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Daily Sexy Musings: Underneath Our Clothes

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The following are some of my sexy musings to help start your day, among other things. Enjoy!

We’re all naked underneath our clothes. Thin layers of fabric separate modesty from obscenity. We go outside every day, knowing that our most private areas are protected only by the attire we choose. We never give it a second thought, but we cover ourselves, as though exposure will bring us irreparable harm.

We come out of the womb blissfully unaware of all taboos. We simply seek warmth from the elements and nothing more. There is purpose to covering ourselves, but it gets lost as we grow into a world afraid of its own reflection, aghast at what the sight of our bodies may evoke. Is it out of fear? Is it out of uncertainty as to how we’ll react? We don’t know, but we never bother to ask.

Perhaps it’s because it makes us horny, wanting sensual experiences that go beyond what society deems appropriate.

Perhaps it’s because it makes us complacent, realizing that every person is equally vulnerable at the end of the day. No matter their race, creed, wealth, or status, they are as frail as any animal in the wild.

Perhaps it’s because it reminds us that we are conditioned to avert our eyes, avoiding vanity and the thoughts that go with it. There is danger in self-obsession, large and small. How are we to function when we are too captivated by our own beauty?

At the end of every day, we are still naked. Our skin, genitals and all, are there for us to see. We cannot avoid them. We can only make excuses, but never valid reasons. The mirror still reveals everything, unfiltered and unobscured. Dread it or embrace it. One will bring acceptance. The other will only bring more excuses.

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Snowy, Cooped Up, And Nudity

What happens when you’re snowed in, cooped up, and have a tendency to go a little nuts when you’re left alone for too long? That’s not a rhetorical question, by the way. I ask because that’s exactly the situation I find myself in today.

See that picture above? That’s the weather forecast for the northeast United States. You see that dark purple area in the center, indicating the heaviest snowfall? That’s where I am. That’s what I have to deal with for today and possibly the next several days.

Now this can be a good thing in some respects. When I get snowed in, I generally have more time to work on my writing. I do have some upcoming blog posts, as well as some other projects I’ve been working on. However, those only go so far for a guy like me. I’m not the kind of person who functions well being cooped up for too long.

By that, I mean I have a tendency to go a little nuts when I’m alone. By go a little nuts, I mean I often turn up the heat, get naked, open a bottle of whiskey, and generally wing it from there. Sometimes that involves playing music no on has liked since 1999. Sometimes that involves binge-watching every X-men movie ever made. I’m not saying it’s healthy. I’m just saying it’s how I cope.

I’ve made my fondness for nudity fairly clear. I sleep naked. If I can do something naked, I generally jump at the chance. I know it seems counter-intuitive in the winter during a snowstorm, but it works for me. It’ll get me through this storm and the inevitable mental strain that comes with being cooped up. It always has.

For everyone else effected by this storm, I won’t recommend my methods. I won’t discourage them either. If whisky and nudity isn’t enough, then try reading some of my novels to help warm you up. There’s “The Escort and the Gigolo,” which takes place in sunny Las Vegas. There’s “The Secrets of Sadfur Island,” which takes place on a tropical island. Then, there’s “The Final Communion,” which involves a lot of hot group sex.

If these don’t warm you up, then nothing will. So for now, wish me luck in staying sane and/or fully clothed for the duration of this storm. To everyone else on the east coast, hunker down and stay warm. If you’re lucky enough to have a lover with you, use this as a chance to keep each other warm. It’ll make being snowed in that much more bearable.

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Staying Sexy In Winter (It IS Possibe)

Christmas is over. The holidays are drawing to a close. Many today are still fighting off hangovers from excessive eggnog, whiskey, and fruit juice spiked with vodka. If you party like my family does, you may be fighting off a combination of all three. If that is the case, I commend you. You are molded from stronger stuff.

As much fun as the holidays are, they do signal something else besides hangovers. The holidays, at least in this part of the world, signal the first stage of a long, cold winter. For those of us who don’t live in a tropical climate where it’s possible to wear a bikini to a Christmas party without risking hypothermia, the end of the holidays marks the end of the excuses we give ourselves to tolerate this time of year.

It’s winter now. It’s going to be cold. You can’t be all that sexy when it’s this cold. Being an erotica/romance writer, that’s kind of a problem. I sort of need to maintain a sexy sort of spirit in order to continue my work. I have a lot of ideas for novels. I have a lot of romantic/erotic concepts I want to explore. That’s going to be a challenge when I’m wearing several layers of clothes, sipping hot chocolate spiked with whiskey, and trying desperately to keep my balls from freezing.

Now I’m not saying I live in a part of the country that freezes over every winter. However, I do live in a part where it’s uncomfortably common to have to dig my car out of a big snow bank at least once a year. It’s not nearly as fun as it sounds. Kids may love snow days, but once they have to start digging their shit out of snow, it loses a lot of its appeal.

