Happy April Fools Day (And A Warning)

Yes, it’s April Fool’s Day.

No, that’s not a holiday.

No, I didn’t write a sexy short story about it.

I don’t take this day seriously, but I know a number of people do. Some do it better than most. I even recounted one such story. Sadly, those stories aren’t as common as I wished.

Instead, April Fool’s Day has become one of those days where the news is even less trustworthy than usual and the dumbest crap goes viral for the stupidest possible reasons. It’s a crazy excuse for a non-holiday, is what I’m saying.

I’m still going to try and treat it like a serious day. I’ve still got stuff to write and sexy stories to tell. That said, I urge everyone to exercise extra caution on a day like today. Between the news having little credibility these days and too many people eager for a cheap laugh, there won’t be any shortage of jokes and pranks.

Now, with the exception of a new “Rick and Morty” episode, there’s not much that can make this day anything other than a bad joke. Please keep that in mind and be a little more vigilant about what you take seriously today.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Spring Showers Edition

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As I’m writing this, it’s pouring rain outside. A month ago, that would’ve been a good excuse to be lazy and moody. Rain in the middle of winter is like expired milk when you already have the stomach flu. It doesn’t necessarily cause your miserable mindset, but it certainly compounds them. However, rain in the spring is different.

I’ve always found rain during this time of year to have a unique beauty and not just because it washes the pollen off the trees, much to the benefit of my allergies. There’s actually something sensual about it and I’m far from the first person to notice that. After a cold, barren winter, the rain comes along to fertilize a landscape eager to bloom. You don’t need a dirty imagination to see the sexy connotations.

Rain in spring is like foreplay for summer. It helps gets a world that has been barren, isolated, and lonely for too long in a more intimate mood. Coincidentally, the warmer temperatures and brighter spirits also encourage more people to wear less clothing, which is something an aspiring erotica romance writer can appreciate.

This is the time of year where we can sense warmer and sexier times ahead of us. Rain is just a tease, but a tantalizing one. This latest batch of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts should help add some more overt forms of teasing to complement the rain. Enjoy!


“A honeymoon is the closest most couples will come to living in a real-life porno.”


“The worst blowjob you’ve ever had is still better than the kiss you’ve ever had.”


“To some extent, every romantic gesture is an attempt to convince someone to get naked for you.”


“Intense fighting and intense lovemaking are equally capable of destroying furniture.”


“In some respects, jealousy is anger over stolen orgasms.”


“Your genitals won’t tell you when you’re falling in love, but they will sound the alarm.”


“Finding ways to please your lover was very likely the first use of the scientific method.”


Whether it’s raining or not, winter is on its way out. Better weather is fast approaching. It’s been a long, bitter winter for many of us. We’re ready for weather that doesn’t require dressing in layers. A nice bit of rain to wash away what’s left of the snow is a promising sign that warmer, sexier times are almost upon us.

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My Wedding Speech: Love, Marriage, And Hope

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The following is a little speech I prepared for the wedding I’m set to attend later today. As I announced yesterday, I’m currently out of town to attend a wedding involving a close family member of mine. I’m not the one that’s getting married, but being the romantic I am, I have a strong appreciation for weddings.

There is sure to be plenty of joy to be had on all sides. There will be plenty of speeches, toasts, and tears. I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to say anything, given the size of the crowd. However, I’ve never been good at giving big speeches anyways. My strength has always been the written word.

With that in mind, I’d like to share a little speech that I wrote for this momentous occasion. Even if I don’t get a chance to say it, I hope to forward it to friends, family, and loved ones so they can share in the sentiment during and after the ceremony. Also, if you or someone you know is getting married and need something romantic to say, please feel free to use this.

What can we say about love that hasn’t been demonstrated, expressed, or put into every other pop song in history?

What can we possibly do, by ourselves and with each other, to demonstrate the power of this feeling?

On this joyous day, I think we can skip those questions because what we’re experiencing right now is the most complete answer we’re ever going to get. Here, in this moment, we are feeling those magical, intangible things that unite us all, but defy description.

Take a moment, every one of you, to appreciate this feeling. To the bride and groom, take an extra moment or several. Can you sense it? Can you grasp it, if only in though? It doesn’t have to be tangible. It doesn’t even have to be complete. All that matters is that it’s there.

Take another moment, if you can, to understand how powerful a feeling it takes to bring us together. What other emotion can inspire an event like this? Friends, family, and loved ones from all over are here to share in this experience. Some say love is magical. I say magic has nothing on love’s ability to bring us all together.

To the bride and groom, whose love brought us here, you’ve achieved something that few can hope to grasp. What brought you to this point wasn’t just a passing feeling. A simple passion may inspire a kiss or a smile, but it takes something much greater to create something like this.

Your love is something special. It’s not just one particular feeling at one particular moment in time. It is a process and an evolution. Like gravity or the changing of the seasons, love has been the catalyst through which you’ve weaved your lives together. The hopes of the past are now the promises of the future. The joy you feel now is the foundation for greater joy in the future.

When we truly love someone, we don’t just love the person before us. Their body, their smile, and the things they do for us are merely the surface of something much deeper.

To love someone is to love who they’re trying to be.

To love someone is to love who you’re trying to be, as well.

To feel that love and know it is a moment worth capturing. For you to share that moment with us, giving us a chance to see and marvel at what you’ve achieved together, is a true wonder.

Having witnessed your love and celebrated your new life together, I think we can all say without reservation that love is real. We need ask no more questions. We need not contemplate any more factors. Seeing you together and sharing in the moment is all we need to know the truth.

From this day forward, through every challenge and triumph, we wish you all the love and happiness that this feeling can bring. From here on out, let love be your guide, your bond, and your greatest strength.

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About To Get On A Plane For A Wedding (Not Mine)

To all those who loyally and regularly follow this site, I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any daily sexy musings, sexy short stories, or long rants about absurd social media trends. However, I have a good reason for it.

In a just bit, I’ll be getting on a plane to head up north for a wedding. It’s not mine. Trust me, I would’ve written a lot more about it if it were. A close family member of mine is getting married and I’ve got relatives coming in from all over to join the party. It promises to be a eventful, joyous affair. That means my ability to write the sexy stuff that makes this site move will be limited.

