Daily Sexy Musings: Chiseled Muscles

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Let’s not lie to ourselves. Having toned, chiseled muscles makes you more attractive in the most general sense. That’s not me making a sweeping judgement on beauty standards or body shaming. That’s just the general consensus. It’s not just me saying that, either. I’ve heard that sentiment expressed directly to me by men and women alike.

I know beauty standards vary wildly across cultures, time periods, and regions, but for the most part, having toned muscles will give you an edge in terms of sex appeal. Like it or not, strong muscles are a key indicator to your health. If you take care of yourself, eat right, and exercise, it generally shows in your muscle tone.

I’ve shared my personal experiences with physical health and body shaming. I’ve gone through periods where I was more pudge than muscle. Then, I got serious about my health. I started working out regularly and eating better. I did it for an extended period, eventually working it into my routine. The results are readily visible every time I take my shirt off. More than one woman has told me as such.

That’s not to say you have to have toned muscles to be sexy. It’s just one of many ways to go about it. It also happens to be a way that has many other positive health benefits. That can only help your sex appeal in the grand scheme of things. To that end, let this Daily Sexy Musing serve as both inspiration and affirmation. Enjoy!

I look in the mirror. In an instant, the fruits of so much labor and effort reveal themselves. Without filters or boasting, the potential of the human body becomes real. I touch it just to be sure. My eyes aren’t lying to me. What I see is what I feel. The hard, toned muscles of my body are there for all to see.

It took hard work.

It took many sacrifices.

It took drive, determination, and dedication.

What I see is both an accomplishment and a next step. The work isn’t done, but I’ve already succeeded. I know because you see it too. In both my reflection and my presence, you look at me with a glint in your eyes that wasn’t there before. What you saw before was just the foundation. Everything you see now is what I’ve built.

I did it for you.

I did it for me.

I did it for us.

Within each chiseled muscle, strength and power radiates for all those who seek it. They don’t just provide visual stimulation of my beauty. They tell a story of who I am and who I’m trying to be. Whereas some gladly accept their current stature, I dared to seek more. Whether in pursuit of vanity or health, I set out on a journey to turn a work in progress into a work of art.

I lifted.

I ran.

I sweated.

I starved.

I fought.

I struggled.

Time and again, the strain held me back. What started as a plan became a process. From that process, I took what nature gave me and refined it. Through the struggle, I endured. From that endurance, I saw results. The more I saw, the more I wanted to see. Now, you can see them too.

I want you to see them.

I want you to admire them.

I want you to know what I can achieve when I set out to achieve something greater.

These muscles that you so enjoy are tangible proof.

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Jack Fisher’s Weekly Quick Pick Comic: Dr. Strange Surgeon Supreme #1

Certain characters never begin their hero’s journey until they lose something they can never get back. It happened to Luke Skywalker when he lost his aunt and uncle in “Star Wars: A New Hope.” It happened to Spider-Man when his Uncle Ben was murdered by a mugger he could’ve stopped. For Dr. Strange, what he lost and where that took him is unique.

For Steven Strange, it wasn’t someone he lost. It was something. Before he became the Sorcerer Supreme, he was a gifted, but self-centered surgeon. He was a man of science and prestige. He had knowledge and skill that few could match. It afforded him wealth, respect, and affirmation the likes of which few achieve.

Then, in an instant, he lost it all. Beyond humbling him, it forced him to follow a new path. That path eventually led him to becoming the Sorcerer Supreme that Benedict Cumberbatch so brilliantly played in Marvel Studios’ dazzling adaptation to his story. He’s been on that journey for years in the comics and it has taken him to many magical places, literally and figuratively.

That does raise some interesting questions, though. What would happen if Dr. Strange suddenly got back what he’d lost all those years ago? How would regaining that precious gift he once lost affect him? This is what writer Mark Waid explores in “Dr. Strange Surgeon Supreme #1” and the implications are revealing.

The circumstances of this issue and this new series spin out of recent events involving the magical sector of the Marvel universe. The details aren’t necessary to know in order to follow the story. There’s a passing reference from Dr. Strange about making a bargain with a demon to get the use of his hands back, but that’s all you need to know to follow the plot.

It’s a unique plot in the context to a Dr. Strange story. In addition to the mystical battles with demons and various Lovecraftian forces, Dr. Strange is back to being a doctor. Specifically, he’s a neurosurgeon who takes on cases that no one else is equipped to handle. Dr. Strange makes that very clear. He only gets the cases that everyone else says is impossible.

For anyone who knows somebody who has been told by a doctor that there is no hope, it’s a powerful message and one that isn’t lost on Dr. Strange. Waid even lets some of that old arrogance from Dr. Strange show, but it’s the kind of arrogance that’s understandable. He’s not just a master of the mystic arts. He has skills as a surgeon that nobody else can match. He has a right to be a little arrogant.

