Jack Fisher's Official Publishing Blog

August 25, 2018 · 11:22 am

Attending My First Beach Wedding!

I just want to make a quick, but notable announcement. I know most people don’t come here to hear about my day-to-day activities that don’t result in sexy novels or sexy short stories, but this is one activity that I feel is worth sharing.

As I write this, I’m preparing to attend my first beach wedding ever!

It’s true. I, a self-professed romantic, have never been to a beach wedding. I’ve been to multiple weddings before. I’ve even been to weddings at unique locations, including wineries and museums. However, I’ve never been to a beach wedding and something about that just feels off for a lover of love like me.

If that weren’t unique enough, the wedding I’m about to attend is a lesbian wedding. One of my oldest friends, who I’ve known since I was a kid, is getting married to a woman she has been with for many years now. They’re very excited and very eager to celebrate their love before friends and family.

It promises to be a beautiful moment in a beautiful setting. I look forward to sharing it with them and all the friends and family that will be attending. Being a romantic, I might get a little emotional and I don’t care in the slightest. It’s a wedding. It’s the one event where we can all channel our inner romantic.

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Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights, Marriage and Relationships, romance, Uncategorized

Tagged as beach, beach wedding, couples, Jack Fisher, Jack Fisher Blog, Jack Fisher Books, Lesbian wedding, LGBT wedding, love, marriage, romance, wedding, wedding ceremony

August 25, 2018 · 8:19 am

The Mixed (Yet Uplifting) Message Of “Malcolm In The Middle”

Not every TV show gets to have a series finale. In fact, it’s fairly rare for any show, be it a sitcom, a drama, or a Saturday morning cartoon, to get to that point. More shows tend to get canceled before a finale can ever make it to the drawing board.

When a show does get to that point, though, it’s still no guarantee that the finale will be satisfying. Ideally, the end of a long-running show should tie up loose ends, create a sense of closure, and reward the audience for sticking with the story since it began. That’s the best case scenario. More often than not, finales tend to be mixed.

Truly satisfying finales like that of “M*A*S*H” are a rarity. More often than not, a series finale is going to leave some fans elated and others upset. To this day, there are still people who argue about the finale of “Lost” and I imagine there will be just as many arguments about the finale to “How I Met Your Mother.”

It’s next to impossible to create a finale that satisfies everybody. The most anyone could hope for is a show that at least creates a complete story, even if it remains open-ended to some extent. That’s how the finale to “Breaking Bad” handled things and while not perfect, I think it worked in the context of the show.

There is another show, however, that didn’t try that hard to make the perfect finale. In fact, the show did something unique in that it embraced the idea that there’s no perfect ending, but there is a path forward. There’s no final triumph or ultimate reward for the characters. There’s only the understanding that life goes on, there’s no easy way to do things, and sometimes the things you don’t like will always guide you.

That show is “Malcolm In The Middle,” a quirky, but entertaining sitcom full of juvenile humor and questionable messages. For some, the show just took family dysfunction to an absurd extreme. Even so, it was pretty funny. Between lovable charisma of Frankie Muniz, the physical comedy of Bryan Cranston before he was Walter White, and the overly dramatic presence of Jane Kaczmarek, this show had a lot to offer.

Like “Married With Children” before it, this show went the opposite direction of the typical feel-good sitcom. Malcolm’s family aren’t the upstanding, upbeat models of society in the mold of “Father Knows Best.” They’re a collection of low-class, ill-mannered, under-privileged brutes who always find themselves in bad situations that inspire bad decisions.

They’re the kind of dysfunctional family that give other dysfunctional families a bad name. Part of their appeal was how they navigated that dysfunction. They rarely learned their lessons, they rarely underwent meaningful growth, and they often screw themselves over with their bad decisions. That’s what made it funny.

For seven seasons, the antics of Malcolm and his family followed a fairly successful formula. Malcolm, his brothers, and his parents find themselves in trouble or in over their heads. They struggle to rectify the situation, but often end up making things worse and incurring plenty of memorable comedy along the way.

In the series finale, however, the show takes that formula and injects something unique into the mix. After seven seasons of wild antics, spectacular failures, and memorable monologues, “Malcolm In The Middle” sent a message that went beyond the forces behind family dysfunction. I would even go so far as to say that message is more relevant now than it was when the episode aired in 2006.

The main premise of the episode revolves around Malcolm graduating valedictorian from high school. Being a certified genius, as revealed in the first episode, his life is the only one within his dysfunctional family that has the potential to be something. There are other assorted side-plots to the episode, one of which involves a giant bag of shit that Reese created, but this is the main catalyst for the ultimate conclusion of the show.

Shortly before graduation, Malcolm is given the kind of opportunity that most people can only dream of. Instead of college, he’s offered a lucrative job at a tech company that would’ve given him a six-figure salary, stock options, and a far less hectic life compared to the one his working class family afforded him.

Malcolm makes clear that he wants that job. He wants that life because, unlike his brothers, he has a chance to escape it. Like so many other times throughout the show, though, his control-freak mother steps in and stops it. She makes the decision for him. He’s going to college. On top of that, he’s going to have to work his way through, drudging along as a janitor instead of using his genius to make things easier.

Naturally, he’s not happy about this. It’s not the first time his mother has made choices that affected his entire life. In fact, that’s one of the most prevailing tropes of the show. No matter what Malcolm or his brothers do, they can never escape their mother’s neurotic control.

She doesn’t just want to control what he does after he graduates, either. She wants to put him and/or shove him down a path towards becoming President of the United States. Both she and Hal, played by Bryan Cranston, reveal that they’ve had this in mind for Malcolm since they found out he was a genius. It leaves him baffled, frustrated, and pretty upset.

Among other things.

However, this time his mother gives meaning to her decision that go beyond the usual “I’m your mother so do as I say” excuse. Instead, she does something that nobody on the show ever attempted to do to that point. She imparts upon Malcolm, and the audience by default, a series of harsh truths within the context of the bigger picture.

Those truths all hit hard as they come pouring out in a memorable exchange that helps encapsulate so much of the dysfunction Malcolm’s family endures. At the same time, it also makes a compelling case for why Malcolm should become President.

Lois: That doesn’t matter. What does matter is you’ll be the only person in that position who will ever give a crap about people like us. We’ve been getting the short end of the stick for thousands of years, and I, for one, am sick of it. Now, you are going to be president, mister, and that’s the end of it.

Malcolm: Did it ever occur to you that I could have taken this job, gotten really rich and then bought my way into being President?

Lois: Off course it did. We decided against it.

Malcolm: What?!

Lois: Because then you wouldn’t be a good President. You wouldn’t have suffered enough.

Malcolm: I’ve been suffering all my life!

Lois: I’m sorry. It’s not enough. You know what it’s like to be poor, and you know what it’s like to work hard. Now you’re going to learn what it’s like to sweep floors and bust your ass and accomplish twice as much as all the kids around you. And it won’t mean anything because they will still look down on you. And you will want so much for them to like you and they just won’t. And it’ll break your heart, and that’ll make your heart bigger and open your eyes and finally you will realize that there’s more to life than proving you’re the smartest person in the world. I’m sorry, Malcolm, but you don’t get the easy path. You don’t get to just have fun and be rich and live the life of luxury.

Beyond simply reinforcing how much Lois exerts control over her children, her words reflect the collective frustration of families mired in dysfunction. From the Bundy family in “Married With Children” to the real people in the world who have kids they can’t manage and jobs that don’t pay enough, she articulated a sentiment that is difficult for most non-working class people to grasp.

Malcolm and his family are essentially trapped in the dungeon of modern society. They’re low-class, ill-mannered people who never got the opportunities to climb the social ranks. Lois and Hal work demeaning, low-paying jobs that don’t provide nearly enough to support a large family, let alone one full of rowdy children that get in trouble every other week. How could they not be dysfunctional in that environment?

It’s an environment that keeps anyone who wasn’t born into a good situation from improving their lives. It’s an environment that breeds and reinforces the dysfunction that Malcolm and his brothers so hilariously embody. Any time somebody does get a chance to leave, they jump at the opportunity and never look back. Moreover, they don’t do anything to help those who never get that chance.

Lois knows this. She can already see that happening with Malcolm. If he takes that job, he’ll just get rich and comfortable, forgetting about where he came from and never giving another thought to those who weren’t as fortunate as him. That’s entirely understandable, as Malcolm’s reaction so nicely demonstrates.

