Remembering September 11, 2001

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Today is a solemn, bittersweet day for America. On this day 18 years ago, the September 11th terror attacks shook our world and our spirits. I’m not going to dig into the politics surrounding that day, nor will I entertain the many absurd conspiracy theories that have emerged in wake of it. That wouldn’t be fair to the victims of the attacks and the importance of this day in the collective consciousness off all Americans.

Like so many other major events, everyone remembers where they were on September 11th, 2001. I was in school that day. I was on my way to my algebra class when I heard a couple of teachers talking about a terror attack on New York. At the time, I didn’t know what to make of it. I didn’t even know if it were serious.

I was just a kid. Terror attacks weren’t something that happened in real life. They only happened in movies. Even when they did occur, they were never the kind that demolished major landmarks. That all changed when I saw watched it all unfold on TV. To say it left me shaken would be the understatement of understatements.

There aren’t many days in history that most people can say without question that everything changed that day. September 11, 2001 is definitely one of those days. It marked the end of one era and the start of another. It defined the generations that came before and after it. There are kids alive today who have only ever lived in a post-9/11 world. Whether they know it or not, that fateful day will affect them.

The changes we’ve experienced since that day go beyond terrorism, politics, and war. It’s not unreasonable to say that this fateful day changed the course of history. How we see the world and how we go about surviving it changed a great deal. We’re still feeling the effects of that change today, but on a day like this, it’s also worth remembering how far we’ve come.

As devastating as the September 11th, 2001 attacks were, they brought out the best in a lot of people. You don’t have to look far to find stories of real, unfettered heroism that occurred on that day. Traumatic events have a way of bringing out the worst in some people, but in my experience, the better angels of our nature tend to shine brighter on those moments.

Whether you were alive on that day or not, I encourage you to take a moment to remember the events of September 11th, 2001 and honor those who died. If you can, please consider donating to charities for the victims. There are many harsh lessons we can learn from such a terrible event, but the biggest lesson of all is this.

We survived.

We endured.

We can and will grow stronger in the face of tragedy.

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Can We Just Take A Moment To Appreciate Last Night’s Saints/Texans Game?

It’s a good day to be Will Lutz of the New Orleans Saints. That’s all I’ll say.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Sexy Sweet Talk

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In case the sheer volume of sexy short stories, erotica/romance novels, and articles on sex robots haven’t been obvious enough, I have a deep appreciation for sexy rhetoric. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate pictures of bikini models, lingerie, and speedos as much as the next guy, but I’ve always been extra fond of sexy talk.

I’m not just referring to basic dirty talk, either. I love that too, but I’m also quite fond of general sweet talk. I admit it can be cheesy, especially for people who aren’t good with words or struggle conversing with the opposite sex. It can be especially hilarious for teenagers. I once knew a kid in high school who tried to describe his love for his girlfriend with deli meat. I wish I was kidding.

When done right, though, sweet talk can create a uniquely intimate moment. It can really solidify a connection between two people who just met. It can also reaffirm old passions between people who have been married for several decades. It’s often personal. Two people who know each other and love each other will know just what to say and how to say it in order to get their hearts racing. It’s a beautiful thing.

It can take the form of a soft whisper. It can be a cheesy song that you hum in the shower. It’s essentially a loving gesture that’s tailor-made for specific lovers. You don’t always know what form it’ll take. You just know that when it’s done right, it’s incredibly powerful. I’m going to try and capture some of that power with this Daily Sexy Musing. I doubt I’ll capture it all. Enjoy!

A soft whisper.

A catchy song.

A single sentence.

A deep tone.

Like a key to your heart, I unlock that special well of love that exists between us. On their own, every word is just a word. You’ve heard them from others as often as me. We know their meaning. They simply pass us by like a subtle breeze. Through my voice and through my passions, however, they take on a new dimension.

They tap into something deeper.

They evoke unique feelings.

They reveal a special bond.

They open a hidden channel.

When you hear it, I feel you melt in my arms. You become as light and vulnerable as a cloud, barely held together by intimate whims. I hold you and you cling to me. I offer more of those sweet, special words that send you into a frenzy. It’s a wondrous sight to behold.

In this message, I give depth and meaning to our love. It becomes poetry, a work of art that transcends the medium. No longer a feeling that defies description, it becomes something we can comprehend. Just hearing those powerful words in that intimate conjures things that are nothing short of magic. What only seemed possible in fantasy becomes real, simply through words.

Every gesture is so true.

Every word is so raw.

Every sentiment is so sweet and we gladly taste it together.

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The Lying God Paradox: An Inherent Flaw Of All-Powerful Deities

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In general, I believe that arguing with religious people is a waste of time. While I’ve made no secret of my distaste for organized religion, I prefer not to discuss it. As I’ve noted before, I have people in my family who are deeply religious. They are wonderful, loving people and they get genuine fulfillment from their religion.

There was even a time in my youth when I went out of my way to debate religion. At one point, I genuinely believed I could convince people of the absurdities of religious dogma. That was before I learned just how strong these beliefs can be and how far people will go to hold onto them.

I now accept that there’s no argument I can make or fact I can list that would ever convince someone that their religion is wrong. For the most part, people have to change their own minds. The most you can do is get them thinking about their dogma and let them make up their own mind.

For that reason, I still find it helpful to share my thoughts on certain aspects of religion. It’s not always possible to engage in meaningful discussions, but I think it’s worth pursuing. I find that the more you connect with people who don’t necessarily agree with you, the more you humanize them and vice versa.

That being said, I have a feeling that this latest thought is not going to win me many friends from the religious crowd. I know this because I’m about to make a statement about gods, all-powerful deities, and an inherent flaw that comes with incorporating them into any theology. That would encompass the three major Abrahamic faiths, as well as most other monotheistic religions.

This statement is a simple explanation for why there are so many different religions, each of which can have many denominations and sects. It also assumes there is an all-powerful deity with the ability to effect human affairs. While I know that’s a lofty assumption, especially for the non-believing crowd, it still exposes an important flaw in the theology and dogma behind religion. It can be summed up in two simple words.

God lied.

I know that idea may make many believers recoil in disgust, but I urge those people to take a moment to contemplate the implications. We’re not talking about a miracle or some divine act that breaks the laws of physics. This is something that ordinary people do every day without the need for immense power. If simple mortals like us can do it, then why can’t an all-powerful deity?

An all-powerful being can literally do anything. Lying would be one of the easiest, least strenuous ways to effect change, especially among a species like ours that is prone to believing lies. On top of that, when you take a step back and look at how religion has manifested over the centuries, a lying deity makes more sense than any other deity.

It explains why there has never been a single, unified religion.

It explains why there has never been a concept of divinity that every human society shares.

It explains why there are so many different religious texts that vary considerably in terms of theology, morality, and practices.

Simply put, God lied to everyone. Whether by prophecy, revelation, or divine inspiration, it was all a lie. It wouldn’t even have to be an elaborate lie. An all-powerful deity could just present the ideas to a few select people in history and let them do the rest. If the goal of the deity was to create a wide variety of religious dogma, then that’s working smart rather than hard.

The fact that it helps make sense of all the disagreements and discords within religion also creates a paradox, of sorts. Religion, by its nature, is built around belief. Peoples entire understanding of gods, spirits, and the supernatural are contingent on how ardently they believe in a particular theology. However, if that understanding is built on lies, then the entire religion is a product of an inherent untruth.

It’s a distressing thought, the notion that such a powerful being could or would willingly lie. That’s why most believers of any faith usually scoff at the notion. They’ll often claim their deity cannot lie because their deity is all-good on top of being all-powerful. Even if their holy text contains some objectively terrible atrocities that a deity committed or condoned, they’ll still make the claim that their deity is inherently good.

