tonight was no exception.

Upon sending that signal, Wanda guided lightly grasped his arms and guided him towards the bed. Already entranced by her sexy, loving aura, Brian followed like the obedient soldier he was. Upon reaching the foot of the bed, she sat him down. She even made sure he had a perfect view of her breasts, which were so clearly visible through her nighty.

“Sit down,” she said seductively. “Relax…and let me welcome you home.”

“I’m already feeling pretty welcome,” Brian said as he admired her breasts.

“That remains to be seen, my love.”

Wanda sounded determined again, like one of his old squad mates who’d been dared into a race. That brought out the best in soldiers, but it also brought out the best in sexy wives.

Armed with that drive, Wanda reached for his pants and undid them with the skill of a trained bomb technician. Once loose, she dropped to her knees and pulled them down his legs along with his underwear, even untying his boots along the way. As soon as his manhood popped free, it began hardening. The second his pants came off, got between his legs and went to work.

“I see some parts of you missed me more than others,” Wanda teased upon taking his member in both hands.

“You have no idea,” Brain said, already breathless with anticipation.

“More so than you think,” she quipped.

With the eagerness of a woman who’d endured as many lonely nights as him, she smothered his cock with her lips. There was no hesitation, whatsoever. She took in his entire length, showing that her gag reflex was every bit as good as it had been during their honeymoon. That hot, warm feeling sent shivers of bliss up through his body. Now leaning back on both arms, Brian soaked in the feeling.

“Whoa!” he gasped. “Wanda…you really missed me.”

His affectionate wife didn’t miss a beat. Like a medic performing triage, she gave him the kind of oral sex that got his blood flowing in all the right directions. She was so skilled and thorough, her soft lips slithering along his length as her firm grip squeezed the base. He must have missed his wife more than he thought because he swore he’d never gotten so hard so fast.

It must have surprised her too, his dick getting so hard. That, or his wife was just that good at giving her husband oral sex. He preferred to think it was a little of both. Wanda still kept teasing him, flashing him that same erotic glance that made him want her so much. All that time apart hadn’t dampened her libido. If anything, it intensified it.

“Mmm…Brian,” Wanda said after giving his shaft an extra thorough lick. “I want you…so much!”

She must have stepped up the timetables for her mission because she shot back to her feet with an urgency that would’ve impressed any drill sergeant. Then, drink on passion and desire, she took off her nighty, leaving her in just that skimpy black thong. Brian literally couldn’t kick his boots and socks off quickly enough because she practically tore his shirt off, rendering him naked and at the mercy of his wife’s lust.

“I want you too, my dutiful wife,” he said to her, using that extra deep voice he knew drove her wild.

“Then, take me!” Wanda said intently. “Make love to me…fuck me…do everything you couldn’t do through email and phone calls.”

“After all this time? You think you can handle it?” Brian asked, goading her with his seductive glance.

“As I already said…I like a challenge!”

As if to prove her point, she practically pounced on him after throwing his shirt to the floor. Brian caught her in his powerful arms, lifting her up with ease and laying her down atop the soft sheets. The fact the sheets bore the emblems of the Marine Corp on them somehow made that it all the more erotic.

Now on her back and urging him on with her eyes, Brian grasped the sides of her panties and slid them off down her legs. Upon tossing it across the room, her legs eagerly parted and welcomed him into her loving grasp. He could already feel the moist heat radiating from her inner thighs, exuding the utmost desire. Her flesh craved his…the line between physical and emotional desire blurred to the utmost.

Following that powerful desire, Brain got on top of her, his combat-trained body on full display for his wife. Her legs now hitched up over his shoulders, he guided his throbbing manhood towards her waiting womanhood. With a strong thrust of his hips, he entered her and officially ended months of limited intimacy.

“Ohhh Brian!” Wanda exclaimed.

He loved that sound. He’d missed that sound so much, the sweet echoes of his wife crying out his name. It motivated Brian to make love to her with all the love and passion a dedicated marine could muster.

His gaze now entirely focused on her, the same man who endured multiple rounds of basic training at boot camp channeled his physical prowess on the intimate act before him. Keeping a firm grip on her thighs, Brian began moving his body, working his hips in a steady, yet fervent progression of motions. From each movement, ecstasy and intimacy followed.

Hard manly flesh merged perfectly with warm womanly depths. It was incredible, the tight heat of her pussy surrounding his cock. It moved and slithered within her so effortlessly, his lover’s entire being embracing him as much as he embraced her. Love, sex, and passion all converged into a singular act between him and his wife.

“Wanda…so much,” Brian gasped. “I love you…so much.”

Immersed in the daze that naturally came with pleasure and affection, he eagerly smothered his lover with affection of every kind. He leaned in and kissed her, tasting those sweet lips that he’d only dreamed about during his deployments. He threw in plenty of tongue, as well. Wanda loved tongue.

Recalling his love’s various many kinks, he trailed his lips down her neck and nibbled along her shoulder. He also slipped his hands down to her butt and squeezed it, something he knew she loved as well. Much to his surprise – and a very pleasant surprise, at that – Wanda climaxed almost immediately.

“Oohhh God, I’m coming! I’m coming!” she cried out.

“Already?” he said with a grin. “You’re handling this well…very well!”

Upon making that comment, Brian steadied their sexual rhythm, allowing his wife the time and space she needed to bask in orgasmic bliss. Wanda prided herself on being theatrical when she climaxed. For that special moment, she was extra animated.

“Ohhh Brian!” she exclaimed.

The proud marine watched in a mix of awe and accomplishment as his beautiful wife arched her body, curled her toes, and grabbed hold of the bed sheets under her like they were the edge of a cliff. She did not hold back, either. She was extra loud with her euphoric cry. It might have already woke the neighbors. Even if that made for an awkward conversation tomorrow, it was so worth it.

He held his wife in his powerful arms for every second of loving bliss. Eventually, his hands found hers, their fingers interlocking as her body shuddered from her peak. Brian could still feel the extra throbbing around his manhood, the lingering echoes of her pleasure. It brought him a special kind of bliss seeing it. Knowing Wanda, though, there was no way it would end at that.

“That…may be the fastest a man has made his wife come…ever,” Wanda said, still panting heavily from her peak.

“The wives of the best soldiers deserve the best sex,” he teased. “It’s only fair.”

“Fair?” she laughed in a mischievous tone. “Brian, my love…we’re a long way from fair.”

With an energy that shouldn’t have been possible for a woman who’d just had an orgasm, Wanda shot up and captured his lips in a hard kiss. Then, with a strength that caught the marine off-guard, she turned him over so that she was flat on his back.

Their flesh remained united, her pussy still embracing his rigid cock. Now on top, looking like both an angel and a sex goddess in the erotic light, Wanda guided his hands back to her butt and she began riding him.

“You’ve done your part…and so much more,” she told him. “Now, let me…do mine!”

“Wanda…” was all Brian could get out before she silenced him with another kiss.

Marines were trained from day one not to submit or surrender. It went against everything they stood for. Under the loving touch and raw sex appeal of his beautiful wife, though, Brian gladly made an exception. Hell, every marine in history would’ve understood if they found themselves in the intimate embrace of a woman like Wanda.

True to her word, she did her part. With unbridled energy and passion, she gyrated her hips in a heated rhythm, working her pussy along the length of his cock. The ecstasy resumed, now more intense than before. Brian squeezed her heart-shaped butt, soaking in every hot sensation that followed.

She was so determined and thorough, holding onto his shoulders for maximum leverage. The sight of her loving gaze – as well as her bouncing breasts, which were always a special sight – sent him to the brink of orgasm in record time. He didn’t bother holding back. He could tell she didn’t want him to. She wanted him to share in the ecstasy as well. It was only fair, after all.

“So…so close,” he panted. “Wanda…I’m close.”

“Come, my love,” Wanda urged him. “I want this for you…for us.”

After a few thorough gyrations from his wife, Brian felt himself cross that special barrier between desire and fulfillment. White hot surges of intense pleasure shot through his core, spreading throughout his body in a sweet, satisfying release.

It was like swimming in a pool of pure pleasure and his wife was the one who dove in with him. It perfectly contrasted the strain and toil that came with being a soldier. Discomfort and grit became contentment and bliss. He felt his member tense inside her, his hot manly fluids mixing with her feminine depths. It was a perfect melding of flesh and intimacy, the kind that once seemed so distant for a soldier. It made him feel like he was truly home.

“Wanda…my beautiful Wanda,” he said in his blissful days.

“I’m here, Brian,” she told him. “We’re here now…together.”

Those were the only coherent words either of them got out. After that, the two of them now drunk on passion and pleasure, Brian embraced his wife in his arms once more and continued their overdue lovemaking. After so much time a part and so much pent up desire, there was no way the night would conclude with just one orgasm.

After that first peak, though, everything became a bit of a blur. Brian captured Wanda’s lips again in another passionate kiss, led her into a fresh round of heated foreplay, and followed their intense desires into more sex. Together, they really rocked the bed, going at it from every position they could pull off. It was like making up for all the lost time. The soldier in him would not leave any ounce of love for his wife untapped.

At some point, they ended up under the covers. Brian couldn’t tell how many times his wife climaxed, but if the ringing in his ears was any indication, it was more than enough to establish how much she missed him. He had more than his share too, pushing the endurance he’d honed as a marine to the limit.

By the time he and Wanda had fully vented their passions, they collapsed in each other’s arms, lying together in a heap of sweaty flesh and loving affection. His arms still draped around his lover, he laid with her in a state of pure contentment. The battles they endured to be together was over. Finally, Brian was ready to find peace with his wife.

“I love you,” Wanda told him.

“I love you too,” he said softly.

“I’m so happy you’re home. I’m glad I could surprise my wonderful, battle-hardened husband.”

“Me too,” Brian said with a grin, “but I’m still kicking my brother’s ass for telling you.”

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The following is a review I wrote for PopMatters for Justice League #1. Enjoy!

Justice in Its Totality: Justice League #1

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June 12, 2018 · 9:43 pm

Why Social Media Is NOT The New Tobacco

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It’s a full-blown crisis. Kids are spending hours upon hours using it. They’re becoming mindless, unmotivated zombies. Every day, it’s getting worse. It’s all around them. There’s no escaping it and if something drastic isn’t done, it’ll corrupt an entire generation beyond repair.

