December 21, 2018 · 10:05 am

Why “Bad Santa” Is The Greatest Modern Christmas Movie

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This is the time of year where you can’t go more than a half-hour without seeing a Christmas movie on TV. We’re basically in the heart of the holiday season. People have finally stopped complaining about Christmas decorations going up too early or getting a head start on their shopping. It’s not just fast-approaching anymore. The holidays are here.

Now, I love the holidays as much as anyone. As such, I have a strong appreciation for Christmas movies. I often go through stretches in December where I’ll watch at least part of a Christmas movie every day. It’s a beautiful thing that gets me in the spirit and gives me an excuse to drink eggnog spiked with whiskey.

I have a long list of personal favorites. I’m also among those who argue vehemently that “Die Hard” qualifies as a Christmas movie. Despite what Bruce Willis himself says, this movie will always be part of my holiday viewing schedule. I could write multiple articles to justify that position, but that’s not my intent here.

In recent years, I’ve found myself immersed in another argument surrounding a unique kind of Christmas movie. That movie is a lesser-known, but underrated gem called “Bad Santa.” If you’ve seen it, then you probably understand why it inspires such colorful discussions during the holidays. If you haven’t, then I urge you to check it out, but do not watch it with your children.

Make no mistake. “Bad Santa” is to Christmas movies what the McRib is to fast food fans. It’s one of those rare movies that doesn’t just go in the opposite direction of every classic trope associated with a particular genre. It gives those themes the finger, kicks it in the balls, and throws up on them for good measure.

This movie has no holiday miracles. There’s no magic at work. There’s no heartwarming moments that reaffirm the spirit of the season. This movie is weapons grade cynicism for all things Christmas and it goes about it in a way that’s vulgar, crude, disgusting, and hilarious.

The story is not for the faint of heart. It follows Willie Soke, a degenerate, misanthropic, womanizing, alcoholic who makes his living cracking safes with his dwarf partner-in-crime, Marcus Skidmore. Their tactics are the antithesis of the holiday spirit. Willie works as a mall Santa while Marcus works as an elf. They work at malls during the holidays and then rob them on Christmas Eve.

If you expect the movie to be a feel-good holiday story about a criminal redeeming himself during Christmas, then prepare to be disappointed. Willie is not that kind of character and “Bad Santa” does not tell that kind of story. While Willie does undergo some growth, he’s still an asshole by the time the credits roll.

The story doesn’t try to redeem Willie. It doesn’t even try to put him on the path to becoming a better person. All the Christmas miracles in world can’t do that for someone like him. However, his story does bring something uniquely festive to the table. The way things play out for Willie and those around him convey a powerful message that resonates with the holiday season in its own perverse way.

Some go so far as to argue that “Bad Santa” is an anti-Christmas movie. I can understand that sentiment to some extent. However, I would argue that “Bad Santa” is one of those movies that has become more relevant with time. I would even argue that, in the context of the modern spirit of Christmas, “Bad Santa” is the greatest modern Christmas movie.

Now, I know that won’t sit well with those who still love “It’s A Wonderful Life” or “How The Grinch Stole Christmas.” I don’t deny that those are great Christmas movies that deserve to be classics. I’m not arguing that “Bad Santa” is better than those movies or deserves to be in the same category. I simply believe that “Bad Santa” is the greatest Christmas movie for the current times in which we live and these are my reasons why.

Reason #1: It Reflects The Real (And Increasingly Jaded) World

Let’s face it. These are not the upbeat, idealistic times of yesteryear. People no longer trust in their government. People keep seeing once-beloved celebrities self-destruct. In general, people just aren’t confident about the future anymore. As a society, we’re becoming more and more jaded. That’s exactly the kind of sentiment that “Bad Santa” appeals to.

This movie is a world where assholes keep being assholes. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. That may not be a great basis for a Christmas movie, but it perfectly represents the real world, now more than ever. In this day and age, we see famous and powerful people get away with awful things time and again. There’s no miracle that comes around to right all the wrongs.

In “Bad Santa,” this harsh view of the world isn’t avoided. For the entire movie, Willie essentially channels the defeatist attitude of Al Bundy. His life sucks. He hates himself. He barely even flinches when he’s staring down the barrel of a gun at one point. Beyond the self-loathing, though, he finds a way to provide real insights into the holidays.

Do we really need all the crap we ask for on Christmas? Do we really need magic, miracles, or some grand spectacle to appreciate it? Willie’s entire persona is an indictment of those who rely too much on magical thinking during the holidays. In the real world, that doesn’t get anyone anything other than a gut punch and a kick in the ass.

Reason #2: It Relies On Choices Rather Than Miracles

As deplorable a human being as Willie Soke is, he does have one defining trait that makes him somewhat sympathetic. He doesn’t make excuses. He doesn’t blame the world or everyone else for his lousy lot in life. He’s very much a product of his choices. He chooses to drink, spit, swear, and piss himself while wearing a Santa suit. There’s no extenuating circumstances. These are his choices.

Granted, they’re deplorable choices from someone inclined to self-destruction, but he makes them freely and doesn’t hide from the consequences. These same choices are what makes his relationship to the dense, but lovable kid in the movie, Therman, so meaningful. Willie has no reason to care or help this kid in any capacity and the kid is in no position to stop him.

In the end, though, Willie doesn’t need a miracle or some visit from Christmas spirits to make his choices. Therman’s influence on him, while ridiculous and downright pathetic at times, is sufficient for him to make the choices that make the story work. While they don’t necessarily redeem Willie for all his misdeeds, it does show that even a drunk like him can do the right thing without a miracle.

That, in and of itself, is a testament to the spirit of Christmas. When someone like Willie Soke can actually choose to do something good for a gullible kid, then that offers hope to any jaded soul on the holidays.

Reason #3: It Highlights Small (But Meaningful) Gestures

Many of the most memorable Christmas movies often have these big, elaborate gestures that attempt to make our hearts gush with holiday cheer. Whether it’s embracing loved ones at the end of “It’s A Wonderful Life” or reuniting with family in “Home Alone,” it feels like a Christmas movie has to go overboard with holiday sentiment.

“Bad Santa” takes the exact opposite approach, but somehow finds a way to make those gestures more meaningful. The movie doesn’t take place in the North Pole or some fanciful holiday setting. It takes place in Phoenix, Arizona where it doesn’t snow and heavy coats are useless. It effectively removes the ambiance of the holidays beyond the tacky decorations that people put up.

That works perfectly for “Bad Santa” because it ensures any gesture carries more weight. Whether it’s Willie trying to get Thurman his Christmas present or Willie putting back together the Advent Calendar, these small moments feel bigger in a setting devoid of traditional holiday magic.

There’s no sweeping change that turns Phoenix into some sort of Christmas haven. The world of “Bad Santa” never tries to be anything other than a world of shallow holiday imagery because that’s all it needs. Anything more than that is just fantasy and there’s only so much fantasy you can muster in a story that follows a misanthropic drunk.

Reason #4: It Offers Perspective Rather Than Hope

Another major trait of classic Christmas movies is the hope they inspire. When you get to the end of a Christmas movie, you’re supposed to feel a sense of hope. There’s this sense that the story has somehow rekindled someone’s holiday spirit. While there will always be a place for that kind of hope in a fantasy world, “Bad Santa” offers something different, but valuable.

