Addiction, Religion, And The Striking Similarities

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Battling addiction is a serious issue. Even if you haven’t struggled with it at some point in your life, there’s a good chance that you know someone who has. I’ve known more than a few. I’ve seen how damaging it can be to people and their families.

That makes the process for treating addiction just as critical. Unlike the flu or a nasty headache, it’s not as easy as simply getting a prescription and taking a few pills. Oftentimes, there are powerful psychological factors at work to go along with the equally-powerful biological factors. Finding an effective treatment is exceedingly difficult, especially in the midst of a deadly opioid crisis.

One of the greatest challenges for finding such treatments is ensuring that someone doesn’t just exchange one bad addiction for another. Even if some addictions aren’t as damaging as another, going from heroin to methadone is only a marginal improvement for many. There is, however, one secondary addiction that adds even more complications to the mix and it’s not a pill or a substance. It’s religion.

As always, I’m going to try and be careful with my words here. I know discussions involving religion tend to bring out a lot of high emotions. I’m also aware that whenever I discuss religion, I don’t portray it in a positive light. I make it a point to disclose that religion can be a positive force for many people and I have many devoutly religious people in my family who I love dearly.

That disclaimer aside, the forces surrounding organized religion are powerful and they can be misused. The history of such misuse is well-documented. It’s impact on treating addiction is less known, but does manifest. There have been more than a few celebrities who have become religious after a battle with addiction. Some are genuinely better because of it. However, that does raise a few questions.

Did their religion actually help them overcome their addiction?

Did their religion help them address the underlying factors behind their addiction?

Did their religion just become a replacement for whatever they’d been addicted to?

These questions may come off as cynical, but they have serious implications. Religion is a powerful force on some people. Whether you’re a true believer or an ardent atheist, it’s hard to deny the impact of such a force. Religious experiences have been documented to have measurable effects on the human brain. Some of those effects are comparable to addictive drugs.

That’s not to say that going to church and going to a heroin dealer are the same thing. Addiction is complex and so is brain function. At the same time, the human brain is prone to plenty of flaws. It can be easily tricked and people can even trick themselves. When it comes to addictions, you can’t expect your brain the know the difference between heroin and a religious experience.

There is even some research that demonstrates this to some extent. For people who once built their lives around their addiction, religion is a pretty effective replacement. It demands a great deal of money, time, and energy. It surrounds you with people who reinforce and reaffirm your beliefs and behavior. It can even give some people a very specific high.

That high just becomes the new addiction. That intense feeling that religion gives people suddenly becomes the feeling that addicts are so driven to pursue. It may not feel the same as an addict’s previous addiction, which is why they may not see it as such. That doesn’t matter, though. What matters is that it fills the proverbial void that the previous addiction once filled.

That’s why it shouldn’t be too surprising to find out that some famous addiction treatment programs have deeply religious roots. It also shouldn’t be that surprising when those who find religion after dealing with addiction tend to be quite passionate about their faith, compared to those who found religion through a different path.

Even if these programs help people, it still doesn’t answer the relevant questions surrounding their addiction. Exchanging one disease for another doesn’t constitute a cure, but people make an exception for religion. The idea of someone being addicted to a religion isn’t as easy to imagine as someone being addicted to cigarettes, gambling, or porn. To them, a religious addict is just someone who goes to church more often.

Some see that as a good thing. Compared to robbing gas stations for drug money, it is an improvement. However, it still leaves the underlying cause of the addiction untreated. Whatever is making someone an addict is still present. While I don’t doubt religious organizations are happy to accept their adherence, it doesn’t fundamentally change an addict’s condition.

That can be damaging and dangerous to people who are already vulnerable. In the worst case scenario, finding religion can only create the illusion that the addict has been cured. Society didn’t approve of them being a junkie on the street, but it does approve of them being a devout religious zealot who rails against the evils of their former vice.

That sends the message that society is selective when it comes to treating addicts. As long as their addiction is productive for society, in that it benefits established institutions, it’ll treat that as a cure. It doesn’t matter if it never helps someone get to the root of their problems. As long as it makes them productive, that’s good enough.

Again, I’m not claiming that most religious organizations actively exploit people struggling with addiction. Some definitely do and a few are quite famous for it. However, it’s somewhat telling that we ascribe finding religion to overcoming an addiction when, on many levels, it’s just exchanging one source of addictive behavior for another.

At its best, religion inspires people to do great things for all the right reasons. At its worst, it can exploit someone to such an extent that it can make people who are genuinely sick feel like they’re healed. Addiction, like many other disease, is something that can only get worse if left untreated.

Whether it’s religion or crack, the brain of an addict will do what it takes to sustain its addictive state. There are effective, legitimate treatments for addiction that actually attempt to confront the source of the issues within an addict. Many aren’t as easy or overwhelming as finding religion, but they make a concerted effort at treating the addict rather than simply guiding them to a more socially-acceptable addiction.

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Final “Dark Phoenix” Trailer Is Threatening (In A Good Way)

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These are wonderful, exciting times for fans of superhero movies, unless you’re a Hellboy fan. “Avengers Endgame” is poised to break all sorts of box office record. The Disney/Fox merger is complete. On top of all that, “Dark Phoenix” is still set to come out on June 7, 2019.

While some have opinions on this film that are petty and unwarranted, I’m still very excited and not just because Sophie Turner is flexing some cosmic sex appeal. This movie is poised to be the last of the X-Men movies that began way back in 2000. While I can understand why some are eager to jump ahead to the X-Men joining the MCU, lets’ not forget that there would be no MCU without the first “X-Men” movie.

It was X-Men that helped usher in this golden era of superhero movies. Now, both “Dark Phoenix” and “Avengers Endgame” promise to usher in a new era. As such, the final trailer for “Dark Phoenix” dropped today and it promises closure, along with cosmic threats.

Sophie Turner has never looked more menacing as Jean Grey.

Tye Sheridan has never looked more determined as Scott Summers.

Between them and the wondrous dynamic between James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender, this movie has everything necessary to cap off this era of X-Men movies in all the right ways.

I know “Avengers Endgame” will break most of the records and make more headlines. However, I believe “Dark Phoenix” will ultimately have a greater impact when all is said and done.

