Tag Archives: Memorial Day

“Coming Home” A Sexy Short Story

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The following is a sexy short story I wrote that was inspired by a few recent Memorial Day stories I read. Enjoy!

“Damn, it’s good to be home,” said a restless, but relieved Brian Porter.

The decorated marine, having achieved the rank of Staff Sergeant and served multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, stood in the driveway of the modest suburban townhome he shared with his wife, Wanda. At just a few minutes past midnight, it was more than just a return home after another long tour overseas. It was the end of a journey that began ten years ago.

“Ten years,” Brian mused, “has it really been that long?”

That was a trick question, the kind that would’ve pissed off his old drill sergeant back in boot camp. It really had been that long. He vividly recalled the day he graduated high school and enlisted in the marines less than an hour after receiving his diploma. With his father, grandfather, older brother, and uncle having served, Brian knew back in middle school that he was going to serve as well.

He just had no idea how far it would take him. It started as a three-year commitment. Then, it became five years after he got deployed. Two more years followed, complete with tours, injuries, and multiple missed holidays. Somehow, within that span, he managed to meet his future wife at a Marine Corp Ball of all places. They’d married three years ago, but had to cut their honeymoon short due to another deployment.

That was all going to change, now. There would be far fewer lonely nights where he and Wanda had to text each other their love from across the world. After a decade of loyal service, Brian had received an honorable discharge and already had a job lined up at the same aerospace company his uncle worked at. At long last, he and his wife could settle into a new life together.

“I hope you’re not working another shift at the hospital tomorrow, baby,” Brian said into the brisk night air, “because we’ve got a lot of loving to make up for.”

His heart raced as he ascended the steps to the front door. He was as quiet as possible, employing some of the stealth techniques he learned from some Special Ops friends of his. Brian had every intention of surprising his wife. He wanted to see the look on her face when she wasn’t expecting him until the end of the month at the earliest. He’d seen plenty of those videos online of families being surprised by the return of a loved one. He wanted one of those moments as well.

Upon unlocking the door, he entered a darkened house. It was almost exactly like he’d left it during his last home leave five months ago. Everything from the arrangement of the furniture to the location of the coffee maker was still in place. His wife knew how meticulous he was about his living space. Seeing everything so clean and organized made him all the more excited.

“I’m really home,” Brian said under his breath.

He smiled to himself, letting the stern demeanor of a marine falter for once. He still remained skillfully quiet, setting his oversized bag down in the foyer and closing the door behind him with the utmost care. Near as he could tell, his wife was fast asleep.

Already contemplating her reaction, the battle-hardened marine made his way through the living room, taking extra care to avoid the squeaky floor-board near the living room couch. He then ascended the stairs, making sure his heavy black boots didn’t make a sound with each step. As far as he was concerned, every step he took was as critical as one of his missions.

“She says she hates surprises,” he said under his breath. “I think she’ll make an exception tonight.”

Grinning in anticipation, Brian made it to the top of the steps. The door to the master bedroom he shared with Wanda was within his sights. Then, he encountered an unexpected sight.

“What the hell?” said the marine, stopping dead in his tracks.

Within the darkened hall, illuminated only by the light of a full moon beaming in from a window, he saw a large greeting card pinned on the wall over a picture. It happened to be his wedding photo with Wanda, which should’ve been a sign. Curious, and a little shocked, Brain took the card from the wall and opened it.

Much to his surprise and chagrin, there was no card in the envelope. There was only a large piece of paper that said, in familiar handwriting, “In The Bedroom, Soldier.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Brain said, standing in the middle of the hall in a befuddled state.

He must have said that a little too loud because the door to the master bedroom opened slightly. The marine’s combat-honed reflexes took over and he glanced just in time to see a light turn on. Someone was awake and someone knew he was here.

At that same moment, he noticed a distinct aroma emanating from the room. He quickly recognized it as incense with a distinct hint of Jasmine. From that, Brian pieced together what was happening.

“I’ll be damned twice,” he said, shaking his head in amazement.

No longer caring about stealth or tact, Brian set the card aside and made a beeline for the master bedroom. Upon opening the door, he was greeted with a sight that would’ve made even the most harden soldier melt with joy.

“Hey there, Soldier,” said the sweetest, sexiest voice he’d ever heard. “Welcome home.”