More than anything else, “Bad Santa” conveys a sense of perspective about the holidays. It’s not this wonderful, heartfelt occasion for everybody. There are a lot of miserable, self-loathing drunks like Willie Soke out there who don’t want or need hope. They’d rather have something that’ll make life suck a little less.

That’s the best Willie can strive for in “Bad Santa” and that’s exactly what he does. Being around Therman doesn’t make him a beacon of Christmas spirit. It just makes his miserable life slightly less miserable and he’s grateful for that. As a result, he makes an effort to help the kid have a good Christmas.

Sure, his efforts result in him getting roughed up and shot, but that’s perfectly appropriate for the tone of the story. In the real world, noble efforts like that aren’t always rewarded. Sometimes, they end up pretty messy, which Willie finds out the hard way on more than one occasion. It’s not the most uplifting message, but it’s the most honest.

Perspective today is more precious than it has ever been before. In the era of fake news and alternative facts, it’s hard to maintain a firm grasp on reality. Christmas movies tend to obscure reality for something more cheerful, but “Bad Santa” for something more real and that’s what makes it so effective as a story.

Reason #5: It Finds Humor In Bad Situations

To this point, if I’ve given the impression that “Bad Santa” is one depressing slog of a movie, I apologize. Yes, it can be depressing and bleak, but it’s also obscenely funny. There are dark moments in this movie that involve depression, alcoholism, and even attempted suicide. However, many of these moments are perfectly balanced with moments of raw hilarity.

Whether it’s Willie beating the snot out of a bunch of bullies or Marcus berating Gin with a masterful string of profanity, this movie invests heavily on humor. Granted, it’s a very adult form of humor, but it works perfectly within the context of the story. From the very beginning, Willie and his supporting cast are in all sorts of awful situations. Injecting humor into the mix helps balance it out.

It helps create a particular tone for a movie that goes out of its way to spit on so many holiday traditions. Things are ugly for these characters. They’re miserable excuses for human beings, but they often find themselves in funny situations that they make more hilarious with their reactions. No matter how bad it gets, they find a way to make their devolving situations entertaining.

In an era were awful situations unfold in real time because of social media, it’s important to find humor wherever you can. There’s only so much we can do to change a situation. Willie makes that clear from the very beginning of “Bad Santa.” Sometimes, all you can do is just laugh at the absurdities and that’s exactly what this movie does.

I won’t claim that “Bad Santa” is the new standard for Christmas movies. I doubt it’s going to start the kinds of trends we’ve seen in other genres. However, the story it told and the dark humor it utilized struck a chord when it first came out. As the years have gone by, it keeps finding new ways to resonate with an emerging audience.

There will always be a place for “Home Alone” and the Grinch. However, I think for the current generation and all the others who have watched this world embrace new levels of absurdities, “Bad Santa” deserves a special place in our holiday traditions.

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December 20, 2018 · 9:54 am

Daily Sexy Musing: Sexy Gift Giving

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This is the season of gift giving and gift exchanges. Unless you’re an inherently miserable person or the basis of Billy Bob Thorton’s best movie, it’s a wonderful time of year. I’ve always loved the holidays. As a kid, it was fun because it meant getting toys and eating candy. As an adult, it’s fun for those same reasons, but there’s also festive sex appeal that goes with it.

There have been a few points in my life where I’ve been in a relationship during the holidays. Without giving away too many intimate details, I can safely say that the spirit of gift giving did plenty to raise both my holiday spirit and that of my significant other. Sharing in gifts may seem shallow and exceedingly commercial, but it still conveys a powerful sentiment beyond the season.

It shows, among other things, just how much you care. It shows that you’re willing to put in the time and effort. All functional relationships require that kind of commitment. The holidays, when done right, can celebrate that commitment. It can even be a sexy celebration. Sometimes, being a little naughty makes everything feel extra nice in ways that only adults can appreciate.

With Christmas fast approaching, I dedicate this Daily Sexy Musing to the kinkier, more mature side of gift-giving. There will always be a place for child-like fun during this time of year, but adults can have fun too. If they can squeeze the sexy kind of fun into the mix, then that just makes the season all the more special. Enjoy!

The snow is falling.

The tree is lit.

The presents are neatly wrapped.

For children, it is the most exciting time of the year. They all sleep restlessly, eager to play with their new toys. For us, however, we share a more intimate gift. It doesn’t always involve toys, but it evokes the same excitement.

Under the light of the tree and the smell of fresh cocoa, I give to you a simple gift. It’s small, neatly wrapped, and fits easily in the palm of your hand. What it lacks in size, it makes up for in sentiment. It has to because there’s no package big enough to contain the passion I feel for you.

I watch you open it.

I see your eyes light up with the joy of a thousand children.

I know then that Santa Clause himself just got upstaged.

You throw your arms around me. I embrace you without hesitation. Your touch carries the intensity of a spirit enchanted by something beyond any holiday. It burns brighter than any star, echoing with cheer beyond any season. No one day or month can possibly contain the love we share, but that only makes the moments more festive.

In that unique spirit, we celebrate. An exchange of goods becomes an exchange of passions. We defy the long nights and winter cold, shedding thick layers of clothes in favor of the heat we create together. Every act conveys the extent of our spirit. In the light of the holidays, it offers unique paths with which to journey.

With one gift, I put my love into a tangible form.

With one gift, I tell you more than I can ever put into words.

With one gift, I inspire a year’s worth of passion.

With one gift, I celebrate the love we share.

It need not be large or smell. It just has to convey the feelings we cherish. By embracing that passion, every day we share our love feels like Christmas.

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December 19, 2018 · 5:09 am

Why Idris Elba’s Advice To Men On The Anti-Harassment Movement Is Flawed

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These are tenuous times for gender relations. Between the rise of the anti-harassment movement and the revelation of egregious crimes committed by once-respected celebrities, society is undergoing to significant upheaval in how we approach sex, relationships, and harassment.

Some claim this upheaval is overdue and I don’t disagree. There is a well-documented history of powerful people getting away with egregious behavior. In general, it’s a good thing when society seeks justice and accountability for everyone, regardless of gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, etc.

With that good, however, often comes obstacles that need to be navigated carefully and flawed human beings have a mixed history in those efforts to say the least. We’ve already seen some of that in how some have responded to the anti-harassment movement. Some are going so far as to avoid women entirely to minimize the risk. This is an extreme reaction, but one in keeping with the law of proportional backlash.

It has been frustrating for those who genuinely seek to improve gender relations. It has also made for easy sources of outrage with one side calling the other misogynist, patriarchal bigots and the other calling them regressive, whiny leftists. There’s a lot of room for arguments and plenty of opportunities for shouting, especially in the age of social media.

 

It’s still a relevant question for people caught up in the current state of gender politics, avoiding accusations of sexual misconduct and maintaining amicable relations among the genders. Crimes should be prosecuted and punished. Good people, whether they’re men, women, or something in between, should be free to engage with one another without fear of getting caught up in fervor.

Recently, the reigning sexiest man alive, Idris Elba, offered an easy solution to all those arguing about the current state of gender relations that many have rallied around. In an interview with Vanity Fair, he had this to say to those worried about navigating the anti-harassment movement.