Most people do take the easy path out of hardship, poverty, and dysfunction. It’s not just a temptation. It’s a reflex. Growing up poor and dysfunctional is akin to torture and, as is often the case with torture, people naturally do whatever it takes to make it stop. Lois, for all her neurotic tendencies, is pushing Malcolm to endure for the good of every other dysfunctional family like them.

What makes these final moments of the show so powerful is that Malcolm actually listens to his mother in this case. He doesn’t fight her, for once. In the final scenes of the show, he actually follows the path she lays out for him, going to Harvard and working as a janitor to pay his way through. He’ll continue to suffer the effects of his family’s dysfunction, but it’ll help him maintain perspective.

That perspective is something almost no modern President will have. They really can’t because most modern politicians are millionaires. They essentially do exactly what Malcolm suggested, getting rich first and then buying their way into power. The fact that many politicians seem so out of touch with ordinary people, especially the working class, gives further weight to Lois’ words.

Rather than leave his dysfunction behind, Malcolm will carry it with him. He’ll use it to bring a perspective that others either don’t know about or don’t want to confront. Unlike everyone else who tries to raise awareness of working class dysfunction, he’s smarter than them. He’s actually capable of overcoming the traditional barriers that keep people like him from achieving real power.

It’s an unexpected, but satisfying brand of hope. Most episodes of “Malcolm In The Middle” tend to end with a sense of misanthropy that reverts Malcolm’s family back to the status quo. They’re never allowed to get ahead or rise above their dysfunction. At the same time, though, they don’t sink into a defeatist malaise like the Bundy family.

That’s exactly what puts Malcolm in a position to do something more in the end. Everything that held him and his family back is now a catalyst for something greater. He has both the perspective and the aptitude to do great things, such as become a President who actually cares about helping dysfunctional family’s like his.

At a time when income inequality is on the rise and the working class is enduring greater hardship, the world needs leaders who have Malcolm’s perspective. Unfortunately, such leaders are exceedingly rare, especially as powerful institutions become more and more prone to the interests of the rich.

The “Malcolm In The Middle” finale dares people to imagine what we can do when capable people from dysfunctional backgrounds actually get a chance to do something greater. The show doesn’t offer too many details about what happens to Malcolm beyond Harvard, but it’s refreshing and even a little uplifting to think that a show full of so much exaggerated dysfunction could envision a brighter future.

That future may not improve for people like Reese, though, but that’s probably beyond Malcolm’s abilities. Some dysfunction is just too great, even for a genius President.

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Tagged as 2000s shows, 2000s TV, Breaking Bad, Bryan Cranston, Christopher Masterson, Dewey, flawed society, Fox Television Studios, Fox TV, Fox TV shows, Francis, Frankie Muniz, Hal, Jane Kaczmarek, Justin Berfield, Lois, Lost, Malcolm, Malcolm In The Middle, Married With Children, meritocracy, modern society, Network TV, poverty, Reese, series finales, sitcoms, socialism, society, television, The Bundy Family, TV, TV finales, working class

August 24, 2018 · 5:45 am

Reflections On Major Loss And True Love Between My Aunt And Uncle

I talk a lot about love on this site. Whether it’s in the novels I write, the short stories I tell, or the ways it may save our species in the future, I like to think I contemplate love more than most men will dare admit. I make no apologies for that. I am a self-proclaimed romantic. Make of that what you will.

As much as I love writing and talking about romance, though, there’s no substitute for love that’s real. It’s not some idealized concept or an elaborate sub-plot. It’s a real feeling shared by real people. There’s no need for fantasy because it’s there for all to see. No story, novel, or fairy tale can ever come close to capturing its essence.

I know this because recently, I had a chance to see and reflect on what real love looks like, albeit under tragic circumstances. Earlier this month, one of my aunts passed away. It was sudden and unexpected. She was in her 70s and she had some health issues, but none that weren’t manageable. Her passing caught a lot of people off-guard and broke a lot of hearts, none more so than my uncle.

I remember speaking to him a day after she passed. I could hear the pain in his voice over the phone. He kept saying that he didn’t just lose his wife of nearly 50 years. He lost his best friend. It was a truly heartbreaking moment. I wish I could put into words how it felt, but I don’t think those words exist. Even if they did, they would be too difficult to write.

In the days that followed, I met up with friends and family who knew my aunt. She was a hell of a character, one who would’ve found a role in any epic story, from a superhero comic to ancient folklore. She was the kind of person who could affect you with only her presence. She didn’t have to say or do anything to make an impact. Just being there was enough.

My uncle felt it more than anyone. Just talking to him and seeing him as we mourned her, I got a chance to witness what true love actually looks like. It’s a love that transcends many of the stories we tell about it. It’s something that becomes a part of you, one that just grows stronger with every passing year. Then, when that part dies, you feel it and it hurts.

However, the fact that it hurts lets you know just how real it was. My uncle didn’t avoid that. He let that pain show. Keep in mind, this man once served in the military. He’s one of the toughest guys you’ll ever meet. He’s not someone who hurts easily. Even when he does, he knows how to endure it. This was one case where he didn’t try to endure. He just let it show.

Say what you want about love being cheesy. When it’s that real, it’s powerful. It can be overwhelming too. Regardless of your gender, your background, or your capacity for strength, it’ll hit you harder than anything. That’s what makes it scary. For some people, it’s just easier to be cynical.

That doesn’t stop it from affecting us. My actually uncle met my aunt by accident. Less than a year after that meeting, though, they got married. They knew what they had was love. They didn’t run from it. They ran towards it and they never let go of it. For someone like me, who has only contemplated stories about such powerful love, seeing it manifest in that moment was profound.

My uncle’s heart is still wounded, but it isn’t broken. In talking to him, I could sense him finding strength in that heartbreak. He spent nearly half-a-century with my Aunt. They had forged many wonderful memories together, having two kids and over a half-dozen grandkids. Her passing doesn’t damage those memories. If anything, it makes them more precious.

I hope everyone, at some point in their lives, gets a chance to see that kind of love first-hand. Whether it’s among relatives, friends, or with your significant other, a love that real is something that extends beyond the people who feel it. We may never be able to completely capture it in a love story, but we can still experience it and appreciate its power.

I’m going to really miss my aunt. She was a wonderful woman who did so much for me and my family. I’ll still never miss her as much as my uncle, though. He loved her in a way that words and thoughts can never express. The fact their love existed in this crazy world and I had a chance to see it gives me hope. To all those who have lost someone they truly love, I like to think we can share that hope as we move on.

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Tagged as being in love, couples, death, death of a loved one, falling in love, family, family issues, happy marriage, Jack Fisher, Jack Fisher Blog, Jack Fisher Books, loss, love, marriage, old couples, romance, successful marriage

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The following is a review I wrote for PopMatters for Old Man Logan #46. Enjoy!

Old, Gruff, and Gritty in Old Man Logan #46

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August 23, 2018 · 6:16 pm

August 23, 2018 · 6:22 am

Abortion, Prostitution, And The Indirect (But Powerful) Link Between Them

When it comes to conflict between genders, there are many factors driving it. Chief among them is the unavoidable ignorance that comes with men not knowing what it’s like to be a woman and women not knowing what it’s like to be a man. Add those who identify as transgender into the mix and there’s a massive disparity in understanding.

While I consider that limited understanding to be the primary driving force behind gender-driven conflicts, there’s another force that is a close second. It has less to do with how people relate to one another and more to do with who determines the accessibility and availability of sex.

As an aspiring erotica/romance writer, this issue is more relevant to me than others. However, after a few notable news stories, one involving prostitution and another involving abortion, the issue is now relevant to everyone and that’s why I feel it’s worth talking about.

The concept of sex being this tangible commodity that certain people control is already bound to cause plenty of consternation among people from every part of the political spectrum, but for logistical purposes, this is how we treat sex in a modern context. It’s no longer something we do for survival or for the passing on of property.

Like food, sex has developed a more diverse role in the modern world. We treat it as a tangible asset that we must manage. Like any asset, though, there are logistics to it and those who do the managing wield a great deal of power. Why else would pimps be so glorified in popular culture?

Who actually wields that power, though, depends on the political affiliation of who you talk to. If you ask someone who is liberal, feminist, or left-leaning, they will claim that the power is held primarily by rich old men who try to manage sex by punishing those who do it in ways they don’t like.

