January 3, 2019 · 6:04 am

How Overturning Roe v. Wade Can (And Probably Will) Backfire

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As much as I dislike talking about abortion, I don’t deny that I’ve written more about it in the past year than I have since I started this website. I know that sends mixed messages, but I feel there are valid reasons for that.

I watch the news too, although never on a full stomach. I see the same thing everyone else sees with respect to the increasingly tenuous state of abortion rights. With each passing year, more and more restrictions are placed on abortion. As other parts of the world liberalize their laws, the United States is going in the opposite direction.

Now, in wake of shake-ups on the Supreme Court, it’s more likely than ever that Roe v. Wade, the case that legalized abortion nationwide in 1973, will be overturned. While I don’t think it’s guaranteed, I do think it’s possible. If I had to put betting odds on it, I would say that there’s a 50/50 chance that Roe v. Wade could be overturned by 2024.

If that happens, there are many implications. Many people who are more informed on this issue have already articulated as such. Making abortion illegal could lead to more unwanted pregnancy, increases in crime, increases in poverty, and serious health risks for women seeking back-alley abortions.

We’re already seeing some of these impacts play out in states where abortion is severely restricted. Several states have imposed so many restrictions that they’re down to only one abortion clinic. Due to these burdens, the impact on women, especially those who are poor, has been exceedingly harsh.

Those impacts are likely to intensify if Roe v. Wade is overturned, but I don’t want to get into that part of the issue. I also don’t want to focus on the legal issues, since I’m not a lawyer. Instead, I want to focus on unintended consequences.

I know that the anti-abortion crowd has this Utopian vision of a world after Roe v. Wade. They have this dream that the Supreme Court will overrule the 1973 decision and shortly after, every state will outlaw the procedure. They’ll throw a parade. They’ll proclaim to the world that they won.

Suddenly, women can no longer end an unwanted pregnancy. As a result, they have to start carrying their pregnancies to term. This will force the women, the men who impregnated them, and their families to take responsibility for their actions. They can no longer be sexually promiscuous. They now have to temper their behavior and live more restrained lives.

While nobody can predict the future, I can say without reservation that this dream will not come true. Human nature is never that simple, especially when it comes to law. Overturning Roe v. Wade will not end abortion. It will not make women carry more pregnancies to term. It will not lead to a society consistent with Pat Roberston’s values.

That’s because there’s one law that no court can ever overturn and that’s the law of unintended consequences. Make no mistake. There will be unintended consequences for overturning Roe v. Wade, many of which I doubt the anti-abortion movement has contemplated.

What follows are several unintended consequences of overturning Roe v. Wade that will make the anti-abortion crowd cringe. Whether they oppose abortion for religious reasons or for ethical reasons, these are consequences that will do more than taint that abortion-free fever dream of theirs. At the very least, I hope it gives those who oppose abortion a moment of pause.

Consequence #1: Abortion Will Become More Common (And Harder To Protest)

Remember when the United States banned marijuana and shortly after that, it disappeared? Neither do I because not only did that not happen, the exact opposite occurred. Marijuana has been illegal for nearly a century in the United States and it’s more popular now than it was in the days before “Refer Madness.”

Abortion is not like illicit drugs, but it’s subject to similar influences. In the same way making drugs illegal didn’t make them go away, making abortion illegal won’t make it disappear. It’ll only send it into the depths of the underground economy where the red tape that helps regulate the procedure doesn’t exist.

The history of “back alley abortions” is already well-documented. On top of that, these locations are not clinics where people can gather and protest. That’s what happens when you send something into the shadows. It’s harder to see, study, and scrutinize. In that environment, abortion won’t just become more dangerous. It may become more common because the traditional barriers for entry aren’t there.

If you think that seems like a stretch, just consider the choices involving marijuana. Would you rather try to sneak into a liquor store with security cameras or buy it in a dark alley from someone who has just as much incentive to avoid cops?

Consequence #2: Organized Religion’s Decline Will Accelerate

Even though the influence of religion remains strong, the steady decline of religion is well-documented. This is especially true among the younger generations who are more educated and informed than any generation before them. As a result, they will notice when religious groups take credit for banning abortion.

While those same groups often present themselves as saving babies, that’s not how everyone else will see it. We already live in a world where every racist, misogynistic, theocracy-loving sermon is captured on the internet. The same people who are becoming less religious will have even more reason to resent organized religion.

They won’t see the religiously-motivated, anti-abortion crusaders as holy people who saved innocent babies. They’ll see those people the same way we see those who used religion to justify slavery and racial segregation. Unlike previous years, being non-religious isn’t nearly as taboo and for organizations that rely heavily on adherents giving them money, that’s a big problem.

Consequence #3: An Entire Political Party Will Become The Anti-Woman Party

In the same way banning abortion could accelerate organized religion’s decline, a sizable chunk of the political spectrum could take a similar hit. In the United States, it’s primarily conservatives who oppose abortion and frequently side with religious institutions. They too probably see banning abortion as protecting innocent babies.

Again, that’s not how others will see it. Instead, an emerging generation will see conservatives as the party that put a gun to the head of every pregnant woman and demanded that she endure nine months of bodily rigor to have a child she may not be able to afford. Since women vote and make up half the population, it doesn’t bode well for their ability to win support in the future.

Women already disproportionately lean liberal and banning abortion will likely widen that gap. History shows that it’s hard for any party to overcome those gaps and stay in power. As I’ve noted before, this already played out in the 1960s in Romania. Conservatives would be wise to heed that lesson because that did not end well for the communist party and its leader.

Consequence #4: More Advanced Contraceptives Will Emerge Faster (For Women And Men)

One of the most confounding aspects of the anti-abortion movement is how much certain segments of the movement also oppose contraception. It’s downright hypocritical since education and contraceptive use has definitively shown time and again that it’s the most effective way to reduce abortions.

The fact that the anti-abortion crowd so rarely promotes those policies implies that a sizable chunk of that movement is less concerned about babies and more concerned about sex. I’ve tried to distinguish this crowd from the more sincere segments of the movement, but the lines have become more blurred in recent years.

Those lines might become a lot clearer if abortion were banned nationwide because that suddenly makes the contraception market a lot more valuable. At the moment, there isn’t much incentive to improve on the current contraceptives we have. Granted, they’re much more effective than they were before 1973, but there’s still room for improvement.

Without Roe v. Wade, the need for those improvements will be far greater and it won’t just be focused on women. Contraception for men will also get a boost because unlike 1973, there are more laws in place affecting men with issues like child support. For once, men will have to be just as vigilant about avoiding unwanted pregnancy.

This means emerging technology like the male birth control pill and Vasalgel will get a sizable boost in investment. It also means long-term, more-effective birth control like IUDs for women will get a boost as well. When the same anti-abortion crowd starts protesting that, they’ll reveal just how little they cared for babies in the first place.