“It’s only difficult if you’re a man with something to hide.”

It’s a simple, logical, almost mundane piece of advice. Many loudly cheered it as a welcome change of pace from the more complicated responses given by Matt Damon and Henry Cavill. When you’re the sexiest man alive and a top choice for the next James Bond, it’s easy to offer a simple solution that carries significant weight.

Now, I have a lot of respect for Mr. Elba. He’s a great actor and, by all accounts, one of Hollywood’s most likable personalities. In a perfect world, his words would not be controversial and require no further scrutiny. Sadly, we don’t live in that world.

I won’t go so far as to say that Mr. Elba is dead wrong. I won’t say he’s more than half-right, either. More than anything else, his comments are incomplete. They’re coming from a famous celebrity who also happens to be a tall, dark, handsome man whose success often leads to a considerable detachment from reality, as often happens in Hollywood.

If Mr. Elba had just said that men who have something to hide will probably face more difficulty than others, then he would be spot on. Whether you’re a famous celebrity or some ordinary person living their lives, having nothing to hide makes you far less likely to be on the wrong end of a sexual assault accusation.

In the era of smart phones, social media, and hacked emails, it’s considerably harder for anyone to hide their misconduct, sexual or otherwise. If anything, celebrities and powerful politicians are the only ones with the resources to hide their misdeeds and even that isn’t always enough. For non-celebrities, though, the resources are far more limited and this is where the merit of Mr. Elba’s words comes up short.

There are many ways to break down why simply having nothing to hide is not the most effective strategy for navigating the current landscape of gender politics. To best illustrate why it’s so shallow, though, we need only know the story of Brian Banks.

This guy’s story will upset/move you. You have been warned.

If you’re not familiar with that name, then chances are Mr. Elba isn’t either. His story is a tragedy with a bittersweet ending. Back in 2002, he was a promising a promising football player from Long Beach, California who had already committed to playing college football at USC.

Then, a classmate of his accused him of raping her in a stairway. Rather than face the possibility of 41 years to life in prison, Banks accepted a plea deal that included five years in prison, five years of probation, and having to register as a sex offender. By every measure, his life and his once-promising future was over. On top of it all, Banks was completely innocent.

That’s not just what a court eventually ruled. The accuser actually confessed that she made it up, adding that it was part of an effort with her mother to sue the school for money. It’s every bit as deplorable as it sounds. By the time this came out, though, it was 2012. He still served five years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit and lost out on his once promising football career.

Brian Banks followed Mr. Elba’s advice to the letter. He had nothing to hide. That still wasn’t enough, though. His life was still derailed and had the accuser not confessed, he probably wouldn’t have been able to rebuild his life to the extent that he has.

It’s easy for someone like Mr. Elba to give that advice and just as easy for him to practice it. As I noted before, he’s rich, successful, handsome, and respected. If someone tried to falsely accuse him of sexual misconduct, he wouldn’t have a hard time fighting it. Beyond his reputation as the sexiest man alive, he has access to the best legal defense that obscene wealth can buy.

People like Brain Banks don’t have that luxury. Exceedingly few individuals do. Banks plead guilty to a crime he didn’t commit because, without those resources, there was a real possibility that he would’ve gotten a much worse sentence. He’s actually fortunate that he managed to escape the fate he did. Others, however, weren’t so lucky.

Brian Banks’ story, alone, is tangible proof that Mr. Elba’s advice is incomplete. Sadly, there are other stories like this and some of them have far less pleasant outcomes. According to the Innocence Project, there are an estimated 20,000 innocent people serving prison sentences for crimes they did not commit. They too had nothing to hide, but were convicted anyways.

There’s men like Randolph Arledge, who served 29 years for a rape and murder that he did not commit. The evidence that convicted him was based entirely on informant testimony.

There’s also the story of Marvin Anderson, who had no criminal record when he was convicted of a brutal rape for which he served 20 years in prison.

There’s also the case of Ted Bradford, who spent 10 years in prison for a rape he did not commit. There wasn’t even any physical evidence tying him to the crime.

There’s the case of David Johns Bryson, who served 20 years for heinous crime involving kidnapping and rape. A combination of bad forensic science and misguided police tactics did him in.

These men are not celebrities. They’re not rich movie producers or well-connected politicians. They’re just ordinary men trying to live their lives. They had no more to hide than anyone else. That still wasn’t enough. In some cases, they were the victims of mistaken identity. In others, they were the targets of a vindictive accuser. In every case, their lives were irreparably damaged.

I still don’t doubt Mr. Elba’s sincerity. Even those who applaud his words probably don’t realize the flaws in his advice. Names like Brian Banks probably don’t ever cross their mind. Even if it did, Mr. Elba’s words present a clean, concise response to those who express concern about the larger impacts of the anti-harassment movement. For those looking for an easy recourse to a difficult problem, it has a lot of appeal.

That’s the biggest problem with simple solutions to complex problems. The narrative of the anti-harassment movement, or any social movement, cannot accommodate that much complexity. If it did, the narrative wouldn’t be as compelling. As I’ve noted before, the idea that there’s this brave movement of empowered women standing up to serial abusers has all the makings of a feel-good Hollywood story.

The reality, though, is far less ideal. Men like Brian Banks found that out the hard way. If the work of the Innocence Project is any indication, there are probably plenty more who never had anything to hide, but still got convicted. For them, Mr. Elba’s advice will only compound one kind of injustice with another.

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December 18, 2018 · 6:01 am

Daily Sexy Musing: Ode To (Sexy And Non-Sexy) First Times

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When it comes to a meaningful romance, the first time often sets the tone. By that, I’m not just referring to the first time two people get naked in an intimate setting. As a fan of romance beyond the sexy themes, I believe it encompasses more than that.

There’s that first real date you go on. There’s that first kiss you share. There’s that first time when you make your lover laugh. I certainly remember my first kiss. Even though that relationship did not pan out in the long run, I’ll always treasure that memory. It was exciting and powerful in so many ways. Whether a relationship succeeds or fails, those moments stand out.

The following Daily Sexy Musing is a deeper contemplation on the idea of first times and the feelings that come with them. As novelty-seeking creatures, those feelings resonate on a profound level. They can be a critical point in an epic romance or just the catalyst for a sexy short story. Either way, the romantic and sexual potential is undeniable and worth cherishing. Enjoy!

Not long ago, you and I were total strangers. We woke up every morning, oblivious to one another’s existence. We neither hindered nor aided our respective lives. We were perfectly functional beings without each other. Then, in one fateful moment, it changes.

Now, I cannot imagine my life without you.

Now, I cannot stomach the idea of never seeing you again.

Now, I cannot stop myself from wanting you and the passions you inspire.

It happened so quickly. First, we met. It was not planned or expected. By fate or circumstance, we just happened to meet. That initial impression stuck with us. I intrigued you and you intrigued me. There was a draw between us, a gravity from which we couldn’t escape. Rather than resist, we followed this unspoken force.

Then, we had our first date. On that night, you became something more than a curiosity. You revealed yourself as the missing part of soul unaware of how broken it was. You filled a void that had always been present, but never acknowledged. You are no longer just another presence. You are so much more to me.