Ask someone who is conservative, traditional, and right-leaning, and they’ll probably say the power is held by radical feminists and their submissive male allies who wield the power of sexual management. They’re just as convinced as those opposing them that they’re right. It’s difficult to convince them otherwise and I’m not going to try. That’s not the purpose of this article.

My goal here is to point out a connection from which the conflict has evolved. Given recent events in the political world, that evolution is likely to continue and not in a direction that benefits either side in the long run. To understand that connection, I need to dig a little deeper into the unspoken, but powerful link between abortion and prostitution.

I know that just talking about one of these issues is abound to send peoples’ passions into overdrive. I’ve discussed abortion before. I’ve discussed prostitution as well. I haven’t really touched on the link between them because they’re tied up in different political domains, but have enough similarities affect one another.

Prostitution is commonly known as the world’s oldest profession and for good reason. It only ever makes the news when there’s a scandal or a legal upheaval. For once, there has been an uptick in the latter rather than the former. It began with new laws that made it more difficult for prostitutes to operate online. In some respects, these efforts are the byproduct of a trend that has been going on since the early 2000s.

Most industrialized countries in the world accept, to some degree, that it’s impossible to stamp out prostitution completely. As a result, there have been more elaborate efforts to reduce it that don’t rely entirely on blanket prohibition. Currently, the most popular approach is known as the Swedish model.

In this setup, it’s legal for someone to sell sex, but it remains illegal to buy it. It’s akin to making it legal to set up a lemonade stand, but illegal to buy lemonade. While that sounds absurd on paper, the intent of the law is somewhat clever. It’s a means to criminalize the buyer of sex to give the seller more leverage. Since the seller is often assumed to be an exploited woman, it’s viewed as an equalizer of sorts.

Granted, the assumption that those selling sex are always exploited women is flawed, as an estimated 20 percent of prostitutes are men. There are people in the world who enter the business willingly, just as there are people who willingly work in coal mines.

There’s also plenty of data that indicates that the Swedish model doesn’t have the desired effect. There’s also no evidence that it has reduced human trafficking, either. That hasn’t stopped it from spreading to other countries. In the process, it has had another effect that goes beyond the issue of prostitution.

Essentially, this approach to combating prostitution places more power in the hands of women with respect to managing sexuality. Since they make up the majority of the prostitutes in the world and men are the primary clients, this dynamic ensures they have more leverage. They can, under this model, decide whether or not their client becomes a criminal. That’s a lot of leverage and not the kinky kind.

This is where the link to abortion comes into play. It’s an indirect link, but it utilizes the same dynamics. In countries where abortion is legal, the women wield a significant amount of power in terms of sexual decision-making. In the context of abortion, they can decide how the consequences of sex play out.

Women can, in this dynamic, decide whether or not to have a child if she becomes pregnant. Whether or not the father wants to child is irrelevant. The woman can abort the child against the father’s wishes. She can even have the child against his wishes, in which case he would be on the hook for child support for 18 years.

Again, that’s a lot of power for one gender to wield. That’s not to say it isn’t understandable. Women are the ones who bear children. They’re the one whose bodies undergo the 9-month rigor that is pregnancy. It’s totally logical that women would have more leverage in this situation because they’re putting themselves at greater risk.

However, and I know this is where I’ll upset a few people, there comes a point where that leverage can become excessive. There are cases where men lose their money and their freedom because of what a woman chooses. There’s no way for them to opt out of their parental responsibilities. That hasn’t stopped some from attempting to create a legal mechanism for that choice, but to date those efforts have not been successful.

Within this context, it shouldn’t be that surprising that abortion rights are steadily eroding. In the United States, it’s looking more likely with recent upheavals in the Supreme Court that this erosion will accelerate. Some are already claiming that we’re on our way to becoming the kind of oppressive society depicted in “The Handmaid’s Tale.”

While most of those concerns are overly apocalyptic, I think part of that effort is tied directly to who wields the power in the sexual landscape. Women are poised to gain more of that power as prostitution laws in the mold of the Swedish model spread. They’ve also gained even more leverage socially through the anti-harassment movement.

From the perspective of men, who cannot turn off their sex drives, women already wield so much authority in matters of sex. They’re the ones more likely to get paid to do it. They get to decide when and where it happens. They get to decide whether or not a sex act was consensual. They don’t even face the same stigma or consequences when sex crimes does occur and are granted greater protections by the law.

That perspective is not going to sway most women, though. The same women arguing for abortion rights are just as likely to argue for the Swedish model in combating prostitution. It’s a common thread among certain brands sex-negative feminism that see prostitution as an inherently oppressive force for women in every circumstance.

This is where the paths converge and where the fuel for the conflict gets a boost. Whether intentionally or by accident, both prostitution and abortion eventually link back to who wields authority in sexual matters. Both sides can claim some form of oppression. Both sides can even be right to a limited extent. By fighting to secure the most leverage though, they inevitably invite more backlash.

I don’t claim to know what the endgame is. I have a feeling that once sex robots enter the picture, and they have to some extent, there will be a major upheaval in the whole sexual landscape that neither side will be able to confront. Until then, though, the conflict over sexual leverage will continue. In the end, though, it’s unlikely that anyone will ever be truly satisfied.

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Tagged as abortion, abortion rights, anti-abortion, anti-feminism, feminism, gender, gender equality, gender inequality, gender-driven conflict, human sexuality, human trafficking, identity politics, illegal prostitution, legal prostitution, men's issues, men's rights, MeToo, political correctness, politics, pro-choice, pro-life, prostitution, Radical Feminism, reproductive rights, sex, sexual assault, sexual health, sexual relationships, Sexual Revolution, sexual violence, sexuality, third wave feminism, women's issues

August 22, 2018 · 5:05 am

Lessons In Mental Health And Outrage Culture From “Daria”

How does anyone stay sane in this day and age? Between fake news, outrage culture, alternative facts, and the everyday struggle to survive in an economy being subsumed by tech companies, I don’t blame anyone for being a bit uptight. I envy anyone who can step back, see the bigger picture, and retain their sanity.

For some, it takes a special kind of strength, perspective, and mental toughness to deal with the totality of the absurdities in this world. Then, there’s Daria Morgendorffer from her remarkably-ahead-of-its-time TV show, “Daria.” When it comes to maintaining a level head while surrounded by the insanities of the modern world, she’s in a league of her own.

I’ve made my love for “Daria” known before. I’ve even shared my excitement on the prospect of a new series. Every time I make the mistake of watching the news for more than two minutes, I find myself wishing I had her nuanced perspective. It’s part of what makes her character so enduring. She’ll see things for what they are, tell it like it is, and offer revealing insights along the way.

Earlier this year, research from Clinical Psychological Science indicated that mental health issues are on the rise among young people. Every day, it seems, a new mental ailment emerges from the evolving media landscape. While mental health issues can be serious, they can also be subject to plenty of absurdities.

As it just so happens, one of my favorite episodes of “Daria” tackled this issue in a way that’s more relevant now than it was back in the early 2000s when it first aired. The title of the episode is called “Psycho Therapy” and the lessons it offers are worth learning.

The synopsis of the episode is fairly basic. Daria’s mother, Helen, is up for a promotion. However, before the law firm she works at can consider her, she and her family are sent to a psychiatric center for personality evaluations. Hilarity ensue, but it’s Daria who ends up making the most astute observations, more so than the doctors on hand.

When Daria and her family first arrive, the staff is most concerned about Daria. Considering how she answered her survey with her trademark sarcasm, that’s understandable. However, when the doctors start to evaluate her and her family, they learn something remarkable.

Compared to everyone else in her family, she’s the most mentally stable. Even if you’ve only seen a few episodes of “Daria,” that should be pretty jarring. That’s not to say that she’s the picture of mental health, but according to the doctors in the episode, she’s the most well-adjusted. These are the exact words of Dr. Jean-Michael to Daria.

Dr. Jean-Michael: Daria, I was afraid you had some rather deep-seated problems. But I must say, you’re remarkably well adjusted considering…

Quinn: You’d think someone would’ve invented eye liner before me.
But no, I, Cleopatra, have to come up with all my beauty products on my own.
Oh, what a hard life.

In Quinn’s defense, she was hypnotized when she went on that incoherent ramble. Then again, Quinn Morgandorffer is probably the least defensive character in the show and would probably benefit from a healthy bit of therapy.