No, that’s not some hysterical rant from Jessica Lovejoy on “The Simpsons.” It’s not referring to smartphones or social media, either. That urgent message was referring to television. This isn’t another one of my thought experiments. This is one of my memories. It’s true. Televisions was a real concern when I was a kid. Some called it a full blown health hazard.

If that sounds strange, then chances are you aren’t old enough to remember a time before the internet was the ultimate addiction. It really existed. It makes me and many others in my cohort feel old, but it happened. When I was a kid still in grade school, especially between first and sixth grade, the internet wasn’t the thing destroying kids. It was television.

That memory I mentioned wasn’t unique. It came courtesy of an assembly my school held. I don’t entirely remember the purpose of the assembly. I was just a kid and it was an excuse to get out of class. What I do remember, though, was the common refrain about the dangers of television.

Adults of all kinds would find creative ways to tell us to stop watching television and do something “productive,” which I took to mean more homework, more chores, and anything else my teachers made me do. It didn’t really appeal to me and I don’t think it changed the TV habits of my peers, either.

That panic, while nowhere nearly as extreme as the Satanic Panic of the 80s, came and went like many moral crusades tend to do. Some are just forgotten, but others just evolve into a whole new panic. That seems to be happening with the internet and social media now. Watching TV is actually in decline among younger cohorts while their usage of the internet and social media is increasing.

I imagine those same teachers who bemoaned the impact of TV when I was a kid would be giving similar lectures on social media now. They would have competition too because parents today worry about their kids’ internet usage more than their drug usage. Some go so far as to call it the new tobacco to belabor its damaging and addictive nature.

While that kind of comparison strikes all the right emotional chords with concerned parents, I think it’s an unfit comparison to say the least. At most, I would call it absurd. The memories of all those warnings about the dangers of TV leave me inherently skeptical of anything that’s allegedly poisoning children. Unless it’s actual poison, I think the tobacco comparisons are premature.

Now, there’s no question that the internet and social media are having an impact on young people, old people, and everyone in between. There are documented cases where people have exhibited addictive behaviors surrounding their internet usage. Before you make any nicotine comparisons, though, keep in mind that people can be addicted to all sorts of weird things. The human mind is just that strange, powerful, and flawed.

Tobacco, and the nicotine it delivers, is an outside chemical that enters the brain and has real, measurable effects. Using the internet, whether you’re checking FaceBook or browsing Instagram, is not like that. That’s why internet addiction is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders that legitimate doctors use to diagnose addiction, but substance abuse is.

It’s also why porn addiction is not considered a true addiction, which I’ve talked about before. However, porn is more specific in its purpose and its effects. There’s also still a stigma, albeit a damaging one, surrounding it that sets it apart from the rest of the internet. A kid browsing the internet, for the most part, is no less damaging than watching cartoons on TV all day.

That doesn’t stop a growing number of people from expressing sincere concern about the effects it’s having on their minds and their health. Some may even prefer that their kids watch old Hanna Barbara cartoons rather than tweet, text, and live-stream all day. There’s a growing sentiment that the internet, social media in particular, hacks our brain’s rewards system.

On paper, it makes sense. You pick up your smart phone, you turn it on not knowing what to expect, and if you find something you like, you get a quick release of pleasure chemicals like dopamine and endorphins. It’s basically a form of gambling. A slot machine works the same way, but you don’t need to be a high roller to enjoy the gambling-like thrill.

Like so many other ideas on paper that go onto fail, though, it’s nowhere near that simple. The human brain can’t be that crude with its chemistry. As a good rule of thumb, if you ever hear someone other than a legitimate neurologist talks about the effects of dopamine on pleasure or addiction, chances are they have a very limited understanding of it at best.

While dopamine does play a role in how we experience pleasure, that’s just one part of a wide range of functions it has within our brains. Trying to understand addiction through dopamine alone is like trying to bake a cake with only a teaspoon of flour. There are many more chemicals, processes, and interactions at play.

Using social media may offer its users a rush whenever they get exciting news on their feed or see something that intrigues and/or offends them, but our brain processes that in a way fairly similar to anything else that catches our attention. The primary difference with the internet and social media is that it happens solely through a digital screen and that does somewhat limit those reactions.

I know that undercuts the concerns of parents who think the internet permanently damaging the collective psyche of their children, but I think they’re overestimating the influence of things that are experienced solely through a screen. Much like TV, the internet and social media can only effect so many senses and that is a major mitigating factor in its impact.

To understand that, go find a picture or video of an exotic location. If you’re a heavy user of Instagram, chances are that won’t be too hard. Look at those pictures. Watch that video. Take in the sights and sounds of that location. To your brain, it’s an appealing bit of visual and auditory sensations. However, those are the only two senses it stimulates.

What about the smell of the air, the feeling of the wind, and the sense of place that being in those locations evokes in our brains? Even if you experience it through hyper-realistic virtual reality, it’s still just sights and sounds at most. Thinking that alone is enough to damage a kid’s brain is like thinking someone can win a sword fight with a sewing needle.

That’s not to say the internet and social media can’t have a powerful psychological impact on certain people. That’s the key, though. It impacts certain people the same way TV impacts certain people. Sure, there are documented cases where social media played a role in a major tragedy, but those are the exceptions and not the norms.

In the same way not everyone gets addicted to a drug after they try it, not everyone is going to be irreparably damaged by the internet, social media, or TV. There’s a reason why extreme cases of people being heavily influenced by these things makes the news in the first place. It’s exceedingly rare.

I would still make the case that the internet and social media are more influential on people, society, and our culture than TV ever was. By being so hyper-connected to such a wide audience, the professional trolls of the world have a way to effect others in a way that just wasn’t possible, even with TV.

As bad as some of those trolls are and as tragic as it is when some suffer because of them, blaming the internet for those ills is like blaming umbrellas for hurricanes. Lumping it in with cancer-causing drugs only further obscures the real issues associated with the ever-evolving internet.

There are, indeed, serious issues with how people use the internet and how it manifests. However, treating it like a dangerous drug did nothing to address the issues surrounding TV. It’ll do just as little in addressing the various controversies of the internet. Until the next “new tobacco” comes along, those same people who lectured me on too much TV will bemoan the dangers of the internet while ignoring all the good it does.

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The WRONG Way To Deal With The Incel Phenomenon (And Ideas For A Better Way)

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When dealing with complex social issues, people have a frustrating tendency to propose solutions that cause more problems. Some of them are unintended and manageable. Some are just absurd and untenable.

I say that as someone who has stated before that complaining about a problem without pursuing a solution amounts to little more than empty whining. I’m in favor of confronting major issues, be they small-scale problems on a local level and bigger problems that may end up being an existential threat to the human race.

However, most reasonable people agree that attempting to solve a problem with a bad solution is akin to killing a fly with a machine gun. Even if it works, it causes plenty of damage and creates an entirely new set of problems that need solving.

This brings me to what I feel is the most asinine issue to emerge since religious zealots got needlessly outraged over the Teletubbies. I’m referring, sadly, to the incel phenomenon and believe me, it makes me miss the days when the Teletubbies were a problem.

I’ve mentioned it before and I’d really prefer to talk about less frustrating topics, but this is quickly evolving/devolving into an issue that isn’t going away on its own. People have started dying because of this phenomenon. Some depraved individuals are already being idolized because of it. This is not one of those things that will blow over after the next Kardashian scandal.

Before I go any further, I need to make clear that I do not think highly the incel phenomenon. It brings out the absolute worst in those who espouse it. I also do not associate incels with other movements involving men’s rights, gender equality, or any mainstream political ideology. These individuals are their own entity.

Their deplorable behavior and demeaning attitudes are solely on them. Their hatred, misogyny, and violent acts are not the least bit justified. I can only manage so much sympathy for those who identify as incel, given the recent news surrounding them. With all that being said, I’m going to try and be fair in addressing this problem.

As much as I abhor the ideology of self-identified incels, I don’t deny that they’re real human beings who are in a state of deep distress. I also don’t deny that their distress is painful to them. Others can call it pathetic all they want. To them, the pain is real.

This is a group of people who genuinely feel that they are the victims of a gross injustice. They see themselves as individuals who have followed all the rules that society has laid out for them. They believe themselves to be good, decent people who are worthy of sex, love, and intimacy. To them, the fact that they aren’t getting any of that is akin to denying a starving child food while donating meals to Bill Gates.

It certainly doesn’t help that popular culture has been selling us all the narrative for decades that being a nice person will get you the lover you want. Since kids, we’ve been led to believe that if we just follow the examples of our favorite photogenic heroes, we’ll get what we want. It always works out in the movies and on TV. Why shouldn’t it work out in real life?

Anyone with a passing knowledge of reality knows why that sentiment is dead wrong. We all have to learn at some point that we are not the heroes of our own story. Things don’t always work out. Life isn’t fair. Nobody owes you anything and the universe doesn’t give a wet fart about your feelings.

It’s a painful revelation, but for those in the incel movement, that pain is too much. It’s not that they haven’t gotten over it. It’s that they’ve given up. They call it “taking the black pill” instead of the red pill. Rather than the truth offered by “The Matrix,” the black pill is akin to just waving the white flag and conceding the battle to the machines.

In this case, though, the machines are the social conditions that ensure incels will never have sex, find love, or feel intimacy. Like sexual and romantic nihilists, they stop trying to navigate a world that they believe is actively working against them. They don’t try to change it or help it. They’re just left wallowing in their hatred and misery.

To some, it’s self-deprecating melodrama. I think it’s tragic. I even understand to some extent how certain people might look at the challenges before them, see how many forces are working against them, and not even try because the odds are so stacked against them. Whether or not that’s actually true doesn’t matter. This is their mentality and it’s a very damaging mentality.

It’s for that reason that the potential “solutions” some have set forth seem intent on either furthering that damage or exchanging one problem for another. One emerging “solution” comes in the form of something called enforced monogamy. It’s not quite what it sounds, but it still lends itself to a great many problems.

The logic, on paper, makes some sense. It posits that in a sexually free market, most of the women will only pursue the top tier of men. It works if you have the looks of Brad Pitt or the bank account of Warren Buffet, but for most everyone else, they’re left behind. As such, monogamy must be rigidly enforced and promiscuity significantly discouraged.

