Jack Fisher's Official Publishing Blog

August 6, 2018 · 5:25 am

Why You Can’t Believe In Eternal Hell, Be Anti-Abortion, And Be Morally Consistent

Brace yourself because I’m about to talk about two topics that make people very uncomfortable. One is abortion, a heated political topic that is poised to get even more heated, due to recent political upheavals. The other is Hell, a distressing theological issue that makes us dwell/lament on our impending death. If that weren’t volatile enough, I’m going to tie both topics together.

Rest assured, I’m not doing this to combine a couple of controversial issues for dramatic effect. While I loathe talking about issues like abortion, I don’t avoid it when it reveals something important about a particular movement or can demonstrate important lessons about society.

When it comes to Hell, a topic that heats up any debate between believers and non-believers, the conversations are just as difficult. I still feel they’re worth having. This one, in particular, counts as one of them because there are certain implications that warrant a more nuanced discussion.

It’s no secret that those who are vehemently anti-abortion also happen to be religious. Anti-abortion protesters even cite bible passages to justify their position. Now, I can understand and even accept certain ethical aspects of the pro-life position. However, when religion enters the debate, that’s where some real disconnects emerge.

That’s because when those factors enter the pro-life equation, both the morality and the math break down. To understand why, it’s important to focus on an aspect of the abortion debate that the late, great George Carlin famously emphasized. He sought consistency in the anti-abortion debate and noted its rarity in the most hilarious way possible.

Consistency is important if your argument is going to have merit. Even with emotionally-charged topics like abortion, consistency is key to ensuring that an argument has some semblance of logic. Since logic and faith tend to conflict, especially in matters of science, bringing religion into the mix can easily derail that consistency.

This is where the issue of Hell enters the picture. It’s a very unpleasant, but very critical concept to certain religions, namely Christianity and Islam. It’s central to their theology, which emphasizes punishment for the sinful. It’s a very morbid, but very relevant concept because everybody dies and nobody knows for sure what happens afterwards, if anything.

In the abortion debate, Hell matters for the anti-abortion side because their most frequent refrain is that abortion is murder. Having an abortion is the taking of a human life and murder is an egregious sin. It’s one of the few sins that’s enshrined in both secular law and the 10 Commandments.

By holding that position, though, it raises an important implication for both the consistency of the anti-abortion position and the theology used to justify it.

If abortion really does take a life, then what happens to that life? Does it go to Heaven or Hell?

That’s a critical question to answer, but it’s here where both the consistency and the moral underpinnings of the anti-abortion debate break down. In fact, it doesn’t even matter which way the question is answered. It still has critical implications that make an anti-abortion stance for religious reasons untenable.

To understand why, we need to look at the possible answers to the question and examine the bigger picture. Say, for instance, that you believe the deity you worship saves the souls of aborted fetuses. They all get to go to Heaven because sending unborn children to Hell just doesn’t make sense for a loving God.

By that logic, though, wouldn’t abortion actually be the best thing a woman could do for her unborn child? If, by aborting a pregnancy, she guarantees that her child goes to Heaven, wouldn’t that be the greatest act of love a mother could give?

In that moral framework, any woman who gives birth is basically gambling with their child’s soul. By bringing them into a sinful world, they put them in a position to live a life that will eventually send them to Hell. It doesn’t matter if that chance is remote. It doesn’t even matter if the deity reserves Hell for the worst of the worst. Any child born still has a non-zero chance of damnation.

In that context, being anti-abortion is the worst position to take for someone who believes that their deity sends aborted fetuses to Heaven. If anything, they would have to be in favor of abortion for every pregnancy, planned or unplanned, because it means more souls in Heaven and fewer in Hell.

The implications are just as distressing if you answer the question the other way. If your deity sends aborted fetuses to Hell, then logic follows that this deity cannot be just or loving. A fetus, by default, has no ability to even contemplate sin, let alone commit it. Sending it to Hell implies that sin, itself, is an empty concept.

It also undercuts key aspects of Judeo-Christian theology, which says that someone must sin to warrant damnation. Holding both a fetus and a young child with a limited capacity to understand such concepts is untenable. Keep in mind, Hell is supposed to be full of torture and suffering. What kind of deity puts a child through that?

Even if the deity knows which fetus or small child is destined to sin and punishes them accordingly, that still renders the anti-abortion position pointless. If the deity already knows which life is damned, then why does it matter whether a woman opts to have an abortion? If that has already been determined, then abortion has no religious implications whatsoever.

Whatever the case, the very concept of Hell creates an illogical loop that is incapable of consistency. Even if you grant the most generous assumptions of a religious argument, it still falls apart as soon as you try to put it into an ethical framework.

While the very concept of Hell is subject to all sorts of moral complexities, it effectively supercedes those complexities in the abortion debate. Either Hell is full of innocent aborted souls or is devoid of them. In both cases, it reveals more about the deity and the adherents of a religion than it does the actual issue.

None of this is to say that those who make anti-abortion arguments on the basis of faith aren’t sincere. I don’t doubt for a second that they are. They genuinely believe that abortion is immoral and constitutes murder. However, when it comes to making a moral argument, consistency matters. Without it, the arguments are entirely arbitrary and there’s no winning that debate.

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Filed under gender issues, human nature, philosophy, political correctness, religion, sex in society, women's issues

Tagged as abortion, abortion rights, anti-abortion, atheism, belief in Hell, Christianity, conservatism, conservative, God, Heaven, Hell, human nature, human rights, Islam, Judaism, liberal, liberalism, libertarian, life after death, pro-abortion, pro-choice, pro-life, religion, religious right, religous culture, Satan, sex, Sex and God, sex and religion, sexuality, the bible, theology, women's health, women's rights

August 5, 2018 · 12:06 am

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Dog Days Of Summer Edition

It’s the first Sunday of August and that usually means we’ve officially entered the dog days of summer. We’ve all heard that expression at some point and not just from baseball fans. It usually signifies the point in the year in which the summer heat starts to burn and no amount of cold lemonade can stop it.

Now, I love summer as much as the next person who enjoys pool parties and beach trips. I love the hottest days of summer more than the coldest days of winter. At the same time, though, there’s a point where even I find the heat unbearable. Between sunburns, humidity, and hungry mosquitoes, even I can’t overlook the flaws.

As I write this, I’m nursing more than my share of sunburns and mosquito bites. I’ve also seen more than a few days where the temperature got into the triple digits and even my love of sleeping naked only goes so far. August tends to bring out the best and worst parts of summer and as much as I strive to stay positive, I can’t overlook how much my sun burns hurt.

I’m still not eager for winter to get here and hinder my ability to lounge around naked, but I’m not going to hide from the difficulties. As such, I dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the dog days of summer and how we cope with them. Enjoy!

“Tough love and rough sex aren’t the same thing, but they use similar methods.”

“Anyone with a spanking fetish who is still insulted by a slap in the face is sending mixed messages.”

“Is there any feasible way to tell someone you think of them while you masturbate and present it as a compliment?”

“The fact that men are repulsed by the workings of female genitalia, but still want to put their dick in it says a lot about the power of their sex drive.”

“Marriage is like paying for a reserved parking spot with a piece of your heart, a part of your soul, and significant legal liabilities.”

“True love is being able to fart in the same bed with someone.”

“Talking to your lover about what you want in bed is like giving them a guide, but just telling them what to do is like giving them homework.”

I hope this provides enough distraction from the humidity, among other things. We’re in the middle of summer and probably have a few more heat waves to endure. That means more sun burns and bug bites lie ahead of us. As frustrating as they can be, I’ll take that over shoveling a foot of snow off my driveway any day of the week.

Al Bundy, Circumcision, And Double Standards In Humor

When you want to know how taboo a topic is, it helps to look at how sensitive people are to jokes about it. Most people can comfortably joke about teenagers, old people, the President, the French, and the Pope. Some of those jokes even make it into popular cartoons and sitcoms that we still laugh at to this day.

Then, there are topics for which making jokes is a gamble. Make the wrong remark at the wrong time and it could really cost you. Just ask Gilbert Gottfried or Roseanne Barr. The stakes get even higher when you joke about religion. Some have a better sense of humor than others, but those that don’t tend to make the news for all the wrong reasons.

Since humor and religion rarely mix, I want to focus on a topic that’s slightly less sensitive in circumcision. I say slightly because gender-specific humor is a lot trickier these days. Old jokes about women drivers and gay men just don’t work anymore and not because more cars are driving themselves.

