Why do women find certain men attractive? Why does anyone find someone attractive? Those are not easy questions to answer and the answers vary from person to person. There are all sorts of complexities, quirks, and kinks that influence someone’s idea of what is attractive. Whether you’re gay, straight, or bisexual, it’s a complicated and often irrational process.
With that in mind, why would anyone in their right mind find Ted Bundy attractive? This isn’t a man with a few minor character flaws. This is a brutal, sadomasochistic murderer who confessed to killing 30 women and may have killed many more. Beyond his horrific crimes, Bundy was a narcissistic psychopath who seemed incapable of empathy and showed no remorse for his crimes.
Despite all this, and maybe even because of it, some women have expressed a genuine attraction to Ted Bundy. It’s not just that he managed to marry his girlfriend, Carole Ann Boone, while he was in prison on death row. He actually fathered a child with her during that time. Even after his confession and subsequent execution, there were still women who fawned over his charm and good looks.
This isn’t just from a few women with exceedingly poor tastes in men. In wake of a recent Netflix documentary on Bundy, Netflix had to issue a statementdiscouraging women from commenting on his looks. The implies that this isn’t just a product of trolling or off-hand comments. There are other forces at work here that reflect the eccentricities of sex appeal.
Those forces aren’t new. Women have been attracted to “bad boys” since the caveman days and there’s considerable research into why it evolved. Bad boys often provide something novel and different, which can be attractive in and of itself. Human beings are novelty-seeking creatures to begin with. Hooking up with a bad boy certainly qualifies as something different.
However, there’s quite a gap between a man who just thumbs his nose at parking tickets and a man who brutally butchers women. To call Ted Bundy a “bad boy” is to insult bad boys who attract women for the right reasons. However, the same forces are at work here and Bundy is hardly the first murderer to attract a following.
That level of attraction goes far beyond the typical appeal of a bad boy. Men like Bundy aren’t just bad. They’re genuinely scary to be around. The details of his crimes were on display for the public. Just reading over the descriptions should be enough to evoke fear and terror in any rational person with even a modicum of decency.
This is where some of the flawed wiring of the human brain kick in, at least with respect to sexual attraction. The misattribution of arousal in the human psyche is a well-documented phenomenon. When our brains get input about something dangerous, it evokes an arousal response. Sometimes, that arousal goes beyond fear.
There are times when our brains cannot discern between the arousal generated by danger and the arousal generated by something sexually appealing. The human brain, as an instrument, is hardly precise. Sometimes, it’s easy to associate something sexy with something dangerous. From our brain’s perspective, arousal from one isn’t that different from arousal by the other.
It’s part of what gives appeal to extreme thrill-seeking behaviors like skydiving, contact sports, and drug use. It’s not in spite of the danger that people seek those thrills. It’s because of it. The line between danger and aroused is so blurred that there’s no real difference. For women, a murderer like Ted Bundy is like skydiving with a faulty parachute.
In terms of danger/arousal, you can’t get much riskier than that. On top of that, men like Bundy are the kind of men that society tells women not to get with. They’re encouraged to find a man who is stable, gentle, compassionate, and sane. Those men may make great spouses, but they’re hardly dangerous. Being with them is never going to be as dangerous/excited as being with Ted Bundy.
This puts a forbidden fruit factor on top of the thrill-seeking factor. In terms of attraction, it’s a double dose of sex appeal that resonated with some women. Please note, however, that this appeal is not indicative of how women, in general, determine someone’s sex appeal. The chances are that most woman don’t find Ted Bundy attractive in the slightest because of his horrific crimes.
This issue isn’t going away and not just because there’s upcoming movie about Ted Bundy starring Zac Efron. If anything, it may become more pronounced as gender politics demonize men and masculinity, as a whole. When men have to be so careful in conducting themselves to avoid accusations of misogyny, they’ll have a hard time being dangerous. That’ll only make men like Ted Bundy stand out even more.
Despite all these factors, it’s still worth belaboring that Ted Bundy was a monster. Even though I tend to believe people are inherently good, Bundy is an example of just how evil a person can be. He deserves nothing but condemnation. The fact that there are women attracted to him is a symptom of how erratic our ideas about sex appeal are. Until danger loses its appeal, there will always be women who find Ted Bundy attractive.
As we get older, birthdays tend to lose their spectacle. At some point, we’re no longer excited about the prospects of cake, presents, and silly hats. We’re just content to have a day to ourselves and an excuse to drink heavily. However, there is one aspect about birthdays that has overtly sexual connotations and it’s not just about lovers being more willing to wear kinky underwear.
To some, it’s running joke. At some point in a long-term relationship, you can only expect those sexy moments on your birthday and your anniversary. More often than not, it’s your birthday that’s more fun because you’re in a better position to set the mood. That works great if you’ve got a kinky mind, but not so much if that’s the only love-making you can look forward to.
As a romantic and a fan of all things sexy, I believe that sexy potential of birthdays is grossly undervalued. It shouldn’t be among the handful of days when you can assume some extra intimacy with your lover. It should be one of those occasions where you let your mind run a little wild and take your lover along for the ride.
To some extent, birthdays are already sexy. It marks a day that wouldn’t have been possible if someone hadn’t gotten laid. It’s worth celebrating, no matter how old you are. Our lives literally began with a sexy moment. Why not use the anniversary of your birth to add to it? Today is not my birthday, but I hope this Daily Sexy Musing gets adults and their lovers excited about celebrating again. Enjoy!
