Tag Archives: Geek Culture

Daily Sexy Musing: Geeky Sex Appeal

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I freely admit it. I’m a comic book geek/superhero nerd/comic fanboy/whatever colorful term you want to give it. I love comic books, sci-fi, cartoons, and everything else that Bill Maher finds insufferable. I don’t try to hide it. I’ve written about it many, many times on this site and I plan to write much more in the future.

I say this knowing that geeks like me aren’t known for their sex appeal. If anything, geeks are often defined by a lack of sex appeal. It’s a stereotype that got overplayed in 1980s teen comedies, but continues to linger in popular perceptions of nerd culture. Even though there are objectively sexy people who identify as geeks, many of these stereotypes persist.

Naturally, I resent these attitudes. I believe geeks can have a sexy side and not just with respect to sexy cos-play. That sexy side has real appeal that brings people together. I know this because I met my college girlfriend through a shared love of comics. She definitely had a sexy side too and being a geek actually helped.

The culture has shifted significantly in recent years. Geeks aren’t just mainstream. They’re a huge market. The release of “Avengers Endgame” and the box office records it’s breaking is proof of that. You don’t become that mainstream without some level of sex appeal. It may not be obvious, but it’s definitely there.

As geeks like me bask in the awesome of movies like “Avengers Endgame,” I think the time is right to celebrate that sex appeal. For all the geeks, nerds, fanboys, and fangirls out there whose sex appeal is so under-appreciated, this Daily Sexy Musing is for you.

Truth, justice, and the American Way.

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far way.

Higher, further, faster.

These are the words ingrained in our memories, connected to a passion that transcends their core meaning. To some, they’re just concepts and phrases. For us, they evoke images of capes, costumes, heroes, and heroines. Our adult minds connect with our childlike spirit. Together, they form an identity and a world that we embrace.

Through comic books, movies, TV shows, and games, we explore that world on our own accord. As kids, it enchanted us. As adults, it inspires us. In this world, we dare to dream of greater things and higher ideals. The impossible is possible and the improbable is inevitable. Through will and imagination, the shackles of reality crack.

A nerd with a passion.

A geek with a hobby.

A fan with a purpose.

A soul with a spark.

Within us is a capacity for something great. On our own, we gladly lose ourselves in our dreams. With those who share our dreams, the greatness compounds, as does the passion. Whereas one dedicated soul can achieve plenty. Two can create something beyond imagination.

Movies become an event.

Books become an entire universe.

Games become an ever-expanding adventure.

Fanciful thoughts become intimate passions. My energy supplements yours and your energy only compounds mine. Discussions become heated and insight becomes connection. What begins as an exploration becomes a shared journey. I let you into your world and you let me into mine.

I am your geek.

You are my nerd.

We share a great passion.

We are our greatest heroes.

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Five Comic Books I Would Recommend To Bill Maher

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I love comic books.

I love superhero movies.

I love geek culture and actively participate in it.

I also understand that there are people who don’t share those passions. Some may even see them as childish and foolish. That’s perfectly fine. It doesn’t make them a bad person, by default. It doesn’t even mean I can’t get along with them or agree with them on other issues.

The fact I have to make that disclaimer only makes the current state of affairs more frustrating. I feel it’s more necessary now because I’m about to address a topic has evoked all the wrong emotions for all the wrong reasons. Normally, my first instinct is to avoid such controversy, but since it involves superhero comics, I feel inclined to respond.

It started late last year with a blog post by Bill Maher, a late night talk show host for the long-running HBO series, “Real Time With Bill Maher.” That blog post came shortly after the death of Stan Lee and, without going too heavily into details, attacked the culture behind comic books and superhero media.

Many took that post as an insult to the legacy of Stan Lee. Having read that post multiple times, I really didn’t get that sense. I won’t deny that I took some offense to it, but I’ve read far more offensive things in the comments section of YouTube videos. The fact that it got such a visceral reaction only skewed the conversation even more.

Then, this past week on his show, Mr. Maher finally addressed the issue again in the closing commentary on his show. If you haven’t seen it, here it is.

The long and short of it is his commentary had less to do with Stan Lee and more to do with people who think comic books warrant serious cultural weight. He goes onto bemoan how people cling to the things they loved as kids as a way of avoiding the adult world. It’s less an indictment on people who like comics and more a criticism of people who whine about adulting, in general.

To some extent, I understand his criticism. There are people in this world who try to avoid adult responsibilities at every turn. They don’t want to deal with the harshness of the real world and cling to fantasies about having superpowers that render those problems moot. Even as someone who loves superhero comics and movies, I think that’s an issue for some people.

For most people though, it’s just fun. Mr. Maher seems to completely overlook that. I don’t care how old you get. Having fun is fun. Comics are a lot of fun to read, follow, and enjoy. The more “serious” pieces of literature that he recommends in his commentary probably have plenty of merit, but they’re not nearly as fun.

The idea that he finds superhero media as childish is understandable. Bill Maher is over 60 years old. For most of his life, comic books and superheroes have been for children. It’s only within the last 30 years that they’ve matured to a point where they appeal to all ages, so much so that they’ve raked in over $20 billion at the box office. You don’t make that much money on childish things.