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Jack Fisher’s Weekly Quick Pick Comic: Uncanny X-Men #16

Every Wednesday, this crazy world of ours gets a little less intolerable thanks to a fresh batch of comics. At a time when most of our heroes are in movies and too many villains run free in the real world, we need a little something to remind us of all things good, upstanding, and awesome. As such, I make it a point to select one comic from this batch that’s a better reminder than most.

While the world of superhero comics goes through cycles of hope and despair as often as the Hulk goes through cheap pants, the state of affairs for the X-Men have been more dire than usual. Since the reality-warping events of “Uncanny X-Men #10,” the state of mutant affairs in the Marvel universe hasn’t just been tenuous. Mutants are essentially fighting for the right to be more than an afterthought.

As much of the mutant population is exploring the dystopian utopia that is “Age of X-Man,” the remaining X-Men have been trying to find their place in a world that seems all too happy to be rid of mutants. It has not been an easy endeavor, but “Uncanny X-Men #16” reminds us why it’s worth doing.

The X-Men have been beaten, demoralized, wounded, and marginalized. They’ve had to battle old enemies, attack old allies, and even clash with close family. To say they’re at a low point would be like saying John Wick likes his dog. This is one of the most dire situations the X-Men have ever had to endure, including everything ever written by Chuck Austin.

Despite all that, “Uncanny X-Men #16” finds a way to bring out the best in the X-Men’s most ardent champions.

If you’re a Cyclops fan, you’ll find something to love about this issue. If you’re a Wolverine fan, you’ll find something to love about it too. Hell, if you’re a fan of mutant ninjas fighting alongside magic-wielding Russian teenagers, you’ll find something love about it. That last one is not a metaphor, by the way.

Uncanny X-Men #16” continues a story that has wounded the X-Men in so many ways. A lot of it is mental. Some of it is physical, as Cyclops’ lingering head injury shows. Even as the X-Men fight on, this issue finally shows all the struggle getting to the team. It’s not the first time these characters have expressed doubts, but in the context of the story, it does something important with respect to the past, present, and future of the X-Men.

Everyone on Cyclops’ team knows that mutants are in an existential crisis. They know their numbers are dwindling and that humanity is doing everything possible to make them an afterthought. How does anyone even go about being X-Men in a world like that? Thus far, that has been an unanswered question.

Cyclops and Wolverine tried to answer it by creating a new team out of what remained of the mutant population. They’re actually setting aside their differences and attempting to keep the spirit of the X-Men going. Keep in mind, these are two people who don’t like each other. One of them kept trying to sleep with the other’s wife and the other has shot him through a wall on more than one occasion.

Just putting the team together and fighting what’s left of the X-Men battles has been a struggle over the past several issues. However, “Uncanny X-Men #16” dares to step back and question what they’re fighting for and why they’re even fighting.

Writer, Matthew Rosenberg, explores some overdue discussion among the team. He also puts Cyclops in a unique position that somehow makes him more awesome. For much of his history, as well as his ill-fated roles in the movies, Cyclops has always been the uptight leader who barks orders and expects others to follow them. While we’ve seen hints of that Cyclops here and there, he finds himself in a more uncertain position.

Cyclops no longer trusts himself to be the leader he once was. Even his own brother, Havok, isn’t sold on his leadership at times. While it’s hard to be much of a leader when your entire species is on the brink of extinction, the criticisms aren’t without merit.

Essentially, Cyclops gives the X-Men a chance to show that they can be X-Men without him barking orders. He goes so far as to temper his own leadership in order to give the X-Men a chance to prove their causes is bigger than one person. I won’t say it’s Cyclops’ greatest tactical decision, but the results speak for themselves.

The criticisms and difficult discussions are relevant, giving “Uncanny X-Men #16” much more depth than a typical X-Men comic. It still has plenty of standard superhero action that artist, Salvador Larroca, renders beautifully with his skills. It’s not the flashiest battle, but it has a few twists and complications that require more than just better leadership.

Some of the choices made over the course of the story are questionable. Many of the wounds they’ve suffered haven’t entirely healed. These X-Men are still a far cry from the X-Men that hang out in mansions, fly around in high-speed jets, and fight killer robots. They’re not just struggling to find their place in a world where mutants are almost extinct. They’re trying to find a better way to do what they’ve always done.

The events of “Uncanny X-Men #16” prove that the X-Men still have plenty to offer. They’re still in a tenuous state, but they’re still intact. They’re still finding their way. They’re still learning overdue lessons that bring out the best in each character while not overlooking the worst.

These are exciting times for the X-Men and not just because the movie rights have returned to Marvel. Rosenberg and Larroca have broken the X-Men down in their darkest hour. Now, it feels like they’re becoming the superheroes they have to be. There’s bound to be setbacks, mistakes, and tragedies. However, that’s often when heroes like the X-Men are at their best.

 

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Daily Sexy Musing: First Time Frisking

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The first time you do anything, you can’t expect to be good at it. No matter how talented you are, it’s still going to be as awkward as it is exciting. The same applies to all things sexy. In fact, I would argue that the awkwardness and excitement is magnified tenfold. That’s part of what makes those first frisky moments we share so memorable.

I certainly remember the first time I got frisky with a significant other. She and I were restless, alone, and watching reruns of old X-Men cartoons. It also happened to be the holidays so we were really in the spirit, so to speak. I don’t remember the exact moment when our hands slipped under our shirts, but it was a fun moment for all the right reasons.

It can certainly get more intense than that. From the first time you share a kiss with your lover to the first time you see each other naked, those moments are going to stand out, regardless of whether you break up or go onto get married. Even if it’s a less-than-pleasant experience, it’ll resonate on so many levels. It’s part of what makes intimacy so powerful.

This Daily Sexy Musing is my attempt to take those powerful moments and put them into a larger context. It’s not just about that epic first kiss. It’s not just about that first time two peoples’ genitals interact. There are many other passions at work and they’re definitely worth exploring.

I’ve thought about it.

I’ve dreamed about it.

I’ve hoped, wondered, and pined about it.

Finally, I can stop imagining.

We’ve followed our passions thus far. From the first gaze we exchanged to the last embrace we shared, we’ve already beaten the odds. I’ve proven myself as worthy of your affection. You’ve proven to me that these feelings are real.