Don’t worry, though. Weddings and elaborate family affairs have a keen way of inspiring me. I promise I’ll try to make use of that inspiration at some point. For now, I’m just going to download some comics, kick back, and enjoy my flight. Rest assured, the sexy and awesome content will resume in due time.

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DNA Testing, Family Secrets, And Revealing Truths About Infidelity

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What if you woke up one day and found out your father wasn’t actually your biological father?

What if you woke up one day and found out your kids weren’t actually your biological kids?

For a growing number of people, this isn’t just a distressing hypothetical. It’s a painfully real scenario. Secrets that were once easy to keep are now coming to light, thanks to a mix of curiosity, advancing technology, and simple economics. It’s causing a lot of distress for a lot of people, but the fact that it’s happening is somewhat telling.

To understand it, it’s necessary to understand just how unprecedented this situation is. Until very recently, getting a DNA test was exceedingly expensive. Go back 25 years when the Human Genome Project was just getting underway and just sequencing one person’s DNA cost millions. Then, thanks to advances in sequencing techniques and computing technology, the cost fell rapidly.

Today, sequencing your DNA costs less than $1,000. If you just want to test your ancestry, that’s even cheaper with kits costing around $100. You don’t need a court order or contacts at the FBI. You just need a spare $100 and a willingness to spit in a tube. It may not seem like much, but make no mistake. This is uncharted territory for our species and our society.

Ever since we structured our civilization around agriculture, passing down property through generations, and building more diverse societies, there has been a strong incentive to know that your children are biologically yours. This is where taboos surrounding virginity and female chastity come from. For centuries, the best way to assure your kids were yours was for your bride to be a virgin on her wedding night.

However, even in those limited circumstances, it was entirely possible to get around them. The traditional practices of testing young women for virginity are both invasive and prone to major error. If a woman is cunning enough, she can beat those tests and get away with lying about her sexual history. Men could be just as effective about hiding affairs that may have resulted in children with other women.

Now, hiding the truth isn’t just harder in the era of the internet and social media. Certain lies can no longer remain hidden. You can claim videos are deep fakes and that pictures had been Photoshopped. You can’t make those kinds of excuses when the truth is literally written in someone’s DNA.

Sometimes, the truth is just shocking. Take the story of Dani Shapiro, who found out that the man she’d loved and cherished as her father was not related to her. It wasn’t because of her mother’s infidelity, though. It was because her parents utilized an old infertility treatment that resulted in her being conceived with doner sperm instead of that of her surrogate father.

In other cases, the truth can be devastating, such as the case of Sarah Zhang, who found out that rumors of her mother having an affair with a restaurant owner were all too true. This revelation was heartbreaking. In an instant, her entire identity and sense of self had been uprooted. This is how she described the difficulty processing this information.

When I first found out the news, I considered taking a leave of absence from work, because I had difficulty focusing on anything else besides the revelation from 23andMe. On a hard day, I feel heartbroken about my mom’s secret. Her illness created an intimacy between us in the final months of her life and I felt that we were able to tell each other all the things in our heart. This news taints that memory and created a fresh bout of grieving about her death.

These stories are harrowing and they’re becoming increasingly common. There’s even a support group on Facebook for people who learn from these testing kits that their heritage isn’t what they’d previously thought. It’s hard to understand what these people are going through, living their whole lives thinking they know who their parents are, only to find out it wasn’t true.

As DNA testing kits continue to get cheaper and more prevalent, there’s a good chance there are plenty more cases like this just waiting to be uncovered. The fact that it seems to be happening so much says more about our species and our society than it does about the technology behind it.

Think, for a moment, about all the families who lived in the era before this technology became available. How many of those families had secrets like the ones Dani Shapiro and Sarah Zhang later uncovered? How many fathers unknowingly raised children that weren’t biologically theirs? How many mothers birthed children who were sired by someone other than their spouse?

It’s impossible to know for sure and the fact that it was impossible for most of human history might be just as telling as any family secret. I’ve mentioned before at how our notions of traditional romance and family have significant flaws. We value and idealize monogamy and fidelity, but the fact that we go to such extremes to favor it seems to imply that there’s something untenable about it.

Promiscuity and infidelity have existed in every human society. There’s a reason why even ancient civilizations had laws and traditions regulating marriage, adultery, and divorce. Even when there are serious consequences, people still did it. The fact that some of the punishments were so severe imply that a lot of people were getting away with it.

Even so, this didn’t stop men from raising children as their own. It didn’t stop women from loving their children and their spouses all the same. The fact that it was so hard to determine someone’s heritage might have even helped our species from an evolutionary standpoint.

A big part of what makes humans such a successful species is our ability to form tribes, cooperate, and coordinate towards a common goal. In old hunter/gatherer societies, close-knit tribes weren’t quite as concerned about the paternity of their kids. They took a more communal approach to family. Logistically, they had to. They needed that level of cooperation to survive in a harsh, unforgiving world.

Given that humanity spent most of its history in this hunter/gatherer structure, the forces of evolution are already working against those seeking parental certainty. The rise of civilization complicated things, but not to an extent that people couldn’t get away with fooling around. The fact that the average number of sexual partners for people these days is more than one only reveals that the inclinations is definitely there.

That’s an important factor to remember because as DNA testing becomes easier and cheaper, it won’t be possible to avoid the implications. People cheat. People keep secrets. People lie to their kids, sometimes without knowing it. For the most part, it hasn’t affected our ability to function as families and a society. Whether the emerging truth written within our DNA changes that remains to be seen.

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Jack Fisher’s Weekly Quick Pick Comic: Detective Comics #1000

Every Wednesday, a new batch of comics enters this world and makes it a little more awesome. However, it’s not every week that an iconic character achieves an incredible milestone that only one other superhero comic has achieved to date. There aren’t a lot of characters who could hope to achieve such ratified status, but if ever there were someone equipped for that journey, it’s Batman.

Today will likely go down in history as one of Batman’s greatest triumphs and he achieves it without the aid of Christopher Nolan. That’s because on this day, Detective Comics #1000 came out. Beyond just being a landmark issue that celebrates the legacy of Dark Knight, this comic helps remind superhero fans of every generation why Batman has endured.

From the triumph of “The Dark Knight” to the lasting damage done by Joel Shumacher, Batman has navigated many eras over the years. However, like Superman and Wonder Woman, he has never deviated far from his core persona. He’s a detective, a symbol, and a personification of vengeance against egregious injustice. No matter the time, place, or culture, there’s always room for that kind of crusade.