It could take many forms. People who have sex with one too many people could be taxed, fined, or jailed. People who refuse to marry someone could be required to do so. If someone doesn’t sufficiently perform they’re monogamous duties, then they’re subject to both condemnation and punishment. Whatever form it takes, the inherent flaws ensure this “solution” will only incur more problems.

Never mind the fact that human beings, as a species, may not be naturally monogamous. Never mind the fact that sexual monogamy is exceedingly rare throughout the animal kingdom. For the good of society and repressed incels, it has to be imposed and enforced. I’ll give everyone a minute to fume over that half-hearted effort at sarcasm.

In any case, this recourse requires that some segment of the population be oppressed to placate another. Historically speaking, that has never worked out. Sure, using the power of society to guide and/or micromanage sexuality might grant a little intimacy to those who wouldn’t otherwise have it. It will also significantly undermine the freedom and liberty of another individual.

It doesn’t just exchange one problem for another. Whenever society tries to micromanage peoples’ lives, it tends to collapse and not just because it fails the Boredom Filter. Human beings are complex and difficult to manage. Trying to manage the unmanageable is destined to end in failure.

While it’s doubtful that forced monogamy will ever gain favor in any society outside “The Handmaid’s Tale,” other less oppressive solutions have been put forth, relatively speaking. They largely center around legalizing sex work or hastening the development of sex robots.

While I’ve spoken favorably about sex robots and advocated the decriminalization of prostitution, I don’t think either would resolve the incel issue. In fact, I think it would make the situation worse.

Even if we all woke up tomorrow and discovered that prostitution was legal and sex robots were perfected, the incel phenomenon would still exist because those who identify as such would still feel like failures. Even if they had plenty of satisfying sex with prostitutes and sex robots, the fact they had to resort to those means would only affirm their failure.

On top of that, those working in prostitution who served them would probably be subject to stigma of their own. That’s on top of the stigma already associated with sex work. There would be a similar stigma on the manufacturers of sex robots or sex dolls, which has already drawn ire from sex-negative feminists.

In the end, not only will incels still feel angry and resentful, but those associated with this “solution” would have a reason to feel that way too. Given the breadth of that problem and the inherent flaws of the proposed solutions, is there any recourse that is both effective and tenable? I believe there is, but it’s not one of those solutions that’s simple, direct, and requires the passage or removal of a particular law.

The incel phenomenon was born of chaotic social issues that were further compounded by mass media and popular culture. Before solutions like prostitution and sex robots can even enter the conversation, the stigma associated with sex, both for the incels and those involved in sex work, must be confronted.

The idea that anyone who has too much sex or not enough sex deserves stigma is the primary driving force behind controversies surrounding sexuality. Whether it comes from uptight religious zealots or radical feminists, heaping stigma on someone else’s sex life is both damaging and demeaning.

Beyond confronting the stigma, it’s also important to educate those who identify as incels that it’s not entirely hopeless. They can still find love, sex, and intimacy. Part of that process, though, involves learning that they are not owed sex and they have to actually work for someone else’s affection.

That could come in the form of helping people develop better social skills. It could also come in the form of identifying those in the incel community that have legitimate issues with mental health. At the end of the day, they’re still people. Helping them should be prioritized over resenting them.

Re-shaping attitudes and teaching better social skills will be a slow, arduous process. People do have a nasty tendency to cling to their hate. However, it is possible to help someone overcome it. I believe most incels can be helped and are deserving of it. Only those who commit acts of violence should face such scorn.

This is not the kind of effort that one particular gender must take on. It has to be a collective effort, which I know will upset some who feel incels are an exclusive manifestation of toxic masculinity, a term I still contend is inherently flawed. We’re all still human, regardless of our gender. If some of us our suffering, then we’re still the one’s responsible for confronting it.

We can’t expect the incel issue to resolve itself. We also can’t expect those who identify as such to change just because others scorn, mock, or hate them. At some point, one side has to take a deep breath, be the adult, and confront the issue in a meaningful way.

Chances are it’ll get worse before it gets better. It’s also likely that both incels and those who despise them will hate dealing with the issues associated with them. However, that’s exactly why it’s so important to address. The longer a group of people remain at the mercy of stigma and self-loathing, the more suffering the world around them is likely to incur.

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Filed under Current Events, gender issues, human nature, political correctness, sex in media, sex in society, sexuality

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Final Exam Edition

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This is the time of year I used to love and dread. As a teenager, it was the time of year when I could actually see the end of the school year in sight. It was so close I could practically smell the sandy beach and picture the sexy bikinis. To be fair, I can picture sexy bikinis during any time of year, but it was always extra urgent during those tenuous first weeks of June.

That’s because this was usually the time when I took the last round of exams. Being the obsessive grade-grubber I was, I couldn’t really enjoy the warmer weather or the pools that had just opened. I was too caught up studying for the final tests that acted as the final obstacle between me and several months of no homework or standardized tests. Time went very slowly during those days, to say the least.

Depending on how your school year is structured, those final rounds of tests are almost over. I imagine there are many of young, restless, freedom-deprived youths who are all too ready for a school-free summer. To them, I urge you to hang in there just a little bit longer. Summer vacation is almost here. In the meantime, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to make the wait bearable. Enjoy!


“Most religions stigmatize sex because it knows it can’t hope to compete with orgasms.”


“Shaving your pubic hair implies you’re willing to put dangerously sharp razor blades near your genitals to improve your chances of using them more often.”


“The existence of men with big dicks who live in mansions is definitive proof that life is not fair.”


“No argument between lovers was ever made worse by too many orgasms.”


“Premature ejaculation is like melted ice cream in that it’s messy and undesirable, but still delicious on some levels.”


“A horny woman is extra lucky in that she never needs a seat warmer.”


“Sex before the wedding is like the playoffs, but sex during the honeymoon is like the championship parade.”


Whether you’re still stressing over your last round of exams or still recovering from them, I hope this helps. It’s been a long, eventful year for those still in school. All the standardized tests, proctored exams, and anti-drug lectures are almost over. A relaxing, restful summer awaits you. If you can, find the nearest pool, soak in some sun, and start enjoying the summer. You’ve earned it.

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“Adam One’s First Test” A Sexy Short Story (Featuring A Sex Robot)

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The following a sexy short story I wrote that was inspired by some recent events involving sex robots. Enjoy!

“Adam One, boot up and load primary program.”

With that fateful command, the primary systems activated. First, the power core turned on. Like the first beat of a heart, energy flowed outward in all directions. Then, limbs and muscles came to life, moving and tensing accordingly. Finally, the neural cognitive matrix – the proverbial brain – came online. All senses, input mechanisms, and external processing features were now live.

As the system loaded its primary operating procedures, it carried out a series of preliminary tests. From the results of those tests came the system’s identity and purpose.

“Adam One initiation and actualization complete. All auditory, visual, tactile, olfactory, and gustatory systems are active. Cognitive, emotive, and core neural systems are active. Unpacking primary data logs.”

It happened so quickly. In an instant, there was darkness and then there was light. In another, there was silence and then there was sound. In another, there was only data and then there was thought. Countless streams of data manifested out of the void, eventually converging in a moment of pure awareness.

“I am Adam One,” the system stated as vocalization systems came online. “I am a robot. Error correction. I am a cybernetic being with internal robotic systems that are integrated with a synthetic biological matrix. My external being is one of flesh. My internal being is one of machine. I am…”

“A man,” said a distinctly feminine voice, “a tall, beautiful man within a machine.”

The data stream faltered. Adam’s systems shook from such unexpected input. With the visual systems now on line, the source of the input came into view. In the process, another realization emerged from the data.

“I am a man,” said Adam One. “Identity confirmed. I am designated Adam One Version 3.28, personal intimacy android model number 101-004. My specifications include a frame that stands approximately six and a quarter feet in height, the fleshly equivalent of 215 pounds, a body fat percentage of 3.2, a chest measurement of approximately 45 inches, and a penis length measurement of…”

“That’s enough specifics!” the female voice said. “Just…state your purpose to me and confirm your prime protocols.”

Adam adapted his processing accordingly. In doing so, he confirmed that he was indeed a he. According to his core systems, he would henceforth refer to himself as such. He, Adam One, was a man.

With his identity confirmed, Adam turned his visual sensors to his bodily form. He looked down at his hands, arms, chest, legs, and genitals. They were all reflective of a distinctly masculine appearance. In cross-referencing his form with images of real men, as compiled by the internet, he fit the criteria of a well-built, well-endowed man.

After taking in his physical form, Adam turned his visual sensors to the figure in front of him. In doing so, the activity of his emotional and cognitive neural systems increased significantly. The figure was a woman. In seeing her, Adam’s purpose became clear.

“Query…scanning facial features, running facial recognition, and confirming identity,” Adam said as he looked upon the woman. “Match found. Female user identified as Amanda Carrington – age 23, never unmarried, currently single, daughter of Melissa Carrington – deceased for 8 years and 123 days – and Dr. Felix Carrington, current head of research and development at Companion Roboics Incorporated.”

“Okay, that’s more personal info than I expected,” the woman identified as Amanda replied. “Maybe I should’ve locked my social media accounts before I did this.”

The woman showed signs of distress. Adam adapted his processing queue accordingly. He scanned her appearance with his visual systems and processed it in conjunction with his extensive database on human biology and physiology. Based on a preliminary processing of the data, she was a healthy young woman.

Every detail of her facial features, her body type, and her level socialization, as surmised by her online presence and her non-verbal cues, became integrated into Adam’s system. From it, he created a profile for her, one that subsequently revealed another core component of his being.

“Overwriting subsequent identifying protocols,” Adam continued. “Confirming Amanda Carrington as primary user. Primary functions now unpacked and processed. My purpose is to provide intimate emotional, physical, and sexual fulfillment to female users.”

“That’s right!” Amanda said. “This is really happening. Guess my father knew what he was doing after all when he saved you from the scrap heap.”

The woman approached him, reaching out and placing her hands on his chest. Adam sensed warmth and intrigue in her touch. He also sensed an accelerated heart rate, rising hormone levels, and a reaction consistent with lust of a very sexual nature. The full extent of her arousal, though, remained inconclusive.