Then, we had our first kiss and everything changed again. In one act, I realize how much I want to be with you. From that simple gesture, I come to know how much I need you in my life. The line between want and need blurs. In you, I find fulfillment and completion.

One gesture inspires countless others.

One touch evokes an endless desire for more.

One act empowers the heart and spirit to greater heights.

Finally, we make love for the first time. Like tasting water for the first time, it transcends reason. Our hearts soar and not just from heated exertion. The excitement of new a new intimacy blends with the desire to forge a lasting bond. Together, we share this feeling. In doing so, we find out how much we like it.

That initial thrill leaves a lasting impression. Our minds and souls are now marked with the echoes of this profound experience. I feel in you an uncharted path. I see in you a long journey I wish to undertake.

Together, we take that first step.

Together, we remember that step.

For the rest of our lives, we recall our first time.

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The following is a review I wrote for PopMatters for X-Men Red #11.

Jean Grey Exercises the Power of Emotional Intelligence in ‘X-men Red #11’

 

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December 17, 2018 · 8:47 pm
December 17, 2018 · 6:03 am

How “Into The Spider-Verse” Embodies The Best Aspects Of Superhero Movies (And Sets Up A Promising Future)

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In the modern era of superhero movies, Spider-Man is one of the bedrock franchises that has guided the genre through its journey from niche market to global box office dominance. Alongside the first “X-men” movie, Sam Raimi’s original “Spider-Man” is credited with ushering in this golden age of superhero cinema.

It has been a bumpy road at times. We had high points with “Spider-Man 2” and not-so-high points with “Amazing Spider-Man 2.” Regardless of how these movies fared, the story of Peter Parker shouldering the power and responsibilities of Spider-Man has become ingrained in pop culture. We still could’ve done without that awful dance scene, though.

Given all the weight Spider-Man has for the genre, a movie like “Into The Spider-Verse” has a lot going for it and just as much working against it. The story of Peter Parker has been done, redone, and overdone so much that it feels like there’s no room left for nuance. Well, “Into The Spider-Verse” definitively proves there’s still untapped potential and it runs even deeper than anyone thought.

I don’t want to spoil much about this movie, but I will spoil this. “Into The Spider-Verse” is every bit as awesome as critics and audiences alike have said. It’s a truly groundbreaking achievement for superhero movies, animation, and the Spider-Man franchise. The fact that it managed to do this without being part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe makes that accomplishment all the more remarkable.

This movie succeeds on so many levels. It takes a concept drawn directly from the comics and expands on it, creating a whole new world in which all things Spider-Man do not revolve entirely around Peter Parker. That’s not a typo, by the way. This is a Spider-Man movie in which Peter Parker is not the main driving force of the story.

It’s this kid.

He’s still there. He still plays a major part in the story. However, this movie is a story about Miles Morales. Those who follow the comics will recognize that name. He’s not just some unknown character who gets thrust into a central role in the vein of the “Ghostbuster” reboot. Miles has a fairly comprehensive history going back to 2011 and this movie captures the heart of that history perfectly.

Miles is not like Peter in many ways. Beyond the fact that he’s half-black, half-Latino, and the nephew of a dangerous super-villain, his powers are slightly different. His personality is different, as well. He’s not the same nerdy dork that Peter Parker was, but he is very much an outsider who struggles to fit in.

Miles has more confidence, but not in the arrogant hipster Andrew Garfield sort of way. He’s someone who isn’t sure of who he wants to be or where he wants his life to go. On one hand, he’s got his parents who want him to aspire to something greater than a life in Brooklyn. On the other, he has influences like his Uncle Aaron pulling him down a darker path.

Him getting bit by a radioactive spider only compounds these conflicting forces. Part of what makes Miles work when other would-be Spider-Man replacements failed is that his struggle feels genuine. He never comes off as a rip-off or a substitute. What makes Miles a Spider-Man worth rooting for is how Peter Parker inspires him to take on that responsibility.

The comics went about that in one particular way that worked brilliantly. “Into The Spider-Verse” utilizes a different, but similar approach that’s every bit as compelling. Peter Parker has a major influence, but the movie throws in many other influences that send Miles down the path to becoming Spider-Man.

Some of those influences come in the form of other famous alternate-version Spider-Man characters, including the likes of Spider-Gwen and Spider-Ham. “Into The Spider-Verse” manages to give them their own stories that show how they fit into the greater Spider-Man mythos, but for Miles, they embody the responsibility before him.

Like Peter, and so many other Spider-Man characters, he’s initially reluctant to bear that burden. Over the course of the movie, he endures plenty of agonizing decisions and crippling self-doubt. He struggles in ways that we’re not used to seeing Spider-Man struggle, but that’s exactly why “Into The Spider-Verse” works so well in the current landscape of superhero movies.

Going back to the first “Iron Man” movie, we’ve come to expect struggles and setbacks from our heroes. Miles has a lot more than most and not just because of his youth or inexperience. He has huge shoes to fill and the history of characters filling the shoes of iconic heroes is mixed at best.

By the end of the movie, though, Miles effectively proves that he’s worthy of being Spider-Man. He deserves a spot in the greater Spider-Man mythos. It doesn’t have to revolve entirely around Peter Parker. For some Spider-Man fans, that may seem outrageous. “Into The Spider-Verse” shows that there’s plenty of room for characters like Miles.

How it goes about this has greater implications for the future of superhero movies than it does for the present. I would even go so far as to say that “Into The Spider-Verse” might end up being a major turning point for the superhero genre because of how it tells Miles’ story alongside that of Peter Parker.

Aside from just raising Miles’ profile, “Into The Spider-Verse” does something that is overdue for Peter Parker’s story. Specifically, it ages him. The Peter Parker in this story is not some wide-eyed kid with Tom Holland’s baby face. He’s an older, more jaded version of Peter who has made mistakes and lost confidence in himself, as often happens to those who survive to middle age.

The look of a man who has fought one too many muggers.

It’s part of the paradox of heroism that I’ve mentioned before in that many popular superheroes aren’t allowed to age beyond a certain point. In fact, that was cited as the primary reason for breaking up Spider-Man’s marriage to Mary Jane Watson in the comics. Aging a hero beyond the mold Frank Miller’s version of Batman just seems like a dead end.

“Into The Spider-Verse” makes the case that this doesn’t have to be the case. Peter Parker can grow up and even endure a mid-life crisis. For a character who has been around since the early 1960s, it almost feels overdue. His struggle doesn’t have to be the end of his story. If anything, it helps further Miles’ ascension to becoming the new Spider-Man.

It’s a theme that has played out in the comics more recently. Older heroes are inspiring a new crop of younger heroes. Miles Morales was among the first. Others like Kamala Khan and Riri Williams have followed. It feels like a natural progression of the superhero archetype, inspiring others to take up the responsibility and aspire to something greater.

Miles Morales isn’t a replacement for Peter Parker. He’s a supplement to the greater Spider-Man mythos and “Into The Spider-Verse” establishes how well this can work. His story is every bit as endearing as Peter’s, but without supplanting him. As such, it provides a new template for superhero movies in the future.

Not every story has to rely on rehashing and revamping iconic characters from the Stan Lee/Jack Kirby/Steve Ditko era. It’s possible for new characters to emerge without replacing older ones. The world of superheroes can grow and evolve with subsequent generations. It’ll have to and not just because of actors’ contracts expiring.