What makes this assessment more revealing is just how much Daria is surrounded by intense personalities, so to speak. I won’t go so far as to say these personalities are on par with mental illness, but they certainly walk the line. While that’s part of what makes these characters interesting, it also highlights an important concept that Daria Morgandorffer embodies.

At her core, Daria is a hardcore realist. She’s not a nihilist, a social constructionist, or an existentialist. She’s someone who sees both the surface and the forces just below that surface. From there, she makes a cold, calculated assessment that is devoid of needless emotional breadth, unless you count the sarcasm.

This is how she’s able to effectively break down the mental quirks of her parents, Jake and Helen Morgandorffer. Throughout the series, their relationship goes through a lot of atypical stresses. Just check out Season 3, Episode 10, entitled “Speedtrapped” for a clear depiction of those stresses.

On top of that, they both have some fairly eccentric personality quirks. Her mother is an incredibly high-strung, career-obsessed woman who constantly worries about how “normal” both her daughters are. Her father is an overly-dense, exceedingly histrionic man who always seems like he’s in the middle of a mid-life crisis.

Even a professional would have trouble making sense of their mental state. Daria does it in just a few short sentences.

Daria: Mom’s resentful that she has to work so hard, which obscures her guilt about actually wanting to work so hard. Dad’s guilty about being less driven than Mom, but thinks it’s wrong to feel that way. So, he hides behind a smokescreen of cluelessness.

Behind the heavy monotone and light sarcasm, this shows that Daria knows her parents. Given how they behave throughout the episode, she demonstrates that she actually knows them better than they know themselves. There’s even a scene towards the end of the episode where they try to mimic one another. It ends up getting pretty dramatic for everyone, except for Daria.

Helen: I mean Dammit! I lost another client! I can’t understand why! Dammit! Nobody likes poor old Jake. Should I think about the reason? Oh, must be my father’s fault. Where’s the newspaper, dammit!

Jake: Let me bring home the pizza. I have to be the one doing everything so everyone will thank me and tell me what a big superwoman I am. I’m very, very important and very, very stressed and I don’t have time to actually do anything for anyone else, but I can pretend I care, can’t I?

This is some pretty brutal honesty, even by “Daria” standards. They reveal some pretty unhealthy sentiments that probably need more than just advice and therapy. They reflect many of the quirks and side-plots that Daria’s parents experience throughout the show with Helen constantly obsessing over her career and Jake obsessing over whatever is stressing him out at the moment.

Daria’s ability to sift through all that and make a clear, honest assessment is both remarkable and refreshing. Even though these are her parents, she doesn’t pull any punches. Moreover, she doesn’t make any value judgments either. She doesn’t take sides or show scorn. She’s just tells it like it is. She says what the audience feels and does it in that lovable, monotone sort of way.

Her being able to make that assessment is profound. Doing so while maintaining mental stability is just as amazing. The fact she can maintain this perspective around personalities that range from ditzy cheerleader types like Brittney Taylor and touchy-feely teachers like Timothy O’Neill show why Daria is the emotional anchor of the show.

Back in the early 2000s, Daria’s knack for being level-headed while surrounded by so many bizarre characters made for great entertainment. Today, it acts as a radical departure from how we make sense of a world where every news clip, viral video, and hashtag is measured by the emotional outburst it triggers.

What Daria does in “Psycho Therapy” is something that has become far less common with each passing year. She makes a clear, concise assessment of other peoples’ behaviors and attitudes without casting judgement. She doesn’t whine about other peoples’ shortcomings or bemoan misguided efforts to treat them. She just points out the cold, hard facts and lets them stand on their own merit.

Contrast that with how every comment about someone, whether it’s in person or online, is laced with value judgments. You say you like video games and immediately, you’re judged as this angry fanboy who rages whenever someone dares to significantly change a particular aspect of your game. You say you’re a feminist and immediately, you’re judged as a man-hating bitch who blames men for every single ill on the planet.

It’s not enough to just have an opinion. It’s not even enough to have personal likes or dislikes. Everything you do and why you do it has to be an indictment on your politics, your identity, and the society around you. That’s not just misguided and judgmental. It’s mentally exhausting.

Being constantly judged, online and offline, every hour of every day is sure to be stressful. It’s no wonder why it seems as though more young people are development mental health issues. Daria may seem like the most unhappy person in her show, but compared to what some people deal with in the real world, she’s a picture of sanity.

At the end of the episode, it’s not Daria’s choices that lead to the resolution. All she does is provide commentary. It’s Helen and Jake, her emotionally convoluted parents, who chart their own path. That kind of lesson wasn’t as necessary in June 2000 when this episode first aired, but it’s one worth re-learning today.

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Tagged as 90s animation, 90s Cartoons, adult animation, animation, Daria, Daria Morgendorffer, depression, family, family dysfunction, family issues, Glenn Eichler, Helen Morgendorffer, human psychology, Jake Morgendorffer, mental health, mental illness, MTV, MTV animation, MTV shows, psychology, psychotherapy, Quinn Morgendorffer, self-improvement, stress, Susie Lewis Lynn, teenage angst, teenagers

August 21, 2018 · 5:06 am

Five Crazy Ways People Will Utilize Emerging Technology In The Future

Technology is amazing. Future technology promises to be even more amazing. I’ve covered some of the exciting trends for the near and distant future. Some are inherently sexier than others, but there’s no denying the appeal. Great leaps in technology promises to help humanity realize their full potential.

That’s not to say it won’t come at a price and I’m not just referring to the existential dangers, such as those involving artificial intelligence. As remarkable as the human species is when it comes to technology, it does have its share of eccentricities, for lack of a better word.

It’s not enough to just develop remarkable powerful tools for improving our collective well-being. We have to get creative in how we use them, sometimes to absurd lengths. I’m not just talking about the “creative” ways some people use ski-masks, either. Sometimes, new technology will inspire unexpected uses.

The Wright brothers didn’t invent planes with the expectation the it would create skydiving. The inventors of the internet probably didn’t expect it to be a massive hub for pornography and fake news. Those developing CRISPR, artificial intelligence, biotechnology, and nanotechnology are probably going to see their creations used in ways they never intended.

Now, I’ve never claimed an ability to predict the future, but I’m still human and I have an internet connection. I’ve seen plenty of footage of my fellow humans doing crazy/disturbing things with technology. If the past is any guide, then I feel like I can infer a few potential manifestations of future absurdities.

Some are more likely than others. Some may end up being completely wrong. Whatever happens, though, is still going to seem weird or crazy to everyone alive today. If you’re the kind of person who complains about the weird things young people do with their phones today, just you wait. Her are five weird ways that I believe people will utilize technology in the future.

Number 5: Women May Bear And Give Birth To Dead Loved Ones

Few experiences are more devastating than losing a loved one. This year, I had to endure that when my grandmother died. Every day, someone in this world has to suffer the sorrow of losing a parent, a spouse, a sibling, or a child. There are many ways to cope with that today, but the future will create more options, some more extreme than others.

One of those extremes involve women, or even transgender women with functioning wombs, bearing and giving birth to lost loved ones. Say you’re a woman whose spouse died tragically in an accident. Rather than live in a world without them, you decide to take their DNA, inject it into an ovum, and carry it to term. Nine months later, your dead loved one is born again and you’re reunited.

That sort of technology is not that far off. In vitro fertilization is a well-developed science. Cloning techniques have improved significantly since the late 90s. There have even been movies starring Robert De Niro on this very scenario. While the ethics and laws surrounding cloning are still somewhat messy, this technology is already coming.

Once it’s refined, there will be no reason why it couldn’t be done. It would just take someone who’s sufficiently devastated/daring to try it. This would definitely create some weird situations in which people give birth to dead siblings and children give birth to their reborn parents. It seems absurd, if not obscene, to us now, but it may end up being a legitimate way for some people to cope.

At the very least, it would certainly make for some interesting sitcoms in the future.

Number 4: People Will Purposefully Damage/Destroy Body Parts For Fun

Not everyone gets the appeal of extreme sports. Some just can’t wrap their head around the idea of doing something so dangerous that it could cause permanent/fatal injury. There are those who say society is gradually shifting away from such dangerous forms of entertainment. Some even say contact sports like football and boxing will be a thing of the past.

I respectfully disagree with that. I believe it’s going to get more extreme and more brutal. The reason I believe this is because of life-saving biotechnology that will help us regrow limbs, organs, and everything in between.