On this day, years ago, an act of love began my life.
On this day, here and now, I continue that life in my own special way.
It has been a life of many upheavals. However, the obstacles became opportunities and losses became lessons. At every turn, I learned and grew, becoming who I am and striving to be greater. Now, with another milestone met, I strive in a very special way.
What is a life well lived if not shared?
What is a life continued if not celebrated?
With you, I seek to share in the moment. This uniquely personal occasion, another year of life well-lived, I need no treats or presents. I seek only the most intimate kind of gift. From you, I seek something special that can neither be purchased nor packaged.
It’s a day like no other, your own personal holiday mixed with memories and reflections. You have a chance to look back and look forward, remembering what you’ve gained and mourning what you’ve lost. It’s also something more precious, a reason to go the extra mile and achieve something greater. With you, I don’t just seek it. I make it gift, both given and received.
The day is mine.
The moment is ours.
The party begins.
You offer yourself to me, perfectly wrapped and presented with glee. I unwrap it eagerly, the energy of youth flowing through me once more. No longer a child, but not constrained by age, I dare to play in life’s orchard. You are my playmate, a joy worth celebrating and a treat worth sharing.
Our love is a constant gift, but on this day, we celebrate in a way unique to this occasion. It is another year for me, but another blessing for us.
I am here.
We are together.
On this day, my birthday, we cherish the greatest gift we’ll ever have.
It’s finally here. That most holiest of days for football fans is upon us. Super Bowl LIII has arrived. Whether you’re a football fan, a sports fan, or just someone notices there are a lot of reruns on today, you feel its impact. It is, by sheer numbers, the most watched event on television and this year looks to raise the bar once again.
Now, I’m not particularly passionate about either team. Neither one of these teams were my pick to make it to the Super Bowl when the season started. I’m also among the many who were hoping to see anyone other than the New England Patriots playing for yet another title. I even feel like this game is already tainted because of a bullshit call that robbed the New Orleans Saints of a critical victory.
Regardless of my personal feelings, it’s a football game and the biggest game of the year, at that. That means I’m going to stock up on beer, buffalo wings, whiskey, chips, dip, and everything else that’s going to make me feel 20 pounds heavier tomorrow. Regardless of who hoists the Lombardi Trophy, I’m going to enjoy myself and so will many others.
Football may not inspire sexy thoughts in everyone. I’m sure there are plenty who are annoyed by how much coverage the Super Bowl gets every year. That said, I’m also sure those same people would admit that Tom Brady is one sexy piece of man meat. I’m a straight man and even I don’t deny that. His sex appeal alone is enough to inspire this week’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!
“What does it say about us that we shake hands with the one someone is most likely to use to masturbate?”
“We send mixed messages when we label sex as an adult subject and those who enjoy it too much as immature.”
“Orgasms are nature’s way of telling people that propagating a species can be fun.”
“The best sex often starts with something you shouldn’t do, becomes something you want to do, and ends as something you wish you’d done sooner.”
“The taboo of every sexual kink is directly proportional to the amount of lube it requires.”
“When it comes to sports, the will the win and the will to get laid aren’t always mutually exclusive.”
“Practically speaking, sex is the part of romantic chemistry that is most likely to make a literal and figurative mess.”
I hope that helped everyone work up an appetite, among other things, for the big game. I’m sure it’ll have many twists and turns. I’m also sure it’ll be full of controversy, regardless of who wins. Whatever the case, it’s the last football game of the season and it’s worth enjoying. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some extra-spicy wings to cook and a lot of beer to drink.
Many of us remember the movies, TV shows, novels, comic books, or video games that helped make us fans of a particular genre. They’re often profound moments in our lives, sparking a passion that inspires us to explore a world we didn’t know existed.
Movie buffs have that one movie that made them a fan of film.
Hardcore gamers have that one game that helped make them a fan of video games.
For romance fans, it’s no different. There’s often something that sparks our interest and inspires us to explore love, lust, and everything in between. Sometimes, it’s a book. Sometimes, it’s a personal moment. For me, it was a movie. Since today is February 2nd, I think most can already guess which movie I’m talking about.
That’s right. One of the catalysts that inspired my love of romance was the classic Bill Murray movie, “Groundhog Day.” While I won’t say it’s the sole reason for me becoming a romantic, seeing this movie marked a turning point for me. It marked the first time I enjoyed a movie because of its romantic sub-plot and not in spite of it. While it wouldn’t be the last, its impact is still special.
To appreciate that impact, I need to get a little personal about when I saw this movie and how it affected me. I didn’t see this movie when it was out in theaters. At the time, I was still somewhat of a kid. I say somewhat because I was at that point of childhood where people stop treating you like a baby and start preparing you for adulthood.
That also happens to be the time when your media consumption starts to diversify. It’s no longer cartoons and Disney movies. You finally start to watch other TV shows and movies with more mature themes. You don’t make the leap to R-rated, but you’re at a point where singing animals and distressed princesses just aren’t cutting it anymore.
It’s here where I need to give credit and thanks to my awesome mother, which I’ve done before. While my father helped me take sports more seriously, my mother let me watch some more serious TV shows and movies with her. Again, it was nothing too extreme. It was mostly prime-time shows like “Seinfeld” and “The Simpsons.”
While those shows had some appeal to me, they didn’t have too great an impact. Then, one fateful day, I sat down to watch “Groundhog Day” with her. My mom loved the movie and I was already a fan of Bill Murray after “Ghostbusters.” It was just a perfect confluence of circumstances that went onto have a profound impact, even by Bill Murray standards.
