Tag Archives: Christmas

Happy New Year 2019!

To everyone out there, their families, and their lovers, I wish you a happy and sexy New Year. I’m looking forward to making 2019 the most awesome year it can be.

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“The Greatest Present” A Sexy Short Story For Christmas

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The following is a sexy short story I wrote as my personal gift, of sorts, to those in the mood for a sexier kind of holiday. I hope you enjoy it and I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.

“Ungh! Who the hell left the alarm clock on?” groaned a restless Aaron Wales.

The former theater actor turned sales manager rolled over and pounded his fist on the blaring clock radio. Much to his annoyance, it read 6:00 a.m. That was usually the time he had to get up just to be at work on time. Christmas morning was one of the few times when he could sleep in. Now, with his ears still ringing, he sighed as he laid back in bed.

“Merry Christmas, indeed,” he muttered.

Neither his tone nor his mood was very festive. That wasn’t entirely because he’d been jarred from a peaceful sleep, either. Christmas had been extra stressful for the past couple years. It was stressful enough, getting together with family and finishing all his shopping in time. Both he and his wife, Violet, came from big families that loved to go all out when it came to celebrating the holidays. It was usually so joyous, but for Aaron, there wasn’t much to celebrate.

Not long ago, his dream of acting professionally took a big hit when the theater company he worked for went bankrupt. It happened unexpectedly. While he later found out his boss had been mismanaging the budget for years, Aaron had worked hard for that company. For a time, it laid out a path for him to achieve his dream.

That dream now felt like a distant memory. He’d married Violet just before the company went bankrupt, promising her that he would bring raw spectacle to their lives and many others. She believed him. Being a graphic designer, she was one of the few who appreciated his love of the arts. Having to take a job in a sales department, just to keep paying the bills, felt like he’d broken that promise.

“I miss feeling excited about the holidays,” Aaron said to himself. “I miss feeling excited about any day.”

Resigned to his lack of holiday spirit, he turned over to see that the other half of his bed was empty. That didn’t surprise him. Violet was an early riser and was probably planning out their trip to his parents’ house later that morning. Content to let her work, he rolled over in hopes of going back to sleep.

Then, his phone started buzzing. He’d received another text. With another groan, Aaron reached over to response.

“What now?” he muttered.

Upon opening his phone, he was surprised to see a text from his wife. The fact they shared the same undersized apartment made that strange. What was even stranger, though, was the content of the text.

“Wake up, you wannabe Scrooge,” he read. “Santa came last night. He left something special under the tree.”

A string of colorful emojis followed, which confirmed it came from Violet. She ended every text with excessive emojis. It was her way of letting him know she appreciated his taste for the theatrics. It also let him know when she was being serious.

“Something special, eh?” Aaron said. “Well, I’m definitely not getting back to sleep now.”

Curiosity quickly overrode grogginess as he slipped out of bed and put on his bath robe. He then replied to the text, letting Violet know he was on his way. She responded with more emojis, as if to encourage him to hurry.

Heeding her request, Aaron exited the master bedroom and made his way down the hall. He suddenly felt like a kid again, making his way downstairs on Christmas morning to open presents. He already noticed that the lights from the Christmas tree in the living room were turned on. He could even hear a fire crackling in the fireplace, which was very unusual at such an early hour.

“What are you up to, Violet?” he wondered.

Seeking both answers and a good excuse for being up so early, he entered the living room not knowing what to expect. What he saw would’ve roused even the most bitter of Christmas spirits, among other things.

“Good morning, darling,” greeted a loving, sexy voice. “I hope you like your present!”

Aaron just stood in stunned silence for a moment. What he saw before him might not count as a classic Christmas miracle, but it probably should have.

Lying just in front of the Christmas tree they’d only finished decorating a week ago was the same beautiful woman he’d married, but presented in a spectacle that any theater enthusiast could appreciate. That simple nighty she’d worn to bed the other night was long gone. In fact, all her clothing was gone. She was as naked as the day she was born, except for an oversized red bow over her breasts and connected streamers that covered other parts of her female anatomy.

In addition to the bow was a large tag that read “To: Aaron. From: Santa.” It, along with the lighting from the tree and the steady glow of the fire in the fireplace, gave the impression that St. Nick himself had dropped off an angel to revitalize his Christmas spirit. If the sudden change of blood-flow in his lower body were any indication, it was working.

“Wow,” Aaron said with a beaming grin. “I don’t remember putting this on my Christmas list.”

“You didn’t have to,” Violet said curtly. “Santa knows what the boys and girls of the world wants, especially if they’ve been extra good.”

“And I’ve somehow been that good?”

“You have,” she said, “more so than you think.”

Like a true angel of the season, she rose up from the floor. The big red bow stayed on her body, covering her breasts. However, the fancy red streams did nothing to hide the rest of her nude features. Her legs, hips, and pussy were all clearly visible as she approached and took him in her loving arms.

“I’ve seen it too,” Violet told him. “These past few years – ever since the theater company went under – you’ve wanted more than just a cushy position as a sales manager.”

“Guess that’s one part of the list you don’t need to check twice,” Aaron said.

“I remember how your spirit sunk that day,” she went on. “I don’t think it has fully recovered. You still want a life in theater, but your path to it seems blocked. Even though it’s disheartening, you still find a way to be so good…to treat your family, your friends, and me with such love.”

“I’ve never been one to take my frustrations out on others. I’ve always tried to save that for the stage.”

“And in the spirit of Christmas, I just can’t let someone that good go without a special present.”

She embraced him closer, parts of her naked body making contact with his. Aaron stood enchanted under her touch as she lovingly caressed his unshaven face, not minding his bed hair or demeanor. He found himself returning her gesture, slipping his arms around her waist and feeling under the bow to touch her naked skin. Suddenly, Aaron wished he’d worn loser boxer shorts.

“Your holiday spirit never ceases to amaze me, Violet,” he told her. “This is a hell of a way to cheer a guy up on Christmas morning.”

“What makes you think that’s all I’m doing?” Violet asked with a sneaky undertone.

“Well, your lack of panties – and any other clothing, for that matter – does send that message.”

“That’s still only part of it. Take a look under the tag. You’ll see what I mean!”

Now intrigued, as well as horny, he did as she asked and turned over the extra-large tag hanging from the bow. Taped to the back was something almost as astonishing as seeing his naked wife under their Christmas tree wearing nothing but a bow.

“Holy…babe, is this what I think it is?” Aaron exclaimed, his excitement rivaling that of any child.

“That depends. Do you think it’s a business card of the West Broadway Theater Company? One that happens to have a note from the managing partner on the back?”

“A note that asks when can I start and who to call,” he said, his head spinning. “How did you…I mean, I thought they weren’t hiring!”

“They weren’t,” Violet told them, “until I cashed in almost every favor I could at my company. I offered the company some extensive pro-bono work from my team, provided they give you another chance to prove yourself. They agreed two days ago.”