So how do I handle it? How do I keep things sexy in the winter time when walking around my house naked is a bit less practical? Well, I do have a few tips. In the spirit of recovering from holiday hangovers and helping others prepare for a long winter, here are some of Jack Fisher’s winter survival tips for those who want to keep things sexy.

  • Always keep hot chocolate and wine handy, as there are few situations that can’t be made sexy with the right drink
  • Take regular hot baths, with a heavy emphasis on candles and bubbles to make for a steamy, sudsy environment
  • Wear colorful coats and scarfs, as color can let the world know that cold can’t stop you from being sexy
  • Just because you have to wear layers doesn’t mean you have to wear them on every part of your body
  • A sweatshirt and no pants will keep you warm and keep you sexy
  • For men, use this opportunity to grow a thick, manly beard to emphasize the scope of your manliness
  • For women, use this opportunity to style your hair and your nails in a way that’ll keep you warm and sexy
  • Find a way to exercise and work up a sweat, if only to remind your body the importance of exerting itself in just the right ways
  • Warm soups go well with a movie, especially those with heavy action and graphic nudity
  • If you have a fireplace, use it and make love near it at least once during a snowstorm
  • If you don’t have a fireplace, use your TV to stream a crackling fireplace to create a similar ambience (it won’t keep you warm, but lovemaking will)

These are just some of the tips I have to offer. If anyone has others they’d like to tac on, please let me know in the comments. I think we could all use a little help getting through the long, cold winter. With the holidays over, it’s just a matter of counting down the days until we can wear bikinis and speedos again. Like the holidays though, those days will come before we know it.

For the record, though, the cold weather will not stop me from sleeping naked. I don’t care how cold it gets or how many blankets I need to pile on top of my bed. I will not give that up.

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Why People Sext (According To Dilbert)

Every generation does something unusually kinky that horrifies the older, more uptight generation that has spent considerable energy hiding from their kids that they once wore bell-bottoms and danced to disco music. I don’t deny my generation did some kinky things, many of which still play out in music videos, but I try to keep things in context.

For that very reason, a context for “sexting,” also known as the sending of dick pics and tit shots, still baffles me to some degree. Maybe it’s a sign I’m getting older. I’m in my 30s now. I can’t claim to be young, dumb, and inexperienced anymore. Being on this planet for 30 years gives me too much experience to have excuses.

Regardless of whether or not I’m becoming and old fart, sexting is a thing. According to a 2012 study in “Computers and Human Behavior,” over half of a sample size of young college-age students had engaged in sexting in some forms. Over half of any population means it’s not a fringe behavior. This is happening and it’s becoming common to a degree that’s dangerously close to what bell-bottoms were in the 70s.

So why do people do it? Why is exchanging sexy pictures a thing? Granted, there have been some legal issues involving sexting, but most of those cases involve individuals who are underage. Some involve exploitation and coercion. That’s an actual crime, right up there with forcing someone to wear bunny pajamas to a Rob Zombie concert.

This isn’t like smoking crack. As far as the law is concerned, it is legal to willingly exchange naked pictures of yourself. Just make damn sure the participants have been on this planet long enough to exceed the arbitrary threshold of adulthood that society imposes.

So why do we do it? What’s the appeal? To me, a guy in his 30s with an internet connection and a love of writing erotica/romance, it just doesn’t make sense to me. The internet has an almost infinite number of boobs and dicks on it. It’s really not necessary to persuade someone else to send you pictures of their bodies. A simple Google search is really all you need.

I liken it to being at a fancy restaurant and ordering a steak. However, instead of bringing you a stake, the waiter brings you a picture of a steak. It still looks good. It still looks appetizing. It’s still a fucking picture though. It’s not going to fill the same need.

I personally have never sent someone a picture of my penis. Instead, I just show them how long my ring finger is, which is a more subtle way of letting someone know you have a generous endowment. If I find a lover who is into sexting, I’ll probably feel different. For now though, I’m still confused.

Thankfully, others have thought about this so I don’t have to. Scott Adams, the creator of the famed comic strip, Dilbert, has a knack for making sense of absurdities that have little to no rational explanation. His wry sense of humor has inspired me a great deal in recent years. It has also helped me shape the course of this blog.

The writings of Scott Adams, as well as his hilarious Dilbert cartoons, have helped inspire the phenomenon of “caveman logic” that I’m so fond of citing. Most recently, I read his book, “How to Fail at Everything and Still Win Big.” It was the most fun I’ve had reading a book that didn’t involve graphic depictions of female anatomy.

