Chris Pratt, Religious Celebrities, And Why We Should Be Concerned

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In general, celebrities operate on an entirely different level of reality than non-celebrities. Their concept of normal is so skewed, so distorted, and so out of touch that it’s hard to relate to them. Just read up on the weird things Gwyneth Paltrow has said in recent years for proof of that.

Even if they are out of touch, it is possible for celebrities to be genuinely decent people and succeed in an industry known for horrendous corruption. Some celebrities do work that legitimately makes the world a better place. By most measures, Chris Pratt of “Parks and Recreation” and “Guardians of the Galaxy” fame is one of them.

I consider myself a fan of his. Mr. Pratt has done many things that have won him the respect and admiration of many. Just read the stories about him visited children’s hospitals and try not to like him. While he has undergone some unfortunate upheavals in recent years after his divorce from actress Anna Farris, he has generally managed himself well in the world of celebrity culture.

However, recent events surrounding Mr. Pratt may be cause for concern. While I doubt he’s heading towards the kind of celebrity meltdowns that have doomed others, I think there is reason to worry about the effects that continued fame, celebrity, and wealth will have on him. That’s because those effects may be compounded by another huge complication, namely that of organized religion.

While Mr. Pratt has not hidden the fact that he’s religious, it recently became an issue when Ellen Page, a noted LBGT activist, called him out for attending a church that has a history of anti-gay rhetoric. Now, as someone who has levied plenty of criticism about religion before, I generally support pointing out the injustices and absurdities of religion. In this case, I’m surprised by the backlash.

In general, Ms. Page was subject to significant attacks for her criticism. She was made out to be the bully here and she’s someone who was subject to deplorable treatment by the director who botched X3. In general, people are siding with Mr. Pratt, saying that Ms. Page was out of line for criticizing him for the church he attended.

Personally, I don’t think Ms. Page went about her criticism the right way. Given the horrendous attacks religious organizations have orchestrated against the LGBT community, I don’t blame her for being vocal. This incident, however, and the way Mr. Pratt responded to it leaves me concerned about the cumulative impact that celebrity and religion will have on him.

To understand the extent of those concerns, you need look no further than another famous Hollywood actor who was also respected, popular, and religious. That actor is Mel Gibson. Today, he’s more a joke and an internet meme. However, it wasn’t that long ago when he was Hollywood’s golden boy.

Like Mr. Pratt now, Mel Gibson a successful action star who could also do comedy and drama. For a time, he was the actor many women in and outside of Hollywood swooned over. I know because at one point, my mother admitted to having a major crush on him and having seen some of his old movies, I honestly can’t blame her.

While Mr. Gibson didn’t make a big deal of his religion for the most part, it did rear its influence when he went through his infamous meltdown in 2006. Even after he apologized for that incident, his streak of making anti-Semitic comments has become somewhat normal. As a result, his once-impeccable reputation is a distant memory.

That’s not a fate that anyone deserves, especially Mr. Pratt. Now, I would argue that he’s in a better position than Mr. Gibson was. The various stories surrounding him and the people who work with him paint him as someone who manages himself very well. I would be genuinely surprised if Mr. Pratt ever underwent a similar meltdown.

That said, there is still a distressing history of religion having a less-than-beneficial impact on celebrities. Whether it’s Kirk Cameron encouraging people to not use their critical thinking skills in the name of Christianity or Tom Cruise bashing psychiatry in the name of Scientology, religion can turn respectable celebrities into an embodiment of perverse religious dogma.

In certain circumstances, they can even help compound that dogma. Celebrities already wield more influence than most priests, mullahs, monks, or rabbis. Religious organizations have a strong incentive to cater to and hold onto celebrity adherents. That way when these celebrities say something about their religion, people are more inclined to listen.

Some celebrities do this willingly and freely. Others are guided towards it. It’s well-documented that Tom Cruise gets special treatment in the Church of Scientology. While we don’t know if Mr. Pratt’s church does something similar for him, they certainly have a reason to do whatever they need to do for him to maintain his support and his money, by default.

At the moment, Mr. Pratt’s church is not on the same level as Scientology or even the Catholic Church. By most measures, it’s a fairly standard conservative Christian church that holds positions that won’t surprise anyone who know anything about religiously-motivated morality. It still holds questionable beliefs and wields more influence than most local churches.

Depending on how Mr. Pratt manages that influence, he could either keep his religious affairs private or go down the path of someone like Kirk Cameron, celebrities whose excessive religiosity hinders their respectability. On top of that, it could lead to him starring in some exceedingly awful movies.

The worst case scenario for Mr. Pratt would be something on the level of Mel Gibson, a meltdown that permanently taints his once-golden image as a likable pretty boy who visits children’s hospitals. I don’t think he deserves that. No celebrity deserves a downfall like that, but religion does tend to make that slope a little steeper.

I haven’t met Chris Pratt and I probably never will, but based on what is publicly known, he’s a good man who has done plenty to deserve our respect. Religion, for the most part, doesn’t change that. However, when taken to extremes, as some celebrities have shown, it can reveal just how corrosive certain dogma can be to otherwise decent people.

As Stephen Weinberg once said of religion, “With or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.” Mr. Pratt is a good person and it would be nothing short of tragic if his sincerely held faith did something to undermine that. Even if you don’t agree with Ms. Page for calling him out, her concerns are still valid.

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Imagining My Perfect Valentine’s Day

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A while back, I imagined what my perfect Christmas would be if I had unlimited resources. Since Christmas is my favorite holiday, it was not too difficult to imagine. When you love a certain occasion, it’s easy to let your imagination run wild. For Valentine’s Day, though, it’s a bit trickier.

At the moment, I’m single. I haven’t been in a serious relationship for quite some time. My reasons for that are many, but I’d rather not focus on that for the moment. Instead, I’d like to push my imagination once more, while also mixing in my fondness for romance, to contemplate the perfect Valentine’s Day.

To do so requires that I be in a relationship, so for this scenario to work, I’m going to use a similar set of rules that I used for Christmas. Once again, that means money is no object. Either I’ve won the lottery or one of my novels became a best seller. Whatever the case, I’m unbound by financial constraints and I have whatever resources I desire, be they tangible assets or logistical know-how.

In addition to those resources, I’ll operate under the assumption that I’m with someone I’m deeply in love with. It doesn’t matter whether we’re married or not. At the very least, we already live together and we’ve a couple long enough to know that our love is serious. It’s not a fling or one of those brief relationships that isn’t supposed to last too long. This is the real deal.

With those parameters in place, here’s how I envision my perfect Valentine’s Day playing out with my lover. Please note that I’ll leave some details ambiguous so that things are flexible between me and my lover. The goal is still the same, though. I want me and my lover to have the greatest Valentine’s Day possible and this is just one way of going about that.

It begins a full month before Valentine’s Day. At some point in mid-January, I ask my love to pick a tropical locale. It doesn’t matter where it is, so long as it has a beach, warm weather, and plenty of places for us to be romantic. Whether it’s the Bahamas, South America, Mexico, or Southeast Asia, I leave it entirely up to her.