At the same time, he’s still the Sorcerer Supreme. He’s still the same man who went down that hero’s journey and came out a better man. Seeing him navigate a crowded hospital and its labyrinthine of bureaucracy while also fighting mystical battles on the side is compelling. It provides a unique balance that mixes real world threats with those of magic.

It’s a balance that is difficult to strike in a Dr. Strange comic. One of the major appeals of Dr. Strange comics is that it doubles down on all those mystical tropes that push the imaginations of writers and artists alike. Mixing it with something as common as a crowded hospital feels like it shouldn’t fit, but Waid makes it work and the imagery provided by artist Kev Walker still gives it a magical ambiance.

That mix works because, as Dr. Strange often points out when describing magic, the byproducts come at a price. He has back what he lost and he’s still the Sorcerer Supreme. However, it’s not all operating rooms and dark dimensions. Doing both, even on a part-time basis, takes a toll on him and that toll shows.

It doesn’t just mean he has less time to sleep and slay demons. As the story unfolds, there’s an ominous undertone that Dr. Strange can’t completely balance these two lives. He can dedicate himself to being the Sorcerer Supreme. He can also dedicate himself to being a gifted surgeon. However, by doing both, one life will affect the other. There’s no way around it.

Going back to the catalyst that leads many down a hero’s journey, it’s rare for any character to reclaim what they lost. Peter Parker can never get his Uncle Ben back. Luke Skywalker can never save his aunt and uncle. However, “Dr. Strange Surgeon Supreme #1” gives Dr. Strange that rare opportunity to still be the hero he’s become while regaining what he lost.

The story never gives the impression that Dr. Strange goes back to being the arrogant asshole he was before he knew magic was real. His attitude and disposition in “Dr. Strange Surgeon Supreme #1” never feels like a regression. At the same time, there’s a clear sense that he can only push himself so far, even as the Sorcerer Supreme.

When mystic threats start to affect his non-mystical pursuits, he struggles in ways we don’t expect of a man who regularly stares down the likes of Dormammu. It reinforces the notion that magic comes at a price and so too does regaining what you once lost. Is Dr. Strange willing and able to pay that prices?

That question remains unanswered, but “Dr. Strange Surgeon Supreme #1” makes clear that it cannot go unanswered forever. At some point, Dr. Strange will have to make some difficult decisions and for once, there’s no magic spell that will make those decisions any easier.

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“(Not So) Silent Night” A Sexy Short Christmas Story

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The following is a sexy short Christmas story that I hope will warm your hearts and heat your loins. It is the most wonderful time of the year, after all. Why shouldn’t it be sexy? Enjoy!

Growing up, Nora Oliver-Winters was the kind of soft-spoken girl that few noticed. She was quiet, keeping to herself and rarely causing a raucous. Her high school sweetheart turned husband, Nicholas Winters, was the same. He was the kind of quiet, reserved boy that few gave a second thought.

When they got together, it seemed so fitting. Some of their friends said that they were the calmest, quietest couple of all time. Those same friends probably didn’t see them around the holidays. That was when they came out of their shell and made a little noise.

“I don’t know what gets into you during the holidays, but it’s really something,” Nora’s father used to tell her.

That was generous on her father’s part, but still accurate. As a kid, Nora was the kind of girl who would squeal with joy before sitting on Santa’s lap at the mall. As a teenager and adult, she would sing loudest whenever Christmas music came on or whenever holiday parties got rowdy. Fittingly enough, her husband was often the one who helped make them rowdy.

She and Nick became the dynamic duo of holidays. They would lead the charge with the festivities. They would organize every event, from a Christmas tree lighting to a choir at the local church. That coordination, along with their shared passion for the holidays, was part of what brought them together. It was also the catalyst for many major milestones.

It was around Christmas when Nick asked her on their first date.

It was on that same Christmas that they shared their first kiss.

It was on Christmas when he proposed to her.

It was also around Christmas when they had their wedding.

It almost felt necessary. Christmas was the time of year when they let their usually reserved passions run free. They tended to share more romantic moments, which rarely stayed quiet. It got to a point where even their parents found it troublesome.

That still didn’t stop them. Even when they spent Christmas at her parents’ rural house, they often made more noise than their families were used to hearing from them. Nora promised her parents that she and Nick would keep things quiet, especially on Christmas Eve after everyone had turned in. She’d even hoped to keep that promise.

However, her husband did not make that easy for her.

“Hey, Nora,” he whispered into her ear, “are you awake?”

“It’s almost midnight on Christmas Eve. What do you think?” Nora quipped, not hiding how restless she was.

“Just checking,” Nick snickered. “It’s the most restless time of the year for us. You know how excited I tend to get…especially on Christmas Eve.”

“I know, Nick. Believe me, I know,” she said.

