Tag Archives: youth issues

Teaching About Sex, Consent, And Relationships (Through Video Games)

Let’s face it. Most kids aren’t that eager to learn about the stuff that their teachers, parents, and school administrators want them to learn about. They’re not interested in knowing the skills that will make them healthy, productive, tax-paying consumers who will keep society running. They’re interested in the skills that will make them popular and/or get them laid.

The deficiencies of our education system are many and I’ve made no secret of my disdain for the experiences I had within that system. However, I don’t want to dwell too much on that this time. Talking about how much I hated high school is rarely that sexy.

Instead, I want to focus on something that most kids are eager to enjoy and how some people are using that to improve their understanding of sex, sexuality, and relationship. What could kids possibly excite kids that much to learn about something that they would rather not learn from the same gym teacher that makes them run laps in winter?

The answer is more obvious than you think. It’s video games. Admit it, that almost makes too much sense.

There’s no question that kids love playing video games more than learning about quadratic functions. According to a survey done by the MacArthur Foundation, approximately 97 percent of kids between the ages of 12 and 17 play video games. When it comes to statistics and surveys, you can’t get much more definitive without asking kids whether chocolate fudge tastes good.

Kids might not be able to agree whether Superman could beat the Hulk, which he totally could, but they agree that video games are awesome. So if kids love video games so much, why not use that love to teach them valuable lessons about sex, relationships, and consent?

That’s not a rhetorical question. I’m not being facetious either. It’s not about the medium or whatever asinine controversies it may have. It’s about working with what kids already love and using that to help them in valuable ways. It’s not that radical a concept. Hit movies have been made about it.

When it comes to teaching kids about sex, though, I wouldn’t expect Edward James Olmos to star in a movie about that. That doesn’t mean the concept is entirely flawed. Teaching kids about sex is hard enough. Teaching them in a way they’ll remember and take seriously might be beyond the power of Hollywood.

That still doesn’t stop some from trying. In a story by Kimberly Lawson at Vice, an associate professor of medicine at Yale University has helped create a game called PlayForward: Elm City Stories. It’s a fairly straightforward, two-dimensional role playing game that is less about killing aliens or Nazis and more about guiding players through a narrative, showing how their decisions affect them along the way.

That’s not quite as radical as it sounds. Role-playing games represent a large chunk of the video game industry. Major game franchises like “Mass Effect” and “Final Fantasy” are built around the idea of having players make choices and face repercussions of those choices. Take away the aliens and the monsters, though, and you’ve got a solid basis for understanding real life choices.

PlayForward: Elm City Stories plays less like Dungeons & Dragons and more like the classic board game, Life. In it, you play as avatar in a fictional, but fairly realistic city where you have to navigate a variety of activities and make choices along the way.

Some of those activities involve who you your friends are. Some involve going to certain events and parties. Some even involve whether or not to make out with a cute girl. It may sound mundane, but like most RPGs, the appeal is diving into the world of the character and leading them through it. Here’s how Vice describes the experience.

Players have to make important, life-changing decisions, including whether or not they should go upstairs to make out with someone, if they should use a condom or not during sex, and whether they should accept pills found in someone’s grandmother’s medicine cabinet. At any point, they can fast-forward to the epilogue to see what their character’s life looks like at 30, based on the decisions they’ve made.

Through that experience, players learn about more than just saying no to the guy on the street corner offering a free hit of crack. They experience both the short-term and long-term impacts of their decisions. Given the notoriously short attention spans and limited foresight of kids, that kind of insight in indispensable when teaching them about sex and relationships.

It’s no “Super Mario Brothers,” but the lessons it conveys are more valuable than any princess. It puts the players in a position to choose the right and wrong path. It shows them just how right and wrong those paths can be in the long run for their character and themselves, by default.

Beyond just consequences, the game gives players a chance to explore situations involving intimacy, consent, and relationships. Their choices help forge the relationships they have throughout the game. To get a better outcome, they actually need a better understanding of intimacy and consent. The fact that gives them tools to apply those lessons in the real world just a pleasant side-effect.

In a sense, PlayForward: Elm City Stories is coming along at the perfect time. We live in a world where sexual harassment and sexual assault are heated issues. We, as a society, are not as willing to turn a blind eye to these sorts of indiscretions anymore.

Just punishing the Harvey Weinsteins of the world isn’t enough, though. We need to teach the emerging generation that there’s a time and a place to show a beautiful woman your genitals. Knowing those circumstances will be the difference between having a great sex life and being sued into oblivion.

Kids aren’t going to learn those skills through lectures, after school specials, and cute puppets. Some of the most effective learning methods involve active engagement with real activities that offer real rewards. In that sense, video games are the perfect medium for that kind of teaching.

While I doubt that PlayForward: Elm City Stories will win any game of the year awards, it sets an important precedent that is worth building upon. Saving princesses and shooting killer aliens is still fun, but learning about relationships, consent, and sex will take a player much further in life.

Kids, and people in general, learn best when they don’t know they’re learning something. Video games may still have a nasty reputation in some circles, but it offers opportunities to teach valuable skills that aren’t easy to teach, especially to hormonal teenagers. We should take advantage of those opportunities and hopefully, PlayForward: Elm City Stories is just the beginning.

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Filed under Current Events, gender issues, sex in media

How To Tell If Someone Is Serious (About More Than Love)

In every great love story, be it a play from Shakespeare or a terrible Hugh Grant movie, there’s usually a point where one or both aspiring lovers asks a simple question.

“How serious is he/she about loving me?”

It’s not an unreasonable question. You could argue that it’s one of the most important questions any lover can ask that doesn’t involve a marriage proposal, meeting their partner’s parents, or elaborate role playing during sex. I would tend to agree with that argument.

In addition, that same question is often asked, albeit in a slightly less romantic context. At some point in our lives, we encounter someone who has all these ambitious goals. They want to become a famous singer. They want to become a famous movie star. They want to protest the injustices that every straight, white, cis-gendered male ever committed throughout all of human history.

The scope and extent of those goals vary, but most will come off as dead serious about them. They’ll claim they want to achieve these goals every bit as much as two lovers seeking to vindicate their love. Since the stakes are so high, involving love and people whose goals may help/hinder/frustrate our own, it’s an important question to answer.

There are many who claim to love someone with all their heart, only to cheat on them. There are those who claim to oppose a particular injustice, but turn out to be total hypocrites. In general, we want to know how serious these people are before they become an unflattering meme on social media. It spares everyone in our lives more heartbreak in the long run.

So how do you sift the potential hypocrites from the potential allies/spouses? Well, I have a method. I’m not saying it’s a perfect method. It’s just something I’ve noticed in writing sexy novels and exploring romantic themes. Feel free to incorporate it as part of your own. It’s simple and doesn’t require you to invest in any elaborate life coaching. It only requires that ask and answer one additional question.

“How much is he/she willing to inconvenience themselves?”

It’s a more specific question to answer. The first question can’t be answered without reading someone’s mind. Since we haven’t perfected that technology yet, although we’re working on it, we have to stick with something more practical.

In my experience, the most telling signs of someone’s sincerity comes largely through what they do when compared with what they seem willing to do. They’ll never say it out loud. They may never even get asked. It’ll show in subtle ways, though. If you can see the signs, then you’ll get a rough idea of just how serious this person is.

Here’s a quick example that comes right out of one of my novels. In “Passion Relapse,” the main character, Mary, went out of her way to reach out to Peter from the beginning. Doing so was only a mild inconvenience, at best. However, it didn’t stop with just reaching out to him. She went out of her way to build more connections with him and he returned the favor.

Mary’s actions made clear that she was serious about forging a meaningful connection with Peter. If you want to know how meaningful (and sexy) it got, I highly recommend you buy the book. It’ll make my point that much clearer and make you horny.

For a more classic example, look at the original “Star Wars” trilogy. Specifically, look at how far out of his way Han Solo went for Princess Leia. He got paid a lot of money for saving her, but then he came back, risked his life, and helped the Rebels destroy the Death Star.