Detective Comics #1000 helps affirm that by telling a collection of short stories by some of DC Comics’ top writers. None of these stories really tie into one another and they don’t have to. It’s just not possible to capture the breadth of Batman’s legacy in just one story, no matter how many members of his iconic rogues gallery enter the picture.

Instead, each story is crafted in a way that helps capture a critical element of Batman’s never-ending crusade. A story by Scott Snyder helps highlight Batman’s unparalleled detective skills. A story by Warren Ellis highlights Batman’s ability to strike fear in criminals. A story by Christopher Priest show show Batman’s humanity is as strong as any one of his skills.

Each story carries its own weight, in terms of drama and impact. They present some of Batman’s best traits alongside his greatest weaknesses. They never give the impression that Batman is too powerful or too capable. At the end of the day, he’s still human. He has very human vulnerabilities and not just compared to the heavy hitters of the Justice League.

Beyond not being bulletproof, there are many instances that show he’s still someone who was deeply scarred as a child. The murder of his parents still haunts him. There are times in which he fails to cope with it, as nicely shown in a story by Denny O’Neil. At the same time, however, that loss and the pain it causes still drives him to be Batman.

In many respects, Batman is more true to his persona than Bruce Wayne. If anything, Bruce Wayne is the real mask. When he’s not wearing his cowl, he has to be someone else. He has to give the impression that he’s a successful, functional adult who got over the murder of his parents long ago. That has never been the case for Batman.

After 1,000 issues of Detective Comics, it’s abundantly clear that Batman does not see injustice the same way others do. People suffer tragedy and injustice all the time, both in the world of superhero comics and in the real world. Most people are content to let the authorities and the justice system deal with it. Batman isn’t most people.

In his world, the crime-ridden metaphor that is Gotham City, the authorities are corrupt and the system is flawed. Unlike people of lesser means, he’s in a position to actually do something about injustice. As Bruce Wayne, he can help improve the economy of the city. As Batman, though, he can make it so other children don’t have to watch their parents die.

It’s a powerful message full of powerful themes. They’re as relevant today as they were 80 years ago when Bob Kane and Bill Finger first created Batman. Injustice and tragedy know no single time, race, culture, or gender. They affect everyone and Batman stands on the front lines to fight it.

More than anything else, Detective Comics #1000 reminds us of why we want Batman on the front lines of that crusade. He’s capable of confronting the worst of the worst in terms of criminals. He’s also compassionate enough to understand and empathize with those who have been affected by injustice. It’s how he’s able to recruit and inspire others like Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl, and Catwoman.

Over the years, he’s even managed to carve out an extended Batman family, of sorts. It’s not the same as the family he lost, but an incredibly touching story by Tom King and Tony Daniels shows just how much it means to him. It helps give balance to someone who can be a hardened crime-fighter one moment and a caring friend the next.

Not all the stories in Detective Comics #1000 are so serious and dramatic. The story by Paul Dini provides some colorful humor that shows that even the gritty world of Batman isn’t prone to a few absurdities. Batman himself doesn’t deny this. He just embraces and accepts it as part of his never-ending crusade.

It’s hard to imagine any crusade lasting 1,000 issues and spanning eight decades, complete with campy TV shows and genre-defining movies. The universal nature of Batman’s crusade against injustice helped fill those issues with so many iconic moments. This landmark issue shows why that crusade is poised to endure another 1,000 issues.

The struggle never ends, but he never gives up. He can’t and he won’t. He’s the goddamn Batman.

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When Aliens Invade The Best, Worst, And Most Likely Scenario

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It’s a common, but appealing theme in science fiction. One day, we think we’re alone in the universe. The next, aliens invade and our species is never the same. Whether it sparks a war for survival like in “Independence Day” or leads to a new era of inter-stellar cooperation like in “Mass Effect,” it’s a profound moment. It may be the one case in which our collective imagination is too limited to appreciate the implications.

The concept of first contact is daunting enough. Just discovering extraterrestrial life in the universe would be groundbreaking. Making contact with it would be downright overwhelming for our species. It might be the closest thing human beings ever get to a true religious experience, making contact with another species from the stars.

An invasion, however, carries with it a special kind of impact, albeit a traumatic kind. Science fiction tells all sorts of stories about it, but chances are that the real-world possibilities don’t come close to the fantasy we all envision. Whether it’s triumph after a stirring speech from President Whitmore or doom at the hands of Martian invaders, the truth probably somewhere in between.

I’ve argued before that the human race isn’t ready for contact with aliens, but we’re close. I also believe that if extraterrestrial aliens ever do arrive, they won’t be hostile invaders. If they’re advanced enough to travel the vast distance of the cosmos, then they’re advanced enough to not need anything here on Earth. There’s abundant water, minerals, and rare elements throughout space that are fare easier to obtain.

However, that all assumes that an extraterrestrial species would act in accord with incentives that most humans understand. That could be a flawed assumption. If an extraterrestrial species is truly alien, then their thoughts, feelings, and motivations could be alien too. It’s not impossible that a species would evolve to be inherently hostile to any other sentient life.

With that in mind, I’d like to present a few potential scenarios on how an alien invasion would play out for humanity. I believe there are a few instances in which our species would survive and even be stronger. There are also a few in which our hopes of survival are effectively zero. I don’t claim that any of these are definitive. This is just my attempt to speculate on how an invasion would pan out for humanity.


Worst Case Scenario: Aliens See Humans As Cockroaches

This is the scenario that movies like “Independence Day” or “Predator” often utilize. The invading aliens are advanced, capable of technology that traverses interstellar space with ease. They arrive on Earth, seeing its resources as ripe for the taking. They invade, seeing humans as nothing more than annoying insects. They deal with them the same way we deal with ants.

While those movies often build stories around human beings finding a way to win the day, either by discovering a hidden weakness or somehow hacking alien computers, it’s doubtful that this is how it would play out. If an alien species is hostile and they have access to technology so advanced that it might as well be magic to lesser species, then we have no chance.

In this scenario, there’s nothing humanity can do to fight back. The President Whitmores of the world could give all the inspiring speeches they want. We wouldn’t have a chance against these creatures. We would be like mosquitoes trying to stop an oncoming nuclear missile. We wouldn’t have a chance and at most, we would just annoy the aliens.