For most people, taking care of their bodies is a big deal and a primary factor in why they don’t do dangerous things. That’s because, for the moment, we only have one body and if we don’t take care of it, we’ll end up dead, disabled, or disfigured. Thanks to regenerative medicine, though, that may not always be the case.

We’re already on the cusp of being able to regrow organs in a lab. At some point, we may even able to grow entire limbs. Lose your arm accidentally while trying to juggle chainsaws? That’s not a problem. Just grow a new arm and you’re as good as new. Did you kill your liver by doing shots of diesel fuel and bleach with your friends? That’s not a problem either. You can just grow a new liver.

If injury or disfigurement is the only thing keeping you from doing something crazy/stupid, then regenerative medicine will give you all the reasons you need to try it. Even if you end up hating it, you’ll still be able to try it without worrying too much about long-term damage.

The kinds of extreme activities this could inspire is hard to imagine. Football may stop caring about shredded knees or damaged brains if regenerative medicine can just fix everything. The extreme sports we see today may not even be seen as that extreme because the injuries are more an inconvenience than a concern.

Considering how boredom may end up being the greatest plague of the future, I think it’s likely that people will find all sorts of ways to do crazy, dangerous things for fun. The prospect of pain may still keep some people from trying, but the prospect of boredom will at least give them pause.

Number 3: People Will Splice/Tweak Their DNA With Animals For Impossible Traits

I’m not the first one to make this prediction. There was an entire episode of “Batman Beyond,” an underrated Batman cartoon that takes place in the future, dedicated to this idea. In the episode, teenagers use genetic technology to splice their DNA with that of animals. It doesn’t just give them exotic looks that are impossible by the laws of evolution. It gives them animal-like traits to go with it.

Want to have fur like a cat and a tail like a monkey? With the right genetics, you can do that.

Want to have scales like a snake and muscles like a gorilla? Splice the right genes into your genome and you can have that too, minus the poop throwing.

People are already tweaking their genome through biohacking. Granted, those hacks are limited because even tools like CRISPR have limits. However, as those tools improve, it’ll be possible to do more than just tweak the human genome. In theory, we could use the genomes of every other species on Earth to enhance our own.

At first, it’ll just be to help us survive. There are some animals who have better muscles, better immune systems, and better resistance to aging. However, once those refinements are made, we’ll be able to get more creative. Why stop at just making ourselves healthier and stronger? We could turn splicing our genes with other animals into full-blown fashion trends.

Let’s face it, it wouldn’t be the craziest fashion trend humans have ever come up with. Look up something called “Lotus Shoes” and you’ll see what I mean.

Number 2: People Will Use Biotechnology And Brain Implants To Create Insanely Powerful Drugs

As I write this, the United States is in the midst of the worst drug epidemic in modern history. In 2016 alone, there were over 63,000 deaths caused by opioid overdoses. There’s no question that these drugs are as powerful as they are dangerous. However, through future advancements in biotechnology, these drugs will seem like breath mints by comparison.

That’s because all drugs, whether they’re pain killers or cheap vitamins, work the same way. Their chemical components interact with the complex biology of a person to induce a desired effect. Since they’re chemicals, though, those interactions are fairly crude. Trying to pursue those effects, be they simple pain relief or treating Ebola, is like trying to destroy a single house through carpet bombing.

Biotechnology, and the nanotechnology that will likely complement it, works more like a smart bomb. Rather than just flood the brain and body with chemicals, the drugs of the future will be more akin to programmable biomatter. They’ll have a measure of intelligence that will allow them to go to a particular part of the body and provide the necessary stimulation.

By being targeted and smart, that will allow for more effective treatments and alleviate pain. Why stop there, though? Why not use that same approach to produce the most potent, mind-altering effects our brains ever conjured? In theory, there’s no reason that the same smart blood that will treat disease could also stimulate every possible pleasure center in the brain.

As potent as today’s drugs are, they won’t be able to match what intelligent nanomachines in the bloodstream can produce. Beyond just eliminating pain without damaging side-effects, they could create a high that’s physically impossible to induce today. Add further brain enhancements to the mix through implants and all bets are off in terms of mind-altering highs.

Sure, that may resolve the opioid crisis, but it may end up triggering an entirely different set of problems. People can barely handle the drugs we have today. Will they be able to handle a high that’s mind-altering in a very literal sense? Only time will tell.

Number 1: People Will Eat Meat From Extinct Or Exotic Animals (Including Other Humans)

Producing enough food to support our growing population has long been the greatest challenge of civilization. Through the Green Revolution, and brilliant humanitarians like Norman Borlaug, we now have more food today than we’ve ever had in human history. There are still hungry people in this world, but producing the food is no longer quite the challenge it once was.

Thanks to biotechnology and synthetic meats, it’s about to get easier. Producing abundant food takes a lot of water, land, resources, and animals. The environmental impacts of that process are well-documented and prone to many fart jokes. Through new techniques like vertical farming and cultured meats, we may not even need fields or live animals to produce our food.

Back in 2013, the first ever lab-grown burger was created and eaten. It cost $330,000 to make and wasn’t that much better than a standard Big Mac. Since then, the cost has dropped considerably to less than $20. The only remaining step is to scale up production and refine the process.

That’s great for animal lovers and those concerned with environmental degradation. However, the ability to produce abundant meat without animals is going to open up an entirely new branch of food. If you can make unlimited quantities of beef with a few cow cells, why not try other animals to see what they taste like?

Why not take a few cells from a bald eagle, an endangered rhino, or even an extinct mammoth? If you have the cells and the DNA, then you can technically make meat from anything. That includes humans as well. While cannibalism is a major taboo in nearly every culture, why would it be if there was a way to eat human meat without ever harming a human?

Most people today probably wouldn’t try human meat, even if it was grown in a lab. Then again, most people alive 100 years ago probably would’ve been reluctant to try spray-cheese in a can as well. In a future where eating meat is no longer associated with the killing of animals, those taboos might not hold.

I can even imagine a whole culture emerging around it. Say you’re on a romantic date with a loved one. What better way to celebrate your love for each other than by eating burgers made from the lab-grown flesh of your lover? You love each other so much that you eat each other for a meal. It may seem weird, if not macabre, these days, but it may end up being an act of genuine intimacy in the future.

These are just some of the weird ways I we may use our technology in the future. If you have another idea for a crazy way people will use emerging technology, please let me know in the comments. Some of these trends may not occur within my lifetime or that of anyone reading this, but every generation ends up having a strange concept of “normal.” The future will just give us better tools to expand that strangeness.

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Tagged as artificial uterus, artificial womb, biotechnology, CRISPR, drugs, emerging technology, food, food production, future of society, future society, future technology, futurism, futuristic technology, gene editing, gene splicing, genetic engineering, Godsend, illegal drugs, illicit drugs, medical technology, medicine, nanotechnology, Opioid Crisis, regenerative medicine, regrowing body parts, Singularity, synthetic meats, technological singularity, technology, the human body

August 20, 2018 · 5:11 am

The Humor In Mutilating Men Versus The Atrocity Of Harming Women

It’s one of the most traumatic things a man can experience, the permanent damage or total removal of his penis. Whether by accident or intentional violence, he’s badly injured on a physical physical and psychological level. His ability to identify as a man, experience intimacy with others, or just feel basic pleasure is irreparably damaged.

Just mentioning the possibility of losing his penis will make most men cringe. Joke all you want about how much men glorify their genitals, but it really is an important part of their bodies and their identities. Losing it is like losing a limb, which does plenty to cause serious mental trauma. Add losing a key aspect of their masculinity to the mix and that trauma becomes amplified.

Despite that trauma, men losing their genitals is fodder for comedy. Recently, Netflix released a movie called “The Package,” the plot of which is built entirely around a man who loses his penis in an accident. That movie, if you look it up on IMDB, is listed as a comedy. Imagine, for a moment, a movie that tried to make a comedy out of female genital mutilation. How much outrage would that generate?

There’s nothing funny about women’s bodies getting mutilated or even harmed in any serious way. For men, though, it’s actually a pretty common trope. You don’t have to look too deep into the history of media to find jokes about men losing their genitals.

It’s a famous line in “The Big Leboswki.”

It’s a recurring theme in “Fight Club.”

It’s a sub-plot in an episode of “Rick and Morty.”

It’s a primary plot in an episode of “Family Guy.”