In addition to box office billions, some comics have gained serious acclaim. A select few have even been recognized as some of the greatest literary works in the past 100 years. I doubt Mr. Maher is aware of this because most of these amazing works happened after he became an adult. I imagine that if you were to ask most people his age, they would agree that comics shouldn’t be considered serious literature.

I respectfully disagree with that notion and I know many others disagree as well. That said, I doubt anyone will ever convince Mr. Maher that he’s wrong. He has made his politics very clear on many occasions and I don’t doubt he’ll say other offensive things in the future.

At the very least, I can offer Mr. Maher some perspective. I believe that, if he were to give comics a chance, he would see their literary value. He may still think they’re childish, but I think he would have a greater appreciation for the medium, if only because he sees how it has evolved since he was a kid.

What follows are five comics that I would personally recommend to Mr. Maher. I feel these books would help show just how salient comics can be in terms of society, politics, and art. While I doubt he’ll give them a chance, I hope others who share his sentiments take a moment to see why comic books and superhero media have become such an integral part of our culture.


Watchmen

This is an easy choice and not just because Watchmen routinely ranks near the top as on of the greatest comic books of all time. This seminal work by Alan Moore and David Gibbons actually speaks to the same criticisms that Mr. Maher levied against superheroes. Watchmen is, at its heart, the ultimate deconstruction of the entire concept of superheroes.

This story isn’t just about heroes fighting villains or heroes fighting other heroes. Watchmen is a story with deep, philosophical overtones about what it means to wield power and make peace in a chaotic world. It casts a harsh light on the dangers of relying on superheroes or super-powered beings to solve big problems on the global stage. It’s a sentiment that Mr. Maher himself has made on more than one occasion.

Being a political person, I believe Mr. Maher would find a lot to enjoy about the world of Watchmen. Beyond the art and the complexities of the story, it has a message that goes beyond good guys fighting bad guys.

In many respects, Watchmen was the comic that broke all the rules and ushered the medium into a new era. It proved that a comic could make serious contributions to the world of literature. Between its unique place in the history of comics and the awards it received, I think Watchmen can prove to Mr. Maher that comics can be great works of art that tell relevant messages for the real world.


Sandman

This is another series that routinely gets mentioned in discussions surrounding the greatest comics of all time. Like Watchmen, Sandman pushed the limits on what a comic book could be. It’s not a standard superhero comic. It’s not about heroes searching for some ominous glowing object, which is something Mr. Maher pointed out in his criticism. Sandman is deeper than that.

The writer of Sandman, Neil Gaiman, dared to craft a more mature fantasy. This is a world where mythological figures like Morpheus, Lucifer, and even characters from the bible interact with one another in a complex narrative that provides insight into spirituality, religion, and philosophy.

I believe that insight would appeal to Mr. Maher more than most and not just because he’s a self-admitted stoner. Say what you will about him, but he’s a very intelligent man who went to an Ivy League school. He also majored in English, which I think would make Sandman that much more appealing to him.

The story in Sandman is not something most children will understand or appreciate. Even most adults may struggle to make sense of the various themes that Gaiman explores throughout the book. It’s a powerful story, but one that works best in the medium of comics. I think if Mr. Maher gave Sandman a chance, he would see that.


X-men: God Loves, Man Kills

Even though Mr. Maher singled out superheroes as the most childish element of comics, I believe there are still a select few that would still appeal to him, if only because of his political leanings. Mr. Maher has always identified as a liberal and routinely espouses the value of liberal principles. He grew up watching the civil rights movement unfold and it has clearly had an impact on him.

That’s exactly why a comic like X-men: God Loves, Man Kills would resonate with him. Even though it follows many common superhero themes, this classic X-men story by legendary X-men writer, Chris Claremont, goes much further in linking the struggle of the X-men with that of civil rights.

This story is less about the X-men fighting killer robots and more about confronting the depths of human bigotry. In addition to providing the inspiration for “X2,” it explores a kind of bigotry that feels like it was ripped from the real world. It even throws religion into the mix with the introduction of Reverend William Stryker, a man who has drawn more than a few comparisons with Vice President Mike Pence.

Mr. Maher will probably notice those parallels more than most. He has made no secret of his disdain for organized religion and the people who use it to justify their bigotry. X-men: God Loves, Man Kills tells a story of just how dangerous that kind of religiously-motivated bigotry can get. Even though it’s still a superhero story, it doesn’t hide from the real-world parallels.

Good literature, whether it’s a comic book or a novel, often reflects the controversies of its time. The X-men were created right at the onset of the Civil Rights Movement. Stan Lee has gone on record as saying that elements of the X-men were inspired by real life heroes of the Civil Rights Movement. As both a proud liberal and a critic of religion, Mr. Maher will find plenty to like about this classic X-men story.


All-Star Superman

This story might be the toughest sell for Mr. Maher. However, I think if any comic can demonstrate the value of superheroes, it’s All-Star Superman. This love letter to Superman and all the fanciful themes surrounding him is a celebration of the ultimate hero. Even if Mr. Maher thinks idolizing heroes is dangerous, I think even he’ll appreciate why Superman is such an icon after 80 years.