I want you.

You want me.

Together, we want whatever our passions incur.

It’s no longer enough to just share words and gestures. I’ve caressed your face and tasted your lips. You’ve held my hand and felt my warmth. Now, I seek something more intimate. Being around you makes my heart race and my clothes itchy. To know you and love you, we must take another critical step.

We find a private area. Every possible distraction is removed or muted. As the moment builds, my knees grow week and my skin becomes hot. I know what I desire, but I’m nervous to embrace it. I can feel you trembling with the same anxiety, knowing that this will be our first time. After, there can never be another.

For the briefest of instants, I question whether we’re ready. My body restrains my heart, reminding me of just how big a moment this is. I understand the weight of the feeling, but I do not pull back. In your eyes, I see another eager soul yearning to capture this moment.

Finally, we shed our clothes.

Finally, we touch once-forbidding parts of flesh.

Finally, we get our first taste of one another’s love.

Reservation turns to exhilaration. Our hearts race together, but not out of dread or fear. For the first time, we feel one another in a deeply intimate way. There are no more barriers to our passions. For the first time, we unleash the breadth of our passions.

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Legalizing Vs. Decriminalizing Prostitution: Knowing The Difference And Why It Matters

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Anyone who has dealt with lawyers for more than five minutes will likely tell you that the words you use in legal issues really matter. In fact, even punctuation matters. There has been more than one case in which the placement of a comma has made a difference measured in millions of dollars. When it comes to issues like prostitution, the stakes are even higher with respect to word choice.

For better or for worse, but mostly for worse, the debate surrounding prostitution has been derailed by poor word choice. That’s because when most people discuss prostitution these days, it gets caught up in rhetoric surrounding human trafficking, sexual slavery, and exploitation. No matter where you are on the political spectrum, there’s no way to get around such ugly verbiage.

That’s a big problem too because, as I’ve noted before, sex work and human trafficking aren’t the same thing. That’s not just me saying that. This is what actual data says. According to research conducted by the International Labour Organization, only 22 percent of human trafficking victims are forced into sex work. The vast majority of victims end up in other forms of forced labor.

Despite this, it hasn’t stopped anti-prostitution advocates from citing human trafficking as a reason for keeping prostitution illegal. However, as a few notable cases have revealed, broad scale prohibition of prostitution doesn’t work. That’s why a number of western countries have attempted other legal models to deal with the issue, the most popular being the Nordic Model.

Under this model, sex work isn’t entirely legalized. It’s legal to sell sexual services, but it isn’t legal to buy it. It’s basically akin to legalizing hot dog stands, but not the consumption of hot dogs. It may sound absurd, but the intention is to attack the demand surrounding prostitution, punishing the people who patronize an exploitative industry.

While that sounds noble on paper, the results don’t line up with the goals. There’s no evidence that this model makes people less inclined to want sex from a prostitute. There’s also no evidence that it has improved the lives of sex workers. Even so, whenever prostitution comes up, any discussion of legalization is bound to draw ire from anyone who isn’t an ardent libertarian.

Liberals see prostitution as exploitation of women, minorities, and the poor.

Conservatives see prostitution as immoral, dirty, and sinful.

Feminists see prostitution as a product of oppressive, patriarchal traditions.

With such powerful opposition in mind, it might help to take a step back and understand the actual substance surrounding legal sex work. When most people think about legalized prostitution, they probably imagine scenes like the legal brothels that operate in Nevada or the Red Light Districts that operate in parts of Europe. However, that’s only a small part of a much larger story.

That’s because legalized prostitution is not the same as decriminalized prostitution. Make no mistake. The difference is subtle, but has huge implications and you don’t have to be a sex worker, a police officer, or a lawyer to appreciate them.

By and large, the presence of red light districts are a byproduct of legalization. That’s because under a legalization model, the government and local authorities regulate the practice. This is how it works in countries like Germany and the Netherlands. Like the Nordic Model, the intentions are good and it even sounds good on paper.

The government license sex workers, thus providing them with a legal paper-trail. They can also include things like mandatory health screenings, adherence to specific labor laws, and access to public services and benefits. Again, that sounds good and it has plenty of benefits, especially when compared to the inherent dangers of street prostitution.

The drawback is that government regulation of prostitution has the same issues associated with government regulation, in general. It effectively requires that the lives of sex workers be micromanaged to a degree that those who work in fast food or coal mines don’t experience. Those who don’t abide by those regulations are as worse off as they were under illegal prostitution.

In essence, legal prostitution improves things for sex workers who are able to comply with the various regulations. Given how many sex workers come from poor or marginalized backgrounds, this ensures that not everyone enjoys the benefits of legal protections. It essentially creates two tiers of prostitution in which one is still very vulnerable to exploitation and the government gets to decide who is in that tier.

Regardless of how much you trust the government to decide who in the sex trade to protect, the legal shortcomings are inherent. This is where decriminalized prostitution sets itself apart. In this model, the government doesn’t exactly legalize prostitution as much as it removes the criminal penalties associated with its activities.

It’s a small, but critical distinction in that the government and the authorities don’t play favorites with who they prosecute and who they ignore. They still have to enforce laws surrounding violence and coercion. That means human trafficking is still illegal. You can’t force someone to become a sex worker any more than you can force them to work in a copper mine. Essentially, it treats sex work as actual work.

While I’m sure that offends the sensibilities of many people on various parts of the political spectrum, it does frame sex work in an important context. In almost every form of labor, there’s room for exploitation. Workers can be underpaid and subject to deplorable conditions. Shady business practices can ensure that only a select few see the benefits. Decriminalization makes no special exceptions for sex work.

The same laws that attempt to combat those practices in other businesses are simply applied to sex work. Even in the United States, if prostitution were decriminalized tomorrow, human trafficking and forced labor would still be illegal. It would just be treated the same as those who employ trafficked labor to work in agriculture or factories.

To some extent, this makes sex work less taboo from a legal standpoint. When you make special classifications for specific behaviors, it sends the message that there’s something that sets it apart from other similar activities. In societies where sexual activity is subject to all sorts of taboos outside prostitution, it can effectively reinforce many of those taboos.