If I had to score “Into The Spider-Verse,” I would give it an 8 out of 10. It’s a great movie, but it does have some shortcomings. They’re very minor. The pacing of the movie is erratic at times and the designs for certain characters, namely Kingpin and Scorpion, have room for improvement. It never feels chaotic or disconnected, though. The movie has a unique artistic style that fits perfectly with the story.

Every now and then, someone will claim that superhero movies will one day go the way of the western. That may still happen at some point, but “Into The Spider-Verse” shows that there are whole new paths to explore and they have to exist in the MCU. This movie is an incredible achievement beyond just being a great superhero movie and one I hope inspires others for years to come.

Also, the tribute to Stan Lee at the end will bring a tear to your eyes. Be certain of that.

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December 16, 2018 · 8:52 am

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Peppermint Candy Edition

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We’re in the heart of the holiday season now. This is the time when people generally stop whining about seeing Christmas displays in shopping malls and just start enjoying the ambiance. Every year, it seems to get a little longer for that whining to die down, but when it does, the spirit of the season really sets in.

Part of that spirit involves the various candy and treats that coincide with the holidays. Coming from a family of talented chefs, I’ve always had a soft spot certain treats. In the same way pumpkin spice lets me know that fall has arrived, the abundance of peppermint flavored candy and treats help affirm that the holidays are truly here.

Now, I don’t consider myself that big a peppermint fan. I still enjoy it and will occasionally indulge in some peppermint candy, but I won’t say it’s my favorite. It’s one of those truly seasonal tastes that just doesn’t fit with other times of year. I still appreciate it for what it is and the season it represents.

With the spirit of the season in full swing and plenty of festive treats to choose from, I gladly single out peppermint for this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. That extra fresh taste in your mouth goes a long way towards becoming more kissable and more eager to kiss, in general. For an erotica/romance fan, you can’t get much more festive than that. Enjoy!

“When you think about it, there isn’t that much difference between making your lover climax and hacking a computer.”

“Sometimes, you fall in love with a person, but other times, you fall in love with their financial situation.”

“Kids with active imaginations are more likely to become adults with elaborate kinks.”

“The lipstick industry probably owes a good chunk of its sales to oral sex.”

“Depression is one of the few feelings that can be both the cause of and reason for a lack of sex.”

“Fantasizing about your lover is like giving them a cameo in your wet dreams.”

“To some extent, puberty is your sex appeal under construction.”

I hope that puts everyone in the mood to take advantage of the glut of holiday candy we’ll be seeing for the next couple weeks, among other things. Even if you’re not a fan of peppermint, it’s still an excuse to eat more candy and in my experience, nobody can get into a sexy mood on an empty stomach. Uniquely flavored candy just makes that mood more festive.

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December 15, 2018 · 8:54 am

“Naughty Nora” A Sexy Short Holiday Story

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The following is a sexy short story I wrote to help get everyone in the holiday spirit, among other things. Enjoy!

Most kids stopped believing in Santa Claus at some point. Some never believed in him to begin with. They still celebrate the spirit of Christmas, but there was nothing fanciful or supernatural about it. As adults, they see it as just another holiday, albeit one that involves elaborate decorations and gift giving.

While that shift was understandable to some extent, it came at the cost of something critical to Christmas. A key part of believing in Santa was the idea of him keeping a list, tracking who’d been naughty or nice over the course of the past year. Good kids got presents. Bad kids got a lump of coal. It was a simple, concise morality lesson that often got lost once belief in Santa ends.

Nora Rael-Nagle was among the few who’d clung to it, but for reasons that had nothing to do with childhood nostalgia.

“He’s making a list…checking it twice…gonna find out who’s naughty or nice,” Nora sang playfully. “With girls like me, you don’t need to check twice.”

As she descended the stairs of the opulent home she shared with her very wealthy husband, she hummed various holiday music to herself. It was almost midnight on Christmas Eve, a time when children were most restless. Nora was restless too, but for very different reasons.

“I still believe,” she said to herself. “I know I shouldn’t. I’m an adult woman with big tits, a round ass, and sexy legs I just can’t keep closed. I just can’t help it. I believe in you, Santa.”

Her tone was a perfect blend of childlike excitement and naughty seduction. Her demeanor had an eagerness that she reserved for just one night of the year. She even chose to be festive with her attire, wearing only a revealing red nighty and matching silk panties. She knew the big guy was watching. She wanted him to watch.

Feeling his eyes on her, Nora casually strode through the spacious halls of the opulent estate. An army of maids and butler had decorated the house with plenty of holiday attire, including a 9-foot Christmas tree in the main living room on the first floor. She’d coaxed her husband – a man nearly twice her age, but still very receptive to a beautiful woman’s allure – to go all out every year during the holidays. Being the dutiful husband he was, he obliged her. However, her reason for wanting decorations were more personal.

Upon arriving in the living room, she saw that the tree was already lit with an array of Christmas lights. That, in and of itself, was telling because she remembered turning them off before going to bed with her husband. The blinds on the windows were also closed, as if to shroud the room in a protective cloak.

That didn’t bother Nora in the slightest. After all, the true magic of Christmas often went unseen. It was still there. It just required a special kind of belief to experience it.

“You probably already know, but I’ve been naughty again, this year…very naughty,” Nora said to the empty room. “I’m still sleeping with the neighbor’s son…the one who’s engaged. I also slept with my sister’s fiancé at his bachelor party. On top of that, he didn’t even know it was me because I was wearing a wig.”

The room remained silent, the only sound coming from the cold winds outside. Nora remained undeterred, though. Now standing in front of the well-lit Christmas tree, she recounted more of her naughty deeds.

“Not everything involved me getting naked,” she went on. “This past spring, I ran over my neighbor’s dog and convinced him to blame the gardener. He got fired on the spot. I stole an $800 handbag from a store because I forgot my credit card. I lied to my parents when I said I couldn’t come home for my Aunt Marilyn’s funeral. I told them I was sick, but I was just hung over and had planned a trip to Cabo that week.”

One-by-one, she recounted a full year of misdeeds. She had a long list of confessions, full of lies, debauchery, and selfishness. She regretted plenty, but only to a point. It was hard to feel too much remorse when much of her life had been one free pass after another.

Nora didn’t deny that she’d been born ahead of the curve. In addition to having great legs, big breasts, and a healthy libido, she came from a wealthy family that pampered her to no end. They imposed few rules and fewer punishments. She gotten away with things few others could, rarely facing major consequences for her actions. The only thing her family ever wanted for her was to marry into a better family, which she did the first chance she got.

Her husband was even less restrictive, though. Nora suspected he knew about her decadent streak. That might have even been why he’d married her in the first place. He just didn’t care. Nobody cared that she was so naughty. In her world, Santa Claus was the only one who gave a damn whether someone was naughty or nice.

For reasons too kinky to make sense of, even for her, that had an effect. As a girl, it gave her a unique appreciation for Christmas. It also connected her with the spirit of the season in a unique way.

“But I don’t need to tell you all the naughty things I’ve done,” Nora said. “You already know what I’ve done. You know I don’t deserve any presents and a lump of coal just isn’t going to cut it. For someone as naughty as me, you’ll need a special kind of holiday magic.”

