Category Archives: sex robots

My Discussions With A European Sex Doll Brothel: Perspectives And Insights

When you write a lot about sex robots and sex dolls, like I do, you tend to attract attention. It’s not always the fun kind of attention, but it’s still attention and I welcome it. I’ve been discussing this topic, and writing sexy short stories about it, long enough to make clear that my interest is serious. It really pays off when you connect with others who are equally serious.

That happened recently when some people from an actual sex doll brothel in Europe saw some of my articles. One of their representatives actually reached out to me and we organized a Skype call. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but I was genuinely curious. It’s one thing to write about sex dolls and sex robots. It’s quite another to get actual insight from someone working in that field.

I’m grateful for the opportunity because the discussion we had was incredibly revealing. For the record, and in the interest of full disclosure, the sex doll company in question is called Naughty Harbor. Before you look them up, please note that their website has plenty of NSFW content. They work with sex dolls. That should be a given.

They currently operate out of the Czech Republic. They have facilities for both the manufacturing of sex dolls and for operating a small sex doll brothel. They haven’t been in business for very long, but they have been on the front line of this emerging industry.

The individual I spoke to, whose name I won’t disclose out of respect for his privacy, works closely with the founder and the owner of Naughty Harbor. He shared a great deal of information on the basics of the industry, the people who use it, the challenges of operating in 2020, and the emerging trends. Among the many issues that came up, here are some key highlights.


Issue #1: The Taboos And Stigma Of Sex Dolls Still Very Strong

This was probably the largest and most pressing challenge for Naughty Harbor and companies like it. Like most things related to sex, there are a host of taboos about sex dolls. From the people to use them to the people who buy them to the people who develop genuine connections with them, the stigma surrounding them is still incredibly strong.

At the same time, the demand for companionship and sexual experience is also strong. That’s never going away, no matter how much taboo or stigma is heaped upon it. Just ask the Catholic Church. That’s what drives the sex doll industry. With sex doll brothels now starting to emerge, the taboo is starting to wane to some degree.

The individual from Naughty Harbor explained how big a deal privacy was for customers. Some wanted absolutely no face-time with anyone. They wanted what amounted to a no-contact experience. They just call ahead of time, have someone set up a room with a sex doll, and have all the transactions occur behind a computer screen with complete anonymity.

It’s not unlike the type of no-contact deliveries that have become so common during the ongoing pandemic. It’s not like walking into a legal brothel, standing in front of a bunch of sex workers, and doing business out in the open. Even in places with liberal sex work laws, like Europe, the desire for privacy is still critical.

That’s likely to remain the same as more sex doll brothels open up. However, this is also where our discussion brought up other key insights.


Issue #2: The Pandemic’s Effect On The Industry

Like any industry, the ongoing that same pandemic I mentioned earlier is affecting the sex doll industry. The representative said outright that there has been a noticeable uptick in interest and sales. That makes sense too. People who have been stuck at home for weeks on end are bound to get lonely. Even if you live in a place with legal sex work, a pandemic is kind of a mood killer.

These sex dolls are suddenly seen as both a viable option and one that’s safer. You can clean a sex doll. In fact, Naughty Harbor reported that they’ve developed a very diligent process for sanitizing their sex dolls. It’s at a point where these sex dolls, including the ones being used at the brothel, are cleaner than your hands are this very instant.

For those who’ve become very conscious of germs and disease, as most of us have been under the pandemic, this is key. It’s an element of control and assurance you can’t get with a flesh and blood sex worker. It’s not even something you can get with a typical partner. There’s value in that and it outweighs any stigma or taboo.

While I wasn’t privy to exact numbers, Naughty Harbor did indicate that business has been strong for sex doll brothels during the pandemic. They’re expected to remain strong, even after the pandemic passes. If anything, it has shown people that this industry can provide a legitimate sexual outlet and that can be very beneficial for people.


Issue #3: Research And Benefits

Another interesting issue that came up was the ongoing research surrounding the use of sex dolls. Naughty Harbor is playing an active role in that effort. According to the representative, both manufacturers and sex doll brothel owners are coordinating with researchers who are interested in this field.

Make no mistake. The interest is growing and not just because of the pandemic.

Even before people were isolating in the name of public health, research into the effects of loneliness were painting some pretty bleak conclusions. Considering that humans are a social species, which I’ve belabored before, this makes a lot of sense. Can sex dolls help with this?

Naughty Harbor believes that it can. Researchers are interested in just how much or how little help that a sex doll can provide. Even though they’re not alive, the mere facsimilia of human companionship is certain to have a tangible impact on someone’s psyche. The nature and extent of that impact remains unknown, but will be a key point of interest.

Between social isolation due to pandemics and the emerging concerns regarding the incel phenomenon, sex dolls could provide key points of interest. We’ll need that perspective, especially as sex dolls become more lifelike and eventually become sex robots.


Issue #4: They’re Getting More Lifelike

In addition to the social impact, we also talked quite a bit about the technology. The sex dolls of Naughty Harbor are quite lifelike, but you’d never mistake them for an actual person from afar. They’re still getting incredibly close, though. They’re just on the edge of that uncanny valley in which most sex dolls and sex robots operate at the moment.

The fact they still look artificial may be part of what fuels the taboo, but the technology is changing rapidly. The individual I spoke to says it’s getting both better and faster. Companies like Naughty Harbor are already using technology like 3D printing to both build and repair sex dolls. They’re also using better silicone blends that better mimic the feel of real human flesh.

They’re getting to a point where they can look like real people. They’re also at a point where they can be made to look exceedingly unreal for those with specific fantasies. That was something Naughty Harbor said is a growing trend. Those who seek the use of sex dolls don’t just want sex. They want an experience and they’re willing to pay for it.

Accommodating those fantasies is currently a niche market, but one that’s getting easier as the manufacturing processes are improving. It’s getting to a point where the only issue is scale, which is more a logistics challenge than a technical challenge.


Issue #5: They’re Getting Cheaper

Five years ago, if you wanted to buy a well-made sex doll, chance are you’d have to spend upwards of $5,000 to $7,000. There are used cars that cost less than that. That kind of cost is also a major barrier for those seeking an experience with a sex doll. It’s also helped keep the industry shrouded in taboo.

Today, that cost is not nearly as big a barrier as it once was. While many high-end sex dolls still cost thousands, many quality models now can be bought for less than $3,000. It’s less the cost of a used car and more the cost of a large appliance, like a refrigerator or washing machine. The models offered by Naughty Harbor range between $3,000 and $1,800.

That’s still not cheap, but it’s trending in a cheaper direction. In our conversation, we both agreed that once the price drops below $1,000, then the market will start to expand. I think there’s a psychological component to seeing something that costs less than four figures that makes it seem less daunting as a purchase. If you’re lonely, that may be a price you’re more willing to pay.

Like I said, the main issue now is scale. It’s hard to make a quality sex doll and charge a low price for it. Manufacturing is still quite labor intensive, especially for those who want to customize their dolls. That process will need refinement, but once that happens, it could become as easy and routine as ordering a pizza.


Issue #6: They’re Being Customized In Unexpected Ways

Another issue that came up, which I actually brought up, was the kind of customization that people are asking for. Naughty Harbor does offer customization options for their sex dolls, as most other companies doo. However, the customization requests haven’t been too extreme.

One common request is for dolls that look like ex-lovers. That is apparently more popular than those who want sex dolls resembling their favorite anime characters, which is a niche field in and of itself. That surprised me, but it probably shouldn’t. I can understand someone missing the physical intimacy once provided by an ex-lover, even if the relationship didn’t work.

It helps affirm that there’s a real emotional component to those who use sex dolls. Again, it’s not just about the sex or the sweet release that comes with it. There’s a deeper connection at play and it’s different than the release someone gets with a typical sex toy.

This led us to discuss whether anyone has requested a sex doll resembling a celebrity. At the moment, Naughty Harbor says that has not been a very common request, but they expect that to change. It’s only a matter of time before someone requests a sex doll that looks exactly like a popular Marvel, Disney, or DC Comics character.

Since the size of the industry and the market isn’t that large just yet, we couldn’t do more than speculate what kind of impact that might have. Some companies do stipulate that they cannot make dolls resembling real people for legal reasons. However, that hasn’t stopped some porn stars from licensing their likeness for an extra revenue stream.

If there’s money to be made, the industry will find a way. However, that will send it into some legally contested territory. While American sex doll manufacturers cannot make dolls out of real people, other countries don’t have those same restrictions. According to Naughty Harbor, the Czech Republic has no such laws on the books. I doubt that’ll remain true for long.

That brought us to the last issue that is sure to become prominent at some point.


Issue #7: The Legal Issues Are Just Beginning

At the moment, the laws in both Europe and the Americas designate sex dolls as sex toys. They’re basically classified as a far more elaborate version of a vibrator. For now, given their current place in the uncanny valley, that makes sense. The question is what happens when sex dolls become both more lifelike and more accessible to the general public.

The number of sex doll brothels popping up all over the world is growing. The industry as a whole is evolving. With that come some significant legal challenges, some of which have prevented some sex doll brothels from opening. Those challenges are likely to gain greater complications in the coming years.

Can you classify a sex doll brothel the same way you would a traditional brothel?

Can you make the act of essentially renting a sex toy illegal?

How do you even classify and regulate a service like producing sex dolls?

Those questions cannot go unanswered because there have already been some issues. One of the biggest involves the sale of sex dolls that resemble children. That’s an issue that Naughty Harbor acknowledged is a growing concern. At the moment, those kinds of sex dolls are illegal to make in many parts of the world, but there is an emerging black market for them, mostly out of Asia.

Like with any black market, there will be nefarious customers seeking nefarious providers for an illicit service. Naughty Harbor did say they work with the authorities on addressing this issue. At the same time, they too are trying to figure out the best way to deal with it. Like with many issues involving the sex industry, there’s always a chance that one particular effort could do more harm than good.

It’s a serious issue, but one that is making clear that sex dolls are here to stay. There is a demand for them and that’s not going away anytime soon. The law is very behind the curve right now. Naughty Harbor and I both agreed on that. At the same time, it may also be what’s driving the industry.

As concerns about sex work and human trafficking remain highly contentious, sex dolls might emerge as both a recourse and a complication. If the demand for human prostitution goes down while the demand for sex doll brothels goes up, then is that something the public and the politicians they vote for will accept?