Already, the temptation that break that promise was there. She and Nick had been lying in bed for over an hour now. It didn’t help that they were in the same bed she’d slept in back in high school, which wasn’t nearly big enough for two adult bodies.

That wasn’t her fault, though. Her parents were the ones who insisted on inviting them, her sisters, and Nick’s parents over for Christmas. Every room was full and her old room just happened to be adjacent to her parents’ room. Her father usually preferred that since she’d been the quietest of his three children. It was only around Christmas that she tended to annoy him.

Nick, wearing only a pair of boxers on a cold December night, didn’t seem to care as he spooned her from behind. She felt him slip his arms around her body, the thin fabric of her red nighty doing little to temper his loving touch. He was always extra affectionate around the holidays. It also didn’t take much to rouse her passions around the holidays, even late at night.

“It’s almost midnight,” Nick whispered into her ear while stroking the nape of her neck. “Christmas will officially be here soon.”

“You keep telling me things I already know,” Nora told him. “You never do that without having a point to make.”

“That’s because I do. And it’s a point worth making.”

Now curious, as well as aroused, she rolled over to face her husband. Still under the covers, cuddling together like a couple of teenagers who’d just snuck into each other’s rooms, she caressed his unshaven face. Even in the dim lighting of her old bedroom, she could see the excitement in his eyes. All the joyous memories they’d shared during Christmas had come rushing back. In recounting such moments, how could anyone sleep?

“For 11 months out of the year, I was a quiet grade-grubber in school. Now, I’m just your typical IT guy who spends his days configuring laptops for overpaid executives,” he said.

“And I’m just your average financial planner at a bank,” Nora replied. “What’s your point?”

“I hope it’s obvious. In all that time, we let a lot of thoughts and feelings build up,” he went on. “No matter how many times we try to explore those feelings throughout the year, something gets in the way. Then, Christmas comes around.”

“And suddenly, we make time,” she said, finishing his thought.

“Exactly!”

That had been a bit too loud, but it didn’t stop Nora from smiling back.

“You want to keep your voice down? My parents are in the other room,” she told him.

“I’m trying to. I want to,” Nick said, his excitement still obvious. “I just don’t think I can.”

Still smiling in her grasp, he deepened their embrace. The warmth of his mostly exposed upper body mixed with hers, creating an intimate setting the likes of which roused more than their Christmas spirit.

Following that restless excitement, Nick drew her into a kiss. It started off soft, as if to see if they could keep their passions quiet on Christmas for once. As soon as she tasted his lips, felt his loving touch, and slipped her arms around his waist under the sheets, the truth became abundantly clear. These passions could not be silenced.

“I’m sorry, Nora,” he gasped in between the hot kissing, “but it’s hard keeping my love for you quiet…especially this time of year.”

“Nick,” Nora said, trying to keep her voice down. “I’m inclined to stop you, but God help me. I don’t think I want to.”

“Then, let’s not fight it!” Nick said, once again sounding louder than she’d promised her father. “We can try to keep it down and still share in the holiday spirit, but…”

His words trailed off. She didn’t bother trying to answer. As if drawn together by holiday magic, they kissed again. This time, it wasn’t soft or simple. It quickly blossomed into something more heated. The next thing she knew, her husband was on top of her, kissing and caressing her with a passion worthy of Christmas spirit.

“Nora…my love,” he said in that deep, manly voice of his.

While embracing and caressing her, he began trailing his lips down her neck. Nora let out a sharp gasp. It was louder than she’d intended, but that didn’t dissuade her lover. If anything, it encouraged him.

From the passionate make-out session, clothes started coming off. Nora’s nighty was the first to go. Nick had her so engrossed in his lips that she barely noticed him pushing it up, revealing her ample breasts to him. Once she did, she gladly helped him remove it, leaving her in just a pair of white panties, which were rapidly becoming a burden.

“Ooh Nick!” she moaned, once again making more noise than she’d hoped.

Again, her love wasn’t dissuaded. Even in the darkness of the night, he navigated his way down her half-naked body. He trailed his lips down her neck, fondled both her breasts with his hands, and sent more shivers of arousal coursing through her body. Nora grasped her pillow and bit her lip, preventing her to making more noise.

That became increasingly difficult as Nick made his way down her torso, taking some extra time to tease taste her cleavage and tease her nipples with his tongue. He knew that drove her wild. It had since their honeymoon. She still managed to keep herself from squealing in delight, but found other ways to communicate her desire.

“Mmm…your panties,” said Nick as after teasing her breasts. “I’m guessing you want them off?”

In lieu of a loud proclamation, she lifted her hips to let him know. He got the message and removed them with ease, rendering her completely naked.

Looking up at her in the darkness of the room, she could still see the passion in Nick’s eyes. She saw how much he loved her and how much he wanted her. In the waning hours of Christmas Eve, the greatest gift he could offer was to share in that love.