It’s for that reason, among many others, that more human rights organizations now favor decriminalizing prostitution over legalization or the Nordic Model. Among those organizations include the likes of Amnesty International, who issued their official position back in 2016 wherein they stated the following:

It recommends the decriminalization of consensual sex work, including those laws that prohibit associated activities – such as bans on buying, solicitation and general organization of sex work. This is based on evidence that these laws often make sex workers less safe and provide impunity for abusers with sex workers often too scared of being penalized to report crime to the police. Laws on sex work should focus on protecting people from exploitation and abuse, rather than trying to ban all sex work and penalize sex workers.

At the moment, the only country that has embraced decriminalization is New Zealand. While it’s not perfect, the research on the effectiveness of policies show promise. It’s also the policy that many sex workers themselves advocate.

It’s still not a perfect policy, but that makes it all the more important to understand the differences between what’s being done now and what could be done in the future. Prostitution is called the world’s oldest profession for a reason. Human beings are sexual creatures. They are wired to seek sex. There will always be those who seek it and those willing to provide it for a price.

Laws can change, but no amount of legal distinctions and enforcement are going to change human nature. The emergence of sex robots and sex doll brothels promise to further complicate the issue. There’s no one perfect way to handle an issue as sensitive as prostitution, but there are plenty of ways to make it worse.

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Filed under gender issues, political correctness, prostitution, sex in society, sexuality

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Joggers Edition

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It wasn’t that long ago that I hated running. Back in high school, it was my least favorite activity in gym and that includes getting hit in the face with a kickball. It didn’t help that I wasn’t very athletic and dealt with mild asthma for a good chunk of my youth. I just had way too many excuses to hate it and I made the most of them.

Then, I actually got serious about my health. As I’ve noted before, I effectively body shamed myself into adopting a healthier lifestyle and in doing so, I developed a genuine fondness for jogging. One of the most relaxing parts of my day is when I go for a nice, long jog around the trails located around my neighborhood. I’ve come up with more than a few sexy stories during such jogs.

I’m also not afraid to go on these runs without my shirt on. I used to be self-conscious about that, but years of consistent exercise has made it so I actually look good without a shirt on. It actually encourages me to keep running and keep pushing myself. Along the way, I’ve met many other avid runners who have a similar mentality. The fact it makes you feel sexy too is also a nice bonus.

Part of being sexy is being able to exert yourself. Jogging and exercise shows just how much you’re willing to exert. Doing it without a shirt or in a sexy sports bra is a nice way of showing just how worth it jogging can be when done right. This week’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts is both an ode and a celebration of the sex appeal that jogging has given me and so many others. Enjoy!


“When you think about it, the gap between wrestling and foreplay is incredibly narrow.”


“When men find female genitalia obscene, yet still seek to insert theirs into it, they’re sending mixed messages.”


“When an orgasm is the goal, the individual wins, but when it’s the bonus, then the entire species wins.”


“Believing in someone else’s ability to satisfy you was probably the first true leap of faith.”


“A friend with benefits is like alcohol minus the hangovers.”


“If it can be used as lubricant, then it can be (and probably has been) used for sex at some point.”


“To some extent, porn stars are superheroes to our genitals in that they inspire them to do more than they otherwise would have.”


I understand that jogging or other kinds of strenuous exercise aren’t going to have much appeal to certain people. I respect that. I was once like that. However, I also don’t deny that looking and feeling sexy requires work. If you’re willing to put in that work, then the benefits will show. Jogging is among the simplest kinds of work. After all, what’s more sexy than building up sweat, grit, and endurance?

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“My Parents’ Bedroom” A Sexy Short Story

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The following is a sexy short story inspired by an anecdote I heard in high school. I won’t say how accurate certain details are. I’ll just say that the couple that inspired this story were as bold as they were in love. Enjoy!

“Young love is dumb love.”

Those were the exact words that Tyra Armstrong’s used the first time she brought up the subject of dating. It had only been a joke and she was in middle school at the time, but her father was dead serious. He’d made it abundantly clear that she wasn’t supposed to waste time with boys and romance. Her only concerns had to revolve around school, grades, and getting into college. Her mother shared that sentiment and went out of her way to belabor it whenever her father wasn’t around.

For the most part, Tyra honored her parents’ wishes. She was an honor student, a track star, and on track to go to any college of her choosing. When her parents were around, she said all the right things and conducted herself as a dutiful daughter. When they weren’t around, however, she dared to be defiant.

“Hurry up, Vic!” Tyra urged a tall, slender boy as they entered the back door of her house.

“Take it easy, Tyra. You act like we’re sneaking into the White House or something,” the boy replied, following closely as she led him through the kitchen.

“For what we’re about to do, neither one of us should be acting.”

“Even if your parents already know me and love me?”

“Trust me,” she told him, “that’ll only piss them off even more.”

Victor Frey hesitated briefly as she led him down the hall of her family’s one-story house, but Tyra kept urging him along. He wasn’t one to shy away from risky situations, especially when the prospect of getting naked with a cute girl was a possible reward. His father worked on hot rods in his spare time and his mother served in the Coast Guard. Being bold ran in his family, but that didn’t stop him from underestimating the risks.

Tyra still tried to distract him from contemplating them. Halfway down the hall, she pulled him into an intimate embrace, kissing him hard on the lips and throwing in some extra tongue to further tempt him. She even guided his hands from her waist to her butt, making it abundantly clear to him how much she wanted him, despite the best efforts of her parents.

“Tyra…if I didn’t know any better, I’d say pissing off your parents is a turn-on,” Vic commented.

“What gave you that idea?” she asked seductively.

“Well, aside from the fact that your thigh is grinding against my crotch, I’m sensing some family drama here. I mean…I get why you tell your parents you’re hanging out with Karen instead of me, but this kind of deception is…well, it’s telling.”

“It damn well better,” said Tyra. “It says how much I love you.”

Just saying those words left her breathless. Still standing in the middle of the hall, embracing in ways that would’ve sent her parents into a rage, Tyra gazed intently into the eyes of the teenage boy she’d fallen so hard for.