Only time will tell. Naughty Harbor is just one of many companies in this emerging field. They’ll certainly have a part to play, especially as the industry matures and more research is conducted. Once it gets to a certain point, lawyers will get involved. That’s sure to complicate the industry, but after talking to Naughty Harbor, I’m fairly certain it cannot be stopped.


Once again, I’d like to thank Naughty Harbor for taking the time to speak with me about this issue. I hope to have more like them in the future. The sex doll industry is growing and evolving alongside other emerging technologies. It’s going to happen faster than most of us expect. Are we ready for it? That remains to be seen. I have my doubts, but I’ll certainly be keeping an eye on this issue. A pandemic may have tempered our collective libidos, but our desires will eventually return. Like it or not, sex dolls may be a larger part of the sexual landscape from here on out.

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Filed under gender issues, health, Marriage and Relationships, political correctness, politics, prostitution, sex in media, sex in society, sex robots, sexuality, technology

The “Perfect” Sex Robot Thought Experiment

There’s a good chance that you’ve encountered someone who has a very strange kink. It’s probably not illegal, disgusting, or damaging. It’s just something that would make most people cringe if said out loud with a straight face. I won’t speculate on what that kink might be. I’ll just trust in the lurid imaginations of anyone reading this article to fill in the blanks.

With that in mind, I’d like to add another detail to that concept. Say you know this person’s kink. It rightly disgusts you. You believe it could be harmful to both the person and whoever they’re doing it with. However, you also know that they’ve never acted on this kink with anyone. On top of that, you know they’ll never act on it. Would you still trust them?

I know that last part is a bit of a stretch. We can never truly predict how anyone will act in the future. They could be the most disciplined person who ever lived, exercising restraint every day of their lives for years on end. They would only have to have one lapse to undermine others’ trust in them.

That’s why I’m framing it as a thought experiment. This is the sort of thing that just has no analog in the real world. It’s still important to contemplate because it can provide insights into who we are, who we trust, and how we conduct ourselves as a society.

Now, I want to throw sex robots into the mix. I promise there’s a legitimate point to that. This isn’t me speculating about the future of sex robots and other technology that’ll likely impact our sex lives. In fact, for this thought experiment to work, I’ll have to push the concept of sex robots to an extreme that is probably beyond any technology we’ll see in our lifetimes.

That’s because it requires that we envision the concept of a “perfect” sex robots. Now, I put “perfect” in quotes because perfection is subjective, especially when it comes to complex issues like human sexuality. It’s just a useful way to envision a form of sexual expression that goes beyond just sex with robots.

For the sake of the thought experiment, here’s a quick definition of what constitutes a “perfect” sex robot.

The robot is of a humanoid form and composed of universally malleable matter. It can effectively shape-shift into anyone, taking on any appearance the user desires, including that of celebrities, fictional characters, or private citizens. The robot can also take on inhuman forms. It can have fully functional sex organs of any gender or entirely new genders.

It also has an artificial intelligence that allows it to perfectly mimic any identity, role, or personality the user wishes. There are no restrictions or taboos. The robot is completely obedient, cannot be harmed, and never suffers.

In essence, the perfect robot is like Mystique from the X-Men combined with Rosie from “The Jetsons.” It can look any way a user wants. It does anything the user wants. It’s basically the ultimate sexual outlet. It doesn’t matter how tame or perverse your kink is. This robot will act it out with you whenever you want.

Why does that matter?

Well, it matters because horrible sex crimes and abuse still happen. As disgusting as it is to acknowledge, people do horrific things to other human beings to obtain sexual gratification. While most people aren’t like that, those deviant individuals still exist. These twisted desires still exist. There are those who don’t act on them, but if the desire is there, it’s still worthy of concern.

I think it’s relevant, given how much concerns over sexual assault and sexual abuse have become in recent years. On top of those concerns, there are other taboos and cultural attitudes that have been skewing our collective sexuality for centuries. From organized religion to sexy video game characters, there are many forces influencing our desires.

That brings me back to the essence of this thought experiment. This is where we have to both use our imaginations and speculate on how we conduct ourselves in a society.

Imagine that this perfect sex robot exist.

Now, imagine that everyone has one or several as soon as they reach an age at which they can consent to sex.

Everyone can carry out whatever depraved sex act they wish with this perfect sex robot, even if it’s illegal.

It doesn’t matter what their income is, where they live, or what their background is. Everyone has access to this perfect sex robot.

People can still form relationships with real people. They can still have children and raise families, like they always do.

What would change in this scenario? How would everyone conduct themselves in a world where they always had an outlet for whatever sexual desires they wanted? From decadent billionaires to working class people, they can all live out whatever fantasy they want with whoever they want.

Take it a step further. Imagine you met someone whose predilections you knew. Maybe they share it with you or you find out. Whatever it is, you find it abhorrent. You believe that, if they did this with anyone other than a sex robot, they’d be guilty of a horrific crime. However, they’ve never done it with anyone other than the robot and never would. Would you still associate with that person?

Even if you had a guarantee that nobody ever acted out their perverse desires on anyone other than a sex robot, would you still be comfortable around that person? Hell, flip the roles. Imagine you told someone about your kinks and they found it horrifying. How would you feel if they resented you, even if you never acted on them with real people and never would?

Keep following the possibilities.

Imagine someone uses their perfect sex robot to sleep with your spouse, parent, sibling, or child.

Imagine someone who claims to be heterosexual, but engages in homosexual acts with their sex robot.

Imagine someone who is never abusive with anyone, but horrifically abuses their sex robot.

I’ll stop short of adding more layers to this experiment. I think I’ve gotten my point across. For now, I encourage everyone to contemplate this. Think about how you would conduct yourself around people in this scenario. Think about what it would mean for society, as a whole.

There are no wrong answers, but the possibilities are as profound as they are kinky.

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Filed under health, human nature, sex in society, sex robots, Sexy Future, Thought Experiment

Sales Of Sex Dolls Surge, But Will The Stigma Decline?

Years from now, we’ll look back on this global pandemic with a mix of amazement and sorrow. We’ll recount to our kids and grandkids what it was like to endure months on end without sports, haircuts, gyms, or hugs. It’ll be hard for them to appreciate, even if they’re cyborgs or genetically enhanced somehow. At the same time, we’ll see this period in history as a turning point for certain trends and industries.

That brings me to sex dolls and sex robots. Chances are this is a detail we’ll opt not to share with our kids and grandkids, no matter how enhanced they are.

A while back, I speculated on the technologies that would likely get a significant boost or a revitalization due to this pandemic. Sex robots was on that list, obvious. However, the hardware associated with the kind of fully functional sex robots we see in “Blade Runner 2049” is still a long way off. Until then, we have to get by with hyper-realistic sex dolls.

Unlike robots and advanced AI, this technology exists. It’s also a mature market. Realistic sex dolls have been an emerging industry for decades now. However, the pandemic has triggered some rapid growth, both in terms of sales and expansion. That shouldn’t surprise anyone who has been stuck at home for weeks on end, but it should still spark some intrigue.

Forbes recently documented this surge in sales. It also noted how this surge can’t just be attributed to loneliness. How valid that sentiment is remains to be seen, but there’s no arguing with the numbers. Sales of sex dolls are increasing. The industry is growing. Taboo or not, this is happening and sex robots aren’t far behind.

Forbes: Sex Doll Sales Surge In Quarantine, But It’s Not Just About Loneliness

Sex doll sales have surged since quarantine began, to the extent that one company are looking to take on new staff to keep up with demand.

Sex Doll Genie has received “hundreds” more inquiries than usual in the last eight weeks, from both couples and single people. The company saw a 51.6% increase in orders from single men in February and March, with a 33.2% year-on-year growth in orders placed by couples in April.

“We have lots of products in stock but we can’t work fast enough to keep up with demand,” co-founder Janet Stevenson said. “We are hiring as quickly as we can and have created several new roles in fulfillment management and customer support in both the US and Europe.”

This surge in sales may be temporary. Once things open up again, sales may decline and sex dolls will go back to being a perverse curiosity. However, there’s no getting around the sales data.

If nothing else, it proves that when people are isolated, they’ll seek intimacy in whatever way they can. They’re even willing to pay for it. Whether you approve of sex dolls or not, there’s still a demand and where there’s demand, there will be someone willing to supply it.

There are still plenty of barriers for this industry to overcome. You’re not going to see sex dolls on display at a local mall anytime soon, assuming malls will still exist 15 years from now. Some are pure logistics. Those will be overcome with improvements in production, distribution, and design, just like any industry. Others are less tangible.

The one barrier that has kept this industry a niche market is stigma. There’s still a significant taboo for people who seek the company of or even admit they’re intrigued by sex dolls. If you were to tell a random stranger that you own a sex doll, chances are they’ll look at you oddly and not in a flattering way.

However, that knee-jerk reaction may be changing now. After being cooped for months on end, I think everyone is a bit more sympathetic do those who feel lonely. Does that sympathy extend to sex dolls? It’s hard to say. With sales surging, we might find out sooner rather than later.

If the stigma surrounding this industry continues to decline, then that bodes well for future sex robots. Chances are the current market for sex dolls will overlap with the future market for sex robots. The more that market grows, the more incentive businesses have towards improving that industry. It’s hard to know what that end result will be. Hopefully, it’ll be as sexy as it is satisfying.

This pandemic has made us all appreciate human intimacy. In the long right, it might end up being the catalyst that helped spark an entire industry that made the world feel a bit less lonely and a lot less horny.

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Filed under Current Events, Second Sexual Revolution, sex in society, sex robots, sexuality, Sexy Future

Customizing Your Junk In “Cyberpunk 2077” And The (Potentially Real) Possibilities It’ll Inspires

Technology has and will continue to affect our sex life, our love life, our social life, and everything in between. It’s unavoidable. Whatever new technology we create will eventually affect or be applied to our sex life. Whether intentional or unintentional, it’ll find a way. Human beings are just too creative, passionate, and horny.

I’ve explored some emerging technologies that could have a significant impact on our sex lives. Many people alive today are likely to feel those impacts at some point. For the most part, it’s difficult to imagine. We can only speculate. However, we may gain unique insights from unexpected places.