“Your love is the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten, Nora,” he told her, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s truly a gift that keeps on giving.”

“Speak for yourself, my darling,” she teased.

“It’s Christmas. Even when it comes to gift giving, actions speak louder than words.”

Nick had always been a man of action. It was one of the many reasons she fell in love with him. Even on Christmas Eve, with parents on the other side of the wall, he didn’t hesitate to prove himself.

Still using his lips and his intimate knowledge of her body, he made his way down to her inner thighs. He pulled the sheets back, exposing her naked flesh to the poorly ventilated air of his old room. Nora didn’t mind. She was so hot for her lover that no amount of December cold could temper her passions.

Nick still made it a point to heat her holiday spirit. With tact and tenderness befitting of a skilled lover, he began giving her oral sex, burying his face in her waiting womanhood. This time, she couldn’t keep herself from reacting.

“Ohhh yes!” Nora gasped.

That was too loud. It had to have woken up someone, but Nick didn’t stop. He kept eating her out, using his lips and tongue to taste her tender flesh, stimulating the spots he knew so well. Even in the dark, he sent shivers of bliss coursing through her body. It was so intense that she had to shove a pillow into her face to muffle more moans.

“Mmm…quick thinking,” Nick teased.

He kept at it, licking and tasting her outer and inner folds. She shifted her body, arching her back and shuddering under the steady surge of sensations. Keeping her delight quiet was next to impossible.

However, she knew that Nick’s oral talents were just the wrapping paper. The real gift was still to come. By the time she achieved full arousal, she couldn’t wait anymore. Even if it was still Christmas Eve, she couldn’t contain her excitement.

“Nick…please,” she gasped through the pillow. “Let’s do it. Let’s share this wonderful gift!”

Again, her lover answered with actions rather than words. Given how much noise they’d already made, that was probably a good thing.

Like a man possessed by a special Christmas spirit, he rose up and shed his boxers. He then laid back on top of her, capturing her lips again and allowing their naked bodies to perfectly mesh. In the darkness, she could feel the hardened flesh of his manhood press against her thighs. Whether it was the holidays or the excitement of making love in his old room, he got every bit as aroused as her.

Their hearts and bodies beckoned for a far greater gift. From passionate instincts, Nora skillfully wrapped her legs around her lover’s waist, drawing them into an intimate warmth to combat the winter cold. With equal skill, Nick aligned his manly flesh with her womanly opening.

Then, in an act that transformed their love into a physical form, he entered her. In that moment, through the perfect union of intimate flesh, their most cherished gift came to life.

“Nora…my love,” he gasped.

“Nick…my lover,” she gasped in response.

That was all they could get out. They could’ve been a lot more vocal, but they managed to mute such loud proclamations with a loving kiss. It seemed to be the only way to temper the noise, but it might have been the most fitting.

With heated kissing and affectionate touching, Nora and her loving husband made love. Nick set the pace of their passion, working his body with hers in a steady, yet heated rhythm. She supplemented his efforts, digging the balls of her feet into his lower back and raking her fingers down his back. Through each thrust and motion, his toned manly sinews glided effortlessly along her feminine curves, creating an intimate heat that perfectly countered the winter cold.

“Mmm…Nick! Oh Nick! Oohhh yes!” she cried out in the brief moments when their lips parted.

“Oh Nora!” he moaned, no longer trying to temper his voice.

That had to have roused someone in the other room. She and Nick were beyond caring at this point. They were making love on Christmas, celebrating the greatest gift two lovers could possibly share. If that meant rousing sleeping parents, then so be it.

Their lovemaking rocked the bed along with their naked bodies. The sheets quickly became ruffled and frame squeaked under the weight of their passion. Her old bed was clearly not designed to accommodate lovers like them. That didn’t stop them from pursuing their passion to the utmost.

As they drew out their love, the clock neared midnight. Christmas was about to officially arrive. Nora was about to arrive as well, her husband’s loving efforts bringing her to the brink of orgasm. She was close. She could sense in every touch and gasp that he was close too. That gave them an opportunity to make this special gift even better.

“Nick…I’m ready,” she whispered into his ear.

Through the darkness, Nora sense his beaming smile. They’d been together long enough and shared plenty of passionate nights. He knew what that entailed.

This time, Nora was the one who let her actions do the talking. While lip-locked in another passionate kiss, she realigned their bodies so that she was the one on top. Now straddling his pelvis, his rigid manhood still deep inside her throbbing womanhood, she took charge of their lovemaking. For the final push to shared ecstasy, she held onto her waist and rode him to a special holiday delight.

“Oohhh Nora! I’m ready too! I’m so…so ready!” Nick moaned.

“Nick…I’m so close! Oohhh Nick!” she cried out.

As the feeling approached, the clock struck midnight. It was Christmas. That meant it was finally time to unwrap their present together.