Consequence #5: Promiscuous Sex Will Increase (For Entirely New Reasons)

This could also be a direct result of the boost contraception research will get from banning abortion. It’s not just because people will have access to more effective contraception, though. This is one of those backlashes that has more to do with social forces than logistical forces.

For those who are sexually active and value their sexual freedom, overturning Roe v. Wade will come off as a direct personal attack. If you’ve been on the internet for more than five minutes, you know people rarely take personal attacks lying down. They’re more likely to fight back and do the exact opposite of what you hope.

In the same way people in a debate double down on their beliefs in a heated argument, those who supported Roe v. Wade will have another reason to engage in the kind of reckless behavior that the anti-abortion crowd hates. To them, it won’t just be a form of protest. It’ll be a form of trolling.

People already have plenty of reasons to have sex just for the fun of it. No government or religious institution has ever been able to stop that and banning abortion certainly won’t do the trick. While it’s true that banning abortion will make promiscuity more dangerous, it’s also true that people are attracted to danger. If it pisses off someone you already despise, then that’s just a bonus.

Consequence #6: Providing Abortion Services Will Become More Lucrative (And Harder To Regulate)

For every unintended consequence, there’s usually a basis in money. Even for issues that are fueled with high emotions and deeply-held beliefs, it often comes back to money. That’s why the drug war can never be won. That’s why Disney will never stop making movies with singing animals. It’s all about the money.

Abortion, in its current form, is not a huge money-making venture. It’s treated like a medical service. However, put it in the same black market as illicit drugs and suddenly, the profit margins go way up. Remove it from the current medical infrastructure and all the regulations that keep it from being profitable go with it.

Instead of skilled, licensed doctors doing this procedure, people with questionable qualifications can get into the mix. On top of that, they can charge as much or as little as they want without the AMA or the FDA condemning them. That’ll make it more dangerous, but if there’s money to be made, it’ll happen.

Remember, making abortion illegal doesn’t make the women seeking abortion disappear. If they’re desperate enough, they’ll brave that danger and they’ll pay that price. Those willing to navigate that danger and exploit those situations will gain the tax-free profit. For the anti-abortion crowd and the government, it’s lose-lose.

Consequence #7: An Entire Generation Will Despise Its Elders (And Their Traditions)

Throughout history, younger generations have rebelled against older generations. You don’t need to single out the hippie generation of the 1960s to see that. Young people and old people have always whined about each other. These days, you can’t go more than five minutes without seeing a story about how Millennials are ruining something we used to love.

With abortion, there is already an established divide. According to Pew, younger generations tend to be more pro-choice than older generations. On top of that, abortion laws are more likely to affect them because they’re still building their lives and they’re going to get horny/lonely along the way.

This same generation is already more accepting of things that older people resent. They’re more accepting of divorce, polyamory, homosexuality, and all sorts of sexual practices that make priests, monks, mullahs, and rabbis gag. It certainly doesn’t help that the people in power deciding these issues are often old men who will never need an abortion. In terms of optics, it’s a pretty ugly sight.

It won’t just stop at young people distancing themselves from organized religion. It won’t stop at distancing themselves from a political party, either. Overall, the emerging generations will see their elders as the ones who stripped them of a right that they got to enjoy all their lives. That doesn’t just paint them in a negative light. It turns their values and traditions into a target.

Young people don’t need many reasons to rebel against their elders, but this is bigger than someone who can’t work a cell phone. This is an issue that affects the ability of an entire generation to make choices about their bodies, their sexuality, and their future. When another generation takes that away from them, it’s going to evoke more than ridicule. It may get pretty damn ugly.

As always, I want to remind everyone that this is just speculation. I can’t predict the future and there’s no telling what other factors may emerge in this exceedingly controversial issue. That said, I still feel comfortable stating that overturning Roe v. Wade will have consequences, many of them unintended. Some will be minor, but some will result in a full-fledged backlash. It’s just a matter of how we’ll deal with them.

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January 2, 2019 · 9:29 am

Daily Sexy Musing: Love On A Chilly Day

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I’m not a fan of bitter cold weather. Any kind of weather that causes genitals to shrivel is not appealing in my book. I prefer weather that renders clothing optional and flip-flops the only necessary footwear. Having lived through one too many blizzards, I have every intention of retiring to a tropical climate after I sell enough novels.

That said, I don’t deny that cold weather can facilitate certain sexy activities. When it gets cold outside, we naturally seek out any source of warmth. Some are left with blankets and extra layers of clothes. Others are lucky enough to have a lover to keep them warm. It’s that kind of warmth that brings out the sexier side of the weather.

With the holidays upon us and plenty of cold days ahead of us, this is as good a time as any to start enjoying those intimate moments that chilly weather makes possible. Get some blankets, pour some hot cocoa, and cuddle up on the couch because it’s going to be a long winter. That doesn’t mean it can’t be sexy and I hope this Daily Sexy Musing can help provide a spark. Enjoy!

The sun is out, but its heat can’t find us. Cold air subsumes the light, spreading harsh cold in every direction. Gone are the days when little thought or clothing was necessary to venture outside. The leaves and flowers have withered, having succumbed to the changing seasons. We remain, but we intend to endure.

We close the windows.

We lock the doors.

We keep plenty of blankets at arm’s reach.

Even with preparation, mere shelter is not enough. To endure the cold is one thing. To prosper within it is quite another. Alone, we can only do so much. Together, we can defeat this seasonal foe.

We’re done longing for the hot summer days when a quiet moment took little effort. The crisp frost has already descended upon us. Snow will soon follow. Short days and long nights await us, but we’re ready. The season will not be our burden. Instead, it will be our strength.

Rather than curse the season, we celebrate.

Rather than lament the past, we forge the future.

Rather than mourn the burden, we embrace the challenge.

I grab some blankets. You grab some cocoa. Together, we make our way to the couch. We slip under the covers and embrace. Our touch provides a spark. Body heat compounds body heat. I warm you up. You warm me. From soothing warmth, a new heat emerges.

Touching becomes caressing.

Soothing becomes seduction.

Cuddling becomes foreplay.

A new energy finds us and a new lust guides us. No longer an obstacle, the cold becomes a catalyst. Rather than hinder our passion, it enhances it. Sharing our love brings great comfort, but making love brings greater satisfaction.

In defiance of the weather, we shed our clothes and merge our flesh. Within our domain, we create our own season. It’s always warm, wet, and soothing. Even under the harshest winds, we work up a sweat of passion. The cold makes us work harder. More work emboldens our love. In the warmth of our shared passion, winter doesn’t stand a chance.

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January 1, 2019 · 8:35 am

“The Countdown” A Sexy Short Story For New Years

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First off, Happy New Year, everybody! I hope everyone had a great holiday. The following is a sexy short story I wrote to help usher in the new year with a bang, among other things. Enjoy!

