Tag Archives: sexual kinks

Daily Sexy Musing: First Time Frisking

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The first time you do anything, you can’t expect to be good at it. No matter how talented you are, it’s still going to be as awkward as it is exciting. The same applies to all things sexy. In fact, I would argue that the awkwardness and excitement is magnified tenfold. That’s part of what makes those first frisky moments we share so memorable.

I certainly remember the first time I got frisky with a significant other. She and I were restless, alone, and watching reruns of old X-Men cartoons. It also happened to be the holidays so we were really in the spirit, so to speak. I don’t remember the exact moment when our hands slipped under our shirts, but it was a fun moment for all the right reasons.

It can certainly get more intense than that. From the first time you share a kiss with your lover to the first time you see each other naked, those moments are going to stand out, regardless of whether you break up or go onto get married. Even if it’s a less-than-pleasant experience, it’ll resonate on so many levels. It’s part of what makes intimacy so powerful.

This Daily Sexy Musing is my attempt to take those powerful moments and put them into a larger context. It’s not just about that epic first kiss. It’s not just about that first time two peoples’ genitals interact. There are many other passions at work and they’re definitely worth exploring.

I’ve thought about it.

I’ve dreamed about it.

I’ve hoped, wondered, and pined about it.

Finally, I can stop imagining.

We’ve followed our passions thus far. From the first gaze we exchanged to the last embrace we shared, we’ve already beaten the odds. I’ve proven myself as worthy of your affection. You’ve proven to me that these feelings are real.

I want you.

You want me.

Together, we want whatever our passions incur.

It’s no longer enough to just share words and gestures. I’ve caressed your face and tasted your lips. You’ve held my hand and felt my warmth. Now, I seek something more intimate. Being around you makes my heart race and my clothes itchy. To know you and love you, we must take another critical step.

We find a private area. Every possible distraction is removed or muted. As the moment builds, my knees grow week and my skin becomes hot. I know what I desire, but I’m nervous to embrace it. I can feel you trembling with the same anxiety, knowing that this will be our first time. After, there can never be another.

For the briefest of instants, I question whether we’re ready. My body restrains my heart, reminding me of just how big a moment this is. I understand the weight of the feeling, but I do not pull back. In your eyes, I see another eager soul yearning to capture this moment.

Finally, we shed our clothes.

Finally, we touch once-forbidding parts of flesh.

Finally, we get our first taste of one another’s love.

Reservation turns to exhilaration. Our hearts race together, but not out of dread or fear. For the first time, we feel one another in a deeply intimate way. There are no more barriers to our passions. For the first time, we unleash the breadth of our passions.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Drunk Love

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When it comes to matters of love and sex, alcohol has a mixed reputation. On one hand, it lowers our inhibitions and makes us more willing to pursue feelings that we wouldn’t have pursued. On the other, it can really hinder the actual mechanics of intimacy. Anyone who has tried to kiss someone while drunk knows that all too well.

In college, I saw many cases of alcohol both helping and hindering various acts of romance. I’ve watched a couple do shots and have the best time together at a club. I’ve also seen people do just as many shots and fall over one another in a very unromantic way. It’s a mixed bag, but like any tool, it depends on how it’s used.

As someone who didn’t start drinking until much later in life, I can appreciate how alcohol helps us navigate the various social processes that often come with romance. It doesn’t just loosen inhibitions. It frees our words, so to speak. It allows us to be more upfront than we otherwise would and I think that valuable in any romantic pursuit, especially those with poor social skills.

Others may have had bad experiences with alcohol and not just in terms of their love lives. I understand that and this Daily Sexy Musing may not work for them. For those who have found a way to incorporate the effects of alcohol into a healthy, sexy relationship, I think we’ll be on the same page. Like anything, you can overdo it. When you strike a healthy balance, though, the benefits are as remarkable as they are sexy.

A can of beer.

A glass of wine.

A shot of whiskey.

A bottle of vodka.

Whatever form it takes, we gleefully imbibe. That hot, burning sensations in our throats warns us what we’re in for. Nerves will be dampened and inhibitions will be lost. We take on those risks in hopes of reaping greater rewards. There may be pain and discomfort later, but with every drink, we embrace the here and now.

I feel my tongue loosen.

I feel your body open.

I feel our souls reveal themselves as the effects take hold.

We laugh, cheer, and dance. Everything starts to spin. It’s no longer possible to scrutinize every passing moment. For once, rules and propriety cannot keep us bound. I won’t apologize for feeling good, nor will I hesitate to share that experience with others. When others scorn, I just take another drink.