What makes All-Star Superman special isn’t in how it depicts the Man of Steel at his best. It’s not just about him saving the day, defeating Lex Luthor, and winning the love of Lois Lane. More than anything else, the story that Grant Morrison and Frank Quietly tell demonstrates just how much Superman inspires those around him.

Throughout the series, there are many great moments that are full of heart, hope, and compassion. Some of it is cartoonishly over-the-top, but it never feels corny. There’s never a point where Superman takes a moment to tell a bunch of kids to eat their vegetables and stay in school. It doesn’t try to make Superman someone he’s not. He’s the ultimate paragon of virtue and this series just runs with that.

To further raise the stakes, this version of Superman is living on borrowed time. As powerful as he is, he has saved the day one time too many. He basically has to do what he can with what little time he has left to make the world a better place. It’s an endeavor that even Mr. Maher can appreciate.

More than once, Mr. Maher has tried to inspire others to be better. Even if his efforts are politically motivated, the will to inspire is something he’s always shown, going back to his days on “Politically Incorrect.” Even if he thinks Superman comics are for kids, he can still appreciate Superman’s efforts to inspire the good in others.


Y: The Last Man

This is another acclaimed comic series that doesn’t rely on superheroes, fancy costumes, or superpowers. At a time when gender politics are such a hot topic, a series like Y: The Last Man is more relevant than ever. This beloved comic by Brian K. Vaughan and Pia Guerra takes issues surrounding gender to an apocalyptic extreme.

As someone who has routinely criticized how the debate surrounding feminism and gender has evolved, I believe Mr. Maher will find a lot to like about Y: The Last Man. This is a story that puts men and women in the ultimate bind. One day, without warning, every creature on Earth with a Y chromosome just keels over and dies. Only one man, Yorick Brown, and his pet monkey, Ampersand, survive.

The story the follows is both a fight for survival and a critical insight into what happens when gender dynamics operate in extremes. The world that Vaughan and Guerra show just how much men and women rely on one another without realizing it. When one is completely removed from the equation, it pushes people beyond the brink.

At the same time, it shows just how resilient people can be in terrible situations. The will to survive knows no gender. It can bring out the best and the worst in someone, but the best is what usually keeps driving us. Mr. Maher has often spoken urgently about issues like climate change. The apocalyptic setting of Y: The Last Man shows why that urgency is necessary.


Again, I don’t expect Mr. Maher to change his mind on much. He has made it abundantly clear in the past that he is very set in his ways. However, if he is genuinely open to seeing the merits of comic books, these titles should help. Comic books may have been for kids when he was a kid. They have since become so much more and their legacy, like that of Stan Lee’s, will continue for generations to come.

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Kamala Khan Vs. America Chavez: How To Succeed (And Fail) With Female Superheroes

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It shouldn’t be that difficult or controversial to create compelling female superheroes. In a perfect world, it would be no different than creating quality male heroes. As long as they’re compelling, enjoyable, and foster great stories, that should be enough.

Sadly, we don’t live in a perfect world. You could even argue it has become even worse in recent years for female superheroes because they’ve become entwined with identity politics. It’s no longer sufficient for a female hero to just be likable and interesting. They have to take part in the never-ending whining contest that dominates outrage culture.

As a lifelong fan of superhero comics, this really frustrates me. I get that comics, like any medium, often reflect the issues of the time. That’s not new and comics have taken positions in those issues. Iconic stories have been crafted around them. The current situation with female superheroes, however, is less a reflection of the times and more a liability.

To illustrate this point, I’d like to single out two female superheroes, Kamala “Ms. Marvel” Khan and America “Miss America” Chavez. Both characters were created within the past 10 years. They’ve also been cited as prominent figures in the recent push for diversity within comics that has caused a lot of uproar or all the wrong reasons.

What sets them apart is that one character, Kamala Khan, has become a success story by most measures. Since her debut issue in February 2014, she has become popular and beloved. She has received and won numerous accolades and her graphic novels have made it onto the New York Times Best Sellers list. I consider myself a fan of hers. She’s one of my favorite female heroes.

On the other end of that spectrum is America Chavez. She debuted in 2011 and went onto have her own ongoing series. Unlike Kamala, though, her series received no accolades, sold poorly, and did nothing to endear her to fans of superhero comics. She has had opportunities to establish herself as a quality female hero. With few exceptions, she has failed at every turn.

These two characters represent a stark dichotomy in the current world of female superheroes. One provides a template for success. The other is a cautionary tale of how not to create a compelling female superhero in the current climate. It’s pretty striking how two characters created within a similar cultural environment can go in such wildly different directions. However, that difference also carries with it plenty of lessons.

To be fair to the medium I love, creating female superheroes today is very different compared to past decades. If Wonder Woman, Storm, Carol Danvers, or Supergirl were created today, they wouldn’t have the same impact. They came out at different times and under different circumstances. Those circumstances played a key role in how they became iconic.

Great female superheroes, and quality female characters in general, have traits that allow them to resonate in any era. However, the timing and influences have to be right for them to carve a place in popular culture. Kamala Khan and America Chavez dealt with similar circumstances when they debuted. That makes them a good case study in how female superheroes can succeed and fail.


Why Kamala Khan Succeeded

I still remember the day I read Ms. Marvel #1. I hadn’t been planning to buy it. I remember clearly that it was a light week, in terms of comics. I happened to have a few extra bucks to spend. I had heard that there was going to be a new Ms. Marvel. Having been a fan of Carol Danvers, I decided to check it out.