For the first time in my life, I watched a movie where the love story didn’t follow the typical Disney formula. More importantly, it was a love story that didn’t bore or disinterest me. I found myself genuinely intrigued by Phil Connors’ adventures in his time loop and how Rita ended up being the key to helping him escape.
I watched as this eccentric character that only Bill Murray could play go from an egotistical asshole to someone capable of genuine love. I’d never seen that kind of character evolution before. On top of that, I’d never seen a female character as likable and fun as Rita before.
She wasn’t just some generic love interest.
She wasn’t just there to give Phil an emotional sub-plot.
She was a well-developed, complex character who I could root for as much as Phil in the end.
For a kid my age, this was an incredible concept that I found myself appreciating more than most. I had friends and relatives my age who liked the movie too, but not in the same way I did. They appreciated the comedy and the always-endearing charisma that is Bill Murray, but the romance was usually secondary. For me, it helped make the movie special on a very personal level.
Charisma like this appeals to any age.
After seeing “Groundhog Day” and its unique approach to romance, I started to appreciate romantic sub-plots in other mediums. I paid more attention to it in the comics I read. I followed it more closely in the cartoons and TV shows I watched. In time, my interest in romance evolved into a full-blown passion. For that, I’ll always be thankful to this movie, my mother, and Bill Murray.
Even today, I can appreciate the unique way “Groundhog Day” went about telling a love story. Even by modern standards, its brand of romance holds up very well. It avoids many of the standard tropes that often plague modern romance in media.
In the beginning, Phil isn’t romantically interested in Rita. She isn’t interested in him, either. There’s no elaborate plot involving love-at-first-sight or friends-becoming-lovers. Instead, “Groundhog Day” takes a more refined approach. It starts with Phil becoming more interested in Rita, but not entirely in a romantic sense. That comes later and the love is more genuine because of it.
It doesn’t happen all at once. In fact, there’s a brief montage of all the ways Phil fails to win Rita’s love. Given the constraints of the time loop, that’s understandable. However, it’s still heartbreaking for Phil because you get the sense that he wants to love someone. He’s all alone in this temporal purgatory. His ego is no longer enough.
Over the course of the movie, Phil evolves into the kind of person that Rita falls in love with. Towards the end, she begins pursuing him and much as he pursues her. It’s not just about the man proving his worth to a woman, as is often the case in every movie featuring a princess. Their love only becomes real when they both pursue each other.
Even by modern standards, which have become a lot less forgiving, the romance in “Groundhog Day” is remarkably balanced. By the end, you get the sense that Phil and Rita genuinely want to be together for all the right reasons. Being trapped in that time loop made Phil a better person. That person is someone Rita fell in love with. Even as a kid, I thought that was incredibly sweet.
I still remember how much I smiled when I saw that last scene in the movie with Phil and Rita venturing out into the snow together. Only a handful of movies have ever made me smile like that since and “Groundhog Day” was the first to do it through romance. On top of the many other accolades this movie has received over the years, it succeeded on a very personal level with me.
I’ll never know for sure if I would’ve become a romance fan I am today if I hadn’t seen “Groundhog Day.” I tend to believe that I’m the kind of person who would gravitate towards it eventually. However, I don’t doubt for a second that this movie helped shape me into the romantic I am today. For that reason, Groundhog Day, both the holiday and the movie, will hold a special place in my heart.
At this point, hoping for more is just being greedy. With a sequel to “Venom” in the works and other spin-off projects in the pipeline, it almost feels wrong to hope for something specific. Marvel, Sony, and Disney are already giving us so much. What more can they possibly offer?
Well, I’d like to make the case that there is one particular branch of the evolving Spider-Man universe that warrants greater attention. It’s something that was already hinted at within “Into The Spider-Verse” and I feel she could have a greater than any other Spidy-centric media. The timing is right. The market is ripe for her ascension. It’s just a matter of building on foundation that is already rich with potential.
I’m referring to Spider-Woman, also known as Gwen Stacy, but best known as Spider-Gwen. In the mythos of Spider-Man, she’s a fairly recent development. However, her rise to prominence has been nothing short of spectacular and I believe she has done plenty to warrant her own place in the franchise.
Most Spider-Man fans know the name, Gwen Stacy. She has had a prominent place in the Spider-Man comics for decades. However, like Miles Morales, Spider-Gwen emerged in an alternate universe where known characters are different and events unfold differently. Her sequence in “Into The Spider-Verse” offered a brief overview of who she was, but her story is far richer than that.
That story still contains many of the iconic themes associated with Spider-Man. Issues like power, responsibility, and dealing with J. Jonah Jameson are a huge part of Spider-Gwen’s story. However, there are a few distinct variations that help set her apart and it’s because of those traits that I believe she can carry her own movie.
What follows are just a few reasons for why I feel that way. There are probably plenty more that other Spider-Gwen fans will resent me for skipping. I understand and accept that responsibility. Since these are such great times for Spider-Man fans, I like to think we don’t need that many reasons to give someone like Spider-Gwen her own movie.
Reason #1: She Sets Herself Apart From Peter Parker (Aside From Being A Woman)
If the success of “Into The Spider-Verse” taught us anything, other than the inherent appeal of cartoon pigs, it’s that you don’t have to be Peter Parker in order to embody the themes of Spider-Man. Miles Morales did a lot to set himself apart in terms of personality, circumstances, and abilities. Spider-Gwen does plenty of that too, but she takes it even further.