Victor wasn’t some big, hulking jocks like the guys on the football team. She’d actually known him since the third grade. Her mother was friends with his mother. They’d been friends for years, but they hadn’t always been that close. That changed shortly after her 17th birthday when a mutual friend of theirs, Sarah Meyer, died in a car accident.

It started with him comforting her. It then led to her kissing him. From there, one thing led to another. The next things he knew, they were hanging out, hooking up, and making love in his parents’ basement when her parents thought she was studying with friends. She hadn’t planned on falling in love with him or losing her virginity to him. Everything her parents taught her about young love implied it was wrong, but with every intimate moment, it felt more and more right.

“Vic, I know I can be neurotic when it comes to sharing these moments,” Tyra said to him in a more serious tone.

“Not the word I would use, but I can’t think of anything more accurate,” he replied jokingly.

“And it’s not just because of my parents…although they’re the primary reason,” she continued. “You see, I never made an effort to find love. Hell, I’d even promised myself I would avoid that shit until college. At least then I could have some distance between me and my parents.”

“Sorry if I made you break that promise,” said Victor.

“No. Don’t you dare apologize for loving me like you did. It feels too damn good and too damn right,” she said, now caressing his unshaven face affectionately, “and no, I’m not just referring to the kissing, the dates, and the sex.”

“I didn’t think you were. I know you better than that, Tyra.”

“That’s the other reason. Between Sarah dying, racing hormones, and focusing way too much on my future, you helped me slow down just enough so I could appreciate the present. Even though everyone – teachers, parents, and those weird guest speakers at church – all say we shouldn’t take love at our age too seriously, I think…no, I know this is serious.”

To further affirm her point, she kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her body against his, soaking in his warmth on a such a dreary day. Victor got the message loud and clear, kissing back with equal passion. He even lifted her up into his arms, as if to show that he was strong enough to handle the young love everyone said was dumb. It just made he want him even more.

Not forgetting why she invited him over after school, knowing her parents wouldn’t be home for another couple hours, another dangerous idea popped into her head. Whether it was out of passion or recklessness, it was another one of those desire that seemed so wrong on paper, but felt so right.

“Vic…my parents’ bedroom,” Tyra said upon breaking the kiss.

“Um…what about it?” Victor asked incredulously.

“Let’s do it in my parents’ bedroom!” she said, still clinging to his shoulders. “Think about it…us, in their bed, making love in all the ways they don’t want.”

“That…is fucking crazy.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to?”

“Hell no!” he said without hesitation. “We’re graduating in two months. And since they already said we can’t go to the prom…”

His words trailed off. Tyra could already tell from that look on his face that he was entertaining thoughts of them naked in bed, doing things and feeling things that her parents didn’t want them to feel. It was so dangerous and daring. Then again, that had been the entire basis of their relationship and it had worked so well.

“I’ll lead the way,” she said seductively.

With renewed focus, Tyra led him towards the end of the hall, passing by her bedroom in the process. That was usually where their passionate moments began and ended. They’d even gotten quite skilled at sneaking in and out, keeping those moments discrete. Her parents’ bedroom was usually off-limits, even when they weren’t home. The idea of venturing into such forbidden territory only gave their passion an added thrill.

She and Victor burst through the door like a couple of newlyweds on their honeymoon. They were all over each other, kissing and necking like a couple of animals in heat. As soon as Victor kicked the door shut, they began shedding their clothes. Tyra practically tore his shirt off while he undid her pants. As they made their way to the king-sized bed, they stripped each other down to their underwear. Now in just her bra and panties, Tyra leapt up onto the bed and invited her young lover to join her.

“Come, my love,” she said playfully. “Let’s enjoy some reckless, teenage hormones!”

“Good thing I’m feeling extra reckless,” Victor said in his manliest tone.

Tyra snickered at his remark, already noticing a sizable bulge in his boxers. Like a veteran lover, he crawled onto the bed with her and took her in his arms. They then began making out, kissing and groping one another like the horny teens they were.

Whether subconsciously or intentionally, they made their way to the head of the bed. Once there, Victor snuck his hand behind her back and unclasped her bra. Once loose, he slipped it off and tossed into the pile of wrinkled clothing on the floor. He then trailed his lips down her face and neck while kneading her exposed breasts with both hands.

It felt good. It felt really good. He knew how much she loved having her breasts rubbed. It got her feeling even more aroused.

“Vic…so reckless,” she moaned. “God, it makes me wet!”

“Then, I guess you don’t need these panties anymore,” he quipped.

Tyra, her inner thighs already burning with arousal, lifted her hips so that her love could remove them. As soon as they were off, Victor shed his boxers and tossed them into the same pile of wrinkled clothing, revealing his rapidly-hardening manhood.

Now naked, aroused, and in the last place she wanted her parents to catch them in, Tyra slipped under the sheets with her lover and resumed their foreplay. The feeling of their hot, naked skin touching – her breasts pressing up against his chest, her thighs brushing up against his penis, and their hands exploring the various sinews of their bodies – amplified the desire, as well as the passion.

“Tyra…my love,” he gasped in between their heated kissing.

Hearing that proclamation, stating out loud in her parents’ bedroom the feeling they told her to avoid, made Tyra’s heart skip a beat. It turned an already-powerful desire into something much more meaningful.

“Victor…take me,” Tyra told him.

Needing no further guidance, Victor turned that desire into a physical act. Shifting his hands to her thighs, the bedsheets barely covering their waist, he pushed her legs apart and positioned himself between them. Then, with the care and focus she’d come to expect from her lover, he guided his manhood towards her wet entrance. With a simple thrust of his hips, he entered her.

“Ooh Vic!” she gasped.

“Mmm…Tyra,” he said through a deep, manly grunt.

Their flesh now intimately entwined, he captured her lips again and began making love to her on her parents’ bed…the same bed on which she’d probably been conceived years ago. Something about that seemed so strange, yet so right.

It made even basic, missionary-style sex feel so exciting. Victor was more energetic than usual, really working his body against hers, his hardened flesh slithering sensually within her moist womanhood. He was just as thorough in how he sensually kissed her lips and felt up her feminine curves, paying special attention to her breasts like he’d done earlier.

