Tag Archives: being in love

Daily Sexy Musing: Hard Working Men

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Talking about gender-specific issues can be touchy these days. I know this because I’ve done that on more than one occasion. While there are some undeniably difficult subjects within those issues, there are also some aspects that are undeniably fun. As it just so happens, many of those details happen to be of the sexy kind.

There are a lot of gender-specific traits that have incredible sex appeal. I don’t think I need to go into detail about why men find female breasts sexy or why women find Channing Tatum’s abs sexy. That kind of appeal speaks for itself. For the appeal that comes from men doing hard work, it’s a bit subtler, but every bit as powerful.

I know this because I’ve felt it. I’ve had days where I’ve labored away for hours on end, working up a sweat and straining muscles that I don’t normally strain. Going all the way back to high school, those days were rarely easy. However, those were often the same days at which I felt truly sexy, as a man.

It’s one thing to just work through general drudgery. There’s nothing too sexy about that. When you work hard and achieve something you’re genuinely proud of, though, it’s like slaying a dragon and winning the Super Bowl. For a man, it highlights the best aspects of masculinity. Some misguided people call it toxic. Most see it for what it is and a good chunk of it is sexy.

A hard-working man, straining his body and pushing his limits, is in the upper echelons of male sex appeal. As a man, I can attest how great it feels to achieve that level of manliness. I feel like a Daily Sexy Musing for it is overdue, but that’s okay because some sexy is always worth celebrating.

I grunt.

I strain.

I sweat.

I lift.

I push.

With every ounce of effort, I channel the power in every muscle. I endure the hot sun, the muggy air, and the dirty ground. There’s work to be done and I have the strength to do it. Through grit and grime, I don’t avoid it. I embrace it. I am a man and this is my finest hour.

The task is daunting. Every breath I take is labored and short. There’s pain in my body that’s impossible to ignore. Even so, I forge ahead. At first, the strain is distress. A part of me looks for any excuse to stop. Another urges me forward, turning pain into strength and strength into stamina. The more I hurt, the harder I work.

There’s a job to be done.

There’s a goal to be reached.

There’s a challenge to overcome.

I do not waiver, letting every beat of sweat pour down my body. I can feel the eyes of others on me, watching as I turn my manly strength into something real and tangible. I sense the growing awe in their eyes. Respect and admiration comes easy when you’re strength is there for all to see.

I want them to see it.

I want them to know it.

I want them to respect it.

My hands get dirtier. The scrapes and scars accumulate. Pain and discomfort keep trying to dissuade me. At every turn, they fail. I am a man, working hard and earning his lot. Whether in gold or respect, I know my value. Now, I have proven it.

I am at my strongest.

I am at my greatest.

I am at my most fit.

In the presence of such a man, what will we do? What more can we achieve?

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Daily Sexy Musing: Learning About You

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There are a great many ways to be intimate with someone. Not all of them involve nudity and rubbing body parts together. While that can be fun, as I’ve explored in both novels and sexy short stories, there’s something to be said about the intimacy we feel when we learn about someone.

I know this because I met my first girlfriend online. While we had plenty of face-to-face moments together, some of our most intimate experiences occurred while we were learning about one another. Sharing your hopes, dreams, and sorrows with someone requires some level of intimacy. When done right, it can feel every bit as powerful as a kiss.

Some people may scoff at the idea of sharing intimacy through a computer screen. While I understand that sentiment to some extent, I also think they’re understating the kind of connection people can forge, just by learning about each other. It doesn’t matter whether it’s at a coffee shop or over a cell phone. That kind of exchange can create some powerful bonds.

Like it or not, more and more people are finding their significant other over the internet. That figure is sure to grow as our connection to technology deepens. Regardless of the medium, learning about someone is a powerful act of intimacy. It helps forge the foundation on which other intimate acts are built. This Daily Sexy Musing is a celebration of that process, if only because it can be done fully clothed.

Who are you?

Who do you aspire to be?

What makes you so enchanting?

Why am I drawn to you?

Why are you drawn to me?

I’ve so many questions and a burning need for answers. Just seeing you sparked my curiosity, but talking to you has enriched my soul. I’ve yet to kiss, touch, or fantasize about you. My heart may influence me, but it’s curiosity that drives me.

Every word you say brings more revelation. With each insight comes more questions. I respond in kind, not seeking to fall in love or pursue my lust. In due time, those feelings soon find their way into each exchange. At first, they’re a distraction. Soon, they become a potent fuel to a growing fire.

I want to know you.

I want you to know me.

The more I know, the more I want to know.