Once she makes her choice, I spend the rest of the month making appropriate plans. First, I find the fanciest, most luxurious hotel there is. I then reserve the most expensive suite there is. If necessary, I’ll buy out an entire floor. On top of that, I’ll request that the staff be ready to prepare any of my love’s favorite meals, whether it’s a fancy steak, exotic seafood, or a microwave pizza.

In addition to the food, I’ll make sure to reserve a private portion of the beach, just for us. It doesn’t have to be the entire beach. It just has to be big enough for us to enjoy some privacy, especially if we feel the need to engage in nude sunbathing, nude swimming, or anything other romantic activities that may require nudity.

After those preparations are made, I plan for me and my love to fly out to our tropical destination the day before Valentine’s Day. I make sure the trip itself is romantic. We travel to the airport in a limousine, complete with champagne and snacks. We then fly out on a private jet. There’s no waiting in long lines or being stuck at an airport. We get in and take off as quickly as possible, so as to maximize our time at the beach.

While on route in the air, we share a pre-prepared meal meant to replicate the first meal we shared on our date. As we dine, we also watch the first movie we ever saw together, whatever it might be. Then, depending on how long the trip is, we make love before taking a nice long nap until we arrive at our destination.

Once we’re there, we depart from the private jet, enter another limo, and make our way to the hotel. If we have time, we make love again in the back while enjoying some more champagne, whichever comes first. Upon arriving at the hotel, we settle into our room, get a nice meal if we’re hungry, and go for a nice long walk together on the beach.

From there, things get less structured. We just relax, explore our surroundings, and rest up for an eventful day tomorrow. Before we got to sleep that night, we make love again and we make sure we’re not disturbed. We then settle into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning is Valentine’s Day. As such, we sleep in as long as we please. If we’re in the mood, we make love again. If not, we simply order breakfast in bed and dine naked together. We then share a nice long shower together, followed by a romantic stroll on the beach. Clothing is entirely optional for the most part and discouraged in most instances.

We spend the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon just lounging together on the private areas we reserved. We relax, go swimming, and make love in whatever way we please. Every distraction is minimized. Ever comfort is provided, be it food or suntan lotion.

After a day on the beach, we return to the hotel where we spend the afternoon getting pampered in a spa. We each take turns getting massages. We spend ample time in a hot tub together. Again, clothing is entirely optional or discouraged. Once we’re sufficiently pampered, we retire to our room where a buffet of our favorite food and deserts await us.

As we dine, we have a mini-marathon of our favorite movies and TV shows. We binge as much as we can, recounting the moments they inspired and the passions they evoked. Along the way, we snuggle as much as possible, making love whenever possible. We try to make use of every hour of the day, right up until midnight.

Finally, in the last hour of Valentine’s Day, I carry my lover back to the bedroom, sit her down, and read her a special poem I wrote just for that day. I make sure it’s the most romantic, heart-felt thing I’ve ever written. I say every word with the utmost passion. Then, once I’m finished, I curl up with her in bed, make love to her one last time, and settle into a peaceful sleep just as the clock strikes midnight.

There you have it. That is my vision for the perfect Valentine’s Day. I know it involved a lot of nudity and lovemaking. I’m not going to apologize for that. This is simply my vision for the greatest day of romance I can conjure for my lover. I only hope that one day I meet someone with which I can share such a romance. Until then, I’m content to keep imagining and hope it inspires plenty of sexy stories.

If you have your own vision for the perfect Valentine’s Day, I’d love to hear it. For everyone else lucky enough to have a lover in their lives, I wish you a happy and sexy Valentine’s Day.

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Jack Fisher’s Weekly Comic Quick Pick: Ms. Marvel #38

Fridays may be everyone else’s favorite non-weekend day of the week, but ask most comic book fans and they’ll say Wednesday holds a special place in their hearts. It’s that magical day when a new batch of comics enters the world and our souls are nourished by their awesome. I don’t care what kind of a week I’m having. When new comics come out on Wednesday, I find a reason to smile.

This week, with Valentine’s Day coming up and me being single, I needed more reasons than usual. Thankfully, this week brought us Ms. Marvel #38 and I’m already feeling the love. It also happens to be the five-year anniversary since her landmark debut. Given all the awards and accolades she received in that time, this definitely qualifies as a milestone worth celebrating.

I’ve gone out of my way to praise Kamala Khan before, citing her as a prime example of how to do female superheroes right in this crazy era. She’s young, lovable, determined, and idealistic. She’s also relatable, dealing with the same problems that most stressed out teenagers from Jersey City often deal with. If the past five years of comics haven’t convinced you of that, then Ms. Marvel #38 should help make that point.

This milestone issue is a one-shot, self-contained story that starts off with Kamala being in a miserable mood. Then, after a brief, but colorful adventure with her friends, she remembers that being pissed off all day is a waste of a perfectly good day. It’s simple. Writer G. Willow Wilson doesn’t try to reinvent Kamala here. She just affirms why she has come as far as she has in five years.

A big part of that process involves highlighting the parts of Kamala’s life that don’t involve costumed villains, superpowers, and dealing with Deadpool’s dirty jokes. Wilson takes the time to show Kamala dealing with parents, siblings, and just getting to school on a day when she feels like crap. It may seem mundane, but Wilson uses it to humanize Kamala at every turn.

In the same tradition of Peter Parker’s Spider-Man, Kamala Khan’s Ms. Marvel is a teenage girl first and a superhero on the side. She doesn’t have the luxury of mixing her personal life with that of her superhero life. Both affect the other and rarely in a good way. She wants to be a superhero, but she doesn’t want to stop being Kamala Khan. That’s not just a challenge. It’s overwhelming.

The stress really gets to her in this Ms. Marvel #38. Even without some major villain attacking, she’s doubting herself and her ability to manage everything. Then, she finds herself plucked into a strange new dimension where the most cheesy tropes of old RPG games come to life. If it sounds random, that’s because it is, but that’s exactly why it works.

Like a double shot of espresso and a slap upside the head, Kamala has to stop moping and be Ms. Marvel. At the same time, she has to help her friends who get sucked into this world as well. Nakia, Zoe, and Bruno do not have superpowers. However, they still end up helping Kamala every bit as much as her powers.

It’s one of the most common, but powerful themes of Ms. Marvel comics. Whereas supporting characters often end up being complications and liabilities for many heroes, Kamala’s supporting cast often supplement her heroics rather than hinder them. Sure, they still have to be rescued every now and then, but it never feels like anyone is a damsel.

There’s also more to this little dive into the world of overdone video game themes than just giving Kamala an adventure to go on. In between the colorful visuals that artist Nico Leon provides every step of the way, there are a few powerful moments in which Kamala and her friends realize how much they’ve grown and how much they haven’t.

It’s a fitting testament to how far Kamala Khan has come in the past five years. On some levels, she’s the same insecure girl she was before she got her powers. On others, she’s grown a lot since then. Having watched her grow since her debut issue, I found Ms. Marvel #38 to be a satisfying testament to the kind of hero she has become.

For that reason and plenty others, Ms. Marvel #38 is an easy choice for my weekly quick pick. Even if you haven’t been following Kamala Khan’s story too closely at this point, this wonderfully-crafted, self-contained story will help reveal why she has become such a big deal in comics in the past five years. Hopefully, the next five years are just as enjoyable, especially if she ever finds her way into the MCU.