However, that only exchanges one paradox for another. If a deity is all-powerful, then that means the deity can do anything by definition, regardless of whether it’s good or evil. If a deity is all good, then that means it is incapable of doing anything evil. As such, it cannot be all-powerful. A deity that can only do good simply cannot be all-powerful, by default.

A lying deity resolves both paradoxes. The ability to lie, whether it’s for good or for evil, is perfectly within the capabilities of an all-powerful being. Even if that deity is all-good, then perhaps it can still lie, but only for good reasons, which do exist. That deity just can’t be all-powerful.

Even with these paradoxes, I doubt adherents of a particular faith would accept the possibility that their deity ever lied to them, their ancestors, or their fellow believers. They may accept that lesser or evil deities lie to others who don’t share their beliefs. However, those same people could make the same claim about them and there would be no difference, in terms of merit.

Non-believers will often cite the vast diversity of religious beliefs, both today and throughout history. They all can’t be right, but they all can be wrong. That’s perfectly in line with the law of non-contradiction.

That won’t stop believers from arguing passionately that they have the right answer to these profound questions. Even if they don’t have a way of verifying that belief, they’ll still believe in what they see is divine truth. However, the paradox of a lying god further complicates that idea.

Even if there is an all-powerful deity that has interacted in human affairs, how does anyone know whether said deity lied? Being all-powerful, the deity wouldn’t even need a reason. Lying would just be another exercise of that power. In that case, a lying deity is indistinguishable from a non-existent one. Logistically, there’s no way to verify either.

I know making this claim isn’t going to win many arguments with the devoutly religious. I don’t doubt that even suggesting that their god is liar has offended some people. I understand that. At the same time, I think it’s an idea worth scrutinizing. Just contemplating the possibility that a deity has lied adds what I believe is a necessary wrinkle to religious dogma.

Religion is such a powerful force in peoples’ lives. For better or for worse, it guides society, politics, and culture all over the world. People believe what they believe with great passion and piety. Nobody wants to entertain the notion that such a big part of their life is based on a lie. For something this powerful, though, I believe it’s worth thinking about.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: NFL Kickoff 2019 Edition

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Are you ready for some football? Get used to that question because we’ll be hearing that question at least once a week for the rest of the year, often in conjunction with Hank Williams’ music. That’s because the 2019 NFL season is finally here! As a lifelong football fan who builds his Sundays around watching football, I couldn’t be happier.

To some, this is that magical time of year in which every team is tied and each has a chance to make the Super Bowl. To others, it’s that time of year where people yell at the TV more than they should and stay up way too late on Monday nights. I know football has its critics and its detractors, but there’s no denying it’s significance here in America, especially this time of year.

I’ve already given my picks as to who I think will hoist the Lombardi Trophy this year. Chances are I’m wrong. The only certainty at the beginning of an NFL season is that nobody knows how it’s going to play out. That’s part of what makes it so thrilling. There are so many crazy things that can happen. Where else can you see a lanky sixth round draft pick go onto become the greatest of all time?

I look forward to another eventful, dramatic season. I’ve already stocked up on beer, nachos, and pizza. To answer Mr. Williams’ iconic question, I am ready for some football and I hope these Sexy Sunday Thoughts get everyone else ready as well. Enjoy!


“Whoever said time flies when you’re having fun probably suffered from premature ejaculation.”


“It is possible to have too much sex, but it’s considerably harder to have too much foreplay.”


“Sunsets are more romantic because they’re less associated with hangovers.”


“For a narcissist, almost every sex act is a form of masturbation.”


“Setting the mood is much easier when you have a lover with a dirty mind.”


“Anyone can make love in good weather, but it takes a special passion to make love in the middle of a storm.”


“Technically, wet dreams were the first instance of free porn.”


The end of summer means many things to many people. As a kid, it always meant going back to school, which I hated. As an adult, however, it has gained a very different meaning and the start of football season is a big part of that. I’m excited about the season and I’m looking forward to some very eventful Sunday afternoons. My only hope is to one day find a beautiful woman that I can share them with.

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“Loving Memories” A Sexy Short Story (Featuring Sex Robots)

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The following is another sexy short story featuring sex robots. After my previous story, “My First Sex Robot,” got such a strong response, I’m curious to see if this one garners a similar reaction. It takes a different approach compared to my previous stories featuring sex robots. Hopefully, it strikes the right chords, including the sexy ones. Please, if you can, take the time to provide feedback. I’d love to hear from you. Enjoy!

Many people claimed to understand true love. Those same people might also claim they understand loss. Karina Stroman had encountered many of those people in the past three, four months, and nine days. That was how long it had been since her husband, Lieutenant Joseph A. Stroman died. Throughout that painful, heart-breaking stretch of time, she became convinced. They didn’t understand in the slightest.

Karina loved her husband. She loved him in ways few could appreciate. He was the only man she’d ever dated. He was the only man she’d ever slept with. He was the only man she wanted to marry. She had every intention of growing old and gray with him, having kids and building a life together. The idea of not being with him never crossed her mind.

Then, it happened.

Her husband, an aspiring pilot in the Air Force who aspired to fly planes, died in a terrible crash. They said it was an accident. They claimed there was nothing anyone could’ve done. That didn’t make it hurt any less. Her heart broke into a billion pieces that day. Nothing had been the same since.

“A part of me died with him,” Karina had told her friends and family. “I don’t think I can be whole without him.”

That was a common refrain in the days, weeks, and months after Joseph’s death. She received plenty of sympathy from others. She received metals, a folded flag, and personal condolences from her husband’s fellow soldiers and officers. She even received a letter of sympathy from the President. Karina appreciated the sentiment, but her heart remained broken.

More recently, the same friends and family who cried with her at Joseph’s funeral were urging her to move on. She was still young and beautiful. More than one man had asked her out since her husband’s death. More than one friend tried to set her up on a date. She refused at every turn.

“I’m not ready. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready,” she often told them.

It had gotten to a point where she started to frustrate others. Even Joseph’s parents urged her to move forward with her life. Nobody wanted to see her alone and heartbroken until her dying days. A part of her didn’t want that, either. Another part of her loved Joseph too much to ever truly move on. It seemed like there was no way to escape her sorrow.

That all changed approximately five minutes ago when she received a large crate from a private military courier. She accepted it, not knowing what it was or who sent it. After reeling it into the living room of her modest suburban townhouse, she opened it to see a figure that made her heart skip a beat.

“Good evening, Karina Stroman. It’s great to finally meet you.”

She’d stumbled back and gasped, covering her mouth in disbelief. She was still in a state of shock. What she was looking at shouldn’t have been possible. She blinked several times, trying to wake up from what had to be a dream.

However, this was real. Within the large create, standing before her with perfect poise, was a figure that perfectly resembled Joseph Stroman. It looked like him, sounded like him, and even smiled like him. Everything from his slim muscular build to the small mole on the side of his neck was there. He wasn’t wearing much, either. He wore nothing but a pair of white boxers, not unlike the kind Joseph wore to bed.

That was impossible. It didn’t make sense until it – her he, if her eyes were working properly – explained everything.

“Forgive me,” he said as he stepped out of the crate, “I should probably clarify what you’re seeing.”

“That…would be helpful,” Karina said, still leaning against her couch for support.

“Firstly, I am not your late husband, Lieutenant Joseph Stroman. I simply look like him. I sincerely apologize for any distress my appearance has caused you. But there is a reason for my appearance and it’s a good one.”

“It damn well better be,” she said strongly.

“I may not be him, but I was built and configured to mirror him in every possible way.”

“Built and configured?” Karina questioned.

“Yes. For you see, I am a robot. Specifically, I am an android with a humanoid stature, mechanical inner workings, and synthetic flesh. My systems are calibrated to operate in a manner consistent with an ordinary human. While my form is entirely synthetic, my exterior was molded with the intent to be indistinguishable from that of humans…specifically, that of Joseph Stroman. If you want, you can touch me and see for yourself.”