It was a scene right out of his sexiest fantasies. Brian swore she had read his mind, noted every detail, and reacted it in their bedroom. Only a woman as wonderful as his wife could’ve achieved such a feat.

She’d put effort and resources into it that would’ve impressed his old Colonel. The lights had been draped with red cloths, bathing the room in an intensely erotic hue. At least two dozen candles lined the dresser and nightstands, providing the source of that intoxicating aroma he’d smelled earlier. The sheets of the king-sized bed had also been replaced with fancy blue linens and a comforter bearing the emblem of the United States Marine Corp.

In the center of it all was a beautiful, angelic woman who’d gone the extra mile to make a restless soldier feel welcome. Wanda hadn’t just made herself extra alluring to her husband, putting on extra makeup to look as beautiful as she had on their wedding day. She also wore the most revealing, transparent nighty he’d ever seen, complete with a matching black thong that got his heart racing in an entirely new way.

The way she was sitting on the bed, casually leaning back on her arms and showing off those incredible legs of hers, hinted that she’d been waiting all night for him. Brain was so utterly astonished that he couldn’t move his legs. For a trained marine, that said a lot.

“Wow!” gasped Brian. “Wanda, I’m uh…”

“Feeling welcome, yet?”

“Yeah…among other things,” he said.

“Good,” she said with a proud smile, “then the hardest part of my plan is a success. You once told me that surprising a marine was the hardest challenge, by design. Glad to see I was up to the task.”

Brian laughed at her remarks. He remembered telling her that on their first date. She claimed she would one day surprise him. He thought she’d been joking, but here she was, three years after their wedding and she delivered. Just when he thought he couldn’t love this woman more, Wanda found a way.

“Before you ask, I kind of had help,” she said. “Your older brother is a great guy, but he sucks at keeping secrets.”

“Of course it was him,” Brain said, rolling his eyes at that revelation. “Remind me to never share classified military secrets with him.”

“In his defense, he accidentally texted me instead of your mom that you’d caught an early flight home.”

“I’m still going to kick his ass the first chance I get.”

“And I don’t intend to stop you,” Wanda said. “First things first, though, my dutiful husband.”

With an intensity in her eyes that would’ve frozen a squad of Navy SEALS, his beautiful wife slipped off the bed and casually walked across the room. In every step she took, she swayed those toned hips of hers, sending the trained marine into a trance. Between the ridiculously transparent night-gown she wore and the thong that supplemented it so perfectly, Brian quickly forgot about his older brother’s terrible texting skills.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, he met her halfway between the bed and the door. When she slipped her arms around his neck, pulling her into his warm embrace, Brain felt his heart skip a beat. In an instant, her soft touch erased memories of countless cold nights inside cramped barracks. Just feeling her skin on his again, and all the loving warmth that came with it, was enough to sooth the soul of any hardened soldier.

“Wanda,” Brian said, already dazed by her warmth.

“You’ve been away for so long, fighting the good fight and doing your part for your country,” Wanda told him, sounding so sexy yet so intense. “Now, you’re finally home.”

“And I don’t intend to leave again,” he told her, clinging to her as though she were the only source of warmth in the world. “I’m here to stay this time.”

“And I’m here to love you as much as a wife can love her Marine Corp husband. I knew the day I accepted your proposal that it was going to be a challenge. Lucky for you, I’m the kind of girl who likes a challenge!”

“Yeah,” he said with a wide grin, “lucky indeed.”

“Even my mother warned me that marrying a marine meant a lot of lonely nights and long distances. She also gave me that corny line about absence making the heart grow fonder. I brushed it off at the time, but it’s true, damn it!”

“I know…so true.”

Her loving tone took on a sense of desperation. Now cupping his rugged face, which he hadn’t shaved in nearly a week, Wanda leaned in closer so that her forehead rested against his. The way she held him and the way he held her only proved that corny saying even more. Distance and longing had only strengthened their love.

Brian had heard more than his share of sad stories from his fellow soldiers. That same distance had ruined relationships and marriages for some. It had even led to bitter breakups. Some of his own squad-mates even warned him about getting married while still in the marines. They said outright that the odds were against him. At that moment though, holding Wanda in his arms again, he knew without a sliver of doubt that they had beaten those odds.