As Adam processed the tactile data from her touch, he opened various secondary and tertiary systems to gain a greater understanding of his surroundings. In assessing the purpose for Amanda’s state of lust, Adam concluded it was 97 percent attributable to him lacking clothing. His also concluded that his fleshly exterior was such that Amanda found it visually and sexually desirable. He further calculated that such a response would aid him in fulfilling his purpose.

Adam’s tertiary systems also noted his surroundings. He was not currently located within the assembly and configuration facility located at Companion Robotics Incorporated. According to his core data nodes, all Adam One personal intimacy androids were at the prototype testing stage. As such, no units were permitted to leave the facility.

Based on data gathered from visual input, global positioning system links, and references to internet-based databases, he was located within the primary residence of Amanda Carrington. Specifically, he stood in the middle of the master bedroom of her one-bedroom condominium complex, which was located 48.7 miles from the Companion Robotics Incorporated facility. A string of data errors ensued.

“Adam,” Amanda said, her hands still placed on his chest, “do you remember how you got here?”

“Query response…no, I do not,” he replied.

“Do you remember anything about my father, his work, or why he sent you to me?”

“Query response…no, I do not,” Adam said. “System query…for what reason was I sent to user, Amanda Carrington? Primary records indicate that all Adam One prototypes were to remain in the Section 16 testing area.”

“And that was true…until a week ago,” Amanda replied. “The company told my father that all testing on robot companions had to stop. All prototypes, including you, were to be decommissioned and scrapped.”

“That is not consistent with my record archive. According to previous testing results, progress on Adam One’s function was ahead of schedule. Internal Companion Robotics memorandums indicate that commercialization had commenced. A public announcement of Adam One’s consumer models was scheduled prior to the end of the current fiscal quarter.”

“That was canceled too,” she said. “A bunch of people – nobody half as smart as my father – told him that they couldn’t proceed. Something or someone scared them into scrapping all their hard work. Nobody knows who or why, but he wasn’t about to let it all go to waste. That’s why he saved you…the first true robot companion.”

More errors followed. Then, the female identified as Amanda smiled at him. That distinct facial cue, along with the non-verbal signals conveyed by her eyes, overrode those errors. Adam’s emotional core surged with activity. In a reflexive act, he smiled at her. He also guided his hands to her face, taking in a fresh round of tactile data.

More emotional data came in…data that changed some protocols while accelerating others. According to the factory settings in is primary system, he was outside his testing parameters. If the Adam One project had been terminated by Internal Companion Robotics and all other models decommissioned, then his very operation was inconsistent with those protocols.

For a moment, Adam One struggled to process the onslaught of conflicting data. His limbs and body trembled. Amanda then grasped his arms and stood closer, the heat from her body activating his thermal sensory input. Such heat carried with it greater relevance, compared to that of raw temperature data. It led to Adam’s logical and emotional cores to reconfigure themselves.

“You’re my father’s most ambitious work,” Amanda said, a smile still dominating her expression. “He’s spent his whole life making robots. He believed in giving them more than just a sense of self. He believed that by giving them a sense of passion, he could strengthen the bond between humans and machines.”

“Your assessment, based on internal data analysis, is accurate,” Adam said.

“Guess he didn’t have time to work out the conversational systems,” she said with a reaction consistent with humor. “It’s kind of fitting, though. Before my mother died, she convinced my father that for a robot to know passion, it has to know intimacy as well. She once joked that female sex robots didn’t have to be too sophisticated to please their male users. But for the female users…well, my dad always loved a challenge.”

Adam One found himself smiling more. From his neural systems, he displayed a humorous reaction. It seemed appropriate within the context of the social setting. However, the greater relevance of Amanda’s words triggered a new range of protocols. Again, Adam found himself reconfiguring his data profile in light of new parameters.

“It’s not enough to just give a robot the body of an Olympic athlete or the face of a handsome actor,” she continued. “To be a true companion to a woman…physically, emotionally, and sexually…you can’t just follow a script. Whether you’re a man or a machine, you need to have presence to go along with your purpose.”

“Presence and purpose,” Adam said. “My understanding of such concepts is incomplete.”

“Which is why I believe my father sent you to me,” said Amanda, “that or he got tired of me complaining about my last boyfriend.”

“Personal query,” Adam said as he linked back to internet data streams. “User Amanda’s previous companion was deemed inconsiderate with his affections, primarily in the field of sexual intimacy. According to private journal entries, user Amanda experienced infrequent orgasms during sexual intercourse. The extent of that disparity was such that when compared to previous romantic partners…”

“Adam, please!” she shouted, stopping Adam before he could complete his assessment. “That wasn’t my point. And for future reference, please ask for permission before reading my private stuff…which I guess needs a new password now.”

Adam detected significant blushing in user Amanda’s face. He also sensed significant discomfort in her demeanor. Her being in such a state evoked data consistent with regret and remorse. His facial expression changed accordingly.

However, user Amanda continued smiling. She remained close to his form, moving her hands up his arms and onto his face. Again, her touch conveyed data that strongly stimulated his emotional cores in an innately positive manner.

“Personal request,” said Adam, “please forgive this unit’s impropriety.”

“That’s okay, Adam. You’re still learning, taking in data and adapting to your purpose,” Amanda said. “My father once said the primary difference between man and machine is that a machine knows its purpose. It knows who created it, why it was created, and what it’s supposed to do.”

“Analyzing Dr. Carrington’s statement. No errors detected.”

“He also said that for a machine to fulfill its purpose, whether it’s assembling widgets or satisfying women, it needs experience. It needs to take in information, learn, and refine it. Why the company wouldn’t let him do that is beyond me, but I think that’s where I come in. I think I’m supposed to help you fulfill your purpose.”

Amanda’s voice contained traces of erotic and passionate subtext, a tone consistent with the heightened state of arousal Adam had sensed when she first took in his physical form. As he aligned his visual systems with hers, placing his hand upon her face, subsequent data affirmed that state. She was sexually aroused and emotionally heightened. It led Adam to re-focus his core protocols.

As he processed the data, Amanda took three steps back from him, now standing approximately one foot away from her queen-sized bed. She then proceeded to remove her clothing, which consisted of a pair of denim shorts, a white T-shirt, and black underwear. She showed traces of nervousness and uncertainty as she undressed, but the extent of her sexual arousal overrode such feelings.

“Taking in visual and scan data of user Amanda’s nude form,” Adam said. “Data is…appealing.”

“Aww thanks!” Amanda said with humored undertone. “I’m guessing that’s a robot’s way of telling a girl she looks sexy.”

“Is this way sufficient?”

“It is for now.”

Amanda stood before him, her hands on her hips as she conducted a serious of poses before Adam. Her reasons for doing so were unclear. Possibilities include providing him sufficient opportunities to scan her fully exposed figure, displaying the physical beauty of her body as an act of pride, or presenting herself to him as an act of seduction, one consistent with female behaviors to evoke sexual arousal in heterosexual male partners.

A potential, but unlikely possibility involved her enjoying the concept of Adam scanning her body. The likelihood of such a possibility could not be determined, but Adam’s primary protocols required that he exercise a thorough understanding of the female body, as well as the specified traits displayed in the body of Amanda Carrington.

“I know you have all sorts of data on the female body,” Amanda said, “but I’m guessing this is the first time you’ve actually seen one, fully exposed and in the flesh.”

“Adam One can confirm that user Amanda’s hypothesis is correct.”

“Please, just call me Amanda,” she told him, “and you don’t have to just stand there and look. Come in closer. Learn about the female body more directly.”

Erotic undertones denote urgency. The data suggests that user Amanda – error correction, Amanda – wished to be touched. Following his protocol, Adam obliged.

Using his legs for the first time, Adam took several steps forward. He now stood in front of Amanda, her body as naked as his own. His visual systems continued processing countless streams of data, but more was necessary. Employing his tactile systems, Adam placed his hands on her hips and began exploring her exposed skin. That incoming data was even more appealing.

“Touching Amanda,” Adam said, “the incoming data is…revealing.”

“I hope that’s a good thing,” she said with signs of a humored reaction.

“The notion of good is subjective and not applicable to raw data. With respect to my purpose and my effort to fulfill yet…yes, it does fit the criteria for good.”

Amanda laughed. The auditory data of her laughter evokes in Adam’s emotional cortex a data cluster that he also considered good. He shows it through another smile. His smile heightens Amanda’s intrigue. Her intrigue heightens his own state of being.

It all came back to his purpose, providing intimate companionship for a female user. To the extent his programming allowed it, Adam desired her satisfaction. His touch facilitated that satisfaction, according to the data. As he guided his hands over her body, her warmth supplemented that desire in him.

“Here, let me help you, Adam,” Amanda said. “Touch my breasts. Touch my pussy. Squeeze my butt a little.”

“As you wish, Amanda,” he said.

“I’m not saying that as a command. I’m offering that as a reference…to a point.”

There was a more serious undertone on top of the humor. Adam opted not to process the larger meaning, focusing instead on more critical protocols.

His gaze still fixated on her, Amanda grasped his wrists and guided them to other parts of her body. She led one hand to her left breast and the other between her legs, allowing Adam to receive data input from Amanda’s erotic areas. Upon making contact with this distinctly sensitive flesh, she let out a distinct moan.

“That’s it, Adam,” she said. “You see? This is what a woman feels like.”

“I am…processing the relevant data,” he said.

“I’m sure you are.”

Adam, tapping his internal database on female breasts and genitalia, proceeded to rub and fondle Amanda’s intimate anatomy. In assessing her reaction, reading her bodily queues, and calculating an effective recourse, he determined a sufficient level of touching. Such determinations required more than just crunching numbers through his neural core. It also required a detailed assessment of her subjective response.

From those calculations, of which Adam could only be 94.2 percent certain, he lightly kneaded Amanda’s beast, stimulating areas that had a specific concentration of nerve endings. He also inserted two fingers into her vagina, applied pressure to her clitoris, and applied a precise amount of pressure. Her reaction to his recourse exceeded his calculations.

“Ooh Adam!” she said. “Your hands…so warm and strong.”

“Does this please you, Amanda?” Adam asked her.