In the world of Spider-Gwen, the story of Gwen Stacy unfolds very differently. She’s not a nerd like Peter. She’s not a biracial teen trying to fit in at a new school. She’s the same sweet girl that Spider-Man fans know from classic stories. That all changes when she gets bit by that radioactive spider instead of Peter.
The Gwen Stacy that emerged after is still Gwen, but she goes about utilizing her powers very differently compared to Peter. They change the way she carries herself. She doesn’t approach them the same way as Peter or other Spider-Man characters. She follows her own path, complete with her own sense of power and responsibility.
Her approach is not radically different from that of Peter Parker, but it still feels distinct. How Gwen becomes Spider-Woman and how this affects her, as a character, is not a story that can be told with Peter Parker, Miles Morales, or any other character, for that matter. The fact she’s a woman at a time when female superheroes have been subject to greater scrutiny is just a nice bonus.
Moreover, the story of Peter Parker has been told and retold many times, already. There have been three distinct timelines with threedifferentactors taking on the role. There’s only so much more that can be done at this point. Gwen Stacy is a different story, but one that’s familiar enough to fit into the greater Spider-Man mythos.
Reason #2: Her Story Brings A Unique Set Of Challenges (Aside From Being A Woman)
Being a masked vigilante is hard. Five decades of Spider-Man comics and three movie franchises have done plenty to establish that. However, Peter Parker never had to deal with being a vigilante while having a cop for a parent. He also never had to be the prime suspect in the death of a friend that he tried desperately to protect.
Those are just some of the challenges Gwen faces throughout her story in the comics. Unlike Peter, she’s not just another high school student trying to balance her personal life with her superhero life. She faces far greater challenges than not having a date to the prom or showing up late to class.
One of her biggest challenges, throughout her story, revolves around being a vigilante while her father, George Stacy, is a cop with the NYPD. On top of that, he’s initially tasked with arresting Spider-Woman because she’s implicated in the death of Peter Parker. Learning that his daughter is Spider-Woman only compounds that challenge.
There’s a lot of drama in that dynamic. If you want to see how it plays out, I strongly recommend checking out the comic series written by Jason Latour. These challenges are things that you won’t find in a Spider-Man story with Peter Parker. Like her counterparts, Gwen bears many burdens and responsibilities, but having a cop for a father only makes it harder.
At a time when the conduct of the police is under more scrutiny than ever, I think a Spider-Gwen movie could explore those conflicts better than most. Beyond giving Gwen different obstacles, it offers a different perspective on what it means to be a hero and how difficult it is to manage when family affairs get involved.
Reason #3: The (Fitting) Tragedy Of Peter Parker In Her World
It’s impossible to tell the story of Spider-Gwen without telling the story of Peter Parker in her world. Her version of Peter is very different in that not getting bit by that radioactive spider sent him down a darker path. His story is one of tragedy, but it’s the kind of tragedy that complements Gwen’s story and fits perfectly with the themes of Spider-Man.
In many respects, Peter fills the role of Uncle Ben in the world of Spider-Gwen, but not in the same way. It’s not a classic case of failing to stop him from getting hurt by a random accident. Gwen actually went out of her way to protect Peter. Getting superpowers actually made that easier for her. She sees him as her friend and wants to help him.
However, in doing so, Peter makes some fateful decisions that result in his death. It’s not just tragic. It’s gut-wrenching for Gwen. She has to watch this boy she cares about die because he wanted to be more like her. She’s very much responsible for what happened to him. On top of that, Spider-Woman is blamed for his death, thanks to shoddy reporting by J. Jonah Jameson.
This version of Peter is powerful in how it twists the classic Spider-Man narrative without warping it entirely. By helping Peter like she did, Gwen ultimately failed him. That’s a different, but effective way to learn the importance of power and responsibility.
Reason #4: She’s Likable In Many Ways (More So Than Peter)
Even in stories where she doesn’t have powers, Gwen Stacy is a genuinely likable character. She’s sweet, fun-loving, and genuine. She’s the kind of girl you can be friends with and/or fall in love with. She’s honest and blunt in how she deals with people. She’s also compassionate and understanding. Getting superpowers only enhances these traits.
What we saw in “Into The Spider-Verse” was just a small sample of a much richer persona. Her attitude, as well as her ability to connect with others in awkward situations, is plenty endearing. In the comics, we see this manifest in many other ways. From the way she deals with her father to how she interacts with her band-mates in their all-female band, the Mary Janes, is likable on so many levels.
I would go so far as to argue that she’s a lot more likable than Peter Parker, if only because she’s less prone to brooding and whining. Throughout the comics, she ends up in some pretty rough situations, which include being actively hunted by the NYPD and unable to go home to her father after he learns of her identity. It’s rough, but at no point does she just whine about it.
As sweet as Gwen is, she also has grit. She knows how to endure a lousy situation and when the going gets tough, she finds a way to get stronger. She still messes up along the way. In fact, she messes up a lot in the comics, but she learns from her mistakes and she grows along the way.
I’m not saying Peter Parker hasn’t grown over the years, but even after five decades of comics, cartoons, and movies, his growth tends to regularly stagnate. Every time he seems to move forward with his life, he takes a step back, whether it’s undoing a marriage or losing his billion-dollar company.
Spider-Gwen may not have had as much time to grow and regress, but her story has been allowed to evolve in many ways since her debut. That development is full of opportunities. Even though she has only been web-swinging since 2014, she has plenty of material for a great movie.