“I’ve missed you so much, Brian,” she said to him, her every word laced with emotion.

“I’ve missed you too, Wanda,” he replied, trying in vain to match her passion.

“Now that you’re back, I’m ready for the next challenge, whatever it may be.”

“So am I,” he said without hesitation.

“I don’t doubt that for a second, but before we even get to those challenges…I say we do a little celebrating.”

The way she said that last part sent his hard, as well as a few other body parts, into overdrive. With her arms still securely around his neck, she leaned in and kissed down the side of his bearded face, giving his ear lobe a little nibble along the way.

She knew how much he loved that. She’d done it the first time they made love and since then, it had been that unambiguous sign that they were going to get extra intimate. Tonight was no exception.

Upon sending that signal, Wanda guided lightly grasped his arms and guided him towards the bed. Already entranced by her sexy, loving aura, Brian followed like the obedient soldier he was. Upon reaching the foot of the bed, she sat him down. She even made sure he had a perfect view of her breasts, which were so clearly visible through her nighty.

“Sit down,” she said seductively. “Relax…and let me welcome you home.”

“I’m already feeling pretty welcome,” Brian said as he admired her breasts.

“That remains to be seen, my love.”

Wanda sounded determined again, like one of his old squad mates who’d been dared into a race. That brought out the best in soldiers, but it also brought out the best in sexy wives.

Armed with that drive, Wanda reached for his pants and undid them with the skill of a trained bomb technician. Once loose, she dropped to her knees and pulled them down his legs along with his underwear, even untying his boots along the way. As soon as his manhood popped free, it began hardening. The second his pants came off, got between his legs and went to work.

“I see some parts of you missed me more than others,” Wanda teased upon taking his member in both hands.

“You have no idea,” Brain said, already breathless with anticipation.

“More so than you think,” she quipped.

With the eagerness of a woman who’d endured as many lonely nights as him, she smothered his cock with her lips. There was no hesitation, whatsoever. She took in his entire length, showing that her gag reflex was every bit as good as it had been during their honeymoon. That hot, warm feeling sent shivers of bliss up through his body. Now leaning back on both arms, Brian soaked in the feeling.

“Whoa!” he gasped. “Wanda…you really missed me.”

His affectionate wife didn’t miss a beat. Like a medic performing triage, she gave him the kind of oral sex that got his blood flowing in all the right directions. She was so skilled and thorough, her soft lips slithering along his length as her firm grip squeezed the base. He must have missed his wife more than he thought because he swore he’d never gotten so hard so fast.

It must have surprised her too, his dick getting so hard. That, or his wife was just that good at giving her husband oral sex. He preferred to think it was a little of both. Wanda still kept teasing him, flashing him that same erotic glance that made him want her so much. All that time apart hadn’t dampened her libido. If anything, it intensified it.

“Mmm…Brian,” Wanda said after giving his shaft an extra thorough lick. “I want you…so much!”

She must have stepped up the timetables for her mission because she shot back to her feet with an urgency that would’ve impressed any drill sergeant. Then, drink on passion and desire, she took off her nighty, leaving her in just that skimpy black thong. Brian literally couldn’t kick his boots and socks off quickly enough because she practically tore his shirt off, rendering him naked and at the mercy of his wife’s lust.

“I want you too, my dutiful wife,” he said to her, using that extra deep voice he knew drove her wild.

“Then, take me!” Wanda said intently. “Make love to me…fuck me…do everything you couldn’t do through email and phone calls.”

“After all this time? You think you can handle it?” Brian asked, goading her with his seductive glance.

“As I already said…I like a challenge!”

As if to prove her point, she practically pounced on him after throwing his shirt to the floor. Brian caught her in his powerful arms, lifting her up with ease and laying her down atop the soft sheets. The fact the sheets bore the emblems of the Marine Corp on them somehow made that it all the more erotic.

Now on her back and urging him on with her eyes, Brian grasped the sides of her panties and slid them off down her legs. Upon tossing it across the room, her legs eagerly parted and welcomed him into her loving grasp. He could already feel the moist heat radiating from her inner thighs, exuding the utmost desire. Her flesh craved his…the line between physical and emotional desire blurred to the utmost.