I’m glad I did because that one fateful issue made me a Kamala Kahn fan for years to come. The story it told struck all the right chords. It presented a character who felt real, genuine, and relatable. The fact that she was a girl, a Muslim, and the daughter of Pakistani immigrants was secondary. She still felt like a character that I could be friends with if she were real.

The reasons why Kamala was so endearing had little to do with how many diversity points she scored and everything to do with how the writer, G. Willow Wilson, went about developing her. She spent almost the entire first issue just revealing who Kamala was and what sort of life she had. We learn about her family, her friends, her hopes, her dreams, and even her favorite hobbies.

She quickly becomes more than just another teenage character. She’s a self-professed fangirl who writes fan fiction, plays MMO games, and loves gyros. Wilson approached developing Kamala the same way Stan Lee approached developing Peter Parker. She developed the personality before turning them into a superhero.

When Kamala finally does get her powers, Wilson establishes a solid reason for why she’s a hero. Just getting powers isn’t enough. Unlike Peter Parker, however, she doesn’t need a loved one to die. Being a fan of superheroes and having decent parents puts her in a position to make that choice without anyone dying. That, alone, makes her worthy of admiration.

From that point forward, it’s easy to root for Kamala. She carries herself as someone you want to root for. She personifies how fans of superhero comics are inspired by their heroes. Her having a chance to be a hero like the ones she idolizes isn’t just endearing. It’s special. That’s why she succeeds and why it’s very likely we’ll see her enter the Marvel Cinematic Universe at some point.


Why America Chavez Failed

Take everything I just said about why Kamala Khan works and why she’s so lovable. Then, reverse it completely. That’s basically who America Chavez is and why she’s more a joke than a success.

On paper, America has a lot going for her. She’s not just another generic female hero. She’s Latina, she’s a lesbian, and she comes from a very different world, literally and figuratively. In terms of diversity points, she checks as many boxes as Kamala. She has her own unique style and she even uses a familiar moniker that has been successfully used by others.

Beyond those traits, however, there’s nothing about her character or her story that will get superhero fans cheering. She’s not relatable like Peter Parker or Kamala Khan. She’s from a place called Utopian Parallel, which is exactly as boring as it sounds. Her world was threatened with destruction, but her parents sacrificed themselves to save it. They’re the only respectable heroes in her story.

America, for reasons that are poorly told and poorly developed, decides to prove that she’s as good a hero as her parents. Her world is a utopia. It doesn’t need her. As a result, she just looks for a world that needs heroes and happens to choose one that has a massive glut of them. Already, her judgment is questionable.

If you’re expecting me to explain the depths of why she’s a hero and how she distinguishes herself, I’m sorry to disappoint. That’s the extent of her heroic journey. She doesn’t answer the hero’s call as much as she looks for an excuse. She doesn’t work her way into the world of heroism. She just throws herself into it and skips the part that makes it a meaningful story.

It certainly doesn’t help that she’s grossly overpowered in a way that makes every battle feel boring. Unlike other powerful characters, including Superman or Captain Marvel, there’s no real intrigue to her abilities. Whereas Kamala Khan and Peter Parker struggle, seeing their powers as burdens at times, America Chavez rarely strains herself. When she does, it feels forced and contrived.

On top of all that, America never comes off as a likable person. In nearly every scene she’s in, she carries herself with an in-your-face, screw-you, I’m-better-than-everyone attitude that isn’t the least bit endearing. She basically tries too hard to be a badass female hero, but forgets the part where heroes are actually supposed to be admirable.

It’s not enough to just punch a Nazi, which she does at one point. Being a hero means embodying ideals that go beyond gender politics. America Chavez’s story is so contrived, at times, that it feels like the most shameless kind of pandering. It’s why those who bemoan Marvel’s diversity push often cite America Chavez as the personification of everything wrong with that effort. Sadly, she gives them plenty to work with.


Lessons For The Future

I have high hopes for Ms. Marvel. I even hope that, at some point, America Chavez becomes a solid character. There’s plenty of room for new characters that resonate with everyone, regardless of gender, race, creed, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. It doesn’t have to come at the cost of established characters, either. Heroes can be anyone. That’s what makes them icons.

Now, I understand that there are plenty of people out there who don’t like Kamala. I don’t deny that she has her flaws and she’s had some pretty unflattering moments. I also understand that America Chavez has her share of fans who think I’m not being fair to her. I don’t claim that my take on her is definitive.

I singled these two characters out because I believe they embody the struggle facing female superheroes in the existing cultural climate. Like any creative endeavor, there is a right and wrong way to go about it. Kamala Khan and America Chavez provide important lessons on what to do and what to avoid. They include, but aren’t restricted to, the following.

Lesson #1: Build the character before the hero

Lesson #2: Appeal to everyone and not just a select few

Lesson #3: Make their struggle feel real and genuine

Lesson #4: Give the character a distinct and endearing voice

Lesson #5: Don’t just rely on punching Nazis

There are many other lessons to be learned from characters like Kamala Khan and America Chavez. Some of those lessons have to be learned the hard way, but they’re worth learning. More quality female superheroes can only help the genre, as a whole. Superheroes, by definition, are supposed to inspire others to be better. That inspiration need not be restricted to gender, race, or any other distinction.

