Reflecting On The Balanced (But Bland) Romance In “Ant Man And The Wasp”

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Whenever I go into a Marvel movie these days, I often wonder whether this will be the movie that finally derails the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s unprecedented winning streak. Whenever I to go to see any other kind of superhero movie, I just wonder whether or not it’ll fail miserably. For some, the extent of that failure can be pretty egregious.

It says something about the brand that Kevin Feige and Disney have created when the quality of a movie is assumed by the audience. Ever since the first “Iron Man,” the MCU has found ways to raise the bar, match it, raise it again, and make billions in the process. The brand is so strong that it can turn obscure comics involving talking raccoons into a global phenomenon.

It’s for that reason I wasn’t at all surprised when Feige and our Disney overlords turned “Ant Man” into another successful franchise. Granted, he’s not nearly on the same level as Iron Man or Captain America, but he doesn’t have to be. The fact his first movie made over $500 million is proof that even obscure characters can play a part in the MCU’s winning streak.

For the most part, I thought “Ant Man” was a decent movie. It was fun, but not on the same level as “Guardians of the Galaxy” or “Thor: Ragnarok.” However, what really got me excited for the inevitable sequel was the promise of a more meaningful romantic sub-plot between Scott Lang and Hope Van Dyne.

When I heard that the title of the sequel was “Ant Man and the Wasp,” I grew even more hopeful. The first movie did a lot to establish the connection between Scott and Hope. Unlike the other romantic connections that have emerged in the MCU, this one had the potential to become something more than just a standard plot device.

It’s an understated, but emerging issue in the MCU. When it comes to romance, Marvel movies have a frustrating tendency to only go so far. Sure, it has romantic moments between Captain America and Peggy Carter, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, and Black Panther and Nakia. However, those moments rarely go beyond moving the plot forward.

With Ant Man and Wasp, there’s an opportunity to inject a more refined level of romance into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Beyond just giving characters added motivation, this is a relationship that can function more like a partnership rather than a plot catalyst. A good romance, after all, is an exercise in developing quality partnerships.

This is what I was hoping to see with “Ant Man and the Wasp” in addition to Paul Rudd finding new ways to be hilarious. Being a self-professed lover of romance, I wanted to see this romantic evolution happen on-screen and within the context of a larger story. Looking back on it, I might have been hoping for too much.

That’s not to say my hopes were dashed for this movie. I’ll gladly go on record as saying that “Ant Man and the Wasp” is a solid movie that improves on its predecessor. At the same time, though, I felt this movie was a missed opportunity to give the MCU an element that it has been sorely lacking for a while now.

Ever since Thor’s relationship with Jane Foster was unceremoniously cast aside after “Thor: The Dark World,” Marvel movies have been doing the bare minimum when it comes to romance. I would argue that has been part of a larger trend within superhero movie not involving Deadpool.

From the beginning, “Ant Man and the Wasp” sets itself apart by having Scott Lang and Hope Van Dyne operate as an equal partnership. They both have plenty of moments where they show off their skill. Hope gets to show off early by really shining as Wasp. Scott contributes later on in ways that are both cunning and hilarious.

In my opinion, the most important achievement of this movie is establishing how complementary Hope and Scott are as a duo. On their own, they show they’re plenty capable. However, they can only achieve what they want when they work together. That, in essence, is the foundation of any meaningful romance.

Unfortunately, “Ant Man and the Wasp” doesn’t do much to build on that foundation. There are a few romantic moments, but they’re very small and usually involve puppy love glances. There aren’t any instances where Hope and Scott get that intimate. They work together and they work well, but it’s exceedingly basic.

There’s never an impression that their relationship deserves to be elevated above a relationship like Thor and Jane. Even though Hope and Scott is a lot more balanced in terms of how they function together, it’s not necessarily the kind of love story that will strike an emotional chord.

They work well together and they’re attracted to one another. Their romance is basically not that different than a typical office romance. In many respects, their relationship is overshadowed by the one between Hank Pym and his missing wife, Janet. That ends up being a more compelling love story, which is saying a lot given the complications of their relationship in the comics.

Even that romantic element is relatively basic, though. Much of the conflict revolves around Ant Man and Wasp’s efforts to save Janet from the quantum realm, where she’s been trapped for years. It creates plenty of family-driven drama, which certainly has its appeal. In terms of overall drama, though, it only goes so far.

Outside those romantic elements, “Ant Man and the Wasp” does everything it needs to in order to maintain the brand of the MCU. It’s coherent, concise, and entertaining. The movie relies heavily on the comedic elements, which fits perfectly for a character who rides around on ants.

Ant Man is not Black Panther, Captain America, or Thor. Wasp is not Black Widow, Gamora, or Peggy Carter. They don’t try to be more than who they are. They stick to the core of their character. In an era where superheroes try too hard to be like Batman, this counts as an accomplishment.

In this same era, there’s a similar effort to develop more balanced female characters who aren’t Wonder Woman. Wasp definitely counts as progress in that effort. She can hold her own, kick ass, and complement those around her, whether that’s Scott Lang or Hank Pym. She’s still no Wonder Woman, but Marvel may be saving that effort for “Captain Marvel.”

In terms of the villain in this movie, “Ant Man and the Wasp” manages to get by with Ghost. While there is some intrigue with her character, she does little to make herself memorable. Compared to Erik Killmonger, who stole the show in “Black Panther,” Ghost was more an obstacle than a villain. She still got the job done and did so with personality.

Overall, if I had to score “Ant Man and the Wasp,” I would give it a 7 out of 10. It’s an all-around solid movie that’s fun, entertaining, and satisfying. It’s definitely a breath of fresh air after the grim circumstances surrounding “Avengers: Infinity War,” at least until the post-credits scene. However, the romance lover in me still feels that it left much of its potential untapped.

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Filed under Movie Reviews, movies, romance, superhero movies

The following is a review I wrote for PopMatters on X-23 #1. Enjoy!

It’s Back to Brutal Basics for Laura in ‘X-23 #1’

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July 12, 2018 · 6:03 pm

Why I Don’t Use The Term “Social Justice Warrior” And Ideas For A Better Label

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Every now and then, I get comments and criticisms about my writing style. Some are constructive. Some are just angry rants that I’m perfectly content to ignore. There is one criticism, though, that I feel is worth addressing.

Specifically, it involves some specific terms I avoid using. Most people with an internet connection or access to cable news have probably heard the term “social justice warrior” at least once. It’s rarely in a positive light. It’s often used as an insult or a signal that you’re about to say something that’s going to evoke a lot of angry comments on social media.

I’ve been tempted to use it in the past. I’ve discussed many topics involving feminism, men’s issues, and social inequality that often get people throwing that term around as though it were a demonic chant. There’s a reason I’ve avoided it, though, and I hope to demonstrate that it’s a good reason.

First off, I want to make clear that I despise the term “social justice warrior” almost as much as I despise “toxic masculinity,” a phrase I believe cannot fade from our language fast enough. I see this label as one of the worst manifestations of the English language since the hippie era and at least they could blame psychedelic drugs.

I also believe that its continued usage will do more to breed hatred, outrage, and division at a time when we’re already more divided than ever. It derails a conversation and detracts from discussions about serious issue involving society, justice, and gender. This term is literally holding back progress, which is ironic given the nature of its definition.

The actual definition of a social justice warrior, or SJW as it’s colloquially used, is somewhat vague. It’s a modern-day catch-all term for a particular brand of politics and social attitudes. According to Wikipedia, the definition is as follows:

A pejorative term for an individual who promotes socially progressive views, including feminism, civil rights, and multiculturalism, as well as identity politics. The accusation that somebody is an SJW carries implications that they are pursuing personal validation rather than any deep-seated conviction, and engaging in disingenuous arguments.

I think that definition covers most of the most common ways the term is used, but I think it underscores how much vitriol it inspires. Spend any amount of time on social media and you’ll find some of the most hateful, demeaning, and divisive rhetoric you can imagine.

However, it’s not just the extreme rhetoric this term inspires that discourages me from using it. It’s not even the tendency for a conversation to devolve rapidly as soon as the words “social justice warrior” show up in a sentence. What I find most objectionable about this term is how fundamentally dishonest it is.

To illustrate how, look at the anti-abortion movement, another extremely divisive issue that tends to evoke all the wrong emotions. There are some pretty passionate opponents to abortion, but they don’t call themselves anti-abortion. They call themselves “pro-life.” It’s a disingenuous term, but from a marketing standpoint, it’s brilliant.

That’s because, if you go by the literal meaning of the words, it means you’re for life in general. It doesn’t directly imply anything about abortion. By calling themselves “pro-life,” they skew the meaning so that they can claim they’re on the side of all things alive and good.

Again, it’s a smart ploy, but it’s also dishonest and George Carlin did a brilliant job of explaining why. Those who use the “social justice” label use a similar tactic. They use words that denote inherently positive concepts like society and justice. However, I would argue that this ploy is even more dishonest than those hiding behind the “pro-life” table.

Most reasonable people are for justice. They’re also for a functional society in which people of any race, gender, religion, or ethnic background can live in peace and enjoy the same protections under the law. On paper, we have that. In practice, there’s room for improvement.