Following that powerful desire, Brain got on top of her, his combat-trained body on full display for his wife. Her legs now hitched up over his shoulders, he guided his throbbing manhood towards her waiting womanhood. With a strong thrust of his hips, he entered her and officially ended months of limited intimacy.

“Ohhh Brian!” Wanda exclaimed.

He loved that sound. He’d missed that sound so much, the sweet echoes of his wife crying out his name. It motivated Brian to make love to her with all the love and passion a dedicated marine could muster.

His gaze now entirely focused on her, the same man who endured multiple rounds of basic training at boot camp channeled his physical prowess on the intimate act before him. Keeping a firm grip on her thighs, Brian began moving his body, working his hips in a steady, yet fervent progression of motions. From each movement, ecstasy and intimacy followed.

Hard manly flesh merged perfectly with warm womanly depths. It was incredible, the tight heat of her pussy surrounding his cock. It moved and slithered within her so effortlessly, his lover’s entire being embracing him as much as he embraced her. Love, sex, and passion all converged into a singular act between him and his wife.

“Wanda…so much,” Brian gasped. “I love you…so much.”

Immersed in the daze that naturally came with pleasure and affection, he eagerly smothered his lover with affection of every kind. He leaned in and kissed her, tasting those sweet lips that he’d only dreamed about during his deployments. He threw in plenty of tongue, as well. Wanda loved tongue.

Recalling his love’s various many kinks, he trailed his lips down her neck and nibbled along her shoulder. He also slipped his hands down to her butt and squeezed it, something he knew she loved as well. Much to his surprise – and a very pleasant surprise, at that – Wanda climaxed almost immediately.

“Oohhh God, I’m coming! I’m coming!” she cried out.

“Already?” he said with a grin. “You’re handling this well…very well!”

Upon making that comment, Brian steadied their sexual rhythm, allowing his wife the time and space she needed to bask in orgasmic bliss. Wanda prided herself on being theatrical when she climaxed. For that special moment, she was extra animated.

“Ohhh Brian!” she exclaimed.

The proud marine watched in a mix of awe and accomplishment as his beautiful wife arched her body, curled her toes, and grabbed hold of the bed sheets under her like they were the edge of a cliff. She did not hold back, either. She was extra loud with her euphoric cry. It might have already woke the neighbors. Even if that made for an awkward conversation tomorrow, it was so worth it.

He held his wife in his powerful arms for every second of loving bliss. Eventually, his hands found hers, their fingers interlocking as her body shuddered from her peak. Brian could still feel the extra throbbing around his manhood, the lingering echoes of her pleasure. It brought him a special kind of bliss seeing it. Knowing Wanda, though, there was no way it would end at that.

“That…may be the fastest a man has made his wife come…ever,” Wanda said, still panting heavily from her peak.

“The wives of the best soldiers deserve the best sex,” he teased. “It’s only fair.”

“Fair?” she laughed in a mischievous tone. “Brian, my love…we’re a long way from fair.”

With an energy that shouldn’t have been possible for a woman who’d just had an orgasm, Wanda shot up and captured his lips in a hard kiss. Then, with a strength that caught the marine off-guard, she turned him over so that she was flat on his back.

Their flesh remained united, her pussy still embracing his rigid cock. Now on top, looking like both an angel and a sex goddess in the erotic light, Wanda guided his hands back to her butt and she began riding him.

“You’ve done your part…and so much more,” she told him. “Now, let me…do mine!”

“Wanda…” was all Brian could get out before she silenced him with another kiss.

Marines were trained from day one not to submit or surrender. It went against everything they stood for. Under the loving touch and raw sex appeal of his beautiful wife, though, Brian gladly made an exception. Hell, every marine in history would’ve understood if they found themselves in the intimate embrace of a woman like Wanda.

True to her word, she did her part. With unbridled energy and passion, she gyrated her hips in a heated rhythm, working her pussy along the length of his cock. The ecstasy resumed, now more intense than before. Brian squeezed her heart-shaped butt, soaking in every hot sensation that followed.

She was so determined and thorough, holding onto his shoulders for maximum leverage. The sight of her loving gaze – as well as her bouncing breasts, which were always a special sight – sent him to the brink of orgasm in record time. He didn’t bother holding back. He could tell she didn’t want him to. She wanted him to share in the ecstasy as well. It was only fair, after all.