Even in media that isn’t overtly comedic, it still becomes a joke. Just look up the various internet memes about Theon Greyjoy from “Game of Thrones” for proof of that. In each case, the mutilation of men and the loss of their masculinity is portrayed as something that’s inherently funny. The fact that Netflix made a movie about that premise shouldn’t surprise anyone.

Even in the cases of real stories about real men losing their genitals, it’s prone to plenty of humor. The most famous case is probably that of John Wayne Bobbitt, whose wife cut off his penis after he raped her. While Bobbitt was, by all accounts, a horribly abusive man who deserved plenty of condemnation for what he did, his name still inspires jokes.

When people say the name Bobbitt, they don’t think of all the abuse he imparted on his wife. They think of how funny it is that his wife cut his dick off. While he was able to get it re-attached, many other men aren’t so lucky. Whether it’s public perception or daytime talk shows, a man losing his penis is still seen as funny.

Conversely, any media that shows a woman being harmed in any way, even if it’s just a slap in the face, is seen as an irredeemable atrocity. Watch shows like “Married With Children” or “The Simpsons” and you’ll see plenty of scenes where Al Bundy and Homer Simpson badly injure themselves through their antics. However, there are exceedingly few scenes that ever lead to the women being harmed.

Anything that leaves any lasting scar on a woman is inherently abhorrent. There are even major international organizations that work to combat practices like female genital mutilation. When women lose their reproductive organs from disease or injury, it’s seen as a tragedy. Anyone who laughs at their pain is rightly scorned.

Why is this, though? Why is it that an entire comedy can be built around a man losing his penis while any plot that involves a woman getting hurt in any way is dead serious? That’s not an easy question to answer. It can’t be entirely attributed to the gender-driven double standards that I’ve singled out before.

I don’t claim to know the full answer, but I think it’s worth discussing, if only for the sake of maintaining a balanced perspective. I don’t doubt that many have their theories. Some may attribute the humor we find in men getting mutilated to trends in modern feminism. I would strongly disagree with that.

I believe that this idea of laughing at male mutilation while gasping at female victimization preceded modern feminism by a great deal. I would go so far as to say it goes back much further than that. I believe this unique quirk in gender dynamics has roots in ancient pre-modern societies that transcend geography, culture, and ethnicity.

At the core of this phenomenon is one unpleasant, but inescapable truth. I’m probably going to upset some of my fellow men by saying this, but I think it needs to be said.

We NEED to be comfortable with men getting mutilated on some levels.

Take a moment to stop fuming. Then, take a moment to consider why we would need to be okay with this in both current and ancient societies. From a purely logistic standpoint, it makes sense.

For most of human history, men were expected to carry out the dangerous, back-breaking, body-maiming work that built our civilization. Regardless of location, culture, or traditions, putting men in these situations was necessary. Someone needed to fight the wars, plow the fields, hunt dangerous animals, and work in factories.

Until very recently, men had to fill that role because women were at a severe disadvantage due to the dangers and risks of child-rearing. In the pre-modern world, the most vulnerable individuals in a society were pregnant women, newborn infants, and women in labor. In 18th-century England alone, there were 25 deaths per 1,000 births.

With odds like that, there was a legitimate reason to give women extra protection and care that was not afforded to men. Men didn’t have the babies and no society could survive in the long run if it didn’t have a growing population. That’s why, for better or for worse, there are so many cultural and religious traditions that encourage women to remain in domestic roles.

Those same traditions, however, establish a dynamic requiring that we accept a certain level of male victimization. It’s one thing for a man to die in battle or having his genitals maimed in an accident. It’s quite another for a woman, who are tasked with birthing and caring for a new generation, to endure similar harm. Another man can still impregnate a healthy woman. No amount of men can impregnate an injured woman.

I know that dynamic is offensive to both feminists and men’s rights activists because it reduces their value to their reproductive capacity. I get why that’s offensive. Even I find it offensive, as a man. However, therein lies the most critical detail with respect to male mutilation versus male victimization.

These disparate standards, which predate the modern era by centuries, are still very much ingrained in our society. We still see women, especially those of breeding age, as more valuable than men. We romanticize young men who heroically sacrifice themselves in war, but recoil at the idea of young women suffering a similar fate.

Add emerging demographic issues with respect to declining fertility rates and the same incentives for accepting male mutilation are there. We still need people to have children for society to grow and function, but more women are having fewer children and more men are eschewing the pursuit of families entirely.

In terms of logistics, that increases the value of every woman who wishes to have a children and decreases the value of men who refuse to go along with that plan. In that system, a man losing his genitals or suffering a severe injury has to be funny in order for the situation to be tenable. By the same token, any harm coming to a woman has to remain extremely taboo.

Logistics aside, it’s still an unfair predicament that undermines the suffering and trauma that men endure. The fact that we have to be okay with their suffering while overvaluing the suffering of women is bound to fuel more egregious double standards. Movies like “The Package” certainty don’t help, but so long as this age-old gender disparity persists, men losing their penises will remain fodder for comedy rather than tragedy.

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Tagged as anti-feminism, bodily mutilation, body image, circumcision, domestic violence, double standards, female circumcision, female genital mutilation, female sexuality, feminism, gender, gender equality, gender issues, gender roles, John Wayne Bobbet, male circumcision, male disposability, male genital mutilation, male sexuality, masculinity, mass media, media, media violence, men, men's issues, men's rights, MRA, Netflix, Radical Feminism, sexual violence, The Package, violence, violence against men, violence against women, war, War on Men, War on Women, women's issues

August 19, 2018 · 12:01 am

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Staycation 2018 Edition

This is the time of year where most people either take their vacation or envy those who are able to take vacations in the first place. I’ve been on both ends before. After I got out of college, I had about as much vacation time as I did gold-encrusted toilet seats. I truly envied those who talked glowingly about the places they went.

That’s typical for a lot of young people. You get out of college, you start working, and you’ve got precious little time to take off. Add paying off student loan debt to the mix and vacations are a low priority, to say the least. Sure, you’ll still get a day off here and there, but you won’t have the money or the means to go anywhere exotic, expensive, or clothing optional.

For the first two years after college, I didn’t go anywhere special when I got time off. Instead, I became the master of the staycation. I even came to embrace it. I found that I could still feel plenty refreshed by just hanging out at home, sleeping in, and lounging around with no lengthy to-do list. While I still prefer a trip to the beach or a few nights in Las Vegas, I can still make the most of a standard staycation.

It’s becoming more common and necessary among young people, resorting to staycations rather than going exotic places with what little time and money they have. It can be limiting, but still plenty rewarding. I know plenty of people who are basically stuck taking staycations this summer. This edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is for those people and everyone who appreciates their place in our lives.

“Logistically speaking, a skilled porn star and a devout spouse require many similar abilities.”

“Drunk driving can accidentally take a life, but drunk sex can accidentally make one.”

“For someone with a food fetish, a late-night snack counts as foreplay.”

“Good sex can make up for a bad date, but it rarely works in reverse.”

“Some women want a handsome prince, but too many men just want a sexy maid.”

“An attentive lover puts as much care into personal hygiene as they do their oral sex abilities.”

“Pregnancy tests inspire more prayers than any holy site ever will.”

Whether you’re enjoying an extended staycation or lounging by a beach in Cancun, I hope everybody reading this finds some time to get away from it all. We all need a chance to step back, relax, and unwind. You don’t have to travel to the French Riviera. You can just travel to your couch and still end up just as refreshed. A sexy vacation to a beach full of supermodels is nice. A few days on the couch can be nice as well.

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Tagged as comedy, crude humor, crude jokes, funny, funny jokes, humor, Jack Fisher, Jack Fisher Blog, Jack Fisher Books, jokes, raunchy, raunchy comedy, raunchy jokes, sex, sex comedy, sex humor, sex jokes, sexy, sexy comedy, sexy humor, sexy jokes, Sexy Shower Thoughts, Sexy Sunday Thoughts, shower thoughts

August 18, 2018 · 7:50 am

“Intimate Healing” A Sexy Short Story

The following is a sexy short story I wrote involving love, sex, and treating headaches. Who among us hasn’t had a headache? There are many ways too treat it. This is just one. Enjoy!

“Terry, I have a headache.”

Usually, when a man’s girlfriend of two years uttered those words, it meant he was in for a lonely night. That was the standard response women gave their lovers when they said they weren’t in the mood for sex. Luckily for Terry Draka, though, his girlfriend wasn’t most women and their sex life had never been that standard.