“It’s almost time, Violet,” said Evan Jose intently. “Are you ready?”

“Almost,” replied Violet, his equally excited wife. “How much longer do we have?”

“Fifteen minutes,” he told her. “Hurry up! I’m ready to end this year with a bang.”

“You and me both, my darling.”

Evan was already breathless, feeling an energy and excitement he didn’t usually feel so close to midnight. Both he and his wife weren’t big on late night activities. They hadn’t been since college. Getting older, getting married, and building successful careers made it challenging to enjoy the kinds of midnight antics that once defined their reckless youth.

However, for one special night, they made an exception. On New Years Eve, just before the clock struck midnight, he and Violet went out of their way to preserve a special tradition that began shortly after they started dating. It had a simple premise, but carried a great deal of meaning for their relationship and their love.

“I found it!” Violet said as she rushed into the living room, carrying a mid-sized box in her arms. “It was stuck between that oversized TV box I told you to throw away…twice, if I recall.”

“Shit, I knew I forgot something this morning,” Evan grumbled. “Don’t worry. I’ll make it up to you.”

“I know you will. Now, help me with this. The clock is ticking!”

She was right and Evan didn’t need further motivation. Moving quickly, he opened the box with her and pulled out the same air mattress they had used at the same time last year. Having already moved the coffee table to the side, Evan spread it out over the living room floor while Violet activated the pump.

Their eyes constantly drifted towards the TV and the clock. They had coverage of the annual New Years celebration in New York City, complete with the traditional ball drop to usher in the new year. For most people, it was a formality and a mindless media spectacle. For him and Violet, though, it represented so much more.

With every passing second, their anticipation heightened. After laying the mattress out, Violet attached the air pump so that the bed could inflate. The stage was officially set. That left only a few minor details.

“We’re officially back on schedule,” Violet said.

“Looks like it,” said Evan as he watched the bed inflate. “You know what that means, right?”

“Yep! Time to ditch these itchy clothes.”

Violet couldn’t shed her shirt and pants fast enough, stripping down to her bra and panties with an eagerness that rivaled their honeymoon. Seeing his beautiful wife strip down, revealing that she wore the same sexy lace underwear he’d bought her for Christmas, was enough to a special passion in any man. He quickly did the same, stripping down to his boxers and tossing his clothes across the room.

Now in their underwear, the light of the TV and their Christmas tree illuminating their living room, Evan approached his wife with the same bravado he’d shown the night he proposed. Coincidentally, that night had also been New Years Eve and was a major part of why they valued their tradition.

“We did it, Violet. We made it through another year,” Evan said as he embraced her in his loving arms.

“We did,” she said in that extra-seductive tone of hers. “This one was tough. Work got hectic. My dad still refuses to retire. Your sister got divorced.”

“And all that happened before summer. Don’t forget our Labor Day trip that went horribly wrong.”

“You mean the one that involved you breaking three ribs because you thought you could ski better than your cousin?”

“Don’t remind me,” he muttered. “That was just a really nasty bruise. Then, there’s me having to work overtime on Thanksgiving. There’s my uncle hitting us up for money. There’s that promotion I didn’t get.”

“There were plenty of setbacks. That’s for sure,” she conceded.

“But there were a lot of good days in between,” Evan pointed out, cupping her chin and holding her closer. “No matter how rough things got or how many things went wrong, you and I got through it. Coming home to you, being with you, and sharing those burdens…it made this year feel like a success.”

“While the extent of that success is debatable,” Violet said as she playfully pawed his chest, “the results speak for themselves. We’re still here. You’re still my husband and I’m still you’re wife. And I’m ready to cap off this year the same way we capped off the last one!”

Evan grinned, his embrace growing bolder as he trailed his hands down her half-naked form, feeling up her womanly curves. The mention of their previous New Years celebration brought back fond and vivid memories.

It had been in the same room under the same scenario, complete with an inflated air mattress and the TV blaring coverage of the New Years festivities in New York. That moment was the most recent of a long string of New Years Eve moments that he and Violet had forged together. It started as a playful game back when they had started dating, making love in the final minutes of the year. Then, they did it again the next year and the year after that.

Whether by fate or effort, it helped deepen their love. Now, they were prepared to carry that love into another year and, as the final countdown commenced, their desires escalated to a familiar intensity. After checking the clock on the TV, their favorite New Years celebration could begin.

“I love you so much, Evan,” said Violet, her gaze radiating with passion.

“I love you too, Violet,” said Evan intently.

“Well, you’ve got ten minutes left of this year to prove it!”

“Ten minutes, huh? That should be enough!”

The countdown had officially begun. Their favorite holiday tradition could finally commence. Evan didn’t let a second go to waste.

With a potent blend of urgency and passion, he kissed his wife on the lips. It wasn’t a soft, gentle kiss. It was hard and direct, reflecting the intense desire he had for her…a desire that he had only ten minutes to express. Having prided himself on being an efficient lover, Evan quickly escalated his affections.

As their lips meshed, he felt up her womanly curves, tracing a path up her thighs until he reached her heart-shaped butt. Violet returned the favor, twirling his tongue with his and pawing his exposed upper body with more intent. Shortly after grabbing hold of her butt, she slipped a hand over his boxers, which already had a significant bulge. Despite the growing urgency, their desires were perfectly aligned.

“The bed,” Evan gasped in between the kissing.

Violet responded with a soft purr, followed by more aggressive foreplay. She gave the bulge in his boxers a hard squeeze while deepening their embracing, making it so her breasts pressed right up against his chest. That sent a clear signal to Evan and he responded in kind.

Showing off the kind of masculine strength that often drove her wild, he picked her up in his arms. On instinct, she hitched her legs around his waist and grabbed onto his neck. Now supporting her entire weight, Evan laid her down on the air mattress that had since finished inflating. With a quick peak at the TV, he saw that time was still ticking away. That prompted more urgent foreplay.

“The underwear…so itchy,” Violet said, her every word laced with seduction.

“That’s an easy fix,” Evan replied in his manliest tone.

Working quickly, he unclasped his wife’s lace bra and slipped it off with ease, exposing those beautiful, voluptuous breasts of hers. His first instinct was to take them in his hands and bury his face in them, but time was a factor. He had to be efficient with his passions.

He still shoved his face between them, evoking a playful laugh from Violet as he slipped his hands down to her waist and grasped the sides of her panties. Like a man on a mission, he slid them down her thighs and she eagerly lifted her hips to get them off. She showed just as much intensity, reaching for his boxers and trying to pull them off. She would’ve torn them off had he not slipped out of them shortly after tossing her panties aside.

“Mmm…that’s better!” she said, her gaze narrowing on his semi-erect manhood.

“Still room for improvement,” Evan pointed out.

“Yes. There is!”