He went even further than that, though. He ended up getting frozen in carbonite, but still went onto love her. That’s not just dedication. That’s real, honest love. Ladies, if a man is willing to get frozen in carbonite for you after you gave him a lot of money, then he’s a keeper.

Contrast this with a character like Zach Crenshaw in my book, “Skin Deep,” or someone like Cal Hockley in “Titanic.” They never say it outright, but their selfishness says it for them. They refuse to go out of their way for others, unless it benefits and/or harms them directly. They’ll even resort to violence and make terrible excuses to justify it.

In real life, it’s not as obvious, but still plenty apparent. It often crosses my mind whenever I see politically correct types protest about overly sexy advertising or uptight religious zealots complaining about who or how many other people we’re having sex with. Sure, it’s still annoying, but you can surmise the sentiment indirectly.

These same politically correct types may complain about a sexy female character in a video game, but they won’t say a word about real horrific injustices that actual women endure in other countries. Those same religious zealots may complain, but they’ll never fly to New Orleans for Mardi Gras and try to actually stop these people from doing all the sinful things they love to do. That would be both hard and inconvenient.

That’s usually the most telling sign. If someone is not willing to inconvenience themselves, be it for love or for a goal, then that shows they’re not as serious as they claim. Sometimes, they’ll just say what others think they want to hear. They’ll even virtue signal to make themselves feel better about what they’re not doing.

Think of this next time you see some protest on a street corner. Think of it next time you find yourself with someone that you think you could build a life around. Will they be like Han Solo and willingly freeze themselves in carbonite for you instead of paying off Jabba? Will they ditch you on a sinking ship the second they get the chance like Cal Hockley?

You can’t always answer those questions directly, but you can look for clues. If you find out that the person you’re dealing with isn’t willing to be too inconvenienced, then chances are they’re not going to be serious with you, their goals, or damn near anything that would hinder their ability to binge-watch the new season of “House of Cards.”

It may be hard to distance yourself from those people, especially if they’re family members, but the sooner you know, the sooner you can be proactive. You don’t want to find out on the deck of the Titanic that the person you’ve placed your love and trust in can’t be too inconvenienced to share their life vest.

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Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights, Love Or Obsession, Reasons and Excuses

A Sexy Story From My College Years (But Not In The Way You Think)

I know this post may be a little late. I would’ve posted it sooner, but I wanted to capture the sexier elements in just the right way because those elements are worth capturing. If I’m going to be a successful erotica/romance writer, then I need to make those details count. Like love, sex, and the stories I write, there needs to be an equal balance of quality and quantity.

With summer ending, most kids and college students are already back in class, grinding away at textbooks, tests, and homework. It’s not a pleasant transition, going from sleeping in on a Tuesday to having to get up at six in the morning just to catch a bus full of half-asleep kids.

I’ve made no secret about my poor experience with school. I’ve even shared a few stories that highlight just how miserable and socially awkward I was. I’d like to change things up a bit and add a little sex appeal, as I often try to do. Believe it or not, there were parts of my education that were actually enjoyable. I’ll give everyone a moment to stop gasping.

Most of those moments, however, didn’t come in high school. They came in college. Yes, those were truly enlightening years and not just because I lived away from home, had a high-speed internet connection, and could eat dinner whenever I damn well felt like it.

They were also the years where I had my first steady girlfriend. They were the years where my ambitions to become an erotica/romance writer really picked up, thanks to some of the friends I made and the teachers I met. It was also the time my acne problem finally cleared up. By any measure, it was a huge step up from high school. It was my first true taste of adulthood and I liked it.

Beyond the improved living situation and a steady decline in misery, college exposed me to more than a few sexy situations. Some of them involved me as a participant. Others involved my friends and random strangers who were overly friendly. I’ve been debating just how much or how little of those experience I should share on this blog.

Then, I remembered this site can never have too much sex appeal so I’d like to share one of the more colorful experience I had during my college years. For those who are returning to college, just starting college, or just a few years away from college, I can’t say your experience will be the same. I’m just saying the potential is there.

For this particular story, I need to establish a bit of context. It occurred in the early parts of my senior year and it involves a party, as is often the case with many sexy college stories.

The year before, I had a roommate that I became good friends with. Of all the roommates I had, I probably got along with him the most. He returned the favor by inviting me to this big birthday party of his at a house he and three other guys now shared. They basically cleared the entire first floor to throw this party. It wasn’t quite on the level of “Animal House,” but it had a few similar themes.

I arrived after the music started playing and the drinks started flowing. It was already pretty damn hectic, but I quickly found my roommate and we caught up. There was plenty of food, beer, and pretty much everything you’d expect at a party. My roommate, being real tech-savvy, even built this elaborate stereo system that blared music at a level that felt just like a club.

As I got comfortable, I started dancing a little. At the same time, I began admiring the ladies that had attended the party. There were definitely more than a few. In terms of raw numbers, there was about an equal amount of women and men at this party. Apparently, loud music, free food, and beer attracts both genders. What a concept, right?

I talk to a few of them. I even flirt a little. Keep in mind, though, I’m still more socially awkward than most. On top of that, I had broken up with my girlfriend the year before and found out she’s with someone else. I’m not exactly in the best state of mind to hook up with someone. That, however, isn’t part of the spectacle.

That only happens towards the end of the party, which is past midnight and well after plenty have exceeded the legal limit for alcohol intake. While I didn’t see anyone throw up, I could easily pick out which among them would be badly hung over the next morning. That didn’t stop one particular couple from going for broke.

For the sake of this person’s privacy and dignity, which I’m pretty sure he surrendered that night, I won’t say his name. For now, I’ll just call him Brad. He and his girlfriend helped plan my roommate’s party. I actually knew the guy somewhat because he dropped by my dorm to visit me and my roommate fairly often.

Brad never struck me as much of a party animal. If you saw him in a crowd, he would be the last guy you’d think would cut loose and do something crazy or sexy at a party. He’s no John Belushi or Sean William Scott. He basically looked like a thinner version of Leonard Hofstadter from “The Big Bang Theory.”

At this party, though, I’m pretty sure Brad could kick Leonard’s ass, sleep with Penny, and get Howard to lick dog shit off his boots. What Brad lacked in size and muscle mass, he more than made up for in other areas and I’m not just talking about his endowment. The fact his girlfriend was pretty hot was already proof of that.

He put all of these traits on full display in what became the finale of this party. Just as people are about to leave and get a head start on their hangover, Brad plays one last round of music. Keep in mind, he’s had five beers and several jello shots. He’s more than a little inebriated and so his his girlfriend.

To take full advantage of this intoxication, he decides to do something special for his girlfriend and everyone else watching. He sits her down on the small, but dirty couch that already has a number of food and beers stains on it. Then, he channels his inner Chippendale dancer, and gives his girlfriend the kind of lap dance reserved for an uncut version of “Magic Mike.”

Picture, for a moment, someone who you would never expect of having much sex appeal suddenly becoming Channing Tatum. He’s thin, he’s pale, and his lanky, but that doesn’t matter. In this moment on this night, he’s the sexiest son-of-a-bitch on the planet and his girlfriend knows it.

I’m not going to apologize for putting that mental image in your head, a lanky guy giving his girlfriend a lap dance. Believe me when I say it a lot sexier than you think. This guy went all out, licking his girlfriend’s neck, shaking his ass in her face, and even doing a handstand right there on the spot. If I hadn’t seen it myself, I never would’ve believed it.

It worked too. I remember his girlfriend’s face lighting up like a kid who just saw a pool full of chocolate fudge. Sure, she too was pretty drunk, but she had that look on her face that said, “Every man on campus is going to envy your dick after tonight. I promise!”

Now, I don’t claim to know the intimate workings of their relationship. Maybe this was their thing and it was how they kept things hot. Maybe it was just a one-time thing they did under the influence of alcohol. Whatever the dynamics, it captured a moment and a feeling perfectly. It was sexy, affectionate, and loving, all at the same time. I honestly can’t think of a more beautiful spectacle at a party.