Beyond being a teenager, a girl, and a fan of superheroes and video games, Kamala Khan’s journey is one that’s easy to follow and even easier to root for. She starts off having a bad day and you can’t help but want to see her turn it around. We’ve all had bad days. Some are so bad that even superpowers can’t cheer us up. However, Ms. Marvel finds a way because she’s just that special.

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Lessons From My First (Failed) Crush

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Being a teenager sucks. Unless you’re a star athlete, an attractive cheerleader, or the child of a filthy rich celebrity, there’s a high probability that you’ll be overwhelmed by the experience. Some people handle it better than others. I can say without question that I was not one of those people. If I were to get a grade on how I handled being a teenager, I probably would’ve gotten a C-minus at best.

As rough as it can be, you can learn a thing or two during your teenage years and I’m not just referring to the awkward changes that come with puberty. We don’t have much choice in how our bodies mature with age, but we do have a choice in how we handle the harsh lessons that come our way. In the interest of sharing some personal insights, which I’ve done before, I’d to revisit a lesson I learned about love.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I think it’s fitting. Those lucky enough to have a special someone to spend the day with probably had to endure plenty of hardship to achieve what they had. I’m not afraid to admit that I envy those people. However, seeing as how I am such a romance fan, I’m not bitter. Why else would I spend so much time writing sexy novels and sexy short stories?

That said, there’s a difference between being a fan of romance and actually pursuing it. That was part of the lesson I learned with this particular incident. It occurred right around the time I started high school, which was already plenty miserable for me. I’ve already gone on record as saying how much I hated high school and those first few years were some of the worst.

There were, however, a select few reasons that made high school worth going to back then. One of those reasons was the first girl I ever had a serious crush on. It’s almost as corny as it sounds, but I won’t apologize for it. I was a lonely, miserable teenager who was just starting to develop a terrible acne problem that would plague me for the next five years. I wanted to connect with someone.

On top of that, I was a closeted romance fan. I genuinely wanted to seek the kind of love that I saw in comics, TV shows, and movies. I wanted to be part of my own love story and when I saw this girl, I felt like she could be part of that. I know that sounds like the musings of a love-sick teenage boy who listened to one too many boy bands, but that’s how I felt.

I still remember the first, last, and middle name of my first crush. Out of respect, I won’t share it. For the sake of keeping this story coherent, I’ll call her Angela. Without getting too descriptive, I’ll just say she was cute in a way that would always brighten your day. It doesn’t matter if you lost a fight, failed a mid-term, and got detention. One smile from Angela was enough to make everything in your world feel right.

I know that’s melodramatic. Again, I was a goddamn teenager who had read too many comics and watched too many movies with romantic sub-plots. That’s just how my brain was wired and the added effects of male hormones didn’t help. All I knew was that I had a crush on this girl. What I didn’t know was how to act on it.

This is where I learned a couple critical lessons. The first, and most obvious, realization I had was that my social skills sucked. It’s not just that I was socially awkward. My conversation skills for people outside my immediate family were awful. I struggled to get a conversation going. I struggled even more to keep it going. If I talked long enough, I would often say something stupid.

One time, I was sitting next to this girl in a science class and I just blurted out that I tried cat food once. I don’t know how or why I admitted that. It wasn’t even true. All I know was the girl just looked at me weird for the rest of the day and I honestly don’t blame her.

I already knew this about myself before I met Angela. As a result, I avoided talking to her at first. We initially met when we got paired up for an English assignment. I thought we got along well. I managed to work with her and not say anything too stupid. While I did learn she had a boyfriend at the time, she actually told me that it was not going well and they were definitely breaking up.

At the time, I thought that was a sign that maybe we had something. Looking back on it, I’m pretty sure she was just venting about her own personal issues. I just happened to be there to listen at the time. In my warped teenage brain, though, that was proof that I wanted to pursue this girl. I just didn’t know how and that’s when I learned a few more harsh lessons.

Chief among them was that if you’re really interested in someone, you have to be mindful of how you show that interest. If you’re not careful, it can come off as creepy and pathetic. For me, I don’t think I was creepy, but I was definitely pathetic and no woman finds that attractive.

I know because it took me almost a year after meeting her to make a move. I’d shared a few classes with her. She knew my name and I knew hers. I’d been friendly with her and she’d even been friendly with me a few times, but I was so shy and awkward that I really didn’t give her a reason to see me as more than just a casual acquaintance.

To make matters worse, my way of telling her I had a crush on her didn’t involve a difficult, face-to-face conversation. It involved me leaving a folded-up note in her locker with my email address written on it. Yes, I knew exactly where her locker was. I also took the time to slip it in when nobody else was there to see me. I admit that’s both creepy and a little pathetic.

For that reason, and probably others I’ll never know, she didn’t respond. I didn’t hear back from her and, at the time, that was genuinely heartbreaking. It ended making me more reserved and more socially awkward. High school was bad enough with hormones, homework, and acne. My first crush wanting nothing to do with me only made it worse.

That’s not to say I never heard from Angela again. About two years later, shortly after she moved away, I actually got an email from her. However, it did not lead to the epic love story I had hoped. It was a very short, very messy email. She just said that she got the note and thanked me for it. I told her who I was and she said she remembered me, but not much else came from it.

While not romantic, it still taught me one final lesson that ended up being the most important. When it comes to looking for love, you can’t go about it as though it’s story in a novel or movie. Love in the real world doesn’t work like that, especially with awkward teenagers. You actually have to work on talking to people, building connections with them, and giving them reasons to love you.

I never gave Angela enough reasons. I never even showed her that I was someone worth loving. I’d worked under the assumption that if I were just a nice, caring guy that the girl of my dreams would fall for me. That may work in cheesy sitcoms, but not in real life high school.

Some of these lessons took a long time to appreciate. It wasn’t until after college that I could look back on my experience with Angela with a more balanced perspective. I honestly wish it hadn’t taken so long. My social skills are still behind the curve. I feel like I held myself back for years, in terms of being a romantically desirable man, and I’m still trying to catch up.

While I’m in a much better place now than I was back in high school, I’m glad I went through that difficult experience of my first failed crush. Even though it took me way too long to learn from that failure, it offered insights that are more useful today than it ever was during my awkward teen years.

In terms of a first crush, I like to think I got lucky with Angela. She was sweet, caring, and understanding. She didn’t judge me for my social ineptitude or my terrible acne. I don’t blame her for not feeling the same way about me as I did about her. I just wish I’d handled it better.

One day, I believe I’ll find someone who will be as attracted to me as I am to her. When that day comes, I’ll be ready and that’s thanks in part to the lessons I learned by having a crush on Angela. While I doubt I’ll ever see her again, I’ll always be grateful to what she taught me about what it means to craft romance in the real world.

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Why More Men Are Confiding In Sex Workers

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Where do you turn to when you need to confide in someone? Who can you trust to listen to your problems, not judge you, and show you basic human decency? Some people are lucky enough to have one or more person they can turn to during difficult times.

For me, it’s my parents. Both my mother and my father have always been there for me, no matter what I’m going through. I can tell them anything and I know they’ll listen. They won’t judge me. They won’t tell me to just suck it up. They’ve helped me through some pretty difficult times and I love them deeply for that.