Karina was still in shock. She needed a few extra moments to process seeing something/someone who looked exactly like her late husband. She needed even more to process the idea that she was looking at a robot.

To her knowledge, robots – or androids, if that made a difference – were pretty advanced, but not like this. She’d seen a few stories about some company creating a life-like, human-looking robot. She knew they existed and some where incredibly realistic. However, seeing it on TV or the internet was not the same as seeing one up close.

Eventually, she gathered herself enough to stand under her own power and reach over to touch the figures arm. To her continued amazement, it felt real. The skin, the hair, and the sweat all felt real. Even the unique texture of his flesh perfectly matched her memories of Joseph.

“Wow,” she said. “It feels so…human.”

“As I previously stated, that was the intention,” the figure replied with a smile that also matched Joseph’s.

“Whose intentions?” Karina asked while still marveling at the feel of his skin.

“I’m afraid I cannot divulge every detail of my creation. I can only state that my presence came at the direct order of a new military-sponsored support program. Under this program, the military has partnered with several advanced robotics companies and artificial intelligence researchers. The primary goal revolves around the creation, refinement, and development of human-like androids. While much of its progress is classified, I can confirm that the program achieved sufficient advances to pursue one of its many secondary goals.”

“And that includes…” she said distantly, trying to connect the dots.

“Providing special compensation the widowed spouses of fallen soldiers,” he said.

Karina stopped obsessing over how real his skin felt and gazed up into the figure’s eyes. The shock had worn off. Other feelings emerged as more realizations sank in.

She took a step closer to him. She reached out and caressed his face, which felt exactly like Joseph’s after he shaved. Every one of her senses told her the same thing. The figure before her looked, felt, and even smelled like Joseph. At the same time, she kept reminding herself that Joseph was dead. It left her conflicted, but deeply curious.

“What happened to your husband was a tragedy,” the figure told her, a distinct hint of emotion in his voice. “Lieutenant Joseph Stroman was a good, honorable man. He also loved you very much.”

“How can you know that?” Karina asked.

“Because I’ve had every byte of public and private data from his life uploaded into my brain,” he said. “The pictures he shared with loved ones…the videos you made together…the memories he recounted in his journals…his love for you was vast. Even though I’m configured to specialize in human emotional responses, even my systems cannot process the extent of your love. It is…powerful.”

Karina cracked a smile. It was one of the few smiles she’d freely expressed since her husband’s death. There was something comforting about hearing how deep Joseph’s love went for her. If even an advanced robot couldn’t process it, then it must have been special.

“Despite those limitations, I was sent to you as a possible means of compensation,” he continued. “While the United States military can never give you your husband back, it can make a concerted effort to provide intimate solace.”

“Well, this is a lot more concerted than I expected,” Karina said. “And here I was thinking they’d stop with a letter, a flag, and handful of meager benefits.”

“For what you lost, such compensation is insufficient. That’s why the program spent considerable resources to configure my physical and cognitive specifications to perfectly match that of Joseph Stroman. It also gave me a stated purpose.”

As she softly caressed his face, the figure that perfectly resembled her dead husband embraced her with his powerful arms. In an instant, the loving warmth that Karina thought she’d never feel again surrounded her. It further blurred the lines between artificial and human.

Her husband was still dead. Being embraced by a robot that looked just like him wasn’t exactly the same, but it felt pretty damn close. It was so close that it triggered within her other feelings she didn’t think she’d experience.

“Every one of my systems – from my synthetic flesh to my bodily operations to my artificial sentience – it’s all configured to convey love, comfort, and affection to the one Joseph Stroman loved most.”

“Configured?” Karina questioned, part of her still struggling to accept it.

“Call it what you will. I assure you these are not pre-programmed responses,” he said to her. “I think. I feel. I experience emotions…albeit not in the same manner as humans. The end results are still the same.”

“So you can actually experience love,” she said.

“Yes. I can.”

That seemed impossible. Then again, her standard for the impossible had changed considerably in the past half-hour.

Within the grasp of this figure – an artificial being, crafted to look, sound, and feel like her dead lover – Karina dared to experience emotions that she once took for granted. She pawed the figure’s chest. She trailed her fingers over the contours of his muscles. It all felt so real, right down to the gentle heat radiating from his body.

At the same time, she felt him explore her body with his hands. He did so with the same care and affection as Joseph. He demonstrated a keen knowledge of her intimate warmth, touching and caressing her just as her husband had done in their many romantic moments. It was jarring, but it also made a point.

When she felt his gestures, she experienced the same loving comfort that she had with Joseph. When she looked into his eyes, she didn’t just see a robot mimicking emotion. She saw a thinking, sentient being experiencing those emotions. It seemed like such a profound feat, but did it really matter whether emotions came from a human or robot brain?

Karina kept telling herself that the man/android embracing her wasn’t Joseph. At the same time, she couldn’t deny the feelings he evoked in her.

“Please note – and I am required to tell you this – you need not accept this,” he told her. “If my presence is too distressing or if, for whatever reason, you choose not to participate in this program, please say so.”

“But what’ll happen to you?” Karina asked.

“Nothing unpleasant, I assure you,” he said with a light smile. “I will simply signal my creators, return to my create, deactivate my systems, and await my retrieval. You need not worry. I won’t be offended. I won’t feel any discomfort, either.”

“But you’ll be destroyed,” she said.

“Not necessarily. I’ll likely be reformatted and reconfigured for another participant. I won’t even recall this discussion. But, as I stand before you this instant, I do not prefer that recourse. I would rather stay here with you in the form of Joseph Stroman. However, it is ultimately your choice, Karina. Whatever you choose, I will honor.”

It almost felt like a life-or-death decision, but the robotic figure did not appear concerned. He just kept smiling at her. He even showed some of that subtle charm that Joseph often displayed whenever he already knew what decision she was leaning towards.

That didn’t make the decision any less difficult. This thing – this robot built around the body, mind, and passions of her late husband – had just asked her to decide his fate. Even if he wasn’t technically alive, the course of his life was in her hands. As she contemplated that choice, she once again reached up and caressed his face.

“Joseph…” Karina found herself saying.

His smile widened, as though that name meant as much to him as it did to her. He also deepened his embrace, holding her closely and parting her hair behind her ear, as Joseph often did when he wanted to see the full extent of her beauty. In that moment, her broken heart skipped a beat. Painful memories of the man she lost boiled to the surface. When all those feelings converged, her choice became clear.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Karina said.

“I’m sorry. I need direct confirmation. Do you want me to stay?”

“Yes. Please stay…Joseph.”

Hearing her call him that must have triggered something because his demeanor became much less robotic. He seemed so human at that point that the difference was negligible. By almost every meaningful measure, she was standing in her husband’s arms.

“Please…kiss me,” she told him, as if to double down on her decision.

“As you wish…Karina.”

His voice gained a more emotional undertone, which counted as another sign that she wasn’t just interacting with a robot. When their lips touched and they shared a kiss, it became even clearer. Karina was sharing something deeper with this being…this man who carried in him her husband’s spirit.

His lips felt just like the man she remembered. Even his tongue felt as real as any other man. How that system worked was far beyond her expertise, but she didn’t care. As far as Karina was concerned, she was kissing Joseph again.

It was like reliving a memory in perfect detail. As soon as their lips touched, he kissed her with the same passion Joseph had on their wedding day. It was as though he’d studied every kiss they ever shared. Given his robotic hardware, that probably wasn’t too far from the truth.

“My God…it’s just like I remembered,” Karina said, already on the brink of tears.

“That feeling…exceeds the parameter’s programming,” the android said.

Just like that, she remembered he was still part robot. However, she found it more funny than jarring.

“You might want to re-think your choice of words moving forward,” she said with a humored chuckle.

“Understood,” he replied, mirroring her humored tone. “There are quite a few experiences to explore.”