As such, when Scott Adams has something to say about sexting, I tend to listen. Last week, he did an article called, “D*ck Pics Explained.” Naturally, it got my interest and not just because it made me think about my own penis. Here’s the main crux of his interpretation:

Our sex drive is so strong that it largely eliminates the option for rational behavior. And as you know, the hornier you get, the stupider you are. Once a guy reaches a critical level of horniness, his rational brain shuts off and he becomes primal. And when he’s primal, he sometimes signals his availability for mating in the most basic way possible: He displays his junk in full preparedness.

If you think the men doing this behavior are extra-dumb, or extra-rude, that might be true. But it is just as likely that such men are extra-horny. That gets you to the same decision no matter your IQ because the rational brain is shut down during maximum arousal.

It is also true – as far as I can tell from discussions with women over the years – that sometimes a dick pic actually results in dating and sex. I realize how hard that is to believe. But sometimes (maybe one time in 500) it actually works. You would think those odds would be enough to discourage even a man with a temporarily suspended intellect, but that view ignores the basic nature of men: We’re risk takers when it comes to reproduction.

Okay, now I can understand it to some extent. I understand why sexting is still a thing. I’m a fairly healthy man and I can say without reservation or shame that I’ve been at that critical level of horniess before. It has led me to do or contemplate things that makes my brain want to kick my ass. It’s never gotten me into too much trouble, but it has led to some awkward situations that I prefer not to describe.

This interpretation is part of what Scott Adams calls the “Moist Robot Hypothesis.” It’s basically the idea that human brains are like robots, but they’re moist and fungible. Granted, they can’t be programmed as easily as a non-moist robot, but it can be hacked to some degree. In fact, the internet is full of brain hacks to exploit, which says a lot about the sub-par programming of our brains.

Flawed or not, the hypothesis is similar to caveman logic. It emphasizes the fact that we humans have two biological imperatives: survival and reproduction. Rational thought and a clear understanding of reality don’t always jive with those imperatives. That’s why critically horny men and women are prone to doing stupid things.

I’m not nearly as smart or as successful as Scott Adams, but I am working on that success. As such, I hope he’ll forgive me if I tack something onto his assessment. I agree in large part with his explanation for sexting. However, I would add another layer to it and it’s an extension of both caveman logic and the Moist Robot Hypothesis.

Due to our biological imperatives, which are at the forefront of our brain’s programming, there’s also a powerful need to adapt. Adaptation is a basic part of evolution for all creatures, be they human or pond scum. Think of it this way:

  • Does wearing tie-dye T-shirts and listening to Bob Dylan increase your chances of having sex? Then chances are, you’ll adapt accordingly.
  • Does wearing bell-bottoms and listening to disco music increase your chances of having sex? Then chances are, you’ll adapt accordingly.
  • Does sending naked pictures of yourself to a lover increase your chances of having sex? Then chances are, you’ll adapt accordingly.

See a pattern here? Notice how I didn’t mention the degree to which your chances of having sex will increase. It can be exceedingly small, but so long as it’s more than zero, that’s enough reason to adapt your behavior and conduct accordingly.

There’s another factor in play that inspires adaptation. That involves distance and technology. Thanks to the growth and prevalence of instant communication, long-distance relationships are a bit more viable.

I know this from personal experience because I met one of my ex-girlfriends online and a lot of our relationship was long-distance. Were it not for Skype and email, we never would’ve found each other and she never would’ve taken me on a memorable trip to Victoria’s Secret.

In this context, sexting can be seen as an adaptation of sorts and one that’s become more necessary to some extent. According to the Journal of Applied Communications Research, between a quarter and half of all relationships among college students are long distance. Naturally, college students are still going to get horny, regardless of distance. Their caveman brains/moist robot brains will require them to adapt.

This capacity for adaptation shows just how creative we humans can be when it comes to fulfilling our biological imperatives. In evolutionary terms, we’re no different from our caveman ancestors. We’re still wired to eat, hump, and survive. We just change our tactics in accord to our circumstances and adapt accordingly.

At the moment, some are adapting to new technology and distant connections by sending naked pictures of themselves. It’s not necessarily a logical adaptation, but since when does logic apply when you’re horny?

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One More Thought on Nudity

I know I’ve spent the past few days focusing a lot on nudity in my post. In my defense, it’s the middle of August and it’s very hot. Being naked is more pragmatic than usual in these conditions. However, I’ve gotten such a positive response from my discussions on nudity that I feel I need to add one more tidbit before I switch to another topic.

I’ve discussed how I, a humble erotica writer, enjoy sleeping in the buff. I’ve also touched on the health benefits of being naked. I’ve even encouraged others to ditch the clothes and enjoy the warm summer air on their skin. Then, I remembered that we live in a society that’s still frustratingly erratic when it comes to our views of nudity. All it takes is one person offending some other person with a good lawyer to cause problems. So for legal reasons, I’d like this post to act as a disclaimer of sorts.