“And you’ve been keeping this news from me ever since?”

“Only because I wanted to make it something special,” she said in a more serious tone, “a holiday spectacle the likes of which you didn’t think you could have anymore. Well, guess what? That changes today!”

The intensity in her voice was almost as big a turn-on as her being naked. Aaron still needed a moment to process it, holding the card up with his shaking hands to make sure it was real. Near as he could tell, it was as real as the falling snow outside. It was really happening. He officially had another chance to achieve his dream.

From the looks of it, his wife had gone out of her way to make it happen. That work she mentioned meant she was in for a lot of late nights for no added pay. If that beaming smile on her face was any indication, though, it was a price she’d gladly paid.

“Violet…I’m at a total loss here,” Aaron said, still in disbelief. “This is, quite possibly, the greatest Christmas present I’ve ever gotten.”

“Even better than the time your brother got you Hamilton tickets?” she questioned.

“Yes! This is definitely better than that,” he said without hesitation. “I honestly thought my dream was over. I did everything I thought I could possibly do. I was almost resigned to the idea that it was impossible.”

“Except, it wasn’t,” she pointed out. “You just needed some help getting another chance.”

“No. Not just help,” Aaron said, “a Christmas miracle!”

The card still in hand, his dream once again within his reach, he gave his wife the biggest kiss he’d given since their wedding day. His heart and spirit were energized in ways that he hoped to channel into his next theater performance. For the time being, though, he focused all of it onto the beautiful woman in his arms.

Their kiss was so passionate that it ended up loosening the bow covering her breasts. It also loosened his bathrobe, which already felt burdensome under the heat of their intimate contact. With the fire raging in the fireplace nearby, the whole room felt hot and wearing any clothing at that point felt untenable.

“Mmm…miraculous, indeed,” Violet said, already breathless.

“That’s just the first part. Now, I have to give you your gift!” Aaron said in his most seductive tone.

“You mean the new headphones I asked for? You already gave me those,” she said playfully.

“You know what I mean,” he quipped with a smirk. “Beside, I get the sense you didn’t dress up like a present without wanting to be unwrapped.”

“You sensed right, dear husband.”

Her seductive tone now matching his, they kissed again with greater purpose. As their lips and tongues meshed, Aaron undid the sash to his robe and let it fall to the floor, leaving him in just a pair of white boxers. He then took his wife in to his powerful arms and laid her down on the carpet just in front of the Christmas tree.

She laughed joyously as she showed off his strength and spirit, which he hadn’t shown much of in recent years. That must have really turned her on because she began undoing the bow covering her naked body. What she started, though, Aaron made sure to finish. Like a kid tearing into the biggest present under the tree, he ripped it off to render Violet completely naked.

“Now there’s a sight worthy of holiday magic,” Aaron said with a festive grin.

“Then, what are you waiting for?” Violet teased. “Get those boxers off and join your greatest gift under the tree!”

He didn’t need any further tempting. With a perfect blend of urgency and eagerness, he slipped out of his boxers, rendering him as naked as his lover. He was already partially aroused, an unavoidable byproduct of seeing his beautiful wife under the Christmas tree so early in the morning. As he hovered over her and took in the sight of the woman who’d just helped revitalize his dream, the arousal escalated in accord with his passion.

“Come, my loving husband,” she said to him. “Let’s create our own holiday special!”

Needing no further miracles to give his wife the gift he desired, Aaron went to work expressing the breadth of his love for her in the most physical manner possible. Being a lover of theater, he knew better than most how to turn passions into actions.

He began with a round of heated kissing, complete with plenty of tongue. He supplemented that with his wife’s favorite brand of foreplay, which involved him kneading her breasts with both hands, giving her nipples a pinch while she raked her fingers over the sinews of his back. That intense, physical touching created a heat that even the holiday cold couldn’t hope to quell. The added light of the Christmas tree helped create an even greater ambience.

“Mmm…I’m definitely in the spirit, now!” Violet purred as he kissed down her neck.

“Just you wait,” Aaron whispered into her ear, “the show’s just getting started!”

Further tapping into his theatrical talents, he proceeded to the next act of their holiday special. All the kissing and touching had rendered his love aroused and eager for his manly flesh. He could tell by the way her legs parted, the heat from her inner thighs radiating with desire. His manhood already fully erect, he prepared their flesh for a very festive union.

Shifting his hands from her breasts to her hips, Aaron positioned himself between her legs. Violet showed plenty of spirit as she eagerly hooked her legs around his waist, welcoming into her grasp. Their eyes never diverted as he guided his member towards her wet entrance. With a single, determined thrust, he entered her. In that moment, the line between their love and a Christmas miracle disappeared.

“Ohhh Aaron!” she gasped. “That feels so…festive!”

“Festive indeed,” he grinned.

They kissed again. Holiday miracles gave way to more basic instincts as their bodies began moving in the traditional dance of lovers. Aaron was more focused than usual, really digging his knees and feet into the floor as he made love to his wife, working their bodies in a rhythm worthy of the holiday spirit. Deep moans, hard gasps, and blissful proclamations of love followed, welcoming Christmas morning with the utmost joy.

Upon establishing that extra-special rhythm, their naked bodies moved and rocked together in a procession of intimate positions. They rolled around together on their living room floor, laughing and smiling as they embraced each other with amorous passion. One moment, Aaron was on top, pumping away into her intimate depths. The next, she was on top, riding his cock like the true holiday angel she was in his mind.

Beyond the inherent bliss that came with making love to his beautiful wife, Aaron saw in her a woman who had gone the extra mile. Violet was not just someone who married him for who he was. She married him for who he was striving to be. That kind of love set her apart from any woman he’d ever known. Like any good theatrical performance, the vision had to take priority over the various acts. For a love like theirs, it made for a beautiful performance.

“Violet! Ooh Violet…my Christmas angel,” he moaned in between his heated movements. “I…I’m really close.”

“Me…me too,” she panted. “Come on! One more miracle! Let’s…let’s come together!”

Whether by theatrics or holiday magic, their bodies seemed perfectly entwined for their ultimate peak. As they made their final push, they ended up in front of the fireplace, both in an upright position. Violet had her legs arched around his waist while he had a firm hold on her butt. From that position, she could ride his cock and he could supplement her every movement with his arms. It was the perfect setup for the grand finale.

Together, they guided each other to the brink or orgasm and beyond. When they reached the top of that proverbial peak, he embraced her closely and she embraced him back. Then, in one final miracle, they each shared in the ultimate holiday treat.

“Ohhh Aaron!”

“Oohhh Violet!”

Just as their voices supplemented one another, their bodies trembled under the weight of unfiltered ecstasy. His manhood tensed while her womanhood throbbed, their fluids mixing together in a pool of intimate bliss. Ripples of sensations morphed into waves as a euphoric heat surrounded them, compounding the heat of the fire with that of their naked bodies.