Together, they exerted the last round of their passions. Nick reached up and caressed her breasts while she leaned back, thrusting upwards while she gyrated her hips. It was a perfect harmony of passion, evoking just the right sensations to send them over the brink and into a world of ecstasy.

“Ohhh Nick!”

“Oohhh Nora!”

In what felt like a true Christmas miracle, they climaxed together. Nora felt her inner depths throb, followed by a wondrous release of ecstasy that washed over her like a gift straight from the North Pole. Nick definitely got his gift as well. She felt it in the way his manhood throbbed inside her, his manly fluids mixing with her feminine juices in a perfect holiday treat.

As they soaked in every sensation, her hands found his. Their fingers became enlaced, as if to guide one another through an ocean of ecstasy. With the waves from that ocean still washing over them, Nora collapsed atop her lover’s naked body where they came together in another kiss.

“I love you, Nick,” she said to him.

“I love you too, Nora,” he replied.

“And now, it’s past midnight. So I can say it. Merry Christmas, my wonderful husband. I hope you enjoyed your gift this year.”

“Merry Christmas to you too, my amazing wife. And yes, I definitely did!”

They kissed again, allowing their bodies to settle into a relaxing afterglow. Nora even managed to pull the sheets up over their naked bodies. Lying naked atop her husband, resting her head on his chest, it was the perfect way to start Christmas.

Then, just as she was ready to nod off again, there was a loud banging on the wall.

“Hey! Keep it down in there, you horny dogs!” yelled the voice of her restless father. “Some of us like to sleep on the holidays!”

Neither she nor Nick said a word. He just smiled awkwardly. She could even see him blushing profusely. Just when they thought they’d gotten away with some noisy lovemaking, they both remembered that the holidays extended beyond their love.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “Guess we’ll have to be quieter next time.”

“Oh Nick,” Nora laughed under her breath. “You know even Christmas miracles have their limits.”

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Merry Christmas!

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To everyone and anyone, I wish you a very Merry Christmas. I hope Santa was good to you this year. Even if you were a little naughty, I hope you find a way to enjoy this very special holiday.

To my friends, family, and everyone who has supported me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Peace and love to everyone! Merry Christmas.

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Holiday Sexy Musing: Christmas Eve Excitement

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It’s almost here! The countdown to Christmas can officially begin. If you’re a kid, chances are you won’t get much sleep tonight. With presents to open and sugary treats to enjoy, there’s a lot to be excited about. That sentiment applies to adults too, but their excitement is different.

I know this because I’m an adult who loves Christmas every bit as much as I did when I was a kid. It’s still my favorite holiday. I still get giddy and excited like a kid who ate too many sugar cookies. Granted, my love for Christmas has evolved over the years. I’ve come to enjoy giving gifts more than receiving them. It’s a part of the holiday spirit that I gladly embrace.

At the same time, a part of me still wishes I had a special someone to share this holiday with. I love my family and they’ll always be part of my Christmas plans, but one day, I’d like to meet a woman that I can love with all my heart and share in the holiday festivities. I haven’t found that woman yet, but that hasn’t stopped me from musing on the sexy sentiments we could share over the holidays.

With that in mind, I’d like to offer one last musing here on Christmas Eve. In both the holiday spirit and the spirit of all things romantic, I offer these sensual thoughts to those who share my holiday spirit. If you’ve got someone to share it with, then you’ve already got an extra-special gift.

From me to you, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Consider this little musing a small, but sincere gift to get your spirits going.

The Christmas tree is up.

The lights are shining bright.

The shopping is done.

The presents are all wrapped.

The eggnog is fresh.

As the final hours tick by and the perfect moment draws near, I hold you in my arms and cherish our greatest gift. It has been another long year. In between moments of love and passion, we endure struggles and strife. From the bitter winter cold to the sweltering summer heat, we’ve once again come full circle.

Together, we made it.

Together, we celebrate.

Surrounded by festive lights and holiday décor, our hearts and souls feel undeniably jolly. As kids, we dreamed of toys and presents to fill us with joy. In time, the greatest gifts become immaterial treasures. Like the spirit of Santa, St. Nicholas, and Father Christmas, we embrace this unique seasonal passion.

Holding you, in front of a roaring fire with roasted chestnuts, I see more than just a present for my heart. In you, I find the true meaning of the holidays. It’s more than just a celebration. It’s an affirmation of everything feeling we’ve shared.

With a simple kiss, we unwrap this precious gift.

With a loving embrace, our holiday spirits fill with festive joy.

With an act of passion, we usher in the holidays.

To you, my love, I can do more than wish you a Merry Christmas.

Together, we can make it more than merry.

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Nature Vs. Nurture: A Case Study In “The Big Bang Theory”

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What makes someone an uptight, narcissistic control freak who refuses to admit when they’re wrong and will never let anyone else sit in their spot on the couch?