Decades ago, shows like “Star Trek” and movies like “Demolition Man” imagined technology like smartphones and tablets. At the time, they didn’t seem like huge leaps, but they still seemed futuristic. They also offered some insight into how technology might find its way into our lives. It may have been innocuous to the story, but it was downright prophetic in envisioning the real-world implications.

This brings me to an upcoming game called “Cyberpunk 2077.” In a year where so many things that we love are getting delayed or cancelled, this had video game fans of all types giddy with excitement. It’s already one of the most anticipated games of the year and I count myself among those who have already made plans to play it for hours on end.

This is no standard Mario game. “Cyberpunk 2077” is “Grand Theft Auto” meets “Skyrim,” with a dash of Keanu Reeves for added awesome. It’s a mature journey into a futuristic world full of cyborgs, outlaws, and bloody brawls. If you can’t find something to enjoy in that, then you’re just being difficult.

However, the appeal of game isn’t the primary issue I want to highlight. Recently, some new details emerged that could offer the kind of futuristic insight that even “Star Trek” was too afraid to address. Specifically, the game revealed an option to customize the genitals of your character. An article in Kotaku went into detail.

Kotaku: Cyberpunk 2077 Has First-Person Sex Scenes, Will Let You Customize Your Genitals

Players can select a gender and customize their character; customization can include depictions of breasts, buttocks, and genitalia, as well as various sizes and combinations of genitals. Players can encounter events where they have the option to engage in sexual activities with other main characters or prostitutes — these brief sex scenes (from a first-person perspective) depict partially nude characters moaning suggestively while moving through various positions.

Now, this feature isn’t exactly new. Other games have played with similar options, such as “Saints Row.” However, “Cyberpunk 2077” promises to take this option even further.

That makes sense in the context of the game. It’s a futuristic world in which the line between technology and our bodies is essentially gone. You can augment limps, organs, and various other features. It makes sense that this extends to our genitals. Conceivably, it means men can have vaginas, women can have penises, and those who prefer a more ambiguous kind of sexuality can mix and match.

The possibilities are vast, as well as sexy. To some, it’ll be disturbing. I’m sure the Rick Santorums and Jack Thompsons of the world won’t sleep well. At the same time, it provides some insight into the future of our bodies, our sex lives, and our love lives.

While the technology in “Cyberpunk 2077” is a long way off, some parts of it are already starting to emerge. From Neuralink to lab grown organs, the principle of creating new body parts and augmenting the ones we have isn’t new. It’s not some magical concept that requires that we break the laws of physics. In theory, this sort of thing is possible. It’s just a matter of time, investment, and development.

What games like “Cyberpunk 2077” promise is the ability to explore how society reacts to having the ability to change, enhance, or adjust their bodies at will. If you can have one set of genitals one day and another by the end of the week, what does that do for people? How does it affect the way they conduct themselves? How does it impact our notions of gender?

It would definitely change. That’s for certain. While it may be a novelty in the game, it could offer some insights for the real world. A while back, a study of players who played “Mass Effect” revealed that the vast majority of them preferred the path of a paragon hero over that of a renegade. Both options were available, but one appealed more.

I find that kind of insight powerful because, unlike TV shows or movies, video games are more engaging. People play an active role in both the plot of the story and how the characters conduct themselves. In games like “Cyberpunk 2077” when there are so many options for customization, the possibilities are even greater.

One day, people in the real world will be able to reconfigure and customize their genitals just like players can in “Cyberpunk 2077.” It’s hard to know what kind of impact that’ll have on the world, but “Cyberpunk 2077” should give us a tantalizing glimpse.

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Filed under Artificial Intelligence, biotechnology, futurism, gender issues, Second Sexual Revolution, sex in society, sex robots, Sexy Future, video games

A Troubling (But Probable) Thought Experiment Involving Sex Robots And Stalkers

It’s an unavoidable rule of technology. Nobody truly knows how a new machine, gadget, or invention will be used in the future. I doubt the person who invented ski masks knew it would be a common tool of criminals. We can try and anticipate how certain technology will affect society, but there will always be unexpected impacts that come from unplanned uses.

When it comes to sex robots, the impacts are far greater in scope and scale than anyone can possibly predict. I’ve made a concerted effort on multiple occasions. I don’t gloss over the more distressing impacts, either. Chances are this technology will effect people, society, and culture in ways nobody will be able to predict, including aspiring writers who use sex robots in multiple short stories.

It’s often through writing sexy short stories and erotica/romance novels that I often come up with ideas I hadn’t previously considered. Some of those ideas lead to larger thought experiments. Since sex robots are making the news more and more often lately, I thought I’d share one.

It goes as follows:

A man or woman meets someone. They immediately fall for them. It’s love, lust, and passion all rolled into one. They become so obsessed with this person that they can’t imagine not being with them in some way.

Naturally, they pursue this person. They try befriending, flirting, and seducing them. It doesn’t work. They get rejected. At first, it’s just a setback. They try harder to win the love of this special someone. It ultimately fails. Eventually, that someone threatens to call the police and put a restraining order on them.

The person is dejected and sad, but not dissuaded. Since they can’t be with this person they love so dearly, they seek the next best thing. When their would-be love isn’t looking, they scan their body. They then send those specifications to a company that makes sex robots.

They request that the company make them a robot that perfectly resembles the love that rejected them. They also request that the robot be programmed to love them unconditionally and obey them. The company agrees. They make a sex robot that looks, sounds, smells, and acts like the lover they couldn’t have.

Naturally, the person is overjoyed. They lovingly tend to the sex robot, treating it like a real lover. They live out the love they wish they’d had. At some point, it becomes so real that they don’t bother with the person who rejected them. They’re content to leave them alone and live out the fantasy for as long as they please.

Take a moment to think about what I just described. I admit it has some disturbing elements. Stalkers who obsess over someone to an unhealthy degree is a real phenomenon. It ruins lives and can be very damaging to both people.

Throw sex robots into the mix and things get more complicated. What I just described is not technically impossible. It probably won’t be feasible for decades, but there’s nothing against the laws of physics that prevent people from creating perfect sex robot duplicates of random people they see on the streets.

All that anyone would need is the right data. Whether it’s done directly with a device or surmised from a collection of pictures, practically anyone can be made into a sex robot. I’ve noted before how this could effect the porn industry with stars and celebrities licensing their bodies as sex robots. However, I doubt it would stop there.

Whereas celebrities might have the money and legal resources to license their bodies and combat unauthorized use as a sex robot, most ordinary people wouldn’t have that luxury. In the same way most people don’t have access to high-powered attorneys that keep celebrities and rich people out of jail, the average person probably wouldn’t have much recourse.

If some random person found out their high school crush made a sex robot of them, how would they combat it? Could they sue them? Could they sue the manufacturer? What if the sex robot came from an illicit source? How they deal with that?

Moreover, would it even be worth the effort? If a would-be stalker is content to make a sex robot of their obsessive crush, which in turn stops them from stalking altogether, then why would anyone care? Who’s being harmed in this situation?

You could argue the would-be stalker is hurting themselves, but how could we possibly police that? We can’t stop people from hurting themselves. Prohibition proved that. However, with sex robots, we essentially give people a way to cling to an obsession and never move on. Is that healthy? Is there any way to stop it? Is it even worth the effort?

Try to put yourself in this scenario. How would you feel about it? How would you go about confronting it, if at all?

This is just one of the many scenarios that may play out once this technology matures. Again, there will likely be other effects I can’t imagine. Unfortunately, not all of those effects will be inherently sexy.

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Filed under Artificial Intelligence, futurism, psychology, sex in society, sex robots, sexuality, Sexy Future, technology

Laws Regulating Sex Robots: A First Draft

Sex robots are coming, literally and figuratively. That’s not just a bit of dirty innuendo from someone who often writes sexy stories around it. That’s an objective fact. Bill Maher’s recent rant about it was just the latest. Rest assured, there will be more.

There will be a lot of doom-saying and fear-mongering. There’s already an organized campaign against sex robots. That’s to be expected. There’s always that kind of rhetoric when new technology or trends emerge. I’m old enough to remember when parents, politicians, and pundits thought TV was going to ruin an entire generation. If someone told them about social media, they might have had a heart attack.

As sex robots get more advanced and become more mainstream, expect to hear from those same people. They’ll bemoan how this latest trend will destroy the culture. Unlike jazz, rock music, Elvis’ hips, MTV, cartoon violence, and marijuana, this might actually do it. If I could write that with any more sarcasm, I would.

As annoyingly absurd as these comments are sure to be, I don’t deny that sex robots raises some serious issues. I’ve covered a few of them in discussing this issue. I’m sure there are plenty more that I’ve yet to explore. In the meantime, I’d like to try and confront some of those concerns that I’m sure the doom-sayers of the near-future will bring up.

Technology progresses rapidly, but the law rarely keeps up. Given how many laws there are regarding sex, some more archaic than others, it’s inevitable that sex robots will be subject to some form of regulation. It’s hard to contemplate how far that regulation will go. Some might go so far as to try and ban sex robots altogether. I doubt that will ever fly, if only because there’s way too much money to be made.

Even if sex robots are illegal, they’ll still arise. Human beings are just too horny, too lonely, and too greedy to ignore their potential for ever. For that reason, I’d like to propose a first draft for appropriate regulations regarding sex robots. Now, I’m not a lawyer, so I’m not at all qualified to make legal arguments.

However, someone will have to take this seriously at some point. When it comes to a technology as disruptive and groundbreaking as sex robots, we need to be proactive. As such, here are my preliminary laws for the regulation, sale, and use of sex robots. If anyone has any ideas to tweak or add to them, please present them in the comments.

Also, if you’re a lawyer or a lawmaker, please take this seriously. Do not let the discussion be guided by the same people who claimed Elivs’ hips would ruin America’s youth.

Law #1: The law shall hereby distinguish sex robots from sex dolls insofar as a sex doll is considered a sex toy, and subject to all current laws governing their sale, but a sex robot is classified as a robot with measure of intelligence that is designed specifically for engaging in sexual activity with another person.

Law #2: No individual under the age of 16 shall be permitted to purchase a sex robot.

Law #3: The production, sale, and distribution of sex robots shall be subject to common industry standards that are to be agreed upon by all producers and subject to approval by the courts.

Law #4: The production, sale, and distribution of sex robots that resemble children or individuals of a pre-pubescent appearance is illegal and shall be punishable by up to 5 years in prison.