In that moment, under the light of their Christmas tree and the fire in their fireplace, the greatest present he could’ve asked for manifested before his eyes. His wife hadn’t just demonstrated how much she loved him and how far they’d come. She showed, through the spirit of the holidays, that dreams didn’t have to disappear. Through his wife’s love and a little holiday theatrics, miracles were possible.

“Merry Christmas, my darling husband,” she said lovingly.

“Merry Christmas, my beautiful wife,” Aaron replied, matching her love every step of the way. “Thank you for giving me the greatest Christmas present I’ve ever had.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied, “and if you think this is special, just wait until you see what I have planned for New Years!”

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Have A Very Merry (And Sexy) Christmas

To friends, family, and all the wonderful people who help make this website as awesome as it is, I wish you a very Merry Christmas. May your holidays be filled with love, happiness, and all things sexy.

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Imagining My Idea Of A Perfect Christmas

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I’d like to do something different today and not just because it’s Christmas Eve. First off, I hope everyone reading this has some festive plans for today and tomorrow. To everyone out there who has been following my work and this website, I sincerely thank you and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas holiday. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

What constitutes a successful Christmas holiday means many things for many people. For some, it means getting together with family, opening presents, and sharing a quiet holiday dinner full of love, cheer, and ugly Christmas sweaters. For some, there are more elaborate traditions, from going to the movies to attending a big party that winds up with some feeling less merry the next day. For some, it’s just another day off work.

Whatever way you or your family celebrate, we all have a different vision for what makes for a perfect Christmas. More often than not, this vision changes considerably as we get older. As kids, a perfect Christmas usually means getting all the toys we asked for. As adults, it’s more about the experience than the gifts. The key is maximizing both.

My idea of a perfect Christmas certainly has changed. When I was in high school, just having a week off made it perfect. When I was in college, being able to spend a few nights in my old room without hearing my roommate snore like a broken chainsaw was good enough. These days, I’ve dared to envision a more ambitious Christmas.

Talk to any of my relatives and they’ll attest to that ambition. I tend to go overboard with the gift-giving. I often buy more than one gift for someone and I go out of my way to make it extra special. I’ve been known to drop a lot more money than most on Christmas presents. It’s almost a running joke among my family. They’ll say I’m thrifty for 11 months out of the year, just so I can splurge on the last.

I take pride in my ability to invest in making Christmas special for those I love and cherish. I’m not married yet, but if I ever do find that special someone, I’ll make it a point to invest even more. Every year, however, I often find myself wondering how great it could be if I had more money and more resources at my disposal.

With that in mind, I’d like to present my vision for the perfect Christmas celebration for me, my family, and those I care about. In this vision, I have an unlimited bank account. Perhaps one of my novels became a best seller or I won the lottery. Whatever the case, money is no object and I can create as festive a spectacle as I please. Given such resources, this is how my perfect Christmas would play out.

On November 1st, I send everyone close to me a request for a list of their most desired presents. Each item can cost no more than $1,000 and must be something that can be wrapped. I tell them they must provide me this list by Thanksgiving or December 1st, at the latest.

With this information, I proceed to buy every gift on this list and even a few extras from me, just to mix things up. Then, I have every one of these gifts professionally gift-wrapped and stored until Christmas Eve.

Then, a week before Christmas Eve, I reserve an entire floor of a fancy hotel. Each room has a fully-lit Christmas tree and whatever comforts my friends and family desire. Along with those rooms, I rent a penthouse suite and have it decorated to the greatest extent possible, complete with lights along every well and a Christmas tree no shorter than nine feet in height.

In addition to the decorations, the penthouse would have a large fireplace and big-screen TVs with everything necessary to watch whatever sports or Christmas specials are on. Everything would be set up with the intent of everyone arriving early on Christmas Eve.

By then, all the presents I had bought and wrapped earlier would be delivered and put under the tree. As soon as friends and family start arriving, I have a team of professional cooks prepare a special lunch buffet. Then, we spend the afternoon together, catching up and enjoying whatever festivities we desire. We cap it all off with a traditional Christmas feast that includes turkey, ham, and cake.

Then, at nine o’clock we all gather around the tree, pick one present, and open it together. After sharing in that moment and enjoying a few late deserts, we all retire to our bedrooms and go to sleep.

The next morning, we sleep in and gather around the tree again to open up the rest of our presents. When all is said and done, we gather around a big dining room table for a Christmas breakfast. From there, we spend the rest of the day enjoying our new presents, watching Christmas specials, and playing games.

It all ends with one last holiday feast, consisting of pasta and meatballs, just like my grandmother used to make. After enjoying this meal, we gather around the tree one last time for desert and just enjoy each other’s company for the rest of the night.

That may seem needlessly elaborate for some, even if they had unlimited money to work with. For me, the key is creating an extra-special experience to share with the people I love. Whether that includes the cost of renting an entire hotel floor or just a few extra bucks on Christmas presents, I believe that investing in that experience helps make the holidays more special.

I may never get rich enough to make this happen. By this time next year, my idea of the perfect Christmas might change considerably, depending on where life takes me. For now, though, this is my little holiday fantasy and I’m happy to share it with those who have helped make this website as successful as it is.

If you have your own idea of a perfect Christmas, please share it in the comments. Once again, I wish everyone reading this a safe and happy holidays.

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“Holiday Three-Way” A Sexy Short Story For The Holidays

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The following is a sexy short story I wrote to help get everyone excited for the holidays in the sexiest way possible. Enjoy!

“Are you ready for your favorite holiday tradition, my love?” asked the sexiest, most loving voice in the world?

“I’m ready, Erin,” replied an excited Benjamin Alanzo. “I’m so goddamn ready!”

“I can see that,” she laughed. “You’re more excited than usual.”

“What can I say? I’m full of Christmas spirit!”

Ben laughed along with his beautiful wife, Erin. He couldn’t help but be a little giddy. It was Christmas Eve. It was snowing outside. Tomorrow morning, they were going to spend the day with his parents where they would open presents, drink eggnog, and celebrate the holiday. However, that was only his second favorite tradition. His most favorite was just about to unfold.

“Um…can we take the blindfold off now?” said another female voice that sounded more humored than excited.

“Sure! I think we’ve kept him waiting long enough,” said Erin playfully. “Would you like to do the honors?”

“Is that also part of the tradition?”

“It is, actually. Go ahead! Share it with us.”

The other woman sounded both curious and intrigued. That was to be expected. He and Erin understood that their idea of a “holiday tradition” varied considerably compared to most married couples. Whereas some visited grandparents or baked gingerbread cookies, he and Erin opted for something a little kinkier.

Even by holiday standards, it was more elaborate than most. It started with them reserving a hotel suite at one of the best hotels in the city. It ended with him lying on the bed, blindfolded with his wrists bound by holiday bow-ties. Somewhere in between, his wonderful wife called up their favorite escort agency to enlist the help of another woman to make the holidays extra memorable. Every year, they found someone else who got a kick out of their tradition.