However, whenever I listen to someone who adheres to the Wikipedia definition of “social justice warrior,” I never get the impression that their ideas of justice are genuine. They tend to reflect a personal, selfish brand of justice that is more concerned with how the world makes them feel and less with how it really works.

A “social justice warrior” will look at issues like female depictions in video games, cultural appropriation in media, and proper pronoun usage and not see the full picture. In fact, they’ll go out of their way to ignore that picture and focus only on the parts that sends their emotions into overdrive.

It’s not enough to just criticize these injustices. A “social justice warrior” has to treat them like some grand conspiracy by wannabe fascists who bathe in the tears of orphans and wish they could still own slaves. It becomes a potent blend of holier-than-thou grandstanding and virtue signaling. To say that brings out the worst in some people would be an understatement.

Talk to most people outside a 4chan board and chances are, they’ll be in favor of a just society whether they’re liberal, conservative, progressive, feminist, or whatever other political affiliation they may have. The fact that “social justice” now has more to do with misguided outrage and little to do with actual justice is downright tragic.

The term gets thrown around so often that I’ve made a conscious decision to just avoid using it in my writing. After this article, I intend to use different words that I feel are more reflective of the outrageous attitudes that “social justice warrior” evokes.

I’m not doing that because using words gives them power and I don’t want to give “social justice warrior” more power than it already has. While I doubt that’ll reduce the vitriol it currently carries, I still prefer terminology that’s more reflective of these damaging attitudes.

In the name of offering some potential solutions to this issue, I want to put forth a new approach to dealing with the “social justice warrior” phenomenon. I believe that it reflects an ideology that’s worth confronting. It espouses attitudes that promote censorship, infantilize groups of people, and elevates one person’s feelings over another for all the wrong reasons.

These are people and attitudes that will continue to make noise and push bad ideas on a society that already has too many circling around. For that reason, I believe that warrants creating some new labels for them, one that I think is more descriptive of what they truly area. Here are just a few.

Professional Whiner

Regressive Whiner

Weakly Whiner

Sad Whiner

I think the theme here is pretty obvious. Most of the time, “social justice warriors” don’t really protest. They whine. They whine in a way that’s worse than any child. They don’t try to solve a problem. They don’t try to learn the facts and figure out a better process for doing something. They just whine.

That’s not just pathetic. That makes whole “warrior” part of their label hypocritical. Warriors are supposed to fight and not whine. When reality doesn’t cater to your feelings, whining never changes that. A “social justice warrior” may even understand that, but they also understand that without validation of some sort, their outrage is empty.

That, I believe, is the key to confronting the misguided attitudes of the “social justice warrior” phenomenon. Attitudes that have little to do with actual justice or a healthy society need to be called out for what they are. I say that as someone who does have attitudes that some may consider progressive, but I understand that whining about them won’t do much to further those ideals.

At the end of the day, if all “social justice warriors” have to go on is whining, then the harsh reality of the world will do plenty to undercut their attitudes in the long run. Calling them what they truly are will just help remind them a little sooner.

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Filed under Current Events, gender issues, philosophy, political correctness, sex in society

How Atheism May Improve Your Sex Life

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When it comes to improving your sex life, there’s no one way to go about it that works for everyone. Human sexuality is complex, diverse, and exceedingly kinky. What works for one person won’t work for another and may even be detrimental in some cases.

Conversely, there are also variety of ways to undermine or ruin your sex life. That same sexual diversity that helps the human race find novel ways to get intimate with one another can also backfire horribly. Some are minor, in terms of effect, but other forces can have a much greater impact.

That brings me to religion, a topic that tends to inspire the best and worst in people. Like sex, it’s a complex phenomenon that impacts everybody differently. It can inspire great charity and compassion in some. It can just as easily incur greed, exploitation, and outright atrocity.

For those reasons, and plenty more that are too numerous to list, any effort that involves mixing sex with religion is akin to mixing napalm with TNT. I’ve made an effort to discuss both topics in a fair, balanced manner in the past. I feel as though I can only go so far before I totally inflame certain audiences.

I’m still going to try to push the conversation a bit farther. That means taking a few risks and since religion is still such a prominent force in the world, it’s effect on our collective sex lives is unavoidable.

For this particular discussion, want to focus on what happens when religion is removed from the equation. If religion is really that powerful an influence on our lives, and both history and current politics indicate that influence is not entirely trivial, then it stands to reason that the impact of its absence can reveal something about the extent of that influence.

That’s not to say that this is going to be a glowing endorsement of atheism. I prefer to let the data, the logic, and the implications speak for themselves. Since religion is on decline in many parts of the western world, I think exploring the potential impact is critical and even a little urgent.

Information on the sex lives of atheists compared to those who consider themselves religious is somewhat difficult to come by. The act of assessing and measuring someone’s sex lives, as well as the extent of their religiosity, is extremely difficult without the aid of lie detectors or mind-readers. The information we do have, though, does offer some intriguing insights.

Back in 2011, a survey entitled “Sex and Secularism” surveyed approximately 14,500 people revealed that those who identified as religious had less satisfying sex lives than their non-religious counterparts. On top of that, those same religious participants reported a high level of guilt that came along with their sex lives. Given how some religions build their theology around guilt, that shouldn’t be too surprising.

Conversely, those identifying as non-religious didn’t just report better sex lives. They had better sexual education and were more open to discussing sex in general. Everything from personal fantasies to simple tastes was fair game and less affected by guilt. That openness, along with considerably less stigma, was conducive to a more fulfilling sex life.

That effect was more pronounced by those who had once been religious, but had since become atheist. Between the absence of religiously-motivated guilt and the sexual taboos that are often theologically driven, the cumulative effect is pretty striking. This notable quote from the researchers summed it up nicely.

“People who had lost their belief and became atheists reported a significant improvement in sexual satisfaction,” the paper went on to say. Apparently the guilty feelings that religion creates around sex dissipate after a while.

Now, I can already hear the outrage sincerely devout religious crowd on the conclusions of this study. More than a few people who consider themselves religious will claim that their sex lives are superior and they may even have a case to make. Many religions offer a simple, one-size-fits-all approach to sex that is uncomplicated, straightforward, and safer. The fact that it’s also ordained by a divine power is also a factor.

I don’t deny that there are plenty of religious couples out there who have satisfying sex lives. There are probably plenty of atheists out there who have terrible sex lives, as well. However, in order to draw larger conclusions about the impact of religion on sex, we can’t just go by a few anecdotal experiences. We have to step back and see the forest from the trees.

From a psychological and physiological perspective, it makes sense that guilt, religiously-motivated or not, would undermine anyone’s sex life. Guilt has measurable effects on people. It makes it harder to focus. It keeps us from enjoying things. It’s a powerful distraction that makes us feel stress and anxiety. All of these forces can do plenty to undermine your sex life.

In my musings on taboos, I often cite religion as a driving force behind them. Organized religion has made no secret of its intent to regulate, control, or outright exploit human sexuality. There’s plenty of theology, especially among the Abrahamic religions, that imparts divinely-mandated guilt on sex.

In these religious cultures, sex isn’t just some basic biological act that people do for intimacy, procreation, and recreation. It’s subject to all sorts of holy and unholy connotations. The deities involved in these religions aren’t just interested in the kind of sex you’re having. They’ll actually punish you if you do it the wrong way.

That does more than just impart extra guilt for doing anything that strays from what priests, mullahs, monks, and rabbis deem appropriate. It also instills a very rigid family structure, one centered around a specific manifestation of sex that has very little room for fun, kink, and exploration.

That manifestation involves strict gender roles where men do the hard labor and women do the child rearing. The only sex that is sanctioned is the one that involves producing babies who subsequently grow up to be adherents/soldiers/patrons of a particular religion. The fact that type of sexual expression indirectly benefits religious institutions is probably just a coincidence.

The act of enjoying sex for non-procreative purposes would constitute a distraction. A distraction is dangerous in any religion because if people become too distracted, then they pay less attention to the religious institutions and the duties they espouse. As such, it’s in the interest of any successful religion to maintain a strict control over someone’s sex life.

That kind of control is naturally prone to stress. Given how the biological wiring of human sexuality is not conducive to that kind of narrow expression, there’s bound to be temptation. The best way to combat temptation is through stigma and taboo. By hijacking powerful feelings like guilt, it’s possible heavily influence peoples’ sex lives, even if it’s impossible to control them.

It’s akin to putting lead weights on somebody’s limbs and convincing them that the weight is normal. Even if they come to accept that, the weight still skews perceptions and that can only do so much in terms of circumventing basic biology. It also means that when those weights come off, the effect is pretty striking.

Suddenly, the stigma that once kept someone from seeking the sex they desired are gone. The burdens associated with thoughts and feelings that religious institutions deem unholy are lifted. Like any form of stress relief, it can be pretty liberating.

That doesn’t necessarily mean the 2011 survey is conclusive. It has been criticized for being unscientific in some aspects. Some of those criticisms are valid and the researchers concede that, but to the extent the data is consistent with what we understand about how religion can affect our sexuality, it passes some critical filters.