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Filed under censorship, Comic Books, Jack Fisher, Superheroes, gender issues, media issues, political correctness, sex in media, superhero comics, superhero movies, women's issues

On My Way To New York Comic Con 2018!

Today, there’s no need for sexy musings.

Today, there’s no time for sexy stories.

Today is all about me heading to the New York Comic Con! I’ve documented my experiences before. I’ve every intention of doing the same here. Every year seems to bring a new experience, a new spectacle, and a new story to tell. Say what you will about nerd culture and superhero media. It’s a hell of an experience and one that fans like me deeply cherish.

I hope to post various updates throughout the day. If I encounter anything especially exciting or sexy, I’ll be sure to document it here. For now, just know that I am on my way to the Jacob Javits center in New York City where I hope to join those looking to share the experience.

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Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights, superhero comics, superhero movies, television, video games, Wonder Woman, X-men

Joss Whedon: Feminist Hypocrite Or All Too Human?

Happier times: Architect and producer Cole claims that Whedon cheated on her multiple times through their 16 year marriage in her piece for The Wrap; (pictured 2010)

If you’ve been following this blog in any capacity, or even the past few months, you’ve probably picked up on a number of themes. If you’re new and just stumbled across this blog because you noticed how much it talks about boobs, sex robots, and Deadpool, then here’s a quick rundown of those themes.

  • Every human being is at the mercy of their brain wiring to a large extent
  • Our brain wiring still assumes that we’re a bunch of cavemen hunting and foraging in the savanna
  • Our brains and body structure have two primary purposes, survival and reproduction
  • Any function other than survival and reproduction is secondary
  • Our overall biology is a blunt instrument that is nearly incapable of being precise, specific, or consistent
  • People will make endless excuses to justify actions they think were more logical than they actually are
  • Sex robots are awesome and cannot come soon enough

For this post, which highlights a major story that broke recently, it’ll cover almost all of those themes, minus the sex robots. It’s also a story that’s still developing so, in all likelihood, the details are bound to change at some point.

 

That tends to happen a lot when the story involves divorce, celebrities, and potential hypocrisy on a level that even our celebrity-loving culture can’t tolerate. I’ve made an issue of that kind of hypocrisy before when sex icon and walking male fantasy Pamela Anderson came out against porn, despite having become rich and famous from it. This, however, involves a different kind of hypocrisy.

This brings me Joss Whedon, whose life seems to have taken a few tumbles since it peaked while directing “The Avengers.” It’s not just that he never got “Firefly” un-cancelled or did not do a good job of handling the less-than-flattering controversy surrounding “Avengers: Age of Ultron.” His personal life is also suffering.

Lately, Whedon has been going through a long, tedious divorce with his wife, Kai Cole. Divorce is always rough, even when you’re as celebrated and successful as Joss Whedon. Celebrity couples endure it with distressing frequency, as Chris Pratt and Anna Faris recently learned. However, Whedon’s divorce has incurred another story with even larger implications.

Granted, it doesn’t take much to make divorce even more painful, especially when you have the resources of a celebrity. This might be one case where the pain goes beyond the relationship, revealing something about ourselves that’s as impactful as any billion-dollar movie.

That pain came in the form of a letter that Kai Cole penned about her husband for The Wrap. This is not just an angry rant from a bitter ex-wife, although that’s definitely a part of it. This letter potentially reveals a level of hypocrisy that may undermine our ability to trust any male celebrity who claims to be an ardent feminist.

While I’ve articulated my doubts about those kinds of figures before, Ms. Cole’s article is basically a perfect storm, of sorts. That’s because, until this letter, Joss Whedon had a reputation as being the quintessential male feminist in Hollywood geek culture.

He did plenty to earn that reputation too by creating shows like “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “Dollhouse,” and the aforementioned “Firefly.” He even wrote comics like Astonishing X-men. The man had a long list of accomplishments. The fact he did so much under the feminist label says a lot about him.

Then, this letter comes along that basically says Whedon’s feminist credentials are built on a lie. It’s a major revelation that may not have surprised some, but it’s still pretty jarring for those who held Whedon as the gold standard for male feminism.

For some context, here are some of the things his ex-wife said about those lies. I’ll give die-hard Buffy fans a moment to brace themselves.

There were times in our relationship that I was uncomfortable with the attention Joss paid other women. He always had a lot of female friends, but he told me it was because his mother raised him as a feminist, so he just liked women better. He said he admired and respected females, he didn’t lust after them. I believed him and trusted him. On the set of “Buffy,” Joss decided to have his first secret affair.

Fifteen years later, when he was done with our marriage and finally ready to tell the truth, he wrote me, “When I was running ‘Buffy,’ I was surrounded by beautiful, needy, aggressive young women. It felt like I had a disease, like something from a Greek myth. Suddenly I am a powerful producer and the world is laid out at my feet and I can’t touch it.” But he did touch it. He said he understood, “I would have to lie — or conceal some part of the truth — for the rest of my life,” but he did it anyway, hoping that first affair, “would be ENOUGH, that THEN we could move on and outlast it.”