Ben finally got his first look at the woman with which they’d be sharing Christmas Eve with. After removing the blindfold, he laid eyes on a woman who looks a bit overwhelmed, but very spirited, none-the-less.

“Hi,” she said with a casual grin. “I’m Candi. I guess I’ll be the third part of this little holiday three-way.”

“Nice to meet you, Candi,” Ben said with a polite smile, “but make no mistake. There’s nothing little about this tradition.”

“And no, he’s not just talking about the bulge in his underwear,” Erin laughed.

“I’d hoped that part was self-evident,” he chuckled.

Candi finally shared in the laughter. It seemed like she was ready to embrace the tradition as well. Erin had already prepared her and she was a stunning testament to both the spirit of the season and raw sex appeal.

She was younger than her and Erin, looking to be college aged, which was typical for girls from the escort agency. She had a similar body type to that of his wife, bearing an athletic figure with just the right amount of curves and muscle tone. She also had on similar attire, wearing green lingerie that perfectly complemented Erin’s matching red lingerie. Both had an oversized bow on top covering their breasts, as if to present themselves as the sexiest presents a straight man could ask for.

It was a beautifully festive sight, one that already had him pitching a tent in his boxers, which was all he had on. Erin, who was on the king-sized bed with Candi, playfully teased it as she cast him that sexy glance that felt extra meaningful on the holidays.

“In case you’re wondering…yes, we do this every year,” Erin said to Candi, who just kept smiling with bemused fascination. “On Christmas Eve, I procure the services of an escort to give my wonderful husband a three-way. It’s one of those extra-special gifts that I just love giving!”

“And I love receiving it, just as much,” Ben said proudly.

“Hey, I wasn’t judging,” Candi said. “I’m just not used to serving married couples. Most of the married people I service…well, they don’t exactly advertise that they’re married.”

“And they probably do a piss-poor job of hiding their wedding rings too,” Erin said, rolling her eyes, “but we’re not one of those couples. We never have been. We knew before we got married that we don’t do monogamy, at least not the sexy part.”

“So you’re polygamous or something?” Candi asked.

“Not necessarily,” Erin said.

“I like to think we’re just a lot hornier than most people and we don’t waste time trying to suppress it,” said Ben.

“Yeah, I’d say that sums it up,” Erin chuckled, “and if we’re not going to suppress it, we might as well embrace it. Hence our sexy little holiday tradition!”

“And what a tradition it is!” he said proudly.

With a seductive glint in her eye, his wife leaned forward and kissed him. It helped reassure Candi that there was nothing unusual about what they were doing, relatively speaking. Most of the escorts they hired only thought it was somewhat strange that a couple hired escorts for three-ways. Candi’s reaction was a bit stronger, though. It was as if what she saw a Christmas miracle, of sorts.

As he and Erin kissed, Ben noticed the look on Candi’s face shift from one of curiosity to one of arousal. She crawled in a little closer, the heat of her body mixing with hers. She clearly wanted in on the action. In the spirit of giving, Ben had no intention of denying her and neither did his wife.

“It looks like you want a taste,” Erin said to Candi.

“Would you be jealous if I did?” Candi asked.

“Ha! Jealousy…such an ugly concept,” she scoffed. “I don’t own my husband’s lips or control what he does with them. He doesn’t own mine, either. I married him because I love him, not because I want to control what he does with his lips, hands, and genitals.”

“That…almost makes too much sense,” said Candi.

“Trust me. It’ll make even more after you kiss me,” Ben said, daring her more with his eyes.

Candi, abandoning whatever lingering hesitations she’d harbored, finally took him up on the offer and leaned in for a kiss. Her lips were different than Erin’s, but sweet in their own unique way. Ben quickly learned that Candi liked to use a lot of tongue, so much so that it got a little sloppy. He heard Erin chuckle, but that didn’t stop her from joining in.

“At a girl, Candi! Taste those manly lips,” she said. “There’s plenty to go around.”

Erin rejoined the effort, crawling up closer so that she laid on one side of his still-bound body while Candi laid on the other. With newfound coordination, they came together in a three-way kiss. It got even messier, lips and tongues wrestling for a taste. It got proportionally sexier too, evoking desire and passions perfectly befitting of the holiday spirit.

“Mmm…you’re a good kisser,” said Candi. “Both of you are.”

“We get a lot of practice,” Ben boasted.

“With each other and other people,” Erin added.

“Practice makes perfect,” he shrugged. “We’re better at other things too.”

“I’ll bet!” Candi said with growing excitement. “I already looking forward to it.”

“Now, you sound like a girl on Christmas morning,” teased Erin, “which is so fitting for what we’re about to do!”

The two beautiful women laughed as they resumed their three-way kissing. Their festive passions having been sparked, other sensual gestures followed. Erin began pawing his chest, tracing along the manly sinews of his upper body. Together, they trailed their lips down his neck and shoulders, exchanging glances as if to enhance their coordination. It quickly became a competition of who could use their lips better on his body and Ben was the ultimate winner.

“Oh yeah!” Ben moaned. “Now, you’re getting into it.”

“I’ll say,” Erin said.

The two women quickly made their way down his torso and abdomen, pawing and touching his exposed flesh along the way. When they finally got to his lower body, the bulge in his boxers became too big to ignore.

“Looks like we really roused his Christmas spirit,” said Erin.

“So we did,” Candi affirmed. “May I?”

“Or course! By all means, open our little present.”

Now positively giddy, Candi removed his boxers, letting his penis pop free of its confines. He was already fully erect. Having two beautiful women in bed did that to a man, but it was only the start of a much large spectacle.

“Wow!” said Candi. “That’s quite a package.”

“And people wonder why I’m such a spirited wife,” Erin said.

“They rarely wonder for long,” Ben said under his breath.

“And since we’re unwrapping presents, what do you say we unwrap a little something for my handsome hubby?”

Rather than explain it to their sexy guest, Erin demonstrated as only she could. With sex appeal that reminded Ben why he married her, she undid the bow on top of her lingerie and removed it in a sensual spectacle, revealing her breasts in the process. Ben swore his manhood twitched at such a sight.

Erin got the message quickly and mirrored his wife’s actions, undoing the bow on her attire as well and sliding it off to show off her own feminine endowment. Now, Ben had a perfect view of two topless women, each only wearing a thong at that point. Erin made it a point to show off her breasts alongside Candi’s, which were of similar size. Ben just marveled at the sight, like a kid gazing upon his favorite toys.

“Like what you see, my love?” Erin asked playfully.

“Hell yeah!” Ben said without hesitation. “It would be an affront to Christmas if I didn’t.”

“I’m already enjoying this tradition of yours,” Candi remarked.

“We’re still just getting warmed up. You’ve shown that you can keep up with me when it comes to kissing my husband. Think you can keep up when it comes to sucking his dick?”