More intense kissing and heated foreplay continued. Naked skin meshed with naked skin. Violet’s bare breasts pressed up against his chest. His growing manhood rubbed up against her thigh. Her hand – the same one that had been fondling his arousal through his boxers, no less – quickly found its way to his manly flesh.

The feeling of her loving touch didn’t just accelerate the flow of blood in all the right directions. It added even more incentive to cap the year off in a way that was both memorable and blissful.

“Ooh! Feels like you’re ready, my love,” Violet purred.

“The clock is ticking,” Evan told her. “You ready too?”

“Are you kidding? Let’s start the fireworks!”

Traditionally, people waited until after midnight to start the fireworks. He and Violet had their own special tradition and theirs was a lot more fun. Another quick check of the TV showed that they were right on schedule. In the spirit of their sexy tradition, Evan lit the proverbial fuse and positioned himself over his wife.

She eagerly parted her legs and welcomed him into another deep embrace. Holding onto her hips for leverage, he guided his rigid flesh to her waiting womanhood. She was every bit as aroused as him, her outer folds so wet with juices. With the same urgency and desire that had ignited their special tradition, Evan entered her with a single thrust, their flesh uniting in the final moments of the year.

“Ohhh yes!” Violet gasped. “Evan…I feel you inside me.”

“Oh Violet…so beautiful,” Evan moaned.

In a burst of focused, yet festive passion, he began making love to his wife. He put in extra effort, working his body against hers in a steady procession of movements. Manly sinews meshed with feminine curves. Naked skin grinding against naked skin as his rigid manhood slithered within her hot womanly depths.

Grunts and groans soon filled the room, drowning out the countdown to the new year. Every ounce of energy and attention was focused that singular act, turning the love they felt into a tangible feeling.

“Evan! Ooh Evan!” she panted.

It was music to his ears, by far his favorite holiday tune. Evan evoked more of it, kissing down her neck and caressing her womanly curves as he rocked her body with his movements. She did plenty to share in the effort, raking her fingers over his shoulders and digging the balls of her feet into his lower back, supplementing his every movement.

Together, they rocked the flimsy air mattress and the world around them. Pants and gasps mixed with joyous laughter as their lovemaking became more playful. They rolled around together, making love in different positions at different angles. She got on top at one point and rode him like a sex goddess. At another, he pinned her on her side and tickled her toes as he thrust into her at an angle.

He and Violet always enjoyed mixing things up, especially on nights when they had passion to spare. On New Years Eve, they always made sure to have a little extra and made sure to channel it in just the right ways. As the waning minutes of the holiday ticked by, their ability to express their love faced one last test for the year.

“Violet…I’m close,” Evan gasped, steading his movements for that final push.

“Me too, Evan,” Violet panted. “We’re…going to cut it close!”

“I’m game…if you are.”

“You know I am, babe!”

A quick glance at the TV confirmed what they already sensed. They were down to their final minute of the year. The big flashy ball in New York City was starting to drop, counting down the remaining seconds of the year.

In anticipation of that moment, he and Evan shifted their bodies in order to watch, as per the tradition. Violet got on her hands and knees. Evan positioned himself behind her, grabbing hold of her waist before thrusting his member back inside her and resuming their sex. Once again, he channeled his love and energy into the loving act. He also used what he knew about his lover’s sexual proclivities to ensure they shared in the fruits of their efforts.

As their naked bodies rocked, he slipped one hand between her legs and fondled the most sensitive areas of her womanly flesh. He knew just how to touch her and how to bring her to the brink. It was a testament to his dedication, as well as their love of getting intimate.

“Oohhh yes! Just like that, Evan!” she gasped. “Just…like that!”

Violet reacted with equal dedication, bucking her hips and moving with him in perfect harmony. She was ready to embrace the coming ecstasy and so was he. However, to complete their favorite tradition, they had to make sure it was the first thing they felt in the new year. As the ball on the TV screen descended and the clock ticked, they counted down those final moments with so many other.

“5…4…3…2…1…Happy New Year!”

In that special moment of transition from one year to the next, he and Violet achieved orgasm. It was as close to simultaneous as two dedicated lovers could get. Together, they let out a cry of delight that ushered in the new year in the best possible way. His member throbbed and her inner muscles contracted in release of shared ecstasy. Waves of pleasure rippled between them, their love manifesting in a real feeling that they conjured at just the right moment.

It was uniquely satisfying, their mutual climax being the first feeling they experienced in the new year. As the fireworks and confetti dropped in New York City, he and Violet just soaked in the feeling. With their flesh still entwined, Violet rose up so he could embrace her once more. Even through labored breaths, they shared a loving kiss to complete the tradition and celebrate their love for another year.

“Happy New Year, my darling,” Evan said to her.

“Happy New Year, my love,” Violet said. “I can’t wait to make this year better.”

“Me too,” he said with a smile. “Once again, we started it off with a bang!”

“It’s the best way to start and end any holiday.”

“Amen to that!”

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January 1, 2019 · 12:26 am

Happy New Year 2019!

To everyone out there, their families, and their lovers, I wish you a happy and sexy New Year. I’m looking forward to making 2019 the most awesome year it can be.

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December 31, 2018 · 12:19 am

Six New Years Resolutions For 2019 (That Will Help Everybody)

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It’s that time of year again. By that, I mean it’s the time when people either bemoan how few of their New Years resolutions they accomplished this past year and try to convince themselves they’ll do better next year. I’m not knocking the concept. I’m as guilty of that as the next person who dares to set goals at the end of every year.

I like to think I’ve accomplished a thing or two, but 2018 was rough for me. It’s not just that I was unable to find a new publisher for my outstanding manuscripts. When 2018 began, “Passion Relapse” and “Rescued Hearts” were my only published novels. I’d hoped to add at least one, but that didn’t pan out. I tried to make up for it by writing over two dozen sexy short stories, but I’m still determined to further publishing efforts.

Beyond my publishing endeavors, though, I underwent some pretty major upheavals. A very close family member of mine passed away, which was incredibly difficult. There were a few other major life events that I’d prefer not to share just yet. While 2018 had plenty of high points, the low points were especially painful.

Be that as it may, I’m more ready than most to close the book on 2018 and work on making 2019 much better. While I have my share of resolutions that I’d like to achieve, I would also like to contemplate resolutions that society, as a whole, can strive to achieve in 2019.

Let’s face it, we had some pretty bad moments in 2018. There’s a lot of room for improvement in 2019. I’m not saying humanity can fix all its problems in one year, but striving to do better is always worth doing. What follows are six New Years resolutions for humanity in 2019. Some are more ambitious than others, but I think these are minor steps we can take to making 2019 the best year it can be.