“Say no more, Nina. I’m also extra sore tonight,” he told her.

“Glad to hear,” she replied. “Wait…that came our wrong. What I meant to say was…”

“It’s okay, babe,” Terry said with a humored grin. “I know what you meant.”

His lover cast him a look of relief and affection. Nina Highland had a knack for saying that carried mixed messages. She claimed it was the primary reason why she’d only dated two other men before him, despite having the natural beauty that made men stupid. Terry liked to think he’d been less stupid than most when it came to being with her. It probably helped that he knew just how to treat those headaches of hers.

“I take it that means you want to skip the movie we rented and take this to the bedroom,” he said to her.

“You know me too well,” Nina said sheepishly. “I’m not even sure I have the strength to take my clothes off.”

“That’s okay. I’ll take care of it. You know how good I am at that.”

She smiled playfully, latching onto his arm so he could lead to the master bedroom of their modest apartment. He would’ve carried her if he hadn’t actually been sore from work that day. Working at a quarry and operating heavy machinery for hours at a time took a toll on any man, even one who had been doing it since high school. Terry knew how to manage it, though, and it wasn’t just with aspirin.

Slipping his arm around his lover’s waist, he guided her into the bedroom with a mix of urgency and care. Once inside, he closed the door, dimmed the lights, and led her over to the foot of the bed. She looked more drained than usual. She must have had a rough day at the office. She claimed to love her job as a graphic designer, but the people she worked with had a knack for giving her headaches.

That didn’t bother Terry too much, though. It just meant he had more reason to treat her in their private time, as only he could.

“Here, have a seat,” he told her, patting an empty spot on the bed. “Just lean back and let me work my magic.”

“I hope you have some new tricks tonight,” Nina told him. “This is one of those cases that can’t be fixed with a simple back rub.”

“I never assume it’s that easy. Besides, treating my girlfriend’s headaches should be a challenge and you know how much I love challenges.”

His love’s grin widened as she did as he requested, sitting down on the bed with her legs dangling over the edge. He then stood in front of her and removed the dirty gray shirt he’d worn since he got home from the quarry, revealing to her the manly body that had been forged from years of hard labor.

“I’m feeling better already,” she said, her amorous gaze scanning his masculine features, “but I’ll definitely need more.”

“And I intend to give it to you,” Terry assured her, “and possibly a little extra.”

That should help get her excited. Even when she had a headache, Nina loved being teased. She didn’t mind if it was immature or goofy. It put her in just the right mood, which was critical for treating those headaches of hers.

After tossing his shirt aside, he knelt down onto the floor. The soreness of his knees and lower back – the most common ailment he’d dealt with, going back to his days as a football player in high school – escalated almost immediately. Terry wasn’t deterred, though. If anything, he was even more motivated.

“Lift up your hips,” he said. “I’m going take your pants off.”

“Probably a good time to let you know I’m not wearing any panties,” Nina told him.

“Is that supposed to surprise me?”

“I hope it sends the right message. This headache is just that bad.”

Understanding the subtext of her words, Terry worked with more urgency. He reached up and grasped the sides of Nina’s favorite black sweatpants, her preferred attire after wearing a pantsuit all day. He then effortlessly pulled it down her shapely legs, making it a point to trace his fingers down her newly exposed flesh. He knew his lover really enjoyed that, the gender touch on her skin and sensual overtones of such a gesture.

After pulling them all the way off, along with the socks she’d worn, Terry looked up and confirmed that his lover wasn’t wearing any underwear. She was now naked from the waist down, her toned thighs and feminine anatomy on full display to him. He always enjoyed such a sight, especially on nights when there were headaches to treat.

Now more motivated than ever, he rose up from the floor and undid the dirty jeans he’d worn since his shift ended four hours ago. He’d been wearing boxers, but that didn’t seem to bother his lover. It also revealed – in the form of a noticeable bulge – that he needed some treatment of his own.

“Ooh Terry,” Nina said, her gaze narrowing on his lower body, “you must be really sore.”

“For the best possible reasons,” Terry told her, “which requires the best possible medicine.”

Now, his boxers already getting tighter by the second, he crawled onto the bed with her and took her in his arms again. Nina eagerly accepted his embrace, holding onto his shoulders and entrusting him with the next phase of their shared treatment.

“Lay down on your back, close your eyes, and spread your legs,” he said. “I’ll get things going with the basics.”

“Basics…you’re really good at that,” she teased.

“And I like to keep improving.”

Terry spoke with such confidence, prompting Nina to comply even faster. She scooted up the bed, laid back on a pillow, and parted her legs into a perfect spread-eagle position. Her flexibility had always amazed him. It also made his efforts at treatment that much easier.

Licking his lips in anticipation, Terry already felt the soreness in his knees subside slightly as he got between his lover’s legs, giving him an up-close look at her pussy. She was already somewhat aroused. She didn’t usually announce a headache without first knowing where it would lead. She must have anticipated his eagerness to treat her.

At that point, though, he’d hoped Nina came to expect it. Treating her headaches had become one of the most potent catalyst for their relationship and it only seemed to grow as his skills at treatment improved. For that reason, Terry had every intention of exceeding those expectations.

“Take deep breaths, Nina,” he told her softly. “I’m going to confront that pain directly.”

“Yes. Confront it!” his lover replied, knowing as well as he did what that entailed.

Now settled into a relaxed state, Terry skillfully gripped her thighs with both hands and held them apart. Then, armed with the knowledge of his lover’s body and her need for relief, he began giving her oral sex.

“Mmm…Terry,” she moaned. “That’s just what I need!”

Desperation mixed with her favorable reaction. She was more sensitive than usual, a frequent side-effect of nasty headaches. Encouraged and motivated, Terry went to work, employing the oral teasing skills that had treated many other ailments throughout their relationship.

He was extra thorough, skillfully trailing his tongue along her moist slit, giving extra attention to her clitoris. He also probed the hot flesh of her vagina, stimulating those special areas that he’d come to know so well. They triggered strong, intense reactions from her lover. Her lower body shifted, her legs tensing and inner muscles tensing from the sensations he evoked. It was just what Terry wanted for his ailing lover, but it was only the first step in an extensive treatment.

“Feel that?” Terry whispered in between targeted teases. “Let me make you feel good. Let the pleasure override the pain.”

“Yes…I feel it,” Nina gasped, already clinging to her pillows as her body contorted to the feeling.

He continues his treatment, letting go of one of her thighs so that he could utilize his hands as well. As he used his tongue to stimulate her depths, he also applied pressure to her clit, adding more stimulation that evoked more pleasure. That pleasure directly countered the pain. It was so simple, in principle, but more effective than any medicine.

It might have just been unique to Nina. He learned early on in their relationship that she had always used alternative treatments for her chronic headaches. She’d been getting them since she was a kid. After a bunch of failed treatments didn’t work, she discovered masturbation. She claimed it had been an accident, an unexpected revelation that happened when she slept naked on her bed during a hot summer day. Terry sometimes questioned whether that was all there was to the story, but there was no arguing with results.

After that fateful night, orgasms became Nina’s preferred method for treating headaches. They worked, but made for some awkward moments, especially with her conservative family. She claimed she’d gotten in trouble on more than one occasion for masturbating in a public bathroom. She even said that before they got together, she pleasured herself three times a day to stave off her headaches. Terry would’ve had a hard time believing that had he not experienced a similar story.

“Terry…your tongue…your hands,” Nina gasped with growing intensity, “It’s working, but…I need more!”

Terry knew exactly what she meant by that. He hadn’t completed the full repertoire of his oral sex skills, but in some cases, he had to skip certain steps to complete the treatment. Trusting that his lover understood those steps more than most, he ceased his teasing and rose up once more.

“In that case, I’ll get to the really potent stuff,” he told her. “Lie down on your side, keep breathing deeply, and I’ll do the rest.”

“I know you will,” Nina told him, “especially if you’re that sore.”

He snickered at her remark. She knew him just as well as he did when it came to pain treatment. Moreover, she understood it in ways that his previous girlfriends never could.

Still taking steady breaths, Nina rolled over so that she laid on the far side of the bed with her legs slightly arched. As she got comfortable, Terry removed his boxers, which had become too uncomfortable. That often happened when he went down on his lover. It got his blood flowing in just the right ways, but that wasn’t the only factor.