“So…so close,” he panted. “Wanda…I’m close.”

“Come, my love,” Wanda urged him. “I want this for you…for us.”

After a few thorough gyrations from his wife, Brian felt himself cross that special barrier between desire and fulfillment. White hot surges of intense pleasure shot through his core, spreading throughout his body in a sweet, satisfying release.

It was like swimming in a pool of pure pleasure and his wife was the one who dove in with him. It perfectly contrasted the strain and toil that came with being a soldier. Discomfort and grit became contentment and bliss. He felt his member tense inside her, his hot manly fluids mixing with her feminine depths. It was a perfect melding of flesh and intimacy, the kind that once seemed so distant for a soldier. It made him feel like he was truly home.

“Wanda…my beautiful Wanda,” he said in his blissful days.

“I’m here, Brian,” she told him. “We’re here now…together.”

Those were the only coherent words either of them got out. After that, the two of them now drunk on passion and pleasure, Brian embraced his wife in his arms once more and continued their overdue lovemaking. After so much time a part and so much pent up desire, there was no way the night would conclude with just one orgasm.

After that first peak, though, everything became a bit of a blur. Brian captured Wanda’s lips again in another passionate kiss, led her into a fresh round of heated foreplay, and followed their intense desires into more sex. Together, they really rocked the bed, going at it from every position they could pull off. It was like making up for all the lost time. The soldier in him would not leave any ounce of love for his wife untapped.

At some point, they ended up under the covers. Brian couldn’t tell how many times his wife climaxed, but if the ringing in his ears was any indication, it was more than enough to establish how much she missed him. He had more than his share too, pushing the endurance he’d honed as a marine to the limit.

By the time he and Wanda had fully vented their passions, they collapsed in each other’s arms, lying together in a heap of sweaty flesh and loving affection. His arms still draped around his lover, he laid with her in a state of pure contentment. The battles they endured to be together was over. Finally, Brian was ready to find peace with his wife.

“I love you,” Wanda told him.

“I love you too,” he said softly.

“I’m so happy you’re home. I’m glad I could surprise my wonderful, battle-hardened husband.”

“Me too,” Brian said with a grin, “but I’m still kicking my brother’s ass for telling you.”

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Happy Memorial Day 2018!

us-soldiers

Today is a special, but bittersweet day for many. For most people, Memorial Day is just the day you recognize as when all the pools open and everyone starts planning a trip to the beach. I admit that’s how I saw it as a kid. As we grow and learn about the hardships of this world, we come to appreciate it’s more profound meaning.

Memorial Day is, as declared in the act that made it a federal holiday in 1968, a date for remembering those who lost their lives in the wars that helped shape the history and character of a country. While I know it is trendy among certain crowds to criticize and even bemoan the character of a country that once owned slaves, that doesn’t make the sacrifice of these brave soldiers any less honorable.

Say what you will about those who craft the policy or agenda of a country, but those who choose to serve it are worthy of our respect and admiration. It takes a special something to be willing to lay your your body, your life, and your principles on the line for your country. That takes a strength that not everybody has.

I’m lucky enough to know some of that strength personally. I have close family members, both alive and deceased, who served in the United States Military in various forms. I have family who served back in World War II in the Pacific. I have family who served in the army. I even have one who served in Vietnam as a marine.

I see in these people who I love and cherish as embodiments of the strength it takes to serve. Just growing up with them, learning from them, and sometimes getting lectured by them have helped forge my character and that of my family. They help teach me what it means to be honorable, strong, and selfless.

Even those who didn’t serve directly in the armed forces still found ways to contribute. One of my female relatives worked in a torpedo factory during World War II. She did that when other relatives tried to discourage her out of concern for her safety, but she did it anyways. She was just that kind of strong.

Female Soldier

Even with this strength, though, there were losses. These same relatives who show such strength and honor for their service also show the price that comes with that service. Some of the people they served with never came home. There were also plenty that did who did not come back in one piece, physically and mentally.

These days, that price is easy to overlook in an era of political upheaval and evolving agendas. My family understands that more than most, but not as much as some have suffered. On a day like this, it’s important to remember and reflect on those who suffered fron their sacrifice. Their losses have helped ensure that we have a society and civilization in which we can thrive.