Brad’s performance earned him the biggest applause of the night. Even my roommate, the birthday boy, gave him props. After that, I don’t remember seeing where Brad and his girlfriend went. They kind of disappeared after the crowd dispersed and the music stopped. I can only imagine that they had the kind of sex that put all the novels I’ve written to shame.

That night was a memorable night, albeit for reasons I didn’t expect. That happened a lot in college. It was so different from high school, which was so regimented and structured. I actually got a chance to explore things in college. That proved both enlightening and sexy.

I hope those returning to college, or just starting college, have similar experiences. It’s a wonderful time in your life and it’s something worth cherishing. I certainly cherished that party. I don’t know what came of Brad or his girlfriend, but I like to think they cherished that night as well for the best possible reasons.

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The (Potential) Sex Lives Of Generation Z

Talk to any parent with kids younger than 13 and chances are they do not want to think about their children’s’ future sex lives. In fact, I’m pretty sure that they would rather think about anything else.

Some parents would rather stick their heads up the ass of an elephant than think about their precious little gems getting naked, sweaty, and making the kinds of noises usually reserved for the honeymoon suite in Las Vegas. The fact remains, though, that those kids are going to grow up. They’re going to grow breasts, get awkward boners, and feel the urge to hump each other.

I’m not a parent yet so I can’t say much about what goes into those thoughts. I get that parents are very uncomfortable talking to their children about sex. Kids are just as uncomfortable learning about it from parents. Most kids would rather pour boiling water into their eyes than catch their parents in a compromising moment.

On both sides of the equation, there’s an inherent aversion to imagining the sex lives of young people. There’s just as much of an aversion by young people to talk about their sex lives with their parents. On this blog, there is no such aversion. I already talk about sex robots and bionic penises. Those kinds of aversions have no place here.

I say all this as a preface, of sorts, because I’m about to talk about the future sex lives of Generation Z. In case you’ve forgotten, most of the individuals who fall in the range of Generation Z aren’t even old enough to drive, let alone legally hump. A lot of them don’t even know what sex is. They just know to start giggling uncontrollably when someone starts talking about it.

In talking so much about millennials and Generation Z lately, it was only a matter of time before I started talking about their sex lives. Given how much I enjoy speculating on the future of sex, how could I resist?

Like it or not, it’s going to become an issue at some point. That’s because it always becomes an issue when a generation comes of age. Baby Boomers caught a lot of crap from their parents because they started the whole “free love” movement. Generation X caught crap from their parents for ditching the love part, in favor of “friends with benefits.”

At the moment, the millennials are getting their share of crap for things like sexting, which I’ve talked about, or arguing about how attractive people should think Kaitlin Jenner is. The dynamics may change and so do the excuses. The underlying themes are the same, though. Older people will always be appalled by how young people approach their sex lives.

So what exactly will Generation Z do that will horrify the multiple generations that came before them? Given the prevalence of internet porn and the mainstream success of “50 Shades of Grey,” how can they possibly do anything to shock anyone at this point?

Well, as an aspiring erotica/romance writer who thinks more about this issue than most would dare, I have a few ideas. I’ve already contemplated the potential secrets and mentality of Generation Z. Now, I’d like to take those secrets to kinkier depths.

Before I get to those juicy parts, though, I need to remind everyone that I can’t see the future. I’m about as qualified to predict popular trends as I am to wrestle a grizzly bear. It’s very likely that some of these sexy speculations turn out to be dead wrong. A decade from now, I might look like a total idiot for making these predictions. I wouldn’t be the first either.

With that unsexy disclaimer out of the way, here’s what I think we can expect for the sex lives of Generation Z. If you’re a parent, you might want to look away or temper your gag reflex. Some of these speculations might churn your stomach.


Sexy Trend #1: Fetishes (Especially The Kinky Kind) Will Dominate

When it comes to the average sex life in the day of Generation Z, kink is the new normal. Weird is the new ordinary. If it’s freaky, over-the-top, and involves clowns with dildos, then that’s going to get this burgenoning generation horny in ways that will disturb every other generation before it.

With Generation Z, sex will be likely be defined by a multitude of fetishes. At the moment, the fetish world is a niche market, but one that’s already growing. However, it’s a market that Generation Z will take to the next level and beyond, much to the horror of their parents.

Ironically, it’s those same parents from Generation X and the millennials that will have laid the groundwork for this trend. This is the generation that built the internet and internet porn, by default. Generation Z is coming into a world where anyone with a phone can look up countless images and videos of people having sex. It’s so prevalent that it barely qualifies as taboo anymore.

It’s for that exact reason that Generation Z will seek something kinkier. Young people always feel inclined to rebel against their parents. Their parents made a big deal whenever someone found a dirty magazine or unlocked the parental controls on the internet. Generation Z won’t make a big deal of anything unless someone is pierced, tattooed, or wearing a horse mask.

In a future with unlimited internet access to unlimited volumes of porn, those in Generation Z will likely define their sexuality by their own personal kinks. They’ll be more inclined to customize their sexuality, so to speak. It’s hard to know what kinds of fetishes they’ll develop. Whatever the case, I’ll have to adapt my sexy novels accordingly.


Sexy Trend #2: Talking About Sex Will Be (Uncomfortably) Blunt

For most people, talking about sex can either make your pants feel tighter or your stomach churn, depending on the situation. While I generally favor the former, there are still plenty of situations where the latter occurs. I’m pretty sure that’s the case with every kid who endured health class in high school.

With Generation Z, it’s likely that the nature of that conversation will change. It’ll still be awkward. Talking about sex always will be, to some extent. However, a new crop of youth, educated by their already-educated parents, will probably be a lot less filtered. To illustrate what I mean, here’s a quick scenario that may play out in the future.

Man: So, you like sex?

Woman: Yeah, I love sex.

Man: Cool. How do you like to do it?

Woman: I like being on top, having my nipples pinched, and licking chocolate off a man’s balls.

Man: You’re in luck. I happen to love licking chocolate off a woman’s vulva. Want to have sex later tonight? I’ve got plenty of chocolate.

Woman: Sure! Here’s my number. I’ll see you then.

I can already imagine Baby Boomers, millennials, and the Generation X crowd cringing and/or laughing. It sounds so crude, like only something a guy who writes sexy novels would contemplate.

Well, I’m not saying my novels are prophetic, but that overly blunt approach may be the natural reaction to everything previous generations have set up. It was Generation X that began the movement of political correctness that made everyone so anxious about the words they used. It was the millennials who took it a step further with their obsession over gender pronouns and cultural appropriation.

Generation Z is in a perfect position for a backlash, of sorts. They’ll see their parents and grandparents’ anxiety over using the wrong words and do the exact opposite. That means they will likely be a lot more blunt, graphic, and up front about sex, how they like it, and how they go about getting it. I’ll give every parent a moment to writhe in terror.


Sexy Trend #3: Emphasizing Quality (Orgasms) Over Quantity (Partners)

Not every generation sees the sexual practices of their parents and does the exact opposite. Sure, Baby Boomers did a lot of that with the sexual revolution, but Generation X and the millennials basically rode the wave of certain sexual trends. Generation Z will likely do the same.

One of those trends involves an overall reduction of sexual partners. I’ve talked before about the overall decline in sexual activity among young people today. Not all of that has to do with people becoming more uptight, though. Some of that has more to do with economic factors, as well as men and women wanting to build careers before they forge relationships.

While it’s much harder to predict what kind of economy Generation Z will experience, it does seem likely that they’ll continue the trends established by their parents and grandparents. That’s not to say that they’ll become Puritans. It’s more an issue of how they’ll channel their sexual energy.

Along with being more inclined to follow a fetish, those in Generation Z will likely focus less on the amount of sex they have and more on the quality. While that may be bad news for the orgy industry, it could be good news for those seeking love, like myself.