What makes someone a needy, whiny, emotionally stunted man-child who is chronically insecure and in constant need of approval?

What makes someone an outgoing, overly social free spirit who is also habitually irresponsible, exercises poor judgement, and intellectually dense?

These are all personal questions that have a multitude of answers, none of which are definitive. There are entire fields of study devoted to answering such questions, none of which are perfect. It often comes down to a question of whether someone was born with certain traits or are simply a product of their environment.

It’s the classic nature versus nurture debate and, in almost every case, it’s neither one nor the other. Some people are born with certain traits or personality quirks that physically manifests in their brains. Others are heavily influenced by the people and environment they grow up around. In between all of this is a multitude of other factors that are difficult to quantify.

Figuring people out what makes them tick and how they got that way is challenging, even if you consider yourself a very insightful person. People, in general, tend to be complicated. Human beings might have basic drives to survive, reproduce, and find a tribe, but there are countless variations beyond those drives.

Many of those exaggerations are also pushed to hilarious extremes with fictional characters. Between the Hulk’s anger issues and Lex Luthor’s narcissism, fictional worlds can provide useful insights into the whole nature/nurture dynamic. Whereas someone like Lex Luthor was born with little empathy and way too much ego, the anger issues of the Hulk were a more complicated, as well as disturbing.

These characters, like real people, often have a combination of nature and nurture that helps influence who they, how they got that way, and what they eventually become. It’s often subtle and building a story around it is difficult. However, there’s one group of fictional characters that I believe embody the nature versus nurture dynamic better than most.

Those characters are the cast of “The Big Bang Theory,” a show that recently ended it’s remarkable 12-year run as one of the highest-rated sitcoms of all time. While the show has garnered plenty of criticism and outright hate, there’s no denying that the show struck a chord. No show involving the same group of characters lasts for 12 years without resonating with audiences on some personal level.

While there are certainly parts of the show that I don’t care for, I still consider myself a fan of it. I even admit that I got emotional when I saw the series finale. I thought it was incredibly well done and it marked a fitting end for the journey that Leonard, Howard, Raj, Sheldon, and Penny began 12 years ago. Many other fans of the show agreed with that sentiment.

Love it or hate it, and plenty did hate it, the show had a great deal of appeal outside its cheesy jokes and comical portrayal of geek culture. After seeing the finale and watching a few reruns, I think one of the most endearing appeals was how much the characters grew over the years. Given that it was a sitcom and character growth in sitcoms are notoriously slow, I think it’s one of the show’s biggest accomplishments.

From the beginning, the personalities of each character are established with distinct traits that were heavily exaggerated for comedic effect.

Leonard was needy, insecure, and weak-willed. He was basically the ultimate beta-male nerd from every 80s teen comedy.

Howard was obsessive, selfish, and immature. He also had some stalker-like creepiness baked into his approach towards getting women.

Raj was passive, effeminate, and quirky, but largely defined by his inability to talk to women.

Sheldon was self-centered, stubborn, and egotistical. He might have also been autistic.

Penny was a bubbly, upbeat, lovable free spirit. However, she was also irresponsible and exercised poor judgement, especially when it came to her personal life.

Like every sitcom, every major plot and iconic gag was built off these traits. From Leonard trying desperately to win Penny’s affection to Howard’s efforts to pick up women to Sheldon’s inability to keep a secret, “The Big Bang Theory” had plenty to work with in terms of eccentric personality quirks. I believe a large part of the show’s success is a direct result of how well it made use of those quirks.

As the show progressed and we learned more about these character, we also learn more about where they came from and what influences them. We find out that Leonard’s insecurities might stem from the relationship he had with his mother. He also learn how much living with his loud-mouthed mother has effected Howard. We learn where Penny came from and how that informed her personality.

We learn plenty about Sheldon too, but it would take a long time to go over his many issues. He was, by far, the most eccentric character on the show and one of the most controversial.

For each character, we get a strong sense of their nature. More than most sitcoms, “The Big Bang Theory” belabors and reinforces the core personality of each character. If you watch just a few episodes, you can get a fairly decent feel for their behavior and how they would react in most situations.

At the same time, however, the show also demonstrates how new influences change these characters over time. In fact, the foundation for this change is established in the pilot episode when Penny first moves in to the apartment across from Sheldon and Leonard. She is a very different kind of influence on these two and vice versa. You could even argue that it’s the most important catalyst for the entire show.

It’s only after we learn about the nature of each characters that we appreciate what a critical moment that was in the context of each character’s journey. Before Penny’s arrival, Sheldon and Leonard didn’t have many disrupting influences. They were surrounded in familiar territory. They had nothing prompting them to change or grow in new directions.