Some people aren’t as lucky. They don’t have close friends or family members they feel they can turn to. This is especially true for those with poor social skills or severe social anxieties. These issues affect everyone, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation. However, in recent years, the impact on men has been more pronounced.

As a result, some of those men have been turning to an unexpected source when they need to confide in someone. It’s not friends, family members, or licensed therapists. It’s sex workers. While there are plenty of ugly politics surrounding sex work, some of which I’ve discussed, this unusual phenomenon makes sense, albeit for tragic reasons.

Rather than speculate on those reasons, I’ll let Nicole Emma share the distressing details from her recent Ted Talk. While I strongly recommend everyone to listen to the full lecture, this one anecdote she shared nicely sums up the issue.

“Yesterday, a miracle happened. Since my wife passed, I’ve been very lonely. I haven’t so much as been hugged in over two years. I’m not handsome. I’m not rich. I don’t know how to talk to women, but you held me. You rubbed my back. You listened to me vent about my grief. This might just be a job for you, but today you saved my life.”

Think about this aside from the fact that a man hired a sex worker. This man was lonely, having lost his wife and not experienced much physical intimacy since then. He’s not some charismatic character from a beer commercial. He’s just an ordinary man with the same basic needs as everyone else. He felt like he couldn’t meet those needs so he turned to a sex worker.

Why he felt this way is difficult to surmise, but as a man, I can make a few educated guesses. Like it or not, there’s a stigma associated with men who share their insecurities. I learned that first-hand last year when I dealt with the death of someone very close to me. Even though I was comfortable confiding in my parents, I still felt inclined to hold back.

I know I’m not the only man who has felt this and there are people far smarter than me who have studied this. There are many factors behind this taboo. Some will blame “toxic masculinity,” a flawed concept at best. Others will attribute it to certain expectations about men that we simply don’t scrutinize as much as we should.

Regardless of the cause, the issue comes back to having few outlets for their feelings. Not everyone can afford a therapist and some are even reluctant to share these sentiments online. Given the prevalence of trolling these days, I can’t say I blame them. In that context, a sex worker is in a perfect position to help these men.

Yes, I’m aware that may be a poor choice of words.

Logistically, it provides them with something clear and transparent. The man knows what the woman wants. The woman knows what the man wants. The price is clear and predetermined. There’s no uncertainty or mixed messages.

Beyond the logistics, the exchange fulfills some of basic of needs. There’s actual, physical intimacy. There’s no screen between the man and the sex worker. There’s real human contact and that, in and of itself, provides significant health benefits. Add the inherent health benefits of orgasms and the impact of a sex worker can be more therapeutic than any therapist.

Even without the sex, a sex worker offers the man something that’s difficult to find, even in today’s hyper-connected world. For once, they’re with someone who will listen to them in a way that’s objective, unbiased, and free of judgment. A sex worker may see them as a client, but part of their work involves providing intimacy. Oftentimes, the line between physical and emotional intimacy isn’t clear.

Ms. Emma, having been a sex worker for years, understood that and, based on her personal testimony, she did her job very well. That man she referenced benefited from having that kind of intimacy. Unlike a therapist or a counselor, she didn’t treat him as someone who was sick or in need of medication. She just treated him as a lonely man who needed some intimacy.

I think many men can empathize with that situation. I doubt don’t that women can empathize with it as well. Sometimes, you don’t want therapy and you don’t want the complexities of other social interactions. You just want someone who provides a service that allows you to feel some basic level of emotional and physical intimacy.

Regardless of how you feel about the legality of prostitution or the men who hire sex workers, there’s no denying that this sort of intimacy is a fundamental need. We’ve seen what happens when people don’t get it. In recent years, we’ve seen it get downright ugly and hateful.

People need emotional and physical outlets, regardless of gender. The fact that sex workers are the primary outlet for some men is emblematic of a much larger problem. Beyond the taboos, stigmas, and misguided gender politics, we’re still human. We all still seek intimate connections. Without it, people will suffer and ignoring that suffering will only make it worse.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Competitive Love Edition

Couple jogging in nature

Some people are just competitive, by nature. They’ll turn anything into a contest, be it a sales competition, a video game, or the act of making love to their lover. It can be beneficial. Competition, after all, is wired into our collective psyche. It’s part of what has made humans such a successful species. As such, it helps make us great lovers.

I’ve known people who actively channel their competitive nature into their love lives. They often end up with spouses or partners who are just as competitive as they are, looking for ways to push each other and themselves. I knew one couple in college that tried to compete with another on how long they could spend a day naked together. I’m not sure who won, but I don’t get the sense that anybody lost.

It can get needlessly elaborate and downright exhausting. It can also help keep things interesting in a relationship. I’m not an overly competitive person, but I do like to push myself every now and then. When I do find that special someone, I hope they’ll have a similar competitive drive. When done right, competition can bring out the best in people. When done right to our love lives, it can get pretty damn sexy.

That’s not to say there aren’t risks. Like anything, it is possible to go too far. That’s not the kind of competition I’m referring to. For this week’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts, my focus is on the kind of competitive spirit that pushes lovers in all the right ways for all the right reasons.


“We consider nudity obscene, but trust a few thin layers of fabric to guard that obscenity.”


“The first person to shave off their pubic hair must have been equally brave and foolish.”

 


“The best drugs either facilitate the process of getting sex or mimic the feelings associated with having sex.”


“True cunning is seducing someone who thinks they’re the one doing the seducing.”


“Men who are good with power tools have no excuses when it comes to effectively using a vibrator with their lover.”


“A dirty thought is often a precursor to a loving gesture.”


“These days, a lack of debt carries its own brand of sex appeal.”


Hopefully, that got some of the competitive juices flowing, among other things. The NFL season may be over and the middle of winter makes it tough to do much competing. That just means couples have to get more creative and creativity is often the best catalyst for an exciting love life.

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“The Mysterious Frenchman” A Sexy Short Story

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The following is a sexy short story that was commissioned by a loyal reader who wanted a specific, French-themed kind of sexy. They know who they are. I hope they enjoy this. If you’re at all interested in commissioning another sexy short story, please contact me. Until then, profiter de l’histoire!

What was it about France that made it so romantic?

American girls like Rose Redman had asked themselves that question more than once. It was just one country in Europe, albeit one with a unique collection of people, places, and culture. It had a rich history and a distinct style. There was a special distinction that came with all things French. Being there just felt different. It carried a spirit that could not be found anywhere else.

Rose, unlike other Americans, had a chance to seek that spirit for herself. At 18-years-old, having just graduated high school, she decided to experience France on her own. It marked the first vacation she ever went on by herself. It was ambitious, but that had never dissuaded her before.

Rose was not the kind of woman who just read about exotic locations. She preferred to experience them first-hand. Some called her adventurous. Others called her reckless. She didn’t care what anyone labeled her. She was her own person. She was going to experience France and everything that made it romantic.

However, her choice to make France her final vacation before college wasn’t just about its romantic mystique. Rose had a more personal reason for maxing out her credit cards and borrowing money from friends…one prompted by tragedy.