Joss admitted that for the next decade and a half, he hid multiple affairs and a number of inappropriate emotional ones that he had with his actresses, co-workers, fans and friends, while he stayed married to me. He wrote me a letter when our marriage was falling apart, but I still didn’t know the whole truth, and said, “I’ve never loved anyone or wanted to be with anyone in any real or long-term way except for you ever. And I love our life. I love how you are, how we are, who you are and what we’ve done both separately and together, how much fun we have…” He wanted it all; he didn’t want to choose, so he accepted the duality as a part of his life.

Now before I say anything else about this issue or Ms. Cole’s letter, I need to make one thing clear. This letter is just one side of the story. As of this post, Joss Whedon and his people have not commented on this letter. That could change between now and the second after I publish this post.

Also, keep in mind that the person who wrote this letter is an ex-wife who probably isn’t feeling too happy with her former husband. She has reason and incentive, due to his wealth and status, to undermine his reputation. That’s usually all anyone needs to shrug off details, context, and facts.

For that reason, and others I don’t have time to get into, it’s unreasonable to assume that every word of Ms. Cole’s letter is completely true. It’s also just as unreasonable to assume that every word is false. Even if she is bitter, there may very well be elements of truth behind her claims. We’ve seen how hard it is to expose the hard truth of celebrities.

For the sake of exploring the implications, here, let’s assume that at least part of Ms. Cole’s letter is true. Since they are divorcing, it’s entirely plausible that Whedon was not entirely faithful during their marriage.

He’s a big name Hollywood director, armed with obscene amounts of money and influence. If you think for a second that beautiful women aren’t going to throw themselves at someone like that, then I suggest you watch some old Motley Crue music videos. Feminist or not, people are attracted to wealth and power. How else do you explain Mick Jagger having kids with women more than half his age?

I think it’s a near certainty that, at some point in his career, a beautiful young woman has offered herself to Joss Whedon in ways that would make Anastasia Steele blush. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if some just showed up naked at his trailer and offered a guided tour of their vaginas. The only uncertainty is the extent to which Mr. Whedon accepted these offers.

Even if he accepted just one and never did it again, that would still be a major blow to his feminist credentials. Think of it from the perspective of the feminist characters that Mr. Whedon usually champions. What he did would be the antithesis of the narratives he tried to forge with shows like “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Instead, it would basically be the same narrative of at least half of every porno ever made.

In that story, he’s anything but the feminist he claims to be. He’s a powerful man who uses his power and wealth to get sex from the kinds of eager young women who would fail the Bechtal Test on every level. It doesn’t matter that these women willingly offered sex. It still gives the impression that he’s a powerful man who’s using his position to get the kind of sex usually reserved for the villains in a “Mad Max” movie.

According to the letter, Ms. Cole was not an absent force in his life so it wasn’t like she was never around. She makes clear that she helped him with his career. She even contributed in some ways. However, those contributions didn’t stop Whedon from taking advantages of the sexy opportunities that presented themselves, often quite literally.

Whatever the extent of Whedon’s infidelity, if true, it still begs one important question. Does what he did make him a hypocrite in the eyes of feminism? Well, I would argue that it does, but to a very limited extent.

What he did was not very feminist. In fact, it was about as progressive as the setting of “Mad Men.” He plays directly into the narratives he claims to resent. However, he didn’t actively seek that narrative. It sought him. He’s a man. Feminist or not, when beautiful women throw themselves at you, that caveman brain of yours is going to take notice.

In Ms. Cole’s letter, she quoted Mr. Whedon offering an excuse for his behavior. Given what I’ve said about excuses, certain details should be fairly obvious.

When I was running ‘Buffy,’ I was surrounded by beautiful, needy, aggressive young women. It felt like I had a disease, like something from a Greek myth. Suddenly I am a powerful producer and the world is laid out at my feet and I can’t touch it.

That bold portion was my doing. Read it over a few times and think about what he’s saying. Mr. Whedon is implying that the concept of being surrounded by beautiful women wanting to throw themselves at you and feeling inclined to accept their eager offers isn’t just antithetical to feminism. It’s a disease.

That creates a couple of problems, both for his feminist narrative and his depleted excuse bank. One, it implies that, by being a disease, there’s some outside force responsible for his behavior and he’s somehow not responsible. Two, it also implies that a man wanting to enjoy the sexual opportunities that come his way is somehow inherently wrong.

Both of those problems fail miserably within the context of caveman logic and simple human nature. In fact, it even fails within the context of the natural biology of life that prioritizes survival and reproduction. Mr. Whedon did more than enough to acquire abundant resources for survival. Then, opportunities to reproduce follow and nearly every law of nature makes him inclined to use those opportunities.

In that sense, Mr. Whedon is not a hypocrite, but he is misguided in his understanding of sexual dynamics. I don’t deny that he sees himself as a pro-feminist person. However, I think that’s such a huge part of his identity that he’s willing to make more excuses than most to protect it. It’s really no different than what happened with Ted Haggard.

If Joss Whedon weren’t so closely associated with feminism, then the revelation that he might have cheated on his wife probably wouldn’t be news. He would just be another powerful man in Hollywood who enjoyed the fruits of being rich and famous. However, it’s his excuses, as Ms. Cole describes them, that are most telling.