Our sex lives are complicated. Religion, in its many forms, is complicated as well. Regardless of how you feel about one or the other, mixing them is almost certain to compound both. Atheism, like not playing a sport or not having a hobby, simply removes one of those complications.

It’s not a universal fix. It doesn’t subvert other potential issues that may undermine someone’s sex life. There’s plenty more research to be done and religion is still evolving with each passing year, but when it comes to removing divinely-imposed, theologically-driven guilt, atheism stimulates the necessary aspects that make for a satisfying sex life.

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Filed under gender issues, human nature, Marriage and Relationships, philosophy, psychology, religion, romance, sex in society, sexuality

The Emerging Problem Of Superman And Lois Lane

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I think I’ve made it fairly clear that I’m a big fan of superhero romances. I’m a big fan of romance in general, but romance between superheroes has a special place in my heart. I was a comic book fan before I was a romance fan. As the years have gone by, it has been among my favorite combinations. I put it up there with pizza and a cold beer.

It certainly helps that superhero comics have inspired some of the most iconic romances of the past century. Say what you will about Rose and Jack in “Titanic.” I still find the love story between Batman and Catwoman is much more complex and compelling in terms of depth, not to mention many times sexier.

Superhero comics have informed a lot with respect to my fondness for romance. I also think they offer unique insights into the complexity of romance. Love is complicated enough. Adding superpowers and super-villains into the mix only compounds the drama. Sometimes it can end in tragedy. Sometimes it can make for some truly epic romance that strikes all the right emotional chords.

In some instances, though, mixing romance and superheroes can cause problems. Like relationships in the real world, there are many ways to screw it up. Comics have done plenty to mishandle romance. Just ask any Spider-Man fan about a story called One More Day and watch them recoil with disgust. I’ve even noted a few examples.

However, there are some instances where romance in superhero comics cause unique problems that are subtle in substance, but vast in implications. It doesn’t always involve relationships that are inherently toxic to multiple characters. Sometimes, those problems can emerge in even the most iconic relationship.

In the pantheon of superhero romances, the top spot is usually reserved for Superman and Lois Lane. In terms of romance in superhero comics, they are the gold-encrusted diamond standard by which all others are measured. Their love is isn’t just iconic. It’s a foundational component for both characters.

Superman loves Lois Lane. Lois Lane loves Superman. That romance is established in the pages of Action Comics #1. It’s a critical part of how both characters evolve over the years. You can’t tell Superman’s story without Lois Lane and you can’t tell Lois Lane’s story without Superman.

In the same way Superman always does the right thing and Deadpool always makes the dirtiest joke, this dynamic is fundamental. It establishes the kind of romance that is pure, unconditional, and uncorrupt. There’s no need for a previous love interest to die or a love triangle to provoke drama. Superman and Lois Lane just love each other and that’s all there is to it.

However, even with a romance this iconic, there is a problem and it’s actually a very recent problem. It affects both Superman and Lois Lane, but I believe it affects Lois to a much greater extent. It stems from an issue that I’ve been noticing more and more lately with certain romances. When it shows up in the most iconic romance in the history of comics, though, I take notice.

The nature of the problem has less to do with love and more to do with how a relationship defines certain characters. In both fiction and real life, it’s common and even romantic for two people to become so close that their lives become heavily entwined. There comes a point, though, where it stops being romantic and starts being destructive.

For most of their history, Superman and Lois Lane’s romance was built around simple, but effective dynamics. Lois Lane loved Superman, but not Clark Kent, who she didn’t know was Superman. Superman kept his identity from her to protect her many years, which created plenty of tension and made for some great moments.

Eventually, Superman reveals his identity to Lois and they eventually get married. I remember that moment. It was an amazing milestone for both romance and comics lore. The problem only came when that dynamic was complicated by a new theme that has since permeated the narrative.

It didn’t start at any particular date, but I think “Superman Returns” marked the unofficial turning point. That movie, on top of turning Superman into a deadbeat dad, made a small, but critical tweak to the Superman/Lois romance. In essence, it turned their love from a strength to a liability that is detrimental to the ideals of Superman and romance, as a whole.

At the beginning of that movie, Superman’s actions are the same as they’ve always been. He does the right thing because it’s the right thing. That’s who he is and why he’s so iconic. Towards the end, though, what he does becomes less about doing the right thing and more about resolving his relationship with Lois Lane.

Suddenly, doing the right thing and saving Lois aren’t just supplementary plots. They’re indistinguishable. One is the other and that’s a problem for reasons that go beyond romance and heroism. It wouldn’t have been that big an issue if it had only played out in one sub-par Superman movie, but in recent years, the problem has escalated.

It manifested in its most overt form in “Injustice: Gods Among Us,” a video game with a comic book series tie-in that essentially provides a worst-case-scenario for Superman. In this story, Superman is tricked into killing both Lois and his unborn child by the Joker. It’s not just an atrocity and a tragedy. It fundementally breaks Superman.

I’m not just referring to his spirit either. The death of Lois Lane also marked the death of Superman, as an ideal. In both the game and the tie-in comics, he’s no longer a hero. He’s a tyrant who becomes everything he once fought against. I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a villain, but he’s definitely not the beacon of goodness that so defines his character.

While it makes for a powerful story, the particulars of that transformation are profound and not in a good way. It implies that Superman’s heroism is directly tied to Lois Lane and not supplemented by it. If she dies, then Superman ceases to be that iconic hero who stands for truth and justice.

That sends the message that Superman’s love for Lois Lane isn’t a strength. It’s a crutch. She’s not just his connection to humanity. She’s his lifeline. Beyond putting a burden on a character whose appeal is her ambitious pursuit of truth, it reduces Lois Lane to a singular role and one that’s impossible to maintain.

Unlike Superman, Lois is human. She’s going to age. She’s going to eventually die. Under this dynamic, Superman will eventually lose sight of his ideals. He’ll eventually stop being the hero that fights for truth, justice, and the American Way. Without Lois, he’s destined to give up and for a character who once moved the sun, that’s pretty weak.

This issue came up again in the plot for “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.” While I enjoyed the movie and don’t think it deserved half the criticism it got, there was one major issue that I felt undercut the story. Once again, it came back to Superman’s relationship with Lois.

Throughout the movie, Superman constantly questions his role and responsibilites as a hero, especially after seeing Batman’s approach to pursuing justice. That’s perfectly appropriate with respect to humanizing his character, but at the end of the day, he bases much of his decision to save the day around saving Lois.

That’s not to say that there isn’t merit to saving a lover, but this is Superman we’re talking about here. This is a hero whose entire appeal is built around him having god-like power, but still doing the right thing. When the right thing is only ever in the context of saving his girlfriend, then that undercuts both the ideals and the romance itself.

It’s largely for that reason, among others, that I find the romance between Superman and Wonder Woman more compelling. Back in 2012, there was a brief period in DC Comics where the timeline was tweaked, which happens fairly often, and Superman’s marriage to Lois Lane was nullified. That gave these two iconic heroes a chance to be together.

I could probably write several more articles about why I think the Superman/Wonder Woman romance is special in its own right. In many respects, I think it’s healthier than the Superman/Lois Lane relationship. It may never be as iconic, but it fundementally avoids this problem.

Wonder Woman can take care of herself. She can save herself and be a hero on her own terms. Lois Lane, however, is becoming more and more defined by how she defines Superman. For the most iconic superhero couple of all time, that’s pretty shallow.

The recent comics have done little to address this issue. With yet another tweak to the timeline, Superman is back with Lois. They even have a child now. However, the nature of their relationship is still on uncertain ground. I still feel it lacks the complementary dynamics that made it work so well for so many years.

There’s a chance it could change. Given the fickle nature of comic book continuity, it’s very likely that the Superman/Lois Lane dynamic will continue to evolve. However, I think it’s going in the wrong direction if Superman’s reasons for doing the right thing are that dependent on Lois.

Whether or not this problem deepens or subsides remains to be seen. Superman and Lois Lane are still the most iconic romance in the history of comics. That will continue to hold true, even if the problem deepens. Superman and Lois Lane are great characters in their own right. That aspect cannot and should not get lost under the weight of their iconic romance.

As much a romantic as I am, I don’t deny that it is possible for a love story to go too far. Loving someone and being dependant on them are not the same thing, especially when superpowers get involved. If a relationship becomes too dependent, then it can be more damaging than a mountain of kryptonite.

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Filed under Comic Books, Jack Fisher, Superheroes, Marriage and Relationships, romance, superhero movies

Profiles In Noble Masculinity: Robocop

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Even in an era where masculinity has gained way too many negative connotations, there’s plenty of room for men who distinguish themselves in respectable, honorable ways. There are countless male characters in popular culture who attempt to set themselves apart. Sometimes, it brings out the worst in men. Sometimes, it brings out the best.

I’ve made a concerted effort to focus on the best aspects of masculinity. To date, I’ve profiled two characters, Joel from “The Last of Us” and Hank Hill from “King of the Hill.” I’ve cited both characters as examples of noble masculinity. It manifests in different forms, but it helps bring a unique strength to their characters.