Between trends in feminism and outrage over Wonder Woman’s armpit hair, the current state of gender politics is no laughing matter. I’ve talked about gender conflicts on many occasions and I’ve also discussed serious issues surrounding circumcision. I’m also aware that the current issues surrounding circumcision aren’t on many peoples’ radar, but I still think it’s worth talking about.

This isn’t just about representation in media or offensive stereotypes. This is about purposefully mutilating parts of the human body. When it happens to women, it’s a major problem that warrants major resources to combat. When it happens to men, though, it’s no big deal and prone to plenty of humor.

It’s more than just a double standard. It reveals a lot about our overall attitudes when we’re willing to joke about something. It shows how much the issue matters and how much energy we’re willing to put in to confront it. To understand the state of circumcision for men, you need look no further than an old episode of “Married With Children.”

I’ve mentioned this classic Fox sitcom before. I put it at the top of my list of TV shows that could never be made today. The fat jokes alone would get it cancelled. It’s a show that went out of its way to be controversial, much to the chagrin of a Michigan house wife. That included an episode about circumcision.

This particular episode was called “A Little Off The Top” and if you know anything about male circumcision, you understand why that’s an overly appropriate title. It starts with Al Bundy getting injured in a basketball game, going to a hospital, and getting circumcised due to a medical error.

It’s all portrayed with typical “Married With Children” hilarity. In fact, one of the most memorable moments of the episode is when Peggy gets a call from the hospital and Marcy, the Bundy family’s neighbor and one of Al’s many enemies, laughs hysterically. I’m not going to lie. When I saw a recent rerun of the episode, I laughed too.

That’s the genius of “Married With Children.” It can take depressing situations like a loveless marriage, a lousy job, and idiot kids and make it funny. It’s part of why this show is one of my favorite shows of all time. When you strip away the humor in this episode, though, there are some disturbing overtones.

To illustrate, here’s a quick thought experiment. Imagine, for a moment, that this isn’t happening in a TV show and you just randomly stumbled across a news article.

“Local Chicago man rushed to a hospital after injury playing basketball is mistakenly circumcised. Family and neighbors make fun of him.”

Take away the iconic Bundy family and the context of a sitcom. Just look at it in terms of raw facts. A man gets an injury, goes to the hospital, has his genitals mutilated against his will due to an error, and is laughed at because of it. The fact that it happens to Al Bundy makes it funny. If it happened to anyone in the real world, it’s not likely to be as funny.

Medical errors are already horrifying enough. This one is extra disturbing for men because it involves our genitals. There’s already a growing reservation about circumcising baby boys for no medical reason who cannot consent, which did not exist when “Married With Children” was on the air. On top of that, there’s a distinct double standard in play.

Even in the lewd world of a 90s Fox sitcom, there are lines that even the Bundy family cannot cross. If you were to reverse the genders in this episode, as I’ve put forth as part of previous thought experiments, then the humor just doesn’t work. If the episode involved a woman who’d been circumcised against her will by accident, then it wouldn’t be funny. It would be disturbing.

The reasons for that aren’t entirely simple. There is a medical and logistical difference between male and female circumcision. For the most part, female circumcision in its various forms are prone to more complications, even in a medical setting. Male and female anatomy are different. There’s no getting around that.

However, the logistics are the same. They both involve cutting, altering, or outright mutilating someone’s genitals against their will. Despite these similarities, one is still capable of being funny while the other is not.

That idea matters because when something can be funny, it impacts how seriously we take it as a society. We can joke about ditzy blonde women, bone-headed men, and irresponsible teenagers because they’re not seen as dire issues. That’s also the reason why we can make jokes about the Vatican in 2018 that probably would’ve gotten people killed half-a-century ago.

The fact that male circumcision can be a joke or the premise of a sitcom says that it’s not serious enough to be on the same level as female genital mutilation. They may not be the same thing, but the implications are still there. When a woman is mutilated, it’s a travesty. When a man is mutilated, it’s comedy. That is not a trivial gap.

I doubt “Married With Children” was trying to make a statement about male circumcision when the episode first aired. The show made a lot of controversial jokes and circumcision barely cracks the top ten. Even if that episode aired today, it probably wouldn’t be that controversial, which says a lot about how little our attitudes about male circumcision have changed since the mid-90s.

In that same time, though, efforts to combat female genital mutilation have gained ground. Efforts to beautify and protect the female body are part of a larger social trend. However, those efforts are not equally prescribed to men, even when the concept is the same.

Now, I’m in no ways in favor of making jokes about male circumcision taboo. Historically speaking, making anything taboo only tends to make an issue worse. I’m also not advocating that we start joking about female genital mutilation, either. My point in citing a memorable episode from a raunchy 90s sitcom is to show the vast disparity in the circumcision debate.

When something is a joke for one group of people, but an atrocity for another, then there’s a major disconnect in the issue. Both sides can and should be discussed seriously. Both can and should be held to similar standards are humor, as well. When you start making exceptions for one over the other, then that obscures the debate for both.

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Filed under circumcision, gender issues, political correctness, sex in media, sex in society, sexuality

Tagged as Al Bundy, anti-feminism, circumcision, comedy, dark comedy, dark humor, double standards, female circumcision, female genital mutilation, feminism, gender, gender double standards, gender equality, gender inequality, gender issues, gender roles, humor, intactivism, intactivist, male circumcision, Married With Children, masculinity, men's health, men's issues, men's rights, Radical Feminism

August 3, 2018 · 5:24 am

The Hard Consequences Of Soft Censorship

If you walked up to any random person on the street and asked them how they feel about censorship, chances are they would say they’re against it. Absent any context, most people equate censorship with tyranny and rightly so. Historically speaking, tyrannical societies are not beacons of free speech.

When you add context to that same question, though, then people are a bit more diverse in their response. They may say they’re against censorship, but they’ll also oppose hate speech and even support efforts to remove it from certain venues or platforms. It’s not the same as government-suppressed speech, but it’s still censorship on some levels.

A government’s effort to prohibit or punish speech is more daunting. That’s exactly why we have things like the First Amendment. Governments are big, powerful entities with armies and tax collectors. Their brand of censorship is a lot more concrete than others. That’s why such extensive legal protections are necessary.

When it comes less overt forms of censorship, though, the line isn’t as clear and neither are the legal protections. It can take the form of de-platforming a controversial speaker, which has happened on college campuses. It can also take the form of banning certain websites or certain subgroups within a website. These efforts aren’t usually called censorship. They’re usually referred to as preventing the spread of hate.

Personally, I don’t buy that excuse. As much as I abhor some of the things people say, both online and in person, any attempt to indirectly silence them is still censorship in my book. I call it “soft censorship” because it doesn’t involve government force. In many cases, it’s a grass roots effort to combat certain ideas that many find offensive.

That seems to be the most notable standard these days, the offensiveness of certain speech. That’s understandable, given how the world is more connected than it has ever been in human history. It’s now easier than ever for hateful, offensive speech to spread. Conversely, it’s also easy for the outrage to that speech to spread as well.

As a result, the forces behind that outrage are often the most powerful forces behind soft censorship. That outrage takes many forms too. It can be driven by political correctness, religious dogma, and general trolling. Censorship or suppression of speech is not always the stated goal, but it is often a desired result.

Given the ongoing changes to the media landscape, this brand of censorship seems to be getting more prominent than anything government effort. In fact, the reason I chose to bring this issue up is because of a few notable incidents that highlight the growing disconnect between free speech and movements to combat hate speech.

The first incident happened earlier this year and came from the gaming world, a domain that is no stranger to censorship and targeted outrage. The outrage in this case, though, had nothing to do with how beautiful women are depicted and everything to do with the policy of the popular Steam platform by Valve.

The particulars of the issue are simple. Valve was getting criticism for allowing too many violent, adult-oriented games on their platform, including those with overtly erotic themes. For a while, it looked like they would follow the same policy as Nintendo and Apple, who don’t allow anything that can’t be shown in a Disney movie.

Surprisingly, and refreshingly for some, Valve opted for a more libertarian policy. The standards are simple. As long as the content isn’t illegal or outright trolling, then it’s permitted. In the context of freedom of speech and creative freedom, this should count as a victory. However, that’s not how some saw it.

Almost immediately, Valve was heavily criticized for this freedom-centric policy and for all the wrong reasons. Some went so far as to call it irresponsible and cowardly, daring to permit games on their platform that might be overly graphic, crude, or sexy. Being a private company and not a government, that’s certainly their right.