The same goes for Penny. Before she arrived, she was just a simple girl from the mid-west who had never lived around hardcore geeks and accomplished scientists. She never even showed much interest in science, geek culture, or anything of the sort. While it didn’t seem to affect her at first, there were signs of their influence as the show progressed.

Both Howard and Raj went through similar transformations. In the early seasons, there were many sub-plots built around both of them trying to get the attention of women, despite Raj not being able to talk to them without being drunk. Most of them fail spectacularly. Some were downright pathetic at times and not in a funny way.

 

Then, new influences came into their lives. Howard met Bernadette, who underwent her own transformation as she became a bigger part of the group. While their relationship had its upheavals, it did more than anything to humanize Howard. It still didn’t fundamentally change him. He was still immature and obnoxious at times, but he also showed that he could be a respectable family man.

Raj’s growth wasn’t quite as dramatic, but he did eventually learn to talk to women without the aid of alcohol. He also went from just wanting to get the attention of women to seeking love, marriage, and family. He even gains more self-confidence and assertiveness as the show went on, some of which was a result of interacting with Penny and the rest of the group.

Then, there’s the growth of Sheldon Cooper. More than any other character, Sheldon demonstrated the value of having quality influences.

His nature is, by far, the most eccentric and extreme. It’s the nurturing forces, however, that I think had the greatest impact on both his character development and the overall progression of the of the show.

There’s no getting around it. In the first few seasons, Sheldon was a stubborn, selfish egotist. For a time, it was even a popular refrain to note that Sheldon was just one lab accident away from becoming a supervillain. Given that most supervillains tend to be petty, eccentric, and self-centered, I think that’s an accurate statement disguised as a joke.

Thankfully, that accident never happened. Instead, Sheldon was frequently nudged and, in a few cases, shoved into being less insufferable. Penny was usually the one to get him out of his comfort zone in the early seasons. Then, Amy Farrah Fowler came along and gave him a nurturing force that seemed almost impossible in the earlier seasons.

Amy brought issues of her own to the table, but like Bernadette did with Howard, she proved to be a stabilizing presence for Sheldon. She didn’t fundamentally change him, nor did she even demand it. She simply provided new influences. Granted, he stubbornly fought them, at first. He fought harder than anyone else in the group. In the end, though, he still embraced these changes and was better because of it.

It was that change that made his Nobel Prize acceptance speech at the end of the show so perfect. In that moment, he achieved something he’d been hoping to achieve since the earliest season. It was the ultimate affirmation of his genius and his abilities, which he’d bragged and boasted about to no end. It could’ve been the ultimate ego trip for him.

Instead, he thanked his friends. He demonstrated humility on a stage in front of a huge crowed of people. For someone who started the show seeming incapable of empathy and nuance, it was a powerful moment. It showed that this weird, colorful character that we loved and hated at times had really grown. He even acknowledged the source of that growth in a genuine, heartfelt gesture.

When you look at that moment in the context of the entire show, you can see just how powerful those influences can be. These chaLracters, all of which were set in their ways to some extent, showed just how much those influences can change. Even for characters with idiosyncrasies like Sheldon Cooper, people can change in positive ways.

Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, Raj, and Penny wouldn’t have undergone those changes without nurturing one another to some stent. At times, that nurturing took the form of annoyance and frustration. That only makes the change more fitting because most people resist that change. Even in the real world, our default reaction is to keep doing what we’re doing and make every excuse along the way.

While many sitcoms have their characters undergo plenty of upheavals, “The Big Bang Theory” goes the extra mile in showing how people can be changed by the people and influences around them. They’ll still stay true to their nature.

Sheldon will always have that distinct Sheldon-like persona, as will Penny, Leonard, Raj, and Howard. However, with the right kind of nurture, they can become endearing characters in their own right. Say what you will about the quality of the show, but its place in TV history has been secured.

Bazinga!

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Christmas 2019 Edition

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I know this is a few days early, but for a holiday like Christmas, I think it’s perfectly fine to be somewhat premature. There are some very dirty jokes I could make about that, but in the spirit of the season, I’ll wait until after New Years. In the meantime, let’s all just take a moment to appreciate one simple fact.

Christmas is finally here!

Regardless of whether you’re a kid, an adult, or a grumpy old fart, there’s no denying the impact of this holiday. Christmas, at least in America, is the holiday of holidays. It’s the culmination of another long, arduous year. Whatever challenges and failures you face don’t matter. You made it to Christmas. It’s time to celebrate.

As I write this, the formal celebrations for my family are about to begin. We have our own share of traditions and activities that help make the holidays special. This year has been full of quite a few upheavals. There are many more that await us in 2020, but that’s for then. This is about now. I’ve got my presents wrapped. I’ve stocked up on eggnog and whiskey. I am ready for Christmas.

To everyone out there preparing their own brand of holiday celebrations, I wish you plenty of love, cheer, and desserts. Christmas is a wonderful holiday that’s worth celebrating with friends, family, and loved ones. It may not be the sexiest holiday, but it’s often the most satisfying. I hope these Sexy Sunday Thoughts can help supplement that satisfaction. Enjoy!