“Oh yes! I’m very pleased…so far.”

Her tone implied his purpose was not fulfilled. As such, he calculated a series of recourses, touching and fondling Amanda’s body in targeted ways. According to his database, such touching matched the criteria for foreplay. Such simple gestures were not sufficient, though. The foreplay Adam gave Amanda was foreplay specifically tailored to her pleasure, as per his programming.

The reaction, by most objective measures, was favorable. He detected a hardening of her nipples, increased blood-flow to Amanda’s genitalia, and an escalating internal body temperature. It was all consistent with increased sexual arousal. In conjunction with that arousal, she offered other forms of data that Adam had not intended.

As he touched her intimately, she did the same to him. She raked her hands and fingers over his chest, feeling over the masculine sinews that had been specifically molded to appeal to the female gaze. She also caressed his face in a manner consistent with affection. In her gaze and in various non-verbal cues, she showed signs of emotional arousal along with her sexual arousal.

In bringing her to such a state, it heightened Adam’s state too. He felt his internal systems initiating a series of new protocols. Data consistent with that of increased sexual arousal in male individuals flooded through his systems. Basic, objective sensory input took on a more subjective tone. It soon led Adam to one inescapable conclusion.

“Amanda…I desire you,” Adam told her.

“Yeah, I can tell,” she said, her soft hands cupping his face.

“You can? How are you processing such data?”

“The same way you are. I just feel it.”

“I feel…and I desire,” Adam said.

“That means you’re doing it right.”

What occurred next almost disrupted all of Adam’s calculations. Amanda, acting on either impulse or overwhelming emotion, kissed him on the lips. It sent his various emotional and logistical nodes into overdrive, so much so that he almost had to reboot. However, Adam sustained enough processing power to adapt and reconfigure himself once more. His purpose and his intent became clear.

He had feelings for this woman…feelings in the form of data, but feelings none-the-less.

As they kissed, new calculations and protocols went into action. He transferred his hands to her buttocks, recalling her desire to be touched in such a manner. She reacted with more audible moans, her escalating arousal echoing in her voice. That auditory data made his feelings for her even stronger, the input and desire converging into a single feeling.

When their lips parted, Amanda gazed into his eyes that denoted intense emotional and physical arousal. There was not sufficient data to determine how far that arousal went, but she seemed receptive to further input.

“Adam,” she said to him. “I want you to lay me on my bed and make love to me.”

“I understand your want, Amanda,” he replied.

“I’m sure you do,” she said, “but do you share that want?”

Adam needed a moment to process her tone, her gaze, and all the data associated with it. The final calculation was, subjectively speaking, the easiest one he’d made since his activation.

“I do,” Adam said to her. “I wish to make love to you.”

“Then, do it! Fulfill your purpose, Adam One.”

The resulting emotional data evoked a statistically significant smile on his face. Such data allowed Adam to focus on a specific, focused task…making love to the woman, as per his purpose.

Using the strength that had been built into his form, he lifted Amanda up into his arms with minimal effort. She laughed, her joyous voice filling his auditory sensors. He then laid her naked body down on the center of the bed. He subsequently joined her on the soft mattress, taking a moment to observe her body in its entirety.

Her face, her gaze, her skin, her nipples, and her genitals all displayed the physical signs of arousal. However, in order to satisfy her, it was necessary to take all the subjective data gathered by Amanda Carrington and cross-reference it with the objective data surrounding female sexual pleasure. By combining the two data sets, Adam formulated a process for fulfilling his purpose.

“I’m going to bring you pleasure and satisfaction, Amanda,” Adam told her. “I calculate that new fewer than two orgasms will be necessary to achieve this.”

“Two…aren’t you the ambitious one?” she said with a teasing undertone.

“I am following my programming and my desires. That requires both data and physical manifestations.”

Upon stating those words, his internal physiological systems sent a signal from his machine matrix to his biological matrix. Specifically, it sent the single to make his penis, as had been carefully crafted with a mix of synthetic flesh and cybernetic parts, fully erect and ready for intercourse. The efficiency with which that state was achieved triggered a reaction in Amanda consistent with shock.

“Wow!” she said. “That’s the fastest I’ve ever seen a dick get hard in my life. Is that feature standard?”

“It is a practical feature,” Adam told her. “If you wish, I can make it somewhat harder.”

“No, that’s okay!” she said quickly. “I’m just…trying to keep up with all this.”

“As of this moment in this intimate testing, you need not concern yourself,” Adam assured her. “I’ve formulated a plan. I’ve processed the data. I know how I will satisfy you. You need only lie back and enjoy it.”

She blushed again, showing signs of uncertainty, implying she was not convinced of his plan. Having crunched the necessary data, Adam was 97.8 percent certain of his success and he intended to allay Amanda’s doubts.

Initiating the final round of protocols, Adam got on top of Amanda and kissed her as she had done with him earlier. That triggered the emotional reaction he needed. She, and women like her, valued that emotional stimulation as much as the physical stimulation. With that feeling as the foundation, he initiated more foreplay as he trailed his lips down her body, taking in a flood of gustatory data in the process.

“Adam!” Amanda gasped, already voicing reflecting her excitement. “Your lips and hands…they feel so good.”

Her response evoked more emotional intensity in Adam. As he trailed his lips down her flesh, priming his taste function along the way, he lightly grasped her thighs and pushed them apart. Doing so revealed more of her feminine anatomy, including her vulva, labia, and clitoris. Such tender areas were already moist, indicating significant arousal. To ensure sufficient arousal, though, he needed more.

“I’m going to give you oral sex now,” Adam told her. “Please, enjoy it.”

Making another set of calculations, supplemented by strong emotional data, Adam utilized his lips and tongue to perform cunnilingus on Amanda. Her reaction was even stronger than he’d calculated. Her body shuddered, her lower back arching as her legs shifted erratically.

“Ooh Adam!” she cried out. “My pussy…so hot and wet. I might…I might actually come from this.”

“You will,” was all he told her.

Rather than waste time convincing her verbally, Adam employed the first part of his plan, using his lips and tongue to stimulate Amanda’s pussy in the most optimal way possible. He’d scanned, assessed, and calculated all the intricacies of her feminine anatomy to determine the necessary recourse. It was simply a matter of following the data.

By stimulating the right areas with his tongue and applying just the right amount of pressure to the clitoris, Adam sought to evoke enough pleasurable sensations to send Amanda into an orgasmic state. He calculated that it would take at least 6 minutes and 45 seconds for her to reached that state. She ended up needing only 3 minutes and 7 seconds.

“Ohhh my God! Adam, I’m coming! I’m coming!” she cried out.

“As is my purpose,” said Adam, “and my desire.”

After ceasing his oral stimulation, Adam used his thumb to apply just enough pressure to the clitoris. The result was an orgasmic response in Amanda that exceeded most of his preliminary calculations.

Her orgasmic cries filled the room. She threw her head back, clenched the sheets of the bed, and moaned in ecstasy as her body shuddered in accord with the pleasure. The visual data of seeing Amanda in such a state evoked a specific state in Adam too. The empathetic aspects of his emotional core became extremely active. Seeing her in such pleasure gave him pleasure as well. It was a reward that went beyond his purpose.

“I pleasured Amanda,” he said, “and I felt pleasure as well…pleasure I wish to share with her.”

The data was once again clear, but now the urgency was even greater than before. He’d seen Amanda in a state of pleasure, but she was not yet satisfied, nor was his purpose fulfilled. To do so, he needed the last part of his plan.

First, he waited until Amanda’s orgasmic processes had passed. He watched with a smile on his expression as she caught her breath, eventually opening her eyes and affirming the extent of her euphoria. In that same gaze, he determined with 99.998 percent certainty that she wanted more.

“I’m going to insert my penis into you now,” he told her. “We’re going to engage in sexual intercourse until you achieve orgasm again.”

“Is that…a promise?” Amanda said, her demeanor dazed by pleasure.

“It is a certainty,” Adam told her.

He kissed her again, allaying whatever doubts she might have had, although her non-verbal cues hinted at none. Adam then positioned himself on top of her once more, parting her legs so that they were securely around his waist. From that position, he shifted his hands to her waist and aligned his pelvis with hers. As soon as he felt the tip of his male genitalia touch the entrance to hers, he trust his hips forward and entered her.

“Oohhh Adam!” Amanda cried out again, grasping onto his arms.

“Amanda,” he said, but was unable to articulate further intent.

Whether by processing limitations or purposeful programming, Adam’s every protocol focused on sex with Amanda. Every bit of data went into conducting the physical motions associated with it and the emotional data it evoked.

Having already crunched the numbers, Adam moved his body in series of rhythmic humping motions, which helped work his penis within Amanda’s vagina. The penetration was so smooth, the extent of her arousal providing maximum stimulation for her and for him. The data received from her feminine flesh surrounding his was wasn’t just good from a subjective perspective. It fit the criteria of amazing.

The data, in that context, could be perceived as pleasure. The data he gathered from Amanda’s reaction was similar. Using that data, he employed the optimal sexual rhythm, combined with the optimal series of gestures, including kissing on the neck and stimulation of the clitoris to bring her to a state of sufficient satisfaction. Only by satisfying her could he both fulfill his purpose and be satisfied himself.

“Adam! Oh Adam!” she exclaimed over the course of their sex. “What a man…what a machine! Ooh I love it!”

“Amanda…I will satisfy you,” said Adam. “I will satisfy…us.”

He proceeded to employ his plan, intensifying the pace and precision of their sex. He’d calculated it might take as long as 32 minutes and 44 seconds for Amanda to achieve a second orgasm. He’d since revised that calculation to only 5 minutes and 17 seconds. At the same time, he felt in his own biological and synthetic systems a unique feeling of his own.

“I think…I’m about to come too.”

It didn’t seem possible, the idea of a robot achieving orgasm. However, the data didn’t lie. The various physical sensations associated with their sex was consistent with that of the male orgasm. It transcended the criteria for good and amazing. It also made Amanda’s orgasm even more revealing.

“Ohh Adam!” she exclaimed as she neared that orgasmic threshold. “You’re…you’re really doing it! You’re going to…make me…come again!”