Even so, it generated outrage. People didn’t see it as an act to promote free expression. They see it as a means of spreading hateful, offensive, sexist content and profiting from it. At at time when the video game industry sparks outrage every time it depicts a female character, Valve really took a chance by taking this approach and it’s sure to generate plenty more controversy, albeit for the wrong reasons.

Those same reasons showed up in another incident involving Reddit, a site on which I’m very active. Specifically, it involved a subreddit called KotakuInAction, which emerged in wake of the infamous GamerGate controversy in 2014. As a result, it has a reputation for being pretty brutal in its criticisms of regressive, far-left attitudes.

It’s oftent cited as one of the most “toxic” places on Reddit. There have been more than a few efforts to ban it. At one point, for reasons that I’d rather not get into, it was actually removed by its original creator. However, it was saved and put back up within less than a day, much to the relief of the nearly 100,000 subscribers.

Few will call that a victory for free speech. Those who criticize Valve and Reddit for permitting it don’t see their actions as suppressing speech. They see it as combating harassment and hate. Therein lies the problem with that effort, though. Harassment and hate are serious issues, but attacking only the speech is like attacking a single symptom of a much larger disease.

Even if Reddit had permanently banned KotakuInAction and Valve had opted to censor offensive games, it wouldn’t have made the ideas behind them disappear. Like putting a censor bar in front of female breasts, it doesn’t change the fact that they’re there and that they have an impact.

You could turn off the internet, burn every book, and shut down every newspaper tomorrow. That still wouldn’t stop people from thinking and feeling the things that lead them to want to say something offensive or create an offensive game. Speech is just a byproduct of ideas. Attacking the speech is not the same as confronting the source.

In fact, doing so can be counterproductive. There’s a real phenomenon called the Streisand Effect wherein efforts to hide, remove, or cenors something ends drawing more attention to it. The fact that Area 51 is a super-secret government facility that everyone knows about shows how powerful that effect can be.

In the context of combating hate, efforts to censor those behind it can end up elevating their message. When someone is censored, there’s an application of force implied. Whether it’s from a government or a moderator on a message board, censorship requires some level of force. Applying it to anyone is going to put them in a position to feel oppressed and that oppression tends to fuel hatred.

Harassment is different because when it comes to free speech, the line between discourse and threats is a bit less ambiguous. The Supreme Court has established a criteria for what constitutes “fighting words,” but it’s when things happen on a computer screen where it gets tricky.

Like hate, though, there’s a right and wrong way to deal with harassment. The right way to deal with a direct threat is to contact local law enforcement. The wrong way is to make it into a spectacle that requires that both the harasser and the platform they used to be condemned.

It’s an inescapable fact of life in any functioning society. The same platforms we use to interact will be used by others for disgusting, hateful, and offensive activities. We may feel disgust and revulsion for these things, but trying to silence both the people and the platform doesn’t make the sentiment behind it go away.

That’s the ultimate danger of soft censorship. It’s not like a censorship-loving government that can be overthrown or reformed. It’s a mentality that seeks to remove content from certain mediums in hopes that it will subsequently discourage the mentality behind it. Unfortunately, human beings aren’t wired that way.

That’s the ultimate danger of soft censorship. It’s not like a censorship-loving government that can be overthrown or reformed. It’s a mentality that seeks to remove content from certain mediums in hopes that it will subsequently discourage the mentality behind it. Considering the impact of the the Streisand Effect, it’s utterly backwards.

I’m all for confronting hate and combating harassment, but not through censorship, hard or soft. It’s hard enough trying to change someone’s mind in an era where they can customize their news feeds. At the end of the day, we can only truly affect someone’s heart and mind by focusing on the person and not what’s on their computer screens.

My Top Six Non-Canon Comic Cook Romances Of All Time

This has been a rough summer for fans of superhero comics, romance, and weddings. For a fan like me, this summer couldn’t have been rougher without adding a broken air conditioner to the mix. Between the depressing outcome in X-men Gold #30 and the disappointment in Batman #50, this summer has been a one-two punch to the heart.

While it’s pretty disheartening, I’m not totally discouraged. Being the admitted romantic I am, I believe love will eventually win out. I know that sounds corny and ripped right out of a Disney movie, but wouldn’t put so much energy into so many sexy love stories if that belief weren’t sincere.

Even so, I feel as though the current mood surrounding romance and superhero comics has a lot of room for improvement. Mr. and Mrs. X #1 was a good start, but only to a point. There’s only so much that I can do as a fan, aside from buying comics that depict quality romances with great sex appeal. Beyond that, my influence is limited.

As such, I’m going to take a moment from complaining about the current state of love in superhero comics and try a little exercise in romantic imagination. By that, I mean I’m going to contemplate the romantic potential of superheroes that will probably never cross paths, due to rights issues and belonging to different publishers.

It’s a sad fact of life and copyright laws that Marvel characters cannot interact with DC characters. However, that doesn’t mean certain characters don’t have romantic potential. In fact, I believe some have more potential than they do with anyone in their current continuity.

What follows is my personal list of the top six non-canon superhero couples. Not every couple on this list is a Marvel and DC character paired together, but given how many iconic characters those two companies control, it’s somewhat unavoidable. Also, please keep in mind that this is just my list. It is by no means definitive. This is just something meant to inject a little romance into a summer that badly needs it.

Number 6: Black Panther and Vixen

When it comes to healthy romance, it helps when two people share the same quirks. Whether that’s wine tasting or underwater basket weaving, having similar distinctions go a long way towards helping a couple thrive. It’s for that reason that I believe Black Panther and Vixen have the quirks/kinks to make a romance that’s both functional and sexy.

Black Panther’s star has risen quickly thanks to a billion-dollar movie, but his romantic history has been somewhat stagnant. His brief, but bland marriage to Storm of the X-men came off as a gimmick rather than a relationship. While he has chemistry with Nakia, it’s only the very general kind.

That’s where Mari “Vixen” MaCabe sets herself apart. Her powers, abilities, and personality is largely driven by her connection to animal spirits. It’s very similar to the connection that Black Panther has with Wakanda’s native deity, Bast. Being connected to animal spirits and having a fondness for jungle-themed costumes gives these two a unique connection that they haven’t had with their in-universe love interests.

I believe these two would complement each other in unique ways. Vixen is cunning and charismatic. Black Panther is strong and diplomatic. Alone, they’re both pretty strong. Together, they’re even stronger and much sexier.

Number 5: Dr. Strange and Zatanna

This is another instance of two people having shared interests, but with Dr. Strange and Zatanna, it goes deeper than that. These two are some of the most recognizable mystical characters in their respective worlds. Dr. Strange is the Sorcerer Supreme in Marvel and Zatanna is one of the most skilled magicians in the DC Universe. Together, their magic can be pretty potent, literally and figuratively.

However, it’s not just because of their mystical skills that I believe they would be good together. In their respective universes, both characters struggle to maintain even a semi-functional relationship. Zatanna often finds herself on the outside looking in with love interests like Batman and John Constantine. Dr. Strange has never had much of a love life outside Clea, who is almost always relegated to a supporting role.

Zatanna is not the kind of woman who is content with a supporting role. She’s someone who fights alongside Batman and the Justice League. She can handle the crazy mystical threats that Dr. Strange deals with on a regular basis.

For Dr. Strange, he finally has someone who can deal with his attitude and arrogance, which is a tough barrier for any potential love interest. Again, Zatanna dealt with Batman. Any woman who can deal with Batman has an edge. The fact she isn’t afraid to show her legs off and be a bit more playful with her magic also helps.

More than anything else, Zatanna is someone who could make a man like Dr. Strange smile while he works. That, in and of itself, is a kind of magic that helps any relationship.

Number 4: Batman and Sara Pezzini (Witchblade)

This one kind of breaks the mold because it doesn’t pair a Marvel character with a DC character. Sara Pezzini, also known as the bearer of the Witchblade, is not a Marvel character. She’s a product of Top Cow Productions. She comes from a very different world compared to Batman, but that world makes her uniquely equipped to handle being Batman’s lover.

Batman requires that a romance be complicated and prone to tragedy. Few women can handle that. While Catwoman came very close to making it official, it’s a testament to just how tortured Batman is in his love life, among other things.

For Sara Pezzini, that’s exactly the kind of man who brings out the best in her. Unlike Catwoman, Sara was never a thief. She’s a cop and a very dedicated cop. Throughout her long-running series, she defines herself as the kind of hard-nosed, tough-as-nails person who doesn’t hesitate to run into the crossfire of a gang war or a demon army.