The world, as we know it, is becoming increasingly customizable. We can customize our clothes, our phones, our social media identities, and even our avatars in games. The ability to customize our sex lives in accord with our various kinks seems like a natural extension. In a world full of billions of people, all connected through the web, it’ll be that much easier to find someone who can make you come in just the way you want.

I’ll give every other generation a moment to withhold their raging jealousy.


Sexy Trend #4: Sexier Tech (Beyond Sexting)

Connected to every sexual trend, both with Generation Z and all previous generations, is the impact of technology. The birth control pill was a huge influence on Baby Boomers. The internet was a huge influence on Generation X and Millennials. There are other technologies that we don’t even know about that will likely influence Generation Z.

Some of that technology is already emerging. We’re seeing it with the rise of smart devices, including smart sex toys. We’re also seeing smartphones evolve beyond just taking pictures of pets and sending nude photos. Millennials may have made practices like sexting more common, but Generation Z will have far more tools at their disposal.

Already, tech companies are investing heavily in virtual reality and augmented reality. The devices that Generation Z ends up using will do far more than send naked pictures. As the internet showed previous generations, if it can be used for porn, then it will be used for porn eventually. Don’t think for a second someone isn’t working on that right now.

Beyond better tools to express their sexuality in new ways, there’s also the potential impact of disease-fighting tools like CRISPR and new forms of contraception like Vasalgel. Given how the pill affected the Baby Boomers and how AIDS affected Generation X, it’s hard to overstate the implications for Generation Z if they enter a world of no disease and advanced contraception.

It may very well be the wild card, of sorts. Whenever limits on sexual expression are removed, people tend to react. Some of those advancements might not come until Generation Z has started having kids of their own, but they will have an impact at some point.

Even with those implications, it doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the impact that sex robots will have. However, that’s one advance that will affect all generations and not just Generation Z, probably in ways that are too kinky for one blog.


Sexy Trend #5: More (Sexy And Unsexy) Experimentation

As part of all the other trends I’ve listed, there’s one that sort of connects them all. Generation Z will enter a very different sexual world than that of their parents or grandparents. Beyond the gadgets they use or the accessibility of information about sex, they’ll have an unprecedented ability to connect, learn, and grow sexually.

As a result, it’s very likely that Generation Z will be one of the most sexually adventurous cohort in history. By that, I don’t mean they’ll be having more sex in utility closets and airplane bathrooms. I’m talking about the kind of experimentation that hasn’t even crossed the minds of those who don’t regularly write about sex. Given my knack for writing sexy novels, I like to think I have an advantage.

If Generation Z has a greater ability to exercise their various fetishes, connect with others who share those fetishes, and use advances in technology to mitigate the risks, then there’s nothing stopping them from attempting novel forms of sexual expression.

Maybe their concept of role playing will expand. Maybe the way they set the mood or initiate sex will change. Maybe they’ll put together the kinds of sexy scenarios that only a porn producer on crack would come up with. It’s impossible to know, but they’ll be in a perfect position to try. In matters of sex, you only really need to give people an opportunity and a way to mitigate the risks.

To millennials, and every other generation, it’ll come off as decadent. Even if the Generation Z crowd ends up having less sex with fewer people, those kinds of attitudes will still shock and horrify the older crowd. Some of that might be out of jealousy. I’m sure there are those who simply wish they had access to better contraception and disease-fighting tools when they were younger and hornier.

At the end of the day, though, this may be Generation Z’s idea of normal. To have all these tools and opportunities, but not explore their limits would seem weird to them. It may be the only sexual trend that all generations share. From their perspective, every generation’s sexual proclivities seem weird.

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Filed under Current Events, Jack Fisher's Insights, Marriage and Relationships, Second Sexual Revolution

Rick Sanchez: Hero Of Generation Z?

Every generation has heroes, icons, rebels, and blowhards. While they don’t always define that generation, they often act as their voice. Sometimes, they even become a metaphor that embodies their hopes, dreams, and struggles. Other times, they reflect just how screwed up certain parts of that generation became.

The Baby Boomers had the Beatles, JFK, MLK, the Rolling Stones, and the average hippie. Generation X had Nirvana, MTV, NWA, “The Simpsons,” “South Park,” and Bill Clinton. For better or for worse, these people embodied the spirit and attitudes of that generation. Sure, the worse tends to make more headlines, but those who are part of that generation fondly remember the better.

The book is still being written on the millennial generation, which I’m just barely a part of. They’ve still assembled their share of heroes and icons. Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and Barack Obama would definitely fit into that category. I would also list Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, and Kanye West as musical icons. For heroes, I’d basically put the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe on that list.

That list of heroes and icons is still in flux for millennials because many of them are still young. They’ve yet to go through the natural evolution of a generation where spirits get crushed, rebuilt, crushed a few more times, and then stitched back together in a way that embodies the breadth of their story.

For Generation Z, who I’ve also been talking about, that story is barely beginning. Most of that generation isn’t even old enough to drive or buy a beer, let alone establish who their heroes and icons are. Right now, much of their identity is still tied to that of their millennial parents.

Make no mistake, though. They’re going to rebel against those parents. Every generation does that. It’s like laws that govern gravity, atoms, or the inherent appeal of female breasts. They see what they’re parents are doing, decide that it’s “uncool,” and try to forge their own path. Along the way, they often forge new heroes and icons.

I’ll give millennial parents a moment to dread this process. At the moment, though, Generation Z is still too young to latch onto any icon that isn’t a stuffed animal, a homework assignment, or a game they can play on a smartphone. However, that doesn’t mean some aren’t already emerging.

Once again, I’m going to try and speculate here. That means I need to make the same disclaimer I did with my last post about Generation Z where I say I am woefully unequipped to predict the future. I’m an aspiring erotica/romance writer. I’m as qualified to predict the future as an unlicensed plumber. Please keep that in mind as I attempt to make sense of a generation too young to pay its own phone bill.

I’m still going to take that chance because I feel like there is an icon emerging, as we speak. He already resonates with a sizable crowd of disillusioned individuals from previous generations. In some respects, he’s a force for utterly deconstructing everything that Generation X, Baby Boomers, and millennials held dear. As a result, he may very well be the first hero/icon that Generation Z rallies around.

To complicate matters even further, he’s not even a real person. He’s a cartoon character on a show that doesn’t air on Saturday mornings. I’ve talked about him before and I’ll probably talk about him again for any number of reasons. His name is Rick Sanchez, the raging alcoholic, nihilistic super-genius from “Rick and Morty,” the greatest show on TV that doesn’t feature a naked Emilia Clarke.

Those who watch “Rick and Morty” as avidly as I do are probably cringing at the idea of him being the voice of any generation, let alone the one the millennials are creating. This is a character who once turned himself into a pickle to get out of going to family therapy. I swear that last sentence is real. Trust me, it’s even crazier than it sounds.

I could spend multiple blog posts talking about the various antics, exploits, and traits of Rick Sanchez. I could spend even more posts talking about why a show like “Rick and Morty” is so unique compared to every other cartoon, sitcom, or TV show managed. I may end up talking about Rick Sanchez almost as much as I talk about X-men comics and Wonder Woman.

For now, though, I’m going to restrict the discussion to why Rick Sanchez may be their first iconic voice of a new generation. If you’ve read my post about the possible secrets that this generation may possess, I recommend you check that out first. That’ll help make sense of why Rick Sanchez embodies many of the traits that may shape Generation Z.

If there’s one trait that makes Rick Sanchez stand out, even more so than his raging alcoholism or trademark portal gun, it’s his unique brand of nihilism. Granted, it’s not the same nihilism that would’ve made sense to its champions in the 19th century. They probably would’ve drawn a line at turning themselves into a pickle. With Rick Sanchez and Generation Z, the context here is more subtle.

Throughout the various antics in “Rick and Morty,” there’s one common theme. Nothing you do really matters in the grand scheme of things. Nobody has an inherent purpose. There’s nothing mystical, special, or unique about you or the world you live in. Even Friedrich Nietzsche would find that extreme.