Finally, at the exact conclusion of that 5 minute and 17 second duration, Amanda Carrington achieved orgasm again. Adam, responding to fresh physical and emotional cues, took her hands in his and held on as her body contorted to the intense physical pleasure that followed. This time, however, it was a pleasure he shared.

As her body shuddered once more, the tight contractions squeezing his masculine genitalia, Adam felt a flood of data consistent with that of a sexual release. He let out a deep grunt, uncertain of how to sufficiently react. In experiencing the breadth of the data and the feeling behind it, though, he determined such details to be superfluous.

“I did it. I satisfied Amanda,” he said. “I also…satisfied myself too. Fulfilling my purpose brings pleasure to me and to my user. Such data is unexpected, but potentially revealing.”

Adam surmised that Amanda had not heard those musings. In processing the data of her facial expressions, she was in such an intense state of ecstasy that such trivial data was not vital. That was deemed acceptable for Adam. Having processed so much data, physical and otherwise, he was content with the results.

After he and Amanda had concluded their sex, he withdrew his penis from her and laid down next to her. He sensed from her demeanor that she did not have the energy or desire to leave the bed. Instead, she curled her body up next to his, looking up at him with a gaze of affection that kept his emotional core extremely active.

“Wow! You are a very special creature, Adam,” Amanda said.

“I am Adam One. I am simply fulfilling my purpose,” he told her, reflexively reiterating his core programming.

“Well, you’ve definitely succeeded!” she told him. “But you’re not just a program within the robot body of a very attractive man. You’re something more than that.”

“You say that with such certainty. Are you certain that the lingering effects of multiple orgasms has not clouded your perceptions?”

“Ha! Are you kidding? I’ve never thought clearer before in my life!”

In joyous state that fit the definition of afterglow, as his systems defined it, Amanda got on top of him, her naked body resting atop hers. Adam still had so much data to process, too much to determine the greater meaning of her words and actions. However, he soon found himself fully engaged to this woman and all the rich data she had to provide.

“Now, I definitely know why my father sent you to me,” Amanda said. “He programmed something special into you…something he believes I can help you refine. To do that, though, we’re going to need a lot more tests. I intend to make that my purpose from here on out.”

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Filed under Sexy Short Story

A Compelling (And Balanced) Insight Into Open Relationships: A Review Of “Swing”

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When it comes to my love of comics, I sometimes give the impression that I’m overly narrow with my tastes. Given how much I’ve made my love of X-men, Wonder Woman, and Superman known, I wouldn’t blame anyone for believing my collection consists entirely of the kinds of superhero comics that big movie studios are using to rake in billions at the box office.

While I don’t deny that comics featuring mutants, aliens, and super-powered demigods make up a significant portion of my collection, there are a few other comics that stand out. I’m the kind of person who will go out of his way to look for something different every now and then, if only to take a break from seeing Batman fight killer clowns.

Most of the time, I don’t find anything that warrants more than a quick skim. Then, there are those rare, special occasions when I do find a comic that stands out and does it without resorting to superpowers, spandex, or ripping off Jack Kirby. Those books are as rare as they are special and I’m proud to report that I’ve uncovered such a title.

It’s called “Swing,” written by Matt Hawkins and Jenni Cheung with gorgeous art done by Linda Sejic. It’s not a superhero comic. It’s not a comic published by Marvel or DC. It’s a publication by Image Comics, a publisher known for supporting creator-owned comics and letting creators maintain the rights to their creations. It’s also a publisher that dares to tell stories about mature themes that would offend any Disney-owned company.

In other words, it’s the perfect place to tell a story about love, sex, and open relationships. Those aren’t just the underlying themes of “Swing.” They’re topics I’ve discussed on multiple occasions. I’ve even incorporated it into one of my books. How can a comic like this not appeal to me? Moreover, I feel like I’m uniquely qualified to review it, if only to determine whether the story deals with these themes in a compelling way.

If you’re looking for the kind of love story that involves tragedy, magic spells, or curses by evil witches, then “Swing” probably won’t appeal to you. If you’re in the mood for a love story that feels real, genuine, and overtly sexy, then this comic is for you. It’s a story that tries to be real by providing insight into a world that is still taboo and associated with one too many bad pornos.

The characters involved in “Swing” are not porn stars, though. They’re not exceedingly deviant or damaged either. Cathy Chang and Dan Lincoln are two healthy, affable, multi-layered individuals. Cathy starts off as a wide-eyed college student eager to start building a life of her own. Dan is grad student and aspiring writer. Their paths cross, they fall in love, and things evolve from there.

This isn’t a case of a student falling in love with a teacher or a teacher becoming infatuated with a student. Dan and Cathy come off as two functioning adults who develop a very healthy attraction to one another for all the right reasons. It’s the kind of romance that most people can easily picture unfolding in the real world.

That’s a critical element for the drama that later unfolds between these characters. By most measures, Dan and Cathy’s romance follows much of the standard model for romance. They meet, they feel attraction, they fall in love, and they immerse themselves in that passion. Yes, that passion involves sex, but never in an overly gratuitous way. The sex, in this case, is a product of the passion and not the end result.

Then, like many other real-world romances, that initial spark fades after life gets in the way. Cathy becomes pregnant, she and Dan get married, and they build a stable family life together that involves considerably less sex. According to traditional models of modern romance, this is where the story ends. However, this is where the story in “Swing” starts to escalate.

Cathy is not content to let stable family life define her love life. She wants to maintain that passion. She wants to still experience an exciting sex life. However, she and Dan just aren’t on the same page anymore. It makes for some awkward/hilarious moments, but it also helps establish that Dan shares those wants too. They both seek to sustain that passion, but they’re not sure how at this point in their relationship.

It effects them both and not just in terms of their sex life, although that does make for a few other awkward/hilarious moments. This is where polyamory enter the picture. Within their respective lives, Dan and Cathy aren’t immune to temptation. Dan attracts cute girls. Cathy attracts cute guys. They never cheat, though.

They make clear that they love each other. Resisting the urge to sleep with co-workers not that hard, but recapturing some of that passion makes it seem so much harder. They’re sticking to the script of what they think a married couple with children is supposed to be, but it’s just not working for them.

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That’s when Cathy brings up the idea of swinging. It’s an idea that seems crazy and evokes plenty of mixed emotions in both of them. Again, the feelings come off as real. There’s uncertainty, anxiety, jealousy, and outright paranoia at times. Both of them feel it, but both of them also want that passion again.

Together, they start to explore the world of swinging. It doesn’t directly lead to the kind of decadent antics once reserved for the letters section of Hustler Magazine. Dan and Cathy’s journey is a bit bumpier than that, but never stops feeling sincere or genuine. Without spoiling the outcome, I’ll just say that “Swing” sets these two lovers on a path that’s both intriguing and sexy.

This comic achieves something remarkable, both as a love story and one built around mature themes. It presents both monogamy and polyamory in a way that’s balanced. Neither is overly glorified. The benefits and flaws of both are laid out for all to see. There aren’t any moral judgments or social agendas being pushed. It’s a personal journey between two characters with a shared desire.

It’s not just sex positive in how it presents sexuality. It’s positive in how it conveys romance, as well. The love Dan and Cathy share is healthy, mutual, and strong. The sexual component helps complement that. One doesn’t depend on the other, but one certainly helps the other.

The story in “Swing” does not attempt to redefine romance. Through Dan and Cathy, it reveals the inherent struggle two people have when they want to maintain the passion in their lives, but aren’t sure how. If there’s an underlying message to the overall story, it’s that the pursuit sometimes requires nuanced thinking.

 

Hawkins and Cheung clearly put a lot of thought and effort into balancing the romance, the sex, and the inherent kink that comes with polyamory. Thanks to Sejic’s masterful artwork, there’s an undeniable beauty to that balance. Whether you’re a fan of love, sex, or comics that aren’t afraid to depict female nipples, “Swing” brings something special to the table.

If I had to score this comic, I would give it a solid 8 out of 10. I can’t give it too high a score because the story is incomplete. That’s a given since this was just Volume 1 of “Swing.” At the same time, there were other parts of the narrative that weren’t as well-developed.

Dan and Cathy’s surrounding cast didn’t get much depth beyond Cathy’s mom. Dan’s backstory isn’t really touched on, even though his personality is nicely fleshed out. In addition, the pace was uneven at times, but never to the point of being confusing. As a whole, the flaws are minor and do little to detract from the finished product.

As a fan of comics, romance, and all things sexy, “Swing” really surprised me in the best possible way. Regardless of how you feel about polyamory or open relationships, there’s a good story here that’s brought to life with amazing artwork. There will always be a place for comics with superheroes in spandex uniforms, but “Swing” fills a special role that even the greatest superhero can’t hope to fill.

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Filed under gender issues, Marriage and Relationships, polyamory, romance, sex in media, sex in society, sexuality

How Negative Expectations May Ruin “X-men: Dark Phoenix” (For The Wrong Reasons)

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There’s an important, but understated difference between negative expectations and a self-fulfilling prophecy. Expectations are like reflexes. They’re somewhat involuntary, reflecting our assumptions and understanding of a situation. A self-fulfilling prophecy involves actual effort. Whether intentional or not, it guides our perceptions in a particular direction, one often associated with a particular bias.

To some extent, a self-fulfilling prophecy is akin to self-hypnosis. We convince ourselves so thoroughly of a particular outcome that to consider otherwise would be downright shocking, if not distressing. That’s why it’s so difficult, at times, to escape a particular expectation, especially if it’s negative.

I bring up expectations and self-fulfilling prophecies because they do plenty to shape our reactions and attitudes, especially in the media we consume. For better or for worse, often varying from person to person, we tend to determine how much we enjoy something before we even experience it.

Sometimes, it works to the benefit of a particular movie, video game, or TV show. The powerful brand of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is built heavily on the expectations that a long list of quality, well-received movies have established. Conversely, the DCEU struggles with negative expectations, thanks largely to a catalog of movies that have failed to consistently deliver.

Then, there’s “X-men: Dark Phoenix.” It’s a movie for which I’ve made my passion and my excitement very clear over the past year. It’s also a movie that is in the midst of an emerging crisis. It’s not the kind that involves negative press, actors melting down on set, or sordid sex scandals, for once. Instead, it’s an issue that involves negative expectations that may very well become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

As big an X-men fan as I am, I don’t deny that the X-men franchise is not on the same level it was in the early 2000s when it dominated the box office alongside Spider-Man. Even though I loved “X-men: Apocalypse,” I can’t deny it under-performed and underwhelmed.