Beyond just being a cop, Sara deals with far larger problems that come with being the bearer of the Witchblade, an ancient weapon that tends to attract insane threats, even by NYPD standards. Batman already deals with homicidal clowns and thugs who are half-crocodile. They can handle the craziness in each other’s lives.

More importantly, though, Sara can do something that so few women have ever done for Batman. She can complement him as both Bruce Wayne and Batman. As a cop, she can actually help Batman’s efforts to fight crime in Gotham. He can, in turn, help her deal with the supernatural horror shows that tend to follow her, as only Batman can.

On nearly every level, Batman and Sara Pezzini make each other better. They’re the kind of couple that can work together and be together. That kind of romantic combination is potent. Plus, Sara Pezzini’s hardened attitude might actually help Batman crack a smile every once in a while.

Number 3: Superman and Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers)

This is probably the most controversial pairing on this list because Superman has one of the most iconic romances of all time with Lois Lane. Carol “Captain Marvel” Danvers, on the other hand, has no relationships that even come close, even if you take into account her affair with alcohol.

The reason I believe these two would forge a powerful romance is because Carol Danvers embodies the best traits of both Lois Lane and Wonder Woman. She’s a skilled fighter like Wonder Woman, having trained in the military and fought in interstellar wars. She’s also uncompromising in her pursuit of truth, much like Lois Lane.

Beyond just having the best traits of two iconic women, Carol brings something else to the table. Unlike Superman, she wasn’t born with her powers. She got them in an accident that merged her DNA with that of an alien. At the heart of her story, she’s a human who becomes an alien. Superman, by contrast, is an alien who becomes human.

That unique dynamic, the struggle between being alien and human, is something that Superman has never been able to share with either Lois or Wonder Woman. Someone like Carol could both help him through that journey and fight by his side. She’s tough enough to go up against anything, be it a mad Titan or an evil super-genius billionaire.

Superman is, at heart, an ideal. He’s an icon because he sets an impossible standard for others to aspire. Carol Danvers defines herself by doing the impossible and fighting for it every step of the way. That shared struggle can create the kind of love that empowers two already powerful characters.

Number 2: Captain America and Wonder Woman

This one is probably the most logical pairing on this list. In fact, Captain America and Wonder Woman are probably the one instance where their potential is greater than that of any in-canon romance and it’s not just because their movies were so similar.

Captain America and Wonder Woman are ideal love interests because they both represent the best of their respective worlds. Captain America is the embodiment of the American spirit of freedom and justice, reality-warping retcons aside. Wonder Woman is the personification of womanhood, compassion, and a warrior’s spirit. They both set high standards and pride themselves on achieving them at every turn.

It’s a standard that Steve Trevor never achieves, despite being Wonder Woman’s primary love interest. With all due respect to him and Chris Pine, he’s not on Captain America’s level. In fact, Captain America is the kind of guy Steve Trevor aspires to be, but never achieves. That elevates him in terms of how he relates with Wonder Woman.

Beyond just showing Wonder Woman the best a man can be, Captain America can hold his own better in a drawn out battle. He may not have Wonder Woman’s level of powers, but he’s also a man who regularly fights alongside the likes of Thor and Hulk. He’s not just capable of working with demigods. He actually leads them. It’s easy to see why Wonder Woman would fall in love with a man like that.

On Wonder Woman’s side, she can do more than just punch the Red Skull harder than most women. She’s the kind of woman whose compassion and love of justice is second to none. Even though she’s not American, she embodies many of the American principles that Captain America champions. She may very well be the only woman he can love as much as his country.

Number 1: Deadpool and Harley Quinn

This one was a no-brainer. In terms of sheer sex appeal and romantic compatibility, Deadpool and Harley Quinn are in another league on top of being from different comic book worlds.

I don’t think I need to say much about Deadpool’s eccentric tastes in romance. Between his overtly raunchy movie and the fact he married a succubus in the comics, the man isn’t just attracted to crazy. It’s practically an omega-level fetish for him. In terms of crazy, sexy, and all the weird fetishes that go with it, Harley Quinn checks every box.

Beyond her fondness for clown makeup and obscenely short pants, Harley has always been defined by her love with madness. Love is what drove her into a world of villainy when she crosses paths with the Joker. While that relationship has many quirks, plenty of which are quite unhealthy, it shows that Harley loves men who aren’t bound by sanity.

Deadpool wouldn’t just fill her crazy quota and then some. He would offer her the healthy kind of crazy. He’s the kind of guy who reserves gratuitous violence to those who deserve it and that has been a major struggle for Harley for much of her history. He wouldn’t just be able to carry her through that struggle. He’d make her laugh just as much as the Joker and with only half the property damage.

Unlike the Joker or a succubus, Harley and Deadpool are also the kind of relationship that would have a level of sex appeal that is literally crazy. Beyond Harley’s love of skin-tight clothes and Deadpool’s “super penis,” these two would know how to have fun and blow things up, in and out of the bedroom. With these two, you never have to worry about things getting boring.

There you have it. That’s my list for the best non-canon comic book couples. I imagine this list will cause some disagreements. That’s okay and I welcome further debate on the issue. If you think there are other couples I should add to the list, please let me know. This is a rich and sexy topic that’s ripe for discussion.

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Filed under Comic Books, Jack Fisher, Superheroes, Jack Fisher's Insights, Marriage and Relationships, romance, Wonder Woman

Tagged as Batman, Black Panther, Captain America, Captain Marvel, Carol Danvers, comic book romance, comic book wedding, comic books, comic romance, DC, DC Comics, Deadpool, Harley Quinn, Jack Fisher, Jack Fisher Blog, love, love story, Marvel, Marvel Comics, Marvel vs DC, non-canon, romance, superhero romance, superhero wedding, Superman, Witchblade, Wonder Woman

August 1, 2018 · 5:10 am

Lessons In Love According To Rick Sanchez

What is love? Can we ask that question without referencing to a one-hit wonder R&B song from 1993? I think it’s a question worth asking and one people have been asking since the dawn of our species. Many men who are way smarter than I’ll ever be have tried to answer this question. Some have offered revealing insights. Others just use it as an excuse to whine about a cheating spouse.

Then, there’s Rick Sanchez. I know that by saying that name, I’ve completely altered the tone of this topic. I could’ve easily spent the next several paragraphs breaking down how the smartest men in history view love and how that understanding reveals itself in our modern concept of romance. For now, I’d rather scrutinize love from the perspective of a hard-drinking, brutally honest, nihilistic cartoon character from Adult Swim.

Yep, I’m referring to this guy again.

Make no mistake. I’m not just using this as another excuse to talk about “Rick and Morty,” although I wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking that. I really do think characters like Rick Sanchez have something to teach us on the topic of love. Being an admitted romantic and aspiring erotica/romance writer, I believe those lessons are worth heeding.

On paper, Rick Sanchez is the last person most would go to for insights into love. From the first scene in the first episode, he establishes himself as an overly-cynical, high-functioning alcoholic who may or may not be okay with blowing up the world for the sake of a fresh start. To say he’s not the romantic type would be like saying Jerry needs help with his golf game.

However, Rick does demonstrate throughout the show that he has a capacity for love. He has even had a few moments where he has shown genuine heart. There’s an odd mix of eccentricity and complexity to Rick’s behavior. That’s part of what makes him such an endearing character and why he resonates so much with an emerging generation.

From all that chaos, though, there are insights worth noting. “Rick and Morty” may go heavy with nihilism and moments of existential crisis, but it doesn’t avoid the impact of love. Whether it’s Morty constantly trying to get with Jessica or the constant upheavals in Beth and Jerry’s marriage, love is an underlying factor throughout the show.

This is despite the fact that Rick is pretty overt about his feelings on love. In “Rick Potion #9,” the sixth episode of the first season, he gives his clearest, most quote-worthy opinion on love.

“Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call ‘love’ is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.”

That sounds pretty jaded, to say the least. It’s perfectly fitting with Rick’s misanthropic mentality. However, there is a context here and one that’s fairly subtle, as things tend to be in the world of “Rick and Morty.”

Part of that context is Rick’s family situation. Beyond being a drunk and an eccentric mad scientist, he also has a family. It’s not just his daughter and two grandkids, either. He mentions in his cynical musings that he’d fallen in love and gotten married at one point.

That, alone, has some pretty profound implications. It shows that even the smartest, most capable man in the multiverse cannot avoid the impact of love. Keep in mind, this is a man who travels the multiverse on a whim, defeats Thanos-level super-villains while drunk, and understands how meaningless everything is in the grand scheme of things.