In some cases, humanity could survive by simply avoiding the aliens and live underground in hopes that they’ll eventually leave. If the invaders are intent on turning Earth into a base or strip-mining it entirely, then that’s just delaying the inevitable.

In other cases, the invading aliens could see humanity as lab rats or pets. The only reason they would keep some humans alive would be as resources. On many levels, it would be even worse than slavery because the aliens wouldn’t even value anything we could do. They would just value our flesh the same way we might value a mineral.

One way or another, humans don’t survive this invasion. We either get wiped out with ease or turned into glorified pets for aliens. It’s the one alien contact scenario we would want to avoid and one that the late Stephen Hawking dreaded the most. While I think it’s unlikely that we’ll encounter intelligent aliens this hostile, I don’t deny that it’s still a frightening possibility.


Best Case Scenario: Inept And Incompetent Invaders

This is something a lot of common sci-fi tropes rely on. You have a race of aliens advanced enough to master inter-stellar travel, but incompetent enough to lose a war against a bunch of hairless apes who kill each other over what they think happens when they die. Essentially, any story in which humanity defeats invading aliens has to rely on this.

While there are plenty of absurdities inherent in those stories, it’s not impossible to imagine an invading alien race that’s incompetent. We assume that any advanced alien race that can travel across interstellar space has to be competent to some extent. However, just because they can travel across the stars doesn’t mean they’ll be effective invaders.

The best example of this, in my opinion, comes from a series of novels by Harry Turtledove entitled “Worldwar.” In the story, an alien race invades Earth in the middle of World War II. However, the aliens in this story aren’t some unkillable monstrosities like the Xenomorphs. They’re a race of reptilian creatures who just made some false assumptions.

In the novels, which I highly recommend, the aliens advance at a much slower pace than humanity. What takes us 100 years to produce technologically takes them 1,000. When they first observed Earth, we were in medieval times. They assumed that humans advanced at a similar rate and would be push-overs by the time their fleet arrived. They were dead wrong.

If humanity ever has to deal with an alien invasion, these are the kinds of invaders we should hope for. It’s not just that they make false assumptions and grossly underestimate other species. An invasion by inept aliens means humanity has a fighting chance.

While it may still make for a bloody and brutal war, like the one that unfolds in the “Worldwar” series, that war may ultimately unite the human race in ways that would not be possible in any other scenario. Former President Ronald Reagan even pointed this out in a famous speech to the UN and I think he’s right.

Humanity has never had a singular existential threat that would require every race, ethnic group, and nation to unite. For our entire history, we’ve never had to deal with an advanced species trying to wipe us out. Having that threat means we have to work together or die. No matter how much humans disagree over trivial things, survival tends to overrule petty grievances.

In the long run, that kind of unity might help the human race come together in a way we can’t imagine, given our current state of disunity. As bad as a war against alien invaders can be, it could bring out the best in us if we have a fighting chance. Unfortunately, that chance is contingent on the invaders being incompetent and I think that’s hoping for too much.


Most Likely Scenario: Aliens Invaders Are Indifferent To Humanity

Of all the invasion scenarios, both in fiction and those with a passing connection to reality, I think this is the most likely. Again, it assumes that invading aliens are competent enough to get what they want, regardless of whether or not the human race wants it. If their technology is sufficiently advanced, it won’t matter what humanity wants.

However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that aliens see humans as bugs that need exterminating. It’s far more likely that they’ll see humans the same way drivers see an ant hill on the side of a major highway. They’ll barely notice. They might not even realize we’re there and we, in turn, might be completely oblivious to them.

Even if Earth has some resource that invading aliens want, it makes more sense to just take it without humans noticing. That way they don’t have to fight a war. It’s not that they couldn’t win that war with ease. It would just be exceedingly inconvenient. It would be like blowing up a dam just to water your garden.

For all we know, this has already happened. There may have been multiple occasions where intelligent aliens have passed by our planet, dropped in, and taken some resources without anyone knowing. Given how humans have only existed on this planet for a small fraction of its history, it’s entirely possible that advanced aliens have already visited and determined there’s nothing worth seeing.

Even if they did arrive at a time when humans were present, they would be plenty advanced to either evade detection or fool anyone they came across. The human brain is easy to trick, especially if aliens have some sort of cloaking technology or can shape-shift like the Skrulls in Marvel Comics. Deceiving people, even in today’s connected world, wouldn’t be too tricky for them.

If the aliens just want something minor that doesn’t require exterminating all life on Earth, it makes more sense to just slip in and take it. The only reason invading aliens would ever be hostile in this scenario is if humans got in their way or created an obstacle, of sorts. In that case, it wouldn’t entirely be the fault of the aliens for attacking.

I think this is most likely because I believe, in our current form, humans haven’t done enough to really make themselves worthy of contact with intelligent aliens. Sure, we have a space program and we’ve created world-ending technology, but we haven’t shown an ability to affect much beyond our own planet. I think until that changes, any advanced alien civilization wouldn’t have much interest in us.

That’s still assumes a lot about the intentions of advanced alien life, which can certainly be wrong. However, until we actually meet alien life, we won’t know what to expect. There are plenty of possibilities in which such contact would benefit the human race immensely, but there are far more possibilities in which that event goes horribly wrong.

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Daily Sexy Musing: Under A Soft Blanket

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When it comes to romantic settings, there are any number of tools and setups you can use to make a hot moment even hotter. Some are more elaborate than others. There’s the traditional candle-lit love den, complete with rose petals on the bed and overpriced massage oil on the dresser. Then, there are the elaborate BDSM dungeons that helped make “50 Shades of Grey” famous.

As fun as those can be, I’m of the opinion that to make any romantic setting work, you need to start with the most basic units. One of the most basic and under-appreciated tools for a romantic moment involves blankets. Specifically, it involves the kind of soft, comfortable blankets that feel so good on your skin that it’s like being hugged by a dozen puppies.

Now, I get that when the passion is right, you can make love on anywhere, be it a dirty mattress or blankets with the consistency of sandpaper. However, I also believe that the presence of soft, clean, premium quality blankets can add something to those moments that’s easy to appreciate. They often cost a little extra, but you can’t put a price on things that feel great on naked skin.