They have a wide range of traits, some of which aren’t distinctly masculine. When those manly characteristics do emerge, though, they don’t just reveal the greater subtleties in who they are. They demonstrate just how powerful masculinity can be when it’s channeled. In that spirit, I’d like to highlight another character who channels that kind of masculinity in a way that’s compelling, memorable, and full of memorable one-liners.

That character’s name is Alex J. Murphy of the Detroit Police Department, but most know him as Robocop. He’s not just a cop who got caught up in a greedy corporation’s agenda. He’s not just a man in a machine carrying out the duties of a cop. When you take in the entirety of Robocop’s story, including the Jesus connotations, you find a character whose masculinity shines even in the R-rated violence that is Detroit.

Now, before I go any further, I want to establish that the version of “Robocop” I’m citing here is the original 1987 version played by Peter Weller. This profile will not draw from the 2014 “Robocop” played by Joel Kinnaman. I’m not saying that version of the character is without merit. I enjoyed that movie. However, it did not come close to demonstrating the level of noble masculinity that the original conveyed.

On the surface, the original “Robocop” wasn’t that groundbreaking for its time. Stories about urban decay and dystopian cities were already popular thanks to movies like “The Terminator” and “Blade Runner.” In terms of substance, though, “Robocop” achieved something profound in terms of crafting a memorable male character.

The core of Alex Murphy’s character, even before he became Robocop, is that he’s a good, honorable man in a city that doesn’t have many of them. This version of Detroit, which is sadly very similar to the real-world version, is full of deviant criminals and corrupt business types. The very company that creates Robocop, Omni Consumer Products, is full of ruthless individuals who see crime only as a hindrance to profits.

A man like Alex Murphy is a precious rarity in that world. As such, it doesn’t take long for it to get snuffed out. On Murphy’s first day on the job, he’s callously killed by a gang of sociopath criminals led by Clarence Boddicker. All that innate nobility and idealism Murphy had was literally shot to death within the first twenty minutes of the movie.

However, that was not the end of Alex Murphy’s story. It was only the beginning. When he’s turned into Robocop by OCP, who see him only as a means to further their business plan, the extent of the noble masculinity he portrays only grows. The fact it does so while he cleans up Detroit’s rampant crime is a nice bonus as well.

From the moment he awakens as Robocop, we see what looks to be only a shell of a man. In fact, OCP goes out of their way to remove as much of the man as possible, not bothering to salvage his hand or anything below the neck. The only part of Alex Murphy they keep is his brain and part of his face.

It’s a total deconstruction of a man, ripping away the very flesh that makes him masculine and yes, that includes his genitals. To OCP, he’s a machine who just happens to run on human parts. They try to filter out the humanity in hopes of creating an obedient commodity that they can then mass produce, market, and utilize for profit.

It’s dehumanization to an extreme, more so than what characters like Wolverine endured. For a brief while, it looks like OCP succeeds. Initially, Robocop carries himself like a machine, confronting Detroit’s worst criminals with an efficiency that wasn’t possible as Alex Murphy. He could’ve become a perfect example of reducing all men to machines, devoid of emotion and focused only on a task at hand.

Then, the story takes a more human turn and Robocop suddenly becomes more man than machine. Despite everything OCP took from him, including his body and his free will, Alex Murphy still emerged. Even after everything that made him a man was deconstructed, literally in some cases, he fought to regain control.

In the process, we get to see Robocop learn about the man he used to be. We see glimpses of his life as a father and a husband. We find out just how good a man he was to his wife and his son. It contrasts heavily to the ruthless criminals and callous business people that affect much of the story. That’s critical in terms of establishing Robocop as someone who conveys a heroic brand of masculinity.

From the outside perspective of the audience, Alex Murphy’s home life seems mundane and even a little corny. However, when put into the context of a crime-ridden urban dystopia, it becomes instrumental in elevating Robocop’s sense of duty. They make his prime directives more than just base programming. By adding Murphy’s humanity into the mix, they gain greater meaning.

It’s an inherently masculine trait, protecting those who cannot otherwise protect themselves. Murphy already embodied that trait because he was a cop and a family man. However, he could only accomplish so much on his own, as his fatal encounter with Boddicker proved.

By becoming Robocop, that role is elevated because technically speaking, he’s better equipped than any man has ever been. He’s got a human mind, but he has a robot body, complete with bullet-proof skin and the ability to shoot with inhuman accuracy. Instead of stripping him of his masculinity and his humanity, becoming a robot actually enhanced it.

That, more than anything, is what elevates Robocop’s noble masculinity to another level. An act that should’ve utterly dehumanized him ended up making his humanity even stronger. It had to be in order to overcome OCP’s control and uncover the plot to exploit him as just another product. The fact that OCP tries and fails in the sequel to recreate him further reinforces just how unique Robocop is.

Through that journey from utter masculine deconstruction to total reaffirmation of his identity, the line between Robocop and Alex Murphy blurs. The line between carrying out noble acts and following basic programming blurs as well. In the end, Robocop isn’t just a machine following a program. He’s a man inside a machine, doing the same job he did as a man, but with much better weapons and more memorable catch phrases.

Robocop” is hailed as a classic for many reasons. Robocop, as a character, continues to be an icon, despite sub-par sequels and a failed reboot. I think a big part of that appeal comes directly from how the first movie managed to portray the best traits of masculinity within a setting where the worst often thrived.

Even in a contemporary context, beyond the current state of Detroit, Robocop conveys a powerful message that men and women alike can appreciate. You can put a good man in the worst situation, destroying and deconstructing him at every level. That same man will find a way to re-emerge and do what needs to be done.

It’s a testament to the strength of manhood and our willingness to protect innocents in an unjust world. Robocop combines the spirit of a man with the power of a machine. One need not subvert the other. In fact, one can supplement the other and, dead or alive, the criminal element of any gender doesn’t stand a chance.

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Filed under gender issues, media issues, movies, noble masculinity, political correctness, psychology

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Functioning Air Conditioner Edition

3a43a5ad804242152de7fd160d7e19d4-sexy-men-hot-menHowever, there are times when summer isn’t quite as relaxing. I learned that the hard way a couple years ago when my air conditioner broke just in time for the first heat wave of the year. It wasn’t a simple mechanical problem either. The whole system flat out died on me and had to be replaced. It wasn’t just insanely costly. It ensured I was stuck in a hot, muggy house for nearly an entire week.

It’s not a very pleasant memory, to say the least. Air conditioning is one of those wondrous modern amenities that we all take for granted. Even in the biggest heat waves, we can find relief in our air conditioned homes or cars. For most of human history, we didn’t have that luxury. When it got hot out, you just endured it. I like to think that the invention if air conditioning made it possible to really enjoy summer for all its worth.

To honor this modern wonder, as well as those whose job it is to keep these inventions going, I hereby dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the joys of having functional air conditioning. If you’re unlucky enough not to have one, I hope these sensual musings give you some comfort as you endure overpriced repairs. Enjoy!


“It’s ironic that pulling out requires self-control while not pulling out incurs danger, both of which are traits women find sexy.”


“The potential discomfort of anal sex gains a very different context for any woman who has given birth.”


“The difference between a tender kiss and foreplay is akin to the difference between a sip of whine and a shot of bourbon.”


“There’s no polite way to ask a woman whether she’s horny, but there are countless possible ways to tell when a man is horny.”


“When you think about it, allowing your lover to shave your pubic hair is one of the greatest acts of trust.”


“Sweet talk may get your lover out of their clothes, but dirty talk will keep them in your bed.”


“A couple watching porn together can either be an act of romance or an act of research.”


To all those lucky enough to have a functioning air conditioner this time of year, I urge you to counter your blessings and offer sympathy to anyone who isn’t so lucky. Also, take the time to thank the brave men and women who repair those units during this time of year. They, along with the bartenders serving margaritas on the beach, are the real heroes of summer.

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“The Mechanic” A Sexy Short Story

6cb1d8e6a4af87d5ab5e22811801b66dThe following is a sexy short story I wrote that involves car troubles, sexy mechanics, and a bad day that becomes a great day. I got the idea while dealing with some car troubles of my own. I hope the inspiration shows. Enjoy!

“God damn this piece of shit car!” exclaimed Sadie Harper at the top of her lungs.

It was official. The past four hours had been the worst of her adult life, including the time she threw up at her best friend’s wedding. In a fit of anger, she hit the hood of the butt-ugly coupe that left her stranded on the curb of the highway just hours after sunset and with storm clouds rolling in. It felt like every conceivable force in the universe had conspired against her.

“Why now of all times? Why are you doing this to me?” she groaned, kicking the tire of her car in a fit of rage. “It’s not enough I splurged five hundred bucks on new tires. Now…at a time when I just wanted to fucking get away…this happens. What the fuck did I do to deserve this?”

Sadie would’ve started crying if she weren’t so pissed. She ended up leaning over the hood of her car, catching her breath and clinging to whatever sanity she had left. It didn’t help that she heard more thunder in the distance. It was going to start pouring rain at any minute. She could feel it. That would act as a frustratingly fitting cap to the terrible day she was having.