Despite all that, Rick Sanchez still fell in love. He still got married. That, in and of itself, shows the power of love better than any Huey Lewis song. While the show hasn’t revealed much about his former wife, Diane, it does establish an important fact. Rick is capable of love, even when he sees it as just a confluence of brain chemicals.

The show goes onto to reveal that Rick is still influenced by love, despite this reductionist understanding of it. The most comprehensive example comes in Season 2, Episode 3, “Auto Erotic Assimilation.” In many ways, this episode helps convey the most meaningful lesson in love that any animated series has ever attempted.

In the episode, Rick catches up with an old girlfriend, who happens to be an alien hive mind named Unity. If that sounds weird, even by “Rick and Morty” standards, trust me when I say it doesn’t crack the top ten. The fact that Unity is a hive mind is part of why the insights are so unique and impactful.

Throughout the episode, we learn about the particulars of Rick and Unity’s relationship. Unity establishes herself as one of the few beings in the multiverse who can keep up with Rick’s eccentricities. If anything, she has to be a hive mind in order to do so, as evidenced by Rick’s elaborately kinky requests.

In this context, Unity is the ultimate manifestation of supportive lover. She can literally do anything and be anywhere because she has the collective resources of an entire planet at her disposal. She’s more capable than a shape-shifter like Mystique or even an advanced sex robot.

If she wants to make love as a beautiful, buxom blond right out of a Playboy centerfold, she can do that. If she wants to do it as a greasy-haired, middle-aged man with a hairy back and bad breath, she can do that too. She can be two people, ten people, or as many people as she wants to be to love Rick and express that love however they want.

This breaks down, however, when Unity’s efforts to pursue that romance with Rick ends up straining her ability to maintain her hive mind. It gets so strenuous, at one point, that it leads to a nipple-driven race war on the planet. Again, this is pretty standard in terms of weirdness for “Rick and Morty.”

The implications of this breakdown are serious and I’m not referring to the nipple-driven race war. Logistically speaking, Rick and Unity had everything they needed to make their relationship work. They had unlimited resources and unlimited opportunities for intimacy, decadence, and everything in between. In exercising that, though, their relationship devolved into an ongoing spiral of self-destruction.

There was clear, unambiguous love between Rick and Unity. However, the act of being together proved toxic to both of them. Unity couldn’t be with Rick without losing herself, literally and figuratively. Rick couldn’t be with Unity without descending into a spiral of debauchery. Even if the love is there, embracing it leads to both of them getting hurt.

This made for one of the most dramatic and emotional moments of the show, one that reveals just how much Rick loved Unity. After she leaves him, it really hits him on an emotional level, so much so that he nearly kills himself. Remember, this is a man who said love is nothing more than a chemical reaction in the brain.

The pain in that moment, though, belabors a much larger point about love and being with someone. Just loving someone is easy. As Rick says, it’s just a chemical reaction in your brain. It’s something that can happen to anyone, even the smartest man in the multiverse.

However, being with someone and expressing the full spectrum of love involves much more than convergent brain chemistry. For some people, love can be downright destructive. If pursuing love means undermining your sense of being, as happened with Unity, then that’s a sign that the relationship isn’t tenable.

It’s tragic, but unavoidable. You can love someone with all your heart, but not be capable of having a functional relationship. It’s a harsh reality, one that’s perfectly in line with the nihilistic subtext in “Rick and Morty.” At the same time, though, there’s a less dire lesson to be learned.

Even if love is just a brain function that helps propogate the species, it has the power to affect us in the best and worst of ways. It can lead us to the greatest of joys, as Rick and Unity experienced for a brief time. It can also lead us to the worst of sorrows. Few other brain functions can make that claim.

That wide range of experiences are a powerful mechanism for finding meaning in a meaningless universe. Rick Sanchez doesn’t avoid the pain in those experiences and he doesn’t hesitate to pursue the joys, often to a reckless degree. Finding meaning in this universe is hard enough, but love can do plenty to carry us forward. You don’t have to be a Rick-level genius to appreciate that, although that’s probably a good thing.

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Filed under gender issues, Marriage and Relationships, philosophy, Rick and Morty, romance

Tagged as Adult Swim, broken heart, Dan Harmond, depression, falling in love, hate, heartbreak, Justin Roiland, loneliness, lonely, lonely men, lonely women, love, love story, Morty Smith, nihilism, nihilistic, philosophy, phsychology, psychology of love, Rick and Morty, Rick Sanchez, romance, sex, sexuality, social psychology, social science, Summer Smith, Unity

July 31, 2018 · 5:35 am

“Tea Time” A Sexy Short Story

The following is a sexy short story I wrote that was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend involving tea. It wasn’t all that sexy at the time, but it gave me some sexy ideas. Enjoy!

“Drink this and Jeff will fuck you like a stallion!”

That was what Jessica King’s eccentric Aunt Mayne had told her the other day when she gave her an unmarked box of custom tea packs. She didn’t entirely recall what had led to them talking about sex life, but it happened and she was still recovering from the embarrassment.

Then again, she hadn’t exactly been too subtle about the recent shortcomings in her personal life lately. Her friends and family had commented more than once that she looked overly uptight and exceedingly stressed, especially for someone who worked her dream job as a costume designer and married her college sweetheart. Jessica had so few reasons to complain that she had to be extra subtle about her problems, but that proved challenging when it came to sex.

Standing in her kitchen, staring at the unmarked box her Aunt had given her, she wasn’t sure what to make of it. There were no labels or logos on the side. Her Aunt Mayne clearly hadn’t bought it from the internet or anything. She was the eccentric of the family, a free spirited older woman who loved to travel and bring back strange souvenirs. Her bringing back exotic tea seemed perfectly in character.

Tea that would fix her sex life, though? That was pushing it, even by eccentric Aunt Mayne standards.

“You were really eager to give this to me, Aunt Mayne,” Jessica said as she picked up the box. “I wish I knew why, but I’m kind of afraid to wonder.”

Curious, and even a little intrigued, she opened the box and took out a couple of tea bags. She scanned them briefly. Near as she could tell, they were ordinary looking bags. When she smelled them, though, they didn’t smell like ordinary tea.

“That aroma…what the hell is that?” Jessica wondered. “It’s nice, but…different.”

She wasn’t sure what to make of it. She didn’t remember her Aunt Mayne giving her specifics. She’d just told her to drink the tea and that would somehow solve her and Jeff’s intimacy problems. It seemed too good to be true, but given the current state of their sex life, Jessica was willing to take chances.

“Well, if I’m going to take advice from a crazy aunt, I might as well get a little crazy myself,” she said with a shrug.

Choosing not to overthink it, she set the box aside and went to work making some late afternoon tea. She retrieved the pot from the stove, filled it with water, and heated it up. As it warmed up, she took her and Jeff’s favorite mugs from the kitchen cabinet.

Given the cold, stormy weather outside, it was a good time for tea. She and Jeff often enjoyed sharing a cup or two in the later afternoon when it was too late for coffee. It was Saturday as well, which happened to be the only day of the week when they got to spend the whole day together. Jeff often visited his aging grandmother at a nursing home on Sundays and she worked irregular hours during the week. If they were going to improve their sex lives, it was going to happen on a Saturday.

As the water heated up, Jessica wondered how it got to this point. She and Jeff used to be such a passionate, playful couple. Even during college, while holding down a full load of classes, they somehow found the time and energy to have sex at least five times a week. At one point, they were doing it twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. It was their morning wake-up call and midnight snack, as Jeff once described.

“I miss those days,” Jessica said distantly as the kettle started steaming.

It seemed so long ago, but it wasn’t that far back. She still had some of the lingerie she’d worn during the many passionate nights they shared in that cramped, unkempt apartment they’d once lived in. Jeff once joked that their clean and spacious house just wasn’t dirty enough for the kinky sex they used to have. She now suspected that hadn’t been joking.

Neither one of them knew when their current sexual dry spell began. Jessica suspected it began earlier that spring. In the span of a month, her mother got divorced for the second time, Jeff’s grandfather passed away, and one of her step-sisters went to jail. None of that should’ve impacted their sex life, which had been pretty healthy up to that point. Over time, though, it just seemed to fade.

Little by little, their intimate moments became less frequent. Even when they had sex, it was less about passion and more about scratching an itch. They treated sex almost like an extra meal, something they did to fulfill a basic need and nothing more. There was never any desert or snacking, so to speak. Then, a couple of months ago, it stopped entirely and that really worried her.

“Is it just a dry spell? Or a sign of things to come?” Jessica wondered.