Again, there was only silence in response. Then, she sensed it.

The air in the room suddenly got hotter.

The lights on the Christmas tree flickered.

A strange noise echoed from the empty fireplace, which wasn’t even connected to a chimney. Nora shuddered with a new kind of excitement, one that was mostly concentrated between her legs. She swore she could hear the echo of sleigh bells outside. That convinced her that the man she’d been waiting all year for had arrived.

“Ho, ho, ho…my naughty ho!” said a booming voice.

The lights on the tree flickered again. The air around her go so hot, especially between her legs. A year’s worth of naughtiness has invited the one figure who dared to punish her for her deeds.

“Santa?” she said, still fixated on the tree.

“Turn around, Nora,” said the voice.

Nora hated being told what to do, but she gladly made an exception.

As soon as she turned, she saw an ominous white mist emerge from the fireplace. Like a cloud with a mind of its own, it quickly grew. The line between the real world and the world of magic blurred, as often happened around the holidays. Rather than fear, Nora grew excited and not just from the sight of something that defied the laws of physics.

From the misty cloud, a familiar figure took shape. The magic of the season took form and substance…a magic most didn’t believe even existed, but Nora still did. As such, the figure that appeared within the mist was every bit as real as her naughty deeds.

He appeared first as a shadow, but took human form as the mist faded. The man that appeared before her was as recognizable to her as he was to any child. He had the big red coat, the long white beard, and the iconic red hat. Most importantly, in her particular case, he bought his big red sack…a sack she knew was not full of toys.

“Every year, Nora,” he said in his jovial tone. “Every year you find your way to the top of my naughty list. You don’t even try anymore. It’s as though you enjoy being naughty.”

“What can I say, Santa?” Nora said with an innocent shrug. “I’m just an inherently naughty girl.”

“A naughty girl who insists on believing long after any child. Most don’t dare tempt the spirit of the season…especially those who knows what Santa does to those who are extra naughty.”

“The fact that I know only makes being naughty that much more tempting.”

“Then, I need not explain why you deserve what Santa is about to do to you.”

A very jolly grin formed on his face. He then dropped the big red sack in front of him. More magic followed and all Nora could do was brace herself while still trying to contain her excitement.

Like the misty cloud before it, the sack took on a life of its own, opening as though invisible hands were at work. From within the velvet-red sack, a large red bow – the kind typically placed atop large presents – floated up into the air. Then, as Santa’s jolly grin grew wider, the bow magically untied itself and shot out towards her like tendrils from an octopus.

Nora barely had a chance to react. First, one part of the bow wrapped itself around her wrists, bounding them tightly and pulling her arms up over her head. After that, the other end of the bow removed her nighty and pulled down her panties, rendering her completely naked before the big jolly icon of Christmas.

“Ho, ho!” Santa laughed. “I can see why you’re so tempted, Nora. With a bosom and buttocks like yours, naughtiness tends to find you.”

“You have no idea, Santa,” Nora said.

“Ah, but I do! Remember, I check my list twice.”

As if to affirm how well he knew her, he waved his hand and the bow stream reacted. Her hands and wrists still bound, the stream swirled around her body before wrapping itself around her arms and legs, tightening its hold on her. Eventually, her hands ended up being her back, but her breasts and inner thighs remained exposed.

It happened so quickly, utilizing forces that only came around once a year. It still took Nora aback, but in a way that excited and aroused her. For every other day of the year, she was the one who tied up others and bent them to her will. Her beauty, her family ties, and her wealth gave her so much leverage over others. Everybody was just too afraid to subdue her so completely and dominate her.

None of that applied to Santa Claus, though. Armed with the magic of Christmas and a complete knowledge of her naughty deeds, he was the only man who could make her submit. Like the holiday season itself, the fact that it was so rare made it so special.

“Naughty girls often learn their lesson once I give them their lumps of coal,” Santa said. “For those who grow up to become naughty women, I must use other means to dissuade their misdeeds.”

“Do they work?” Nora teased seductively.

“For the few who still believe in the magic of Christmas, it gets the point across. For cases such as you, Nora…well, sometimes naughtiness can only be tempered with a special kind of spirit.”

With another hand gesture, the large red bow that remained wrapped around her naked body came to life again, applying force like a dozen hands pushing on her. It quickly forced her down onto her knees, a position she’d been in many times over the course of the past year. However, she’d never been in that position on someone else’s terms.

Still secure in his festive hold on her, Santa approached her, his portly form casting a large shadow. Upon reaching her, he undid his large black belt buckle and dropped his red pants to the floor, revealing a huge, jolly endowment that was perfectly proportional to his jovial size.

“Fuck! That spirit does wonders for your dick,” Nora said. “It’s even bigger than it was last year!”

“Such naughty language from such a naughty girl,” said Santa. “I say we wash that mouth of yours out with some Christmas joy!”

Whether by magic or the presence of a naked woman bound by holiday streamers, the jolly old man’s member began stiffening almost instantly. As it grew before her eyes, he grasped her chin with one hand and guided his dick to her mouth. Being the naughty girl she was, Nora eagerly opened her mouth and awaited Santa’s joy.

He delivered, as only Santa Clause could, thrusting his festive endowment into her mouth. It tested both her reflexes and her jaw muscles, more so than the many other men she’d blown over the years. Nora embraced the strain, though. Being such a naughty girl, she deserved it. Once she had his jolly cock in her mouth, she began sucking it with some holiday spirit of her own.

“Ho, ho, ho!” said Santa. “It’s a miracle! A naughty girl’s deeds becomes so nice!”

The spirit of the season was fully stoked, so to speak. With one hand still gripping her head, he guided the pace of her oral sex. Back and forth, her head rocked as her lips slithered along the length of Santa’s manhood. With each movement, his member swelled, becoming larger and more erect. It further strained her jaw muscles, but Nora kept sucking like the good naughty girl she was.

Being bound left her so vulnerable, having to cater to the whims of the jolly fat man in front of her. Something about that feeling – confronting her lurid behavior, accepting punishment from one who could subdue her so easily – just seemed so fitting. Having rarely experienced it during other times of the year, it made Christmas that much more exciting. Along with that excitement came arousal. The longer she sucked Santa’s cock, the wetter her pussy became.

As her arousal escalated, Santa’s became exceedingly jolly. His grip on her head intensified. She could tell by the way his massive member twitched inside her mouth that he was close. Being so naughty, he didn’t even warn her when he released his festive load into her throat. A load of thick manly fluid – which, fittingly enough, had a peppermint-flavored aftertaste – shot right into her gullet.

“That’s the spirit, Nora! Taste Santa’s joy!” Santa said with extra jolliness.

Nora did what the big man asked, licking up every drop. When he pulled out, finally allowing her to catch her breath, she gasped sharply. Traces of seminal fluid still dropped down her chin, but she remained very spirited. Looking up at Santa, his erect dick still hovering around her face, she flashed another naughty smile.

“Mmm…my favorite Christmas treat,” Nora said in a festive daze. “Am I back on the nice list, yet?”

“Ho, ho! Far from it, Nora,” Santa laughed. “For once such as you, I must impart some extra Christmas spirit.”