Reason #5: Her Story Is Not Bogged Down By Continuity
This is more a logistical issue than anything else. Peter Parker has been around since the Kennedy Administration. His story has years upon years of continuity that effectively shackle him from radical change. I’ve mentioned before how all superheroes are subject to these constraints. I’ve even argued that Spider-Man is more inept than most at dealing with them.
With Spider-Gwen, however, there are far fewer constraints and many potential avenues for growth. Her story, and that of her distinct alternate universe, is in its infancy, relative to other superheroes. She hasn’t been around long enough for complications and retcons to accumulate. She can follow many different paths, both in the comics and in the movies.
One of the common complaints that comic fans will levy against a movie is how closely it follows the source material. Since Peter Parker is such an icon, there’s not a lot of wiggle room. With Spider-Gwen, there isn’t much source material from which to deviate. “Into The Spider-Verse” already captured the basics. A full-fledged Spider-Gwen movie will have plenty of flexibility.
There are plenty of other reasons I could list to justify Spider-Gwen getting her own movie. She’s a great character who embodies unique aspects of the greater Spider-Man mythos. Given the current state of the superhero genre, especially with respect to box office returns, I don’t think Sony, Marvel, and Disney need many to make Spider-Gwen their next success story.
When you’re lonely, seeing a happy couple sharing a loving gesture can feel like a punch in the gut. I remember that feeling well. I’ve gone through stretches where I felt so miserable and alone that the sight of playful hand-holding was enough to make me cringe. Even as a romance fan, such a sight was distressing for me.
However, as I’ve gotten older and more mature, I’ve come to appreciate public displays of affection. Even when I feel lonely, seeing two people freely express their love for all to see is kind of refreshing. Given the current state of the world, I take comfort in seeing real love manifest before me.
I know public displays of affection are taboo for many people and cultures, but that only makes it more alluring in some ways. Couples who show their love in public directly counter the notion that the world has to be this cold, hostile place. Even if you share Rick Sanchez’s opinion on love, there’s something to be said about giving a loving middle finger to a world that seems determined to undermine it.
Whether it makes you sick or warms your heart, public displays of affection is a subtle, but powerful way in which we demonstrate love for one another. It’s not the most lurid act a couple could do, but it’s often a catalyst. This Daily Sexy Musing is my personal case for the inherent value of these affections. Even if they remind you how lonely you feel, they can also remind you of why love is worth pursuing.
It’s sunny, warm, and clear.
Broad daylight illuminates everything in all directions.
There are many potential eyes on us.
None of that matters. It doesn’t bother us in the slightest. We still make our way through this public domain, vulnerable and exposed for all to see. There’s no hiding from scrutiny. With only a glance, anyone can cast judgement. It still doesn’t matter. If anything, we welcome that judgement.
I hold your hand.
I kiss your lips.
I embrace you intimately.
I make my love for you clear for all to see.
To some, it’s immature. Other’s find it offensive, two people expressing for all a feeling that they deem private. It’s like we gave them a peak into our bedroom, showing to them what we show to each other when we embrace our passions. We offer only a glimpse of the most tempered manifestation of our love. For some, it’s still too much.
What does that say about the breadth of our love? It’s so intense that even the slightest display is too much for the rest of the world. It shows that our love cannot be contained. Some feelings cannot and should not be sheltered within cold walls. Love seeks the light. Passion always boils to the surface.
We make our love known.
We convey our feelings freely and openly.
We tell the world how much we love each other.
Under clear skies and beaming sunlight, we share ourselves with a world full of repression and judgement. We feel every harsh gaze and bemused scorn. We even sense the indifference of many, as though our love is just a brief gust on a calm day. It still doesn’t matter. We still show off our love for all to see. In the end, our hearts will be the ultimate judge.
Every Wednesday is a holiday for comic book fans. That’s the day when a fresh batch of comics from companies we love to complain about give us a fresh dose of ink-laden awesome. Within each batch of books are plenty of comics to brighten your week and make the world a little more magical. I try to single one particular comic out from that pack that I feel has more magic than most.
This week’s comic quick pick was tricky. There were some quality books this week from the likes of X-men, Justice League, Wonder Woman, and Spider-Man. However, one book found a way to stand out in the most adorable way possible. That book is “Ms. Marvel #37” and if you have a low tolerance for cuteness, this book may be too much for you.
I’ve sang the praises of Kamala Khan in the past. I’ll likely find new ways to praise her in the future, especially if she ends up joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe. She’s one of the most likable characters in all of superhero comics. It helps that she hasn’t been around long enough to do something awful, but it also helps when her personal struggles and her superhero struggles blend together perfectly.
That’s the primary theme in “Ms. Marvel #37.” There isn’t a villain to fight, for once. There is a disaster, but it’s not caused by a 100-foot monster or a mad scientist with access to too much plutonium. It’s caused by some a mix of bad luck and poor infrastructure, something that just happens to be a growing issue in the real world.
It’s not nearly as preachy as it sounds. It’s the kind of issue that the Avengers and other superhero teams don’t get to do often enough, help innocent people dealing with a disaster. Kamala gets to be a different kind of hero, one who does more than just punch villains. It helps reinforce that she’s not just a hero for the sake of wearing a fancy costume. She’s a hero because she genuinely wants to do the right thing.