Those were tough questions that no married woman wanted to contemplate. Thankfully, the tea kettle started hissing and that drew her attention.

With another sigh, she removed the kettle and poured the water into their mugs. Using two of the bags from the box, she steeped the exotic leaves into the steamy water to disperse the flavors. That strange smell quickly filled the kitchen, but it beat the smell of week-old leftovers that usually filled the air.

“Hey Jeff! I made us some tea,” she called out as she made her way to the dining room with both cubs in hand.

“Great! I’ll be right there,” Jeff replied from his office where he’d been video chatting with some friends.

She briefly debated telling him about the source of the tea, but Jessica doubted he’d care. Jeff was one of those guys who drank his coffee black, bought the cheapest beer, and didn’t go for fancy wine. His tastes were simple. If it was warm, tasty, and soothing, he drank it. He was easy to please, in that respect. That made their recent struggles in the bedroom all the more frustrating.

Jessica waited a moment for the tea to cool down before drinking it. After a couple minutes, Jeff entered the dining room, still wearing the same unwashed football jersey he’d worn to bed the previous night. Usually, she’d berate him for wearing a shirt that long. On such a dreary day where everything felt so overwhelming, she just didn’t have the energy.

“Tea…just what I need,” he said as he sat down across from her. “That’s decaf, right?”

“As far as I know, it’s the mild stuff,” Jessica replied, which was only a half-truth. “It won’t keep either of us from taking a nap this afternoon.”

“Good,” Jeff said, “because I do not have the energy for more jitters. I just found out my uncle Rob is still arguing with my dad on my grandfather’s old house. On top of that, the heater is going to be stuck at half-capacity for a few more days.”

“So it’s going to be cold and depressing for a bit longer,” she said. “Maybe I should’ve broken out the vodka.”

“Better save that for tonight. I swear if my dad calls me again to whine about that lawyer Uncle Rob hired…”

Her husband trailed off, shaking his head in frustration as he took his first sip of the tea. It was probably best he didn’t finish. Jeff had done plenty of complaining about his ongoing family dramas since his grandfather died. He was probably just as sick of talking about it as much as she was hearing it.

At the very least, he didn’t react strongly to the tea. He sipped it like he did any other hot drink. Assured that there was nothing strange about it, Jessica drank some as well. To her relief, it tasted fine, which made her wonder why her Aunt Mayne made such a big deal about it in the first place.

“This is good,” Jeff said, “just what I needed too. I swear these past couple of weeks are conspiring against me.”

“To be fair, nobody conspired to damage those rusted coils in the heater,” Jessica pointed out as she took another sip. “That was just us putting off maintenance work way longer than we should have.”

“The timing still sucks,” he said. “I don’t know how much longer I can play mediator with my family. It’s not fair to you or the guys at work.”

“So electricians aren’t immune to family drama? I’m genuinely shocked,” Jennifer said dryly.

“Yeah, you’d think the fear of electrocution would distract a guy. Guess I’m too brave for my own good.”

“Or just too human,” she pointed out, “which isn’t a bad thing, mind you. Someone has to have humility in a family drama. That sure would’ve helped my sister during her last divorce.”

“True,” Jeff said, “but I just wish someone else would bear the burden. It isn’t fair to me, my folks, and especially you.”

He reached across the table and held her hand. On such a cold, dreary day, the warmth of his touch was just what she needed. It got her to smile for the first time in days. He smiled back and drank more of his tea.

“I know this crap has been affecting us, Jess,” he went on. “I know I keep apologizing and you keep saying it’s all right.”

“That’s because I mean it,” Jessica said, giving his hand an affectionate squeeze. “Hell, I’ve whined just as much about my sister’s latest failed marriage so I’d say we’re even.”

“Even or not, that doesn’t make it right,” Jeff said strongly. “Being so damn overwhelmed on our own shouldn’t make us too overwhelmed for each other.”

“We’ll endure. I married you because I knew we could.”

“And I married you because you kept my attitude in check,” he said, “that and you make good tea.”

“Glad to know I’m doing okay thus far, as your wife,” she laughed.

He smiled again, but he remained restless as he drank the rest of his tea. Jessica did the same, finishing hers fairly quickly. Between the lack of a functioning heater and family drama, a warm beverage went a long way in improving her mood.

As she finished the last few sips, though, she started to feel something unexpected. As she held her husband’s hand, Jessica felt a sudden heat in her core. It started small. She figured it was just the tea entering her stomach. Then, that heat grew and made its way downward, eventually settling between her legs. Before long, it morphed from bodily warmth to full-fledged sexual arousal.

She began shifting in her seat, thinking it was just a fluke. The feeling didn’t go away, though. It had been a while since she’d gotten randomly aroused on a Saturday afternoon, but she still remembered what it felt like. It could’ve just been a byproduct of her and Jeff’s recent dry spell, but Jessica sensed other forces at work.

“The tea,” she said distantly, looking down at her empty up.

“Is really good, by the way,” Jeff said, whose demeanor had shifted as well. “I don’t know what flavor this is, but there’s something about it that just feels strong. Are you sure it doesn’t have caffeine in it?”

“I’m sure…mostly,” Jessica said.

Jeff eagerly gulped down the rest. He had let go of her hand and was now staring intently at his empty cup. He clearly sensed something too. She even saw him shift in his seat somewhat. Those old jeans of his suddenly looked uncomfortable.

As Jessica tried to make sense of the feeling, she felt more heat consume her body. It wasn’t just concentrated between her legs, either. It spread out in all directions. Her skin felt hotter, breaking out in a light sweat and in a house with a half-functioning heater, no less. Her clothes felt itchy as well, which shouldn’t have been possible since she was wearing a T-shirt and sweat pants. It got to a point where the arousal was so intense that it didn’t feel natural.

“Whatever was in it, I’m feeling it,” Jeff said. “I swear this room just got ten degrees hotter.”

“Yeah,” she said distantly, “maybe the heater is working better than we thought.”

“That piece of junk? I doubt it.”

Jeff, his face now flushed, removed his shirt and wiped some light sweat from his brow. That might have helped him, but it only compounded the feeling for Jessica.

She was already inextricably aroused. Seeing her husband shirtless – a man who spent a lot of time in the sun at work and played sports in college – only intensified that feeling.

“Oh boy…damn you, Aunt Mayne,” Jessica said under her breath, now rubbing her thighs together.

“You say something, Jess?” he asked her.

“No!” she said quickly. “I mean…I guess I’m feeling it too.”

“Really?”

She tried to respond, but only ended up smiling awkwardly. There was no denying it anymore. She wasn’t just horny. She hadn’t felt this aroused since their honeymoon. Sitting across from her shirtless husband, having not had satisfying sex in way too long, she felt basic instincts overshadow her ability to rationalize the situation.

“Jessica?” Jeff said after a brief silence. “Are you okay?”

He took her hand in his again. That might have been the best or worst thing he could’ve done. Feeling his touch triggered even more instincts. His palms were already sweaty, excreting a distinct scent of manliness that filled the air between them with more than just heat.

Looking up from her cup and into his eyes, she saw the same effects as well. His face still flushed and his breathing now labored, she could tell he was aroused too. She didn’t need to see an uncomfortable bulge in his pants. Jessica knew her husband well enough to know when he was really in the mood. Whether from the tea or pent up frustration, Jeff had the eyes of a man who needed to fuck.

“Jeff,” she began, “this may sound kind of random, but…”

“You want to fuck right here on the table?” he said intently, desire echoing through every word.

“Well, I wasn’t going to be that specific, but if that’s how you want to do it…”

Jessica didn’t get a chance to finish. She didn’t have the patience and neither did Jeff. In an outburst of lust that overwhelmed every other burden they’d dealt with, they shot up from their seat, leaned across the table, and kissed each other with the passion of a couple of horny prom dates. Before she knew it, Jeff had grabbed her T-shirt, pulled it off over her head, and removed her bra with stunning efficiency.

“Off! Get it off!” she found herself saying.

Their lips parted just long enough for him to get her shirt off. Now topless, he breasts exposed and her nipples erect, Jessica crawled up onto the table, knocking the two tea cups off in the process and onto the carpeted floor. They didn’t shatter or leave much of a mess, but she didn’t care. She’d clean it up later. For the moment and foreseeable future she just wanted to fuck her husband.

Now propped on her knees in the center of the table, Jessica smothered her husband with a fury of kisses while he fondled her exposed breasts. She kissed with more tongue than she had on their third date, throwing in a potent blend of affection and lust. She also pawed his upper body, feeling those manly sinews that once drove her so wild with desire. After a prolonged absence, those desires were back with a vengeance.