Resolution #1: Learn To Channel Selective Outrage For More Productive Purposes

This could’ve easily been a resolution for 2018, as well. It’ll likely be a resolution for years to come because, as I’ve noted before, getting exceedingly outraged over trivial matters has become a pastime, of sorts, for people these days. The internet and social media is just the platform. People are the ones who stoke the fires.

Whether it’s controversy over Jennifer Lawrence’s dress or getting all up in arms about old jokes from famous comedians, people seem to get outraged over exceedingly petty things. Now, I’m not saying that people shouldn’t get riled up, but there are some things that just aren’t worth the emotional energy.

Who hosts the Oscars or old tweets from a decade ago do not warrant this kind of attention in the marketplace of ideas. Scandals about big companies illegally harvesting user data or children being forcibly separated from their parents are more deserving of such outrage. There are things worth getting upset about and celebrity attire isn’t one of them.

For 2019, I think we’ll do everyone a favor by channeling our outrage into something that actually warrants it. It can’t just be about what celebrities do or whether certain video game characters are too sexy. There’s plenty of room to channel our outrage into something more productive.

Resolution #2: Stop Taking Certain Celebrities Seriously

This is closely tied to the first resolution, but I thought it deserved a resolution of its own. Let’s face it. Our culture is obsessed with celebrities. We have been since long before the rise of mass media. It’s not going to stop in 2019, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be more diligent with how we obsess over celebrities.

Specifically, we can go out of our way to ignore certain individuals whose rhetoric is barely discernible from typical trolls. I’m talking about the Lena Dunhams and Ted Nugents of the world. These are not serious people with serious ideas. They’re celebrities who pretend to know what they’re talking about and not very well.

There are plenty of respectable celebrities worth following and admiring. While the assholes may make the news, there are celebrities out there who do genuinely good things and they deserve true admiration. We can do both them and the world a favor by not giving so much attention to those who don’t deserve it.

When in doubt, just follow someone like Ryan Reynolds.

Resolution #3: Focus On Future Possibilities Rather Than Past Transgressions

There are a lot of factors that fuel outrage, controversy, and what not. One that often comes up involves past transgressions and for good reason. Historically, people have been committing horrific atrocities on one another due to differences in race, religion, sexual orientation, and gender. These actions are objectively awful. Nobody can deny that.

That said, focusing on them and bemoaning them constantly does nothing to honor the victims or reduce the potential for similar atrocities. We can’t change the past. We can only learn from it. The crimes, be they the horrific treatment of a particular race or the actions of a particular individual, cannot be undone. We can prosecute them and, if possible, we should.

However, there comes a point where focusing so much on past crimes becomes less about learning from them and more about whining. I see it a lot in debates surrounding race and gender. One race or gender bemoans how horrible they had been treated in the past and use that to justify their sentiments in the present. That’s not a productive use of history.

That’s because whining is never productive. It’s true. Things in the past weren’t very pleasant for a lot of people, especially if they were a minority. There’s no way to change that. Many of the victims and perpetrators are long dead and can never be held accountable. While that clashes with our innate sense of injustice, it’s not something we can change.

That’s why it’s important to focus on the future rather than whining about the past. We can’t change the past, but we can shape the future. We can do things that’ll make the world better for everybody, regardless of their minority status. Whining, however, is not one of those things.

Resolution #4: Celebrate Good More Than Emphasizing Bad

You don’t have to look far to see some pretty awful things happening in the world. Those awful things are usually the first thing to make the news. The whole “if it bleeds, it leads” mantra has a lot of distressing truth to it.

Even though 2018 had plenty of horrific news, there were genuine bright spots. Did you know that charitable giving reached record highs this past year? Did you know crime rates are tending downward in almost every major city? Did you know science developed a drought-resistant rice that could potentially feed millions? Did you know that Jean Grey finally came back from the dead in the X-men comics after a 15-year absence?

That last one was for me, as a life-long X-men fan. However, the point is still valid. There was a lot of good news that happened in 2018, in terms of society and civilization. Even in genuinely awful stories, you can find bits of hope here and there. You don’t even have to look too hard. The news is there, if you’re willing to find it.

That’s a resolution I think is worth pursuing, even if horrific news still gets our attention. The good will never shock us as much, but it will evoke all the right emotions. I strongly believe in having faith in humanity. I’ve explained why on a few occasions. I think we would do ourselves and our futures a favor by celebrating that good rather than agonizing over the bad.

Resolution #5: Laugh At Absurdities Instead Of Making Them Controversies

Beyond the good news and the bad news, 2018 had plenty of weird news as well. Granted, a lot of them came from Florida, but the principle is the same. Regardless of whether you think people are inherently good or bad, most can agree they do weird things. You can either lament for the future of our species or just laugh at it.

As it turns out, laughing is a lot healthier. It helps make difficult or strange situations easier to process. Let’s face it, we’re always going to have plenty of those, even if you don’t live in Florida. The best thing we can do is laugh, even if it’s not that funny. It’s something we should do plenty of in 2019 because 2018 showed a marked decline in peoples’ sense of humor.

There were controversies about jokes in the past and jokes that were in poor taste. Granted, not all of these jokes were funny, but making them into these big controversies about race, gender, and what not didn’t help. All it did was fuel contrived outrage over issues that didn’t need any extra fodder.

People are going to tell bad jokes. We can’t be as funny or as smart as George Carlin or Richard Pryor. People are going to get offended too, but that can’t be the sole basis for a controversy. Being offended is not a serious injury and offending someone is not a crime. If faced with the option of laughing it off or making a big deal out of something comes up in 2019, let’s just err on the side of laughter.

Resolution #6: Focus On What We Can Control Instead Of Agonizing Over What We Can’t Control

This is something that become a major talking point in 2018 and, at times, for the right reason. There was a lot of whining, especially in the world of outrage culture and politics. However, there was a bit more emphasis on what to actually do about it. Specifically, there was a huge push to urge people to vote in the mid-term elections. That effort, as frustrating as it was at times, paid off.

Voter turnout in the 2018 Midterm Elections was the highest it had been since the mid-1960s. The results paid off. People wanted change, there was a process for implementing that change, and they did it. That’s how we progress in a functioning society. It’s not always as extensive as we prefer, but it’s still progress.

This was in stark contrast to those who whine constantly about what one particular gender or race has done in the past. Like I said in the previous resolution, we can’t change the past. Whining about it won’t magically conjure a time machine or rewrite history. It’ll just incur pity, which is even less productive.

There are things we can do to help people. Do you want to help women who have been sexually abused? Contribute to legal funds that help them prosecute their abusers. Do you want to help save the environment? Consider donating to the World Wildlife Fund or invest in green energy. Do you want to help victims of atrocities? Consider donating or volunteering for the Red Cross or Amnesty International.

These actions constitute meaningful change in a world that still needs it. Your money and your time are tangible assets that can do real help. Whining doesn’t help and neither does contrived outrage. We live in a complicated world where a lot of things are out of our control. By focusing on what we can control, we can make 2019 the best year it can possibly be and I’m ready to do my part.