It’s true. Not every society views nudity the same way. As I recently pointed out from my own vacation, New York City’s laws on public nudity are somewhat lax. It’s legal to be topless in New York and the cops generally don’t care if you wear crazy sexy shit in public, so long as you’re not actively humping someone in broad daylight. A quick search of the database at HG.org, a comprehensive legal database for anyone in need of a lawyer, shows that every state has different laws regarding nudity. In some cases, it’s a misdemeanor on part with a parking ticket. In others, it’s a full-blown felony.

Now it’s worth noting that some of these laws aren’t strictly enforced. They’re more like stop signs in that people generally follow them, but others flat out ignore them and don’t really get penalized unless they do it in front of a cop. If you’re not hurting anyone or trying to actively harass someone, you’re probably not going to get into too much trouble. I should point out that probably is not the same as definitely.

It’s also worth noting that there are parts of the country that are exceedingly prudish when it comes to nudity laws. I won’t name names, but some of these areas still have anti-fornication laws on the books that they refuse to remove. That should give you some idea of the kind of culture we’re dealing with here. Those areas are the way they are for a reason and it’s best not to belabor it. Eventually, prudishness has a way of fading once younger people get too tired and/or too horny to embrace it.

So where can you go in order to safely enjoy being naked? There are a few places where nudity isn’t just permitted. It’s part of the culture there. It’s embraced and celebrated. If I ever become a successful erotica writer, I’d like to visit some of these places and partake in the festivities. Until then, here’s a video from The Richest that should act as a nudist travel guide.

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Why The World Needs More Nudity

Yesterday, I confessed to the world that I, Jack Fisher, sleep naked and love it. I praised the joys and even highlighted the benefits. I even got a few generous commenters to express support for my nude sleeping preferences. To those commenters, I thank you and I hope you get a chance to experience those joys as well.

After writing that post, it also got me thinking. If sleeping naked offers so many benefits, then does that mean there are other benefits to being naked in general? Using the same caveman logic I used yesterday, it seems logical. Our bodies evolved on the African savanna. It’s very hot in the African savanna, which means wearing a lot of clothes isn’t all that practical. So for our species to survive, we had to evolve some benefits to walking around in the buff.

However, caveman logic alone isn’t enough. It also doesn’t explain why there is so much taboo surrounding nudity. We all see it in most forms of popular media. There are movies, TV shows, and music videos where people shoot, stab, and bludgeon each other horribly. This is all fine, but showing a female nipple? That’s somehow so horrific that it traumatizes society as a whole. That’s why Janet Jackson’s infamous wardrobe malfunction during the Super Bowl XXXVIII half-time show caused society to crumble as millions of people were traumatized.

Oh wait, that didn’t happened. Society didn’t crumble. A generation of children wasn’t traumatized. It’s almost as if human beings aren’t biologically programmed to faint in terror at the sight of their own physiology. What a radical concept, right?

So why are “wardrobe malfunctions” a thing? Why is the sight of a female nipple or an exposed penis so horrific for some people? Well, that’s difficult to answer. It is fairly well-documented that America’s approach to sexuality is downright schizophrenic at times. America loves to champion freedom, but goes out of its way to shame or inhibit sexual expression. Tech Times did a nice job of highlighting some of America’s odd prudishness on the internet, despite being the home of the biggest porn industries in the world.

It is an odd quirk of western culture in general, claiming to promote freedom while clinging to prudish attitudes towards sex. Some of this probably stems from outdated cultural practices meant to stem excessive promiscuity. As I’ve discussed before in previous blog posts, western property-owning societies did have a logistical reason for discouraging promiscuity because it undermined the transfer of property and spread disease. Many of those reasons are no longer valid, thanks to advances in technology and medicine. That still doesn’t stop people from clinging to these concepts.

Most people these days don’t claim that exposed female breasts alone will traumatize children. If not, they should take a trip to New York City. There are women on the streets standing around topless, in front of families and children, and nobody is traumatized. Even children have some innate understanding that naked bodies are not disgusting. It’s the adults of the world that want us to believe as such.

As a result, we get entire societies and cultures promoting modesty as a high virtue. We especially see this in the Middle East where there’s this assumption that men can’t control themselves at the sight of a naked woman. As a man, I find this extremely offensive. I’ve seen many naked women before in non-intimate settings. It really wasn’t that hard to control myself. If I, a writer of erotic fiction, can do so, then how can anyone else claim otherwise?

We evolved to be naked. We’re all naked underneath our clothes. Get over it. There are a great many joys to being naked. There are also many health benefits, thanks once again to the wonders of caveman logic. Today.com even did a nice write-up on the benefits of being naked. It’s good for your skin, it improves your mood, and it increases Vitamin D levels in your body. So for the good of your health, ditch the clothes and embrace its naked glory!

If you still need more proof, check out this video from DNews. If it still doesn’t convince you, then you’re just being difficult.

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