Law #5: The production, sale, and distribution of sex robots that facilitate the act of rape, assault, or coercive conduct against another person is illegal and shall be punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

Law #6: The production, sale, and distribution of sex robots programmed to cause serious harm, injury, or death to a person is illegal and any person, persons, or organizations that create such items are henceforth liable.

Law #6: The production, sale, or distribution of sex robots designed to resemble a specific person without their explicit consent and/or fair compensation is illegal.

Law #7: It is unlawful to engage in sexual activity with a sex robot in a public area or any area that would constitute a disturbance of the peace. Violators will be subject to local ordinances governing indecency.

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A Comment On Bill Maher’s (Dystopian) Rant About Sex Robots

Remember that time someone old, out of touch, and under-informed made an accurate prediction about the impact of emerging technology? That’s not a rhetorical question. Honestly, does anyone remember that ever happening to a meaningful extent?

I ask because it’s been happening for years. People keep seeing an amazing new technology and assume the worst. In some cases, they’re just dead wrong about trends that will or won’t catch on. Some just made dead wrong assumptions about how technology and society would evolve.

At the end of the day, nobody truly knows for sure. It’s fun to speculate, especially when that technology involves sex robots. I know I’ve entertained some colorful possibilities and potential issues, but I never claim I know for certain. I try not to be overly optimistic, but I don’t try to be downright fatalistic, either.

Then, there’s Bill Maher’s latest rant about the future of sex robots. I could try and break down every flaw in his commentary, but I’ll let the clip speak for itself.

Now, I need to disclose that I’m a fan of Bill Maher. I like his show. I think he’s funny. He’s got a great wit and a dry style that I’ve always found entertaining. When it comes to technology, though, he’s more a chronic whiner than a visionary.

He compares social media to cigarettes and complains about how technology has become too complicated. For a man who’s over 60, that’s not surprising. However, for someone smart enough to stay on TV for over three decades, it’s still absurd.

Deconstructing his rant is not that hard. Maher frames the impact of sex robots as an either/or position. To him, people will either completely reject human intimacy for robots or reject robots in favor of human intimacy. However, he never justifies why people would choose only one or the other.

Would people only interact with a sex robot because they can have sex on a level that humans just can’t match? That assumes people are really basic and would all react the same if they somehow had access to a life-like sex robot. However, people are not basic. People are complicated. They have many different wants, needs, and attitudes. Maher himself has noted this when discussing other issues.

Sex robots will change human dynamics significantly. It won’t destroy them. It won’t completely destroy the whole of society. They’re not nuclear weapons. They’ll just change how things are and for older people, especially in Maher’s demographic, that can be scary. It’s easy to assume the worst, but it’s still an assumption and those are notoriously unreliable for predicting the future. The stock market alone is proof of that.

There are many other things I can say about Maher’s rant, but it would all come back to the same point. It’s just flawed and misguided. It assumes there’s not room for both human connection and sex robots in the future. Considering how adaptive and social humans are, I believe we’ll find a way to incorporate them into a new social dynamic that nobody can predict.

It’ll be nothing like Maher can ever imagine.

It’ll be nothing like I can imagine, either.

The future will still come. It’s just a matter of how we’ll adapt, evolve, and grow with it.

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Filed under Artificial Intelligence, futurism, sex in society, sex robots, sexuality, Sexy Future, technology

“A Very Merry Sex Robot” A Sexy Short Story (About Christmas And Sex Robots)

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The following is a sexy short story about Christmas and sex robots. It’s a combination that I don’t think exists enough in this world and I’d like to contribute to it. I hope this story starts a trend. The holidays are a wonderful time of year. Sex robots can only make them more wonderful. I hope this story proves that. Enjoy!

“Tis the season, my ass,” groaned less than jovial Ethan Elder. “How the hell am I supposed to enjoy Christmas this year?

That was the tenth time Ethan had asked himself that question in the past hour, but he remained no closer to an answer. He’d contemplated it in various forms for over a year, but had only succeeded in making himself more miserable. Even in the comfort of his parents’ home on Christmas, the disillusion and despair festered. At this point, even a Christmas miracle couldn’t mend his broken spirit.

The past year had left Ethan with little capacity for cheer on the holidays. Since late January, his life had been consumed by a messy and ugly divorce from his now ex-wife, Gina. In hindsight, he should’ve seen the signs.

Ethan and Gina had been high school sweethearts who got married on a whim after graduating, thinking it would solidify their relationship for the long term. It was the antithesis of what their friends and peers did with their significant others, few of which remained together. He and Gina thought they were bucking the trend by taking a giant leap forward with their relationship. He genuinely believed in their love.

Ethan now realized just how wrong he’d been. In fact, he should’ve realized it sooner.

“How could I have been so stupid? How did I not see it coming?” he said, his face still buried in his pillow.

Those were among the many other questions he’d asked himself, even before Gina filed for divorce. The answers seemed obvious now, but they still hurt, especially during the holidays.

Getting married when they were young, inexperienced, and ill-prepared had been a challenge, but it wasn’t what broke their relationship. They’d begun their married life with a shared vision. They were going to go to college together, graduate with business degrees, and start their own company, and chart a bold new path for their family. It seemed so naïve and idealistic, but that only made it more appealing in their eyes.

That idealism started fading as soon as they entered college. That was where their vision started to diverge. While Ethan believed in staying true to that vision, Gina started showing interest in other goals. The more she learned, the more she realized that she didn’t want to start a business. She developed a passion for art, movies, and film production. At first, he thought it was just an elective that she enjoyed. Then, she started dropping hints that this was where her passion resided.

Unfortunately, Ethan didn’t pick up on those hints. Looking back on it, he went out of his way to ignore them.

“I tried to tell you. I really, really tried,” Gina told him the day she filed for divorce, “but you just made it so damn difficult!”

She might have been half-right. Even her lawyer admitted that she waited way too long to tell him that she wanted a life different from the one they’d planned. That didn’t make the heartbreak that followed any less painful.

They still graduated college together.

They still started that business together, which went onto become quite successful.

However, success didn’t make Gina happy and her misery quickly became his. Misery led to many fights and many more arguments. Little came from them, aside from tempering the love and intimacy they once shared. Before long, Gina started showing interest in other men. Ethan even admitted that his eyes began to wander as they became more distant. It got to a point where they started sleeping in separate rooms, becoming colder and more distant along the way.

While there was never any sexual infidelity, Gina admitted to his face that she wanted to. She even admitted that she’d kissed a man who’d been helping her with film projects on the side. She would’ve gone further had she not been wearing her wedding ring, but it was that moment when she realized that she no longer loved him.

“The woman I am…the man you are…we’re just not the same. I’m sorry, Ethan. But I can’t love you like I used to.”

Hearing those words broke his heart. Receiving divorce papers hurt even more. At first, he tried to fight it. He tried to reconcile with her. That only made the process more painful.

Since she still helped build the business they founded, she got half the assets. Since she had no interest in running it, she sold it off. He ended up doing the same, no longer able to pursue a vision that he could no longer share. Ethan still ended up with a sizable amount of money, but he couldn’t have been more miserable.

His parents had been trying to console him for months. His dad even insisted that he stay with them for Christmas, if only to get away from the now-empty house he once shared with Gina. They’d even let him sleep in his old room, as if to reconnect with happier times. Even in the early hours of Christmas morning, it still didn’t work.

“After the year I’ve had, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to enjoy Christmas again,” he groaned.

Ethan buried his face in his pillow again, too miserable to sleep and too restless to think straight. He looked over at the clock. It read two in the morning. He already wished he could skip the holidays this year in hopes of rebuilding his life, his heart, and his soul for the next year.

He was prepared to turn around and force himself back to sleep somehow. Then, he got an unexpected text on his cell phone, which sat atop the dresser next to his bed. It came from an unknown number and conveyed a cryptic message.

“Good morning, Ethan,” it read. “Santa has delivered to you a very special gift. Please come downstairs to receive it.”

Ethan read over the message a few times. He tried to look up the number, but it was blocked. That was unusual, especially after getting a new phone number to distance himself from former business associates. While he remained too miserable to get excited, he was none-the-less curious.

“This better not be a prank by Gina’s sister,” Ethan muttered.

Setting his phone aside, he got out of bed and made his way downstairs to the living room. He didn’t even bother putting on slippers or changing out of his pajamas. He fully expected to be underwhelmed, disappointed, and more jaded than he already was.

As he neared the living room, however, Ethan noticed something odd. The lights to the Christmas tree had been turned on, which was unusual. There were also muddy boot prints in the foyer, hinting that someone had actually entered the house at midnight to deliver something. Whether it was Santa, his dad, or one of his dad’s friends was anyone’s guess, but Ethan doubted it could be anything too elaborate.

Then, he entered the living room and saw something that rendered him shocked and astonished.

“Good morning and Merry Christmas, Ethan Elder,” said a beautiful female figure. “My name is Merry. I am a sex robot of the highest quality. I have been configured, programmed, and calibrated to give you the love you so desperately need this Christmas.”

For a brief moment, Ethan had to blink a few times and shake his head, just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Near as he could tell, this was real.

Standing in front of the Christmas tree that he’d helped his parents decorate was a beautiful woman who looked like she’d been cut from the centerfold of a beauty magazine. Her figure was perfect, from the curve of her hips to the shape of her breasts to the hue of her lips. She had dashing blue eyes, shoulder-length hair that looked glistened like silk, and flawless skin that was either divine or artificial. At that moment, Ethan wasn’t sure which would’ve shocked him more.

On top of that, she wore what appeared to be red lingerie with a matching lace bra and thong. In the center, just between her ample breasts, was a large red bow. It was like someone had wrapped her to be a real present. She even seemed to embrace that role as she stepped forth to greet him.

“Before you ask, my programming requires that I identify myself and my purpose,” she said. “I am Ideal Companions Model 2.89, purchased by special request from David and Martha Elder three weeks ago and delivered by request on Christmas morning. My features include advanced AI interface, fully functional synthetic flesh, and sexual function at or beyond that of a healthy young woman. I am also programmed to seek a mutually intimate bond with Ethan Elder, my pre-determined lover.”

Ethan would’ve laughed if he hadn’t been so shocked. Now, he understood why his parents insisted that he spend Christmas at their house. They’d apparently seen how miserable and lonely he’d been after his divorce. He might have even mentioned a few times how he’d connect with another living woman. His father might have taken that statement literally.