He’d learned early in their burgeoning sex life – and by accident, no less – that she loved having her breasts teased a certain way. For reasons she didn’t quite understand, it helped bring her to the brink of orgasm every bit as effectively as a targeted rubbing of her clit. The idea of getting off in the same room her parents slept was too appealing on too many levels.

Tyra also did her part to make the risk worth it, hooking her legs around his waist and raking her nails over his back in just the way he liked. As their naked bodies moved, rocking the bed along with it, they never diverted their gaze from one another. Even in a moment of reckless danger, passion found a way to show in their sex.

“I…I’m so close,” Tyra told him. “Please, Vic…I want this.”

“Me too, Tyra. I…I want it too,” he said intently.

He stepped up the pace of their movements, fondling both her breasts in just the right way to send her to the edge. Another loving kiss, followed by an equally-loving embrace, send her beyond that special brink and into a world of ecstasy.

“Ohhh Vic!” she cried out.

It was like touching a piece of Heaven, feeling a wondrous pleasure wash over her like a jolt from the divine. Victor held her closer, caressing her face and watching her expression contort to the successive surge of sensations. He even cased his movements, allowing her to fully immerse herself in her peak.

It showed just how much he cared about pleasing his lover. It also showed how strong his feelings were for her. Beyond making love in their parents’ bedroom, he was still dedicated to making it feel special.

“I love you, Tyra,” he told her, as if he hadn’t proved that enough.

“I love you too, Victor,” she replied.

Tyra, still shuddering under the weight of all the pleasure, captured his lips in another kiss. In doing so, her own dedicated passion kicked in. She had in her arms a lover who was very willing to take big risks to express their love. That kind of dedication deserved reciprocation in the best possible way.

“On your back,” Tyra whispered into his ear. “Now, it’s your turn!”

With a playful grin and a seductive glance, she rolled their naked bodies over so that Victor was now flat on his back with her straddling his hips. Their flesh never parted, his rigid member still within the tight confines of her throbbing womanhood. Still immersed in that intimate feeling, she rose into an upright position and began riding her lover like a woman possessed.

“Ohhh Tyra! So…so hot!” the young man moaned.

“Yeah…that’s it, my love!” Tyra said with an affectionate purr. “Enjoy it! Let me ride you till you come!”

Victor responded only with more impassioned grunts and groans. Tyra, embracing a more playful brand of lovemaking, put on a sexy show for her lover. She practically danced atop him, gyrating her hips and rocking her body in a way that made her breasts bounce with every movement.

It was such an erotic display, putting her lover in a trance-like daze. His hands remained on her breasts and his eyes remained locked with hers, so focused and determined to share in the pleasure she’d just enjoyed. She could tell he was close. The subtle twitches and contortions of his face were a dead giveaway.

Using those subtleties as a guide, Tyra stepped up the pace of her riding, working her tight folds along the length of his dick to bring him to that special place that she’d just ventured. As the feeling neared, his hands found hers, their fingers interlocked, and they held on for the final ascension.

“Tyra…I’m ready!” Victor gasped. “I’m going to…oh God!”

It finally arrived in the form of an intense, powerful release. Tyra could feel that intensity as his manhood throbbed inside her, releasing his manly fluid into her depths. His dazed state morphed into one of total ecstasy, the look of a young man who’d just made love in a way that was extra-meaningful. Still holding his hands tightly within hers, she cast him a beaming smile. When his eyes finally opened within the midst of his euphoric release, he smiled back.

He didn’t say a word and neither did she. They didn’t have to. They just kept smiling, shared an affectionate kiss, and let their flesh part for some much needed rest. Tyra practically collapsed atop her naked lover, resting her head on his chest and hearing his rapid heartbeat. His arms remained draped around her, their naked bodies only partially covered by the sheets. Even as they panted heavily to catch their breath, a clear and unmistakable truth set in.

“Young love is dumb love, my ass,” Tyra said under her breath.

“What was that, love?” said Victor, still very dazed by their shared peak.

“Nothing, babe!”

They shared a brief laugh as the afterglow settled in. It was such a nice feeling on top of that warm, intimate feeling of their juices mixing inside her. She wasn’t too worried, though. She’d been on birth control since before she and Victor started dating. Officially, it was for health reasons. Unofficially, though, it was her way of affirming that she wasn’t going to wait until her wedding night to experience such a wondrous feeling.

She and Victor had shared many such feelings in the brief time they’d been together. Young love or not, she remained determined to keep exploring it, even after they graduated. She wasn’t quite ready to make long-term plans. They were still young and adventurous, as evidenced by their willingness to do it in her parents’ bedroom. Whatever plans they made, though, she was determined to make them for the right reasons and not just because of what her parents wanted.

For now, she was content to just enjoy the post-coital afterglow. However, just as the cuddling began, a familiar sound emerged from the other side of the small, one-floor house.

“Damn, it feels good to be home,” said the voice of Tyra’s tired and clearly-irritated father.

Almost instantly, the afterglow vanished. Bliss and contentment was immediately replaced with dread and a new kind of urgency.

“Crap!” both Tyra and Victor said under their collective breath.

Like a reflex, they got out of the bed and gathered their clothes. While Victor scrambled to get his pants on, not even putting on his underwear, Tyra did her best to straighten out the bed so that it didn’t look like a couple of teenagers just had sex on it. For a moment, Victor looked around anxiously. While still fixing the bed, Tyra noticed a half-open window near the dresser.

“Vic…the window!” she pointed out.

“And it’s open, thank God!” he said.

He moved quickly and as quietly as possible, even as the footsteps of her father echoed from the living room. With his shirt, shoes, and socks in hand, he opened the window the rest of the way and crawled out into the muddy, dreary yard outside. It was not how Tyra had hoped to see her boyfriend leave, but so long as he got away in time, she was okay with it.

“Vic,” she called out, still gathering her clothes.

“What?” he said anxiously from outside.

“Next time…we do it in your parents’ bedroom.”

For a brief moment, he smiled. No longer caring that he was half-naked and covered in rain, he cast her a smile before running through the back yard and hopping the fence. Tyra lingered just long enough to make sure that he got away.