“Hmm,” Candi said, pretending to think about it. “I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

It was official. Candi was buying into their tradition. She didn’t wait for Erin to set the tone like before. As soon as his wife licked her lips and went in to taste his cock, Candi joined in. Their lips touched the tip of his member almost simultaneously.

“Ooh! You’re keeping up nicely,” Ben commented.

That seemed to encourage them, much to his delight. Just as before, they treated it like a competition as to who could suck his dick better. All Ben had to do was lay back and enjoy the show.

Erin, a woman who once boasted she paid for a limo ride to her senior prom with blowjobs, set a high bar. She showed off her impressive gag reflex, taking almost his entire length into her mouth and trailing her lips down every veiny contour. Not to be outdone, Candi showed that she was a true professional, taking just as much of his length into her mouth and even using a little extra tongue around the tip.

“Not bad,” Erin said. “I see you’re one of those escorts who puts effort into her job.”

“What can I say? I like being good at my job,” Candi teased.

“Mmm…so do I,” said Ben. “I like it a lot!”

The two women snickered before resuming their competition, taking turns with their oral teasing. Candi sucked him off for a few rounds. Erin did the same, but made it a point to step up the pace. They furthered their coordination, stroking the base together.

Eventually, however, the completion gave way to playful, sexy fun. At one point, they were both licking along his shaft, giggling like a couple of school girls. They even kissed, using their breasts to tit-fuck him together. Ben almost came on the spot. It was so sexy he could barely contain himself. Were it not for the wrappers around his wrists, he would’ve contributed as well.

It perfectly symbolized the kind of relationship he and his wife had. They’d always been so sexually open, never hiding how much they loved to get frisky. He’d been an unapologetic ladies man, going all the way back to high school. Erin had always been a free spirit, so to speak. She never hid her fondness for sex, nor did she let anyone shame her for it.

When their paths crossed, it became clear to them that they could love each other and still want to have sex with other people. Ben recalled the first time Erin agreed to have a three-way. After that experience, he knew he was going to marry her. He also knew they were going to have an amazing sex life.

“I think we’ve teased him enough,” said Erin, sensing his growing eagerness.

“I’d say so too,” said Candi. “That dick is harder than the north pole!”

“And sucking it with you has gotten me all wet,” said Erin. “What do you say we ditch the panties and share the holiday spirit?”

“I’m game!” she said eagerly. “Hell, this is already the best Christmas I’ve had in years.”

Candi didn’t need Erin to set the stage at that point. She couldn’t slide off her panties fast enough, leaving her completely nude. Ben could already see the extent of her arousal. Apparently, the spirit of their holiday tradition had gotten her horny as well. In the spirit of that tradition, he couldn’t wait to show her more holiday spirit.

“Since you’re so excited, why don’t you ride his cock first?” Erin suggested.

“That’s so generous of you,” Candi said playfully.

“Well, it is the season of given,” Ben teased.

“That, it is!”

Erin and Candi coordinated once more. Candi, already fondling her pussy in anticipation, got on top of him and straddled his pelvis. As her outer folds hovered over the tip of his dick, Erin unwrapped one of the condoms they had stashed nearby and put it on, complete with some special lube. Candi, looking ready for holiday treats, eagerly grabbed hold of his torso and aligned her body with his. With a simple downward thrust of her hips, he entered her.

“Oohhh yes!” Candi moaned out.

From there, holiday spectacle gave way to basic lust. His arms remained tied and his dick was free to ride, which Candi did with festive spirit. Ben could tell when an escort was just going through the motions to earn their money. He didn’t see any of that in Candi. She really had embraced her and Erin’s kinky tradition and it made the feeling that much more satisfying.

Ben clung hard to the ribbons that had his wrists tied, holding on as Candi gyrated her hips, working her moist folds along the length of his member. She was quite vocal about how much she enjoyed it, moaning and gasping blissfully while clinging to his torso with both hands. It felt so good, his manhood slithering inside a beautiful woman’s inner depths. Sharing that feeling with others felt wholly in line with the spirit of giving.

“Oh fuck yeah! Ooh I love Christmas!” Ben moaned.

“That’s it! Enjoy your gift, my love,” said Erin as she looked one.

Not one to be left out, Erin shared in the fun, as well. While Candi road his cock, she hovered over him, kissing his lips while she fondled her own pussy. As his face contorted to the bliss coursing through his body, she cast him a beaming smile. Seeing a lover in pleasure – the man she loved and the man who accepted her, sexual kinks and all – was a satisfying sight in its own right. It was a perfect reflection of why their approach to sex worked so well.

“You look like you’re having fun. Why don’t I share in this wondrous gift?” Erin said.

“Tis the season, my love,” Ben quipped.

Laughing playfully, she rose up so that she stood over him with her pelvis right in his face. With Candi still riding his dick, she shoved his head between her inner thighs so that he could taste her heat. Ben did so without hesitation, plunging his tongue into her moist folds and tasting her flesh as though it were his favorite holiday treat.

“Yes! Tis the season, indeed!” Erin moaned.

“You guys…are my new favorite clients!” Candi said, panting heavily from her movements.

“We’re fond of you too, Candi,” said Erin. “Here, let me show you how fond.”

In a show of flexibility that caught her by surprise, Rein leaned back with the flexibility of a skilled gymnast and kissed Candi. That only encouraged her even more. She leaned in closer, working her hips with more leverage as the three of them indulged in fleshly gifts.

Moans, grunts, and playful laughter soon filled the hotel room. Ben ate his wife out while Candi rode his cock, creating a perfect cycle of ecstasy that soon escalated. He could tell by the way her inner muscles throbbed that she was close to orgasm. Some escorts were good at faking it, but he sensed there was nothing fake about what she felt. The look on her face, the way her body shuddered, and the intensity with which she kissed Erin left no room for doubt. She was going to climax first.

“Oohhh fuck! I…I’m close. I’m coming!” she exclaimed.

“You almost sound surprised,” Erin said. “Guess that means I better make sure!”

True to the kinky spirit Ben so loved, Erin pulled away from Ben’s face and got behind Candi. Then, as the younger woman rode his member to the brink and beyond, she reached behind and fondled her breasts while kissing down her neck. That did more than just give Candi the final push she needed. That send her into an orgasmic frenzy that might as well have been a Christmas miracle.

“Oohhh yes!” Candi cried out.

It was a spectacle worthy of any holiday. Ben watched in awe as Candi closed her eyes, threw her head back, and trembled under the weight of her orgasmic release. Had Erin not been behind her, she probably would’ve collapsed under her own weight. She seemed to appreciate that, so much so that she gave Erin an extra sexy kiss that Ben committed to memory.

“Wow,” Erin said. “You’re pretty vocal during sexy time.”

“You mean…for an escort, right?” Candi said breathlessly.

“No, I don’t,” she replied.

Candi, still drunk on orgasmic bliss, smiled at the older woman and kissed her again. Her pussy continued throbbing around his member until the feeling passed. Afterward, she rose up off him. His member remained rock hard, though, and seeing two beautiful, naked women kiss only heightened his desires.