As overwhelmed as he was at her presence, Ethan still found himself approach her, if only to confirm she was real. Once again, he made sure he wasn’t dreaming. He knew sex robots were real. He even knew about Ideal Companions, having done business with them a while back. He just never imagined he’d be in the presence of one of their models, let alone one so beautiful.

“Please, take all the time you need to understand this setup,” Merry continued, as if reading from a script. “Note that my programming and Ideal Companion’s policy permits you to refuse connection, thereby prompting an expedited return and a full refund of your deposit. Based on the data I’ve downloaded from your recent onslaught of heartbreak and distress, I hope you do not make such a choice. But if you so choose, I will honor it.”

Ethan could’ve ended it right then and there. He was tempted to do so, if only to end this craziness and demand an awkward conversation with is parents. However, another part of him was drawn to this woman. Robot or not, she had a presence that captivated him.

Whether it was her presence, the revealing lingerie she wore, or the fact that he hadn’t been intimate with a woman in over a year, Ethan found himself making a snap decision on the spot. It might not have been well thought out, but it felt right.

“I…want you to stay,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Would you please confirm this sentiment directly?” she asked. “Do you wish for me to be your intimate companion?”

Ethan had a chance to second-guess himself. More often than not, he didn’t get that chance and when he did, he rarely went against his gut decision. This time felt different. This time, everything about his first inclination felt right.

“Yes,” he said in a more confident tone. “I’d like that…I think.”

“Wonderful!” Merry said. “You still sound uncertain. Perhaps it will help if I show you the kind of intimate companionship I can offer.”

Without further explanation, the beautiful female figure undressed on the spot. She started by unwrapping the bow over her chest, as if to unwrap a present in the sexiest way possible. She then removed her lingerie, performing a sensual striptease under the light of the Christmas tree. It was both festive and sexy. By the time she was done, Merry stood before him in the middle of the room, fully naked with every feminine feature on full display.

“Come to me, Ethan,” she said with a welcoming gesture. “Embrace my body while I embrace yours.”

Ethan couldn’t believe what he was seeing. There was a beautiful naked woman standing in front of him, inviting him into her loving grasp. Every instinct of every healthy heterosexual man urged him to accept that invitation. Had he not been in his parents’ house, wearing unwashed pajama pants and a dirty old T-shirt for the third night in a row, he might have done so.

However, his heart was still raw. On top of that, Ethan hadn’t been intimate with a woman in a long time. A part of him wondered if he could even muster the desire. Such hesitation probably would’ve raised concern for most women, but Merry wasn’t the least bit dissuaded. Instead, she just smiled warmly and approached him.

“Here,” Merry said to him, “let me take your clothes off.”

“I uh…I can manage,” Ethan said anxiously.

“I know you can,” she said, “but if I’m to be your loyal companion, I need plenty of hands on experience.”

“Hands on…right,” he said with a chuckle. “I didn’t know sex robots could make jokes.”

“My abilities go beyond sex. If you give me a chance, I’d be happy to demonstrate.”

He answered only with an awkward smile. Merry interpreted that as affirmation and proceeded accordingly.

She took a step closer, her nude form now perfectly within reach. Ethan still didn’t make a move. He just stood there while Merry took off his shirt, grasping the hem and pulling it up over his head. She then took off his pants, boxers and all. She wasn’t aggressive or intense. She was very gentle and caring, as though she were tending to someone who was wounded. Given what he’d been through over the past six months, it wasn’t that far from the truth.

“You’re a handsome, caring man, Ethan,” Merry said as she took in his nude form. “Any woman, robot or otherwise, would be lucky to have you as their lover.”

“I’m flattered,” Ethan said, blushing somewhat under her gaze. “Is that another part of your demonstration?”

“It can be, if you wish. But a more important part involves helping you feel comfortable around your new lover. So please, if you desire, touch me. Get a feel for my body while I get a feel for yours.”

Again, Ethan fell silent with shock. That might have been for the best. He had a tendency to say dumb things when he was overwhelmed. His ex-wife had reminded him of that more than once during their divorce proceedings. For now, he tried not to think about that. For the first time in years, he was going to enjoy a true, genuine gift.

“Okay. Let’s do this,” was all he said.

Hiding his nervousness behind an awkward smile, he welcomed the attractive feminine figure into his arms. Merry eagerly accepted, still smiling warmly as she pawed his upper body with both hands. Ethan finally let his once-dead passions arise and began exploring her naked body. The feeling of her flesh, synthetic or not, was every bit as overwhelming as her beauty.

He welcomed more of her caring touch as Merry offered more affectionate gestures. She trailed her hands over his chest and arms, as though she’d been programmed with a keen knowledge of how he liked to be touched. If she were as advanced as she claimed, that was likely true to some extent.

Even though she was a robot, Ethan was gentle. He started by caressing her face, lightly touching her cheek and running his finger through her hair. He steadily grew bolder, trailing his hands down her feminine curves, feeling around her hips, thighs, and butt. Her skin was so smooth and warm. Had she not stated that she was a robot, he would’ve thought her to be an angel, coming to grant him mercy on a cold Christmas morning.

It felt so good that he was almost afraid to feel any other part of her body. Merry must have sensed that because she helped guide his touching. As if to reignite his dormant passions, she lightly grasped his wrists and guided one hand to her breasts and the other to her inner thighs.

“Don’t be shy, Ethan,” Merry told him. “Here. Feel my breasts. Feel my vagina. I want you to touch them. I want to be intimate with you.”

Ethan swallowed nervously, but managed to not look too foolish. He was already naked with her in his parents’ living room on Christmas Eve. What else could possibly shock him?

That didn’t make feeling Merry’s breasts and genitals any less overwhelming. It was incredible, grasping her fleshy orbs and caressing her womanhood. His experience with his ex-wife gave him little confidence in his ability to navigate female anatomy, but Merry’s soft purrs of approval reassured him. Unlike Gina, she appreciated soft, loving touch.

“Mmm…that feels good,” she told him. “So soft and caring…I like it. It makes me want to kiss you.”

“I…wouldn’t stop you if you tried,” he said.

That might not have been the best response to a beautiful woman’s overt approval, but she didn’t hold that against him. She still kissed him passionately. Her lips tasted sweeter than any holiday treat. Synthetic flesh or not, it was a wonderful feeling. It also shattered whatever reservation he had left about embracing Merry as his robot lover.

As their lips meshed, the touching continued. He kept fondling her breast with one hand while rubbing her outer folds with the other. He even slipped his fingers inside her, which revealed that her feminine anatomy functioned every bit as well as a non-robot woman. She was very aroused and Ethan was finally sharing that feeling. He felt his manhood become fully erect with more urgency than he’d experienced since his honeymoon.

Merry quickly sensed this and directed her touch to his lower body. The feeling of a beautiful woman’s loving touch on his penis might as well have been a Christmas miracle. It was overwhelming, but for once, Ethan embraced it. Divorce and heartbreak had nearly broken him. Now, he had a chance to rebuild his soul with the aid of a beautiful sex robot on Christmas.

“Ethan,” Merry said, abruptly breaking the kiss.

“Yes, Merry?” Ethan said, replying with his first sliver of confidence.

“Let’s make love,” she said, “right here…in front of the Christmas tree…together.”

The way she said it made it sound daring. Not forgetting they were still in his parents’ house and they were likely still asleep, it was to some extent. Ethan had avoided such daring acts leading up to his divorce. He was officially ready to be bold again.

“Just when I thought this Christmas couldn’t get any better,” he said with a beaming grin.

“Oh it can, my darling. I promise it can!” Merry replied in the most seductive tone he’d ever heard from a woman.

They kissed and embraced again. This time, there was no explorative touching or overwhelming reservations. It was full-fledged foreplay of the most passionate kind.

Ethan twirled his tongue with hers, forgetting completely that she was a robot and her tongue was likely some biosynthetic substitute. He hungrily felt up her naked body, paying close attention to her inner thighs and breasts, evoking plenty of soft gasps from his robot lover. He was turning her on, literally and figuratively. She returned the favor by stroking his cock and clutching his shoulder, communicating a deep desire for his intimate love. With only the light of the Christmas tree filling the living room, they pursued that desire to the utmost.

Ethan took the initiative, something Gina rarely let him do during the latter parts of their marriage. He grasped Merry by the hips, laid her down on the floor just in front of the Christmas tree, and got on top of her. She looked even more beautiful under the festive lighting, her gaze begging him for the full force of his love. Ethan gladly obliged, positioning himself between her legs and aligning their bodies for an intimate union.

“I’m ready, Ethan,” Merry said. “I want this so much.”

“So do I,” Ethan said, his voice dazed with passion.

He took a deep breath.

Then, he tightened his grip on her hips.

Finally, he thrust his hips forward, driving his rigid manhood into her wet, womanly depths.

It was nothing short of heavenly, feeling that hot flesh surround his cock. It had been a while since he’d had sex, but this felt better than anything he remembered from his ex. It was like reconnecting with a feeling he thought he’d lost forever. Now, thanks to this beautiful female sex robot, he could cherish it again.

“Merry…oh Merry!” Ethan gasped.

“That’s it, my lover,” she said lovingly. “Give it to me. Share this feeling with me.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. That unleashed over a year’s worth of passion and desire. Like a man reborn and rejuvenated, he made love to this beautiful woman with every ounce of vigor he could muster.

Ethan was still careful at first, steadily working his hips and torso in a steady motion, allowing their intimate flesh to become acquainted. Once they got a feel for one another, he stepped up the pace. He dug his knees and feet into the shag carpet, driving his manhood into her with greater fervor. Her body rocked along with his, naked skin gliding with naked skin every step of the way. He loved how her breasts pressed against his chest and how her legs tensed every time he thrust into her, as if to embrace him fully and not just sexually.

Once Ethan established a steady pace of lovemaking, the experience opened up in unexpected ways. With Gina, sex had become such a formality. There were only so many ways she would do it with him and he agreed to those because he wanted to please her. At some point, it stopped being fun and passionate. Merry was the complete opposite. She gleefully shared in the spirit, encouraging him to explore the breadth of his passions.