“I’m sure there are. I have a lot of questions.”

“Well, I assume one in particular will come up eventually. So I might as well address it.”

He broke their embrace and took a step back. Karina, now as curious as she was impassioned, watched as he removed his boxers, the only article of clothing he had on. In doing so, he revealed that his hardware included more than just her lover’s charismatic smile.

“Oh my!” she gasped in mix of astonishment and intrigue. “Whoever molded you after my husband was very thorough.”

“Their stated goal was to copy every feature. That includes Joseph’s penis,” he said, laughing curtly at her reaction. “And yes, by the way. It works.”

“By that, you mean…” Karina said, probing for specifics.

“It does get hard. I can have sex with it. I even experience pleasure from it…if you define tactile date mimicking the male orgasm pleasure.”

“I won’t bother with technicalities. If it works, I’ll just have to take your word for it.”

“Hopefully, I’ll have a chance to convince you. While my creators stressed accuracy in terms of appearance and mannerisms, they also included a few supplemental features.”

Before Karina could ask for more details, he showed her in a way that once again affirmed his robotic status. While simply standing before her, neither touching her nor himself, his penis swelled and became fully erect.

It happened so fast and efficiently. Karina was a registered nurse. She knew male biology better than most. Even a healthy man with a healthy penis didn’t get aroused that quickly with no stimulation. For all she knew, his creators expected one of his primary functions to involve having sex with a lonely woman. Having not experienced any sexual intimacy in over three years, she couldn’t deny the appeal of such a function.

“Wow,” she said in amazement. “That’s just…wow.”

“You can touch it, if you wish,” he offered.

He approached the same way he had with embracing and kissing her, giving her every opportunity to take things slow. To this point, Karina appreciated that. It was a lot to take in. The military had sent her a perfect, flesh-covered robot of her dead husband to help compensate her for her loss. The concept alone carried so many overwhelming implications.

This time, however, she chose not to take things slow. After over three years of loneliness, heartache, and sorrow, Karina needed something more than that. In that fateful moment, she stopped trying to wrap her head around it all and embraced the experience.

“Actually…I’d like to do more than just touch it,” she told him.

This time, it was her turn to surprise him…although that assumed androids could be surprised.

While standing before him, she took off her clothes. She’d only been wearing a T-shirt, a dirty pair of sweatpants, and white panties with no bra. If she’d known she would get a visit from an intelligent android that looked like her dead husband, she would’ve put on something sexier. That didn’t stop him from appreciating the sight of her nude form.

“You’re beautiful, Karina,” he told her.

“I’d say that’s your programming talking,” Karina replied, “but that’s exactly what Joseph told me when saw me get naked in front of him…even in non-sexy situations.”

“And what of this particular situation? I may be an android, but I’m not optimized to surmise how sexual it may be.”

“Then, allow me to clear that up.”

Upon kicking her pants across the room, Karina re-entered his embrace and kissed him again. This time, she made sure her naked skin pressed up against his synthetic flesh. It both got her point across and evoked the desired response.

As they kissed, she further explored his masculine stature, pawing his flesh with the same sensual care she’d used with Joseph. He did the same, feeling up her feminine curves and grazing his fingers over her naked skin. He even put Joseph’s memories to good use, squeezing her butt and fondling her breasts in just the right ways. Her husband knew her body so well. He understood where and how to touch her in order to spark a deeper desire.

“Clear enough?” Karina whispered in between kisses.

“Yes…clear indeed,” he replied.

The kissing resumed. The touching intensified. This being – who she saw as a man as much as she saw a robot – wasn’t just consoling her after years of loneliness and celibacy. He was turning her on. She wanted this robot built around her late husband’s image. Between his affectionate gestures and erect penis, it was clear he wanted her too.

“Joseph,” she said, already short of breath, “I want you to make love to me.”

“I want that too. Man, machine, robot, or android…I want it so much.”

Those words had profound implications. The idea that a robot, even one built in the image of her loving husband, wanted to make love to her carried a great deal of weight. How much of that desire was programming? How much of it was real, genuine emotion?

Karina couldn’t hope to answer those questions. Men, robots, and memories aside, she was going to make love to Joseph. Whether he was man or robot was only a technicality.

“Come,” Karina said, latching onto his arm. “Let’s take this to our bedroom.”

“Our bedroom…yes.”

The fact that she referred to it as their bedroom was telling. It spoke to just how much she’d embraced the idea of having this robot embody the spirit of her husband.

With an energy she hadn’t shown in a long time, she led the masculine figure up the stairs, down the hall, and into the master bedroom. It was the same room she’d once shared with Joseph. The pictures, blankets, and décor were the same as they were the last time she made love to her husband. She swore he recognized it, even as he carried her to the king-sized bed, just as he did on their honeymoon.

“Relax, my darling. I’m going to get you nice and wet,” he told her as he laid her down in the center of the bed.

“You know, those are the exact words Joseph used on our wedding night,” Karina told him. “Same tone too. Just how detailed do your memories go?”

“They’re as detailed as they need to be. Perhaps this will help demonstrate that.”

Like the same considerate lover she remembered and mourned, he kissed her again and caressed her womanly figure with the utmost affection. Her heart raced. A powerful heat formed between her thighs. As she lay flat on her back, he steadily trailed his lips down her face, neck, breasts and torso.

It was the same path Joseph often followed, right down the part where he gave her right nipple an extra lick. As her state of arousal intensified, he lightly grasped her thighs and pushed her legs apart. Bit by bit, he worked his way down her abdomen until he reached the outer folds of her womanhood.

“Ooh, my God!” Karina gasped.

From there, he began giving her oral sex. His lips made contact with the tender folds of her outer genitalia. His tongue entered her folds, probing her hot depths. A sharp burst of sexual sensations followed. It was so intense she trembled, gasping and moaning in ways she hadn’t experienced since her wedding night.

“Are you okay, my love?” he asked her.

“I’m fine!” she assured him. “Please, don’t stop! It’s just…it’s been a while.”

That was just a polite way of saying she hadn’t had any kind of sex since her husband died. She still got horny. She still had desires. She just couldn’t bring herself to pursue intimacy after his death. The idea of any sharing such intimacy with any other man just didn’t sit well.

The current intimacy wasn’t just from any man, though. She was getting it from a robot with the body, memory, and passions of her lost love. Judging by how thorough he was with eating a woman out, he’d also been programmed with extensive knowledge of female anatomy.

“Yes! Ooh yes! It’s so good! That feels so…so good!” Karina gasped, writhing under the weight of the pleasure.

“Karina…you taste so good,” he replied, his voice muffled by her inner thighs.

“You…can taste too?”

“Yes,” he said, “and it’s delicious!”

Like a perfect blend of an impassioned man and a skilled robot, he licked, fingered, and fondled her womanhood to an extent that felt like uncharted territory for oral sex. It left her so aroused and impassioned that the unusual circumstances of this intimate moment stopped mattering.

She’d asked Joseph to make love to her. Whether dead or alive through a robot, the feeling was within her grasp.

“Joseph…my one and only love,” she said in her amorous daze. “Please…take me.”

He heeded her words with an urgency befitting of a dedicated lover. Having pleased her to the point of maximum arousal, he worked his way back up her naked body and positioned himself on top of her.

It was a moment straight out of her fondest memories. She and Joseph had been in the exact same position the first time they made love. It had been in her old bedroom. They’d made out, undressed one another, and laid in the center of the bed with him on top of her. In a perfect blend of instinct and passion, she hooked her legs around his waist while he aligned his still-erect manhood with her waiting entrance.

That memory set the tone for the many intimate moments they shared throughout their lives. She thought those moments would only be memories after Joseph died. Now, here he was in a new form, ready to turn memories into passion.

“Karina…” he said with the same loving tone as Joseph.