“You would’ve loved this place, Mom,” she said solemnly. “You would’ve loved everything about it.”

Rose had been saying those words to herself almost every day since she arrived. Everywhere she went – Paris, Lyon, Nice, Bordeaux, and all their various landmarks – she experienced something she knew her mother would’ve loved. Whether it was a famous building or a snack she bought at a café, she could easily imagine her mother’s face lighting up like the Parisian skyline.

Sadly, Rose never got the chance to share that experience. Eight months ago, her mother passed away after a two-year bout with cancer. The trip wasn’t just about the experience or even the romance. It was her way of honoring her mother.

“I still miss you,” Rose said to the clear blue sky. “We would’ve had so much fun here. Hell, a day at the nude beach in Nice would’ve made for some great memories…funny, awkward, and mortifying memories, but still great none-the-less.”

She laughed to herself, despite the lingering sorrow. Hugging her knees, sitting atop a picnic blanket on a hot summer day, Rose tried to focus on all the wonderful things she’d experienced on her trip.

“Just so you know, I didn’t meet that fancy French aristocrat you’d said I’d meet,” she said, still fixated on the sky. “I met some guys who said I had great legs. Then again, my French is still lousy so they might have been referring to my tits. There were polite about it, though. I still said no when they offered to rub sunscreen on my back.”

She kept smiling at the memory. She could hear her mother telling her she should’ve let them. Like her, her mother was a free spirit. She loved to learn new things and seek new experiences. She just didn’t get a chance to travel much. Between a failed marriage with her father and a career that seemed to change every other month, she didn’t get many opportunities. That didn’t stop her from making plans.

Before she died, she’d told Rose a story about a trip to France she took as a child. She’d even told her that she wanted to take her there on vacation after she finished college, joking about how the country’s romantic ambience would perfectly complement their free-spirited nature. Rose had been looking forward to that trip since middle school. Fate, misfortune, and circumstances just got in the way.

“I know you didn’t want me to mourn you for this long,” Rose said, now resting her chin on her knees. “You told me you didn’t want your death to dampen my spirit and harden my heart. You made me promise to keep seeking love…to embrace it, as I always have. It’s just a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

Tears formed in her eyes as Rose sobbed softly into her hands. She sighed to herself and reached for the half-empty glass of wine she had next to her. It came courtesy of the best bottle she could afford and some complimentary cheese, which she had finished.

After nearly a week of traveling the cities, seeing the sites, and lounging on the beaches, Rose decided to spend the last day of her vacation at a winery east of Bordeaux. She even made sure she came at a time when it wasn’t too crowded, opting to skip the tour and just find a quiet place on a hillside overlooking fields.

It was her way of sharing a quiet moment with her mother’s spirit. Gazing out over the beautiful French countryside, however, Rose could feel her heart aching to reach out, but the cloud of her mother’s death still hung over her.

“You always said we shouldn’t hesitate to love, even if it gets us in trouble,” Rose mused as she sipped the wine. “Great experiences come with a price. Maybe that’s why France such a romantic place. People are much more willing to pay that price and take that chance.”

It made sense. The people Rose had met, including the flirty men on that nude beach, weren’t afraid to put themselves out there. For some reason, pursuing love that directly was taboo back home. It was refreshing for someone who’d opened her heart to a lot of people in her life. France was just as open, but for some reason, she’d closed herself off.

“I’m in this wonderful place where I can heal my soul and honor your memory,” Rose said as she stared at her now-empty glass. “After all the places I’ve been and all the people I’ve met, why do I still feel…empty?”

That question had been plaguing her for days now. She was set to fly home the next day. Rose wanted to be able to tell her friends and family that she was at peace. She was ready to move forward and love again. She needed to keep that last promise she’d made to her mother. At the moment, though, it felt like she was failing her.

“You’re a long way from the tour group, mademoiselle,” came an unexpected voice in a deep French accent.

Rose turned to see a tall, older man with a thick black beard, large forearms, and olive-toned skin emerging from a nearby field of grape vines. He wore white shirt, tattered dark pants, and muddy boots, indicating he wasn’t a tour guide. From the looks of it, he worked at the winery, albeit not in the most glamorous role.

“There are far better places for a picnic,” the man told her, “unless, of course, you’re not looking for the best place…just the one where you can talk to yourself in peace.”

“You uh…heard that?” Rose said sheepishly.

“My English is not great,” he said, “but I understand enough to know when someone is speaking with a broken heart. Here in France, we like to think we’re more fluent than most in the language of the heart.”

The man cast her a sympathetic smile. Rose smiled back, but still blushed profusely. She didn’t usually talk to herself and when she did, she had the good sense to be subtle. Then again, subtlety had never been among her strengths

The man didn’t hold it against her, though. He just kept smiling as he sat down next to her. In doing so, she confirmed that the man definitely worked on the front lines of the winery, so to speak. He smelled like he’d been toiling for hours, picking grapes and tilling the soil. Being the kind of woman who appreciated hard working men more than most, Rose didn’t mind in the slightest.

“So how much did you understand?” Rose asked him.

“Enough to know that you came here with a wounded heart,” the man said. “Not a broken heart, which I’ve seen plenty of in my time. Just wounded.”

“What’s the difference?”

“There’s a considerable difference,” he said. “I don’t know if English has the right words for it.”

“That sounds exactly like something someone from France would say.”

“I won’t claim I could explain it perfectly in my native tongue. It would certainly be easier, especially when the wounds aren’t healing as much as you wish they were.”

Rose’s demeanor shifted. She diverted her gaze, as if to hide some of the sorrow she’d tried to put into words moments ago. No matter how much the mysterious Frenchman had overheard, she’d made her pain clear. Hers was a strained heart, one that could still love, but had been hardened by loss. Even as someone who rarely hid her emotions, it still hurt.

That didn’t deter the man. He even scooted closer, giving her an even bigger whiff of that musky scent that could only come from a man who spent his days making French wine. It was enough to make her heart skip a beat, which seemed to make his point.

“I’m Philippe, by the way,” the man said.

“I’m Rose. Nice to meet you,” Rose said with a smile. “Would I be an insufferably rude tourist if I called you Phil?”

“For a woman dealing with a wounded heart, I’ll happily overlook some cultural peeves,” Philippe said. “If I were to guess from your clothing and your disposition, I’d say you’re from America, non?”

“You’re a good guesser,” Rose said, impressed by his perception. “What gave it away? My crude American accent?”

“Not at all,” he laughed. “A lot of Americans love to visit French wineries. Having worked here for over 15 years, I’ve noticed how they conduct themselves. They value freedom, strength, and spirit, but they see matters of the heart as weakness.”

“I want to defend my country, but I feel like I’ve made myself a big enough fool.”

“It’s never foolish to express how much you’re hurting. Pain – whether it’s from loss or picking grapes for eight hours straight – reminds us that we’re alive. More importantly, it affirms that we wish to keep living.”

“I think pain sucks. I don’t care if that makes me an uncultured American. My mother has been dead for almost a year. I thought it would hurt less by now. The whole reason I came to France was to mend it, like I know she would’ve wanted.”

“Why do you think it has not worked?”

“Hell if I know,” Rose sighed. “You’re the one who says French are fluent in the language of the heart. Any chance you can translate for me?”