Ethan rolled around with her on the rug, taking her from various positions, including a few Gina never let him try. He turned her over onto all fours and took her from behind, squeezing her butt and nibbling her ear from behind. He laid her on her side, hitched a leg over his shoulder, and thrust into her at an angle, allowing him to tease her feet in ways that made her squeal with delight. He even laid down on his back and she rode him cowgirl style while he fondled her breasts, pinching her nipples in ways that got an even stronger reaction.

“Yes! Yes! Ohhh yes!” she cried out. “Just like that, Ethan! Just like that!”

It was beautifully chaotic, a true venting of genuine passion. It didn’t matter that it involved a sex robot. The passion felt real. It was every bit as real as the pleasure.

After plenty of chaotic passion, that special gift was about to culminate. Ethan was ready to climax. He had his robot lover on her side with him spooning her from behind. She angled her hips perfectly so that he could thrust into her in just the right way, maximizing the penetration as he neared his peak. It also allowed him to fondle her breast and kiss her neck, evoking more delighted gasps from Merry. She claimed she could climax. He was about to put that ability to the test.

“I’m close, Merry! I’m going to…come…soon!” Ethan said through labored grunts.

“Yes! I…I can feel it!” she said. “My body…and your body…oohhh I feel it!”

It might have been a result of clever programming.

It might even have been a result of special engineering that ensured Merry achieved orgasm at the same time as her lover.

The prelude didn’t matter. Only the culmination mattered and in that fateful moment, he and Merry climaxed together.

It was both intense and cathartic. Ethan closed his eyes and let out a deep gasp, as if to let out a year’s worth of frustration and heartbreak. Hot waves of orgasmic pleasure erupted through his core as his manhood throbbed inside his robot lover’s depths. His release appeared to trigger hers. Merry let an orgasmic cry of her own, taking his hand in hers and giving it a firm squeeze. Regardless of whether robots experienced orgasm the same as humans, there was no denying the results.

The greatest gift Ethan had ever received was complete. This new connection with Merry was sealed.

“Merry…my new robot lover,” Ethan said, still swimming in a sea of euphoria.

“That was my purpose when I was programmed,” she said. “Now, it is my passion.”

“You already know the difference?”

“Of course,” she said playfully. “For a man such as you, Ethan Elder, desire isn’t enough. Even purpose will not do. You are a man of passion. Your former lover may have forgotten that, but I certainly won’t. Consider that a promise and one last Christmas gift.”

“And what a gift it is!”

They shared another joyous laugh. Then, as their bodies parted, Merry rolled over and kissed him again. Still curled under the light of a Christmas tree, it felt like the end of one painful journey and the start of something much more promising. Ethan thought he’d never enjoy this feeling again after Gina broke his heart. Merry had officially proved him wrong and that, in many ways, was the greatest Christmas gift of all.

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“Testing King” A Sexy Short Story (Featuring A Male Sex Robot)

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The following is another sexy short story featuring sex robots and is a direct follow-up to “Testing Serenity.” I got a fairly positive response from that story. If I get an equal or greater response for this one, I’ll consider expanding it even more. If you have any feedback or ideas you’d like to share, please do so in the comments. Thanks and enjoy!

Not long ago, the act of satisfying a woman was subject to endless theories, tricks, techniques, and taboos. Men often obsessed over it while women agonized over it. Many people thought they knew how to go about it. Some of that knowledge was actually valid. However, there always seemed to be an intractable difference between lovers.

Men wanted to please their female partners.

Women wanted their male partners to please them every bit as much.

Neither seemed capable of communicating, let alone understanding, the process that went into a mutually satisfying experience.

That was exactly what Kelly Kyler worked to change. As a co-founder and lead tester of Ideal Companions – a rapidly-growing company in the emerging market for sex robots – she’d dedicated her life to bridging that intractable gap. Today marked another step in that arduous process.

“King Model 2.8, activate and run base protocol,” said Kelly in authoritative, yet excited voice.

She gave that command within a tightly controlled test area that she’d helped design. It was built like a typical hotel suite. In fact, much of the furnishings had come from a nearby hotel that had been renovating. The area included a king-sized bed with clean white sheets, a large dresser across from the bed, plush wall-to-wall red carpet, and a TV monitor on the wall. If anyone else had set foot inside it, they never would’ve known it was located in the sixth floor of Ideal Companion’s most secure testing lab.

The only indication that it involved something profound was the presence of a large, egg-shaped pod tin the corner of the room. It stood at nearly 7 feet tall and was hooked to a series of cables and mini-tanks. Through the glossy white surface, a humanoid figure was visible. The sound of her voice activated the various systems that had been integrated into the pod, feeding data, commands, and materials directly into the figure.

She could already see him moving inside and, if his shadowy outline were any indication, it was definitely a him. When he stood up and opened the pod’s main door, he stepped forward and approached her. There was little animation in his motions. He conducted himself as a robot. However, even with his robotic demeanor, his appearance and presence made one thing clear. This figure was a man…a tall, muscular, well-endowed man.

“Cognitive neural systems active,” he said in a deep, masculine tone. “Verifying base protocols. Verification complete.”

“Verify physiological and anatomical systems,” Kelly said with growing anticipation.

“Processing query. Verifying bodily systems and physiological configurations.”

His eyes flashed, briefly revealing that behind the imposing figure was a robot. Were it not for his eyes, a less informed woman only would’ve seen a naked man standing before her. Kelly had to be informed. His flashing eyes might have set him apart, but it was hardly the most notable aspect of his appearance.

While he processed the data, Kelly marveled at manly presence before her. The engineers and biotech team had once again outdone themselves. While the main structure of the man was that of a robot, his shell of synthetic flesh would be the first thing a user noticed. It looked, felt, and even smelled like real human skin. It had been molded, shaped, and appended to match the figure of a fit, attractive man.

He was not some hulking bodybuilder or Photoshopped fitness model. His muscle build, size, and stature were all perfectly proportional. His chest, torso, arms, and legs had just the right amount of build and definition. He was the kind of man who wouldn’t qualify as a male model, but could function perfectly in any female fantasy. He had the kind of beauty that didn’t seem impossible or unattainable.

That beauty extended to the wonderfully designed endowment that hung between his legs. Crafting a male penis that was just right in terms of size and aesthetics was one of the biggest challenges in the sex robot industry. Kelly had been on the front lines of those challenges and the results were already promising.

“I can already verify the ladies in the crafting department did a great job,” Kelly said as she admired it. “I hope that extends other functions.”

She grinned at the prospect of finding out. However, a sex robot with a functioning penis was not enough to ensure that that it could satisfy its female users. This latest model couldn’t just be a glorified giver of orgasms. He had to be a true companion.

“Processing complete,” he said. “All systems and configurations are operating at peak efficiency.”

“Good. That’s it for the easy part,” Kelly said. “Now, the real test can begin. Activate emotional core protocols. From here on out, designate identity as King.”

“Command confirmed. Activating emotion and self-identity protocols in 3…2…1.”

What happened next was like watching the genesis of a new being. In an instant, the male figure went from having a distinctly robotic disposition to carrying himself like a real human.

His eyes flashed again. His facial expression shifted erratically. He blinked several times, as though he had just come to a profound realization. He then glanced down at his hands, arms, and body. The vast volumes of data in his robot brain connected with the emotional processing matrix. It was a powerful moment in which processing data gained a whole new meaning.

“I am a man. I am a robot,” he said in a less robotic.

“Yes. Yes, you are,” said Kelly as she took a step closer.

“I think. I feel. I am…King,” he said, a slight smile forming on his face.

“Nice to meet you, King. My name is Kelly. I helped create you. Now, I’m here to welcome you…among other things.”

He took a few more moments to get a feel for his body, his feelings, and his sense of being. Then, he directed his attention towards her. As soon as Kelly felt his eyes on her, she saw his expression shift again. In doing so, he revealed that his emotional programming was working perfectly.

“Kelly,” King said as he gazed upon her. “Yes, I know that name. It has relevance to me…a deep relevance that extends beyond my data care.”

“That’s because knowing someone’s name is just a small part of a greater connection. Robot or man, you have the ability to forge those connections with your companion.”

“Connections…yes, the data surrounding that concept is relevant too. I can process it perfectly, but it is also something I desire.”

“That makes two of us,” said Kelly with a warm smile.

She stepped in closer, now just inches from his naked flesh. She could feel the warmth radiating from his body. Some of it was from his synthetic flesh, which was sustained largely by his robotic systems. That was necessary for any functioning machine. However, there was another aspect to that warmth that further built that emerging connection.

“Most people think they were born with a purpose,” Kelly said to him. “They’re rarely sure of what it is. It can’t just be that they were born because their parents willed it. They believe they were created with a greater purpose in mind.”

“I know my purpose,” said King. “It is written into my data.”

“I know. I helped code that data,” she went on. “You’re a companion, built to forge intimate bonds with heterosexual female users. Your body, your mind, and your emotions were created with this in mind. It’s just a matter of how well they work together.”

King paused for a moment, his eyes flashing again as he processed more data. To help aid him, Kelly reached out and lightly caressing his masculine sinews with her soft hands. Her touch triggered a reaction, one that prompted him to reach out and touch her as well.

With his powerful arms, he drew her into an embrace. With hands that were every bit as powerful, trailed his fingers down her face and gazed affectionately into her eyes. His emotional core was really working now. Data was no longer just data to him. Like a real man processing real emotions, feeling her presence affected him on an intimate level.

“My purpose…my desires,” King said in a more distant tone. “The distinction between the two seems increasingly irrelevant.”

“That counts as progress,” said Kelly while trailing her fingers down his arms. “Me feeling your strong, manly body against mine is another kind of progress…and an important kind, at that.”

“How so?” he asked.

“Because it’s the kind that makes me want a more intimate bond with you,” she told him, “specifically, a bond that requires me to be naked too.”

“Does that imply that I’m making you horny?” he asked with a slight grin.

“I see your understanding of humor has also progressed,” she quipped.

“Is that a good thing?”

“Yes,” Kelly said without hesitation. “That’s a very good thing.”

Kelly briefly broke the embrace and took a step back. Then, while he watched with his powerful gaze, processing a wealth of emotional data, she took off her clothes.

She wasn’t wearing anything fancy, opting to keep things simple with a pair of jeans, a pink halter top, and sandals. She didn’t even wear any sexy lace underwear, either. For the test to work effectively, she had to keep things simple with King. That still didn’t stop her from having a little fun, wiggling her hips as she slipped off her panties and casting the manly figure a seductive grin.