As a result, none of the conflicts that play out in “Rick and Morty” follow the traditional path of a story. It’s basically the antithesis of every cartoon, sitcom, or general narrative that we all follow in high school English classes. In the world of Rick Sanchez, all that crap is a total farce.

In many cases, especially in episodes like “Meseeks And Destroy” and “Ricksy Business,” the conflict is either forcibly contrived by someone or is revealed to have never been a conflict in the first place. In most cases, Rick Sanchez already knows this and usually can’t be bothered to make much of it. He’s so smart, so capable, and so devoid of ethical boundaries that there’s really no conflicts he can’t resolve with ease.

This is part of why I highlighted him as an anti-hero forged, in part, by boredom. The issue for him is that because he’s so smart, he’s aware that he’s part of a vast multi-verse filled with infinite versions of himself, his family, and everyone he’s ever dealt with. He’s even made allies and enemies with alternate versions of himself in some episodes. It basically reinforces the notion that nothing he or anyone does truly matters.

It doesn’t matter of he succeeds at anything. In another universe, he failed. Conversely, it doesn’t matter if he fails either because in another universe, he succeeds. The biggest example of this, by far, is the events of “Rick Potion Number 9.”

In that episode, Rick and Morty essentially destroy their entire world. Every human being gets turned into a monster and civilization collapses. Rick’s solution to this is as simple as it is pointless. He and Morty just travel to another universe where he did succeed, but died afterwards. They just go to that universe, bury their own bodies, and take their place.

It might be one of the most disturbing, but telling messages of the show. While Morty is horribly traumatized, Rick just shrugs it off. One minute, he’s burying his own body. The next, he’s drinking a beer and watching TV. That’s because he understands how pointless everything is in the grand scheme of things.

In a sense, Morty’s trauma is a metaphor for the millennial mindset. Many millennials are so driven by their sense of passion, social justice, and community. When that gets shattered, it’s pretty traumatic. That’s why a lot of millennials will suffer a major meltdown at some point in their lives. I know this because I’ve had more than a few.

Conversely, Rick Sanchez is the perfect response to that mindset. He’s so smart, aware, and informed that he understands all that drive means nothing in the grand scheme of things. In world that’s so small in a universe that’s unimaginably big, all those hysterical theatrics are pointless.

It’s because Rick’s attitudes are so utterly opposed to those of millennials like Morty that it’ll strike a greater chord with Generation Z than it will with any other generation. Unlike all previous generations, this is a cohort of people that is actually over-educated and over-informed.

Yes, it is possible to be too educated and too informed. The millennials, the most educated generation of all time, have already begun crossing that line. They helped forge a society that has unlimited access to information and is more socially accessible than any generation before it.

However, in recent years, all that information and education has unveiled a problem that only someone like Rick Sanchez could’ve foreseen. Given the sheer breadth of information, as well as the inherent chaos that comes with people in general, it’s impossible to know what’s real, what’s fake, and what’s just plain stupid.

Most of Generation Z isn’t even old enough to drive, but they’ll be entering a world where known falsehoods are alternative facts, all news is fake, everybody lies, and nobody can be trusted. The implications are unavoidable. If everyone is special, then nobody is special. If nobody is right, then it doesn’t matter how wrong everyone is.

That’s not to say there’s no meaning, whatsoever. Even Rick Sanchez shows throughout “Rick and Morty” that he is driven by something. It’s just not the same crap that drove millennials, Baby Boomers, or Generation X. In a sense, everything that drives Rick is more petty and personal.

Rick uses people, selfishly indulges in self-destructive vices, and crosses any line he has to, even before he knows its there. He does all of this because while he understands that there is no meaning to what he does, he still challenges himself. Sometimes it’s just because he can. Sometimes it’s because he really likes a certain flavor of dipping sauce.

Rick Sanchez doesn’t just understand this. He basically lives it in every episode and he’s fine with that. He doesn’t try to prove himself to anyone, even other versions of himself. He doesn’t bother virtue signaling or making excuses. He just does what he does, understands it’s meaningless, and enjoys himself along the way.

That, more than anything, is what will resonate with Generation Z. They’re inheriting a world where uncertainty is the only certainty. Their millennial parents whined and protested about it. They just accept it, shrug it off, and watch TV like Rick. That’s what will make him a true voice for a burgeoning generation.

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Filed under Celebrities and Celebrity Culture, Current Events, Jack Fisher's Insights

The (Possible) Secrets Of Generation Z (And Why We’ll Be Appalled By Them)

Every time I write a post that requires me to speculate, I always write a disclaimer at some point that makes clear I am not some psychic soothsayer who can see the future in any meaningful capacity. If I were, then the last PowerBall jackpot would’ve had a very different outcome.

Nobody knows the future. Nobody can possibly know, given how erratic we are as a species and a society. Seriously, who the hell could’ve predicted that fidget spinners would be a thing?

That said, I do think it’s a necessary mental exercise, of sorts, to speculate on certain elements of the future. By that, I don’t mean next week’s lotto numbers or who will win in Fantasy Football. I’m talking more in terms of the bigger picture.

I’ve speculated before on many elements of the future, from the prospects of a second sexual revolution to the sex lives of enhanced humans. In each of these speculations, I freely admit that I could be dead wrong and this will be no different because I’m about to speculate about a topic that’s much more immediate.

It doesn’t involve technology, brain implants, or whatever crazy venture that Elon Musk and Richard Branson are cooking up. It has to do with the next generation that will follow those constantly-texting, selfie-taking, latte-loving millennials that everyone loves whining about these days.

It will happen. It has already started happening. Millennials may be having less sex, but they’re still having sex. That means babies are being born. That means there will be another generation of people after the millennials start getting old, whiny, and cantankerous.

At the moment, this generation doesn’t have much of an identity. It barely has a name. Some call it Generation Z or the Cloud Generation. Since they’re so young and they haven’t been around long enough to do anything to earn them a more creative nickname, I’ll just go with calling them Generation Z.

It’s hard to know much about them, right now. Nobody even knows what sort of age range they belong in, but for the moment, Generation Z is primarily defined as the cohort of people born after 2001. They are basically the generation that has never been influenced by the 90s, dial-up internet, or the pre-terrorism days when you could still carry bottles of shampoo on a airplane.

They are also a generation born into a world where social media has matured, internet access is a necessity and not a luxury, and talking to devices that talk back is considered normal. They have some very unusual factors guiding them, many of which previous generations created and none of which they had any say in shaping.

It’s hard to know much about what defines this new generation, if only because they’re still teenagers who haven’t entered the workforce or started voting yet. That will change in the next few years. It won’t be long before the generation that those overly-connected, over-caffeinated millennial hipsters spawned starts to mature.

That still begs many questions to marketing departments, fashion magazines, and older people looking for a new batch of youth to whine about. What kind of people will Generation Z be? What sort of attitudes, tendencies, and mentalities will they embrace? Who will their leaders, heroes, and icons be?

These questions are still impossible to answer, but Generation Z is growing. I’ve already got a number of nephews and cousins, some of which are still in diapers, who will be part of this generation. I’m sure many reading this blog have family members who will be part of that generation as well.

Every generation has their share of challenges and quirks. Since I fall squarely in the age-range of the millennial crowd, I have some insight into those issues. That’s why I felt at least partially qualified when I wrote my article on the dark secrets of the millennial mind. I’m far less qualified to know the secrets of Generation Z, but I’m still going to try.

Make no mistake. Generation Z will have certain quirks that will annoy the hell out of millennials. They’ll probably end up annoying baby boomers and those of Generation X even more. I’m sure once they get old enough to start making a scene, there will be even more jokes about them than there are about millennials.

Until then, we can only speculate on the kinds of secrets that will shape Generation Z and all whining other generations will do about them. I’m not looking forward to so much whining, but I will still attempt to find a context for it.