With another wave of his hand, the bow streams still wrapped around her body went to work again, putting her in another position with which to receive Santa’s special gift to naughty girls. She was moved around like a rag doll, the bow stream pushing her legs apart in the process. She eventually ended up on her hands and knees, her heart-shaped butt pointed up at the jolly old like a perfectly-wrapped present.

“I see the spirit has already affected parts of your body, Nora,” Santa said, “but for one such as you, I must employ the full magic of the North Pole.”

“Yes! Please, Santa…fill me with that pole,” Nora gasped.

He laughed jovially again, her naughty tone encouraging him even more. The bow streams pushed her legs apart even more as Santa’s gloved hand grabbed hold of her hips. Then, as she remained bound on all force, he guided his still-erect member towards her wet entrance and thrust it into her feminine depths.

A chorus of naughty and nice moans echoed throughout the room. Nora, her arms still tied behind her back, could only bury half her face into the soft rug, feeling her world rock under the light of the Christmas tree. Santa’s hard, jovial flesh slithered within her folds, sending surges of intoxicating sensations throughout her body.

“Oohhh, Santa!” Nora exclaimed. “That’s it! I’m naughty! So fucking naughty!”

“Ho, ho, ho! Yes, Nora! Yes, you are!” Santa said as he rocked her body with every movement.

He dominated her body and spirit so thoroughly. It was as though the weight of her naughtiness helped weigh her down, unable to use the influence of her husband’s wealth or the beauty she so effectively wielded. She was a naughty woman and Santa did not overlook that naughtiness, nor did she want him to.

Being dominated and bound, at the mercy of a jolly old man and his magic, was a special feeling. Between the size of his endowment and the holiday spirit that supplemented every movement, the pleasure felt uniquely festive.

“Santa! I feel…the spirit…coming!” Nora cried out with increasing fervor.

“Of course you do, Nora! Of course you do!” Santa laughed.

The red streams that had bound her body tightened, as if to keep her hold her in place for her coming release. It hit her like a Christmas miracle, a powerful orgasm that rendered her paralyzed with pleasure. It was like the spirit of the season possessing her, turning all that naughty behavior against her for one powerful moment.

“Oohhh Santa!” she exclaimed with a cry that echoed all the way to the North Pole.

Her body shuddered, her back arching and her toes curling under the onslaught of ecstasy. It rendered her even more enchanted by Santa’s magic. At that point, she might as well have been drunk on the sweetest fruits of the holiday.

“More cheer, Nora! A naught girl needs more cheer!” he said to her.

Even as her body trembled from orgasmic bliss, Santa continued ravaging her with his spirit-laden Christmas. He kept rocking her body, working his big old candy cane within her depths. The bliss that followed just sent her deeper into a holiday daze. Nora wasn’t sure how many times she came after that. She just knew that she remained at the mercy of Santa’s holiday prowess.

The streams around her body kept her in place, shifting her occasionally so Santa could ravage her from as many angles as he desired. He was as thorough as he was with his list, hitting every sensitive spot within her once and then hitting it twice for good measure. For such a big man, he had such miraculous stamina. It helped him build towards the ultimate Christmas miracle.

“Santa is ready, Nora!” he said with a beaming grin. “Prepare to be filled with true spirit!”

“Yes, Santa!” Nora exclaimed. “Fill me up! Fill me…with your…spirit!”

The big man used his size and weigh to his full advantage, delivering the last few round of gifted thrusts before crossing the final threshold. Upon reaching is North Pole, so to speak, he let out one more round of joyous laughter as he filled her with his holiday cum. Like the season itself, it had a unique flavor that filled her with a special kind of warmth.

Just as before, he made sure to inject every last drop. A girl as naughty as her needed all the spirit he could offer. Once the miracle was complete, the jolly old man withdrew his festive member from her and pulled up his pants.

“Your punishment is complete, naughty Nora. Do you feel true meaning of Christmas within you now?”

“Yeah…among other things,” she replied playfully.

“Then, my delivery is complete!”

With a jovial grin, he waved his hand again and the red bow that had kept her restrained magically untied itself, unbounding her wrists and legs from its grasps. Then, the bow magically re-tied itself before turning to Santa’s big red sack. Still grinning, he hitched the sack over his shoulder and gave the still-naked Nora one last glance.

Nora, still lying on the floor, drunk on Santa’s holiday magic, just looked up and smiled back. He knew how naughty she was. She knew how naughty she had to make his list every year. For someone like her, a beautiful rich woman who rarely gets punished for her behavior, she needed someone to punish her naughty behavior. She needed someone to subdue her without fear or hesitation. She needed someone to inspire her spirit in a unique way.

Who better to do all of that than Santa Claus? Giving gifts to good children did plenty to enhance the spirit of Christmas. Punishing naughty women like her just helped supplement the magic of the season.

“Merry Christmas, Nora. May you nice next year as you were naughty this year,” said Santa as the mist from earlier consumed him.

“You and I both know that’s not going to happen, Santa,” Nora said. “Being naughty just feels too nice.”

“Ho, ho, ho!” he laughed as he disappeared into the mist. “That, my dear, is part of the holiday spirit. Whether you’re naughty or nice, you still get the gift you deserve.”

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December 14, 2018 · 6:02 am

How Self-Driving Cars Will Change Sex Work (For The Better)

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When it comes to emerging technology, there’s one inescapable byproduct that I’m sure confounds plenty of inventors and innovators. If said technology can be used to enhance and/or accommodate sex, it will. It’s like taxes, gravity, or traffic during rush hour. It’s inescapable.

While I’m sure the inventor of the back massager knew on some levels that it was going to be used for lurid purposes, there are plenty of others who had no idea how horny people would use their creations. I suspect that those developing self-driving cars know that at some point, a horny couple will have sex in a self-driving car. It’s just a matter of relegating it to a secondary concern, at most.

Even if you don’t closely follow to ongoing trends of the auto industry, it’s hard to overlook the recent news surrounding self-driving cars. This is not some far-off technology like smart blood, artificial wombs, or warp drives. This is a rapidly-maturing technology that is happening. As we speak, big companies like Uber, Apple, and Tesla are testing this technology.

I can even personally attest to the potential of this technology. Earlier this summer, I got a chance to ride in a Tesla Model S with a self-driving feature. It was quite an experience and I can verify that the technology worked. The car drove itself on a busy highway in the middle of the day. The driver still kept his hands close to the wheel, but the results exceeded my expectations.

While riding in that car, I wondered for a brief moment how this would lead to more sex on the road. Being an aspiring erotica/romance writer, those kinds of thoughts come to me fairly often. With this, it was easy to envision.

The car drives itself.

The driver and the passenger get bored.

As they combat the boredom, they get horny.

Since the car is taking care of itself, they decide to have sex and make their road trip memorable.

I think it’s inevitable. I bet that on the same day self-driving cars enter the market, some adventurous couple will celebrate by having sex in one. It might be so expected that it won’t even make the news. People already have sex in cars, even while they’re moving. Self-driving cars will just make it easier.

This is where sex work enters the equation. It’s another, less common byproduct of technology. Whenever something comes along to change the sexual landscape, it often finds its way into sex work. It happened with the internet. It happened with smartphones. It’s going to happen with self-driving cars.