The more you know, the more I can prove I’m worth loving.

There’s a blossoming passion between us. Through each intimate exchange, we become more than just two people talking. In you, I don’t just see a pretty face with a lot to say. I see a complete person, from the deepest scars on your psyche to the purest parts of your soul. Our strengths, our flaws, our goals, and our dreams lie bare and exposed.

Where some pull back, we venture further into one another. My world links with yours, feelings and sentiments entwined for the first time. It’s scary, but exciting. Even when the talking stops, the exchange continues. New questions emerge, but the answers become secondary. Just seeking them fuels that fiery passion.

By learning about you, I know what I feel.

By learning about me, you know what I see.

By learning about each other, we dare ask the intimate questions.

By learning about each other, we boldly seek intimate answers.

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Daily Sexy Musing: First Time Frisking

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The first time you do anything, you can’t expect to be good at it. No matter how talented you are, it’s still going to be as awkward as it is exciting. The same applies to all things sexy. In fact, I would argue that the awkwardness and excitement is magnified tenfold. That’s part of what makes those first frisky moments we share so memorable.

I certainly remember the first time I got frisky with a significant other. She and I were restless, alone, and watching reruns of old X-Men cartoons. It also happened to be the holidays so we were really in the spirit, so to speak. I don’t remember the exact moment when our hands slipped under our shirts, but it was a fun moment for all the right reasons.

It can certainly get more intense than that. From the first time you share a kiss with your lover to the first time you see each other naked, those moments are going to stand out, regardless of whether you break up or go onto get married. Even if it’s a less-than-pleasant experience, it’ll resonate on so many levels. It’s part of what makes intimacy so powerful.

This Daily Sexy Musing is my attempt to take those powerful moments and put them into a larger context. It’s not just about that epic first kiss. It’s not just about that first time two peoples’ genitals interact. There are many other passions at work and they’re definitely worth exploring.

I’ve thought about it.

I’ve dreamed about it.

I’ve hoped, wondered, and pined about it.

Finally, I can stop imagining.

We’ve followed our passions thus far. From the first gaze we exchanged to the last embrace we shared, we’ve already beaten the odds. I’ve proven myself as worthy of your affection. You’ve proven to me that these feelings are real.

I want you.

You want me.

Together, we want whatever our passions incur.

It’s no longer enough to just share words and gestures. I’ve caressed your face and tasted your lips. You’ve held my hand and felt my warmth. Now, I seek something more intimate. Being around you makes my heart race and my clothes itchy. To know you and love you, we must take another critical step.

We find a private area. Every possible distraction is removed or muted. As the moment builds, my knees grow week and my skin becomes hot. I know what I desire, but I’m nervous to embrace it. I can feel you trembling with the same anxiety, knowing that this will be our first time. After, there can never be another.

For the briefest of instants, I question whether we’re ready. My body restrains my heart, reminding me of just how big a moment this is. I understand the weight of the feeling, but I do not pull back. In your eyes, I see another eager soul yearning to capture this moment.

Finally, we shed our clothes.

Finally, we touch once-forbidding parts of flesh.

Finally, we get our first taste of one another’s love.

Reservation turns to exhilaration. Our hearts race together, but not out of dread or fear. For the first time, we feel one another in a deeply intimate way. There are no more barriers to our passions. For the first time, we unleash the breadth of our passions.

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Daily Sexy Musing: On Weddings

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I’ve always been a romantic at heart, but I haven’t always enjoyed weddings or the activities surrounding them. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but there is a context behind it. As a kid, I was not a fan of big parties that didn’t involve ball pits or arcade games. When it was just adults hanging out and drinking, I didn’t see much appeal. Weddings were just part of that.

As I got older, I came to appreciate them more and more. It’s not just because I could legally drink, either. I became more willing to put myself out there and even make a fool of myself in front of friends and family. I also learned to share in the sentiment that came with celebrating love. I was already a romantic. Wedding just helped formalize it.

I write this after having attended a joyous and successful wedding involving one of my aunts. After sharing this momentous occasion with her, my love of romance is more affirmed than ever. Weddings aren’t just expensive parties involving expensive dresses that will only ever be worn once. They reflect the time, energy, and commitment we make in celebrating love.

While marriage wasn’t always romantic, the institution has evolved in a way that makes love the primary catalyst and I think it’s a beautiful thing. It’s worth celebrating and a wedding certainly achieves that. The one I just attended was a great example of how much fun that celebration could be.

Sitcoms and dark humor may still denigrate marriage and for understandable reasons, but I believe the good far outweighs the bad. This Daily Sexy Musing highlights and embraces the good. When done right, a wedding can be the epitome of love and all the sexiness it entails. Enjoy!