What a concept, right? Kamala is someone who just does the right thing because it’s the right thing. Superman doesn’t have to be the only one with those kinds of values. Unlike Superman, though, Kamala has to do the right thing while babysitting. No, I’m not referring to having an annoying side-kick. I’m talking about a real, actual, diaper-wearing baby.
That baby belongs to her brother, Aamir. He entrusted Kamala and his wife’s brother, Gabe, to watch him. It started going wrong before people needed rescuing, albeit in a hilariously endearing way. Kamala has dealt with some pretty major threats since becoming Ms. Marvel. However, she’s never dealt with a baby and that overwhelms her than her last team-up with Carol Danvers.
It’s as hilarious as it is fitting. It shows that Kamala is still a teenage girl. She’s still young and easily overwhelmed by things she isn’t familiar with. She ends up having to rely on friends and supporting cast to help her, of which she has many. They all have a knack for showing Kamala that things don’t have to be as dire as she thinks. Experience will help you cope, regardless of whether you’re a superhero.
It’s a good message that’s a lot more useful than old PSA’s about eating vegetables and saying no to drugs. “Ms. Marvel #37” continues Kamala’s tradition of making a positive statement through superhero comics, something that seems corny on paper, but works beautifully through her.
It’s part of what makes Kamala so endearing. It’s also what makes her such an effective superhero as Ms. Marvel. She doesn’t just save the day. She inspires others and is, in turn, inspired by them. When things get rough, she reacts in a way that feels distinctly human. In the Marvel universe, which is populated by gods, demigods, and Squirrel Girl, it’s nothing short of refreshing.
To say Kamala has a rough, but enlightening day in “Ms. Marvel #37” would be accurate. It’s just as accurate to say that she has a few low points where she lets the stresses of babysitting and superhero work get to her. That only makes how she handles it that much more fitting.
“Ms. Marvel #37” is not part of a larger story arc, nor is it tied to some ongoing event. It’s a simple, self-contained comic that G. Willow Wilson and Nico Leon use to remind us why Kamala Khan is so lovable. In that sense, it works. In another, the final page provides an ominous hint that Kamala and her family are about to endure a major upheaval in the best possible way.
There are a lot of events going on in the world of superheroes. It’s tough, if not frustrating, to keep up with all of them. That’s exactly what makes “Ms. Marvel #37” so enjoyable. It’s one comic with one story about one lovable hero. You get you’re money’s worth, both in terms of satisfaction and feels. What more could you want?
We’re often told that a couple that plays together stays together. There’s even some evidence that there’s truth to it. Most don’t argue with that sentiment and, being a romantic, I certainly wouldn’t. However, I think it’s just as true that a couple who works together can be just as strong.
By working together, I don’t mean sharing household chores. I’m referring to people who meet in their professional lives. That happens more often than most people realize. Even in an era where everyone is more vigilant about workplace harassment, it’s still a common source for romantic entanglements.
Logistically, it makes sense. If you’re around someone for long stretches of time, working together and achieving things, that’s going to create some level of bond. Under the right conditions, this bond can evolve and become something more intimate. It’s taboo in some places, but that only makes the romantic potential even more potent.
The workplace isn’t usually someone’s first choice in which to forge a meaningful romance, but it’s hardly the last. I have relatives and close friends who met their spouse at work. This Daily Sexy Musing as a testament to the special kind of romance that can emerge through working relationships. Working together is already pretty intimate. Adding romance just incorporates some sexier elements.
Each and every day, our paths cross and our goals align. We push, support, and aid one another in a shared vision. Everything is so formal and every task is full of rigor. These are challenges that we cannot confront alone. We need help. We need each other.
Our sweat is shared.
Our lives are entwined.
Our worlds are linked.
Our efforts are united.
Already, I feel a bond. I trust in you and you trust in me. In the beginning, there were limits. Like impenetrable walls, it only went so far. We didn’t dare look beyond. The thought, alone, seemed outrageous. It would only complicate something that was working so well.
Then, I dared to think.
From that thought, I felt something for you.
From that feeling, the walls crumbled.
Suddenly, you’re not just an ally who aids my efforts. I want to be with you outside the hours in which we work. I crave a situation that isn’t bound by punch cards and pay periods. We do such great work together. What else can we do together?
Such a question is difficult to ask, but one that deserves an answer. Doing so invites complications, conflicts, and challenges. I don’t care, though. If anything, I welcome them. You and I have already taken the first step. Why not take more?
As we work, we learn together.
As we toil, we struggle together.
As we achieve, we succeed together.
What happens when we embrace? What might we create if we turn our work into passion and our passion into something greater? Not knowing is painful. Not even trying is agony.
I also understand that there are people who don’t share those passions. Some may even see them as childish and foolish. That’s perfectly fine. It doesn’t make them a bad person, by default. It doesn’t even mean I can’t get along with them or agree with them on other issues.
The fact I have to make that disclaimer only makes the current state of affairs more frustrating. I feel it’s more necessary now because I’m about to address a topic has evoked all the wrong emotions for all the wrong reasons. Normally, my first instinct is to avoid such controversy, but since it involves superhero comics, I feel inclined to respond.
It started late last year with a blog post by Bill Maher, a late night talk show host for the long-running HBO series, “Real Time With Bill Maher.” That blog post came shortly after the death of Stan Lee and, without going too heavily into details, attacked the culture behind comic books and superhero media.
Many took that post as an insult to the legacy of Stan Lee. Having read that post multiple times, I really didn’t get that sense. I won’t deny that I took some offense to it, but I’ve read far more offensive things in the comments section of YouTube videos. The fact that it got such a visceral reaction only skewed the conversation even more.