“I don’t know about you ladies, but I’m ready for the finale of our little tradition, if you are,” said Ben.

“I ready too, my darling,” said Erin without hesitation, “but if our lovely participant needs a moment or two…”

Candi didn’t even let her finish.

“I don’t!” she said intently. “Please…you two have been so good to me tonight. Whatever I need to do to help you complete this sexy holiday tradition, I’m game!”

Ben exchanged glances with Erin. That might have been the post-orgasm afterglow talking, but they trusted the younger woman’s words. If she was that determined to share in the Christmas spirit with them, who were they to argue?

“In that case, follow my lead and hold on!” Erin said in a deep, seductive voice. “This last part is naughty, nice, and everything in between.”

“Think of it as an extra-sexy stocking stuffer,” added Ben.

Candi, still catching her breath, just grinned in anticipation. While Ben removed the condom, Erin captured the younger woman’s lips once more and began making out with her. As their naked bodies got reacquainted, Erin laid her down and got on top of her, their breasts now perfectly mashed together.

It was such a sexy sight, ensuring Ben’s dick stayed rock hard and ready for the final push. Already filled with Christmas spirit, among many other feelings, he joined in the kinky fun. He positioned himself behind the two women, playfully grabbing his wife’s heart-shaped ass as he guided his manhood towards her wet opening.

“My loving husband is going to fuck me now,” Erin said to Candi. “He’s going to make me come. In the process, we’re going to make you come a second time.”

“That’s…ambitious,” Candi said, almost sounding skeptical.

“It’s not ambition. It’s what’s going to happen!” she said with the utmost certainty.

“It’ll be the sexiest Christmas miracle of all time,” Ben added, sharing his wife’s confidence.

Sensing that Candi remained unconvinced, Ben went to work coordinating with his wife to deliver on their Christmas promise. Now hovering over the two naked women, watching his wife resume her make-out session with Candi, he eagerly thrust his hips forward and entered Erin’s pussy. After being restrained for the first part of their sexy tradition, he could finally demonstrate his own sexual prowess.

With strength and vigor that could brighten any holiday, Ben skillfully worked his manhood within his love’s moist folds. Her womanly flesh hugged his so perfectly, embracing him and the spirit of their love. Together, they embraced the feeling of free, unfiltered bliss that they’d made part of their sex lives. It was part of what made their relationship special and more than a little kinky.

Candi got to share in that feeling. He could tell by the look on her face that his wife was using her knowledge of the female body to their advantage. As their naked bodies grinded together under the fervor of his sexual movements, their breasts rubbed together to share in the simulation. Erin also made sure her pelvis rubbed against the younger woman in just the right way to stimulate her still-swollen clit, ensuring she got to share in the fruits of their intimate labor.

“Oohhh yeah! You feel that, Candi?” Erin said as their naked bodies rocked in unison.

“Mmm…I do. I really do!” Candi said, almost sounding surprised.

“My husband…fucks me good! Watch him…make me…come!”

His wife’s faith and confidence in him never ceased to amaze him. It made Ben even more determined to give Erin the ecstasy she craved.

He pulled out all the stops, digging his knees and feet into the bed as he humped her with focused vigor. Ben knew just how to get his wife to the brink, stimulating those extra-sensitive areas within her depths. It was one of the benefits of marrying such a horny woman. She knew how to have sex and she knew how to enjoy an orgasm. It made his job easier and more satisfying.

It still surprised Candi, though. She looked genuinely shocked when she too approached the brink of orgasm.

“It’s happening! I’m coming! I…I’m coming!” Candi exclaimed.

“Ohhh me too!” Erin moaned. “Let’s…let’s come together!”

“By all means, ladies!” Ben grinned.

Feeling emboldened with even more Christmas spirit – as well as an orgasm of his own, which he’d been holding back for a while – he delivered the last round of thrusts. As soon as Erin crossed that special threshold, she took her hands in his, enlaced their fingers together, and held on as the feeling washed over her.

It was still as beautiful a sight as it was on their first honeymoon, seeing his wife climax. She threw her head back, arched her body, and let out a cry to the heavens that could probably be heard at the North Pole. It was sweeter than any Christmas music.

As her inner muscles throbbed around his cock, Candi climaxed again as well. She ended up grabbing onto their hands as well, as though they were her anchor in their ascent to ecstasy. She wasn’t as vocal as she’d been on the first orgasm, but it was every bit as festive.

“Enjoying the holidays yet?” Ben said, leaning over and whispering into his wife’s wear.

“With you…I always do,” Erin replied lovingly.

While she soaked in her orgasmic bliss, she turned her head and captured his lips in a loving kiss. Even with part of Candi’s lipstick smeared on her face, it tasted so sweet.

“You two are just too awesome,” Candi said. “This is officially my favorite Christmas tradition of all time!”

“Funny you should say that,” said Erin after their lips parted. “Who said it’s over?”

“Well, I did notice that someone hasn’t gotten their gift yet,” she said.

“We can’t have that now, can we? Whatever shall we do?”

“I don’t know….tit fuck him until he comes on our breasts?” Candi said, as though it were the most mundane thing ever.

“Well, I was going to offer Christmas cookies, but that works too!”

“I’ll take either!” Ben said eagerly.

“I bet you would,” Erin said coyly, “but I know which one you prefer.”

His wife knew him too well. Ben, still panting heavily, withdrew his penis from his wife’s throbbing pussy and rose back into an upright position. From there, the two naked women practically pounced on his dick, getting on both sides of him and coordinating with stunningly sexy efficiency.

While exchanging sultry glances, the Erin and Candi skillfully mashed their breasts together around his rigid cock. Then, like a well-oiled piston, they worked his member between their fleshy mounds, sending Ben into a state of heavenly bliss that brought him to the brink of orgasm.

“Oh…ohhh fuck!” he grunted. “Ladies…I’m about to…come!”

“Go on, my darling,” Erin said. “You’ve been such a good boy.”

“A good, naughty boy!” Candi added.

After a few more sensual motions, it finally happened. Ben crossed that special threshold that separated simple bliss from intense ecstasy. He found himself embracing both women as he let out a deep, powerful grunt of euphoria. His lower body shuddered and his manhood throbbed as he released his load of manly fluid.

Having held back for a while, it was quite a load. It surprised Candi, but not Erin. She just opened her mouth and eagerly licked up his juices, as though it were her favorite holiday treat. She didn’t mind that she got some in her eye. Candi even helped her lick it up, a courtesy that seemed entirely in keeping with the spirit of Christmas.

“Merry Christmas…to all,” Ben said in his blissful days.

“Merry Christmas indeed,” Erin said, smiling up at him as she licked the cum off her fingers.

“Don’t you mean Merry fucking Christmas…literally?” Candi joked.

“Okay, it’s official. You’re our new favorite escort!”