The music starts playing.

The bride starts walking.

The groom awaits her arrival.

The world watches as love is affirmed.

It’s a powerful moment, defining the evolution of an intimate bond. What began as attraction became infatuation. From that infatuation came an intimate connection, one that had to be nurtured and fueled. Passion was the first ingredient, but many others soon entered the mix. Now, the final product is ready.

Together, they stand at the altar.

Together, they proclaim he breadth of their love.

Together, they entwined their lives.

Words are exchanged and tears are shed. Friends, family, and loved ones of all kinds join in the moment. Regardless of place or circumstance, the language of love is universal. Not everyone appreciates its power, but none deny its impact. It drives us in so many endeavors. Only a select few make it to the ultimate goal.

In each other, they saw potential. A world of many passionate souls means a life of many pitfalls. We pine and agonize over the love we seek, taking chances and breaking hearts along the way. To find one another, turning possibilities into passions, is a struggle with many pains. However, the struggle is finally at an end.

Today, one journey has ended and another has begun. One set of promises has been kept. Another set have been made. In one moment, two wayward spirits are drawn together to forge a lasting link. Lives once adrift become united in their pursuits. Beyond the good times and through the bad, they take that special step.

The vows are exchanged.

The bond is sealed.

The kiss unfolds.

The union is complete.

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Daily Sexy Musing: On Love and Baseball

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Baseball is often seen as a guy thing. Demographically speaking, it is for the most part. In terms of sex appeal, it’s hardly the first sport that comes to mind. The men aren’t walking around with their shirts off in skin-tight uniforms. There aren’t any scantily clad cheerleaders. That’s to say nothing about the quirky mascots that some teams have.

Those issues aside, I think baseball can be sexy in certain situations. It’s not just some sport guys watch while chugging beer on the couch. It can be like a day at the park, but with bigger crowds and more hot dogs. Having been to my share of baseball games, both as a kid and as an adult, I can attest that there’s a unique social value to the experience.

A ball game is an event and any event can be intimate with the right mentality. A woman, in that instance, doesn’t have to be a hardcore baseball fan. She just has to be happy spending a day with her lover and the guy has be willing to the experience with her. Excitement, no matter where it comes from, is a catalyst for greater passion and baseball can certainly provide that.

With the 2019 baseball season upon us, there are plenty of opportunities to share these experiences for the rest of the summer. Whether it’s at a game or at home, I encourage every couple with at least one sports fan to try it. Hopefully, this baseball-inspired version of my Daily Sexy Musing can inspire you.

The first pitch is thrown.

The first batter swings.

The ballpark erupts.

The game has begun.

Spring has arrived and we’re finally free. Heavy coats and multiple layers are gone. Today, we don more comfortable attire and venture into a warmer, more inviting sun. We are far from alone. Everywhere look, the ballpark is full of those who shared our sentiment.

Sitting side-by-side, we cheer and we laugh. With a cold beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other, we dare to cut loose and celebrate a day away from common drudgery. We’re surrounded by fun, games, and food. Our anxieties melt away. All that matters now is each other and whoever stands at home plate.

Every hit brings excitement.

Every play brings drama.

Every run brings exhilaration.

The rules are simple, but the ultimate goal is not. Through nine innings and twenty-seven outs, both sides have a chance to prove themselves. Only one can come out victorious. There are no ties or draws. One must win and one must lose.

In you, I already feel like I’ve won. Just being there, at the game, with you is a victory of hearts and minds. You show you’re willing to share an experience. I show that I want you to be in that experience. No matter who wins or loses, our love is still stronger. We make each other fee like all stars.

Sometimes, we’ll swing at a bad pitch.

Sometimes, we’ll fail to make a play.

Sometimes, we’ll get a call that goes against us.

Sometimes, we’ll leave runners stranded.

Sometimes, we’ll be outscored.

In the end, every hit counts and every pitch matters. How we play helps determine who we are. With you, on a sunny day at the ballpark, I feel like I’ve already won the World Series. Today, we hit for the cycle. Tonight, we intend to hit a home run.

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Beth And Jerry: The Ultimate Anti-Romance Love Story

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When it comes to telling a good love story, there are many ways to go about it. I’ve certainly learned that from the novels and short stories I’ve written. The nature of romance is constantly evolving. What constitutes quality romance today might seem strange or downright flawed by the standards of the past.