If I were to give any couple advice on how to make things a little sexier without getting too elaborate, I would urge them to invest in some soft, high-quality blankets. I’ve yet to come across someone who has regretted taking that advice. I hope this Daily Sexy Musing should help further sell eager lovers on the idea.

It feels so soft, from head to toe.

It covers me complete, body and soul.

It warms my flesh, among other things.

A big, soft blanket invites us into its embrace and we gladly accept. Whether it’s hot or cold, the weather is always right for gentle comfort. We spend much of our day enduring harsh elements, ignoring distress while savoring passing moments of joy. Now, under a soft blanket, the roles are reversed.

Comfort is everywhere.

Bliss is abundant.

Passion comes easy.

Alone, it brings relief and consolation. With you, however, it’s a catalyst for something more. In a world so gentle and calm, it’s easy for love to blossom. There’s no struggle to overcome or obstacles in our path. Under a warm blanket, we are shielded from the abrasive forces that distract our more intimate pursuits.

In this protective warmth, clothes become unnecessary. Strain of every kind disappears. The stresses that kept us from enjoying and celebrating our love fade into obscurity. We shed trivial burdens and explore without care or concern. In this world of soft surroundings, touch gains greater meaning.

A simple caress becomes a deep embrace.

A small peck becomes a passionate kiss.

A light stroke becomes a tender grasp.

A simple statement becomes a loving proclamation.

Atop a soft blanket, we lay upon the strongest of foundations for our love. Within it, we’re embraced by the best kind of warmth. In a world so harsh, something soft can soothe many wounds. For a strong love, it can blossom into something far greater.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Spring Break 2019 Edition

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There are a lot of things I miss about college. Being surrounded by people my age, hanging out around campus, and having an exceedingly flexible schedule with which to learn are just a few. However, one part that I miss more than most is spring break.

It was a welcome feeling after a long winter of studying, mid-terms, and living in dorms with lousy heating. Most of the time, I went home and just enjoyed having a week to myself. On a few occasions, I got to meet up with my girlfriend at the time and that was certainly fun.

However, when most people think of spring break, they probably don’t think of something simple. They probably think of the elaborate sexiness that comes with horny college students having too much free time and staying in places with warm, bikini-friendly weather. I’m not going to lie. I’ve thought those things too.

While I was never lucky enough to go on a vacation like that, I certainly appreciate those thoughts. With spring rolling in and colleges everywhere set to give their students a much-needed break, it’s a good time to entertain those thoughts. Consider this batch of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to be the first taste of Spring Break 2019. Enjoy!


“Alcohol and driving accidentally takes life, but alcohol and sex accidentally makes life so it balances out.”


“It takes skill to convince someone to have sex once, but it takes talent to make them want more afterwards.”


“If a Wonderbra is false advertising, then a fancy car is tiny penis tax.”


“Lies may get you sex when it’s on sale, but truth and love is an investment that pays sexier dividends.”


“A strip club is just an expensive form of sight-seeing.”


“A marriage license is akin to a legal claim of someone else’s genitals.”


“When done right, a gangbang can be a team-building exercise.”


Whether you’re in college, overworked, or just sick of cold weather, I hope that got everyone into the spirit of spring break. Warmer weather is just around the corner. The prospect of less clothing and snow is upon us. After a winter like the one we’ve had, I say we’ve all earned a break of the sexiest kind.

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“Pre-Game Gangbang” A Sexy Short Story

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The following is a sexy short story inspired by the ongoing NCAA Basketball Tournament. Some use this major sporting event to fill out brackets. Some use it as inspiration for an extra-sexy story. I think it’s fairly obvious which one I am. Enjoy!

“Today’s the day,” said an excited and eager Michelle Russell, “the first game of the tournament with what might be our best team in years.”

It was a sentiment that more than one person had expressed in the halls of Champions Arena, the home of the Northside Stallions basketball team. For years, the name of that arena had been fodder for jokes and irony. It wasn’t that long ago that Northside’s basketball team was an afterthought at best. Michelle knew better than most and not just because her father had once been a star point guard on the team.

Unlike other girls in her neighborhood, she ate, slept, and breathed sports. Her father, grandfather, and great-grandfather had all been star athletes. Both her brothers were aspiring athletes. Her mother was a sports doctor who worked with athletes and both her aunts worked for major college athletics programs. Some girls got doll houses and princess costumes as kids. She got uniforms and team banners. Instead of bedtime stories, her father recounted famous championship games from Northside and the NBA.

Michelle’s love of sports, especially basketball, set her apart from her peers. However, her passion for sports and the athletes that played them ran much deeper. For her, it wasn’t just about glory, winning, and championships. In its purest form, it brought out the best in people and that didn’t just resonate with her. It kindled a special kind of passion that she hoped to exercise before Champions Arena filled up with fans later that evening.

At the moment, the facility was largely vacant, populated mostly by maintenance crew and assistant coaches. The Stallions were scheduled for one last practice before the game. Officially, they weren’t even supposed to arrive for another couple hours. Unofficially, though, they had arrived early for a very different kind of practice.

“Trust the players to do their part, but assume they always need some extra motivation,” Michelle said under her breath, echoing the words of her father.

That mantra had been the cornerstone of her father’s approach to coaching. He’d refined it by training her older brothers, who went onto become star college athletes. He’d kept refining it as a coach in a local semi-pro league. He prided himself on his ability to find new ways to motivate athletes. Michelle, who aspired to find her place in the world of sports one day, had uncovered a way of her own that seemed to coincide with the Stallion’s rise to prominence.

Having slipped into the arena through a back entrance, courtesy of a key she’d managed to borrow from the equipment manager, she made her way through the underbelly of the facility until she arrived at the entrance to the locker room. The lights were on. Someone was clearly inside and during off-hours, no less.

Grinning to herself, Michelle adjusted her dress before entering. She didn’t wear dresses very often, but when she did, she made it a point to choose those that were low-cut, tight-fitting, and revealing to a point where even a cheerleader’s outfit seemed modest. She also wore extra make-up, including balm that made her lips extra soft and blush that made her skin extra smooth.

“I’m so ready for a championship!” Michelle said, her heart already racing, along with other parts of her body.

She then entered the locker room, making sure the clacking of her heels let everyone know she had arrived. Upon turning the corner, she saw what she hoped were future champions of the tournament – the 15 tall, athletic young men who made up the Northside Stallions. They’d come from various backgrounds, but they all had the appearance and poise of real athletes. They just needed to prove they were champions.