Still not dressed, clutching her discarded clothes to her naked body, Tyra carefully slipped out of her parents’ bedroom. Near as she could tell, her father was still in the living room. She could hear him pacing, which he often did when he came home feeling stressed out and irritated. Knowing that was the worst possible mood for him to find out his daughter just had sex with her boyfriend, she acted quickly.

Thinking fast, she ducked into the hall bathroom and not a second too soon. Her father already began making his way down the hall.

“Tyra? Are you here?” he called out.

“I’m here, daddy!” she said from the bathroom. “I’m just about to take a hot shower. The walk home just left me feeling so messy.”

In effort to sell it, she turned the shower on, hoping her father wouldn’t probe deeper. She even heard him walk by the bathroom door. The seconds that followed were tortuous. She swore her heart had jumped up into the back of her throat. If her father gave her that penetrating look of his, she wasn’t sure she could convincingly lie to him.

Much to her relief, he just kept walking.

“A hot shower…that sounds like a great idea,” he said. “Just make sure you set the table before your mother gets home. She’s bringing take-out and I’m not in the mood to do dishes tonight.”

“Don’t worry, daddy! I’ll take care of it,” Tyra said, once again sounding like the dutiful daughter.

Finally, she exhaled. The sound of her parents’ bedroom door closing assured her that she was in the clear. She waited a few more seconds. If he erupted into a rage because someone left their underwear behind, then she could start worrying again. That outburst never came.

It was official. She and Victor had gotten away with it. They made love in her parents’ bedroom.

“Young love is dumb love indeed,” she said to herself before slipping into the shower, “but still so worth it!”

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Daily Sexy Musing: On Weddings

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I’ve always been a romantic at heart, but I haven’t always enjoyed weddings or the activities surrounding them. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but there is a context behind it. As a kid, I was not a fan of big parties that didn’t involve ball pits or arcade games. When it was just adults hanging out and drinking, I didn’t see much appeal. Weddings were just part of that.

As I got older, I came to appreciate them more and more. It’s not just because I could legally drink, either. I became more willing to put myself out there and even make a fool of myself in front of friends and family. I also learned to share in the sentiment that came with celebrating love. I was already a romantic. Wedding just helped formalize it.

I write this after having attended a joyous and successful wedding involving one of my aunts. After sharing this momentous occasion with her, my love of romance is more affirmed than ever. Weddings aren’t just expensive parties involving expensive dresses that will only ever be worn once. They reflect the time, energy, and commitment we make in celebrating love.

While marriage wasn’t always romantic, the institution has evolved in a way that makes love the primary catalyst and I think it’s a beautiful thing. It’s worth celebrating and a wedding certainly achieves that. The one I just attended was a great example of how much fun that celebration could be.

Sitcoms and dark humor may still denigrate marriage and for understandable reasons, but I believe the good far outweighs the bad. This Daily Sexy Musing highlights and embraces the good. When done right, a wedding can be the epitome of love and all the sexiness it entails. Enjoy!

The music starts playing.

The bride starts walking.

The groom awaits her arrival.

The world watches as love is affirmed.

It’s a powerful moment, defining the evolution of an intimate bond. What began as attraction became infatuation. From that infatuation came an intimate connection, one that had to be nurtured and fueled. Passion was the first ingredient, but many others soon entered the mix. Now, the final product is ready.

Together, they stand at the altar.

Together, they proclaim he breadth of their love.

Together, they entwined their lives.

Words are exchanged and tears are shed. Friends, family, and loved ones of all kinds join in the moment. Regardless of place or circumstance, the language of love is universal. Not everyone appreciates its power, but none deny its impact. It drives us in so many endeavors. Only a select few make it to the ultimate goal.

In each other, they saw potential. A world of many passionate souls means a life of many pitfalls. We pine and agonize over the love we seek, taking chances and breaking hearts along the way. To find one another, turning possibilities into passions, is a struggle with many pains. However, the struggle is finally at an end.

Today, one journey has ended and another has begun. One set of promises has been kept. Another set have been made. In one moment, two wayward spirits are drawn together to forge a lasting link. Lives once adrift become united in their pursuits. Beyond the good times and through the bad, they take that special step.

The vows are exchanged.

The bond is sealed.

The kiss unfolds.

The union is complete.

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Understanding And Appreciating The Work Ethic Of Hank Hill

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As kids, we don’t always appreciate the deeper messages of certain TV shows, movies, or songs. I imagine most kids who saw “Jurassic Park” in 1993 didn’t care that much about the larger points Ian Malcom made about tampering with nature. They just loved seeing dinosaurs eat cowardly lawyers off toilets.

That’s why re-watching shows you loved in your youth can be insightful. Sometimes, it can be a little distressing, seeing themes that aren’t quite in line with today’s taboos and social norms. However, I don’t want to focus on those unpleasant instances. Instead, I want to focus on insights that we appreciate more as adults than we do as kids.

This brings me to a show that, even by today’s standards, has uncanny appeal. That show is “King of the Hill,” a show I’ve already singled out as home to Hank Hill, a strong example of noble masculinity. After rediscovering the show, thanks to Hulu, I’ve found myself appreciating the less obvious messages of the show.

One clear message that seems to come up several times over the course of the show’s 13 seasons is the value of a work ethic, especially when contrasted to those who have none. It’s a value few kids and teenagers appreciate. That’s understandable because in the innocence of youth, most go out of their way to avoid hard work or laborious tasks.

What makes “King of the Hill” stand out, more so to adults than to kids, is how it portrays work and the way people go about it. One of Hank Hill’s core traits is his dedication to his job. Among his most memorable and oft-repeated quotes is that he sells propane and propane accessories. That’s not just his job, though. It’s part of his identity.

Hank, unlike many male protagonists in animated sitcoms, actually loves his job. It’s not just something he does to pay the bills and provide for his family. He genuinely loves selling propane and propane accessories. That love is played up in plenty of comedic ways. In one episode, “Hank’s Back,” even doctors had a hard time believing that anyone would avoid a worker’s comp settlement.

What makes that comedy work is the common expectation that few people actually like their jobs. If they do, it’s only because they’re rich and it affords them all sorts of fancy perks. However, Hank is not rich. One episode even goes out of its way to show that, even by middle class standards, he’s not that well off. He’s no Al Bundy, but he’s not Charlie Harper, either.