With all that in mind, what follows is a list of the potential dark secrets that Generation Z will possess and how those secrets will annoy older people to no end. Again, I am woefully unqualified to make predictions about the future and there’s a very high chance that what I write will be dead wrong. Please keep that in mind before you start lamenting about the attitudes of your future children.


Potential Secret #1: They Will Be The Most Nihilistic Generation Of All Time

Every generations is, to some extent, a reaction of the previous generation and those that came before it. If one generation is upbeat, then the other is cynical. If one is uptight, then the other is rebellious. It’s not quite a cycle because the extent is always changing, but the dynamics are fairly common.

It’s because of those dynamics that Generation Z will very likely be the ultimate personification of nihilism. I’m not just talking the Friedrich Nietzsche style, existence-has-no-meaning type of mentality that inspired every goth band ever made. Generation Z will likely embrace a more passive form of nihilism.

Think about the outrage that previous generations have voiced on any number of issues. Baby Boomers voiced a lot of outrage about the Vietnam War. Generation X voiced outrage about outdated, corrupt traditions. Millennials voiced outrage about fake news, quasi-fascists, and poor wi-fi. Generation Z will be influenced by all of this and will respond with a resounding “meh.”

Here’s a scenario that should illustrate that sentiment.

Baby Boomers: “You kids are a bunch of self-entitled, narcissistic deviants who have no idea how good you have it! You ought to be ashamed!”

Millennials: “You kids are destroying the world! You’re empowering racists, fascists, sexists, homophobes with your actions and inactions! You ought to be ashamed!”

Generation Z: “Yeah, so what? In the long run, it really doesn’t matter.”

That’s the main crux of any debate for Generation Z. They’re born into a world where the sheer volume of media, information, and access is so big, so vast, and so overwhelming that they feel like tiny specks of sand within a digital ocean. Their perspective is one of inherent smallness.

Nothing they say will ever be loud enough for most people to hear. Nothing they do will be significant enough to stand out. Between that information and being the kids of highly-educated millennials, they will see just how small and pointless they are in a world so big and complex.

By the time Generation Z comes of age, there could be nearly 8 billion people on this planet, many with access to the same internet, social media feeds, and every kind of news source, fake or otherwise. They will feel so small in such a large global community that the passions of the millennials will feel pointless.

This will be what really frustrates other generations, especially the millennials. Generation Z will be born into the world of fake news and alternative facts, so much so that the meaning behind news, events, and controversies will be muted.

Generation Z will see beloved celebrities fall, corrupt politicians ascend, and cherished institutions crumble and just shrug their shoulders. They won’t be sad or depressed about it, though. They just won’t waste their energy on it because they see it as pointless in the grand scheme of things.


Potential Secret #2: They Will Be More Conservative (But Not In The Way You Think)

In the same way every generation seems to react to one another in terms of trends, political persuasions often adapt in accord with those trends. By that, I don’t mean they go from one extreme to another. The Baby Boomers were far more liberal than their predecessors, but compared to Generation X and millennials, they’re fairly conservative on a lot of issues.

At the moment, the majority of millennials identify as liberal, at least in the current context of the term. These attitudes will likely shape and influence the politics of Generation Z. They’re being born into a world where the idea of having a black man or a reality TV show host as president is not considered outrageous. As such, they’re going to be pretty numb to political extremes.

It’s for that reason that Generation Z will probably be a bit more conservative than their millennial parents or Generation X grandparents, but they’ll still disagree a great deal with Baby Boomers.

That’s because their kind of conservatism won’t be built on the overtly-religious, pro-business, let’s-trust-the-greedy-folks-running-the-free-market-to-sort-it-out ideology. It’ll be built more on the notion that all the liberal activism that millennials and the Generation X crowd took part in didn’t amount to much, especially compared to the Baby Boomers.

Generation Z will live in a world where they can watch old videos of presidential debates, TV pundits, and college protests and see just how much and how little they accomplished. Sure, they’ll probably be accepting of minorities and relatively lenient on social issues, but it’ll take a lot to get the Generation Z crowd to shake up the political and social norms of their time.

Part of this will likely be due to their inherent nihilism. Another part of this will be having seen their parents call everything a racist, sexist, anti-gay, anti-trans, fascist agenda. Once everything becomes an agenda, it just becomes more trouble than it’s worth and Generation Z won’t bother with that kind of activism. They’ll be too content and/or numb to profane politicians or ridiculous traditions.


Potential Secret #3: They Will Be Obsessed With Purpose Rather Than Passion

This may seem inconsistent with the overall sense of nihilism that I mentioned earlier, but it’s actually the other side of the same coin that may very well define Generation Z. This is the side that every marketing department, mass media company, and aspiring erotica/romance writers need to consider if they’re to appeal to this generation.

Whereas Baby Boomers were driven by rebellion and millennials were driven by passion, the Generation Z crowd will focus on finding something that gives them a sense of purpose. Things like passion, duty, or responsibility will be secondary at best. Those in Generation Z will be striving and struggling for purpose.

Some of that has less to do with nihilism and more to do with trends in the economy. With each passing year, more of our economy and daily lives is being automated. I’ve even talked about the possibilities before, but it’ll be more than a possibility for Generation Z. They’ll be living in it.

By the time my cousins and nephews are legal adults, they’ll be surrounded by virtual assistants who will shop for them and self-driving cars who will drive for them. They may not even live in a world where actual humans check out their groceries anymore.

So much will be automated and/or facilitated for them that they won’t have to toil anywhere nearly as much as previous generations. Working in a factory, a construction site, or even an art studio will be exceedingly rare for the folks of Generation Z. With so many tasks done for them and so little need to toil, what will they do with themselves?

It’s hard to know the specifics. Again, who the hell could’ve predicted the rise of fidget spinners? However, I suspect that those in Generation Z will dedicate most of their time and energy into finding that purpose, whatever it might be. Chances are, it’ll be something that makes millennials and Baby Boomers roll their eyes.

I imagine the lives of Generation Z will be filled with any number of absurd ideas of personal meaning. It may be a weird job, a strange hobby, or an odd new way of doing business. In any case, it won’t matter how absurd it is. So long as it gives them meaning, Generation Z will embrace it to the utmost.


Potential Secret #4: They Will Have No Concept Of Privacy (And Won’t Care)

This probably doesn’t count as much of a secret. We’re already seeing privacy, as we once knew it, erode with each passing year. Millennials took the technology that Generation X helped create and used it to tell the world damn near everything about them. Privacy, for them, might as well be a steam-powered train.

Those within Generation Z will likely continue this trend. It’s a trend that began long before their parents. When trends have roots that deep, they tend to continue. They don’t always manifest in the same way, though. With Generation Z, the lack of privacy will likely take on a distinct twist, compared to their parents.

As transparent as many are in the internet age, both Generation X and millennials still choose their words carefully. They helped create the climate of political correctness that is so easy to despise for its absurdities. Today, voicing any opinion, even if it occurred in private, can become a huge spectacle that costs people their livelihoods, their reputations, and in some cases their lives.

Generation Z will grow up in a world where that climate has caused too many people too much stress. Between that, and living in a world that’s so vast and overwhelming, they’ll probably be even more likely to share every little detail about their lives on the internet. Moreover, they won’t care how offensive or wrong it is to their parents or grandparents.

It’s probably going to appall the millennial generation the most. They’ll be the ones crying, “It’s [insert current year here]! How can you possibly still hold these opinions?” Those of Generation Z will just shrug their shoulders and say, “So what? What does it matter?”

I shudder to think just how detailed they’ll be when it comes to sharing their lives. I’m all for pretty girls sharing pictures of them in a bikini or parents showing adorable pictures of their babies. I’d rather not see more graphic pictures that include the contents of poopy diapers.


Potential Secret #5: They Will Be Emotionally Numbed (To A Point)

In a sense, millennials and the Generation X crowd will be the mad scientists that create the perfect monsters in Generation Z. They’re both defined by varying extremes of being overly passionate about too many things and not being passionate about damn near everything. Basically, they’ll be the children of Kurt Cobain and Taylor Swift.