Then, this past week on his show, Mr. Maher finally addressed the issue again in the closing commentary on his show. If you haven’t seen it, here it is.
The long and short of it is his commentary had less to do with Stan Lee and more to do with people who think comic books warrant serious cultural weight. He goes onto bemoan how people cling to the things they loved as kids as a way of avoiding the adult world. It’s less an indictment on people who like comics and more a criticism of people who whine about adulting, in general.
To some extent, I understand his criticism. There are people in this world who try to avoid adult responsibilities at every turn. They don’t want to deal with the harshness of the real world and cling to fantasies about having superpowers that render those problems moot. Even as someone who loves superhero comics and movies, I think that’s an issue for some people.
For most people though, it’s just fun. Mr. Maher seems to completely overlook that. I don’t care how old you get. Having fun is fun. Comics are a lot of fun to read, follow, and enjoy. The more “serious” pieces of literature that he recommends in his commentary probably have plenty of merit, but they’re not nearly as fun.
The idea that he finds superhero media as childish is understandable. Bill Maher is over 60 years old. For most of his life, comic books and superheroes have been for children. It’s only within the last 30 years that they’ve matured to a point where they appeal to all ages, so much so that they’ve raked in over $20 billion at the box office. You don’t make that much money on childish things.
In addition to box office billions, some comics have gained serious acclaim. A select few have even been recognized as some of the greatest literary works in the past 100 years. I doubt Mr. Maher is aware of this because most of these amazing works happened after he became an adult. I imagine that if you were to ask most people his age, they would agree that comics shouldn’t be considered serious literature.
I respectfully disagree with that notion and I know many others disagree as well. That said, I doubt anyone will ever convince Mr. Maher that he’s wrong. He has made his politics very clear on many occasions and I don’t doubt he’ll say other offensive things in the future.
At the very least, I can offer Mr. Maher some perspective. I believe that, if he were to give comics a chance, he would see their literary value. He may still think they’re childish, but I think he would have a greater appreciation for the medium, if only because he sees how it has evolved since he was a kid.
What follows are five comics that I would personally recommend to Mr. Maher. I feel these books would help show just how salient comics can be in terms of society, politics, and art. While I doubt he’ll give them a chance, I hope others who share his sentiments take a moment to see why comic books and superhero media have become such an integral part of our culture.
Watchmen
This is an easy choice and not just because Watchmen routinely ranks near the top as on of the greatest comic books of all time. This seminal work by Alan Moore and David Gibbons actually speaks to the same criticisms that Mr. Maher levied against superheroes. Watchmen is, at its heart, the ultimate deconstruction of the entire concept of superheroes.
This story isn’t just about heroes fighting villains or heroes fighting other heroes. Watchmen is a story with deep, philosophical overtones about what it means to wield power and make peace in a chaotic world. It casts a harsh light on the dangers of relying on superheroes or super-powered beings to solve big problems on the global stage. It’s a sentiment that Mr. Maher himself has made on more than one occasion.
Being a political person, I believe Mr. Maher would find a lot to enjoy about the world of Watchmen. Beyond the art and the complexities of the story, it has a message that goes beyond good guys fighting bad guys.
In many respects, Watchmen was the comic that broke all the rules and ushered the medium into a new era. It proved that a comic could make serious contributions to the world of literature. Between its unique place in the history of comics and the awards it received, I think Watchmen can prove to Mr. Maher that comics can be great works of art that tell relevant messages for the real world.
Sandman
This is another series that routinely gets mentioned in discussions surrounding the greatest comics of all time. Like Watchmen, Sandman pushed the limits on what a comic book could be. It’s not a standard superhero comic. It’s not about heroes searching for some ominous glowing object, which is something Mr. Maher pointed out in his criticism. Sandman is deeper than that.
The writer of Sandman, Neil Gaiman, dared to craft a more mature fantasy. This is a world where mythological figures like Morpheus, Lucifer, and even characters from the bible interact with one another in a complex narrative that provides insight into spirituality, religion, and philosophy.
I believe that insight would appeal to Mr. Maher more than most and not just because he’s a self-admitted stoner. Say what you will about him, but he’s a very intelligent man who went to an Ivy League school. He also majored in English, which I think would make Sandman that much more appealing to him.
The story in Sandman is not something most children will understand or appreciate. Even most adults may struggle to make sense of the various themes that Gaiman explores throughout the book. It’s a powerful story, but one that works best in the medium of comics. I think if Mr. Maher gave Sandman a chance, he would see that.
X-men: God Loves, Man Kills
Even though Mr. Maher singled out superheroes as the most childish element of comics, I believe there are still a select few that would still appeal to him, if only because of his political leanings. Mr. Maher has always identified as a liberal and routinely espouses the value of liberal principles. He grew up watching the civil rights movement unfold and it has clearly had an impact on him.
That’s exactly why a comic like X-men: God Loves, Man Kills would resonate with him. Even though it follows many common superhero themes, this classic X-men story by legendary X-men writer, Chris Claremont, goes much further in linking the struggle of the X-men with that of civil rights.
This story is less about the X-men fighting killer robots and more about confronting the depths of human bigotry. In addition to providing the inspiration for “X2,” it explores a kind of bigotry that feels like it was ripped from the real world. It even throws religion into the mix with the introduction of Reverend William Stryker, a man who has drawn more than a few comparisons with Vice President Mike Pence.