“Joseph…” Karina replied, caressing his face, just as she had in that fateful memory.

In a powerful act of shared intimacy, he entered her. Hard masculine flesh penetrated moist feminine depths. She let out a deep gasp while he remained intensely focused, caressing her hips and kissing down her neck.

Bodies started moving.

Pleasure started flowing.

In that moment, the line between past memories and present experiences disappeared.

“We’re really doing it. We’re making love!”

Saying it out loud brought tears to her eyes, but for the first time in over three years, they weren’t tears of sorrow. Joy…wonderous, blissful joy filled her body and soul. As Karina closed her eyes and raked her hands down her lover’s back, the joy of making love to her husband consumed her.

It played out better than any fond memory. In addition to a keen knowledge of giving women oral sex, he also knew how she and Joseph approached sex. They started off simple, going at it in a standard missionary position. He was slow and careful, working his body along hers and establishing a steady pace.

Then, the pace intensified.

They started kissing, teasing, and caressing one another. They rolled around on the bed, laughing and moaning in accord with the pleasure. One moment, he was top with her legs hitched over his shoulder. The next, she was on top, riding his dick while he fondled her breasts. In another, she was on her side while he spooned her from behind, reaching around to fondle her clitoris as their bodies moved together.

They were never in a rush. They were never too rough or fervent. She and Joseph had always enjoyed drawing out their sex, enjoying the intimacy and celebrating the act of expressing their love. This man – robot, android, or whatever he might have been – shared that same fondness. He never once lost focus. Like Joseph, he directed every bit of passionate energy onto her. By the time he got her to the brink of orgasm, it was almost a formality.

“Joseph…my love,” Karina said in a passionate daze. “I’m close…really close.”

“I am too, Karina,” he whispered to her. “This feeling…I want to share it too.”

It wasn’t lost on her that this was technically his first time. He might have had Joseph’s memories and knowledge, but having that data wasn’t the same as turning it into a physical act. She didn’t know how different his synthetic penis was to that of an ordinary man, but if it was as effective as her late husband’s, it would do plenty to complete the feeling.

When it arrived, it hit her body like a bolt of lightning. The escalating sensations reached a crescendo. A powerful, intense release of pleasure followed. It flowed through her body like a wave washing over a desolate landscape. As she took it all in, she cried out the name of the man she loved once more.

“Ohhh Joseph!”

As she shuddered under the weight of the orgasmic onslaught, he let out a deep grunt that perfectly mirrored that masculine strength her husband so perfectly embodied. She took his hand and hers, entwining their fingers, as she soaked in her climax while he got hers. Near as she could tell, he felt it too. She could even sense his manhood throbbing inside her inner folds. There was no fluid, as far as she could tell, but the ecstasy was very real.

Together, they gasped and panted in a culmination of passion. At one point, their bodies parted and they lay curled up together, facing one another within a naked embrace. She didn’t say a word and neither did he. She could see the love in his eyes…a love that she thought had died with him, but here it was looking right at her again. It might have been possible to mimic some acts of intimacy, but no amount of programming could mirror true, genuine love.

“I love you, Karina,” he said to her.

“I love you too, Joseph,” Karina said without hesitation. “I miss you so much. I know you’re gone. Yet here you are…with me…together.”

“Together,” he said before kissing her again.

Over three years ago, a wonderful man named Joseph Stroman died. He left behind a wife who loved him with all her heart. She loved him so much that she worried that her broken heart would never heal. Dead or alive…man or robot…Karina felt it in that moment. Her husband, Joseph, might have died, but in this figure before her, their love endured.

 

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Daily Sexy Musing: Beautiful Proposals

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In every great love story, real and fictional, a marriage proposal is often the apex of the romance. Some treat it like the final play of the Super Bowl. Others treat it like the victory parade for those who win the Super Bowl. Either way can work. There’s a reason people make a big deal of it and it’s a damn good reason.

Even if you have a very cynical view of marriage, there’s no denying the romantic power of the proposal. It’s the basis of many movies, novels, and TV shows. While some are more memorable than others, they all attempt to capture the power of this moment. In real life, people go to great lengths to make their proposal special. When done right, it’s a perfect manifestation of everything that’s great about love.

I don’t just bring this up become I’m a romance fan and an aspiring erotica/romance writer. Recently, I got some big news from a close family member of mine. Out of respect for my family, who I know reads this site from time to time, I won’t provide names or details. I’ll just say that my family now has a wedding to plan and it’s all thanks to a beautiful proposal.

Chances are I’ll be writing a lot about weddings and marriage proposals in the coming months. Given that this is a big family event, I’ll likely play a major role in making this wedding special for the bride, the groom, and both families. I’m still processing the news, but I’m also very much inspired.

It’s more than enough for a Daily Sexy Musing, but rest assured, this won’t be the only wedding-related content I make. For now, consider this an appetizer. Also, to the close family member who may be reading this, congratulations! I promise to make the big day as awesome as possible.

It starts with a thought.

In you, I see the one I love. I wake up by your side in the morning and come home to you in the evening. You are in my thoughts and dreams throughout the day. My world is tied to yours. Every vision of the future involves us together. The very concept of love begins and ends with you.

Then, it becomes an idea.

I see myself tying my life to yours. An intimate bond is not enough. We kiss, we embrace, and we make love as much as any two people can. However, these are all acts that any couple can do. What we have is special. It deserves to be special. To make it special, I seek a special affirmation.

Finally, it becomes a realization.

The recourse becomes so obvious. I love you and you love me. Our paths crossed and our lives became indelibly entwined. Chance and circumstance may have brought us together, but powerful passions formed unique bonds. I don’t just want to be your lover. A love like ours warrants something greater.

In a moment, forever etched in memory, I get down on one knee.

In a moment, born of longing, I proclaim to you the breadth of my live.

In a moment, built on a love unique to us, I ask to be with you until my dying breath.

Time stops as our hearts align. Every thought, notion, and feeling converges in a singular choice. I see tears from in your eyes. Joy and elation manifest before us both.

You say yes.

I take your hand.

We hold one another as our love takes on its ultimate form.

Our journey as lovers is complete.

Our journey as married spouses begins.

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Jack Fisher’s Predictions/Picks For The 2019 NFL Season

NFL Combine Football

It’s that wonderful, exciting, beer-soaked time of year again. A new NFL season is upon us. Football fans, like myself, have followed news, leaks, and rumors from the start of free agency to the NFL draft to the preseason. It’s all been building towards this.

We’ve all been anxiously waiting to see if our team has done enough to become a contender. There have been all sorts of bold predictions, rampant speculation, heavy hype, and even a little doom-saying. Some major stories about certain players have already thrown things into chaos. More chaos is sure to come as the season progresses. That’s part of what makes the NFL one of the best spectacles in all of sports.

Last year, I made my share of predictions. Again, I was dead wrong. I grossly overestimated how the Pittsburgh Steelers would navigate the chaos that is Le’Veon Bell and how much Kirk Cousins would underachieve after signing his historic free agency contract. This year, I’m sure I’ll make predictions that are every bit as off.

That’s another part of what makes the NFL season such entertaining. It really is unpredictable. You never know what team will go from worst to first. You never know what team will collapse. You never know when a bullshit call by the refs will cost a team a trip to the Super Bowl. You really can’t know until the games are played and it all starts tonight with the kickoff of the 2019 NFL season.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am ready for some football! Just as I’ve done the previous two years, I’m going to make my picks and predictions for division winners and Super Bowl contenders this season. Most of them will likely be wrong, but that’s exactly why I’ll be locked in to watch for the next several months. It’s sure to be a wild ride.


AFC East

Once again, the AFC east is the most lopsided division in the NFL. You don’t need to be a psychic to know how this one will play out. For the past two decades, the New England Patriots have dominated this division as though it were a bunch of tune-up games. I don’t see that changing this season.