“I can try,” Philippe said, “but the heart often speaks with mixed messages. Even a full-blooded Frenchmen struggles to make sense of it.”

The tall, older man set her wine glass and snack tray aside. He then sat down in front of her, caressing her face with both hands and aligning his gaze with hers. With such close proximity, she could smell more than grapes, wine, and dirt. Rose could the strength feel his penetrating gaze. It was like looking into a light that exposed all the ugly wounds she’d been trying to ignore.

At the same time, the feeling of an attractive older Frenchman touching her heart racing faster. It also sparked a new heat within her, one that had nothing to do with the hot summer air. As someone who had a lot of boyfriends in high school, but hadn’t so much as hugged one since her mother died, it was intense…as well as arousing.

“I see in you something other than loss and pain,” Philippe told her. “I see a woman eager to share herself with the world, but then the world hit you with something you weren’t ready for. And it hit hard.”

“My mother and I were really close,” Rose said. “I don’t know how it could’ve hit much harder.”

“And when something hits us, we fall. Both the hit and the fall hurt, but it passes. We get back up and we fight through the pain. When we’re struck in our heart, though…getting back up isn’t enough. Just overcoming the pain isn’t enough, either.”

“Well, what else is there?”

Philippe leaned in closer, so much so that his rugged French complexion was all she saw. The beauty of the French countryside, the gentle summer breezes sweeping through the area, and the various activities of a functioning winery became an afterthought. In that moment, he was the sole focus of her world.

“I think it’s the same thing that brought you to France,” he told her, “the one thing that every wounded heart needs before it can heal…closure.”

“Closure,” Rose found herself saying.

“Not just with respect to your mother’s passing,” he went on, “but to the very essence of your spirit. I can already tell you’re someone who likes to embrace the world, but to do that in a world without your mother…you need to take that final step.”

“To do what?” she asked intently.

“To say goodbye, to move on, and to chart your own path without her.”

It was like receiving an overdue message, one scripted by the spirit of her mother, but conveyed through the thick accent of a handsome older Frenchman. In terms of getting the point across, Rose couldn’t imagine anything more effective.

Suddenly, her heart skipped a beat.

A warm gust of wind blew over the French countryside.

A powerful feeling washed over her, as though a blanket of genuine love had washed over her.

It was so intense that it brought tears to her eyes. It was like her mother was giving her one last hug goodbye. At the same time, the presence of a handsome Frenchman in Philippe gave her someone to share in that feeling. Never one to turn away from a powerful moment, Rose broke down and threw her arms around the man before her.

“Merci,” she cried. “Merci, Philippe.”

“It’s okay, Mademoiselle Rose,” Philippe said. “It’s okay.”

She sensed she’d overwhelmed him. That didn’t stop him from hugging her back, sharing in the feeling of the moment. She didn’t hide from the tears or the sobs. For the first time in her entire trip, she didn’t avoid the sorrow. She just took it all in, but rather than lament, she let it act as the closure she hadn’t achieved. It was liberating, as though her spirit could once again soar.

As the weight of those feelings passed, though, other feelings emerged as well. It was not lost on Rose for a second that she was embracing a very attractive man. She also hadn’t forgotten that she’d cut herself off from intimate contact with men since her mother died. For a spirit as lively as hers, it did plenty to rekindle that special inner passion within her.

“Philippe…” she said after her sobs subsided.

“Yes, Mademoiselle?” he asked.

Still embracing him closely, Rose locked eyes with him, just as he’d done with her earlier. Now, she was the center of his world, the only spectacle he saw in the French countryside. As she gazed upon him, she affectionately caressed his unshaven face with her soft hands. Then, acting on that spirit that had longed to re-emerge, she kissed him.

As soon as she tasted those sultry French lips, Rose felt the weight of many burdens lift from her soul. It was like her mother’s spirit had come down to relieve her of them once and for all. In her place, the passion that had been muted by sorrow arose once more. In that moment, she channeled that passion onto Philippe.

“My, my, Rose,” the Frenchman gasped. “You American girls…such intense kissers.”

“You speak the language of the heart. We speak the language of hot kissing!” Rose said, her voice once again full of life.

“Another universal tongue…in a manner of speaking.”

“Universal, indeed!”

They kissed again with greater intensity, embracing and caressing one another under the hot summer heat. Once again, Rose dared to bring passion into her life. With Philippe, though – the strange Frenchman who’d been there at just the right time to mend her wounded soul – she put in extra effort.

She made sure every touch carried meaning, from the way she twirled her tongue with his to the way she ran her hands through his messy hair. Even if his English wasn’t great, he got the message loud and clear. He’d healed her in just the way she needed to be healed. Were they back on that nude beach in Nice, she would’ve done more than kiss him.

As the affectionate gestures intensified, Roes felt him reach up her skirt and feel around her inner thighs. In doing so, it mixed that rekindled passion with a more basic arousal, one that reminded her of the other needs she hadn’t been meeting lately.

“Philippe,” Rose gasped, “your hand.”

“Would you…like me to stop?” he asked coyly.

“Heavens no!” she said without hesitation.

“In that case, allow me to do one more thing that I believe will give you closure…something we, in France, know to be effective at healing wounded hearts.”

“Oh? And what might that entail?”

With a sneaky grin that only a confident Frenchman could offer, he leaned in closer and whispered into her ear.

“Lie down on your back,” he told her. “Look to the sky, think only of your mother’s love, and let my skilled French tongue do the rest.”

The way he said it sounded so sultry, yet so genuine. Rose knew the French – and Europeans, in general – were less uptight when it came to sexual matters. However, she’d never encountered someone who used sexuality to mend a wounded spirit. For someone like her, who valued her unbound spirit, it seemed so fitting.

“Okay,” said Rose. “Do what you Frenchmen do best to cute, American girls in need of comfort.”

He cast her a confident, but reassuring grin. He had a glint in his eyes that said to her that he intended to deliver and, in what might end up being her final French experience, she trusted him.

Doing as he’d instructed, she laid back on her picnic blanket and gazed up at the clear blue skies. In the process, Philippe reached behind and unzipped the back of her skirt so that he could remove it. She didn’t resist in the slightest, even kicking off her sandals in the process. Then, after setting aside her skirt, he removed her panties as well, leaving her completely naked from the waist down.

“Such beauty,” Philippe said upon seeing her exposed lower body. “You American girls are so adept at grooming.”

Rose giggled, but remained focused on the sky above. Her heart raced and every breath became heavy. All the summer heat seemed to collect around her inner thighs, as though her desire for closure had become a ball of heat housed within her core. At that point, only a mysterious Frenchman could unleash it.

Philippe was more than up to the task. As she gazed to the heavens, he carefully pushed her legs apart and trailed his lips along her inner thighs. Slowly, but steadily, he charted a path to the growing heat that was her womanhood. By the time he arrived, she was fully aroused, her folds engorged and her depths aching for his touch.

“Close your eyes,” he said in that thick accent of his. “Think of all the love that your mother inspired…that you wish to carry on in her memory. Focus on that as I focus on making you feel special in this moment of closure.”