That day was largely the byproduct of an equally terrible week. It started six days ago when she found out that the promotion she thought she’d been promised at the marking company she worked for was given to someone else – someone who happened to be a friend of the Vice President’s sister, no less. She’d made it very clear to her boss that she needed that job because she was still drowning in college debt. She couldn’t remember the excuse he’d given her, but she vividly recalled punching paper towel dispenser in the ladies room.

If that weren’t bad enough, she found out the very next day that her boyfriend of the past two years – the same boyfriend she’d been living with and relying on as she managed her debt, no less – had been cheating on her. It led to a fight that lasted several days, complete with her throwing his laptop out a window, and ended with her moving out.

That scene she made went crawling back to her parents – who she hadn’t gotten along with lately, thanks largely to her moving in with her boyfriend – had been one of the pathetic moments of her life. Even though they let her stay in the basement, they made clear that they weren’t going to solve her problems for her. She had to pull herself out from her rut.

Things finally started looking up when her oldest friend, Jessica, who lived about 300 miles away near the beach, offered to let her stay with her for an extra-long weekend. The goal, according to her, was to decompress. The only obstacle was making that 300 mile drive, but even that proved too much.

“I should stop asking myself these dumb questions,” Sadie said, looking at her reflection in the hood of her car. “I know why I ended up this screwed. I got so lucky early in life. I actually convinced myself that luck and normal were the same thing.”

Holding her head low, Sadie shook her head and groaned. She remembered vividly how her mother used to say that she’d gotten more advantages than most and not just because she inherited her good looks. She’d been in a number of situations – relationships, jobs, and various predicaments – that could’ve easily gone against her. Her mother, who had a gambling problem in her youth, told her that luck always runs out eventually.

Being the arrogant little brat she was, Sadie chose to shrug it off. She still chose to take on huge debts in college. She chose to hook up with a guy who’d cheated on his last two girlfriends. She chose to buy a used car from someone who’d claimed to have given her a huge discount. She’d worked under the assumptions that all of those choices would work out like so many others. Now, it felt like her luck had completely flipped.

“Good looks, good family, a great school…everything just came so effortlessly,” she said. “Any time I wanted a break, I got it. I know luck always runs out at some point. I just wish it didn’t have to happen now.”

The timing really couldn’t have been worse and not just because of the weather. Approximately 150 miles into her trip – the least convenient time to have car troubles, no less – the check engine light in her car came on. At first, she ignored it, hoping it was something minor. Then, she heard a dreadful pop in her engine, causing the car to stall and forcing her to pull over on a patch of unfamiliar highway.

As Sadie lamented her situation, she felt some raindrops on her face. She then looked up at the sky to see flashes of lightning. This was not going to be a simple drizzle and she was not dressed for bad weather. She wore a tank top and jean shorts, having expected to be relaxing at the beach by sundown. Given the state of her car, she’d be lucky to end up anywhere relaxing.

“Rain…figures,” she said. “I swear if I get just one little break now, I won’t take it for granted!”

Sadie kept looking up at the sky, begging whatever higher power might have been listening to grant her some mercy. The rain just fell harder, followed by more lightning. She was ready to accept the fact that there would be no luck coming her way for once.

Then, she heard a loud truck horn honk in the distance. Turning away from the sky, she saw a large tow-truck approaching. It slowed down as it drew near, allowing other cars to pass behind it. When it pulled up to her, Sadie let out her first sigh of relief.

“It’s not much, but I’ll take it,” she said.

The truck pulled over, stopping just in front of her car. As the rain fell a bit steadier, Sadie watched as the driver’s door of the truck opened and a man stepped out. Upon seeing his appearance in the stormy weather, another kind of relief took over.

“Okay, I’ll take that too,” Sadie said, managing a partial grin.

She wasn’t sure whether he was a typical tow-truck driver, but the man was pretty damn attractive. He looked only slightly older than her, wearing a baseball cap that covered long unkempt hair that perfectly matched an unshaven face. He was tall, well-muscled with broad shoulders, and had the kind of rugged disposition most would expect of someone who got his hands dirty for a living.

As he approached her, she could smell a potent combination of sweat, motor oil, and dirt. He was a stark contrast from her ex-boyfriend, who spent as much time grooming himself as any self-conscious woman she’d ever known. Between that and him arriving just before the storm, Sadie found him very attractive.

“Hi! I’m Dave Johns,” he greeted her. “You Sadie Harper?”

“Yeah, that’s me…unfortunately,” she replied with a half-grin. “Thanks for getting her so soon.”

“No problem,” Dave replied with a smile. “In this weather, you got to be quick. You don’t want to be stuck out on these roads during a storm, especially a pretty girl like you.”

She gave him a full grin that time, her first in over a week. Dave sounded like one of those overly polite mid-western, complete with a slight accent and shirt bearing NASCAR logo. He was the kind of guy who probably didn’t go to the same overpriced college she had, which meant he probably didn’t have her crippling debt either. That only made him more attractive.

“Hold tight,” he told her. “I’ll get your car hooked up fast and we’ll be on our way to the nearest repair garage. Whatever’s wrong, they’ll fix it up.”

“I hope you’re right,” she said, still smiling. “I’ve had such a god-awful day…and a god-awful week, for that matter. My car breaking down is just the icing on the cake.”

“A breakdown never helps anything,” he said. “I just hope your week wasn’t too bad.”

“Well, I lost out on a big promotion, fell even further behind on my college debt, found out my boyfriend was cheating on me, had to move back in with my parents, and broke down 150 miles from my nearest friend. On top of that, I’m pretty sure the repair bill for this car will ruin my credit forever so. Depending on your standard for bad, I’d say I’m pretty damn close.”

Dave looked over at her from the car and gave her an astonished look. He might not have believed her at first, but Sadie had always been a lousy liar. Between her tone and her demeanor, she made it abundantly clear that she was not exaggerating. Her week had really been that bad.

“Well, by my standards, I say you definitely exceed them,” Dave said.

“And given my current streak of luck, it’ll probably get worse before it gets better,” Sadie sighed, “which is why I apologize ahead of time if I act like a total bitch from here on out.”

“That’s all right. Nobody is in a good mood after their car breaks down. I understand.”

“I appreciate that, Dave, but I’m not sure I deserve understanding at this point.”

“That’s just your mood talking. Things can turn around fast in these parts. You never know.”

He almost sounded too hopeful. Then again, in an area so remote and far from home, at least someone had to be hopeful. It sure as hell wasn’t going to be her.

Despite the rain picking up, Dave worked fast. He seemed to move with greater urgency as he hooked her car up to the tow truck. In less than five minutes, they were ready to go and just in time too. The rain really started pouring. She was already shivering in her tank top and shorts. She couldn’t get into the truck fast enough.

Once inside, though, her spirits didn’t improve by much. However long it took to get to the nearest repair shop, Sadie expected the day to get worse. For all she knew, the engine was completely shot and she would be stranded, either having to rent a car or stay at a motel. Having barely had enough money for gas and food, she dreaded having to call her parents for a loan.

“Shouldn’t be more than a half-hour to the shop,” Dave told her upon starting the engine. “It’s right next to a strip mall and a motel too, just in case you need to stay the night.”

“Thanks, but that’s probably too fancy for me,” Sadie said, now staring out the window. “Between my credit card balance and that popping noise I heard in the engine, I’ll be begging on the streets for a cardboard box by sundown.”

An awkward silence fell over the truck. Dave was sweet and handsome, but he hadn’t endured the kind of day she’d just experienced. She had already taken so much frustration out on her car. The last thing she wanted to do was take it out on a nice, attractive man who didn’t deserve it.

With howling winds and loud thunder echoing overhead, they started driving. For the first five minutes or so, neither of them said a word. Sadie just rested her head on the window, dreading how much worse things would get before they got better. At the rate she was going, she’d crash face-first into rock bottom before she got another break.

Eventually, Dave broke the silence.

“Just out of curiosity, what kind of popping noise in the engine did you hear?” he asked her.

“I’m not sure,” she replied. “I know as much about cars as I do about rocket ships. I doubt I could make sense of it.”

“So try anyways,” he said. “Was it steady? Like popcorn going off one at a time? Or was it abrupt like a tire blowing out?”

Sadie thought about it for a moment. She wasn’t sure why Dave even asked. She doubted she could even answer correctly at that point. Never-the-less, she made an effort.

“More like the first one, I guess,” she told him. “It was steady. I could feel the engine struggling each time. I thought it might blow up any second.”

“That’s not how engines work,” Dave said.

“On a day like this, I just can’t take chances. When all the good luck you’ve ever had just starts kicking your ass, you just got to assume the worst and brace yourself.”

“That’s…a tough way to live.”

“Which is why I’m already bracing myself,” she said.

Sadie kept staring out the window, not wanting Dave to see the pathetic look on her face. The last thing she needed was to break down in front of a stranger, let alone an attractive man. She was content to remain silent for the rest of the trip if she could avoid then.

Then, after a particularly loud burst of thunder, Dave slowed down somewhat.