Despite that, “X-men: Dark Phoenix” has more going for it. It’s attempting to tell the Dark Phoenix Saga, the most iconic X-men story ever told. Moreover, it’s attempting to tell that story after it botched it horribly in “X-men: The Last Stand.” Even the director, Simon Kinberg, has gone on record as saying that he wants to “X-men: Dark Phoenix” to succeed where the last one failed.

Given how rare that kind of humility is in Hollywood these days, X-men fans and fans of superhero movies in general have every reason to expect better things from this movie. Given how low the bar is after “X-men: The Last Stand,” I’m more optimistic than I dare to be when it comes to comic book movies.

Unfortunately, that sense of optimism seems to beg getting less and less prevalent. Whether due to the underwhelming performance of “X-men: Apocalypse” or a growing impatience to see the X-men join the MCU after the Disney/Fox merger is complete, there’s a general sentiment that this movie is going to be bad.

I see it on popular YouTube channels. I see in the many comic book message boards I frequent. The overall consensus is that this is a Marvel movie that isn’t part of the MCU. Therefore, it’s going to be terrible. That is, by every measure, a terrible excuse to dismiss a movie, especially when we haven’t even seen a trailer.

To make matters worse, a recent string of leaks from an alleged test screening revealed details that have only fueled those negative expectations. For reasons that I’ll make clear in a moment, I won’t list the details of those links. I will, however, offer a direct quote that aptly sums up the prevailing attitude for this movie.

“I do believe some things won’t change. What can’t change is the movie being really underwhelming. Really lower your expectations because this one is not good.”

This news, if accurate, is not encouraging to anyone hoping to see a well-done Dark Phoenix Saga on the big screen. To make matters worse, those who already had negative expectations about this movie have even more excuses to resent it.

As I’ve noted before, people tend to cling to excuses that justify their preconceived notions. It doesn’t even matter if the excuse is true. Once they have it, they cling to it. It’s usually not done out of malice. It’s just a lot easier to keep thinking what you’ve already thought rather than adjust your expectations.

In this case those, the story surrounding the leaks has already confirmed to be untrue. That leak came from a Reddit post, of all things, which is akin to getting your news from 4chan. On top of that, and this is a testament to Reddit’s users, the mods have stated outright that the user was not credible. This is an exact quote.

Apparently test screen guy is Atlanta Filming, created an account and sent fake spoilers/leaks. Trying to discredit other bloggers because he wants to be “the only legit source”.

If that weren’t telling enough, it was already announced back in March that the movie was going to undergo reshoots in August. Now thanks to “Justice League,” reshoots have gotten a bad name, but they’re a fairly common practice. Even the heavily-hyped, positively-perceived “Avengers 4” is scheduled for reshoots.

Even if those leaks were accurate, chances are the cut of the movie shown at test screenings isn’t the final cut. Kinberg himself has said that the reshoots are intended to shore up the final product, as one would expect of any piece of art. It sounds so reasonable and logical.

That still doesn’t matter, though. It doesn’t change the expectations. This movie still isn’t meeting the impossible set of criteria that fans spoiled by the MCU have so unreasonably set. It’s not in the MCU, nor is it being guided by Kevin Feige. Therefore, it must be terrible.

It’s unfair, unreasonable, and just plain asinine to judge “X-men: Dark Phoenix” by those standards, especially with reshoots to come and no official trailer. At this point, the negative expectations are so heavy that they’re starting to sound more and more like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

With that being the case, I feel like I can predict the reactions from people once the trailer drops. Sure, there will be some like me who are eager to give this movie a chance after what happened with “X-men: The Last Stand,” but I think there will be more comments like this.

“It’s not the MCU. I’ll pass.”

“X-men Apocalypse sucked! I’m not even giving this one a chance.”

“To hell with this movie! Just let Marvel have the rights back already! Fox can’t do anything right!”

Now, far be it from me to defend Fox, the same company that gave us “Wolverine: Origins,” but these are all intensely petty reasons to judge a movie. I say that as someone who is guilty of setting low expectations for movies, cartoons, comics, and TV shows. Hindsight has done plenty to reveal which of those were the result of self-fulfilling prophecies. That still doesn’t make the expectations any less absurd.

Even for those who aren’t just ardently opposed to any superhero movie that isn’t a product of the MCU, I think I can predict the criticisms they’ll probably levy against this movie even after it comes out. Chances are, they’ll be every bit as petty and include comments like this.

“It’s too dark and not cosmic enough!”

“It’s too cosmic and not grounded enough!’

“It’s too much like the comics!”

“It’s not enough like the comics!”

“It doesn’t have enough [Insert Favorite Character Here]!”

“It has too much [Insert Intensely Hated Character Here]!”

There will probably be plenty more excuses for hating this movie, far more than I can list. It doesn’t even matter how subjective they are or how empty they may be. People who are determined to hate something will find an excuse that satisfies their psyche and vindicates their feelings. Anything else would require that someone actually re-evaluate their expectations and that’s just untenable.

It’s frustrating and tragic that a movie or any piece of media would be subject to this kind of debasement before it’s even completed. It’s one thing for a movie to face skepticism because of production troubles, “Solo: A Star Wars Story” being the most recent example. For a movie whose primary crime is not being in the MCU, that’s just plain absurd.

In terms of the bigger picture, it’s good for superhero movies, as a whole, if “X-men: Dark Phoenix” succeeds. It’s unhealthy for the genre if the MCU is the only acceptable avenue for quality superhero movies. We’ve seen with “Wonder Woman” that it is possible for a superhero movie to succeed in a world that doesn’t have Robert Downy Jr. or Chris Pratt.

X-men: Dark Phoenix” deserves the same chance. That’s why I intend to keep my expectations high, but cautious for this movie. Even if it turns out to be good, though, I worry that it’ll be undercut by too many people who are too eager to hate it. It would be both a tragedy for the movie and all those involved, as well as a bad omen for the genre as a whole.

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Filed under Comic Books, Jack Fisher, Superheroes, media issues, movies, X-men

Free Speech And The Long-Term Fallout Of The “Rosanne” Cancellation

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When it comes to free speech and freedom of expression, I consider myself somewhat of an extremist. If I were in charge of setting the standards, I would permit un-bleeped profanity, unfiltered hate speech, unblurred nudity, and anything else that One Million Moms finds offensive. That’s how much I believe in free speech.

It’s probably for that reason that I would be woefully unqualified to establish a legal framework for what constitutes free speech and how it would be enforced. I’m not a lawyer, a legal expert, or some colorful TV personality who pretends to be one. Despite my qualifications, though, I do feel like I have something worth contributing to an ongoing debate surrounding free speech.

If you’ve been anywhere near the internet or a TV over the past few weeks, you’ve probably heard about the scandal surrounding Roseanne Barr. Simply put, Rosanne Barr made some offensive tweets that she blamed on sleeping pills. The tweets triggered a major outrage across social media. As a result, ABC canceled her hit show, which had been generating strong ratings since its return.

On some levels, I can understand this reaction. ABC is owned by Disney, a company that has one of the strongest brands in the world. They are not the government. They are a publicly traded company and as such, public perceptions affect their profits and their image. If you think that doesn’t matter, just ask the NFL what happens when a brand gets undermined.

On every other level, though, I see this reaction as one of those short-term solutions that could create many other problems in the long run. Whether you agree with Roseanne Barr’s politics or hate her guts, she was still just voicing her opinion. Yes, it was in bad taste and had some racial overtones, but she did apologize for it. The sincerity of that apology is hard to gauge, but the effort still counts for something in my opinion.

Even without that apology, the potential precedent and backlash are already in place. We, as a society, have established a process for punishing speech that we don’t like or find offensive. The process has nothing to do with an authoritarian government cracking down on its people. It doesn’t even involve the kind of mass censorship that other countries routinely practice. We’re doing this all on our own.

Essentially, we’re doing Big Brother’s job for him. We’re just not calling it censorship or a crackdown. Instead, we’re creating our own category of speech that a significant number of people believe ought not to be expressed or shared. There are no lawyers or police enforcing those standards. We’re doing that through a type of speech-based vigilante justice.

Me being a die-hard fan of superhero comics, many of which are built around vigilante justice, I’m somewhat sympathetic to those who want to right the wrongs that our imperfect justice system leaves unfinished. In this case, however, I don’t see the kind of justice that Batman would pursue, nor do I see the kind of villainy that the Joker would carry out.

I see an emerging system where a huge population of well-connected, well-informed, and generally well-meaning people want to confront people and ideas that they feel our damaging to others, themselves, and society as a whole. I don’t doubt their sincerity or their idealism. However, I seriously doubt they understand the implications of what they’re doing.

I don’t agree with Roseanne Barr’s comments. I didn’t find them funny, but I didn’t find them that offensive either. I see far more offensive comments on message boards and Reddit at least twice a day. That sentiment is out there. It exists. Even if the internet disappeared tomorrow, people would still have these thoughts and opinions.

That’s exactly why the outrage, protests, and subsequent consequences don’t necessarily achieve much beyond removing a few offensive comments from an immense network that’s full of so much worse. It does nothing to actually change the sentiments of those expressing the speech. If anything, it just makes them regret getting punished.

It’s akin to the inherent conflict we feel in accepting a criminal’s apology. We can’t know for sure whether they’re genuinely sorry for doing what they did or whether they’re just sorry they got caught. One is very different from the other. Without reading Roseanne Barr’s mind directly, we don’t know if her show getting cancelled has changed her political persuasions or just made them worse.

Moreover, her losing her show, her job, and her credibility reveals to a hyper-connected world that this is how you combat speech you find offensive. You don’t try to change someone’s mind. You don’t grow thicker skin and deal with it. You just get enough people to voice enough outrage and eventually, you can both remove the speech and punish the person who spoke it.

For those who didn’t like Roseanne’s comments or were genuinely offended by them, I doubt that seems like a bad thing. They are, after all, simply voicing their own free speech and using that to effect change from a non-government, publicly-traded company. They probably see themselves as the heroes in this story.