It was hard to focus on anything when she was so incredibly aroused, but for her mother’s memory, Rose endured it. Still breathing heavily, she clung to her picnic blanket and closed her eyes while Philippe put that French tongue of his to work in the best possible way.

“Ooh Philippe!” Rose gasped upon feeling his lips on her nether regions.

Like a true connoisseur, the mysterious Frenchman gave her oral sex. He was not sloppy or crude, either. He treated such an intimate act the same way a dignified man would treat fine dining, exercising manners and care. It was a more refined approach to a common sex act…one that evoked a unique blend of sensations, pleasure, and satisfaction.

Clutching the picnic blanket harder, Rose let out more cries of delight to the heavens. Philippe, heeding her cries like a beacon, intensified his efforts. He held her legs apart, probed deeper with that French tongue of his, and tasted her womanly flesh as though it were an exotic treat. Soon, those feelings of sorrow and pent-up desires converged into a burning ball of blissful heat. It was like the remaining shackles on her spirit were about to shatter.

As that heat intensified, Rose opened her eyes. All she saw was a clear blue sky. Under the constant bombardment of pleasure, its grandeur took on greater meaning. In that moment, she felt as though her mother was gazing down upon her from Heaven, ready to bless her with one final gesture.

“I…I’m close. I’m so…so close!” Rose gasped, her voice dazed by the feeling.

Philippe, heeding her call, lifted her hips slightly and smothered her womanhood with an onslaught of oral teasing. He hit every sensitive area with perfect precision, stimulating her feminine features to the utmost. It sent her to the edge of that special cliff where an ocean of ecstasy awaited her. Once there, Rose let her spirit guide her and she dove in.

“Oohhh yes!”

Her moan of euphoria echoed from the depths of her soul into the sky. She was so vocal with her intimate peak that all the angels in Heaven – including her mother – definitely heard her. Every inch of her skin burned with white hot sensations of pleasure, her toes curling and her back arching as she writhed in the feeling.

By every measure, it was an intense orgasm, but it carried far greater meaning beyond the pleasure. As Rose gazed fixated on the sky, her tears of sorrow having since turned to tears of joy, Philippe set her hips down and leaned in so that he could whisper in her ear once more.

“Let that be your final closure,” he told her, “courtesy of a proud Frenchman.”

“Merci, Monsieur…merci,” Rose panted.

He kissed her on the neck again, traces of her feminine juices still on his breath. Rose smiled warmly, but remained on her back, half-naked and staring at the cloudless sky above her. She’d come to France to take the trip that she and her mother never got a chance to share. She saw and experienced many things that her mother would’ve loved…wonderful things she wish they could’ve shared. Instead of honoring her memory, it just felt like she was mourning her even more.

Then, she encountered a very special man in the French countryside. Thanks to him, the sorrow of loss became the relief of closure. Thanks to a mysterious Frenchman, her mother was gone, but her spirit was freed…just like hers.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Comfy Couch Loving

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When it comes to furniture and sex, beds get all the glory while couches get all the unsexy stains. In the realm of romantic domains, couches barely register. They rank somewhere between the back seat of a car and a really sturdy dinner table. As a romance fan and someone who has enjoyed more than one couch-centered make-out session with a girlfriend, I don’t think that’s fair.

Now, there’s a valid reason for that. A couch is comfortable and can accommodate plenty of sexy activities, but it’s still limited in a lot of ways. It’s a simple, practical piece of furniture. There’s only so much you can do to it to improve its romantic potential. It is possible, though. It just takes more imagination.

In the right circumstances, an ordinary couch can be the sexiest piece of furniture you can have. It starts off as just a place to relaxed. Once you’re relaxed, you get cozy. Once you get cozy, you become more receptive to sexier ideas. If you and your lover are on the same page, then it doesn’t take much to make that couch the site of something beautiful.

I explore a lot of ideas in my Daily Sexy Musings. I don’t give much attention to furniture, but I think it’s worth pondering every now and then. After all, without quality furniture, we couldn’t do much with our sexy ideas. I hope this inspires others to contemplate how they use their couches as well. Enjoy!

It’s been a long day. We come home tired, but restless. It’s too early to go to bed, but too late to go out and do something. Without a plan or guidance, we make our way to the couch. If we’re too drained for adventure, then we might as well relax.

I sit next to you.

You sit next to me.

Naturally, we gravitate towards one another.

We turn on the TV and settle in. The stress and rigors of the day start to fade. Our shared frustrations become a distant memory. Together, we leave those minor obstacles behind. However, neither one of us has the energy to take on bigger challenges.

That doesn’t matter, though. We have just enough to make the most of our time together. While the bedroom seems like a distant journey, the couch we’re sitting on is more than sufficient. It supports us both, giving us comfort and leverage. That’s all it takes to turn an act of relaxation into one of passion.

As I lean on you, our skin touches.

As our skin touches, our desires escalate.

As our desires grow, our love takes hold.

Without an elaborate setting or fancy fixtures, we act as though we’re in the most romantic locale in the world. There’s no king-sized bed or array of flowers. There’s just a cozy little couch that’s just big enough to hold two lovers.

That’s all it takes.

That’s all we need.

That’s all that matters.

Our couch supports us even as we discard our clothes. The springs strain as we exert what little energy we have with one another. It still holds up, cradling our bodies and our passions. We don’t need an entire world on which to express our love. A good, comfortable couch will do.

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Scrutinizing (And Questioning) The Gender Wage Gap

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There are some assumed truths that we, as a society, don’t question as much as we should. In the era of fake news, alternative facts, and conspiracy theorists who act like living internet memes, it’s hard to know what’s true anymore. Even when things are proven definitively false, people still cling to them. Why else would creationism still exist?

However, there are a few over-arching assumptions that I feel deserve more than just skepticism. There are some common talking points that have significant flaws solely because of their implications. You don’t even need to compile statistics or conduct extensive research. Just asking questions that build directly from the logic are sufficient to expose underlying flaws.

One talking point that keeps coming up in the world of gender politics is the gender wage gap. It’s been an issue for years, but keeps coming up in everywhere from Hollywood to tech companies. Even though I’ve talked about gender politics many times before, I’ve avoided this particular issue because everyone can find numbers to throw at it to support their position. As a result, there’s not much to write about.

That’s why I’m not going to try and debate it with economic studies or statistics. There are plenty of other people far smarter and more qualified to do that sort of thing. Instead, I want to scrutinize this common and contentious issue in a few simple ways that I hope demonstrate why it’s such a flawed issue to begin with. I believe this can be accomplished by asking just a few simple questions.


If Women Are Always Paid Less, Then Why Would A Company Hire Men?

I’m not an economist, a financial specialist, or a business expert, but I understand logistics as well as most people. Last I checked, a good business seeks to maximize profits and minimize costs. That’s the hard of nearly every challenge for every business, whether they’re selling widgets or time shares.

With that in mind, why would any business hire men if they can save money by hiring women? If women are every bit as capable, as many in the halls of gender politics argue, then there’s no reason for them to favor men. If the gender wage gap is true, then any business that hires men is intentionally throwing money away.

I get that the economics of wages, combined with the complexities of gender dynamics, create all sorts of confounding factors. That doesn’t change the math or the incentives surrounding profit. The basics of the wage gap imply that there’s a system in place that allows companies to pay women less for the same work, but they’re not taking advantage of it.