“Sadie,” he said. “About four miles up ahead, there’s an old visitors center with an empty parking garage. It’s been closed for a month because of renovation. I doubt anyone is there in this weather.”

“And you’re telling me this…why?” Sadie asked.

“Because that’s the nearest place where I can pull in and check your car,” Dave told her. “From you told me, it sounds like you just got a damaged spark plug. If that’s all it is, then I might be able to fix it right then and there…no expensive repair, no hanging out at the shop, and no bracing for the worst.”

Sadie looked over at the man next to her as though he’d just offered to perform free brain surgery. There was no way she’d just heard right. A man – a total stranger who’d she just hired to tow her car – offered to fix it for her. It sounded like the lucky break she needed, but after the day she had, she remained cautious.

“Really?” she said, trying to contain her fragile spirits. “You…you’d do that for me?”

“Well, the way I see it, you’re having such a bad day and it’ll only get worse until someone or something changes,” Dave told her. “In these parts, we don’t have much control over the something. We do have control over the someone, though. If you can be that someone, then why shouldn’t you try?”

“That sounds way too logical,” Sadie said, “especially to a girl who hasn’t had to try that hard before.”

“Is that a yes or a no? It’s still up to you.”

It sounded like a chance and at a time when pushing her luck seemed like the worst possible recourse, for that matter. Looking at Dave, though – that greasy hair, big muscles, and demeanor – Sadie felt inclined to take that risk, however bad it might turn out.

“It’s a yes!” she said. “I swear, if you can fix my car, Dave…I don’t know how I’ll begin to thank you.”

“Only one way to find out, I guess,” he said with a confident tone that made her heart skip a beat.

The next four miles went by in a blur. Just as he said, there was a visitor’s center along the highway and it was empty, aside from a bunch of construction equipment. Near as she could tell, there was nobody there. On a nicer day, it probably would’ve been swarming with contractors and road workers.

Dave pulled in, accessing a service exit that had been partially coned off. Whether or not that was legal seemed like a relevant question, but Sadie wasn’t about to ask. He then drove the tow truck into the small, two-level parking garage behind the center. It was empty, but out of the rain.

Once inside, Dave went to work once more, showing the same urgency as earlier. He turned off his truck, lowered the crane in the back, and popped the hood of her car. All Sadie could do was stand back, watch, and hug her shoulders in anticipation.

“Just give me a sec,” Dave said. “My buddy back home had a car just like this. He kept that thing running way longer than most. This thing doesn’t even have 100,000 miles on it yet. If it’s in as good a condition as it looks…”

“Please, Dave,” she said, cutting him off, “I’d rather not jinx it.”

“Ah, good idea.”

Sadie began pacing, watching the heavy rain falling in the distance. The winds settled somewhat, but the storm didn’t look ready to let up anytime soon. If Dave couldn’t fix her car, then that would only compound her problems. A great deal of her current situation, misfortune and all, depended on a total stranger – a tall, handsome stranger no less – being able to change her luck.

She didn’t even pretend to know what he was doing whenever he retrieved some tools from his truck. She didn’t keep track of time either, worried that every passing second negatively impacted her chances. She could only wait with baited breath, hoping for the best while still bracing herself for the worst.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Dave emerged from under the hood.

“I knew it!” he said. “It was a damaged spark plug.”

“Seriously?” said Sadie with sudden intrigue. “A spark plug? As in only one?”

“Yep!” he said proudly. “And as it just so happens, I got a spare from a set my brother gave me. It ain’t the fancy kind, but it’ll get you running again. You’ll be able to finish your trip and make it back.”

Sadie was speechless. She stood frozen in space, her mouth agape as Dave finished the job. With a demeanor worthy of a triumphant warrior, he retrieved a spare spark plug from his truck. Then, using a couple of tools, he replaced it in just a few minutes. Looking certain of his work, he closed the trunk and used the keys she’d given him to start her car. Much to her relief and amazement, the popping sound was gone. It ran just as well as before, if not better.

“There you have it,” Dave said with an accomplished grin as he tossed her the keys. “The check engine light is gone. Looks like you’re good to go, Sadie.”

“Dave, I…” the young woman stammered, already at a loss for words.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he told her. “It was a little thing…something I just happened to be there to fix.”

“But…I don’t even know if I can pay you,” she said, still frozen in place. “I know I got charged for the tow, but this is just too much! It’s…”

Dave then put his hand up to silence her, still smiling as though he were the lucky one. Something about that just made him even more attractive.

“Before you go calling that luck, just remember that luck only applies when you don’t have a choice,” David said. “I was here, I made that choice, and we’re both in a better place because of it.”

“Both?” she questioned.

“Of course,” he said. “The way I see it, I made my job easier by saving myself a trip to the nearest town. Plus, I fixed a car and helped a pretty lady. In my line of work, that counts as a damn good day.”

He spoke like someone who’d just one the state championship. In Sadie’s world, little things like that didn’t make a good day. There always had to be something more elaborate…something that made a bigger impact overall. By that measure, Dave didn’t achieve much. He just fixed her car. In Sadie’s eyes, though, he’d just saved her soul, her sanity, and everything in between.

Having not forgotten her earlier lamentations, which included a promise to not take lucky breaks for granted, an idea popped into the young woman’s mind as she stood before Dave. It soon led to a choice of her own.

“Dave…thank you.”

Then, in an act that caught him by surprise, for once, she threw her arms around his him, pulled him into a strong embrace, and kissed him hard on the lips. She didn’t care that he smelled like motor oil, grease, and sweat. If anything, that turned her on even more.

Dave was a bit surprised at first, but it didn’t take long for him to start kissing back. It didn’t stop there, though. As she savored his lips with hers, she eagerly pressed her body up against his, communicating a potent mix of gratitude and desire.

“Uh…you’re welcome?” Dave said with an awkward grin as their lips parted.

“Wasn’t done,” she told him. “In fact, I’m just getting started!”

To further her point, she kissed him again, but supplemented it by grabbing his hand and guided it to her breast. She also snuck her hand down over his pants, feeling just over his crotch to help get the blood flowing in the right direction.

A man who’d done that much for her on such a terrible day deserved more than just a kiss and a hug. Sadie was going to make Dave feel as lucky as her. He embraced that luck as much as her, offering no resistance as she led him towards the hood of her car. Along the way, she removed her tank top and bra, which had become too wet for comfort anyway. Once off, she guided both hands to her fleshy mounds.

“Here…feel my tits,” she said, urging him to rub them.

“Dang…those are nice,” Dave said, already sounding drunk on lust.

“Enjoy them while I get you out of those dirty pants!”

That came off as more aggressive and seductive than she’d expected, especially after the day she’d had. It was only fitting, though. Dave made the extra effort for her. It was only fair that she do the same for him.

As he enjoyed fondling her breasts, Sadie made quick work of his belt buckle and jeans. They were loose, dirty, and had multiple oil stains. That didn’t bother her, though. As soon as they were down at his ankles, along with his underwear, she dropped to her knees to focus on his cock. In another striking turn of luck, Dave was very well-endowed.

“Have a seat,” she told him. “Let me thank you properly.”

“Properly…sure,” Dave said with a goofy grin.

Now sitting on the hood of her car, Sadie wasted no time in giving the rugged, mechanically-inclined man the best oral sex she’d ever given. Grasping the base of his shaft with both hands, she hungrily took in his entire length and began sucking, trailing her lips and tongue along his manly flesh.

It was somewhat striking since Sadie didn’t usually put that much effort into giving blowjobs. With her ex-boyfriend, it had just been a necessary part of the process. She didn’t necessarily despise it, but she’d never felt overly eager to suck a dick. That all changed with Dave. She treated sucking his cock with the same urgency as he’d shown with her car.

“Ohhh Sadie!” he moaned. “That feels so good!”

Leaning back on her car, moaning blissfully, encouraged Sadie. His pleasure was a tangible sign that her gratitude was being conveyed, but she still wasn’t done.

As she stepped up the pace of her oral teasing, she undid her jean short and reached into her panties to find that she was already getting wet. In the spirit of the urgency, she fingered her moist folds to accelerate her arousal. She could already feel Dave’s cock throbbing in her mouth. Looking up at him, she sensed he wanted more. Moreover, she wanted to give him more.

Once certain that they were both aroused, she gave his dick one last lick and shot up to her feet. She then pulled her shorts down, panties and all, rendering her naked and exposed in the dank parking garage with the storm still raging outside. Having never had sex outside a bedroom or a living room, something about that feeling just excited her to no end.

“Fuck me, Dave,” she told him. “Fuck me over the hood of my car.”

“That’s…a hell of a way to thank a guy,” he said with a lustful grin.

“It’s not just gratitude. It’s me not taking for granted the lucky turn I’ve enjoyed.”

Whether or not he agreed with her logic seemed irrelevant now. Like a man who’d just won the jackpot, Dave got up from the car and took her in those strong, burly arms of hers. Sadie instinctively jumped him, allowing him to catch her naked body in mid-air. As she smothered his rugged complexion with more kisses, he set her down on the hood of her car, her butt making contact with the wet surface that she’d been angrily pounding with her fist earlier.