“Whoa!” said the starting center, whose rebound percentage was on a record pace.

“And here I was thinking I’d need extra coffee to wake up,” said the back-up point guard who’d been getting more playing time in recent weeks.

Michelle smiled at their reaction. They all stood up at her arrival. It looked as though they’d been waiting anxiously. She suspected some – namely, the rookies on the team – were skeptical that she would show up. Her arrival, along with the revealing dress she wore, proved that she’d been serious. All those rumors that former players had probably told them were very true.

“Good morning, you aspiring champions,” Michelle greeted. “You’re all looking restless and eager today. That’s a good thing. You’ve got a big game ahead of you.”

“No need to remind us,” said the small forward whose defense had been inconsistent for the past eight games. “Everyone in town has been reminding us all week.”

“Then, I won’t repeat it. You all know what’s at stake. You’ve all worked hard to get to this point. You know what the recent history of the Stallions has been. Four years ago, this team could barely qualify for financial aid, let alone a tournament. Then, three years ago, my father’s former teammate took over as coach. A year after that, I enrolled in this school. While your coach has certainly done his part, I’ve tried to do mine as well.”

Her voice took on a serious, but sensual undertone. Like basketball royalty, she casually strode into the center of the locker room, the clicking of her heels echoing within the confined, but well-lit area. Each player had already changed into their uniforms, most likely in anticipation of their practice later on. Some were in just their shorts. They already knew what to expect and why their championship hopes hinged on her.

“You’ve worked hard all season, putting in the time, effort, and grit to achieve more than most athletes dream of. Your coaches have given you plenty of motivation,” Michelle said to them. “However, I intend to give you something every bit as important…something that can be the difference between contenders and champions.”

“Yeah, and what might that be?” asked one of the shooting guards from last season, as though he didn’t already know.

“Incentive!” Michelle said intently.

With a look in her eyes that could inspire any champion, the young woman casually tossed aside her purse, kicked off her heels, and unzipped her tight-fitting dress. She watched with a mix of amusement and excitement as the eyes of the athletic men widened such a sight. Their eyes only got wider as she sensually slid the dress down her voluptuous body, revealing that she hadn’t been wearing a bra or panties.

Now completely naked, surrounded by 15 of the most gifted athletes in the state, she casually walked around under the fluorescent lighting, letting each man take in the sight of her naked body. She’d done her share of game-planning earlier that morning, washing and grooming herself to be both desirable and worthy of champions. Based on their reactions, she’d already won in her own right.

“Damn, that’s one sexy incentive!” said the backup center, whose gaze narrowed on her heart-shaped ass.

“And here I was thinking we’d be running more training drills,” said the rookie power forward.

“If you think that’s hot, you should’ve seen what she wore last year,” said the starting power forward, already licking his lips intently.

“Wait…this happened last year?”

“And that team made it all the way to the semi-finals,” Michelle pointed out. “I believe you guys can go even further. That’s why I’m pulling out all the stops this time.”

While the team of young men gawked over her naked body, Michelle retrieved a towel from a nearby bench and laid it out on the tiled floor in the center of the dressing area. Then, still in full view of the handsome athletes, she laid down atop the towel and began playfully fondling her pussy.

“I’ve always had a thing for athletes,” she told them. “Some girls touch themselves to pictures of boy bands and handsome actors. I touch myself to highlight reels of star players.”

“I never want that image to leave my brain…ever,” said the power forward, his eyes already focused on her perfectly-groomed pussy.

“After I started filling out bras and thongs, I learned to be less selfish with my kinks,” Michelle went on. “I felt I do more for aspiring champions besides cheer them on. I could do things for them that give them reasons for pushing their limits…good, memorable reasons that will follow them on and off the court.”

As Michelle recounted how she’d learned to help aspiring athletes, she touched herself more vigorously, revealing to the 15 young men the extent of her kink. Athletes turned her on. However, potential champions made her so hot she could barely contain herself.

Her arousal was already escalating. She also noticed some of the players getting aroused as well. Some had raging boners growing in their shorts. Others tried to hide it, but failed miserably. They were in the presence of a naked, horny women in heat around a team of determined young men. On a primal level, her lurid game plan was already in place.

“Here’s what I’m offering,” she said to the young men watching her. “Fuck me. All of you…however you want and as much as you want…fuck me hard. No restrictions. No rules. Stick in any hole in any position. Hump me as hard or as slow as you want. Do it as many times as you want. Come in me. Come on me. Take turns or just flat out gangbang me. You have my full permission to do it all!”

“I know I just heard her say it. I still can’t believe it,” said the rookie small forward.

“Believe it,” said the starting center. “She was even more direct about it last year.”

“I haven’t forgotten. How could any man with a functioning dick forget?” said the starting point guard, who was already stroking the bulge in his shorts.

Some of the rookies were still overwhelmed, the prospect of a beautiful woman offering herself to them the day of the tournament. Michelle had come to expect that reaction. Some just didn’t believe that a team would be that dedicated to helping the team win. Many of the men had probably received their share of attention from beautiful women. She doubted any of them had been as forthright as her.

While some of the veteran players were already loosening their shorts, Michelle turned over and got on all fours, her butt and pussy now prominently pointing towards several players. She was already fully aroused and eager to help the team in her own sexy way. If it also meant having hot, reckless sex with a bunch of well-endowed athletes, then that was just a nice bonus.

“So what are you waiting for?” Michelle said, slapping her ass and shaking her hips to further goad them. “I’m naked, I’m horny, I’m clean, and I’m on birth control. Before you play like champions, show me you can fuck like one!”

“Well, the coach always tells us to show before we gloat,” said the starting power forward.

Whereas some remained reluctant, probably wondering if they had stumbled into some sort of sexy dream, the veteran players went to work proving themselves. The starting power forward and the center, who happened to be captains, made the first move.

Shooting up from the bench, they shed their shorts and boxers, revealing their fully-erect endowments. Michelle gazed up at them hungrily. They had the size of champions, but whether or not they could use them remained to be seen and they looked eager to proof themselves.

“I’ll start with a little head,” said the point guard.

“I’m got the pussy!” said the center. “God I missed this hot, tight pussy!”