Every sip is an affront to a world intent on containing our passions. A lurid smile and playful grasp spits on the foundations of civilization. Rather than build and toil, we cheer and celebrate. We step away from our duties, defy our overlords, and live life on our terms. A drink may start as an excuse, but it soon becomes a catalyst.

The price we pay later goes up, but the feelings we embrace in the moment gain value. Through slurred speech and blissful daze, we are free and unbound. Everything becomes possible. Everyone becomes a new connection. For once, the life we live is our own.

With every drink, we turn restraint and to revelry.

With every drink, we turn deviance into decadence.

With every drink, we turn distress into catharsis.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Under A Soft Blanket

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When it comes to romantic settings, there are any number of tools and setups you can use to make a hot moment even hotter. Some are more elaborate than others. There’s the traditional candle-lit love den, complete with rose petals on the bed and overpriced massage oil on the dresser. Then, there are the elaborate BDSM dungeons that helped make “50 Shades of Grey” famous.

As fun as those can be, I’m of the opinion that to make any romantic setting work, you need to start with the most basic units. One of the most basic and under-appreciated tools for a romantic moment involves blankets. Specifically, it involves the kind of soft, comfortable blankets that feel so good on your skin that it’s like being hugged by a dozen puppies.

Now, I get that when the passion is right, you can make love on anywhere, be it a dirty mattress or blankets with the consistency of sandpaper. However, I also believe that the presence of soft, clean, premium quality blankets can add something to those moments that’s easy to appreciate. They often cost a little extra, but you can’t put a price on things that feel great on naked skin.

If I were to give any couple advice on how to make things a little sexier without getting too elaborate, I would urge them to invest in some soft, high-quality blankets. I’ve yet to come across someone who has regretted taking that advice. I hope this Daily Sexy Musing should help further sell eager lovers on the idea.

It feels so soft, from head to toe.

It covers me complete, body and soul.

It warms my flesh, among other things.

A big, soft blanket invites us into its embrace and we gladly accept. Whether it’s hot or cold, the weather is always right for gentle comfort. We spend much of our day enduring harsh elements, ignoring distress while savoring passing moments of joy. Now, under a soft blanket, the roles are reversed.

Comfort is everywhere.

Bliss is abundant.

Passion comes easy.

Alone, it brings relief and consolation. With you, however, it’s a catalyst for something more. In a world so gentle and calm, it’s easy for love to blossom. There’s no struggle to overcome or obstacles in our path. Under a warm blanket, we are shielded from the abrasive forces that distract our more intimate pursuits.

In this protective warmth, clothes become unnecessary. Strain of every kind disappears. The stresses that kept us from enjoying and celebrating our love fade into obscurity. We shed trivial burdens and explore without care or concern. In this world of soft surroundings, touch gains greater meaning.

A simple caress becomes a deep embrace.

A small peck becomes a passionate kiss.

A light stroke becomes a tender grasp.

A simple statement becomes a loving proclamation.

Atop a soft blanket, we lay upon the strongest of foundations for our love. Within it, we’re embraced by the best kind of warmth. In a world so harsh, something soft can soothe many wounds. For a strong love, it can blossom into something far greater.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Bad Days Made Good

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We all have bad days. They’re part of life. Even if you’re a rich supermodel living in a mansion with servants and maids, you’re going to have one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. You feel like crap, you can’t get anything done, and you just want to punch something to vent your frustration.

I’ve certainly had days like that and not all of them occurred in high school, although they did seem to happen more often back then. The hardest part is getting through those days, but the second hardest could be turning them around. That’s where having a good lover comes in. I would even argue that it’s the bad days that help reveal just how good a lover you have.

Back in college, I had a string of awful days that made me want to bang my head against the wall every other minute. Then, towards the end when I was ready to give up, I had a quick chat with my girlfriend at the time. I won’t reveal what she said or how she said it. I’ll just say that she made me smile in a way that helped me forget the past few days.

That kind of love and support is powerful. We don’t always appreciate it until we have a few bad days, but that’s exactly why it’s so critical. A good lover can’t always turn a bad day into a good day, but they can make it feel less agonizing and not just by doing something sexy.

It’s a given that we will all have bad days at some point. There’s only so much we can do to prepare, but it’ll usually be our lovers that help make those days worth enduring. This Daily Sexy Musing is a testament to just how great a day we can have when our lover is there for us at our worst moments. Enjoy!

I’m angry.

I’m depressed.

I’m tired.

I’m drained of everything that’s supposed to make life enjoyable.

Thoughts and feelings of misery and frustration follow me with every step. It’s an open wound, festering every second of every minute. I’ve given up seeking relief. I just want to run away, hide, and shut down. If the world won’t leave me alone, I’ll gladly leave it behind.