The two women laughed. Ben did as well while enjoying what remained of his release. Now spent and satisfied, he laid back down on the bed. Candi and Erin joined him, each curling up to his side. Erin gave him a loving kiss and Candi gave one as well, looking like she had more holiday spirit than either of them.

The younger woman wasn’t the first escort they’d invited to a three-way. She wasn’t even the first one with which they shared their special holiday tradition. However, Candi showed a greater appreciation of it than anyone else before her. The idea that they helped share such an intimate, sexy tradition with her only made the holidays more memorable.

“Thank you,” Candi said to them. “Seriously, I know you just hired me for a job, but this was…well, let’s just say I needed it. Escorts don’t usually work on Christmas Eve because of their holiday spirit.”

“I’m glad you could share this with us, Candi,” said Ben. “I hope we’ve given you a new appreciation for holiday traditions.”

“Oh you definitely have!” she said. “I don’t think I’ll ever look at Christmas the same way.”

“Then, consider that our gift to you,” said Erin, “and if you’re ever in town again, looks up. If you enjoyed what we do for Christmas, then I think you’ll love what we do for New Years!”

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Why “Bad Santa” Is The Greatest Modern Christmas Movie

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This is the time of year where you can’t go more than a half-hour without seeing a Christmas movie on TV. We’re basically in the heart of the holiday season. People have finally stopped complaining about Christmas decorations going up too early or getting a head start on their shopping. It’s not just fast-approaching anymore. The holidays are here.

Now, I love the holidays as much as anyone. As such, I have a strong appreciation for Christmas movies. I often go through stretches in December where I’ll watch at least part of a Christmas movie every day. It’s a beautiful thing that gets me in the spirit and gives me an excuse to drink eggnog spiked with whiskey.

I have a long list of personal favorites. I’m also among those who argue vehemently that “Die Hard” qualifies as a Christmas movie. Despite what Bruce Willis himself says, this movie will always be part of my holiday viewing schedule. I could write multiple articles to justify that position, but that’s not my intent here.

In recent years, I’ve found myself immersed in another argument surrounding a unique kind of Christmas movie. That movie is a lesser-known, but underrated gem called “Bad Santa.” If you’ve seen it, then you probably understand why it inspires such colorful discussions during the holidays. If you haven’t, then I urge you to check it out, but do not watch it with your children.

Make no mistake. “Bad Santa” is to Christmas movies what the McRib is to fast food fans. It’s one of those rare movies that doesn’t just go in the opposite direction of every classic trope associated with a particular genre. It gives those themes the finger, kicks it in the balls, and throws up on them for good measure.

This movie has no holiday miracles. There’s no magic at work. There’s no heartwarming moments that reaffirm the spirit of the season. This movie is weapons grade cynicism for all things Christmas and it goes about it in a way that’s vulgar, crude, disgusting, and hilarious.

The story is not for the faint of heart. It follows Willie Soke, a degenerate, misanthropic, womanizing, alcoholic who makes his living cracking safes with his dwarf partner-in-crime, Marcus Skidmore. Their tactics are the antithesis of the holiday spirit. Willie works as a mall Santa while Marcus works as an elf. They work at malls during the holidays and then rob them on Christmas Eve.

If you expect the movie to be a feel-good holiday story about a criminal redeeming himself during Christmas, then prepare to be disappointed. Willie is not that kind of character and “Bad Santa” does not tell that kind of story. While Willie does undergo some growth, he’s still an asshole by the time the credits roll.

The story doesn’t try to redeem Willie. It doesn’t even try to put him on the path to becoming a better person. All the Christmas miracles in world can’t do that for someone like him. However, his story does bring something uniquely festive to the table. The way things play out for Willie and those around him convey a powerful message that resonates with the holiday season in its own perverse way.

Some go so far as to argue that “Bad Santa” is an anti-Christmas movie. I can understand that sentiment to some extent. However, I would argue that “Bad Santa” is one of those movies that has become more relevant with time. I would even argue that, in the context of the modern spirit of Christmas, “Bad Santa” is the greatest modern Christmas movie.

Now, I know that won’t sit well with those who still love “It’s A Wonderful Life” or “How The Grinch Stole Christmas.” I don’t deny that those are great Christmas movies that deserve to be classics. I’m not arguing that “Bad Santa” is better than those movies or deserves to be in the same category. I simply believe that “Bad Santa” is the greatest Christmas movie for the current times in which we live and these are my reasons why.


Reason #1: It Reflects The Real (And Increasingly Jaded) World

Let’s face it. These are not the upbeat, idealistic times of yesteryear. People no longer trust in their government. People keep seeing once-beloved celebrities self-destruct. In general, people just aren’t confident about the future anymore. As a society, we’re becoming more and more jaded. That’s exactly the kind of sentiment that “Bad Santa” appeals to.

This movie is a world where assholes keep being assholes. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. That may not be a great basis for a Christmas movie, but it perfectly represents the real world, now more than ever. In this day and age, we see famous and powerful people get away with awful things time and again. There’s no miracle that comes around to right all the wrongs.

In “Bad Santa,” this harsh view of the world isn’t avoided. For the entire movie, Willie essentially channels the defeatist attitude of Al Bundy. His life sucks. He hates himself. He barely even flinches when he’s staring down the barrel of a gun at one point. Beyond the self-loathing, though, he finds a way to provide real insights into the holidays.

Do we really need all the crap we ask for on Christmas? Do we really need magic, miracles, or some grand spectacle to appreciate it? Willie’s entire persona is an indictment of those who rely too much on magical thinking during the holidays. In the real world, that doesn’t get anyone anything other than a gut punch and a kick in the ass.


Reason #2: It Relies On Choices Rather Than Miracles

As deplorable a human being as Willie Soke is, he does have one defining trait that makes him somewhat sympathetic. He doesn’t make excuses. He doesn’t blame the world or everyone else for his lousy lot in life. He’s very much a product of his choices. He chooses to drink, spit, swear, and piss himself while wearing a Santa suit. There’s no extenuating circumstances. These are his choices.

Granted, they’re deplorable choices from someone inclined to self-destruction, but he makes them freely and doesn’t hide from the consequences. These same choices are what makes his relationship to the dense, but lovable kid in the movie, Therman, so meaningful. Willie has no reason to care or help this kid in any capacity and the kid is in no position to stop him.

In the end, though, Willie doesn’t need a miracle or some visit from Christmas spirits to make his choices. Therman’s influence on him, while ridiculous and downright pathetic at times, is sufficient for him to make the choices that make the story work. While they don’t necessarily redeem Willie for all his misdeeds, it does show that even a drunk like him can do the right thing without a miracle.

That, in and of itself, is a testament to the spirit of Christmas. When someone like Willie Soke can actually choose to do something good for a gullible kid, then that offers hope to any jaded soul on the holidays.