That just doesn’t make sense and I rarely hear those who bemoan the pay gap address this. I feel like since most people don’t understand business or economics, it’s easy to ignore and people just take the path of least resistance.


What Exactly Constitutes Equal Work?

This might be entirely subjective in most cases, but the idea of “equal pay for equal work” is becoming a bigger and bigger part of this issue. I hear politicians, pundits, and protesters using this phrase in any number of speeches in debates. However, they never go into detail.

Equal pay is one thing, but equal work is something else entirely. Human beings are not machines. Even if two people have the exact same skill level, they’re not always going to produce the same product with their work. That’s just not physically possible for non-cyborg humans.

I don’t doubt that a woman can be just as good as a man in many tasks, from typing up reports to carving furniture out of wood like Ron Swanson. Most of these skills are not physically impossible for able-bodied people, regardless of their genital configuration. Even if they’re capable, though, how do you decide that their work is equal?

Is it determined by how much time they put in? Is it determined by the volume of the work or the amount of money it generates? Most businesses use a mix of workers that have a wide variety of talents, skills, and abilities. Given those constraints, the whole idea of equal work seems to break down.

I’m not saying there aren’t cases where a woman is paid less for doing the same work as a male counterpart. That probably has happened before and will happen again. I just don’t see how that can be address beyond a case-by-case basis.


How Do You Enforce Perfectly Equitable Pay?

Beyond just determining what equal work is, there’s the whole concept of enforcing that equality. Passing laws is the most obvious possibility, but implementing those laws can be tricky. In the state of Georgia, there’s a weird law that prohibits people from living on a boat for more than 30 days. How do the authorities go about enforcing something like that?

Like I said before, businesses have all sorts of complex machinations. People have a variety of skills, roles, and duties. Not everyone works the same hours and not everyone will work with the same efficiency. Do they all still get paid the same? How would you even go about determining what constitutes fair pay in every instance?

It’s not just unfeasible. It’s physically impossible. There are so many subjective forces at work and everyone will argue that their work contributed more value than everyone else’s. They all can’t be right, but they all can be wrong and if everyone is wrong, then how can you know the truth? Even if the idea of equal pay seems good and just, it still breaks down when you try to apply logistics.


What Else Can People (Reasonably) Do?

In 1963, the Equal Pay Act was passed and signed into law by President Kennedy. This law stated outright that no employer could utilize sexist discriminatory practices when determining the wages of its employees. That law has been on the books ever since. It’s a federal law so it applies to every state and territory. It can be enforced by legal resources at every level of government.

Paying someone less because they’re a woman is already illegal and has been for decades. What else can people do? Like I said, enforcing a law is difficult, but the law is still there. However, in the same way that drug laws didn’t make illicit drugs go away, laws concerning equal pay don’t make the gaps go away.

Laws can only provide rules. They can only do so much to change society as it is. The pay gap has significantly narrowed, but it’s not perfect. Nothing ever is. Beyond abolishing wages for everyone, which may actually happen one day, what else can be done? I get that many favor hiring more women and minorities, but is that really reasonable for every business in every sector of the economy?


Again, I see the merit and the passion behind the idea. Someone getting paid less for their work just because of their gender is a gross injustice, but righting that wrong in such a complex world just isn’t that easy. Nothing ever is. I know these questions can’t be fully answered, but I hope that simply asking them offers a more complete perspective of the issue.

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Jack Fisher’s Weekly Quick Pick Comic: Uncanny X-Men #11

Every week, a fresh crop of new comics comes out and the world is a little bit more awesome because of it. As a lifelong fan of comics, superheroes, and many other things that the Bill Maher’s of the world despise, I take it upon myself to single out one comic from that week that makes this most special of days for superhero fans that much more memorable.

This week was a busy week with big events brewing with DC’s Heroes In Crisis story and Marvel’s ongoing Age of X-Man event. Being a lifelong X-men fan, I know I’m somewhat bias towards the X-men side of things. This week, however, I didn’t need that bias to single out Uncanny X-Men #11 as my top pick of the week.

It’s not just because this book comes on the heels of Cyclops’ latest return from the dead, which occurred in Uncanny X-Men Annual #1 a couple weeks ago. It’s not just because he’s returning to a world where most of the X-Men have disappeared and been presumed dead after their battle with Nate Grey in Uncanny X-Men #10, either. What makes this comic my top pick is something far greater.

In every superhero comic, you learn the most about a character when they’re at their worst. It’s easy for any hero to shine when things are going well. When the world loves them, when super-villains despise them, and when they’re not stuck on the wrong end of a love triangle, it’s easy to seem heroic. It’s when everything is terrible and their world is on the brink that you learn who they truly are.

Uncanny X-Men #11 lets everyone know who Scott “Cyclops” Summers is. In this story, he has no X-men to lead. He has no beautiful wife by his side or buxom blonde lusting after him. His mentor is gone. His home is gone. Everything he ever fought to defend is gone. What does a man like that do in a situation like that?

He can either cower and whine or he can step up and fight. Cyclops, having gone to war with the Avengers and the Inhumans, has never been one to cower. The story that Matthew Rosenberg and Salvador Larroca tell here shows why he’s the leader of the X-men in the first place. It shows why beautiful telepaths are attracted to him. When things are at their worst for the entire mutant race, this is the man you want leading you.

If you’re a Cyclops fan in any capacity, Uncanny X-Men #11 is a must-have. However, what makes this book even more valuable is that it’s giant-sized. That means it costs a little more than the typical two to three dollar price, but you get a lot more for those few extra bucks.

In addition to Cyclops kicking ass, Wolverine has his own story that unfolds in the background. He too recently came back from the dead and has been dealing with the many complications associated with resurrection in his own series, Return of Wolverine. Having sufficiently stabbed those complications, he’s ready to return to the X-Men and he’s just in time to help Cyclops, a guy who’s wife he kept trying to sleep with.

It’s a beautiful thing, these two coming together once more in the X-Men’s darkest hour. The way it happens and the action it inspires is too great for words. That’s why I’m not going to spoil it. I’ll just say that if you’re a Cyclops fan, a Wolverine fan, or an X-Men fan in general, this comic feels like one of those books that will one day be critical in the history of the greater Marvel universe.

As it stands, the X-Men are gone and the mutant race is fading into obscurity. Rather than genocide, they’re facing a future where people simply treat mutation like a flu shot. The vaccine that was introduced in Uncanny X-Men #1 works. Parents can now keep their children from becoming mutants. While it greatly limits their chances of becoming superheroes, it ensures they can lead a “normal” life.

What does this mean for the future of the X-Men? What does it mean for mutants? These are unanswered questions that will probably linger for many issues to come, but Uncanny X-Men #11 effectively fires the first shot in a new struggle. Cyclops, Wolverine, and the rest of the mutant race aren’t content to just whither away. That’s not their style and this issue demonstrates why in so many uncanny ways.

If the measure of a true hero is determined by how they handle their darkest hour, then Uncanny X-Men #11 reaffirms why the X-Men are in a league all their own. The world may always love the Avengers, but the X-men will always command their respect.

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