Braving with lingering soreness in his back, Terry laid down next to her so that he was spooning her from behind. He lovingly slipped his arms around her, holding her close so that the warmth of his body soothed her discomfort, among other things. Her content purrs showed that she appreciated that warmth. When he reached down between her legs with one hand and began fondling her pussy again, her appreciation only grew.

“Ooh Terry!” Nina moaned. “You must really be sore.”

“More than usual,” he whispered into her ear, “but still treatable with your love.”

“Treat away, my darling!”

Terry kissed down her neck, evoking more purrs as he felt the heat between her legs escalate into full-blown arousal. Her body ached for him, albeit in a non-painful way. He craved her just as much, as evidenced by the full-blown erection now pressing against her back.

He wasn’t sure if it counted as a kink, but whenever Terry felt sore, his dick seemed to get harder with greater ease. Like Nina, he had an odd relationship with pain and orgasms. When he was in high school, he endured a particularly nasty injury while playing football. In addition to ending his dreams of going pro, he dealt with lingering aches that lasted past graduation and his first job. They were never debilitating, but he needed relief.

Whether out of desperation or coincidence, he found out that giving himself an orgasm helped alleviate the soreness, more so than any of the pills or treatments he got. He had been a healthy heterosexual man before the injury. Afterwards, though, he began masturbating with more frequency, so much so that he effectively conditioned himself to make regular orgasms his primary treatment.

He wasn’t sure whether there was any medical relevance to that approach. All he knew was that it mitigated his need for pain killers. While it did make for awkward moments, which included him getting off during work in between coffee breaks, he couldn’t deny the results. It also hindered his ability to form a functioning sex life with women. Then, he met Nina and found someone whose appreciation for therapeutic orgasms matched his own.

“I’m going to fuck you, now,” Terry told her. “My back…may affect how I do it.”

“I hope so,” Nina replied.

There was a mix of anticipation and desire in her voice. He did his best work when he had a little soreness to work with. He’d demonstrated that on many occasions since they had been together and he had no intention of changing that.

Still spooning her from behind, he guided his erect member with the moist opening. Nina shifted her body accordingly, making sure their bodies were perfectly aligned for sex. Once in position, he steadily inserted his penis up into her waiting folds. The smooth, steady melding of their flesh sent a wave of blissful warmth that overshadowed any pain or soreness.

“Nina,” he moaned, “is it working yet?”

“Yes!” Nina said without hesitation. “Please, Terry…heal me as only you can.”

In that fateful moment, healing and sex became one in the same. The act became the treatment and Terry went to work making it sufficiently thorough.

His rigid penis now surrounded by the moist walls of her vagina, he began working his flesh within hers. He moved his hips and worked his lower back, desire and pleasure doing plenty to subsume the soreness. He was not too fervent with his movements, focusing on quality over quantity in terms of energy. He and Nina’s brand of lovemaking wasn’t built around intense, rough sex. It was about filling a need while fueling a passion.

That steady, but thorough movements did the trick. Through every successive motion, his manhood slithered smoothly within the tight folds of her womanly depths. Every movement evoked a round of hot sensations, each supplemented by the intimate meshing of their naked bodies.

To ensure his love got the most out of the feeling, Terry kept rubbing his lover’s clitoris. That extra sensitivity caused a steady procession of soft, blissful moans. She kept clinging to the sheets and pillow, her body shuddering with every bit of sensation they conjured. Headaches or not, the unfiltered feelings of their lovemaking flowed freely. Whether because of or in spite of those headaches, Nina approached orgasm fairly quickly.

“Terry!” she gasped. “The healing…so good! Going to…make me…come!”

“So long as it helps your headache,” Terry whispered playfully.

As she neared the brink, his love grasped the hand not rubbing her clit and interlocked her fingers with him. She then held on tight, her body arching with greater fervor every time he pushed his member into her depths. Terry knew how to stimulate all those special areas, applying just the right amount of stimulation and passion. When she finally crashed that threshold, he held her closely in order to maximize his treatment.

“Oohhh Terry!”

Those loving, euphoric words echoed throughout the room. In his embrace, he felt Nina’s inner muscles contract around his penis in accord with her release. Her torso arched, her legs shifted, and her toes curled under the weight of the feeling. It was a mix of music and spectacle, his love achieving orgasm. The fact it also treated a headache was almost a bonus.

He kept Nina in his arms, giving her all the time she needed to soak up the feeling and its healing properties. When the blissful shudders of her body subsided, she turned over so that she faced him, removing his penis from her vagina in the process. In her eyes and her expression, Terry saw no more discomfort. She saw only the kind, affectionate gaze of his lover.

“It’s official. I feel better now,” she told him, “and it’s all thanks to you.”

“Just making sure my girlfriend gets the treatment she needs,” Terry replied with a proud grin.

“Such a caring, dedicated man,” Nina said, “even with a sore back.”

“Which already feels better, mind you,” he said.

“Good to hear,” she said, “but if my boyfriend is going to be that thorough in treating me, then it’s only fair that I do the same.”

Not waiting for second opinion, Nina took the initiative, as only she could. She captured his lips in a soft kiss. In the process, she also got on top of him and straddled his waist. When their lips parted, she rose into an upright position and realigned her pelvis with his still-erect manhood. Now lying on his back, his head comfortably resting on a pillow as his lover looked poised to reunite their flesh, he was now in the perfect position to get the best treatment.

“Nina,” he said as he gazed up at her naked body, “only you could make fairness seem so sexy.”

“And therapeutic,” she added with playful grin. “Now sit back while I ride your dick to ecstasy. If that doesn’t help your back feel better…”

“It will,” Terry told her before she could finish. “It always does.”

Still grinning and looking plenty motivated, Nina went to work on his treatment. With both hands now firmly gripping his torso, she lowered her hips and guided his penis back into her depths.

That hot feeling of her moist flesh surrounding his triggered a fresh round of blissful sensations. With a content moan and total trust in his lover’s expertise, Terry placed his hands on her hips and watched Nina make love to him with love and dedication. Using the same focused technique he had used with her, she took him to a world of ecstasy.

“Mmm…Nina,” he moaned.

“That’s it, my love. Feel it…feel me,” Nina said with that soft, loving voice of hers. “Let it soothe you.”

Her efforts did plenty of soothing and then some. With the utmost care, she maneuvered her hips in a steady motion, guiding her wet folds along the length of his cock. Every movement brought more sensations. Every sensation brought more ecstasy. The areas where soreness once festered gave way to the sweet bliss of his lover’s passion.

Nina was like an angel dancing adopt him, imparting into him her healing power. The way she moved as she rode him, his body moving with her in a harmony of shared passion, elevated the feeling beyond that of basic sex. It was like their bodies completed one another, their flesh gaining strength from their intimate union. From that strength came healing and from that healing came ecstasy.

It wasn’t just pleasurable. It was therapeutic. Maybe it only felt therapeutic because it felt so good. More than one friend or ex-girlfriend had pointed that out to Terry, but he didn’t care. It still worked beautifully. It healed his aches, mended his pain, and drew him closer to a badly-needed release.

“Nina…so soothing,” Terry moaned. “I’m getting…so close. Getting…so close.”

“Then, let me take you there, Terry,” she said to him. “Let me heal you.”

She stepped up the pace of her movements just enough to push him to the brink while still maintaining that steady rhythm. As her tight folds slithered along his manly length, she leaned over and kissed him lovingly. The added feeling of her breasts pressing up against his chest made for an even more intimate feel, which helped take him the rest of the way into that world of healing bliss.

“Ohhh Nina!” he exclaimed.

As he entered that world, he embraced his lover with newfound strength. A white hot surge of bliss erupted from his course, sending ripples of pleasure coursing through his body. It was like a warm blanket being cast over his aching body, filling him with contentment and comfort that washed away any pain that might have lingered.

Nina, who embraced him back every step of the way, grasped his hands with hers again, holding onto him as he immersed himself in the feeling. His member throbbed inside her, his sexual fluids mixing with hers in a pool of intimate bliss. In that moment, the soreness was gone. The pain of any headache or injury had been effectively pushed. It was just him and Nina right now in a loving embrace, sharing in the healing power of their love.

“God, I love you,” Terry said, still breathless.

“I love you too,” Nina told him. “I take it that means you’re feeling better too.”

“I am. With you, I never feel sore for very long.”

“And my headaches never last that long either. Guess our love is just that strong.”

“That…or making love is just the perfect medicine!”

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