Moving with the same intent that she’d shown while giving him oral sex, Dave positioned himself between her legs, holding them wide open as he guided his cock to her wet entrance. As soon as she felt the tip brush against her wet folds, he thrust his hips forward, driving his manly flesh up into her depths.

“Sadie…so hot and tight,” Dave grunted.

“That’s it, Dave!” she told him. “Give it to me! Do it to me!”

Those same powerful hands that fixed her car clung harder to her thighs as he began fucking her, working his hips back and forth, pumping his rigid manhood within her tight depths. Sadie’s body and her world rocked in accord with each movement. There was so much power and strength in his thrusts, each act exuding a kind of unfiltered manliness the likes of which she never experienced at her overpriced college.

It was so hot, his strength projecting into her through their sex. It didn’t matter that the winds from the storm blew through the garage or that the hood of her car was so wet from the rain. It unleashed in Sadie a wild lust that felt so cathartic, especially after the week she’d had.

“Yes! Oh yes! Ohhh Dave!” Sadie cried out through successive moans. “So strong…so tough…I love it!”

Dave replied only with focused, manly grunts. That just sent her instincts into overdrive. At one point, she even reached up, grabbed his dirty shirt, and pulled it off over her head, revealing an ungroomed chest covered in masculine sinews. It was enough to overwhelm her senses to the point of ecstasy, that raw strength and manpower sending her to orgasm.

“I’m coming, Dave! I’m coming!” she cried out. “Please…keep…fucking me!”

When the feeling struck, it coincided with a flash of lighting and a loud round of thunder. That didn’t matter, though. Even the loudest sounds of nature couldn’t mute her cries of ecstasy.

Sadie still arched her back, squeezed her bouncing breasts, and led out the kind of orgasmic moan that she wanted the heavens to hear. The heat that had been building in her core turned to a white hot flame of ecstasy that spread throughout her body, turning the muggy air into an aura of contentment. The way Dave responded, gazing upon her with a mix of awe and affection, made it all the more satisfying.

He slowed down to let her enjoy her orgasm, but did not cease their heated sex. He kept pumping his rigid flesh into her, conveying his strength and his lust with every movement. Sadie gladly adjusted and shifted her body to accommodate his lustful whims, hitching her legs up higher so he could fuck her at a faster pace. She even got on her side at one point so he could fuck her at an angle.

Sadie remained committed to helping her generous, mechanically-inclined companion achieve the same orgasm she’d felt. That eventually led her to being bent over the hood of her car, her breasts pressing right up against the wet surface while he fucked her from behind, holding her left leg up slightly to get in at just the right angle. That seemed to give Dave the room he needed to achieve that same sweet bliss.

“Almost…there,” he grunted in between thrust. “Sadie…gonna come…soon!”

“Good!” Sadie said. “Want to…come on my…tits?”

“Yes, please!” Dave said without hesitation.

Sadie grinned to herself. With the way he’d been fondling her breasts earlier, she surmised he’d enjoy that. She’d learned with her ex-boyfriend how men liked to communicate their sexy quirks. For a man who’d made the worst day of her life memorable for all the right reasons, he deserved nothing less.

After a bit more hard thrusting, Dave promptly withdrew his cock from her pussy and pulled her in closer so that his dick was aligned with her tits. Sadie, now gazing up at him with her most seductive glance, mashed her breasts together as he aimed his cock at her fleshy mounds.

In the midst of another round of thunder, the rugged man let out a deep moan that echoed throughout the garage as he released a thick load of cum onto her tits. It was messy, chaotic, and everything she used to avoid with her ex-boyfriend. Somehow, that made it all the more satisfying.

“A good man deserves more than luck,” Sadie found herself saying. “It’s the choices of others that make him feel lucky!”

She wasn’t sure whether he heard that, his face awash in pleasure from his orgasm. It still felt like something that needed to be said. She helped further her point by giving his throbbing cock a few more sensual licks, making sure his manly juices didn’t go to waste.

Now breathing heavily and awash in contentment, the Dave’s legs gave out and he sat down on the hood of the car. Her breasts still covered in his cum, she sat next. Now leaning on each other for support, they lingered there, naked and alone in a dirty garage with a storm raging all around them.

After so many things going wrong over the past week, it felt like more than another lucky break. It felt like a moment of clarity, one that came courtesy of an incredible, not-to-mention handsome man who’d made her day with a simple choice. The fact they had great sex was just a nice bonus.

“Now…can I say you’re welcome?” Dave said with a playful grin.

“Sure, Dave,” she said with a beaming grin. “I think I’ve thanked you enough for fixing my car.”

“Lucky me, eh?” he joked.

“Ha! Lucky indeed.”

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How To Disappoint (But NOT Destroy) An Iconic Romance In Batman #50

688356-_sx1280_ql80_ttd_It’s been a rough summer for fans of romance, superheroes, and superhero weddings. In fact, in all the years I’ve been reading comics and following romantic sub-plots, I can’t remember a time when there was this much melodrama and heartbreak. I understand that any epic romance is going to involve a healthy bit of emotional strain, especially when it involves superheroes. There comes a point when it just becomes too much.After the deconstruction and denigration of superhero romance that unfolded in X-men Gold #30, I feel like we’re dangerously close to that point. It’s as though everyone involved in making superhero comics is admitting that superheroes can’t get married. They can’t have a functional, compelling romance and still be interesting.That sort of sentiment is basically an affirmation of Marvel’s justification for undoing Spider-Man’s marriage to Mary Jane Watson in the infamous One More Day story. Given the relative infamy of that story line and the recent upheaval with the X-men, many fans of both superheroes and romance were placing a lot of hope that the wedding of Batman and Catwoman could help stop the bleeding in Batman #50.I certainly counted myself among those who was very excited about this event. I even admit I really wanted this to make up for the disheartening outcome of X-men Gold #30. The romantic in me wanted at least one superhero wedding this summer that didn’t end in heartbreak or tragedy.Well, if you saw the same spoilers in the New York Times that I did just two days before Batman #50 came out, you already know that’s not what happened. Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle did not get married. That means in terms of superhero weddings, the summer of 2018 is now 0 for 2.However, that outcome did not compound my lingering disappointment from X-men Gold #30. I’ll even go so far as to say that Batman #50 didn’t send the state of superhero romance past the point of no return. It didn’t improve the state of affairs. It was disappointing, but not to the point where it damaged a story or a romance beyond repair.Before I explain, I want to establish that many of the details beyond this point are heavy spoilers. Seeing as how this comic was already spoiled a couple days prior to its release, much to the chagrin of comic retailers, I don’t think I need to place too many warnings. I still recommend that people buy the comic, but there’s more going on here than a wedding that didn’t happen, much more so than what we saw in X-men Gold #30.By nearly every measure, Batman #50 approaches the concept of a superhero wedding differently than X-men Gold #30. The wedding of Kitty Pryde and Colossus was set up as this big, momentous affair between an established couple that overcame a lot just to have the opportunity to get married. They brought in friends, family, and fellow superheroes from across the X-men comics.In contrast, the ceremony in Batman #50 was very small. In fact, there wasn’t much of a ceremony to speak of. The only ones who were present besides Batman and Catwoman were Aflred, Bruce Wayne’s butler and long-time confidante, and a lone judge who was already drunk so that he wouldn’t remember his or Catwoman’s identity. Batman always has a plan for that sort of thing. That’s why he’s Batman.On top of that, Batman is the one who proposed to Catwoman back in Batman #24. He’s the one who pitched the idea of getting married in the first place. That’s critical because Kitty Pryde was the one who proposed to Colossus in X-men Gold #20. That matters because she’s also the one who broke it off and at the last second, no less. Things were a bit less cruel in Batman #50 and that’s saying something for a Batman comic.At one point in the story, Batman makes clear that he still wants to marry Catwoman. He’s not having second thoughts. It’s Catwoman who makes the fateful decision to break it off and she doesn’t wait until half-way through the ceremony, either. To put that another way, an admitted jewel thief who enjoys having sex on rooftops showed more decency than Kitty Pryde on her failed wedding day.It’s not a public spectacle that turns into an equally public debacle. It’s a private affair that simply doesn’t pan out. There’s no awkward reception. There’s no attempt to salvage it by shoehorning another romance into the mix just so someone gets married, as though such romances can be swapped out like batteries. It just doesn’t happen.Moreover, Catwoman actually gives a reason for not going through with the wedding and, unlike Kitty Pryde, it’s not a wholly contrived. She establishes throughout Batman #50, through a series of montages documenting their romance over the years, why she loves him and why he’s such an effective hero. In the process, she reveals something profound about Batman.What makes Batman both effective and iconic is how he takes the pain of a tragedy, namely the death of his parents, and turns it into strength. The same pain that would break a lesser man drives him to do so much more. He’s the Dark Knight who defends Gotham. He’s a hero who deserves to fight alongside demigods and aliens on the Justice League. For him to be Batman, he needs that pain to fuel him.From Catwoman’s perspective, Batman finding happiness means denying him the fuel he needs to be Batman. That’s not a realization that just randomly pops into her mind at the last second, though. This is something the Joker actually points out to her in Batman #49. It has less to do with whether or not she loves him and more to do with him being the hero that Gotham needs.That doesn’t make Catwoman’s decision any less disappointing, but it’s still nowhere near as callous or selfish as Kitty Pryde’s decision in X-men Gold #30. I know it’s somewhat unfair to keep comparing the two, given the different circumstances of their relationship, but those distinctions highlight an important element that the failed Batman/Catwoman wedding has that the Colossus/Kitty Pryde wedding didn’t.What happens in Batman #50 is definitely a setback for Batman and Catwoman’s relationship, but it doesn’t fundamentally destroy it. In fact, there’s a very critical detail at the end of the issue that leaves the door open for this romance to keep evolving. I won’t spoil it, but it unfolds in such a way that makes romance fans like me want to root for this relationship.The same definitely cannot be said for the Colossus/Kitty Pryde relationship. After the way things played out during their wedding, it really feels as though their romance is damaged beyond repair. It’s no longer a love story. It’s an outright tragedy, one that would need an even greater contrivance to repair at this point. In a universe with shape-shifting aliens, though, that’s not wholly unfeasible.In the grand scheme of things, Batman #50 is still disappointing in the sense that it doesn’t let Batman and Catwoman take their love story to another level. In fact, not a whole lot changes. The way it plays out feels more like a setback rather than a tragedy. The writer of the comic, Tom King, even claims it’s just part of a much larger narrative between Batman and Catwoman.How that story will play out remains to be seen. Given how long it took Batman and Catwoman to get to a point where they try to get married, Batman #50 already gives the impression that their romance is being dragged out. For a couple who has been off and on again since the 1940s, that’s saying something.If I had to score Batman #50, as both a comic book fan and a romance fan, I’d give it a 6 out of 10. It’s a bit of a letdown, but it’s not nearly as soul-crushing as X-men Gold #30. It still leaves the state of superhero romance in a very precarious state, but at the very least, this book gives me reason for hope.I’ll still be very skeptical of any future superhero wedding for the foreseeable future, though.