The fact remains that Tom Brady has six Super Bowl rings. The New England Patriots have won this division almost every year since 2001. The only time they lost it in 2008 was when Brady was out with a knee injury. Unless he’s injured or retires, he and the Patriots will breeze through the Jets, Bills, and Dolphins.

All three of those teams are in a rebuilding phase. The only team that stands a sliver of a chance is the Jets, who have put together a decent team with Sam Darnold as their quarterback. However, neither he nor anyone else in that division is close to dethroning the Patriots. Until Brady and Belichick retire, that will not change.

Winner: New England Patriots


AFC North

Unlike the AFC East, this division has become less and less predictable with each passing season. Not long ago, the Pittsburgh Steelers were the most loaded team in the division. Their presence in the playoffs was almost a given. It was just a matter of them not underachieving at the worst possible time, which tended to happen.

Now, even with Ben Roethlisberger still playing at a high level, the Steelers have been losing ground to the Baltimore Ravens and the emerging Cleveland Browns. Last year, the Ravens really surprised everyone with how Lamar Jackson fared against top defenses. While I suspect opposing defenses will catch up with him, the team around him has what it takes to keep the Ravens competitive.

While I know the Browns have become a hot pick this season, thanks largely to some big time trades, they haven’t proved they’re capable of taking that next step. At the very least, they’ll keep the Steelers and the Ravens from running away with the division. They may even get into the playoffs as a wild card team. For now, though, I think the Ravens have the most balanced team and they’ll repeat this year.

Winner: Baltimore Ravens


AFC South

A few weeks ago, I thought I had a pretty good idea of how this division was going to play out. Then, Andrew Luck retired in the middle of the preseason at age 29. While I can’t necessarily blame him, given all the injuries he endured, his retirement caught the Indianapolis Colts off-guard and the entire AFC South, for that matter.

This division has become a lot more competitive in recent years. Both the Houston Texans and the Jacksonville Jaguars made sure that Luck’s run with the Colts was painful. His absence can only help them. While Colts do have some play-makers outside of Luck, I don’t see them as being enough to compete this year.

Instead, I think this division might end up being the most dramatic, thanks to the arrival of Nick Foles in Jacksonville. While the Texans have big names like J. J. Watt, the Jaguars have a more complete team, overall. Poor quarterback play by Blake Bortles was the only reason they came up short last year and Nick Foles is a huge upgrade over Bortles.

Let’s not forget that Foles has one thing that no other quarterback in the AFC South has, including Andrew Luck, and that’s a Super Bowl ring. This is the guy who beat Tom Brady in a shootout. He brought Philadelphia a championship. I think he’ll get the Jaguars into the playoffs and he may even do some damage.

Winner: Jacksonville Jaguars


AFC West

Last year might have marked the beginning of a new era in the AFC. The season that Patrick Mahomes had last year was nothing short of gaudy. He established the Kansas City Chiefs as an offensive powerhouse and took his team to within a few minutes of the Super Bowl. He even managed to do this during a season when Phillip Rivers had one of his best years with the Los Angeles Chargers.

I see no reason why Mahomes and the Chiefs can’t be contenders again in 2019. However, I’ve been watching football long enough to know that any team can get hot one year and fall flat the next. While I don’t see the Chiefs collapsing, I also can’t see them being as dominant as they were last year.

At the same time, I don’t see any other team in their division elevating their game enough to challenge the Chiefs. The Broncos might give them some issues with Joe Flacco, a former Super Bowl MVP, as their quarterback, but I have a feeling that Mahomes will come back down to Earth this season.

That said, I think the Chiefs have enough firepower and depth to repeat. The Raiders, Broncos, and Chargers will keep it closer this year, but not enough to get past Kansas City.

Winner: Kansas City Chiefs


NFC East

This is one of those divisions that I find frustrating because no team ever seems to sustain their success, once they get it. There hasn’t been a team to repeat as division champs since the early 2000s and I don’t see that changing this year. Between contract disputes with the Dallas Cowboys and the Philadelphia Eagles losing their former Super Bowl MVP to free agency, I’m genuinely perplexed by the NFC East this year.

That said, this division did get somewhat simpler over the offseason. Eli Manning, despite his two Super Bowl rings, keeps showing his age. The Washington Redskins lost the quarterback who was supposed to keep the team stable for the next several seasons. As a result, the NFC East is basically a two-horse race, but both horses have some open wounds.

The Eagles and the Cowboys have playoff-caliber teams. The Cowboys have been more stable, but they haven’t done much in the playoffs. They also let the drama with Ezekiel Elliot get way out of hand. I can see both teams going back to the playoffs this year, but I think the Eagles have more going for them.

Winner: Philadelphia Eagles


NFC North

This is another confusing division, but for much better reasons. This division has steadily gotten more competitive over the past several years. It was once dominated by the Green Bay Packers and their all-pro quarterback/State Farm spokesman, Aaron Rogers. For the past couple years, however, the Packers underachieved while the Chicago Bears, Minnesota Vikings, and Detroit Lions only got better.

This year could be one of the most competitive to date, for this division. You could make an argument for all four teams winning the division. You could even make an argument for them being contenders in the NFC Championship game. They all have quarterbacks that can play at a pro-bowl level and defenses that can make a difference in any given game.

I’m tempted to go with the only quarterback who has won a Super Bowl. However, with a new coach taking over and no play-makers on defense, I can’t pick the Packers to do much this year. I’m also tempted to pick the Vikings again, but until Kirk Cousins stops choking in big games, I’m going to have to go with the growing success of Chicago. They may not compete for a Super Bowl, but they will start to establish themselves this year.

Winner: Chicago Bears


NFC South

Let me make one thing clear before I break down this division. The New Orleans Saints were robbed last year. They should’ve been the team playing the Patriots in Super Bowl LIII. That bullshit no-call in the 2018 NFC Championship Game was one of the worst calls in NFL history.

That said, I think the New Orleans Saints are going to make up for that gaff this year. Drew Brees is a Hall of Fame quarterback. That much is beyond dispute. He’s got a great team around him, but the Saints have suffered two heartbreaking playoff losses in two years. At some point, that starts to wear on a team. Just ask the Buffalo Bills.

I also think the Saints benefited from a weak division in 2018, which was marred by injuries and a version of Cam Newton that was not at full strength. They won’t have those benefits in 2019. They’ll still be the team to beat. They’ll still probably make the playoffs, but I think the Falcons did enough in the offseason to bolster their team.

I know the Falcons may not have gotten over their epic collapse in Super Bowl LI, but they still have an elite quarterback in Matt Ryan and play-makers on offense that are finally healthy. That will be what tips the balance in their favor.

Winner: Atlanta Falcons


NFC West

Let me make another thing clear before I break down this division, as well. The Los Angeles Rams did not deserve to be in Super Bowl LIII, but they are still a team that can contend for a Super Bowl in 2019. They have a defense littered with Pro Bowlers and depth. They have an offense that is more balanced than almost any other team in the NFL. They can get back to the Super Bowl and they can win it.

It helps that their division is relatively weak. Other than the Seattle Seahawks, they really don’t have much in terms of obstacles. The San Francisco 49ers have a quarterback coming off a major knee injury and the Arizona Cardinals have a new coach and a new quarterback who haven’t yet learned how to win in the NFL. Their path to Super Bowl LIV is easier than most.

I admit I was among those who were very skeptical of the Rams. I thought they were just overachieving for a year or so. However, they’ve convinced me that they have what it takes to compete at a high level consistently. Their team, as well as their baby-faced coach, are young and hungry. I think they’ll take the division again. I just don’t think they can keep relying on the refs to hand them the game.

Winner: Los Angeles Rams


Super Bowl LIV Prediction

This year might be one of the least predictable years for the NFL in the past decade. We’re going into a season that has has no overly dominant team. There are a few with weak schedules and weak divisions, but that will only get you into the playoffs. It won’t carry you to a Super Bowl.