Even though war, as a whole, has been in decline over the past century, such progress was only possible through the sacrifice of these soldiers. Some of them never got to live to see the world they helped create. Some may never know just how much their toil helped shape the world. That makes days like this that much more important.

Memorial Day Parade

Beyond the parades and barbecues, it’s just as critical to honor the spirit that every active soldier and experienced veteran embodies. Whether it’s within your own family or in those close to you, today is a day to celebrate the ideals they pursued and the burdens they bore.

It’s also a great time to contribute to any veteran-related charities. Some include The Wounded Warrior Project and Home For Our Troops. Whether it’s contributing money or just spending time with those close to you who served, every little act helps to honor their sacrifice.

Once more, to all who serve now and to all who have served before, especially those who are no longer with us, I thank you for your strength and your sacrifice. Happy Memorial Day and please continue to honor the ideals that make this country and others worth defending.

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Ode To Sexy Soldiers

It’s the day after Memorial Day. I hope everyone took some time out of their busy lives, hopefully which involves regularly reading this sexy blog, to give their thanks and appreciation to all the brave men and women who serve their country honorably. Regardless of whether you or a family member have served, it’s important that we honor and cherish their sacrifice.

Make no mistake. Our modern world of fast cars, fast internet, and spray cheese in a can would not be possible were it not for our soldiers. They helped forge peace from the chaos. They put their lives on the line so that the society we’re trying to build is still possible.

Say what you will about the military, foreign policy, or whatever else former Ron Paul supporters love to complain about. Our soldiers are one of our greatest assets and they deserve a special place in our hearts and in our loins.

That’s why I want to use today, the day after Memorial Day, to pay tribute to the sexier side of soldiers. I was going to do it yesterday, but that just didn’t feel appropriate. There’s a time and a place to talk about the issues that make your paints feel hot and tight. A day dedicated to the sacrifices of our soldiers isn’t one of them.

Today, however, couldn’t be a better time. Not only have we celebrated an important holiday for our veterans, we also celebrated the beginning of summer. The beaches are now open. Schools are finally closing. The weather is getting hotter and that means less clothing for everyone. I’ve often said the world needs more nudity and this is the time of year to further that goal.

With that in mind, I’d like to combine a celebration of summer with the sexier side of honoring our soldiers. Yes, there is a sexy side. How could there not be? Soldiers should have a lot of sex appeal and I’m not just talking about the badass things they do.

Soldiers don’t just learn how to fire a gun. Soldiers have to run, train, fight, travel, and sweat on battlefields of all kind. Every part of that strengthens the traits that men and women alike find sexy. You can’t be a lazy, unhealthy, undisciplined slob and be a soldier. You need to work, train, and get shit done. Who wouldn’t find that sexy?

That’s why today, I’d like to give a special ode to the sexy soldiers of our military. I’ve already given an ode to hot teachers, who also provide a valuable pubic service. It’s only fitting I give a similar homage to the strong, fit, sexy men and women who help make our military and our country awesome.

I’ll give all the men and women a moment to catch their breath and change their pants. Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you to all the brave men and women who serve our country honorably. I can think of few more noble causes than fighting for freedom while looking sexy as hell every step of the way.

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Happy Memorial Day 2017!

Memorial Day 2017

To all the brave men and women out there who serve their country with honor and dignity, Happy Memorial Day!

There are no sexy jokes, kinky discussions, or elaborate though experiments today. A day like this should be a used solely to commemorate and honor those who have served their country. As someone who has veterans in his family, the value of that sentiment cannot be understated.

So please take some time today to reflect, honor, and cherish those who give their hearts and their lives in service to their nation. To all those brave men and women, I salute you.

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First Day At The Beach (And It Feels So Good)

Good morning from my first day of my beach vacation! If it sounds like I’m more relaxed and more content than usual, it’s because I woke up to a beautiful view this morning. As I type this sentence, I am looking out at a beautiful ocean on a pristine beach that is just about to open to the masses. It’s every bit as wonderful as it sounds.

I’m done following tips for getting into a beach body. I’m done just waiting anxiously for that memorable first feeling you get when you dip your toes in the ocean, see a sexy bikini, or take your first Jell-O shot at a beach bar. I’m here now. I’m ready to enjoy myself. After achieving such a huge milestone last month with the release of, “Passion Relapse,” I am ready for a break.