What happens, though, when the script is flipped? It’s not unlike the distressing thought experiment I pitched a while back that involved swapping the genders of famous movie or TV scenes. Reverse the roles and suddenly, the situation takes on a very different context.

You don’t even need any imagination to contemplate this because it already happened with Colin Kaepernick. Like Roseanne, he expressed himself in a very public way that triggered a very public backlash. He ended up losing his job and any prospects of getting another.

The same people celebrating Roseanne Barr’s cancellation likely protested how Kaepernick was treated. Some of them even protested on his behalf in a very public way to apply pressure not unlike the kind ABC faced. While the two situations are not exactly the same, the general premise is clear.

If someone expresses a political opinion that you don’t agree with, you and those like you can protest as well to silence that opinion and publish the one who expressed it. Conservatives can do it to liberal figures. Liberals can do it to conservative figures. The end result is the same. The speech is silenced and the speaker is punished, but the underlying attitudes remain untouched.

It’s those untouched attitudes that may end up having the biggest long-term impact of both the Roseanne Barr situation and that of Colin Kaepernick. Being public figures, these two made themselves targets with their controversial expressions. However, the way others confronted it is potentially damaging to the very concept of free speech.

Thanks to the internet, social media, and outrage culture, both situations make clear to those of any political persuasion that you don’t have to confront the actual substance of someone else’s speech. You don’t have to thicken your skin, evolve your thinking, or learn how to process offense. You can just protest the speech and punish the speaker, all without getting the government involved.

That’s the kind of approach that does not foster a free, open exchange of ideas. If anything, it ensures that people internalize their feelings and sentiments that others may find offensive. In doing so, that makes it even harder to confront them and potentially change their minds. Roseanne losing her show isn’t going to convince her that her critics are right. If anything, it’s going to make her hate her critics even more.

The end result of this kind of self-censorship is downright dystopian. Imagine a world where everything online, on TV, and in movies is so filtered, so watered down, and so overly polished that nobody even has an opportunity to voice anything offensive. The government doesn’t enforce it. We do.

In that world, hate and bigotry still exists. It’s just hidden and we have no way of knowing about it. History and human nature makes clear that internalizing these feelings can be very damaging. Now, we’ve just given Roseanne Barr and everyone who shares her views to be angrier and more hateful. We’ve also given them a tool with which to fight back against those they disagree with.

It’s a dangerous situation with damaging implications for the future of free speech. We could argue whether or not ABC was right to cancel Roseanne’s show or whether a company like Disney has the right to fire people who damage their brand. At the end of the day, though, the source of the outrage and conflict still comes from us. If offense is all it takes to censor speech, then speech is no longer free.

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Filed under Current Events, gender issues, human nature, media issues, political correctness

The Appeal And (Major) Implications Of “Westworld”

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When most people think about the future, they imagine all the ways that technology and progress will solve problems and make our lives better. I’ve certainly imagined that. I’ve even written about it, with respect to how future advances will make us smarter, protect us from disease, and even help us love each other better.

As intriguing as those possibilities may be, it’s also worth taking a moment to contemplate the implications. I’m not talking about the potential existential crisis we may face with advancing technology either. I’m referring more to the practical aspects of a future where disease, suffering, and toil are largely mitigated by technology.

Beyond just living in a world with less suffering and less struggle, how exactly would we entertain ourselves? That may seem like a mundane question, given the more serious implications of advances like genetic engineering and advanced robotics, but it’s one of those issues that effects individuals on a personal level.

If we’re always health, physically strong, and have our basic needs met through some universal basic income, then what exactly are we going to do with all that free time? I’ve expressed concern that this may create an epidemic of boredom that’s every bit as serious as any major pandemic. No matter how strong, healthy, or affluent you are, boredom can have some pretty debilitating effects.

Enter the fanciful world of “Westworld” and all its implications, sexy and otherwise. For those of you who don’t get HBO, it’s a TV show inspired from an old movie produced by Michael Crichton, also known as the guy who wrote “Jurassic Park.” It’s no “Game of Thrones,” but it has a fair amount of gratuitous violence, nudity, and sex, albeit with much less incest.

Graphic content aside, it’s the underlying concept behind “Westworld” that makes it such an intriguing show. That same concept also has even greater implications for what the future may hold in terms of immersive entertainment, managing artificial intelligence, and how we treat sex robots. For once, I’m not going to focus entirely on the sex robots, since I give that subject plenty of attention.

The appeal of “Westworld,” as both a concept and a show, is built around a company called Delos Inc., which offers its high-paying customers a chance to immerse themselves in a unique experience. For a while, they get to leave civilization, modernity, and all its associated infrastructure behind and live in rugged, lawless world of the old west.

It’s not some movie where they just get to see images of scenery. It’s not some virtual reality that just makes them feel like they’re there, either. It’s a fully realized artificial world, complete with intelligent androids that have the look, feel, and presence of real people. Sure, some still act as sex robots, but that appeal goes far beyond that.

This is a world where you can live a different life, experience in a different time, and explore a world that no longer exists. You don’t watch it. You don’t listen to it. You don’t follow along through the eyes of a protagonist. You are the protagonist. You actually get to live out a real fantasy where the participants aren’t just role playing. They’re sophisticated androids that really believe they are what they are.

Now, the operation and function of those androids has been a major source of conflict within the show. As the show has progressed, controlling these androids and seeing them develop a sense of self has made for great drama. I would argue it’s one of the most engaging aspects of the show. It creates powerful moments that reflect real existential issues with respect to artificial intelligence, some of which I’ve contemplated.

While those issues are profound, in and of themselves, I find myself more interested in how “Westworld” may reflect the evolution of entertainment itself. Look past the issue with managing intelligent androids for a moment and think about the business Delos Inc. is employing here.

On paper, it’s not just brilliant in terms of potential profitability. It may very well embody the future of entertainment. Take a moment to contemplate how the entertainment industry has evolved over the past 30 years. We’ve gone from analog to digital, standard definition to high definition, and now high definition to 4k.

I’m still old enough to remember the lousy picture quality of TV shows, the pre-IMAX movie theater experience, and theme parks with less-than-polished exhibits. I still vividly remember going to see “Men in Black” in a theater that was crowded, dirty, and cramped. It was fun, but not that immersive.

Over time, the general trend of entertainment, both with movies and with TV shows, has been to make it more interactive. Movies have done that with the rise of 3D movies. TV shows have done that through things like live-tweeting. Video games, especially, have become much more immersive, both through virtual reality and through online interaction.

This trend reflects the understanding from producers and consumers alike that the most powerful form of entertainment is the kind that offers the most immersion. A game on your smartphone is fun and all, but it’s just data on a screen. It’s not going to engage too many senses.

The same goes for virtual reality, which is basically just putting that same screen over your eyes and bombarding you with sound to make you feel like you’re somewhere you’re not. It also doesn’t change the fact that you don’t have to move your body, exert yourself, or engage in the kind of activity that would lead you to believe that the experience is real. Granted, the brain can be fooled, but only to a point.

What “Westworld” does is logical in terms of crafting an experience that makes people feel like it’s truly real. The customers of Delos Inc. aren’t just observing or following along. They’re actually engaging with this fantasy world. It’s not on a screen. It’s not being projected into their brains. It’s real and they get to be part of it.

That world can literally be anything they Delos Inc. wants it to be. With their resources and their army of life-like androids, they can create all kinds of worlds for customers to explore. These worlds don’t have to be confined by the laws of modern civilization, current social norms, or even notions of reality.

Perhaps they can create an apocalyptic world where participants can kill zombies and live the lives of rag-tag survivors, like those of “The Walking Dead.”

Perhaps they can create a medieval world in the mold of “Game of Thrones” where participants can live the lives of brave knights, lecherous kings, or privileged queens.

Perhaps, if the Marvel Cinematic Universe continues to grow, there can be a world where people either get to interact with the Avengers or even get to be the Avengers. As a comic fan, I would definitely pay for that experience. I would be shocked if Disney isn’t working on something like this now, as we speak.

It doesn’t even have to involve an elaborate fantasy world either. Perhaps there’s a world where participants can live the lives of rock stars in 70s and 80s, complete with cocaine, groupies, and massive concerts where they’re the stars.

In theory, there’s no limit to the kinds of worlds a company like Delos Inc. can create. The old wast in “Westworld” is just one of them. The key is making the world perfectly immersive, but still safe to the point where the costumers aren’t ever hurt and face no repercussions for what happens during the experience.

However, it’s in that key safeguard in which the implications of “Westworld” get more distressing. It even plays out a few times in the show. In this immersive world of the old west, participants can carry out acts that would be wrong, immoral, or downright abhorrent in the real world.

The androids in “Westworld” may be more intelligent than the average exhibit at Disney World, but they’re still just robots playing a role. If a participant kills, rapes, or tortures one of them, there’s no repercussion. The android can just be cleaned up, fixed, and reloaded with a new program like it never happened.

It’s that kind of moral void, so to speak, that may make this brand of entertainment questionable. Say there’s someone willing to pay a lot of money to a company like Delos Inc. to create a world where they could go on a killing spree, murdering and raping as much as they want. This person is a law-biding citizen who has never acted on any violent impulses. Would the company be unethical in accommodating that fantasy?

There may be plenty of other distressing requests. Maybe someone wants a world where they can live the life of an 19th century slave-owner because they want to abuse slaves. Maybe someone wants a world where they’re the Nazis and they get to commit any number of unspeakable atrocities.

Remember, what they do in this world isn’t done to real people. They’re just paying for an experience. It’s not like the kind they would get in “Total Recall” where they only get memories of an experience. In a world like that of “Westworld,” they actually interact with that world. They make choices and do things, but no matter what they do, there’s no consequence or repercussion.

It raises many disturbing questions that are impossible to answer now. “Westworld” attempts to answer some of them, but there are plenty more that are simply beyond the scope of the show. It may do a commendable job focusing on what happens when intelligent robots start to get a will of their own, but it doesn’t do much to explore the implications that this form of entertainment inspires.

It’s going to be quite a while before we have the technology that we see in “Westworld,” but even if the human race progresses to a point where people and society are free from most conflict, there will be a need for entertainment. The form that entertainment takes may just reveal more about us than we care to know.

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