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Filed under Comic Books, Jack Fisher, Superheroes, Marriage and Relationships, romance

The (Other) Implications Of The Technology In “Jurassic World”

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Movies and TV have a long and colorful history of predicting future technology. The predictions made by “The Simpsons,” alone, are as uncanny as they are creepy. Even when they get the basic laws of physics horribly wrong, they can provide insight into the trends that may very well define our future.

On the spectrum of movies that envision future technology, the “Jurassic Park” franchise occupies a strange part of that spectrum. The original movie, as beloved and successful as it is, did a poor job of predicting the potential of genetic engineering. The entire plot of the movie hinged on the ability of scientists to find sufficiently intact DNA from a 65-million-year-old mosquito and use that to recreate dinosaurs.

Anyone with a passing knowledge of math and the half-life of DNA knows that’s just not possible in the real world. No matter how well-preserved a fossil is, the bonds holding DNA together dissolve completely after about 7 million years so the scientists in “Jurassic Park” wouldn’t even have fragments to work with.

That’s not to say it’s impossible to bring back an extinct species. If you have intact DNA, and we do have it for extinct animals like Mammoths, then there’s no reason why science can’t recreate a creature that no longer exists. The only challenge is gestating the animal without a surrogate, but that’s just an engineering challenge that will likely be solved once artificial wombs are perfected.

Even with that advancement, it would be too late for dinosaurs. Technically, if you had enough working knowledge of how DNA works and how to create an animal from scratch, you could create something that looked like a dinosaur. In fact, it’s already a popular fan theory that none of the animals in “Jurassic Park” were actually dinosaurs. It’s one of the few fan theories that might have been confirmed on screen.

Those theories aside, it’s the the technology on display in “Jurassic World” that has far greater implications. By that, I don’t mean it’ll bring back dinosaurs or other extinct species. It may actually do something much more profound.

Unlike the original movies, both “Jurassic World” and the sequel, “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom,” don’t stop at just bringing back dinosaurs. These movies take place in a world where that spectacle isn’t that exciting anymore. As a result, they start splicing the DNA of other dinosaurs together to create new species, namely the Indominous Rex and the Indoraptor.

While this creates for great action scenes and plenty of dinosaur-driven combat, the true implications of this technology are lost in the spectacle. Take a moment to consider what the science within these movies accomplished. Then, consider what that means for the real world and the future of the human race.

These dinosaurs were not the product of evolution. Evolution works within some pretty rigid limits. It’s a slow, clunky, arduous process that takes a lot of time and a lot of extinction. On top of that, the basic laws of heredity and the inherent limits of hybridization ensure that the transmission of certain traits are next to impossible through natural means.

However, as Dr. Wu himself stated in “Jurassic World,” there’s nothing natural about what what they did. Essentially, the scientists in that movie used the genetic and evolutionary equivalent of a cheat code. There were no barriers to combining the DNA of a T-Rex with that of a Raptor. They just cut and pasted DNA in the same way you would cut and paste text on a word document.

That should sound somewhat familiar to those who have followed this website because that’s exactly what CRISPR does to some extent. It’s basically the cut function for DNA and it exists in the real world. The paste function exists too, although it’s not quite as refined. To that extent, “Jurassic World” is fairly accurate in terms of the technology they used to create the Indominous Rex and Indoraptor.

That’s not to say it’s possible to create the exact same creatures depicted in the movies. There are various anatomical limits to how big, fast, or smart a creature can be, even if there are no genetic barriers to contend with. I don’t know if the creatures created in “Jurassic World” could function in the real world, but the science for making them does exist, albeit in a limited capacity.

That, in and of itself, is a remarkable notion and one that makes the original “Jurassic Park” seem slightly more incredible. If anything, the original movie underestimated the progress that science would make in genetic engineering. That movie just had science rebuilding life from the remnants of existing creatures. We’ve already progressed to the point where we’re starting to make synthetic life from scratch.

This kind of technology has implications that go far beyond bringing extinct animals back from the dead or creating new ones that make for great fight scenes in a movie. It actually has the potential to circumvent evolution entirely in the struggle for survival. “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” even explores this concept, but only to a point.

Without getting too deep into spoiler territory, this movie builds on the same genetics technology that “Jurassic World” introduced with the Indominous Rex. However, it isn’t just applied to dinosaurs. The sequel dares to contemplate how this technology could be used on humans or to supplement human abilities.

It’s not that radical a concept. Humans have, after all, used technology and breeding techniques to domesticate animals that have aided our efforts to become the dominant species on this planet. That process is still hindered by the hard limits of biology. The process in “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” is not bound by those limits.

In this movie, dinosaurs go beyond a spectacle at a theme park. They suddenly become a potential asset to further augment human abilities. Some, such as Jeff Goldblum’s character, Ian Malcolm, would argue that such creatures pose a risk to humanity’s survival. I doubt I’m as smart as Dr. Malcolm, but I’d also argue that he’s underselling just how dominant human beings are at the moment.

Maybe if dinosaurs had come back 1,000 years ago when humans were still using swords, spears, and arrows to fight animals, we might have had a problem. Today, humans have access to machine guns, tanks, and combat drones. Even the apex predators of the Jurassic don’t stand a chance.

I would further argue that the same technology that the scientists in “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” used to make the Indoraptor is even more valuable in terms of how it can affect humans. After all, if you can copy and paste desirable traits into a dinosaur, then you can do the same to a human.

Doing that might cause plenty of ethical issues that Dr. Malcolm has articulated before, but there’s one factor that overshadows all those arguments and that’s the survival of our species. Let’s face it, the human has its limits. We can’t breathe underwater. Our skin is soft and vulnerable. Our immune system has room for improvement.

There are other mammals out there who can survive extreme cold. There are animals whose immune systems are much more effective than ours. There are even some animals that don’t even age. Nature has already solved many of the problems that hinder the human species today. It’s just a matter of taking those solutions and integrating them into our own biology.

If the technology in “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” can create a creature as advanced as the Indoraptor, then there’s no reason why it can’t also create a human who has the muscle strength of a mountain gorilla, the immune system of an alligator, and the longevity of a tortoise. That kind of application is far more impactful than creating fancy zoo attractions.

I imagine that Dr. Malcolm might still warn about the use of this technology, but it may actually be an even greater risk to not use it. Again, it comes back to survival. Eventually, the Earth is going to die, either by the destruction of our sun or some other external force. If we’re to survive beyond that, we need to be able to survive outside one planet.

As it stands, the human species just isn’t built for that. It shows in how poorly our bodies react to space travel. It also shows in how much we struggle to survive in certain environments. To some extent, we must use the technology in “Jurassic World” to improve our survival.

Whether that involves tweaking our genetics with traits from more robust animals or creating pet raptors that help protect us, this technology has uses that are both profound and necessary. There’s still plenty of danger, although it’s doubtful any of that danger entails someone getting eaten by a T-Rex. However, it’s a danger we’ll have to confront whether the Ian Malcolms of the world like it or not.

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Filed under futurism, gender issues, human nature, movies