It also reflects the distressing flaws in the kinds of sex-negative feminism that pervade certain parts of Hollywood and mass media. It paints certain sexual dynamics between gender, which are entirely logical within the context of biology, and paints them as flawed.

Now, I don’t deny that the human body has its flaws. Any man who has been kicked in the balls will attest to that. However, attempting to subvert those flaws never ends well. Just ask anyone who has survived gay conversion therapy. Any man or women who thought Mr. Whedon could subvert those same forces in the name of feminism is living in a fantasy world every bit as flawed as “Dollhouse.”

So while I don’t think it’s right to call Mr. Whedon a total hypocrite, I do think his actions, if true, reflect poorly on the principles he’s preached. It also reflects poorly on the brand of feminism that insists that certain male inclinations are inherently wrong. Mr. Whedon may be a great director and a less-than-perfect husband, but he’s still a man at the end of the day. If we acknowledge that, then we don’t need as many excuses.

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Filed under Celebrities and Celebrity Culture, Current Events, Reasons and Excuses

Las Vegas Comic Con 2017: Tips, Tricks, And Elvis

I’ve made no secret of it. I love Las Vegas. I love comic books. So when something comes along that combines them both, I just have to talk about it. That something is called “Amazing Comic Con” and it’s taking place from June 23rd to June 25th, 2017 at the Las Vegas Convention Center in the heart of Las Vegas. There is literally nothing about that last sentence that doesn’t appeal to me.

It’s rare you find two things you love merged into one. Sure, you can dip donuts in hot sauce while receiving a massage from Jennifer Lawrence, but the opportunities for that sort of convergence are rare. Mixing Las Vegas and comic books just feels like chocolate and peanut butter. It’s one of those potent combinations that just feels right.

Now, I’ve gone to multiple comic cons in various cities. Some are small. Some, like the New York Comic Con, are among the biggest in the industry. If you’re new to cons, scenes like New York can be pretty overwhelming and I’m not just talking about the insane work people put into their costumes.

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That’s not Photoshopped by the way. That’s real. That’s the kind of awesome stuff you’ll see at a comic convention. That makes a scene like Las Vegas, where it’s not unusual to see Elvis impersonators and men dressed as pirates walking the street, a perfect combination. So if you love comics and Las Vegas, this is quite possibly the best event for you that doesn’t involve free donuts.

Amazing Comic Con” might not be on the same level as New York, just yet, but it still has all the features that make conventions great. There are artists, vendors, cos-players, and celebrity guests. Those names include the likes of Stan “The Man” Lee, Adam “Batman” West, Ray “Darth Maul” Park, and Rob “I Created Deadpool, Bitches!” Liefeld. If you can’t get excited about at least one of those names, then you’re just being difficult.

That said, it’s not just enough for me to encourage you to check out “Amazing Comic Con.” If neither Las Vegas nor comic conventions appeal to you, then chances are you’ve stumbled onto this blog by mistake and for that, I apologize. If, however, those things get your blood flowing in all the right directions to all the right body parts, I’d like to help.

Just getting there is the easy part. Las Vegas is literally an oasis of high-end resorts, full of every possible amenity meant to make you want to stay. There are any number of discount flights and vacation packages available, which you can find right here. Las Vegas wants you to be there. They’ve gone out of their way to make it as easy as possible.

Once you’re there, though, that’s when the real challenge starts. There’s so much to see and do in Las Vegas. There’s so much to see and do at a comic book convention. The human brain may or may not be equipped to handle so much spectacle, but that never stopped anyone from enjoying it as much as humanly possible.

So in the interest of encouraging everybody to go more comic cons and enjoy the sexy spectacle that is Las Vegas, here are a few tips on having an awesome comic con experience. Some of this may sound like common sense, but trust me. When you’re surrounded by comics, gambling, and beautiful women offering you free alcohol, you can’t expect to think straight. So here’s how to make the experience as awesome as it should be.


Tip #1: Arrive An Hour Early (But Not Much Earlier)

It’s always good to be proactive, but like bacon grease and ice cream, you can overdo it. In my experience, arriving an hour early, but not any earlier, works best. You won’t be at the front of the line, but you won’t be stuck at the back either.

If you arrive too early, you’ll get in first, but you won’t get much else. You’ll just be stuck standing around for hours on end, worried about losing your place in line. Odin help you if you have to go to the bathroom at any point. Comic cons are not like standing in line for a blockbuster movie. They’re in big, spacious convention centers. There’s plenty of room. Getting there really early won’t do much for you.

Now, the only exception to this is if there’s a very specific panel or event you want to attend. If that event is happening early or you know it’s going to get crowded fast, then showing up a little earlier would work. Outside that specific circumstance, don’t bother. You’ll just waste time and energy standing in line that you could put to so many other uses in a town like Las Vegas.


Tip #2: Carry Between $100 to $150 Cash (In Addition To Your Credit Card)

This is something I learned the hard way early on. At most comic cons these days, vendors do take credit cards and debit cards. For some merchandise though, as well as autographs and photo ops, they only accept cash. I’ve missed out on a few very critical autographs because I was stupid enough to not have enough cash. Don’t make that same mistake.