Given these uncertainties, I still have a gut feeling as to who will make it to the big game on February 2, 2020 in Miami. My gut feeling is usually wrong when it comes to sports, but right now, it’s telling me that the two teams that will face off on that day will be the Atlanta Falcons and the Kansas City Chiefs.

These are two teams with immense talent at the quarterback position. Both Matt Ryan and Patrick Mahomes are among the NFL’s elite in terms of stats and leadership. They also have defensive talent on each team that can give them an edge once they get into the playoffs.

It’ll be a close game. One is an up-and-coming star. The other is a veteran hungry to avenge a previous Super Bowl loss. It could easily become an offensive shootout. In that battle, I think the Atlanta Falcons will make just enough plays to get the victory and become Super Bowl champs in 2019.

Super Bowl LIV Final Score: Atlanta Falcons 35, Kansas City Chiefs 31


As I’ve noted before, I tend to be very wrong about predictions this early in the season. Pretty much everyone is wrong at this point. That’s what makes this time of year so exciting. With kickoff slated for later tonight, I am ready! The path to Super Bowl LIV begins now.

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Jack Fisher’s Weekly Quick Pick Comic: House of X #4

In life, there are usually a handful of moments when you can say that you’ve had your finest hour. Whether it’s winning a championship, finding the love of your life, or winning a buffalo wing eating contest, those moments are special. They reveal just how good and capable you can be. For the X-Men, “House of X #4” is that moment.

Writer Jonathan Hickman and artist Pepe Larraz have been redefining, revamping, and at times revolutionizing who the X-Men are and what they stand for. As a lifelong X-Men fan who will find any excuse to write about them, I could fill a pool with the tears of joy I’ve shed while reading this series. With “House of X #4,” however, those tears are mixed with a host of other feelings besides joy.

Since it began, House of X has put the X-Men and the entire mutant population in a bold new situation. They’re no longer hiding in fancy mansions, isolated islands, space stations, or hellish dimensions. Hickman has gone heavy on the world-building, turning the living island of Krakoa into a vast, expansive sanctuary for mutants. The results have been both functional and awe-inspiring.

However, building a new world for the mutants of the Marvel universe is just part of the story. Protecting their future and preventing their extinction at the hands of Nimrod and the Sentinels are a much larger part. That part of the story is what culminates in “House of X #4.”

It’s not overly elaborate. Hickman doesn’t try to reinvent the nuts and bolts of how the X-Men go about saving the day and their species. He simply raises the stakes while Larraz makes it a visual spectacle. It effectively builds on what was set up through the events of Powers of X and the many lives of Moira MacTaggart.

For once, the X-Men aren’t on the defensive. They’re not the ones caught off-guard by an army of Sentinels or some new mutant-killing menace. They know what’s coming. They know that Mother Mold will give rise to Nimrod and Nimrod will be the end of mutants, humans, and everything in between. Now, they’re in a position to stop it.

They don’t send the B-team for this mission, either. They throw the X-Men’s heaviest hitters with Cyclops, Wolverine, Jean Grey, Mystique, Arcangel, and Nightcrawler. They even add in some lesser-known, but still-effective names like Husk and Monet. Their mission is simple, but the logistics are not. It’s an opportunity for the X-Men to be at their best and they take full advantage of it.

The struggle is intense. The battle is dramatic. Larraz’s artwork is simply stunning every step of the way. There’s never a sense that this is a mission from which the X-Men will escape intact, unscarred, and completely triumphant. This isn’t a Saturday morning cartoon or a movie where the good guys have to win outright. This is a battle for the present and future of the X-Men. Battles like that will come at a cost.

There’s definitely a sense that this mission is a suicide mission. There’s no teasing this mission will require heavy sacrifices. That sort of thing has been par for the course with X-Men comics for years, now. After they killed Wolverine for a while, the death of any character become much more trivial.

Making anything count in any comic these days is a challenge. Fans who have been reading the books for more than a few years know that nobody stays dead, nothing remains stable, and Deadpool never shuts up. The key is giving the conflicts weight and substance. In that, Hickman definitely succeeds in “House of X #4.”

The previous issues help establish why the X-Men need to take down Mother Mold. They also establish what happens if they don’t. The past, present, and future are all at stake at the same time and for once, it’s not because someone is abusing a time machine. For any superhero comic, especially an X-Men comic, that’s nothing short of revolutionary.

It all comes down to this single mission. Cyclops takes lead. Wolverine does something incredibly badass. Nightcrawler is astonishingly charming. Jean Grey has a flare for the dramatics. Even Monet gets a chance to cut loose. It’s a dire sequence of events, but one that has depth and meaning.

If someone ever wants to show who the X-Men are and why they’ve resonated so much since the Kennedy Administration, they would be wise to cite “House of X #4.” It doesn’t just depict heroes saving the day. It shows what the X-Men are willing to fight for and sacrifice for the sake of their future.

It’s not just about defeating the villains and winning the day. There are many personal moments in this battle that show the strengths and bonds of each character. Some shine more than others, but they never stray far from what makes them great. The stakes are high, but the characters stay consistent.

At their core, the X-Men are mutants and mutants are human. They’re not these larger-than-life icons in the mold of Superman, Captain America, or Spider-Man. They’re real people who didn’t get their powers by choice or circumstance. They were born that way. They can’t escape who and what they are. They don’t want to, either. They want a future for their kind and those who hate them.

They fight for that future in “House of X #4.” They know what will happen if they lose. There’s no ambiguity in what they do or why they do it. This is just X-Men being the kinds of heroes they need to be when everything is at stake. The story isn’t over, so their finest hour may still be ahead of them. However, the astonishing events of “House of X #4” are going to be very hard to top.

 

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Six Reasons Why Hank Hill Would Be The Perfect Pimp

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Some people have a calling in life and they go to great lengths to pursue it. Not everyone has the opportunity or resources, but those who do show a genuine passion for their calling. Their talents, skills, and work ethic reveal themselves and it nicely reflects the kind of person they are.

For Hank Hill of “King of the Hill,” selling propane and propane accessories is definitely his calling. He pursues it with a passion that few can match, regardless of whether they exist in the real world or animated shows from the early 2000s. It’s a big part of his character and I’ve highlighted on multiple occasions how it reflects concepts ranging from noble masculinity to a good work ethic.

Hank is a rare breed among fictional characters. He doesn’t spend all 13 seasons of his show endlessly driving to achieve his dream job. He already has his dream job. He loves what he does and he dedicates himself to doing well. It’s part of what makes him a respectable, engaging character.

While I don’t deny Hank Hill’s passion for propane and propane accessories, I would also make the argument that the same skills with which he does that job so well also makes him perfectly suited for another job, namely that of a pimp. As it just so happens, it’s a job he briefly did in Season 5, Episode 13, “Ho Yeah!”

Granted, he did that job unknowingly, as Hank can be laughably oblivious at times, but that one episode has always been a personal favorite of mine. In watching it multiple times, it convinced me of something. Hank Hill, armed with the same skills that help him sell propane and propane accessories, would make the perfect pimp.

I know the popular image of pimps is mixed, at best. Some that has more to do with the illegality of prostitution, which I’ve talked about before, but it’s the world’s oldest profession for a reason. Where there are prostitutes, there are also people who manage them. Call them what you want. Pimp just happens to be the most comprehensive in a modern context.

Setting aside the legality of prostitution and the less-than-respectable behavior associated with pimps, I contend that Hank would be able to navigate the world of prostitution and pimping better than almost anyone, fictional or otherwise. He would set a gold standard in how to succeed in this lurid industry in all the right ways for all the right reasons.

What follows are six reasons that I believe prove that Hank Hill would make the perfect pimp. Having seen every episode of “King of the Hill” and researched the sex industry, I’ll try to make my points as effectively as possible. In the spirit of Hank’s dedication to getting the job done, I can do no less.