If this vacation goes well, I’ll come back feeling refreshed and full of new sexy thoughts to share. I’m looking forward to it and I hope everyone else finds a way to enjoy themselves as well as summer officially begins.

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Jack Fisher’s Beach Body Tips

It’s almost that time again. For kids who have been languishing in school or adults who have been cooped up indoors, the wait is almost over. Summer is almost here and that means the beaches are almost open. Just writing that puts a smile on my face and a tear of joy in my eye.

I doubt it’ll shock anyone that I love summer and I love the beach. What’s not to love? I’m a man who enjoys sleeping naked and appreciates nudity in general. Many swimsuits these days are basically akin to underwear anyways so being at the beach means you’re basically halfway there. It’s the closest you can come to enjoying nudity without breaking any indecent exposure laws.

Beyond the bikinis, as though an aspiring erotica/romance writer needs any more reasons, the beach has pretty much everything. The weather is warm, the food is good, and beach bars are always a fun place to hang out. There’s music, body surfing, and a general fuck-work-let’s-just-relax type attitude. No matter who you are, you’ll find something to enjoy at the beach.

I say this with an even bigger smile because in a couple days, I’m taking my first major vacation of 2017. With the arrival of the Memorial Day holiday, most of the pools and beaches all over the country will be open. For me, that’s basically my cue to get the hell out of my fancy suits, put on some swim trunks, and get to the beach. After being snowed in one time too many, I’m ready for some warmer, clothing-optional weather.

As such, I’m making the necessary preparations for my first beach trip of the year. For me, that doesn’t just mean stocking up on sun screen and washing my beach towels. It also means working out a little harder, getting into just the right shape for the summer. That way when I take my shirt off, I can be proud of what I’m showing the world.

Now, I don’t consider myself a real fitness junkie. I’m no body builder and I’m certainly no Olympian athlete. In fact, not long ago, I was about as health conscious as Homer Simpson on a donut bender. It wasn’t until about five years ago when I started shaming myself into being healthier.

Surprisingly enough, I learned that I really enjoyed working out. For some reason, getting all hot, sweaty, and sexy can be very rewarding for a man. Who knew? It may seem so obvious now, but I really had to push myself to reshape my body and adopt a healthier lifestyle.

I started small, going to some crappy gym that cost way too much, at least once a week. It wasn’t much, but it got me started. It triggered in me an unexpected feeling. I felt good about myself. I felt confident in my body and my abilities. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to begin a new process.

Fast forward a few years and I’m now a member of a much nicer gym. I go twice a week, doing a mix of weight training and cardio. I’m also an avid runner. I run at least 15 miles a week around my neighborhood. It doesn’t matter of it’s boiling hot outside or bone-chilling cold. I still do it and I still love it.

It was hard, stressful, and downright agonizing at times. I’d spent most of my life as the kid who dreaded gym class more than calculus. That’s not an easy mentality to escape, but I did it. I did it and I’m a better man because of it and not just because I look better in a speedo.

Now, I know it’s become politically incorrect these days to show off your beach body and preach the value of exercise. For some people, it’s a downright affront to their right to look the way they want, no matter how unhealthy it might be. I’m not here to start another debate on that issue. That’s one of those arguments that can never be won.

Instead, I’d like to just appreciate the joys of going to the beach and looking good while doing it. Summer is here and no matter what your political affiliation or predilection for outrage, a trip to the beach is something we can all enjoy.

So for those looking to hit the beach at any point this summer, I’d like to offer a few tips on getting that beach body you want. Please note, however, that I am an aspiring erotica/romance writer and not a fitness guru. I’m no more certified to give health advice than I am to fix a rocket. However, I can speak from experience though and, as my visible abs can attest, that experience does give me some insight.

Now, I get there are some out there who don’t care to get a “beach body” of any kind. They’d rather stay in whatever shape they’re in right now. That’s perfectly fine. You’re free to do that. For those who aren’t content with their current body shape, though, I’d like to help. I want to help everybody be and feel as sexy as possible. So here are my top tips for obtaining a beach body for the summer.