Again, most vendors still take credit cards. It’s not 1997, for crying out loud. Plus, unless you’re a high roller or cos-playing as Richie Rich, it’s not a good idea to have a lot of cash on you. Save that for the casinos. Unless you’re looking to buy something really rare, like one of Jack Kirby’s old pencils, $100 to $150 should do the trick.


Tip #3: Buy (And Keep Charged) An External Battery For Your Smartphone

This is probably the most serious tip I can offer. If you scoff at every other word I’ve written on this post, at least take this seriously. Make sure you have a fully-charged external battery for your smartphone and keep it on your person at all times. Even if you’re cos-playing as the scantily-clad Starfire, find a way to include an external battery.

At every con I’ve been to, I’ve seen huge swaths of people hover around wall outlets as though they’re the lone source of heat in a Siberian winter. People will literally fight each other to access an outlet to charge their phone or tablet. I’ve seen it happen. It can get pretty ugly, especially when they’re dressed as Mortal Kombat characters.

That’s why it’s prudent to invest in at least one external battery. It doesn’t matter where you get it. Just make sure it works and make sure it has at least two full charges. You’ll probably be taking a lot of photos and videos. If you’re going with friends, you’ll probably need to stay in touch with them somehow. If, by chance, you get a cute cos-players phone number, you better make damn sure your phone is active.

Again, and I can’t belabor this enough, make sure you’ve got a battery. Make sure you can charge your phone at a moment’s notice. Nothing kills the comic con experience faster than having a dead phone.


Tip #4: Make Sure You Can Store What You Bring (And Buy)

This is especially important for cos-players. If you’re going to wear a costume to “Amazing Comic Con,” even if it’s a small one, make sure you have a place to store it. The Las Vegas Convention Center, and most convention centers in general, have storage areas that you can use for a small fee. Unless you want to lug a ton of crap around, it’s a worthwhile investment.

I wore a costume to the New York Comic Con last year. It wasn’t a very bulky costume, but it became somewhat of an annoyance when I needed to change out of it for a panel. Not having a storage locker made that really difficult. I had to wait in line at a crowded bathroom to get out of it. That was not a pleasant experience.

It helps that the Las Vegas Convention Center is attached to a hotel. Even if you’re not staying there, the staff will go out of their way to help you store your crap, so long as the price is right. Las Vegas is a very service-oriented town. They will accommodate you, so long as you’re not insultingly cheap.

Storage lockers also are a must if you plan on buying a lot of gear. Whether it’s posters or collectors items, a locker ensures you can keep exploring the convention without lugging around all your stuff. If you don’t plan on buying much or don’t have much cash to spend, just bringing a simple backpack will often suffice.


Tip #5: Be Polite To Cos-Players (And Don’t Be A Dick)

One of the best parts of comic cons are the cos-players. They help make conventions the wonderful spectacles they are and in a city like Las Vegas, which was built on a foundation of spectacles, expect to see plenty of wonderful sights. For better or for worse, you’ll see men, women, and children dressed in some of the most astonishing costumes ever.

Most of these cos-players are happy to pose for a photo. Just being polite and asking nicely will suffice. Every cos-player I’ve met, male or female, have been wonderful. They will literally drop what they’re doing to pose for a photo. Some will even go out of their way to talk comics, which is something you just don’t get with a random Elvis impersonator.

Amazing Comic Con,” and every con these days, makes a big deal about harassment. I don’t think that needs to be belabored here. If you’re going to be a dick to a cos-player, especially a female cos-player, you can expect to get thrown out or arrested. Remember, you’re in a big convention center full of people dressed as superheroes. Do you really think you’ll get away with being an asshole in that environment?


Tip #6: Know The Layout (And Note The Restrooms And Food Vendors)

Anyone who has ever had to navigate a convention center usually learns this the hard way. Some of these convention centers are huge. I got lost multiple times at the New York Comic Con because the building was so damn big. I’ve been to the Las Vegas Convention Center before. It’s one of the biggest on the west coast. Make sure you have a map of the place and always keep it handy.

I know that may be common sense, but having a map and using it right aren’t the same thing. I usually get a map at every convention center I go to, but those maps aren’t always easy to read. In my experience, it helps to get an official map of the entire convention center. That tends to be more detailed.

In addition, make a note of the restrooms and food vendors. Comic conventions tend to get really crowded. That means you’ll encounter many long lines at the restrooms. To avoid that, make a note of restrooms in areas that aren’t usually crowded. Sometimes you have to really go out of your way to find them, but when you really got to go, that knowledge can be invaluable.

The same goes for food vendors. I once stood in line for a half-hour just to get a small order of chicken and fries. It cost me nearly twenty bucks as well. Some food vendors will gouge you if you let them. If possible, make sure you eat a good meal before the convention and have a plan on where to get a bite when you need one. The less time you spend hungry and in line, the more time you’ll have to enjoy yourself.


These are just a few tips to help your “Amazing Comic Con” experience. Use them or don’t use them. If you can’t find a way to enjoy yourself at a comic con or in a city like Las Vegas, then you need help I’m not qualified to give. For everyone else, this is a beautiful convergence of pop culture and sex appeal. That’s a potent combination and in a town like Las Vegas, that’s saying something.

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Filed under Comic Books, Jack Fisher, Superheroes