Reason #1: He Makes Customer Satisfaction A Top Priority

In the context of prostitution, customer satisfaction may seem like an afterthought and for good reason. It’s a service that involves providing intimacy and pleasure to a client in one of the most basic ways possible. Aside from connecting prostitutes with clients, how can a pimp affect this?

This is where Hank’s unceasing dedication to customer service comes in. Throughout many episodes in “King of the Hill,” he puts satisfying the customer first. His approach is simple. If the customer is satisfied, then both the products and the business take care of themselves.

This is wonderfully demonstrated in Season 7, Episode 16, “The Miseducation of Bobby Hill” in which Hank’s customer-oriented sales tactics win out over the less scrupulous approach that Bobby tried. As is often the case, Hank emphasizes doing things the right way and not in the way that’s most expedient.

As a pimp, Hank would definitely emphasis this for those working for him. Just as he tried to do with Bobby, he would preach customer satisfaction over money or expediency. He would tell them not to do the bare minimum. He believes in making sure customers are fully satisfied with their service and then some.

That kind of satisfaction breeds customer loyalty. In any industry, including prostitution, a loyal customer base goes a long way towards success. It’s why companies like Apple can get away with charging extra for their products. They’ve earned their consumer’s loyalty. For Hank, that loyalty is often more valuable than money.


Reason #2: He Commands Loyalty For The Right Reasons

This builds directly off the first reason, but it goes beyond just satisfying the customer. For Hank Hill, loyal customers aren’t just an important component of sales. Loyalty from co-workers and superiors is every bit as important. That loyalty isn’t given to him, either. He earns it, even when the people he works with don’t make it easy for him.

A prostitute working for Hank Hill wouldn’t be expected to give their loyalty by default. He would earn that loyalty by demonstrating how hard he’s willing to work. He would set an example for those around him. That means showing up on time, responding to calls or complaints, and resolving conflicts quickly and effectively.

While the propane industry is very different from the sex industry, I would argue the value of loyalty is much greater in prostitution. One of the key responsibilities of a pimp or manager is to ensure that those around them feel safe, secured, and valued. At no point in any episode of “King of the Hill” does he ever see his fellow employees as cogs in a machine.

He calls people by their first name. He treats them with the same respect that he seeks. For prostitutes, who are more likely to deal with difficult customers than propane salesmen, this kind of dedication is invaluable. They would feel safe and comfortable going to Hank with their issues and feel confident that he could resolve them.

If satisfying the customer is the top priority, then earning the loyalty of employees is a close second. Hank dedicates himself to both. It helped Strickland Propane succeed over the course of 13 seasons. It would serve him well as a pimp.


Reason #3: He Sets High Standards For Employees, Products, And Services

You could accuse Hank Hill a lot of things. He can be uptight, dense, and exceedingly set in his ways. He’ll even get upset when his favorite mower is revamped. However, nobody will ever accuse him of having low standards.

When it comes to his job, Hank sets the bar high for everything. Whether it’s the quality of the grill or the safety of a propane tank, he will never settle for anything sub-standard. Maintaining that quality for both products and services are critical in every industry. Prostitution is no exception.

Hank would not be the kind of pimp who encourages his prostitutes to do the bare minimum. Anyone could get a customer off. He would set his sights higher for both his customers and his prostitutes. He would expect them to go the extra mile with respect to serving the customer and presenting themselves as a competent employee.

He wouldn’t just bark orders, though. In multiple episodes, Hank is shown doing everything from polishing propane tanks to arranging the grills. For his prostitutes, he would make sure that their clothes, their makeup, and whatever accessories they might use are of the highest quality. He would not settle for trashy or dirty. That would be like selling a rusty propane tank.

I imagine some of the prostitutes would be annoyed by such standards, but those who take it seriously would reap the benefits. Those who don’t abide by those standards would either be let go or would never work with him in the first place. Hank is not one to just tell people the right way to do things. He lets the results speak for themselves and most of the time, they prove him right.


Reason #4: He Dedicated Himself To His Work And Maintains A Working Knowledge Of Everything It Involves

To succeed in any industry, it helps to have in-depth knowledge of it. When it comes to propane, you won’t find many people who are as knowledgeable or informed as Hank Hill. He knows propane and propane accessories. It’s not just facts and details, either. His face lights up whenever people talk about it. When something happens in the propane world, he knows about it.

That kind of dedication is just as important in sex work. Most people know how sex works in the same way they know how a grill works. However, only someone as knowledgeable as Hank understands the nuts and bolts to it all. Imagine if someone had the same working knowledge of sex work as Hank does with propane. That kind of expertise would go a long way.

As a pimp truly dedicated to his craft, Hank would understand the workings of successful sex work the same way he does with grills. He would know the difference between an effective tool and a trendy gimmick. For the prostitutes and the clients they serve, it would maintain those high standards he sets.

Beyond just knowing his trade, Hank would go out of his way to educate others. In the show, he never misses an opportunity to tell someone about propane. As a pimp, he would never hesitate to tell an aspiring prostitute how to do their job well. Like any profession, people may think they know what it entails, but someone like Hank would be able to help them see the forest from the trees.


Reason #5: He Treats His Employees Fairly And Goes Out Of His Way To Support Them

Throughout the course of “King of the Hill,” the employees of Strickland Propane rarely change. While most of them are background characters, some distinguish themselves more than others. Some episodes focus entirely on Hank helping them deal with their issues, even when it doesn’t involve their work.

That’s because, as I noted earlier, Hank doesn’t see his employees as cogs in a machine. He treats them like human beings. If they have an issue, he’ll help them as best he can. He’s always honest, transparent, and genuine with them.

Those practices are even more effective as a pimp. Prostitution is an intimate business, in more ways than one. They’re selling more than just a product. They’re selling an experience. Having someone like Hank, who supports them and treats them fairly, would go a long way towards helping them deliver that experience.

Beyond just being there for them, Hank is also someone who understands that work life is work life and personal life is none of his business. He’s not the kind of person who micromanages his employees when they’re off the clock. In fact, he sets clear and unambiguous boundaries about what constitutes work and what constitutes personal affairs.

In an industry where pimps have been known to micromanage prostitutes to an egregious extent, Hank Hill would offer the perfect balance. He would give prostitutes an ability to separate their life as a sex worker from the personal life they’re trying to build. For those looking for a job and not wanting it to define them, this would set Hank apart from other pimps in the best possible way.


Reason #6: He’s Willing To Kick An Ass When It Needs To Be Kicked

I don’t think I need to make an elaborate argument for this reason. Hank Hill’s ability and willingness to kick ass is well documented throughout the show. Generally, he avoids confrontations, but he will kick an ass when it needs to be kicked. He even proved that in “Ho Yeah!” when he took on another pimp who dared to challenge him. Needlessly to say, Hank won.

As dedicated as Hank is to serving customers and helping employees, he has a limit to how much bullshit he’ll endure. If someone dares cross a certain threshold, he won’t hesitate to respond. If someone disrespects one of his prostitutes or even his loyal customers, he won’t hold back. He’ll kick all the asses that need kicking.

For his prostitutes, it only deepens that loyalty he so values. Even other clients could appreciate that. Hank Hill may be uptight and uncompromising, but he doesn’t give a pass to people who cross lines that shouldn’t be crossed. He will kick ass and he’ll make sure he kicks the right ones.


There are probably many other reasons why Hank Hill would make a great pimp. If you have a few I didn’t mention, please share them in the comments. Hank is a great character and “King of the Hill” did plenty to show why he’s so compelling.

Even though his pimping potential may never be realized, but even Tammi, the secret prostitute at the center of the “Ho Yeah!” episode, told him outright that he would be a great pimp. I just don’t think she realized how right she was.

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