As a result of those extremes, Generation Z will probably be the most emotionally numb generation to date, at least publicly. That’s not to say they’ll be a bunch of manikins with a pulse. They will still feel emotion. They won’t be entirely Vulcan in their mentality. They’ll just be more channeled with their emotions.

By that, I mean Generation Z will see their emotions as a precious resource that should be reserved for people and things that matter. They’ll have seen their parents get so emotional about all sorts of trivial crap, from who dies in “Game of Thrones” to what sort of political statements that Beyoncé made. They’ll notice how stressful and pointless that was and adapt accordingly.

That probably means that Generation Z will be very hard to market to, in terms of creating a consumer base. Remember, this is a generation that emphasizes purpose, but it doesn’t matter how absurd or inane that purpose is. It’s not enough to just evoke emotional responses with Generation Z. It has to be tied to a purpose.

Everything else outside that purpose, though, isn’t going to jar them in the slightest. They’ll already be living in a world where every emotionally-charged story and image is online, accessible, and blared to everyone with an internet connection. They’ll be fairly numb to the big stuff. They’ll reserve those emotions for the small stuff, the trees within the forest, that really gives their lives meaning.


I hope I haven’t scared everyone over the age of 30 too much. Again, and I’m sorry to belabor this, but these are just speculations on my part. I have no idea what sort of people Generation Z will spawn. Five years from now, this list may be obsolete and I’ll look like an idiot for writing something so wrong.

If you think I’m dead wrong and feel like you have something else to add to this list, please let me know in the comments. I’ll be happy to revise it, especially if it means looking less stupid down the line.

Wrong or not, this new generation is coming. We’re all going to have to live with them and find ways to appeal to them. That includes aspiring erotica/romance writers. So if you start noticing a shift in tone to my sexy novels, as if I’m trying to appeal to a new crowd, you’ll know why.

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Filed under Current Events, gender issues, Second Sexual Revolution, Sexy Future

The (Dark) Secrets Of The Millennial Mind

In recent years, it’s become a popular past-time to hate millennials and anything associated with them. Browse any non-pornographic part of the web for more than five minutes and you’re bound to find some angry anti-millennial rant about how their hashtags, safe spaces, and compulsive need to take selfies is ruining the planet.

I tend to roll my eyes at those articles, just as I tend to roll my eyes at any rant that bashes a particular generation. I’ve read enough random crap and talked to enough bitter old people to know that every generation bashes the other to some extent.

The World War II generation whined about all the hippie types in the Baby Boomer generation. Those same Baby Boomers whined about the brooding, selfish, cynical, I-don’t-care-and-I-don’t-need-anybody attitudes of Generation X. In many respects, the millennials are just next in line. It was bound to happen because it’ll always happen, for as long as old people complain about young people.

Never mind the fact that the millennial generation is the most education generation of all time. Never mind the fact that the millennial generation is the most diverse generation of all time and are coming into a world with the lowest crime rates in modern history. Let’s also not forget that, unlike any other generation before it, millennials are the first generation to have unlimited, near-universal access to information.

No matter what type of world the millennials inherit, or what sort of advantages they have, older generations will find a reason to complain about them. It’s not so much that young people actively rebel against old people, as we see in one too many teen movies. It’s more the fact that they’re young and old people are older. I know that sounds inane, but that’s usually the heart of the issue.

Young people don’t have the same life experiences as old people. They can’t understand their perspectives because they haven’t lived them. Their world, and how they see it, is just so different and that frustrates older people because they can’t relate to it. Some will try, but successes will be limited, at best. As such, every generation is going to seem strange, deviant, and/or frustrating to one another.

I’ve certainly experienced this myself, at times. I think everyone has to some degree. They’re young, they talk to an older person, and that older person tells them all about how much better their generation was. They overcame so much more and did it without the aid of smartphones. Somehow, that makes them inherently better and then they wonder why young people tune them out.

In general, I try not to have those kinds of arguments because they’re pointless. As someone who falls in age range of a millennial, I know there’s nothing I can say or do to convince an older person that my generation is as good or better than theirs. That’s not not an argument anyone can win. It’s also pointless, in the grand scheme of things.

However, I do feel as though the millennial-bashing has gotten out of hand in recent years. It’s not so much that older people are complaining about millennials constantly texting on their phones. It’s more a matter of them conducting themselves in such a strange, erratic way that neither Baby Boomers or Generation X can make sense of.

Anyone who has worked with millennials knows this first-hand. This new crop of young adults are incessantly needy, easily offended, and overly emotional about trivial issues. They are the kinds of people that John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, and Madonna would’ve made fun of at every turn.

Now, I’m not going to try and dispel every myth and stereotype of the millennial crowd. Again, that’s not an argument anyone can win. Since I am a millennial, though, and I’ve worked with many my age, I feel like I can offer some context to the general weirdness of my kind.

I have to warn you, though, that context has some dark undertones. Even other millennials don’t always understand it. In a sense, there are some distressingly subversive forces that inspired many of those annoying stereotypes that other generations despise. Some of them have a basis in events that took place long before their time. Some have a basis in simple human nature.

Whatever the case, the mind of a millennial isn’t all hash-tags and cat videos. It’s actually governed by some pretty dark forces that older generations don’t even try to understand. While I doubt this will earn millennials sympathy from Baby Boomers or the Generation X crowd, I hope it provides some critical insight.

With all that said, here are five dark secrets of the millennial generation. These aren’t necessarily guarded secrets, but they are very much a factor in how they see the world. If you know or work with millennials, I sincerely hope this fosters a greater understanding.


Secret #1: We Are Paralyzed With Uncertainty

This is the first and most critical secret that every generation, including millennials themselves, need to acknowledge. It will help make sense of so many of the weird, annoying things they do, albeit for less-than-flattering reasons.

If you’re wondering why uncertainty is such a big deal to us, then stop for a moment and think about how much or how little you knew about the world in your youth. Before the age of computers and smart phones, your world was small. Everything you knew and needed to know could fit in your street, your city block, or your farm. The only uncertainty you dealt with was what you would have for dinner.

For millennials, the world is much bigger and much more accessible. They are connected, plugged in, and in tuned with mind-bogglingly huge amounts of information, from news to personal insights. On top of that, and this is worth repeating, they are the most educated generation of all time.

While that’s great for trivia games, it does have a major side-effect. As a result of so much education, millennials are basically walking examples of a Socratic Paradox. The more they know, the more they realize they don’t know. It’s a byproduct of learning more than what your limited brain can handle.

I’ve felt this first-hand. Just getting into something like superhero comics is daunting when you start to learn how vast and convoluted their history is. That’s just comics, though. Apply this to the world, as a whole, and millennials are utterly paralyzed by knowing so much and realizing how much more they need to know.

That’s why it’s not uncommon to hear millennials constantly asking for clarification, certainty, or reassurance. They think they know, but they don’t know for sure. With so much information, as well as growing trends in “alternative facts,” it’s almost impossible to be totally certain of all the information at a millennial’s disposal.

Keep that in mind next time a young person is constantly checking their phone. It’s not that they’re detached or inconsiderate. They’re just plagued by uncertainty of not knowing what’s going on, what’s happening with their friends, and how everyone is reacting to them. All that uncertainty kind of requires them to be plugged in all the time and it can be exceedingly stressful, among other things.


Secret #2: We Have (Extreme) Trust Issues

This feeds directly off the crippling uncertainty that millennials deal with. It’s not just a by-product. It’s an inescapable obstacle that comes with being educated, informed, and connected.

Millennials have serious trust issues. I’m not talking about the kind of paranoid, conspiracy theory, the-CIA-put-a-chip-in-my-brain type trust issues either. The extreme trust issues that millennials have is more subtle and, in many ways, a side-effect of trends that began in previous generations.