However, you won’t let me. You love me too damn much.

Before I can venture into the nearest personal pit, you confront me. At first, I see an obstacle. Then, you remind me that you’re so much more. You’re someone who cares when I’m sad. What I feel, you feel as well. We gladly share in the joys and elation we give one another. It’s only when hardship finds us that we realize just how deep our love goes.

I don’t want you to know that feeling. Distraught or not, the last thing I want to do is heap that pain upon you. You don’t deserve it and I’ve no desire to put it upon you. Even so, you don’t let me bear that burden on my own.

You come to me.

You embrace me.

You soothe me with your loving touch.

We spend so much time and energy avoiding the things that make us unhappy. Like darkness and distress, it naturally repulses us. To willingly approach such unpleasant things requires something greater than bravery. In you, I don’t just see it. I feel it in your caring warmth.

Our love tempers the burning rage.

Our love heals the gaping wounds.

Our love calms the restless mind.

Together, we venture into the worst domains of our souls. In those dark corners, our deepest flaws show alongside our greatest weaknesses. From these depths, we emerge with stronger hearts and brighter spirits.

In that feeling, I can say without hesitation that today was a good day.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Doctors And Nurses

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Some sexy fantasies are so common that we don’t scrutinize them anymore. It’s not just because porn, chick flicks, and erotica/romance novels, some of which I wrote, often utilize them to get peoples’ blood flowing in all the right directions, either. They’re so prevalent that we assume the appeal is inherent. We don’t really give it much thought beyond that.

Chief among those kinds of fantasies involve doctors and nurses. Talk to most straight men and they’ll perk up a bit when describing a sexy nurse. Talk to most straight women and they’ll get a little excited when describing a tall, handsome, deep-voiced doctor. Whether it involves a stripper costume or George Clooney, there’s a great deal of sexiness associated with those in the medical field.

A sexy nurse and a sexy doctor aren’t just people who make wearing a stethoscope sexy. These are people who help us when we’re at our most vulnerable. When we’re sick, all the strength and reliance that carries us through the day takes a hit. We have to rely on someone else to help us. That’s rarely a good feeling, but doctors and nurses do more than most to help make us better.

They don’t just heal us. They care for us in an intimate way. They understand the workings of the human body and how to treat it. There’s something inherently sensual about that. Looking like George Clooney helps, but just being someone will comfort and heal your wounded body is enough to inspire any number of fantasies.

This Daily Sexy Musing isn’t just a tribute to the George Clooneys or Dr. House’s of our collective fantasy. It’s a deeper insight into the thoughts and desires that inspire such fantasies in the first place. Being sick is awful, but the fact it can inspire such a common fantasy is a testament to just how sexy doctors and nurses can be.

I feel awful. Everything aches. My body is failing me. Nothing I do helps. I’m so weak and frail. It’s like I’m withering from the inside out. Neither strength nor will is enough. I need help. I need your healing touch.

You brave my wounded presence.

You endure my distressed disposition.

You share your strength with me.

You use your special knowledge, wisdom, and skill.

From where I lay, you are an angel. You come to me in my time of need, not needing prayer or sacrifice. The cries of the sick are your siren’s song. You comfort the weak and console wounded. I place great trust in you and that trust is rewarded.

Over time, my strength returns to me. Thanks to your special expertise, I am healed. My spirit regains its fire. The body that failed me is working once more. However, you did something special to me when you healed it. Specifically, you left an indelible mark on my heart.

You’re still my angel.

You’re still my renewed spirit.

You’re still the strength that I regained.

In you, I see more than one who heals the sick. I am in awe, both of your skill and how you choose to use it. Around the weak, you share your strength. You confront the illness, rather than recoil from it. I gave you such power over me, trusting you to use it to make me whole. You used that power wisely. My awe only grows.

To my healer, I am eternally grateful.

To the one behind the medicine, you mean more to me than your knowledge.

Whatever uniform you wear or tools you use, I see a gift and a spirit that makes any soul beautiful. Like any beauty, I am drawn to it. Unlike most beauty, I owe it my life. From my weakest to my strongest, I give myself to you. Once again, I trust in your healing touch.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Party Time

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Who doesn’t enjoy a good party? Even if you don’t consider yourself a social person by nature, there’s no denying that a fun, festive gathering has a way of boosting everyone’s spirit. Why else would New Years, Mardi Gras, and bachelor/bachelorette parties be so popular?