There are many examples of quality, well-developed romances in popular culture today, as well as a few that are downright toxic. However, there’s one particular love story that seems to break all the rules, yet still functions in its own eccentric way. Fittingly enough, that utterly unromantic love story plays out in “Rick and Morty,” a show often defined by its various eccentricities.

I know it’s been a while since I’ve talked about “Rick and Morty.” Like so many others, I’ve been anxiously awaiting news about the fourth season. Ever since the show was renewed for 70 episodes, details have been scares. There have been some occasional teases, but nothing of substance as of yet.

While waiting for those details, I think it’s worth revisiting an issue that has been evolving and devolving since the very first episode. That issue is the less-than-ideal relationship between Beth and Jerry Smith, the parents of Morty and his sister, Summer. Like everything else in the world of “Rick and Morty,” the relationship of Morty’s parents is subject to many issues, flaws, and mishaps.

In essence, the relationship between Jerry and Beth is the antithesis of romantic love. This isn’t a case of two people falling in love and facing challenges when kids enter the picture. It’s not even a case of two people not being in love initially, but falling in love over time as they raise a family. In fact, the most defining aspect of Beth and Jerry’s love story is the complete absence of traditional romance.

That lack of romance doesn’t just stem from the show’s over-arching themes surrounding nihilism and meaning. By nearly every measure, Beth and Jerry aren’t the least bit compatible. Beth, like her eccentric father, is a very smart and capable, as shown in more than one episode. She’s a skilled horse surgeon and can hold her own when wielding advanced sci-fi weapons.

In contrast, Jerry is a case study in mediocrity. He’s not a complete idiot, but he certainly walks a fine line between laughably inept and downright pathetic. He’s unemployed for a good chunk of the first three seasons and is so oblivious that he doesn’t even realize when he’s in a poorly-rendered simulation. At times, he can be a lovable loser, but most of the times, he’s just a loser.

How he and Beth ended up together is neither romantic, nor glamorous. It’s established in Season 1 that Jerry got Beth pregnant on their prom night in high school. The reason they stayed together was for the sake of their child, which isn’t saying much because they almost got an abortion. The only reason they didn’t was because they blew a tire on the way to the clinic.

That may sound dark, but it’s perfectly in line with how “Rick and Morty” handles serious issues like teen pregnancy and abortion. It doesn’t attempt to romanticize the situation, nor does it send the message that having the child and getting married was in any way rewarded. Their always at odds and arguing about everything. There’s rarely a sense that their marriage is loving, stable, or anything romantic.

At one point in Season 3, Rick calls Jerry out on how he ended up with Beth. Despite what he claims, it wasn’t an act of romance that brought him and Beth together. It was little more than pity.

Jerry, being so inept at everything, has little more going for him than pity. It’s the only real skill he has, but it was enough to get him an ill-fated prom date with Beth. Rick sums it up nicely in one of his many memorable speeches.

You act like prey but you’re a predator. You use pity to lure in your victims. It’s how you survive. I survive because I know everything, that snake survives because children wander off, and you survive because people think, “Oh, this poor piece of shit, he never gets a break. I can’t stand the deafening silent wails of his wilting soul. I guess I’ll hire him or marry him.”

This moment is revealing in that it reinforces how little romance was involved in the development of Beth and Jerry’s relationship. Their entire lives together are built around Beth feeling sorry for Jerry. Then, once she got pregnant and failed to get an abortion, circumstances did the rest.

It’s not romantic. It’s not tragic, either. They just ended up in a lousy situation and made the most of it. That’s not a love story. That’s basic survival for anyone who isn’t a super-genius with access to a portal gun.

That’s not to say there aren’t some moments of sincerity. Jerry, being the least capable member of the family, tends to remember fondly the early days of their relationship. He’s the only one who sees the relationship in a romantic context. The only time anyone else sees it, Beth included, is when they’re facing a crisis, be it an identity crisis or the end of the world.

When it comes to the day-to-day logistics of the relationship, it’s never that functional. Jerry can’t hold down a job or handle himself whenever he gets caught up in Rick and Morty’s adventures. Beth drowns herself in bottles of wine and episodes of “The Bachelor.” Even when they try to do something romantic, like a Titanic-themed get-away, it often fails spectacularly.

This dysfunction eventually culminates in the first episode of Season 3, “The Rickshank Redemption.” Jerry, in a rare moment of assertiveness, tells Beth that she has to choose between him or her father. In his unintelligent mind, he believes the romance they have will win out. He ends up being wrong. Beth chooses her father and Jerry gets kicked out of the house.