“You look good naked,” King said, grinning as well while she tossed her underwear aside.

“Thank you,” she replied as she playfully posed for him. “I know you have a lot of data about the female body, but trust me. Data is no substitute for experience.”

“No. It is not.”

For a brief moment, Kelly just stood before him, completely naked and quite comfortable in his presence. It gave King time to observe, scan, and appreciate her body. She felt his high-tech eyes scrutinize every inch of her exposed flesh. She even sensed him giving special scrutiny to her face, breasts, hips, and genitals. That was to be expected, given the nature of the test. However, it wasn’t just about testing King’s ability to analyze female anatomy.

As he took in her intimate form, she saw clear emotional undertones in his eyes. He wasn’t just scanning her to calculate the optimal strategy with which to pleasure her. That wasn’t her goal or his. King was not some elaborate sex toy. He was a companion. Robot or not, a companion couldn’t stop at simply scanning their lover’s body.

“Kelly Kyler,” he said upon finishing his scan.

“Yes, Mr. King?” she replied, her tone still playful and seductive.

“I’d like to touch you now,” he told her. “I’d also like to kiss you.”

“I’d like that too. But is that all you’d like to do with me?”

“No. There are many things I wish to do with you…things for which I have plenty of data, but limited experience.”

“That’s okay. That’s what I’m here for,” Kelly told him. “We both want similar things, but it all comes back to experience…a beautiful, shared experience.”

She took a step closer, temping him with her seductive gaze. King responded, taking a step closer as well and drawing her into a powerful embrace. This time, he played a more active role. He took the data he had on her, his purpose, and their shared desire and turned it into action.

It started with a soft, but focused kiss. His lips, forged with synthetic flesh and maintained by complex biological systems, were remarkably warm. The engineers had somehow captured the pure, wondrous taste of raw masculinity. It was more than enough to trigger more arousal, especially between her legs.

From the kiss, they each explored one another’s naked bodies. Kelly felt her way around his torso, marveling at the manly sinews that perfectly mirrored that of a fit man. King was more eager with his touching, fondling and caressing her womanly flesh. He gave special attention to her thighs, hips, buttocks, and breasts. Such intimate touching evolved into outright foreplay, further building her arousal and sending her into a sensual daze.

Despite his imposing form, he was remarkably gentle. Even when he rubbed her nipples, he was so careful and caring. His understanding of the female body and how to touch it showed. He wasn’t some awkward teenager fumbling around with a woman. He had all the necessary knowledge in his robot brain, but he also had an emotional cortex to give meaning to every touch.

Soon, those wishes he’d expressed earlier became more urgent. Kissing and touching her naked body was a good start. It was hardly sufficient for either of them. That meant the next part of the test could commence.

“Mmm…you’re a good kisser,” Kelly said, breaking the kiss while holding onto his shoulders.

“So are you,” King said while caressing her cheek.

“You’re good at foreplay too. You’ve got me all hot and horny. I want to have sex now. I really, really want it.”

“I want that too,” he said, “although the intensity of your desire may require a revised recourse on my part.”

“I’m sure you’ve already processed every possible scenario,” Kelly said with a seductive tease. “Why don’t you carry me to the bed and show me.”

“I’d be happy to.”

He smiled at her with a smile that looked distinctly human. Most robots could mimic a smile, but it rarely looked natural. Sometimes, it even looked creepy. That was because most robots didn’t have an emotional core capable of giving meaning, affection, and passion to a moment. King had that and it showed in how he went about pursuing their mutual desires.

He took her in his arms again. He then made use of that robot strength of his, lifting her up in his arms with little strain. He proceeded to carry her across the room with the utmost care. When they arrived at the bed, he laid her down like a groom preparing his bride for the final consummation of their love. Beyond just being in the presence of an attractive man, it sent Kelly’s passions soaring as much as her arousal.

“My dear King,” she said to him, “so loving and affectionate.”

“That is what I feel. That is what I seek. That is what I want to share in our sex.”

He kissed her lips again, as if to belabor his intentions for her. Kelly got the message and kissed back. More foreplay followed. With her lying on her back and him on top of her, their naked bodies meshed together in an intimate heat. Her inner thighs were now soaked with moist arousal. King must have sensed that because he changed the direction of their foreplay.

“Lie back and relax,” he told her. “I’m going to give you oral sex. I want you to be fully aroused before we proceed to intercourse.”

“Mmm…that sounds so practical, yet so sexy,” Kelly said through her daze.

“It’s not just pragmatic. It’s necessary,” King said intently. “For me to fulfill my purpose…for us to share in this moment…our bodies and our desires must be in perfect harmony.”

That almost made too much sense. Only a man with a robot brain could’ve made it seem so obvious. Both humans and sex robots understood the value of shared arousal, but a robot companion like King was uniquely equipped to pursue it.

He followed both the data and his passions as he trailed his lips down her face, neck, and torso. With care and patience, he made his way down her body, tasting her and touching her naked skin with the utmost care. Kelly gasped and moaned, her anticipation escalating with each passing second.

Finally, he arrived at his destination. She eagerly parted her legs, spreading them wide and giving him an unobstructed path to her inner thighs. Without hesitation, King focused intently on her womanhood.

“You’re already so aroused,” he said while caressing her outer folds, “but there’s still room for more.”

King went to work proved his words right. Tapping into that intimate data in his system, he began eating her out. He was as gentle with lips and tongue as he was with his hand, stimulating her most sensitive areas with the utmost care. His knowledge of female anatomy definitely showed. Kelly felt sharp surge of hot sensations course through her body as he hit all the right nerves.

“Ooh King!” she moaned. “Yes! That feels good. That feels so…so good.”

Her jubilant moans encouraged him. Not losing his focus, he held onto her thighs and lifted her hips, allowing him to lick and probe her depths with surgical precision.

More hot sensations followed.

More arousal came with it.

More gleeful moans filled the room.

“Mmm…so good,” King said, his voice muffled by her inner thighs. “You taste…so good.”

Kelly writhed under the feelings he evoked. She grabbed the sheets of the bed, holding her legs apart and arching her back through every blissful wave. It was everything a capable lover could provide a woman, but more so. It was as though King had analyzed every possible datapoint on effective cunnilingus and incorporated it into his actions. Beyond just knowing where all the right spots were, there was an intensity to his actions. He wasn’t just going through the motions.

He wanted her to feel good.

He wanted her to feel desired.

Most importantly, he wanted to satisfy her.

That, alone, made him a capable companion. King could’ve passed the test on his oral sex skills alone. However, there was one last step to complete.

“King…please!” Kelly gasped in an effort to communicate her desire.

“Hmm…I sense you are ready for intercourse,” King said, looking up from her pussy.

“Yes! I’m so goddamn ready!” she said intently. “I want it! I want you!”

“Then, it is time that I get ready as well.”

He rose back into an upright position. Then, while propped up on his knees, his eyes flashed briefly again. Kelly could tell he was processing a new batch of data. Doing so had a very noticeable effect, especially between his legs.

In a process that clearly reminded her that King was still a robot, his penis became fully erect. Once again, she couldn’t help but marvel at the work of her engineers. One biologist claimed that King’s penis, composed of synthetic flesh and operated by a system of synthetic processes, might be the most efficient manifestation of male genitalia in history. Kelly would be the judge of that, as well as the first of many beneficiaries.

“Wow! I’d say you’re ready too,” she said as she playfully eyed his cock.

“It is a simple process, directing my male flesh into its necessary state,” King told her as he hovered over her. “However, much like experience, the mere operation of flesh is a means to an end. What we do with it…what we experience with it…that’s what gives it meaning.”

“So true…for human and robot alike.”

“Especially for a robot,” he said as he lovingly caressed her face, “for it is only with meaning that we can know true intimacy.”

His sentiment echoed with emotion. Robot or not, King had powerful feelings that drove him to make love to her. Knowing he had those feelings gave meaning to the experience for her, as well. As their naked bodies came together, she embraced her robot companion in a culmination of real intimacy.

Just like before, it started with a kiss. As their lips became entwined, King got on top of her in preparation for their fleshly union. He kept things simple, aligning their bodies in a simple missionary position. That was perfectly fine with Kelly. She spread her legs wider, grabbed hold of his shoulders, and awaited the final phase of the test.

It commenced with a simple thrust of his hips. In just one fluid motion, the handsome man in the form of a robot companion entered her. Their union was so wonderfully smooth, her womanly folds eagerly embracing his masculine flesh. A flood of new sensations coursed through her, feeling her with another surge of energy and exhilaration. More quickly followed as King started humping, moving his hips and building an intimate rhythm.

“Yes! Yes! Oh yes! Ohhh King!” Kelly panted, clinging harder to his shoulders as she soaked in the feeling. “Ooh we’re doing it! We’re making love!”

“Yes! I feel it too,” said King with great intensity. “It’s…incredible!”

Those were the only coherent sentences that either of them got out from that point forward. Once King got a steady rhythm going, the experienced unfolded in a seamless succession of movements and gestures.

Two naked bodies moved together in a harmonious mantra.

The bed rocked, the sheets ruffled, and the walls reverberated with the many sounds of their sex.

They kissed, caressed, and embraced each other, conveying affection in accord with the pleasure.

Kelly savored every sensation. She also sensed King feeling something similar. He saw it in the way his expression contorted to the shared feeling. It was an important feature of a robot companion, having an ability to feel pleasure as well. Other companies had learned that lesson the hard way. Ideal Companions didn’t have to. Thanks to synthetic flesh and a robot brain capable of processing such feelings, King could also experience the joys of lovemaking like any deserving man.

It ensured that King didn’t just go through the motions or focus entirely on pleasing his companion. An important component of true intimacy was mutual satisfaction. For a user of a companion to feel satisfied, the robot had to know that feeling too. More importantly, he had to want and cherish it as well.

“Love…sex…passion,” King said through labored breaths. “Yes! I understand.”

Kelly replied with more pleasured moans and beaming smiles. He smiled back at her through his heated movements, sharing more kisses and sensual touching along the way. She felt both pleasure and affection. For many women, that was the difference between feeling satisfied and just getting off.

That difference really showed as Kelly neared her first orgasm. Usually, climaxing through simple, missionary style intercourse took more effort. She usually had to stimulate her clitoris or do something more elaborate. None of that was necessary with King. The path to ecstasy was simple, clear, and direct. When that feeling came within her grasp, she seized it with ease.