I say that as someone who, at one point, was not a party person. In my defense, I was a socially-awkward teenager with a terrible acne problem and no dancing skills. For me, going to a party was like going to the dentist. I only went because I had to. I couldn’t enjoy it. I could only endure it. Over time, that changed.

Between college breaking me out of my shell and several weddings that helped me refine my partying skills, I came to appreciate what a good party brings to the table. I also came to appreciate the unique sex appeal it can create. I’m not just talking about bachelor/bachelorette parties either. Even a casual gathering can take on a uniquely intimate feel.

A good party will get people moving, draw people together, and maybe even get some sexy sparks flying. It’s one of those primal forces that brings people together. While there is real science behind they psychology good party, you don’t need to know the particulars to have fun. For this Daily Sexy Musing, I’m just going to focus on the fun stuff and all the sexy undertones that come with it.

There’s loud music playing.

There’s alcohol available at every turn.

There’s bodies moving, closely and intimately.

There’s a mood in the air, growing more intense with every passing second.

I feel it. I know you feel it too. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. We just stop trying to put what we feel into words and let our bodies do the talking. It’s exhilarating, but honest. I can say so much to myself and others, just by being in the middle of such controlled chaos. For once, I understand what I need and want. The only question is who shares those feelings with me?

In the midst of revelry and inhibition, I forget why there’s a party in the first place. I sense others have since forgotten as well. Time, space, and memory quickly lose meaning. All that we know is in the present. All that we want and seek is nearby. We need only embrace it.

I abandon my restraint and cut loose.

I move erratically and intimately around a sea of total strangers.

I tell the world that I’m having fun and I don’t care who knows it.

It’s not my true self, nor is it a lie either. In this festive moment, I am who I’ve always been, but at my most free. I wear every passion on my sleeve. I don’t hesitate to reach out and share myself with others. I am what I need to be, for myself and others. Whoever shares that need is welcome to join me.

In the spirit of the party, I am my greatest champion.

In the heat of the moment, I am as open as I’ll ever be.

In the ambiance that surrounds us, I am what I hope to be.

This is the best possible moment for you to approach me. Within this feeling lays the greatest opportunity to make that intimate connection. Through the noise, the music, the cheering, and the festivities, I give myself to the world. I am ready and eager to love. That, more than anything, is worth celebrating.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Friends And Benefits

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I’ve always found the concept of friends with benefits to be a complicated way of confronting a simple situation. People get horny. Not everyone has romantic chemistry, but they still have sexual chemistry. Even as a romance fan, I don’t deny that. For some, it is possible to want to have sex with someone, but not be in love with them.

Sex and intimacy are basic human needs. I feel like friends with benefits is a byproduct of a modern world where people are free to be individuals, but aren’t always equipped to navigate the emotional landscape around them. Our culture places a high value on true love and monogamy, but is less inclined these to get in the way of people pursuing other sexual arrangements.

In some cases, it triggers a moral panic that terrifies parents and frustrates teachers. In others, it inspires a couple of sub-par romantic movies. This erratic approach to the concept of friends with benefits makes it difficult to explore. It can ruin friendships forever or blossom into a romance that lasts a lifetime. The outcome varies wildly from couple to couple.

Erratic or not, there’s still a unique sex appeal that emerges through friends with benefits. Even if you subtract the romance, it still has more depth than a one-night stand or a drunken hook-up. I believe that depth can have greater meaning beyond the sex itself. This Daily Sexy Musing is my way of delving into that meaning. Enjoy!

You are my friend.

You are my lover.

You aren’t my soul mate.

You aren’t my true love.

Even so, I come to you when I need an intimate embrace. You are there for me, just as I am there for you. There’s no elaborate display or romantic gesture. There’s just two people, coming together and seeking relief. It’s a beautiful thing, but only to a point. There is purpose, but with limited potential.

There’s a time for friends and there’s a time for love. With us, we can only have one, but not the other. A friend will listen and console you. There is love, but not the kind that fosters romance. To be with someone is not the same as just being around them. I can’t be with you, but I can be there for you.

Being there means giving a part of ourselves.

Being there means offering comfort.

Being there means being close without being in love.

It’s in those moments when a friend can offer more without being a lover. They can touch you, hold you, and caress you until that primal need is filled. It’s so simple and basic, intimate touch coupled with a sweet release. It gives us moments of bliss mixed with moments of contentment. We may not have love, but we still have each other.

For now, that’s all we need. It’s the most we can offer. It doesn’t fulfill every desire, but it’s enough to keep our hearts intact. We can still find love, even if it’s not with each other. That time will come. We’ll both be ready for it. Until then, this will do.

We are still friends.

We are still lovers.

We cherish the benefits.

We cherish each other.

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