“Jeff…I’m so horny,” Jessica said in her depending daze.

“Me too,” he said as he gave her breasts a firms squeeze. “I don’t know why, but I want to fuck you so bad right now, Jess!”

Jessica made the tea in hopes of warming herself up and getting Jeff away from the drama surrounding his dad. She’d succeeded in that, not giving too much thought to her Aunt Mayne’s claim about the tea. Now, she found herself wondering whether she’d been too skeptical of her eccentric aunt.

Colorful family members were the last thing on her mind, at the moment. Having made his intent clear, Jeff stepped up the pace of their foreplay. After fondling her breasts and reacquainting his tongue with hers, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer. In the process, she shifted her body so that she sat upright on the edge of the table with her legs hanging over the side. With little hesitation and growing eagerness on her part, he lifted up her lips slightly and pulled off her sweat pants.

When he failed to remove her panties, as well, he just grabbed ripped them off, tearing through the fabric in the process. It caught her by surprise, somewhat. Jeff could be pretty passionate during sex, but he hadn’t been that aggressive in quite some time. Torn panties aside, Jessica remembered how much she loved it.

“I’ll replace those,” he told her.

“I don’t care,” Jessica told him. “Now what are you waiting for? Get those pants off!”

Showing some aggressiveness of her own, she shot her husband a look of urgency and desire. Now fully naked, her legs spread and her arousal obvious for him to see, Jessica left no room for ambiguity. She wanted to fuck and she wanted it now.

Jeff responded like soldier on a mission, almost tearing his own pants off in the process. That proved somewhat difficult because of a sizable bulge that even a pair of loose jeans couldn’t hide. He still managed to get it off, freeing a raging hard-on that she hadn’t seen since their anniversary last year. Jessica didn’t think it was possible for a man to get that hard that quickly, but she was beyond caring about the specifics.

“Come here, beautiful,” he told her, sounding like the most suave man in the world.

“Take me, my husband,” Jessica replied, trying to sound like the most seductive.

Wasting no time and not hesitating for a microsecond, he grabbed her by the thighs, pushed them apart, and pulled her closer into his grasp. She eagerly leaned back on her arms, hooking her legs around his waist as he guided his rigid member towards her wet entrance. He then thrust his hips forward, driving his dick into her pussy. The smooth melding of their flesh flooded Jessica with an onslaught of welcome and overdue sensations.

“Ohhh yes!” she moaned. “That’s what I want!”

“And that’s what you’ll get,” Jeff said intently.

Showing a grit that sent her feminine instincts into overdrive, Jeff began fucking her with a fervor that rocked the table, if not the entire room. He was strong and fervent with each movement, pumping his throbbing cock within the tight folds of her depths. The merging of their flesh was so smooth, as though their bodies had ached for one another on a primal level.

Following her husband into the intense sexual rhythm, Jessica leaned back further on the table and moaned blissfully at the steady stream of pleasure. She dug her feet into his lower back, supplementing each one of his thrusts with some force of her own. Her breasts bounced along with the rest of the table, the shared movements of their sex evoking that special kind of intimacy and ecstasy.

It was so fast and intense that it sent Jessica to the brink of orgasm in record time. It felt like Jeff had found a short-cut of sorts, one that stimulated just the right nerves in just the right places. Having not had a good, solid release in so long, Jessica embraced that feeling to the utmost.

“Ooh I’m coming, Jeff! I…I’m coming!” she cried out.

Jeff barely faltered. If anything, he stepped up the pace of their sex, fucking her harder and rocking her body with more vigor. He even leaned in, burying his face between her breasts and smothering her cleavage with his lips. It made Jessica squeal with delight, having not forgotten how much he loved playing with her breasts during sex. It had been a while since he’d been that playful and it gave the orgasm that followed even greater meaning.

“Ohhh Jeff!”

It hit her like a tidal wave. She closed her eyes, threw her head back, and curled her toes as a sharp surge of pleasure erupted from her core. Under the weight of such sensations, Jessica felt her inner muscles contracting around her husband’s cock, he echoes of ecstasy radiating from head to toe.

She would’ve fallen flat on the table had Jeff not caught her, holding her up and giving her something to cling to as she climaxed. Even in his lustful daze, his love for her and his fondness of watching her come showed. It made the release that much more satisfying.

“Wow! You were really that horny,” he said into her ear as she soaked in her climax.

“Speak…for yourself,” Jessica quipped in her orgasmic daze.

“Why speak when I can show you?”

There was a mischievous undertone to his voice, the kind he rarely used outside their kinkiest moments. Even after an overdue orgasm, Jessica still had plenty of desire for sex and Jeff was all too willing to oblige.

Before she fully recovered from their climax, he adjusted their bodies. First, he briefly withdrew from her still-throbbing vagina. Then, he pulled her forward a bit and turned her over so that she was now bent over the table. Now clinging to the sides for support, she could already feel Jeff positioning himself behind her for more sex.

“Do it, Jeff. Show me!” she told him, still drunk on the ecstasy.

He replied with a deep, masculine grunt that kept her instincts in overdrive. Grabbing hold of her hips once more, he guided his dick back towards her wet entrance and entered her once more. He then re-established a sexual rhythm, going even harder and faster than before. He even kicked the chair out of the way so that he had more room to work.

With her breasts now pressed up against the polished wood, holding onto both sides for whatever leverage she could manage, Jessica gladly accommodated her husband’s burning desires. He’d been so efficient at bringing her to orgasm. It was only fair that she did the same and after everything he’d gone through with his family, he needed it.

As he worked his cock inside her, his pelvis rhythmically smacking against her butt, Jessica bucked her hips, parted her legs a bit more, and tensed her inner muscles in accord with every thrust. His flesh sought hers and her flesh embraced his, a perfect harmony of desire and entwinement. It was the kind of intimate act they’d cherished for as long as they’d been together. Enjoying it once more was both refreshing and profound.

Her efforts didn’t go rewarded. Jessica knew the kinds of stuff that got her husband off and few things worked better than him just getting behind her and hammering away, allowing him to exercise the extent of his desires. The end result was almost as efficient for him as it was for her.

“Jessica! I…I’m close! I’m really…really close!” Jeff grunted as his movements grew more desperate.

“I’m ready, my love,” Jessica moaned. “You need this too. We both do.”

As her husband delivered the last round of thrusts, Jessica rose up a bit from her position. She then reached behind, grabbed his wrists, and guided his hands to her breasts. He’d always enjoyed squeezing them when he climaxed. Her remembering that was her way of showing that she hadn’t forgotten how much they enjoyed each other’s intimate company. Hopefully, it would also ensure they wouldn’t forget in the future.

With her breasts, among other things, in his hands, Jeff let out a round of deep, manly moans as he crossed that special threshold. His movements steadied, his body tensed, and manhood throbbed inside her as he achieved his long-awaited release. Jessica let out a moan as well upon feeling his manly fluid mix with her feminine juices. It symbolized a perfect blending of passions, culminating in a unique kind of ecstasy.

“God, I love you, Jessica,” he said breathlessly.

“I love you too, Jeff,” Jessica said affectionately.

After he soaked in the orgasmic sensations, he withdrew from her, giving her room to turn around and take him in her arms. Just as he’d done with her, she caught him before the weight of the pleasure could overwhelm his sense of balance. He eagerly accepted her embrace, as well as the loving kiss that came with it.

“That…was something else, Jess,” Jeff said, having finally caught his breath.

“Yeah…it was,” Jessica replied with a beaming smile.

“That was also some really good tea,” he added, the half-smirk revealing that he’d made the connection.

“I agree…really good.”

They both laughed. Apparently, her eccentric Aunt Mayne had been right. Whatever was in that tea did wonders for her sex life. She would have to find out where she got it and how to get more the first chance she got.

For the moment, though, she and Jeff lingered together for a moment, now naked and sweaty in the middle of their dining room. In a home with a clunky heater, it was a damn good feeling. They still had to lean back on the table for support. Jessica also felt some lingering desire within her, as well as from her husband.

“So…want to take this to the living room and work on a few rug burns?” Jeff suggested.

“Hell yes!” Jessica said without hesitation. “First, I should probably make us some more tea.”

