Tag Archives: thrill-seeking

Why Women Find Ted Bundy Attractive

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Why do women find certain men attractive? Why does anyone find someone attractive? Those are not easy questions to answer and the answers vary from person to person. There are all sorts of complexities, quirks, and kinks that influence someone’s idea of what is attractive. Whether you’re gay, straight, or bisexual, it’s a complicated and often irrational process.

With that in mind, why would anyone in their right mind find Ted Bundy attractive? This isn’t a man with a few minor character flaws. This is a brutal, sadomasochistic murderer who confessed to killing 30 women and may have killed many more. Beyond his horrific crimes, Bundy was a narcissistic psychopath who seemed incapable of empathy and showed no remorse for his crimes.

Despite all this, and maybe even because of it, some women have expressed a genuine attraction to Ted Bundy. It’s not just that he managed to marry his girlfriend, Carole Ann Boone, while he was in prison on death row. He actually fathered a child with her during that time. Even after his confession and subsequent execution, there were still women who fawned over his charm and good looks.

This isn’t just from a few women with exceedingly poor tastes in men. In wake of a recent Netflix documentary on Bundy, Netflix had to issue a statement discouraging women from commenting on his looks. The implies that this isn’t just a product of trolling or off-hand comments. There are other forces at work here that reflect the eccentricities of sex appeal.

Those forces aren’t new. Women have been attracted to “bad boys” since the caveman days and there’s considerable research into why it evolved. Bad boys often provide something novel and different, which can be attractive in and of itself. Human beings are novelty-seeking creatures to begin with. Hooking up with a bad boy certainly qualifies as something different.

However, there’s quite a gap between a man who just thumbs his nose at parking tickets and a man who brutally butchers women. To call Ted Bundy a “bad boy” is to insult bad boys who attract women for the right reasons. However, the same forces are at work here and Bundy is hardly the first murderer to attract a following.

Like Bundy, Richard “The Nightstalker” Ramirez was a vicious killer who had his own legion of groupies for a time. Unlike Bundy, Ramirez didn’t even try to play innocent. He embraced his monstrous persona and that only seemed to attract women even more. Despite not having Bundy’s natural good looks, he had female fans who wrote him letters while he was on death row.

That level of attraction goes far beyond the typical appeal of a bad boy. Men like Bundy aren’t just bad. They’re genuinely scary to be around. The details of his crimes were on display for the public. Just reading over the descriptions should be enough to evoke fear and terror in any rational person with even a modicum of decency.

This is where some of the flawed wiring of the human brain kick in, at least with respect to sexual attraction. The misattribution of arousal in the human psyche is a well-documented phenomenon. When our brains get input about something dangerous, it evokes an arousal response. Sometimes, that arousal goes beyond fear.

There are times when our brains cannot discern between the arousal generated by danger and the arousal generated by something sexually appealing. The human brain, as an instrument, is hardly precise. Sometimes, it’s easy to associate something sexy with something dangerous. From our brain’s perspective, arousal from one isn’t that different from arousal by the other.

It’s part of what gives appeal to extreme thrill-seeking behaviors like skydiving, contact sports, and drug use. It’s not in spite of the danger that people seek those thrills. It’s because of it. The line between danger and aroused is so blurred that there’s no real difference. For women, a murderer like Ted Bundy is like skydiving with a faulty parachute.

In terms of danger/arousal, you can’t get much riskier than that. On top of that, men like Bundy are the kind of men that society tells women not to get with. They’re encouraged to find a man who is stable, gentle, compassionate, and sane. Those men may make great spouses, but they’re hardly dangerous. Being with them is never going to be as dangerous/excited as being with Ted Bundy.

This puts a forbidden fruit factor on top of the thrill-seeking factor. In terms of attraction, it’s a double dose of sex appeal that resonated with some women. Please note, however, that this appeal is not indicative of how women, in general, determine someone’s sex appeal. The chances are that most woman don’t find Ted Bundy attractive in the slightest because of his horrific crimes.

This issue isn’t going away and not just because there’s upcoming movie about Ted Bundy starring Zac Efron. If anything, it may become more pronounced as gender politics demonize men and masculinity, as a whole. When men have to be so careful in conducting themselves to avoid accusations of misogyny, they’ll have a hard time being dangerous. That’ll only make men like Ted Bundy stand out even more.

Despite all these factors, it’s still worth belaboring that Ted Bundy was a monster. Even though I tend to believe people are inherently good, Bundy is an example of just how evil a person can be. He deserves nothing but condemnation. The fact that there are women attracted to him is a symptom of how erratic our ideas about sex appeal are. Until danger loses its appeal, there will always be women who find Ted Bundy attractive.

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Filed under gender issues, human nature, psychology, romance, sex in society, sexuality, women's issues

Daily Sexy Musings: Danger, Excitement, And Romance

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The following is a sexy musing inspired by the effects of danger and thrill-seeking. It’s a real psychological phenomenon, danger and excitement leading to raw arousal. It’s called “Misattribution of Arousal” and it’s kind of what it sounds like. It’s when the brain associates an aroused state with something other than the actual source.

In other words, the line between feeling scared and horny tend to blur. We’re afraid, but we’re also aroused. We’re in danger, but we’re also excited. That tends to cause all sorts of strange and wonderful feelings. It’s part of why women like bad boys and why men like naughty girls. However, me being the romantic I am, I think the link between danger, excitement, and romance runs much deeper, as you’ll see. Enjoy!

I look at you from afar. In an instant, I no longer feel safe and certain. In you, I suddenly become vulnerable. Like being naked in a blizzard, I feel so exposed. It’s dangerous, but I’m not scared. I’m only uncertain.

Then, I take a step closer. Suddenly, fear strikes me harder. I’m more than just vulnerable. I feel completely naked, exposed to elements and unseen forces that bombard me from every angle. I don’t know what it is. I can’t hope to protect myself from it. At the same time, though, I don’t want to.

Closer and closer, I see you in all your glory. Your eyes finally meet mine. At that moment, I’m paralyzed. I cannot move. I forget out to breath. I’m drowning in an ocean of awe. With just a single glance, you do something to me that defies logic.

Who I am suddenly changes.

How I see the world suddenly evolves.

The life I’ve lived becomes secondary to the life I now seek.

It’s overwhelming. It’s downright dangerous, knowing my life will never be the same. My heat races faster. I feel like I just jumped from a plane without a parachute. I’m falling through cold, unforgiving winds. There’s nothing that will stop me from falling to the center of the Earth.

Then, you walk up to me and smile.

Just like that, you catch me. I am no longer falling. Now, I am in your arms and you’re in mine. It’s like we’re hanging from a cliff, clinging to each other for dear life. Below us is a vast abyss. Above us is layer of storm clouds, thunder and lightning trying to tear us apart.

It’s no use, though. Everything around us is so dangerous. In your presence, though, I fear none of it. I only fear letting go. You are now my lifeline. You are my anchor in a stormy sea. Every second I’m with you feels like test of will and endurance. It’s like a ride without end and you are my only security.

It still scares me.

It still overwhelms me.

It still thrills me to no end.

Finally, you greet me. I hear your voice. I touch your hand. Through my fear and dread, I greet you. I know then that before the night is done, we will be together. We will know each other, feel each other, and make love to each other in every meaningful way. Secure in that knowledge, I no longer feel fear. There is only the thrill of finding you and following you into the danger.

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