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December 30, 2018 · 12:03 am

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: New Years 2019 Edition

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Christmas has come and gone. That means we’re almost done with 2018. For me, this year can’t end soon enough. It has been a pretty rough year for me. I’ve shared some of the reasons for that. This past summer, someone very close to me passed away and dealing with it was a lot more difficult than I can put into words.

There were other issues that came up that I’d rather not discuss, but I’m very eager to put them behind me. I’ve had my share of difficult years in the past. While 2018 won’t go down as one of the worst, it’s definitely one of those years that I’d rather not repeat. There were some bright spots, like a glut of awesome superhero movies, but there were many other moments I’d rather forget.

I certainly hope this year was better for everyone else than it was for me. Even if it wasn’t, that’s all the more reason to embrace the arrival of 2019. I’ve always been someone who looks forward rather than dwell on the past and not just because I’m excited about the development of sex robots. I strongly believe that moving forward is the best way to frame the past in a better light.

Since this is the last batch of Sexy Sunday Thoughts for 2018, I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone who has been following this website and my various works. I intend to produce plenty more sexy content in 2019. For now, here’s one last gasp of sexiness to cap off this year. Enjoy!

“Orgasms are the only universally accepted gifts for any and all occasions.”

“A honeymoon is just a vacation built around a greater likelihood of getting laid.”

“Spending a bachelor party at a strip club is like starting a diet at a candy factory.”

“If food and sex are basic needs, then cooking is at least as important as foreplay.”

“To some extent, we value our health because it affords us the ability to make love.”

“When you think about it, making prostitution illegal is just an elaborate way to discourage shortcuts.”

“Like it or not, babies and orgasms will always be indirectly linked to some extent.”

I hope that got everyone excited about 2019, among other things. I don’t know about you, but I’m eager to close out 2018 as quickly as possible and move forward. I’m ready to start making 2019 the greatest and sexiest year to date. Whether you feel the same or not, I wish everyone a very Happy New Year.

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December 29, 2018 · 6:21 am

When Fighting For Equality Is Counterproductive

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Have you ever met someone who is just inherently better at something than you? No matter how hard you practice, you just can’t reach their level. They’re still better. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that we all have to learn at some point, but I worry that some people are trying to put that lesson off while others are trying to outright subvert it.

In general, the intent is noble. The world is full of horrendous inequality. There’s wealth inequality, gender inequality, and even inequality in representation within superhero comics. While we have done a lot in the century to reduce inequality, there’s still plenty of room for improvement.

For the most part, people support those efforts. You won’t find many people who aren’t enjoying a fat inheritance that will say outright they want less equality. Segregation, rigid caste systems, and the dehumanization of minorities is largely frowned upon for reasons I hope I don’t have to recount.

Seeking a more equal and just world is a perfectly respectable endeavor. For the most part, I support those efforts. I believe we should work towards a more egalitarian society where the rights and dignity of individuals are protected and respected. Even though we have laws in place, as well as principles espoused at an international level, we could do a better job at enforcing them.

With all that said, there’s still one burning question that I feel is worth answering. It relates directly to the first question I asked earlier and the harsh lesson it teaches us.

How much equality is actually possible?

It’s one of those questions that’s impossible to answer, but evokes many heated debates, regardless of politics or affiliation. Whether it’s economic issues or gender issues, these debates often devolve into one side calling the other a fascist or a bully. Every now and then, there’s some meaningful discourse and even a few novel ideas. In the era of outrage culture, though, this seems to be getting increasingly rare.

We’re at a point where even the slightest hint of inequality is deemed untenable.

Are there too few female superheroes in comic books? That’s not equal!

Are there too few people of color being cast in major move roles? That’s not equal!

Are there too few minorities in Forbes list of 100 richest people? That’s not equal!

Are there too few women in fields of science, medicine, and technology? That’s not equal!

Are there too few dating options for people who are disabled or obese? That’s not equal!

Are there too many beautiful women who only hook up with assholes? That’s not equal!

Are there too many handsome men who only date supermodels? That’s not equal!

I could list dozens of other situations that are grossly unequal. I purposefully omitted big ones like the gender wage gap and racial disparity in criminal arrests because these are cases that best highlight the logistics of promoting equality versus the ideals surrounding equality.

By law, it’s illegal to pay someone less because of their gender and has been since 1963. The courts have also historically ruled that it’s illegal to selectively enforce laws on the basis of race. These precedents are decades old and on the books for any lawyer to enforce. Why is there still so much inequality?

There are many reasons for that and I’m not smart enough to make sense of all of them. However, I think the mechanisms that continue to drive inequality can be best summed up by a terrible Jennifer Aniston movie from 2006 called “The Break-Up.” Yes, I know that sounds ridiculously random. I promise there’s a reason behind it and it relates to the underlying concept of equality.

In that movie, a couple is going through some nasty conflicts that are only mildly amusing at best. However, the most revealing quote from the movie, which also happens to be most relevant to this topic, is when Jennifer Aniston’s character tells her significant other this.

“I want you to WANT to do the dishes.”

It is, without question, an absurd statement that makes an unreasonable demand on someone she claims to love. It nicely sums up the entire conflict of the movie and effectively spoils the ending. These two are not in a functional relationship. In fact, if they had actually stayed together at the end, it would have been unhealthy for both of them.

That’s not because the relationship was unequal. It’s because both Jennifer Aniston’s character and Vince Vaughn’s character had very different ideas of what was “fair.” I put fair in quotes because it was an empty concept in this context. They didn’t just want equality in terms of roles, responsibilities, and privileges. They wanted equality of outcome and consequences.

That’s not just an unreasonable expectation. It’s a catalyst for outrage. It’s one thing to fight for legal equal protection, but fighting for equal outcomes and consequences is a losing battle. You’re better off trying to divert Niagara Falls by spitting at it. On top of that, it sets people up for disappointment and outrage.

The all-female remake of “Ghostbusters” was never going to make as much money or be as beloved as the original.

The push for less sexy video game characters was never going to improve gender relations in the gaming community.

Attempts to replace Iron Man with a 15-year-old black girl from Chicago was never going last for very long.

All these outcomes were fairly predictable, but still generated incredible outrage with people crying discrimination, racism, sexism, and every other kind of insult in keeping with Godwin’s Law. As a result, those still fighting for what they see as “fair” have to step up their game and push harder. That often means becoming more extreme in rhetoric, emotions, and tactics.

Since things like reality, facts, and basic human nature often get lost in extremes, it makes sense that we have such radical segments of the political and social spectrum. I believe most of them genuinely believe they’re fighting for greater equality and greater fairness, as they see it. A few are probably just genuine assholes looking for excuses to be bigger assholes, but they’re the minority.