The center arrived first, grabbing hold of her hips, positioning himself behind her, and thrusting his rigid dick into her folds in a single thrust. He was a big, athletic young man, stretching her inner muscles to the utmost. That sudden surge of hard penetration sent her into a sensual frenzy, one that turned her athletic kink into real, raw sensations.

“Ooh yes!” Michelle cried out into the confined locker room. “That’s it! Fuck me! Fuck me with that big, hard, championship-caliber dick!”

“If you like that one, then taste this!” said the point guard in front of her.

Just as the center pumping her pussy with his hard, athletic flesh, the equally-endowed man in front of her shoved his cock into her mouth. Instinctively, Michelle began sucking on it as though it were her favorite treat. It muffled her moans, which were quickly replaced with the pleasured grunts of the two men.

“She’s really doing it. She’s taking it from both ends,” said the rookie point guard in awe.

“I’m seeing it. I’m still waiting to see if I haven’t just stumbled into some crazy porno,” said one of the backup shooting guards.

“Wait all you want. I sure as hell ain’t!” said the starting shooting guard as he got up and took off his shorts. “She wants to take all this Stallion dick? Then, that’s what we’ll give her!”

The shock and awe of a beautiful woman offering herself finally wore off. More of the men got up from their seats, took off their clothes, and gathered around to watch the lurid show unfold. Some already had their dicks in their hands, stroking them to either get hard or stay hard. Looking around, seeing their lustful gaze upon her, sent Michelle into sexual frenzy.

“Mmm! That’s it, guys!” she said, as she stopped sucking the point guard’s dick briefly so she could stroke it. “Get those dicks out and get them ready! I want to taste every fucking one of them!”

“Less talking, more sucking!” said the point guard.

He shoved his dick back into her mouth, which Michelle eagerly resumed sucking. Some of his teammates began waving their dicks in her face in anticipation. In a further show of her drive, she reached out and stroked them, demonstrating that she could be a team player as well.

The sucking, stroking, and humping continued. Michelle quickly found herself on the brink of orgasm. The sight of so many hot, athletic men and feeling of their dicks inside flooded her with hot sensations that rapidly escalated. When she crossed that threshold and entered that blissful world, she arched her body and let out a muffled moan that somehow echoed over her moan.

“Damn! Did she just come already?” said one of the power forwards.

“She…she definitely did!” said the center still fucking her pussy. “Fuck, it’s so tight! It’s gonna…make me…come!”

Before the imposing star player could say another word, he firmly squeezed her hips and let out a deep grunt as he got his released. Even as her body shuddered from her first orgasm, Michelle could feel his member throbbing inside her as he shot a thick load of fluid up into her depths. It was so hot, his cum mixing with hers. That feeling of a strong, athletic man fucking her so thoroughly made Michelle feel like a champion in her own right. Like any true competitor, though, it left her wanting more.

“Out of the way, bro! Make room for the next champ!” said the starting power forward, shoving the center aside as soon as he pulled out of her.

“Hey! Who said you get the pussy next?” barked his backup.

“Easy, studs,” Michelle assured with two dicks in her hands. “There’s plenty of pussy to go around. I want to feel every one of your dicks inside me!”

That helped temper the growing restlessness among the young men. Some were more eager than others to indulge in her sex, still holding their rock-hard dicks and seething with lust as they gazed at her naked body. Michelle had every intention of making good on her word. Skilled athletes had to push their endurance all the time. In her efforts to incentivize them, she could do no less.

The starting power forward pumped her pussy as hard as his teammate. He also threw in a reach-around, grabbing her swaying breasts as he rocked her body with each thrust. The three athletic studs in front of her kept shoving their dicks in her face. She soon began alternating between sucking and stroking them. Before long, the point guard who’d been the first in line to receive one of her blowjobs was ready to blow his load as well.

“Oohhh fuck, I’m coming!” the tall young athlete grunted.

With his dick still halfway in her mouth and her body still rocking from the humping she received from behind, he the point guard clutched the side of her head and let out a deep moan as he released his load right into her mouth. She still had two dicks in both hands, but that didn’t stop her from licking up every last drop of his cum. She treated it like excess frosting on her favorite desert, flashing his horny teammates a seductive gaze, if only to help them keep their dicks hard.

“Mmm…championship cum,” Michelle purred. “I love it! Who wants to give me more?”

“I do!” said the backup power forward.

“Hurry it up, man! I ain’t been laid all season and I gotta bust a nut soon!” said a backup short forward.

She barely had a chance to rest her jaw before one of the athletic studs in front of her shoved a fresh dick back into her mouth. Without hesitation, she resumed sucking. If anything, she sucked with more urgency. Between a hard, rigid cock in her mouth and another slithering vigorously in her pussy, Michelle was in a sea of ecstasy, surrounded by the kind of men that evoked in her the greatest passion.

“More! Ooh give me more Stallion dick!” Michelle demanded.

The eager men of the Northside Stallions gladly obliged, cheering each other on as they indulged in her decadent passions. She kept getting fucked from behind, her body rocking harder with each thrust. There was no more hesitation or shock at that point. It was a full-fledged gangbang – a unique team-building exercise, of sorts – and Michelle was at the center of it all.

After a good round of humping and sucking, she climaxed again, letting out another blissful cry that filled the locker room. The one fucking her pussy and the one receiving oral sex from her climaxed shortly after, filling depths with more cum at both ends. Before she even milked them dry, others fought their way to the front of the line and kept the gangbang going. It inspired even more cheers and encouraged the talented athletes to step up their game.

At one point, one of the players flipped her over so that she was lying on her back, gazing up at the crowd of horny young men surrounding her, drooling lustfully over her naked body. While in that position, one of the players – she couldn’t even tell who – pushed her legs apart, got on top of her, and began fucking her.

As the athletic stud on top humped her hard, she felt her breasts bounce to the rhythm, encouraging several men to reach in and caress them. Michelle had always enjoyed that, especially when someone pinched her nipples. Her high-pitched squeals of joy soon echoed over their cheers. Some still hovered near her head, trying to get in position to receive oral sex. Michelle showed off her flexibility by accommodating them as much as she could.

“Mmm…that’s it, studs. Touch me. Enjoy me. I love it!” she proclaimed. “Hell, if you can’t hold your load, let it out! I don’t mind!”

“Fuck, yeah! I was hoping she’d say that,” said one of the backup centers.