That doesn’t matter to Hank because his is not entirely about money or even the opportunity to make more money. It’s about doing something he loves and deriving real meaning from it. His job selling propane and propane accessories gives him a unique sense of fulfillment that can’t be quantified with money.

This sort of approach to work isn’t just unique among sitcom dads. It reflects an approach to work that is rarely emphasized, even in a world where work is changing due to automation. Growing up, the nature of work and careers is presented in a certain way. It’s not always through the media or movies like “Office Space,” either.

When kids and teenagers are encouraged to think about future careers, it’s almost always framed as a means to an end. First and foremost, a career provides money and resources with which to build a life, whether it’s a family or just a home in general. It’s part of a much larger process of becoming a productive member of society.

Most counselors and teachers will encourage kids to find a career they actually like. That’s the ideal. However, it’s a poorly-kept secret that few people ever land their “dream job.” Just as few people end up working jobs that are related to their college major. On top of that, many of these people who graduate college are underemployed, which put them in a similar position to Hank.

To some extent, Hank Hill is in an ideal career because he’s doing something he loves and he’s getting paid for it. That alone sets him apart from many career-seekers, both in the real and fictional world. However, the love he has for his work and his career actually runs deeper than that.

To him, his job isn’t just a means to an end. It is the end. The work itself is the reward. The money he makes is only ever secondary. For Hank Hill, the best moment of his job isn’t when he gets his paycheck. It’s when he sees the look on a satisfied customer’s face when he sells them a new grill or helps them refill their propane tank.

That kind of fulfillment isn’t just rare in an animated sitcom that includes a self-professed conspiracy theorist who never realizes that his wife cheated on him for years. It’s a rare and unique state of being, having a job in which the work feels so rewarding. Even in the real world, this sort of mindset is rare, which is part of what helps set Hank Hill apart.

For most of human history, people didn’t have careers. They just had things they had to do to survive another day, whether it involved hunting and gathering or growing crops. In modern times, a new host of jobs gave people a variety of ways to earn a living, but the nature of the work was rarely fulfilling and often laborious.

The idea of having a job that you actually like and feeling fulfilled in the work you do is akin to a modern nirvana, of sorts. It takes the very idea of work and turns it into something other than that stuff people have to do in order to make money. Hank isn’t just lucky in that he has that kind of job. He’s got the perfect attitude for it.

That attitude of seeing work as something inherently fulfilling often puts him at odds with other characters and sub-plots throughout the show. On many occasions, Hank’s approach to work often clashes with other characters who go out of their way to avoid hard work or seek to make as much money as they can for as little effort as possible.

His son, Bobby Hill, often embodies that sentiment and not just because he’s terrible in gym class. In multiple episodes, Bobby’s fondness of laziness is not very subtle. When faced with the prospect of having to work hard, he usually does what he can to avoid it. More often than not, trying to avoid the work backfires or ends up being more laborious than the work itself.

He’s not the only one who harbors this attitude. Hank’s loud-mouthed neighbor, Kahn Souphanousinphone, attempts more than one get-rich-quick-scheme throughout the show. To him, work is always a means to an end. Even though his job affords him more money and better material assets, or so he claims, he rarely comes off as fulfilled as Hank.

Even when money isn’t the endgame, others still approach work with a different end in mind. Hank’s wife, Peggy, approaches her job as a substitute teacher with more passion and purpose than most. For her, though, the work she does is less about the money and more about feeding her inflated ego. In some cases, it borders on outright narcissism.

Regardless of intent or goal, “King of the Hill” often comes back to the same theme with respect to work. Hank, for all his faults and shortcomings, has the right attitude when it comes to work. It’s not just about having your dream job and doing what you love for a living. It’s about seeing work as inherently fulfilling, regardless of money or material aspirations.

At a time when the future of work will likely change what it means to have a career, Hank Hill may very well be ahead of his time. Even in the current work climate, his has major value. It’s a perspective that most kids and teenagers don’t appreciate. For some, it may not even be an idea they’ve ever contemplated, the notion that a job could be so inherently fulfilling.

It may still seem like an impossible ideal for many, but Hank Hill shows that it’s not that impossible. Selling propane and propane accessories isn’t one of those jobs that requires a rare set of skills or talents. It requires only basic people skills, salesmanship, and a working knowledge of propane.

Hank didn’t go to college and he didn’t go through some rigorous training to achieve what he achieved. He simply took a simple job selling propane and propane accessories and made it part of his passion. Even in an animated world where impossible things can happen, Hank makes his approach to his job feel attainable, even in the real world.

Appreciating Hank’s work ethic was not the first thing that appealed to me when I watched “King of the Hill” when it was still on the air. However, as I get older and see people wrestle with their careers, I see more and more merit to Hank’s approach to work.

I don’t deny that hard work can be tedious, at times. I also don’t deny that every job, even so-called dream jobs, have bad days every now and then. Even Hank has a few bad days at Strickland Propane throughout the course of the show. That still never discourages him from doing his job as well as he does it and getting genuine fulfillment from it.

There are plenty of lesson in “King of the Hill” that are as relevant now as they were when the show first aired. It’s possible for people of all ages to appreciate those lessons and the comedy that comes with it. That’s part of what made the show so successful for so many years.

When it comes to work ethic and approaching a career, Hank Hill stands out more than most. He sells propane and propane accessories better than anyone has or probably ever will, but that’s not the point. For him, the work itself is the greatest reward. Whether you appreciate his many other quirks or not, that’s a sentiment worth respecting.

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A Devilishly Sexy Promo For “Lucifer” Season 4

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Not long ago, fans of “Lucifer” like myself were upset by the news that Fox had canceled the show after three seasons. Then, in a miracle worthy of the devil himself, Netflix saved the show and gave it a fourth season. If that weren’t wondrously unholy enough, a teaser came out today that takes devilish sex appeal to a whole new level.

I could write a million of the sexiest novels. I’ll never be able to put into to words just how hot it is so I’ll just show it.

Whether you’re gay, straight, bi, trans, religious, or an ardent atheist, there’s no getting around it. Lucifer is sexy as hell in the most literal way possible. May 8, 2019 cannot come fast enough.

Yes, I realize that’s a poor choice of words. No, I do not care.

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