To some extent, I can appreciate the intent and effort of those fighting for more equality. The world is still imperfect and humanity, as a whole, is exceedingly imperfect. Our collective history is riddled with injustices and atrocities of staggering proportions. We should strive to be better, as individuals and as a civilization. A part of that effort pursuing a society of equal rights, privileges, and responsibilities.

At the same time, some levels of inequality are unavoidable. Sometimes, it’s due to simple demographics. Sometimes, it’s due to the basic laws of biodiversity or sexual dimorphism. Sometimes, there are individuals that are just inherently better at you than something. I could practice basketball every hour of every day for the rest of my life. I’ll still never be as good as LeBron James.

That kind of equality is just not possible in the real world. Until we all become shape-shifting cyborgs, we can only be equal to a certain extent. Many sincere people disagree on where that extent is and where it should apply.

However, there’s a real danger in trying to achieve the impossible and getting upset whenever it’s not achieved. It doesn’t just suck up energy, ideas, and resources from other meaningful endeavors. It fosters hostility towards others and their ideas. In the same way Jennifer Aniston’s character couldn’t make her boyfriend want to do the dishes, we can’t make someone else want our idea of equality.

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December 28, 2018 · 12:11 am

Daily Sexy Musing: Lessons In Loving

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As kids, we don’t always appreciate learning as much as we should. It’s not because we’re adverse to the concept. It’s mostly because we associate learning with school and we associate school with learning about topics that rarely interest us. I honestly could not bring myself to be intrigued by the cause of the French Revolution.

As adults, learning takes on a very different concept and not just because we’re freer to learn about the things we want to learn about. We, as a species, are very curious. We’re interested in how things work. We like learning skills, mastering them, and even practicing them, to some extent. Why shouldn’t that be extended to making love?

It’s almost too logical. We find someone we love and seek intimacy with. We have a burning desire to express that love physically? From a logical, evolutionary, and personal standpoint, we have every conceivable incentive to do so. For that very reason, though, I’m somewhat dismayed that there’s still a taboo associated with learning how to make love.

Too many people just assume it’s something that happens, as though we instinctively know how to shoot a hook shot as soon as we touch a basketball. Like any skill, though, we must learn and practice. Unlike so many other skills and lessons, however, practice can be a lot of fun when it involves making love. I hope this Daily Sexy Musing will get all you lovers out there excited about learning again.

The bell has rung.

Class is in session.

Our bedroom is the lecture hall and the bed is the exam.

Unlike most classes, I show up on time. I come prepared, having done my homework and studied hard. I can do no less because you’re just as astute as I am. You don’t just want a passing grade. You want straight A’s and highest honors. I want that too, but it requires hard work, albeit the best kind of work.

We arrive in our official uniforms, which consists of our sexiest pair of underwear that we don’t mind ripping off, should the lesson require it. You have that glint in your eye, as if to let me know you studied extra hard. I did too. I’m confident I’ll achieve top marks, but I know you won’t make it easy for me. I wouldn’t even want you to.

The lesson begins.

I take you in my arms.

You whisper into my ear.

I now know what I must learn.

In an instant, the lesson becomes an exercise of skill. Knowledge becomes action. I start applying that knowledge directly, taking you in my arms and using what I know about my lover to earn the grades I seek. I recall your most sensitive areas, taking past lessons and using them to maximize every gesture.

Your joyous moans of approval show I’m applying them well. However, you earn your marks as well.

You kiss me in a way that evokes my greatest passions, touching and caressing my body as someone who truly knows my most intimate desires. It’s as though you did more than just remember my most sensitive areas. You know how and why they stimulate me so well. It’s the kind of knowledge that only a lover dares to learn.

Through learning, we gain skills. Together, we employ those skills to the utmost. Before long, the most intense part of the exam begins. We remove our uniforms and apply our lesson more directly. It turns into an exercise of passion, a perfect blend of lustful instincts and deeper emotions. Through exercise, we gain expertise and with it, the most intimate kind of learning.

You demonstrate your knowledge.

I continue demonstrating mine.

We both show how much we’ve learned.

We both earn passing grades.

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December 27, 2018 · 12:32 am

When Waiting Until Your Wedding Night To Have Sex Fails

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One of the most important decisions anyone can make for themselves is when they choose to have sex. Some seek to do it the first chance they get. Some prefer to wait until they’ve found that special someone with which they want to spend the rest of their lives. Most people render their decision within that vast gray area in between.

While we like to think society has become less uptight when it comes to sex, there’s still some lingering prudishness from centuries of taboos, traditions, and general ignorance. We’ve made a lot of progress from the days when we believed that a woman’s womb could become displaced and that male masturbation causes blindness, but there’s still a lot of room for improvement.

While everyone is different in how they approach their sex lives, the idea of waiting until marriage is still held up as an ideal. It’s the standard championed by religious zealots, social conservatives, and parents who just don’t want to think too much about the sex lives of their children. It’s also the cornerstone of abstinence only sex education, which is often the only sex education young people get.

Now, I’m not going to bemoan the ineffectiveness of this type of education. Many people far smarter and more resourceful than me have already studied just how damaging this approach can be for vulnerable youth. Instead, I want to focus on the actual merit behind this ideal championed by so many. The education programs may be ineffective, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be something to this ideal.

Like so many other things related to sex and human nature, the answer isn’t simple or straightforward. In fact, it’s a lot more complicated than the most religious conservative and the most lenient liberal will ever admit. That’s because people, in general, are complicated. The ideal that works for most people still won’t work for everyone. There are countless factors involved on whether waiting to have sex is a good idea.

You don’t have to look too far to find personal stories about people who regretted waiting until their wedding night to have sex. You also don’t have to look far to find stories from couples who claim waiting was beneficial. No matter what your sexual politics may be, you can find anecdotes supporting both sides of the spectrum and every point in between.

That said, there are a few common themes for those who regretted waiting and those who believe waiting benefited them in the long run. In the interest of simplifying the many complications that go into peoples’ sex lives, I think it’s worth highlighting the issues that made waiting the wrong decision for some couples.

Issue #1: They Waited For The Wrong Reasons

This is where religious and cultural influences often skew the decision. It’s also the issue in which shame, misplaced guilt, and taboos really warp a person’s attitude towards sex, love, and marriage. It’s one thing to want to wait until marriage because you’re not comfortable getting that intimate with someone too soon. It’s quite another when you wait because you’re afraid you’ll be punished by a prudish deity.

I’ve already noted before how religion can skew sexual attitudes to destructive extremes. There are more than a few stories about people who justified waiting with religion, only to regret it later on. This kind of impact tends to affect women more than men, but men aren’t immune from it either. Attitudes, believes, and misinformation can skew decisions regarding sex for all the wrong reasons.