“Yes! Oh yes! I feel it too! I feel it!” she panted as the feeling approached. “Ohhhhh King!”

He briefly slowed his movements, keeping his hands on her hips and her eyes locked with his. He watched closely as Kelly achieved orgasm. She made sure she put on a good show.

Her eyes closed.

Her back arched.

Her toes curled.

It was a special kind of ecstasy, born of both intimacy and stimulation. It washed over her like a wave of blissful warmth. Time lost all meaning as she savored every moment. Her joy was obvious and apparent to anyone who saw, robot or otherwise. It sent a powerful message laced with critical data for King.

“Wow,” he said with awe.

Such astonishment was rarely associated with robots, but King was special. What he’d just done with her was special. Moreover, there was still plenty more of that special feeling to share.

“Kelly,” he said as she emerged from her orgasmic daze.

“Mmm…yes, King?” she said with a glowing smile.

“Would you like me to keep making love to you?” he asked, as though it were the most informal request possible.

“Yes! Please…keep doing it,” she said without hesitation. “This test should be thorough.”

He smiled, once again showing an understanding of humor that few robots could grasp. Not bound fatigue or traditional limits, he resumed his sexual movements from earlier. This time, Kelly played a more active role, if only to share in the blissful effort.

As King came to understand the intricacies and mechanics of lovemaking, the pace of their sex escalated. Movements became more urgent and gestures became more intense. Kelly helped mix up the style, leading King to make love in multiple positions that demonstrated a wealth of sexual verity.

Some were more effective than others. She sensed King really enjoyed doing it doggy style with her on all fours while he humped her from behind. He also seemed to appreciate cowgirl, mainly because it allowed him to fondle her breasts. Spooning proved somewhat clumsy, but he made up for it by using his soft hands to stimulate her clit from behind. He also had to slow down a few times, if only to help her catch her breath.

It led Kelly to even more orgasms. While she wasn’t as theatrical as she’d been with the first, she made it very clear that King was doing something right. He was making his lover come. That sense of awe soon evolved into a sense of exhilaration. In both his eyes and expression, she saw a special kind of ecstasy as well.

“This feeling…this moment…so powerful,” he said, his voice obscured by passion. “It feels so…”

He never finished that sentence, no matter how many times he said it. Kelly suspected that he was achieving some kind of orgasm as well. She remembered the engineers saying that the pleasure systems in male companions were tricky. They could mimic the orgasmic process in his brain and body, but the way it manifested was erratic.

There were a few technical reasons for that, but Kelly knew what a man looked like when he had an orgasm. Whatever form it took, it happened more than once for King. It allowed him to both share in the pleasure while continuing their sex. The test could not conclude until they were both satisfied.

“King…we’ve done it,” she said under her breath multiple times. “We’ve really done it this time!”

It referred to more than just their sex. What they achieved was something remarkable. For a robot, even one surrounded by synthetic flesh, to feel these sensations and experience such passion was a remarkable feat. Beyond raising the bar for robots and artificial intelligence, she and her team had created something that could share in the joys of progress.

Having long since lost track of time, Kelly didn’t know how many times she came or how long they made love. It only ended after one last climax that led to her collapsing on top of King in a blissful heap, so drained and satisfied that she could barley move. At that point, he didn’t need advanced sensors to know that he’d fulfilled his purpose. Even after their body movements ceased, he continued embracing her with tender care.

“We made love. We both came. It was a…powerful experience,” King said, his voice dazed by afterglow.

“Yes. Yes, it was,” Kelly said, still smiling widely as she rested her head on his chest.

“Are you satisfied, Kelly Kyler?” he asked. “Did I pass this test?”

“Yeah, you definitely passed,” she said without hesitation. “I feel so good…happy, satisfied, and loved. It’s everything you want in a great lover and a caring companion. I have a feeling you’re going to make a lot of lonely women very happy.”

“I look forward to that. Knowing I can fulfill my purpose so well gives me great certainty. Between the data and the feelings behind them, I hope to share that happiness.”

He cast her a smile as he lightly stroked her lower back. Kelly’s smile widened. She would’ve loved to spend the rest of the day enjoying the afterglow with King, but there were other tests to run and some had to be done fully clothed. On top of that, she and her tech team had to put King in sleep mode in preparation for his deployment. There were a lot of lonely women out there and they needed a companion.

“Trust me, King. There will be plenty of happiness to go around,” Kelly told him. “Thanks to companions like you, the horny women of this world will never go unsatisfied.”

“And the world will be better because of it,” King said, “but what of the lonely men? Will they have companions as well?”

“Of course they will!” she said with a humored laugh. “What do you think my husband is working on right now? And hopefully, his test went as well as mine!”

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Filed under sex robots, Sexy Short Story

John Oliver, Sex Dolls, And The (Unwarranted) Shaming Of Lonely Men

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There’s a general rule in comedy with respect to insults. If you’re going to demean, denigrate, or make fun of a particular person or group, you don’t want to punch down. Granted, you can do it. You can even get a few laughs out of it if you do it well and are exceptionally funny. However, in the grand scheme of things, you’re still an asshole.

It’s the main reason why comedians, be they stand-up comics or talk show hosts, generally direct their insults at the rich, powerful, and privileged. There’s a general understanding that if you’re doing well in this chaotic game of life, either through luck or talent, you can afford to take a few insults. At the end of the day, you can still go home and cry into a pile of money, fame, and affluence.

When you insult a group that has none of those things in any abundance, it’s usually not something people respect, even if they laugh. It’s why even great comedians like George Carlin had to be very careful and exceptionally skilled when he joked about rape.

We miss you, George. We miss you SO much.

Unfortunately, not everyone can be as funny or talented as George Carlin. Sometimes, insult comedy hits an undeserving target. It tends to reveal something about the comedian delivering the insult and where society is, in terms of sympathies. It’s often subtle, but the subtext is there and it has larger implications.

That brings me to John Oliver, the nerdy smart-ass British comedian who owes 95 percent of his fame to John Stewart. His show, “Last Week Tonight,” has won multiple Emmy awards and has garnered substantial praise for its colorful approach to tackling major issues, from the abortion debate to annoying robocalls to the flaws in standardized testing.

While I don’t agree with Mr. Oliver’s politics all the time or his approach to tackling certain issues, I consider myself a fan of his show. Compared to other satirical comedy shows, he tends to strike just the right balance between quality comedy and tackling serious issues.

However, he recently took a comedic jab that deviated from his usual style and not in a good way. It occurred during his episode that focused on China’s controversial One Child Policy. It’s an issue that has been subject to plenty of controversy for years and I think Mr. Oliver was right to talk about it.

One of the major consequences of this policy, which Mr. Oliver rightly pointed out, was how it led to a massive gender population imbalance. Due to a historic preference for sons, there are millions more men than women in China. The disparity is so great that it has caused major social upheavals.

While discussing some of those upheavals, the issue of sex dolls came up. In a country where there are so many lonely men, it makes sense that they would seek some form of outlet and it helps that the market of sex dolls is growing. This is where Mr. Oliver did a little punching down and, unlike his jabs at New Zealand, this didn’t have the same impact. See for yourself in this clip.

Take a moment to consider what he’s joking about here. There are millions of men in China who, through no fault of their own, are likely doomed to a life of loneliness. It’s not because they’re bad men. They’re not creepy, cruel, or misogynistic. They’re just at the mercy of math and demographics. There simply aren’t enough women in their country.

For these men, the old saying that there’s plenty of fish in the sea is an outright lie. Their options are limited and Mr. Oliver is making light of that. He essentially claims that men who use sex dolls are somehow even more pathetic and destined for more loneliness. He makes that claim as someone who is married, has a child, and doesn’t have to deal with those prospects.

It’s not just bad comedy. It’s hypocritical. Earlier in that same clip, he showed sympathy and understanding to a Chinese woman who was forced to have an abortion against her will. He’s shown similar sympathy to people in other situations, from women dealing with restrictive abortion laws to prisoners who had been screwed over by an unfair justice system.

Why would he show no sympathy for these lonely men?

Moreover, why would he make a joke about it?

To some extent, it’s not all on him. There is an egregious double standard when it comes to men who use sex toys. A woman can walk into a sex shop, buy a vibrator, and talk about using it without too much stigma. Sure, there will be a few repressive, sex-negative religious zealots who will complain about anything that gives anyone unsanctioned pleasure, but most people don’t take them seriously.

For men, however, there’s a taboo surrounding the use of sex toys in any capacity. Some of that comes from men more than women. There’s this not-so-subtle assumption that a man who needs a sex toy is somehow less manly. Any man who has to resort to one must be somehow deficient. It can’t just be that he’s lonely or wants to use new tools to please his lover. That would make too much sense.

For the men in China, and other areas where there’s a huge gender disparity, the situation is even worse. These are men who are facing both loneliness and sexual frustration. There’s more than a little evidence that this is not healthy for them on any level. That’s not to say that sex dolls or sex toys will help fill that void, but it will give them an outlet, just as a vibrator gives a lonely woman an outlet.

Unlike a lonely woman, though, these men can’t expect much sympathy. As Mr. Oliver demonstrates, they can expect plenty of shame and stigma. It doesn’t matter that they can’t do anything about their situation. They’re victims of circumstance, demographics, and basic math. Adding stigma and taboo to the mix is akin to kicking them in the balls on the worst day of their lives.

I won’t say that Mr. Oliver should apologize for his remark. He’s a comedian. He’s a citizen in a free country. He can say what he wants. However, the fact that he can joke about lonely men and still get a laugh says a lot about the current attitudes towards lonely men, in general.

We know they’re suffering. We know there’s not much they can do about it, especially in places like China. While we’ll give plenty of sympathy to the lonely women who resort to using sex toys, we’ll stick to shaming and stigmatizing the men who dare to do the same. Then, we’ll pretend to be surprised when they get angry and resentful.

Is that fair? No, it isn’t.

Is that funny? No, I argue that it’s not, especially with the way Mr. Oliver went about it.

He’s no George Carlin. He’s no John Stewart, either. In this particular case, he’s just an asshole.

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Filed under Current Events, gender issues, human nature, men's issues, outrage culture, psychology, sex in society, sex robots, sexuality, women's issues