Reason #3: It Highlights Small (But Meaningful) Gestures

Many of the most memorable Christmas movies often have these big, elaborate gestures that attempt to make our hearts gush with holiday cheer. Whether it’s embracing loved ones at the end of “It’s A Wonderful Life” or reuniting with family in “Home Alone,” it feels like a Christmas movie has to go overboard with holiday sentiment.

Bad Santa” takes the exact opposite approach, but somehow finds a way to make those gestures more meaningful. The movie doesn’t take place in the North Pole or some fanciful holiday setting. It takes place in Phoenix, Arizona where it doesn’t snow and heavy coats are useless. It effectively removes the ambiance of the holidays beyond the tacky decorations that people put up.

That works perfectly for “Bad Santa” because it ensures any gesture carries more weight. Whether it’s Willie trying to get Thurman his Christmas present or Willie putting back together the Advent Calendar, these small moments feel bigger in a setting devoid of traditional holiday magic.

There’s no sweeping change that turns Phoenix into some sort of Christmas haven. The world of “Bad Santa” never tries to be anything other than a world of shallow holiday imagery because that’s all it needs. Anything more than that is just fantasy and there’s only so much fantasy you can muster in a story that follows a misanthropic drunk.


Reason #4: It Offers Perspective Rather Than Hope

Another major trait of classic Christmas movies is the hope they inspire. When you get to the end of a Christmas movie, you’re supposed to feel a sense of hope. There’s this sense that the story has somehow rekindled someone’s holiday spirit. While there will always be a place for that kind of hope in a fantasy world, “Bad Santa” offers something different, but valuable.

More than anything else, “Bad Santa” conveys a sense of perspective about the holidays. It’s not this wonderful, heartfelt occasion for everybody. There are a lot of miserable, self-loathing drunks like Willie Soke out there who don’t want or need hope. They’d rather have something that’ll make life suck a little less.

That’s the best Willie can strive for in “Bad Santa” and that’s exactly what he does. Being around Therman doesn’t make him a beacon of Christmas spirit. It just makes his miserable life slightly less miserable and he’s grateful for that. As a result, he makes an effort to help the kid have a good Christmas.

Sure, his efforts result in him getting roughed up and shot, but that’s perfectly appropriate for the tone of the story. In the real world, noble efforts like that aren’t always rewarded. Sometimes, they end up pretty messy, which Willie finds out the hard way on more than one occasion. It’s not the most uplifting message, but it’s the most honest.

Perspective today is more precious than it has ever been before. In the era of fake news and alternative facts, it’s hard to maintain a firm grasp on reality. Christmas movies tend to obscure reality for something more cheerful, but “Bad Santa” for something more real and that’s what makes it so effective as a story.


Reason #5: It Finds Humor In Bad Situations

To this point, if I’ve given the impression that “Bad Santa” is one depressing slog of a movie, I apologize. Yes, it can be depressing and bleak, but it’s also obscenely funny. There are dark moments in this movie that involve depression, alcoholism, and even attempted suicide. However, many of these moments are perfectly balanced with moments of raw hilarity.

Whether it’s Willie beating the snot out of a bunch of bullies or Marcus berating Gin with a masterful string of profanity, this movie invests heavily on humor. Granted, it’s a very adult form of humor, but it works perfectly within the context of the story. From the very beginning, Willie and his supporting cast are in all sorts of awful situations. Injecting humor into the mix helps balance it out.

It helps create a particular tone for a movie that goes out of its way to spit on so many holiday traditions. Things are ugly for these characters. They’re miserable excuses for human beings, but they often find themselves in funny situations that they make more hilarious with their reactions. No matter how bad it gets, they find a way to make their devolving situations entertaining.

In an era were awful situations unfold in real time because of social media, it’s important to find humor wherever you can. There’s only so much we can do to change a situation. Willie makes that clear from the very beginning of “Bad Santa.” Sometimes, all you can do is just laugh at the absurdities and that’s exactly what this movie does.


I won’t claim that “Bad Santa” is the new standard for Christmas movies. I doubt it’s going to start the kinds of trends we’ve seen in other genres. However, the story it told and the dark humor it utilized struck a chord when it first came out. As the years have gone by, it keeps finding new ways to resonate with an emerging audience.

There will always be a place for “Home Alone” and the Grinch. However, I think for the current generation and all the others who have watched this world embrace new levels of absurdities, “Bad Santa” deserves a special place in our holiday traditions.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Sexy Gift Giving

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This is the season of gift giving and gift exchanges. Unless you’re an inherently miserable person or the basis of Billy Bob Thorton’s best movie, it’s a wonderful time of year. I’ve always loved the holidays. As a kid, it was fun because it meant getting toys and eating candy. As an adult, it’s fun for those same reasons, but there’s also festive sex appeal that goes with it.

There have been a few points in my life where I’ve been in a relationship during the holidays. Without giving away too many intimate details, I can safely say that the spirit of gift giving did plenty to raise both my holiday spirit and that of my significant other. Sharing in gifts may seem shallow and exceedingly commercial, but it still conveys a powerful sentiment beyond the season.

It shows, among other things, just how much you care. It shows that you’re willing to put in the time and effort. All functional relationships require that kind of commitment. The holidays, when done right, can celebrate that commitment. It can even be a sexy celebration. Sometimes, being a little naughty makes everything feel extra nice in ways that only adults can appreciate.

With Christmas fast approaching, I dedicate this Daily Sexy Musing to the kinkier, more mature side of gift-giving. There will always be a place for child-like fun during this time of year, but adults can have fun too. If they can squeeze the sexy kind of fun into the mix, then that just makes the season all the more special. Enjoy!

The snow is falling.

The tree is lit.

The presents are neatly wrapped.

For children, it is the most exciting time of the year. They all sleep restlessly, eager to play with their new toys. For us, however, we share a more intimate gift. It doesn’t always involve toys, but it evokes the same excitement.

Under the light of the tree and the smell of fresh cocoa, I give to you a simple gift. It’s small, neatly wrapped, and fits easily in the palm of your hand. What it lacks in size, it makes up for in sentiment. It has to because there’s no package big enough to contain the passion I feel for you.

I watch you open it.

I see your eyes light up with the joy of a thousand children.

I know then that Santa Clause himself just got upstaged.

You throw your arms around me. I embrace you without hesitation. Your touch carries the intensity of a spirit enchanted by something beyond any holiday. It burns brighter than any star, echoing with cheer beyond any season. No one day or month can possibly contain the love we share, but that only makes the moments more festive.

In that unique spirit, we celebrate. An exchange of goods becomes an exchange of passions. We defy the long nights and winter cold, shedding thick layers of clothes in favor of the heat we create together. Every act conveys the extent of our spirit. In the light of the holidays, it offers unique paths with which to journey.

With one gift, I put my love into a tangible form.

With one gift, I tell you more than I can ever put into words.

With one gift, I inspire a year’s worth of passion.

With one gift, I celebrate the love we share.

It need not be large or smell. It just has to convey the feelings we cherish. By embracing that passion, every day we share our love feels like Christmas.

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