Right on cue, the well-endowed athlete who had only recently transferred to Northside blew his load right onto her breasts. Upon feeling that thick, salty fluid on her naked skin, mixing with the thick layer of sweat she’d built up, she playfully spread it around and cast the other men bearing throbbing erections an encouraging gaze.

“That…is so hot,” said one of the power forwards.

“Fuck, I can’t hold it any longer!” said another.

More loads followed, streaks of male fluid splattering onto her breasts and face. More cheers followed, along with another orgasm for her. The men might have been getting off on her athlete fetish, but she was already way ahead on the proverbial scoreboard.

“Ooh yeah! You made me come again,” she said the eager young men. “Keep it up! I want more. I know you do too.”

They didn’t bother arguing. They just kept the gangbang going, showing a surprising amount of teamwork in the process. That boded well for their chances in the game.

Michelle remained on her back for a while, letting a few more aspiring athletes fuck her missionary style. She came a few more times, having long since lost track. They soon mixed things up even more while showing off their athletic skills, in the process.

One of the team’s shorter, but heavily-muscled power forwards actually lifted her up off the floor, held her up in his arms, and bounced her up and down his dick in a show of strength. That drove Michelle wild in all the right ways. She even used that as an opportunity to show off her flexibility, leaning back and kissing some of the men behind her.

“Yes! So…so strong!” Michelle exclaimed.

“So…so flexible!” the stocky man fucking her grunted.

She kept bouncing up and down his dick for a good long while. After humping her to a fresh climax, the other teammates who’d been waiting patiently and restlessly got their chance as well. Michelle made it a point to reward them for waiting so long and staying so hard.

“You…on your back!” she said, pointing at one of the small forwards.

The small forward, who’d been more shy than his teammates, did as she asked without question. Then, as soon as the man holding her up let her go, she got on top of him, straddled his waist, and plunged her pussy down onto his waiting cock. She then began riding him cowgirl style, demonstrating that she could hump as well as any athlete. However, she wasn’t content with just riding a handsome stud.

“You,” she said, pointing to another small forward, “you’ve been patient. Stick it in my ass!”

“Are…are you sure?” he asked.

“Fuck yes!” Michelle exclaimed. “I lubed up before I got here. Just do it! Fuck me my ass! I want to feel two cocks inside me!”

“Just when I thought this woman couldn’t get any kinkier,” said the starting center who’d gotten off first with her.

The small forward still hesitated, but with a raging boner in hand, followed her lurid requests along with his own burning lust. With the dick of the man under her still deep in her pussy, she bent over to make room for his teammate. He was careful with inserting his dick into her ass, showing that he was both an athlete and a gentleman. Having had her share of anal sex before, and with well-endowed athletes, Michelle accommodated his manhood with ease.

“Fuck, that’s tight!” the small forward grunted.

“Yes! I love it!” Michelle exclaimed. “Please…keep fucking me. Fuck my every hole.”

Taking her proclamation as seriously as an order from the coach, the two stud athletes demonstrated more teamwork as they began pumping their cocks into her tight holes. They were like a couple of well-oiled pistons, slithering within her and stimulating her deepest depths. It sent Michelle to new heights of ecstasy, sending her deeper into a wondrous daze that felt worthy of champions.

In that daze, her sense of time became obscure. She couldn’t tell how long the two small forwards double penetrated her. She just knew that at some point, she had another orgasm and shortly after that, they both climaxed inside her. After that, two more athletes took their spot. She couldn’t surmise who they were or which position they played. She just knew that someone helped her up briefly so that two more horny men could position themselves so that she was sandwiched between them.

More rounds of vigorous humping followed. As Michelle moaned through continued surges of pleasure, a couple of other teammates got in front of her to receive oral sex. Again, she gladly obliged, completing the trifecta the gangbang trifecta. She had a dick in her vagina, another in her ass, and one in her mouth. It pushed her body, mind, and desires to the utmost. Like any other athlete who pushed themselves, she rose to the challenge.

After a few rounds of multiple penetration and multiple orgasms, Michelle was fairly certain she had fucked every member of the Northside Stallions at least once. She was also certain a few came in for seconds, their dicks getting hard again after watching the decadent spectacle unfold. It soon got to a point where the whole locker room reeked of sweat and sex. It was the kind of musk that reflected a unique kind of exertion and grit. It made for hot sex with multiple athletic men. Hopefully, it wasn’t too different from the musk of champions.

“I know I’ve said it way too many times, but damn!” said the starting center. “I ain’t ever won a championship before, but I hope it feels as good as this.”

“Hell, I’ll settle for half as good as this,” said the starting power forward.

“My ex-girlfriend used to withhold sex until we won,” said the backup point guard. “I’m starting to think she had it ass backwards.”

“I’m done thinking. Shit, I’ve never been more ready to win the whole tournament!”

That was exactly the reaction Michelle had been hoping for. In recent years, she’d come to expect it. That didn’t make it any less rewarding.

Eventually, she managed to satisfy all fifteen members of the Northside Stallions. After the final few team members shot their loads off, filling her pussy and ass with one last round of their cum, they pulled out and let out a content sigh. Michelle, now covered in a healthy layer of sweat and sexual fluids, remained on the floor, panting heavily and bathing in the afterglow.

Eventually, a couple of the athletes helped her up. They even were nice enough to give her some clean towels to clean herself up. Some athletes were pig-headed, but in Michelle’s experience, most of them were decent, honorable men who knew how to treat a woman…especially one who gave them so many sexy incentives.

While some of the players began getting dressed, she sat down on a nearby bench to collect herself. Parts of her were sore, which was to be expected. Her father once said that any athlete who wasn’t sore after a game wasn’t trying hard enough. She was convinced that she’d done her part. Judging by the way each man was lounging about, still naked and looking more relaxed than any athlete should on the day of a big game, they were just as convinced.

“I think it’s official. You guys are ready for the tournament!” said Michelle.

“I’ll say,” said the starting small forward. “You are a testament to our competitive spirit, Michelle.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever had this much incentive,” said the backup point guard.

“If you think that’s motivating, just wait until you see what I do for the MVP of the tournament,” she added.

“Why? What does the MVP get?” asked one of the starting strong forwards intently.

“Win the tournament and you’ll find out!” Michelle said seductively. “Trust me when I say it’s something worthy of any champion.”

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