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Tagged as adult fiction, adult stories, erotic, erotic fiction, erotic literature, erotic stories, erotic story, erotica, erotica fiction, erotica literature, erotica romance, erotica stories, Jack Fisher, Jack Fisher Blog, Jack Fisher Books, sex, sexy, sexy fiction, sexy literature, sexy mechanic, sexy short stories, Sexy Short Story, short fiction, short stories, short story

July 30, 2018 · 5:47 am

The (Distant) Future Of Marvel, Disney, And Entertainment

I like to talk about the future. I don’t claim to have any special insight, but I suspect I give it more thought than most. I also believe I tend to think farther into the future than most. Whether it’s contemplating the future of how we’ll organize our society or how our sex lives will evolve, I try to contemplate possibilities beyond the next iPhone upgrade.

One aspect of the distant future that concerns me has to do with boredom, namely how it may become a much larger problem and how we’ll go about alleviating it. I’ve done plenty to argue that boredom can be a dangerous force, from creating immortal super-villains to subverting the very concept of Hell. If our future is to be stable, prosperous, and fun, we’ll need some form of entertainment.

With that critical goal in mind, I’d like to speculate on a potential brand of future entertainment that ties directly with the industry that we know today. Specifically, I’d like to imagine how big entertainment companies like Disney will continue to function in world where advanced artificial intelligence, brain implants, and near-universal access to the internet is a thing.

I feel the time is right to think about such things because just last week, Disney radically altered the entertainment industry by purchasing Fox. Beyond just getting the X-men and Fantastic Four rights back for Marvel, Disney bought a massive library of intellectual property that is potentially worth billions. Being a successful business with shareholders, and all, they’re going to want to make billions more.

How exactly are they going to go about that, though? That’s a question worth asking because the answer for the near future is probably not going to work for the distant future. Sure, Disney will probably rake in plenty of profits at the box office, just as they’ve done with Pixar, Marvel, and Star Wars. However, the movie and toy industry can only go so far.

While box office revenue is up, actual ticket sales are way down. More people are opting to stream their content directly, bypassing pay TV and theaters entirely. The same is true for print media, including comic books. Even toy sales are in decline. This is not good for a company like Disney, which has built its empire on media and merchandise.

That’s not to say things are dire. Disney has been around for almost 100 years. In that time, it has adapted through plenty of upheavals. If it’s going to survive another 100 years, though, it’ll have to adapt to a radically different landscape. Buying Fox is likely part of that process. Disney has already made clear that it plans to start a streaming service to compete with Netflix and Amazon.

That’s a good start, but a streaming service is probably not going to be enough, especially in a future where people live longer, work less, and can share more than just text messages with one another. If Disney wants to continue being at the forefront of entertainment, it’ll have to innovate in ways that leverage future technology in new ways.

After the purchase of Fox, though, Disney may actually be in the best possible position compared to every other entertainment company that exists today. That’s because, unlike its competitors, it has a wealth of intellectual property that it owns outright. From Micky Mouse to Marvel heroes, the library of Disney-owned characters is truly staggering.

In the past, this gave Disney the ability to make or license movies, toys, and games for billions. In the future, those mediums won’t be nearly as profitable, but not because those things will fall out of style. I believe that for Disney to make more billions, it’ll utilize its intellectual property in a very different way, one that will likely require an entirely new approach to entertainment.

Think, for a moment, about the current experience you get from a movie theater, a TV show, or even a life show. You sit in a seat and you just watch. You take in the sights and sounds. If done right, it creates a spectacle that you enjoy. However, the fact that the spectacle only utilizes major senses is somewhat limiting.

What if, instead, you weren’t just an audience member sitting in a seat? What if it actually felt like you were there? What if you felt like you were standing next to Captain America as he battled the Red Skull? What if you felt like you were there when Micky Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy all broke out into a joyous musical number?

I’m not just talking about better animation or virtual reality. I’m talking about a form of entertainment that makes your brain actually feel as though you’re experiencing something. It’s not quite like the holodeck on “Star Trek.” It’s more like plugging into “The Matrix,” but for reasons other than learning Kung Fu or having existential breakdowns.

Unlike “The Matrix,” though, you wouldn’t be the catalyst for the story. That’s something Disney would take care of, providing only the world and the vast array of sensations that come with it. Instead of paying for a movie ticket, you pay for an experience that lets you interact or feel part of a story involving Iron Man, Micky, or Buzz Lightyear.

That will likely be the most valuable resource of future entertainment, powerful experiences that give customers the rush and fulfillment of being there. Instead of going to a theater or theme park, they would just plug something into their brains, possibly through an implant like the ones Elon Musk is developing with Neuralink. From there, the experience will be directly streamed right into their brain.

It may sound invasive, but we already share so much of ourselves online, from what we had for lunch to the most intimate aspects of our personal lives. We’re already in the early stages of merging our technology. We already see our smartphones as integral parts of our lives. Why wouldn’t we do the same for brain implants?

Unlike a smartphone, a machine/brain interface can’t be dropped into the toilet or left behind by accident. That same interface won’t just augment the ability of our brains to access the entire wealth of human knowledge. They’ll allow us to directly stimulate the areas that forge our entire perception of the world around us.

This has huge implications, some more profound than others. For companies like Disney, though, that link will be critical with respect to maintaining its place as a dominant entertainment company. People already pay for powerful experience, be they movies, video games, or a full-body massage at a spa. Disney could simply cut out the middle-men while leveraging its vast library of intellectual property.

Sure, in the future, you could probably pay for fancy experiences like those offered in “Total Recall.” However, if you want an experience that allows you to be a Jedi, an Avenger, or a singing animal, you’ll have to go through Disney and they’ll be happy to sell you that experience for a price.

Every week, you’ll be able to select from a range of intense experiences the same way you navigate your Netflix queue. For some, you don’t need to leave your bed. You just plug a device into your brain and let it go from there. For others, maybe you travel to special venues that function like the holodecks in “Star Trek.” There, you could share the experience with others, making it a communal experience.

Disney would still likely need content-creators to craft those experiences. That means people like George Lucas and Kevin Feige will still have a job in this future. The particulars of those jobs would be very different, but the goal would be the same. They would create experiences and stories that people are willing to pay for.

As unpredictable as the future is, it’s still safe to assume that people are going to want entertainment. Wherever there’s a want, there will be a business willing to provide it. There will be competition. There will be billions, if not trillions, to be made in profits. Not every company around today will survive that competition. Disney, however, is already in the best possible position to thrive.

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Filed under Artificial Intelligence, futurism, media issues, movies, Sexy Future, War on Boredom

Tagged as Artificial Intelligence, augmented reality, biotechnology, boredom, Disney, Disney entertainment, Disney World, Disney/Fox, emerging technology, entertainment, Fox, future entertainment, future of media, future society, futurism, House of Mouse, intellectual property, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Comics, mass media, media, Mickey Mouse, Neuralink, neuroscience, Singularity, superhero movies, Superheroes, technological singularity, technology, the future, the future of entertainment, virtual reality, War on Boredom

July 29, 2018 · 12:12 am

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Pool Party Edition

Who doesn’t enjoy a good pool party in the middle of summer? Seriously, you’d have to be an inherently miserable person or a vampire to not find some joy in it. As a kid, they were often the best part of my summer. Even as an adult, they still rank right up there, albeit behind bikinis and topless sunbathers.

A pool party is like anti-school. It’s a manifestation of the best parts of a particular time of year. School make take up a good chunk of that year, but that makes events like pool parties even more special. They’re a celebration of a wonderful time of year when you can sleep in on weekdays, not have to worry about homework, and take mid-day naps by the pool.

I grew up in a neighborhood where there was at least one pool party a month in the summer. I currently live in a community where we had one just yesterday. You’re never too old to enjoy it. That’s why I dedicate this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts to pool parties and all the summer joy they bring.

“Situation and circumstance determine whether being naked makes for a terrible nightmare or a sexy fantasy.”

“Fake tits won’t make up for a fake personality, but they will offer a welcome distraction.”

“Strippers are the first (and still best) manifestation of interactive porn.”

“Softcore porn is like pizza without toppings in that it’s still good, but not as much as it could be.”

“Seeing is believing, but when it comes to fake tits, feeling is certainty.”

“Telling your lover about your fantasies is akin to giving them a how-to guide to your orgasm.”

“Your doctor and your lover both know your body intimately, but your lover will always offer an affordable co-pay.”

For the record, a good chunk of these thoughts came to me while I was lounging by the pool. I like to think that these are the musings inspired by the best parts of summer. Whether they take place by the pool or in an air conditioned room, they reflect a great time of year. Between sexy swimsuits and having another excuse to sleep naked, what’s not to love?

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Pool Party Edition

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