It was the Baby Boomers and Generation X that began rebelling against authority. They were the ones that started youth protests, giving the finger to authority, and brooding with unending cynicism. They helped exposed leaders and icons as hypocrites, crooks, and frauds.

They exposed multiple presidents as liars. They exposed celebrities as monsters. They exposed the corruption of once-cherished institutions. While all that might have been important with respect to pursuing justice, it also created a world where millennials cannot or are very reluctant to trust anyone.

Thanks to all the information at a millennial’s disposal, they can find out that great figures of history were also racist slave-owners. They can find out that beloved scientists and inventors were bullies. They can find out that the celebrities they love are real assholes. In essence, they can’t trust anyone to be true or genuine.

You want to know why superhero movies have become so huge with millennials? Well, that’s because they have no real-life heroes anymore. They’ve all been destroyed or discredited. They’re basically stuck with fictional heroes. That’s all they have left.

Beyond a lack of heroes and leaders who aren’t total frauds, millennials are so flooded with information that they have a hard time trusting the source. Everything seems biased. Everyone has an agenda. There’s fake news everywhere and nobody seems to know what the hell is going on, which I’ve noted out before.

So when you’re dealing with a millennial and they seem detached, that’s part of the reason. It’s also why they seem misinformed and misguided. They don’t know what or who to trust because every generation before them has given them way too many reasons not to. Add unlimited access to abundant information, fake and real, and how can anyone expect them to trust anything?


Secret #3: We Are Drowning In Debt (That We Can’t Escape)

This is one of those quirky issues that does get reported fairly regularly, but not everyone truly grasps the implications. It’s an undeniable fact that millennials are the most indebted generation of all time. A lot of that has to do with the growth of student loan debt, which recently surpassed credit card debt. There are all sorts of factors that led to this growth, but I want to focus on the effects for this.

Now I’ve seen some Baby Boomers and Generation X people roll their eyes at this issue, claiming that young people are stupid for taking out so much debt, just to get a useless college degree in underwater basket weaving. When most millennials hear that, though, assume they’re gritting their teeth to hold back their blinding rage.

That’s because a huge consortium of parents, guidance counselors, and raunchy movies have glorified college as this important next step that ever young person needs to take after high school. If you don’t take it, then something must be wrong with you. You must be stupid, lazy, or unambitious.

Since so many young people now feel inclined to go to college, that drives up demand. When anything is in that much demand, it gets more expensive. That’s just basic economics.

As a result, millennials have no choice but to take out student loans to go to college, just like the older people said they should. Then, those same people give them crap for taking out so many loans in the first place.

Beyond the frustration, those debt loads can be downright debilitating. When I was in college, I had a friend who had around $120,000 in student loan debt. In years past, that wasn’t a student loan. That was a goddamn mortgage. That means there are entire generations of people coming out of college who basically have to pay the price of a house without being able to live in it.

On top of that, millennials still get crap for having to live with their parents. They are in multiple no-win situations, both in terms of stigma and their overall futures. Unlike most other forms of debt, student loans cannot be discharged in bankruptcy. A millennial is stuck with it, no matter what they do.

If that weren’t enough, and it’s already too much, the job prospects for anyone without a college degree are abysmal. If you don’t have a college degree, then your ability to get a job that keeps you out of poverty is very low. Sure, you can point out that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates didn’t go to college all you want, but they never had to pay off a goddamn mortgage before they were 25.


Secret #4: We Have No Margin For Error (Or Offense)

A lot has been made about how easily offended millennials are. That’s how the term, snowflake, actually became an insult. Now, I don’t deny that young people take political correctness way too far. I’ve even talked about it a few times on my blog. However, like most things, there is a context and it’s kind of dark.

A big part of the millennial desire to not offend anybody comes from the self-esteem movement that began before they left the womb. An entire generation has been conditioned to have a bloated sense of confidence in a world where they can’t trust anyone, are constantly uncertain about everything, and have huge debts to pay. Naturally, that’s going to cause some inner conflict.

It’s not just that millennials hate bullies, racists, sexists, and bigots. For one, millennials are a far more diverse cohort than their predecessors, thanks largely to the efforts of previous generations. They have to be a bit more sensitive and understanding to others who are different because there are so many different perspectives to consider now. Millennials have to temper their sensibilities in order to get along.

Beyond that, and this is where it gets dark, the consequences of screwing up are enormous. Entire lives have been ruined by one off-hand tweet. A single off-hand comment has ruined reputations. In a generation that’s plugged in and connected all the time, nothing you say or do goes without scrutiny. You can’t have any private sentiments. If you do and they’re somewhat problematic, then you’re in trouble.

It’s another reason why millennials are so obsessed with their online life and how people perceive them. They live in a world where one text, one tweet, or one offensive image that they shared on social media can destroy their reputation, their friends, and their livelihood.

People get fired for offending others. Peoples’ lives are ruined, both financially and socially. When you’re young and you have a massive amount of student debt to pay off, you have to walk on egg-shells every day because if you mess up, there’s little recourse. Once something happens and it’s documented on the internet, it’s there forever.

Millennials didn’t create the world that made such hypersensitivity necessary. They also didn’t create the technology that they obsess over either. They were just born into a perfect storm, of sorts. If they dare rock the boat in any direction, then they’re tossed overboard without a life preserver.

Remember this next time a millennial obsesses over offending or not offending someone. It’s not just out of hypersensitivity. It’s basic survival. Older generations who have already carved a place for themselves can afford to be offended, literally in some cases. Millennials don’t have that luxury.


Secret #5: We (Have To) Rely On Our Passion

With every new generation comes new circumstances and with those circumstances comes a need to adapt. The Baby Boomers had to adapt to the generation that won Wolrd War II. Generation X had to adapt to the generation that protested Vietnam. The way they adapted shaped a great deal of their culture and identity. With millennials, it’s no different.

With the other secrets, I’ve described a pretty rough set of circumstances for millennials to adapt to. They’re uncertain, can’t trust anyone, drowning in debt, and living in constant terror of offending someone in a way that will ruin their lives. How can anyone adapt to that?

Well, human beings are nothing if not adaptable. It’s one of our most defining traits. With millennials, the options are limited, but they’ve made the most of them by becoming a very impassioned, very vocal generation. Whereas the Baby Boomers had their rebellious streak and Generation X had their cynicism, millennials have their passions to guide them.

By that, I mean the millennial crowd will put a lot of passion into whatever they do, be it protesting pronouns or posting videos of their cat. Due to debt, uncertainty, and trust issues, there are a lot of boxes they need to check before they commit to something. That’s part of why millennials aren’t getting married and why they’re having less sex. They can’t afford to be too casual, literally in some cases. There needs to be passion.

That’s why millennials will make a big deal about making whatever job or hobby they enjoy having some sort of passionate undertone. It’s how they can fill the many gaps left by so much uncertainty and such limited trust. It’s also how they can justify working a job that they know probably won’t help them pay off that massive debt they have. Without that passion, why would they bother?

The most tragic part of that element is that having such passion is really the only option millennials have in some cases. It’s a big part of why they’ll make such a big deal about certain issues that seem trivial to older generations. The older crowd has options. Millennials don’t.

Having passion, and a lot of it, is a big part of how they drive themselves. Sure, they can get annoying about it. I’ve lost track of how many overly passionate arguments about Wonder Woman’s costume I’ve heard on comic book message boards. When that’s all you really have, though, then that’s what’ll drive you.


While I doubt this will make millennials seem less annoying to older generations, I hope it provides some insight into what makes this generation tick. I don’t claim for a second that these insights are definitive. Millennials, like every generation that came before it, are a diverse group of people full of many variations, some more annoying than others.

However, this is their situation. This is how the world is shaping them. It’s a never-ending struggle, one that’s sure to plague the next generation just as much. I’m sure millennials will find an entirely different set of excuses to whine about that generation. I don’t doubt those excuses will be every bit as petty. I just hope I can sell enough of my novels by then to not care.

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