Mr. Maher will probably notice those parallels more than most. He has made no secret of his disdain for organized religion and the people who use it to justify their bigotry. X-men: God Loves, Man Kills tells a story of just how dangerous that kind of religiously-motivated bigotry can get. Even though it’s still a superhero story, it doesn’t hide from the real-world parallels.
Good literature, whether it’s a comic book or a novel, often reflects the controversies of its time. The X-men were created right at the onset of the Civil Rights Movement. Stan Lee has gone on record as saying that elements of the X-men were inspired by real life heroes of the Civil Rights Movement. As both a proud liberal and a critic of religion, Mr. Maher will find plenty to like about this classic X-men story.
All-Star Superman
This story might be the toughest sell for Mr. Maher. However, I think if any comic can demonstrate the value of superheroes, it’s All-Star Superman. This love letter to Superman and all the fanciful themes surrounding him is a celebration of the ultimate hero. Even if Mr. Maher thinks idolizing heroes is dangerous, I think even he’ll appreciate why Superman is such an icon after 80 years.
What makes All-Star Superman special isn’t in how it depicts the Man of Steel at his best. It’s not just about him saving the day, defeating Lex Luthor, and winning the love of Lois Lane. More than anything else, the story that Grant Morrison and Frank Quietly tell demonstrates just how much Superman inspires those around him.
Throughout the series, there are many great moments that are full of heart, hope, and compassion. Some of it is cartoonishly over-the-top, but it never feels corny. There’s never a point where Superman takes a moment to tell a bunch of kids to eat their vegetables and stay in school. It doesn’t try to make Superman someone he’s not. He’s the ultimate paragon of virtue and this series just runs with that.
To further raise the stakes, this version of Superman is living on borrowed time. As powerful as he is, he has saved the day one time too many. He basically has to do what he can with what little time he has left to make the world a better place. It’s an endeavor that even Mr. Maher can appreciate.
More than once, Mr. Maher has tried to inspire others to be better. Even if his efforts are politically motivated, the will to inspire is something he’s always shown, going back to his days on “Politically Incorrect.” Even if he thinks Superman comics are for kids, he can still appreciate Superman’s efforts to inspire the good in others.
Y: The Last Man
This is another acclaimed comic series that doesn’t rely on superheroes, fancy costumes, or superpowers. At a time when gender politics are such a hot topic, a series like Y: The Last Man is more relevant than ever. This beloved comic by Brian K. Vaughan and Pia Guerra takes issues surrounding gender to an apocalyptic extreme.
As someone who has routinely criticized how the debate surrounding feminism and gender has evolved, I believe Mr. Maher will find a lot to like about Y: The Last Man. This is a story that puts men and women in the ultimate bind. One day, without warning, every creature on Earth with a Y chromosome just keels over and dies. Only one man, Yorick Brown, and his pet monkey, Ampersand, survive.
The story the follows is both a fight for survival and a critical insight into what happens when gender dynamics operate in extremes. The world that Vaughan and Guerra show just how much men and women rely on one another without realizing it. When one is completely removed from the equation, it pushes people beyond the brink.
At the same time, it shows just how resilient people can be in terrible situations. The will to survive knows no gender. It can bring out the best and the worst in someone, but the best is what usually keeps driving us. Mr. Maher has often spoken urgently about issues like climate change. The apocalyptic setting of Y: The Last Man shows why that urgency is necessary.
Again, I don’t expect Mr. Maher to change his mind on much. He has made it abundantly clear in the past that he is very set in his ways. However, if he is genuinely open to seeing the merits of comic books, these titles should help. Comic books may have been for kids when he was a kid. They have since become so much more and their legacy, like that of Stan Lee’s, will continue for generations to come.
This is the time of year where a nice, warm blanket really shows its value. For someone like me, who enjoys sleeping naked, it’s hard to overstate that value. As I write this, my part of the world is going through the coldest parts of winter. It’s so cold outside that I wouldn’t be shocked if a penguin walked by at some point. That makes every blanket I own more important.
There’s also an inherently sexy side of soft blankets. Most people these days would rather not make love or get frisky atop a bare mattress, especially in the middle of winter. They’d rather be surrounded by warm, fuzzy blankets that keep them warm so that they can keep the mood sexy. It’s a critical, but underappreciated piece of love, sex, and everything in between.
For this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts, I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge and cherish the warmth that these thick, cozy blankets give us. Even if you’re in a tropical climate, there’s just something intimate about covering yourself and your lover within one. It’s one of the simplest tools with which to create a sexy moment. During this time of year, those moments are extra special.
“To some extent, flirting is advertising the use of your genitals.”
“Angry sex is like extra-spicy food in that it can be an unpleasant feeling that’s still somehow satisfying.”
“Wet dreams are like movie trailers for your genitals.”
“The difference between odor and musk is in the inherent sex appeal of the activity that causes it.”
“For some, slut shaming is just jealousy for someone else having more skill and experience.”
“Is it just a coincidence that our most embarrassing and satisfying involve nudity?”
“Quality romance is simply porn with better acting and more plot.”
I hope everyone now has a new appreciation for the soft, warm blankets they may own. I also hope everyone now has more incentive to curl up with their lover inside one, creating the warmth they’ll need to endure the rest of the winter season. I can’t guarantee a soft blanket will always make for a sexy moment. It’ll just make pursuing one a lot easier.
/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/59516921/avengers_thanos_concept.0.jpg)
Jack Fisher's Official Publishing Blog 