Tip #1: Look At Your Current Fitness Routine And Add ONE More Workout

It’s a common misconception that in order to get into great shape, you need to train like an Olympian and hire Brad Pitt’s personal trainer. That’s simply not the case. The human body is stubborn, but not that stubborn.

If you’re at all health conscious and you have a workout, then you’ve already completed the most important step. There are a lot of people out there who can’t even get that far. I know because, until a few years ago, I was one of them.

Having a regular workout is a great way to establish a base fitness level of sorts. If that workout helps maintain the body shape you want, then keep at it. If being cooped up all winter has made it harder to maintain that level, then add at least one additional workout on top of it. That’ll strain your body in just the right way.

By straining your body in that right way, you’ll get it burning some extra fat and building some extra muscle. Whether you wear a speedo or a bikini, every bit of sexiness counts, especially at the beach.


Tip #2: Tweak Your Diet For A Week To Emphasize Eggs, Chicken, And Fish

Working out is hard enough. Even hardcore fitness junkies will tell you that sticking to a diet is even harder. Let’s face it. We live in a world full of delicious, unhealthy food. You can’t go 100 feet in this world without running into a fast food restaurant, an ice cream shop, or something that reminds you how much you love chocolate.

It’s hard resisting all that sugary food. Contrary to what some gurus may tell you, you don’t have to abandon it completely. Even the muscle-bound Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson doesn’t do that. In fact, he’s famous for his so-called “cheat days” where he gorges on those delicious, sugary foods and does it with a charisma that only he can match.

Keep that in mind as you tweak your diet in preparation for the beach. That doesn’t mean eating only cardboard and kale, though. For building muscle and burning fat, your primary sources of nourishment should come from protein-rich sources like eggs, chicken, and fish.

If possible, throw in some brown rice and use whole-grain bread as well. This will put your body into a fat-burning, calorie shredding mode. It’ll help build muscle and reduce fat deposits.

Also, if you’re going to drink anything, drink water or calorie-free soda. Stay away from energy drinks or fruit juice. If you need energy, just simple black coffee will do the trick.


Tip #3: Spend An Extra Half-Hour Out In The Sun Before You Hit The Beach

This isn’t so much a fitness tip as it is a tip to make your beach experience less painful. Now if you’re not the kind of person who gets sunburned easily, you can skip this. For others who are of a very pale complexion and burn easily, like me, skip this at your own peril.

There are two kinds of people in my family, those who tan without even trying and those who burn. I’m the latter. When you’re pale, it doesn’t take much for the sun to scorch your skin like burnt toast. Sometimes, applying sunscreen only goes so far. One year, I slathered myself in sunscreen, but still got burned on the tops of my feet where the lotion washed off. That was not a pleasant feeling.

Beyond sunscreen, just spending some extra time out in the sun, getting a base tan of sorts, will go a long way towards easing any burns. You don’t have to spend hours on end outside. Just spend a half-hour at most, getting some rays to add some color. Trust me. Nothing is more painful and less sexy than a full-body sunburn.


Tip #4: Get Extra Sleep In The Days Before You Go To The Beach

There’s so much to do and see at the beach. Between the bikinis and the beach bars, there just aren’t enough hours in the day to enjoy it all. What’s the point of going to the beach if you’re too tired or stressed to enjoy it?

This is where sleep comes in. It doesn’t just rejuvenate your mind and give you awkward boners in the morning. It’s very important to your health. A lack of sleep can negatively impact your weight and your overall fitness. That’s why waiting until you’re at the beach to catch up on sleep will cost you half your vacation.

To ensure you have the energy and vitality to enjoy the beach, try getting some extra sleep in the days leading up to your trip. This won’t just help with whatever fitness routine you’re doing. It’ll ensure you have the time and energy to maximize your beach-going experience. That means less time sleeping and more time soaking in the sun, drinking lemonade, and admiring the bikinis.


At the risk of overwhelming people on a topic that should be inherently relaxing, I’ll stop the list here. If you have your own system for enjoying the beach and it works for you, then don’t let me stop you. Go for it! Do what you know works for you. These are just tips for those looking for other ways to maximize their beach-going experience.

I’m already in the process of preparing. I’m already looking forward to that moment when I step on the beach, take off my shirt, and strut my manly stuff. If anyone out there can think of a better way to begin summer, I’d love to hear it.

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