Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Super Bowl LIII Edition


It’s finally here. That most holiest of days for football fans is upon us. Super Bowl LIII has arrived. Whether you’re a football fan, a sports fan, or just someone notices there are a lot of reruns on today, you feel its impact. It is, by sheer numbers, the most watched event on television and this year looks to raise the bar once again.

Now, I’m not particularly passionate about either team. Neither one of these teams were my pick to make it to the Super Bowl when the season started. I’m also among the many who were hoping to see anyone other than the New England Patriots playing for yet another title. I even feel like this game is already tainted because of a bullshit call that robbed the New Orleans Saints of a critical victory.

Regardless of my personal feelings, it’s a football game and the biggest game of the year, at that. That means I’m going to stock up on beer, buffalo wings, whiskey, chips, dip, and everything else that’s going to make me feel 20 pounds heavier tomorrow. Regardless of who hoists the Lombardi Trophy, I’m going to enjoy myself and so will many others.

Football may not inspire sexy thoughts in everyone. I’m sure there are plenty who are annoyed by how much coverage the Super Bowl gets every year. That said, I’m also sure those same people would admit that Tom Brady is one sexy piece of man meat. I’m a straight man and even I don’t deny that. His sex appeal alone is enough to inspire this week’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!

“What does it say about us that we shake hands with the one someone is most likely to use to masturbate?”

“We send mixed messages when we label sex as an adult subject and those who enjoy it too much as immature.”

“Orgasms are nature’s way of telling people that propagating a species can be fun.”

“The best sex often starts with something you shouldn’t do, becomes something you want to do, and ends as something you wish you’d done sooner.”

“The taboo of every sexual kink is directly proportional to the amount of lube it requires.”

“When it comes to sports, the will the win and the will to get laid aren’t always mutually exclusive.”

“Practically speaking, sex is the part of romantic chemistry that is most likely to make a literal and figurative mess.”

I hope that helped everyone work up an appetite, among other things, for the big game. I’m sure it’ll have many twists and turns. I’m also sure it’ll be full of controversy, regardless of who wins. Whatever the case, it’s the last football game of the season and it’s worth enjoying. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some extra-spicy wings to cook and a lot of beer to drink.

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