In most shows, that would be the end of a relationship that’s so inherently flawed. However, “Rick and Morty” isn’t most shows and not just because it has characters like Mr. Poopybutthole. In this world of infinite realities and bird people, even love stories devoid of romance find a way to gain meaning in a show steeped in nihilistic undertones.

That meaning emerges at the end of Season 3 in “The Rickchurian Mortydate” in which Beth has a chance to make another choice. This time, she’s at odds with her father, who had revealed some harsh truths about who she was as a kid and what it means to be smart. Unlike before, she chooses Jerry over Rick and he gets to move back in.

This, through the twisted logic of “Rick and Morty,” affirms Beth and Jerry as a genuine love story, but one that is still devoid of romance. Beth didn’t choose Jerry out of love. She chose him because she that’s what she wanted. That’s all there is to it. In a show where Rick once described love as “a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed,” that might be the greatest act of love anyone can offer.

It also mirrors the inherent value of having a choice. Episodes like “Pickle Rick” and “The Ricks Must Be Crazy” all emphasize the importance of choice, especially for those of near infinite capabilities. Both Rick and Beth are endowed and burdened with intelligence, abilities, and options. Their choices are, ultimately, the only actions that truly matter in a meaningless universe.

In the case of Beth and Jerry, the choice doesn’t have to involve romance. In fact, romance would only complicate things. Just choosing to be together, despite all the flaws in their relationship, is the only thing they need to make their love work. They’re together because they want to be together. That’s all there is to it and that’s all they need.

In that sense, Beth and Jerry’s story still qualifies as a love story, despite the utter lack of romance. It’s hard to say where their relationship will go in the coming seasons of “Rick and Morty.” Maybe it will develop some amount of romance. Maybe it’ll only become more flawed and less romantic, as the series progresses.

Whatever ends up happening, it still doesn’t matter, as is often the case in “Rick and Morty.” As long as Beth chooses Jerry and Jerry chooses Beth, their story will still be a love story in its own unique way. Regardless of whether love is real or just a chemical reaction in their brains, it’s still their choice and that’s as meaningful as love can get in a meaningless universe.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Drunk Love

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When it comes to matters of love and sex, alcohol has a mixed reputation. On one hand, it lowers our inhibitions and makes us more willing to pursue feelings that we wouldn’t have pursued. On the other, it can really hinder the actual mechanics of intimacy. Anyone who has tried to kiss someone while drunk knows that all too well.

In college, I saw many cases of alcohol both helping and hindering various acts of romance. I’ve watched a couple do shots and have the best time together at a club. I’ve also seen people do just as many shots and fall over one another in a very unromantic way. It’s a mixed bag, but like any tool, it depends on how it’s used.

As someone who didn’t start drinking until much later in life, I can appreciate how alcohol helps us navigate the various social processes that often come with romance. It doesn’t just loosen inhibitions. It frees our words, so to speak. It allows us to be more upfront than we otherwise would and I think that valuable in any romantic pursuit, especially those with poor social skills.

Others may have had bad experiences with alcohol and not just in terms of their love lives. I understand that and this Daily Sexy Musing may not work for them. For those who have found a way to incorporate the effects of alcohol into a healthy, sexy relationship, I think we’ll be on the same page. Like anything, you can overdo it. When you strike a healthy balance, though, the benefits are as remarkable as they are sexy.

A can of beer.

A glass of wine.

A shot of whiskey.

A bottle of vodka.

Whatever form it takes, we gleefully imbibe. That hot, burning sensations in our throats warns us what we’re in for. Nerves will be dampened and inhibitions will be lost. We take on those risks in hopes of reaping greater rewards. There may be pain and discomfort later, but with every drink, we embrace the here and now.

I feel my tongue loosen.

I feel your body open.

I feel our souls reveal themselves as the effects take hold.

We laugh, cheer, and dance. Everything starts to spin. It’s no longer possible to scrutinize every passing moment. For once, rules and propriety cannot keep us bound. I won’t apologize for feeling good, nor will I hesitate to share that experience with others. When others scorn, I just take another drink.

Every sip is an affront to a world intent on containing our passions. A lurid smile and playful grasp spits on the foundations of civilization. Rather than build and toil, we cheer and celebrate. We step away from our duties, defy our overlords, and live life on our terms. A drink may start as an excuse, but it soon becomes a catalyst.

The price we pay later goes up, but the feelings we embrace in the moment gain value. Through slurred speech and blissful daze, we are free and unbound. Everything becomes possible. Everyone becomes a new connection. For once, the life we live is our own.

With every drink, we turn restraint and to revelry.

With every drink, we turn deviance into decadence.

With every drink, we turn distress into catharsis.

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