At the end of the day, using religion as an excuse to wait is just that. It’s an excuse and not a reason. If it’s not in line with your actual desires, then it’s like trying to exercise by lifting bags of feathers. It’s not going to have the desired effects.

Issue #2: Expectations Not Matching Reality

Even without the religious or cultural influences, waiting until marriage is often framed as this big culmination for a relationship. It’s set up as this magical moment out of a fairy tale, albeit one that’s R-rated. Couples build up all this energy and anticipation, so much so that it skews the actual mechanics of sex.

This has led to more than a few awful wedding nights. Those issues are only compounded for people who didn’t get a good education on basic human anatomy. Not knowing what an orgasm or a clitoris is can be a huge liability for any couple wanting to have a memorable experience. Not knowing what a refractory period is can be just as awkward.

Beyond just making the first time anything but magical, it can negatively impact the course of an otherwise loving relationship. If all those expectations don’t pan out, then that undermines the confidence two people have in their relationship. For some people, it takes time and effort to develop a meaningful sex life and waiting can put them behind the curve.

Issue #3: Not Knowing (Or Communicating) Intimate Knowledge

This feeds off the issues that come with poor sexual education, but in a more intimate context. Even if you know how your partner’s genitals work and waited until marriage for non-religious reasons, there’s still a chance that the wedding night will end poorly.

This is where even comprehensive sex education comes up short. Those same teachers, preachers, and parents will say waiting until marriage is a good thing, but they won’t offer much advice on how to make it good after the wedding. The assumption is a couple will just figure it out and that’s a misguided assumption, to say the least.

Not knowing what your partner wants or even likes will make it difficult to have a satisfying sex life, even after the wedding night. Lingering taboos surrounding sex certainly don’t help. Maybe your partner finds out they like being on top. Maybe they like a certain position that’s awkward for you. Maybe they’re into kinky things that they didn’t realize.

Waiting until the wedding night to share this information can be a problem, among other things. It can also lead to a communications deficit between partners and that’s never good for a relationship.

Issue #4: Having Entirely Different Levels Of Desire

Say, for instance, one person has a veracious sex drive. They’re not going to be satisfied doing it twice a year on Valentine’s Day and their anniversary. They want to do it frequently and for extended periods of time. That’s just how their wired.

Now, imagine another person who is the exact opposite. They’re just not very sexual, by nature. They’re the kind of person who can have sex a few times a year with their partner and be perfectly satisfied. They don’t feel the need to do anything too elaborate. They’re just wired that way.

Given such disparity, do you think these two would be compatible lovers? Do you think it would help or hurt their relationship if they learned of their discrepancy in desire on their wedding night? Chances are that relationship will have some serious obstacles that may not be reconcilable.

Knowing your partner’s level of desire is a very important thing to communicate for any couple, married or not. Waiting until the wedding to even confront that issue is sure to compound those problems. If every functional relationship is built on good communication, then waiting in this context counts as a major oversight.

Issue #5: Not Understanding That A Good Sex Life Requires Effort

This goes right back to that magical fantasy that waiting until marriage is supposed to feed into. The idea that the first time will be mind-blowingly magical is akin to thinking you’ll play like LeBron James the first time you pick up a basketball. Like any skill or experience, you actually need to work on it. Just going over Lebron’s practice regimen is proof of that.

Thankfully, nature gives people plenty of incentive to practice making love. If orgasms and love aren’t good enough, then you’re just being difficult. However, for some couples who wait, the notion of practice almost seems strange. Those who end up having a bad wedding night tend to have negative expectations moving forward. Religious and cultural taboos only make it worse.

It’s odd how we understand the need to put in the work for so many other skills, but make this fanciful exception when it comes to sex. The idea of waiting until marriage and sex not being more meaningful just undermines the narrative. It makes for a nasty combination of flawed assumptions, inflated expectations, and intimate ignorance that make a satisfying wedding night next to impossible.

Even with all these issues, it’s still entirely possible for a couple to wait until their wedding night and still have a satisfying sex life. That certainly happens and I’ve even known some couples who took that approach. I’ve also known couples who didn’t wait until their wedding night, but still had a successful marriage.

Every couple is different. Every relationship is going to be subject to a wide range of complications and influences, be they cultural or personal. For some, waiting until the wedding night is the right decision. For others, it’s the worst decision they could make. Figuring it out is difficult and nobody wants to figure it out the hard way.

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December 26, 2018 · 8:32 am

Daily Sexy Musing: Brevity And Lovemaking

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When it comes to quality lovemaking, there’s this notion that it has to be long, drawn out, and elaborate. It can’t be over in a few minutes. That sort of thing tends to be fodder for dirty jokes than meaningful romance. Shows like “Married With Children” were built on a foundation of those jokes.

While I don’t deny the appeal and sexiness of extended lovemaking, I also think there’s a place for the quicker, more concise kind as well. I’m not just talking about quickies in a bathroom, either. I believe that brief, quick, and concise lovemaking has a place in the erotica/romance landscape. It’s trickier to build sexy stories around, but it can work.

I’ve toyed with that idea in some of my novels and sexy short stories. I think it’s an idea in need of refinement rather than crude humor. This Daily Sexy Musing is my way of showing that the concept can work. We all have so much going on in our lives. Not all lovemaking needs to be a test in endurance. Sometimes, even in acts of love, there’s something entirely fitting of brief, but passionate sexiness. Enjoy!

Our time is brief.

Our opportunities are fleeting, at best.

Through the chaos and toil, our love finds a way.

It cannot be constrained or circumvented. At some point during days of labor and toil, I’ll crave your loving embrace. Thoughts of our bodies entwined and entangled dance across my mind’s eye. They inspire me and motivate me, making even fleeting moments as precious as air or water.

No matter how determined or dedicated, though, we are still at the mercy of time. The world doesn’t make room for us, nor does it slow down when we finally have our chance. Each second passes us by at the same rate. The burden is on us to make them count. Every tick is finite, but our passions are not.

In one second, we find each other.

In another, we kiss.

In another, we shed our clothes.

In another, we unite our flesh.

No matter how intense, time continues to unfold. As such, we vent our passions with urgency. There can be no wasted breaths or lost moments. Together, we must focus. The sweet release we seek will not come to us. We must, instead, seize it as one.

We move quickly, but effectively.

We ascend rapidly, but smoothly.

We embrace firmly, but affectionately.

There’s no time to linger. Our love must be complete. We take the direct route, saving the elaborate paths for another day. I know all your shortcuts. You know mine. Together, we are locked in, focused on a singular act of love. When it arrives, we share in the feeling. We savor what we can, like the tiniest, tastiest treat.

It may end quickly, but it’s never forgettable. Whether spanning seconds or eons, the feeling is conveyed. The passions exchanged are clear. We made our love real and needed little time to do it. Brevity breeds efficiency and there’s no doubt, whatsoever. Our love is truly that efficient.

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