The impact won’t be direct. It might not even be immediate. However, self-driving cars are bound to affect everything from urban planning to job markets to personal finances. It’s not too great a stretch to believe that it’ll effect sex work.

I’m not the only one who has speculated on this issue. One academic from the University of Surrey and Oxford stated that self-driving cars could be the brothels of the future. Instead of hotel rooms, apartments, massage parlors, or street corners, a self-driving car could act as a mobile red light district, bringing sex workers to clients with greater ease than ever before.

Considering the recent legal upheavals to the world of sex work, self-driving cars may arrive in a chaotic market that is rapidly adapting to new circumstances. Today, it’s a lot harder for sex workers to operate online. It’s also increasingly difficult for them to organize and find support on any area of the political spectrum beyond standard libertarians.

Conservatives see prostitution as immoral and deviant, favoring prosecution and punishment of providers and clients alike.

Liberals see prostitution as exploitative and oppressive, favoring policies that prosecute pimps and treat sex workers as victims.

As a result, operating as a sex worker is very difficult. Even if you live in an area that doesn’t criminalize sex work, as done by the increasingly popular Nordic Model, the logistics of having a place to operate and getting to customers is still fraught with complications. It’s here where self-driving cars could be a potential game-changer.

The most obvious and immediate impact has to do with mobility. As it stands, sex workers have to either operate on the streets or advertise online. Both have only become more dangerous in recent years. A self-driving car is akin to a Taxi that doesn’t ask questions or judge a sex worker on what they may or may not be wearing.

With self-driving cars, sex workers have a cheaper, more anonymous method for getting to clients and expanding their reach. They don’t have to stand on dirty street corners or stay in seedy hotels with questionable laundry service. They can get to where they need to go and not have to rely on a pimp or partner, which is critical in terms of limiting exploitation.

That’s one of the key factors in what makes sex work so dangerous in places where it’s illegal. Sex workers can’t rely on the police or standard legal services for protection. Pimps, including the violent kind, provide that service in a black market environment where workers have to surrender their autonomy in exchange for safety. Self-driving cars could make those services less necessary.

That means sex workers will be able to operate more independently. In terms of limiting the potential for abuse, that’s critical. While the operations of sex work are difficult to study, most research has shown that independent sex workers are better able to avoid the abuse and exploitation that often follows the illegal sex trade. Self-driving cars could make that easier for more sex workers.

Beyond the logistics, self-driving cars could actually become a life-saving tool for sex workers. One of the greatest dangers they face is escaping a violent client. In the past, a sex worker had to rely on a pimp or a fellow worker to get out of those situations. Even calling a cab was risky because, for all they knew, the driver could refuse to help them or report them to the police.

A self-driving car is less prone to ask questions. In addition to being cheaper, it could get them farther away from a bad situation and allow them to operate far from their where they reside. They don’t need to be confined to certain areas or districts. They can move around more freely and expand their reach while keeping more of the money they make.

That’s just the initial impact, though. There are plenty more potential benefits that self-driving cars could bring to the world of sex work. That concern about mobile brothels is probably not an exaggeration. The current laws prohibiting brothels in many jurisdictions assume that domain of sex workers isn’t moving. That wouldn’t apply to a self-driving vehicle.

Even in places where prostitution is legal, establishing a brothel is riddled with all sorts of red tape and regulations. A self-driving car that operates as a brothel isn’t constrained by zoning laws or specified districts. It literally goes to wherever the demand is. Considering how expensive apartments and hotel rooms are in some areas, a self-driving car/brothel may actually be the most cost-effective way for a sex worker to operate.

Given these potential benefits, it’s very likely that plenty of areas would seek to prohibit or regulate this kind of prostitution. However, I suspect that enforcing those laws would be even more difficult than the existing statutes. If a self-driving car operating as a brothel is always moving and the sex workers are discrete, then how would the public or the authorities even know?

There’s also the possibility that self-driving cars could make some aspects of the sex industry even worse. A self-driving car could make activities like human trafficking easier by giving traffickers a cheap new way to move people around. It could also set up some tricky legal battles, especially if sex workers regularly move between areas where prostitution is legal and illegal.

One way or another, self-driving cars are going to affect the world of prostitution in ways that neither an academic from the University of Surrey and Oxford nor an aspiring erotica/romance writer can contemplate. Given how prevalent prostitution has been in every society, no matter hard religion and government tries to suppress it, enterprising sex workers will find a way make the most of it.

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December 13, 2018 · 6:43 am

Daily Sexy Musing: Ode To Sexy Art

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Art is one of those eclectic concepts that means so many things. For one person, it’s the ugly finger-paintings kids do in pre-school. For another, it’s a sculpture of Elvis made out of Ramen noodles. When it comes to sexy art, however, the ideas are a bit more concise. Like any other kink, it’s one of those things you know when you feel.

I may not be able to draw worth a damn, but I know plenty about using artistic skills to capture elements of sex appeal. I do it in my novels and in my sexy short stories. I’ve always had a way with words, using them to convey all sorts of colorful ideas, especially the sexy kind. That skill is even responsible for some of the serious romantic relationships I’ve had in my life.

While I utilize the written word, others tap different skills. Some are much better at it than others. You don’t have to look far to find art with overtly sexual imagery or undertones. Sometimes, it’s barely distinguishable from porn. Other times, though, it can be sexy in a wholly unique way. That’s the kind of art that leaves a hell of an impression.

The following Daily Sexy Musing is a celebration of the sexy side of art and the wondrous effects it has on all of us. It’s not always enough to just see someone else naked and let that be the sole manifestation of sensual imagery. There’s plenty of room for creativity of all kinds. I intend to do my part and I trust plenty of other skilled artists out there to do the same. Enjoy!

The world outside our window is so static and cold, changing only with the time of day and the direction of the winds. It is untouched by imagination, governed by strict rules that can neither be bent nor broken. Lacking color and passion, there’s room for so much more. It’s up to us to forge it.

I am your artist.

You are my canvas.

Our passion is the inspiration.

From it, imagination both loving and lurid roams free.

We coordinate in a process, one that requires tools and mediums to make our vision real. We assemble them in once place. On their own, they are nothing more than means to an end. As artists, we can control both.

Our minds explore boundless possibilities. From that treasure trove of thought, one goal emerges. We must turn our love from a powerful feeling into something tangible. Whether it’s a picture, a sculpture, or a sequence of words, the immaterial essence that is our love must become real. That, we believe, is art worth treasuring.

Maybe it’s a portrait, one that depicts our bodies entwined.

Maybe it’s a poem, one that describes our love through a tapestry of words.

Maybe it’s a symbol, one that we make our own and share with a passionless world.

There are so many choices, but only a few are fit for creation. Just thinking about it feels like an arduous journey in which the end is our own to forge. It’s overwhelming, but exciting. We don’t know where to begin or where it will end. That doesn’t matter, though. All that matters is the passion put into it.

From the whims of emotion and imagination, we decide on our path. In our minds, the perfect manifestation of our love appears as clear as the morning sun. Every detail becomes clear. Thought becomes vision. All that remains is to make it real through an artist’s hands.

Together, we craft something that will transcend our bodies and minds.

Together, we create a masterpiece that perfectly captures our love.

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