“Our opinion of sluts varies significantly, depending on how lonely and horny we are.”


“The fact that we have hundreds of ways to describe love and our genitals can’t be a coincidence.”


“The boldest teacher in history was whoever first tried to teach teenage boys how to use condoms.”


“To some extent, falling in love also implies stumbling onto someone’s genitals.”


“The world’s greatest spy is also the world’s least trustworthy spouse, by default.”


“When weird things make you horny, then weirder things count as porn.”


“No matter how sexually repressed you are, you still owe your life to an orgasm.”


Once again, I wish everyone a safe, happy, and sexy Christmas. In addition, I’d like to thank everyone who has followed my work and this site for another year. It has been quite a journey and next year promises more changes. For now, take some time to appreciate friends, family, and the holidays. From me to you, Merry Christmas!

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“Early Gift” A Sexy Short (Christmas) Story

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The following is another sexy short story with sexy holiday themes. It’s that time of year. Christmas is almost here! That means the time is right to get together with friends, family, and loved ones to celebrate the season. It’s also a time to share a little festive romance with that special someone. Hopefully, this story gets you in the mood while waiting for Santa. Enjoy!

“Are you ready yet, Richard? The weather isn’t going to get better out there,” said a stressed out and restless Helen Rollins.

“Almost,” answered her equally restless husband, Richard Rollins. “I’m just making sure your parents’ fancy dishes are tightly packed. I don’t need your mom giving crap about me chipping a cup again.”

“I already made her promise she wouldn’t be that petty this year,” she said.

“Doesn’t mean she won’t be. So long as she can piss off my mother through me, she’ll find an excuse.”

Helen rolled her eyes and groaned as she paced restlessly in the living room of the small, suburban house she shared with her husband of two years. She kept going over the list in her head of things they needed to do before heading to her parents’ house for Christmas. What should’ve been a joyous, exciting prospect had been mired in less-than-festive feelings for her and Richard. Many of those feelings pre-dated the holidays.

It had not been an easy year for her and Richard. It might have been the toughest year they’d endured since they got together. She and Richard had been childhood friends, growing up in the same community and coming of age together. He wasn’t the first man she dated, but she still ended up marrying him less than a year after they graduated high school.

However, that was where much of the drama between them and their families started.

Her family had always given Richard a hard time. Her mother once said described him as being good enough to marry, but not great enough to spend the rest of her life with. That was because he came from a broken home, having had a volatile relationship with his father and a less-than-supportive dynamic with his mother. Being the oldest and only girl of her family, her parents had hoped she’d move away and find someone who would lead her to bigger and better opportunities.

On top of that, her mother and Richard’s mother hated each other. Before she and Richard got married, her mother had sued Richard’s because she suspected she stole some rare jewelry that she owned. It got ugly fast, even after she dropped the suit. Nothing was ever proven and nobody went to jail, but that was the catalyst for many more feuds that quickly engulfed their lives.

At one point, Richard’s mother tried to make him enlist in the military in lieu of a baseball scholarship from a nearby college, thinking that would drive them apart. It didn’t work. When his mother tried to plant pot on him to get him expelled, that crossed a line that left scars on Richard’s heart that would never heal.

He could’ve broken up with her, if only to spare himself from more melodrama. Instead, he proposed to her. It showed how much he loved her and how much he wanted to get away from his family. However, it only acted as a catalyst for more melodrama.

“It’s just two days,” Helen kept telling herself as she paced about the living room. “Two days with my parents…two days of them harping on all the crap we went through this past year. We can get through it, right?”

She cursed herself for sounding so unconvincing. She wanted to believe that the holiday spirit would get her parents to overlook the issues surrounding Richard and his family, but even Christmas miracles only went so far.

The past year was a strain on all of them. While she and Richard had graduated college, him distancing himself from his family left him in a financial mess. He needed help and Helen had to convince her parents to assist them. It had not been a pleasant process. Her mother was especially reluctant. Helping Richard, in her mind, meant helping his thieving mother and that disguised her.

They still agreed. To his credit, Richard did his part. He used their money wisely, paying down debts and using the rest to get a business going with his old college teammate. It made for long hours and late nights. Helen did her part, working extra shifts at the hospital where she worked as a nurse. They barely had time for each other, which affected their love life, as well as their holiday spirit.

It didn’t help that her parents constantly pestered her about paying back the loan they gave them. They had fallen behind a few times in recent months, which made things even more volatile. Spending a few days with them, even for the holidays, was sure to bring up plenty of questions and complaints. They just had to endure, which only seemed more daunting with each passing moment.

“Okay, I think they’re ready,” said Richard as he joined her in the living room, looking as restless as him. “I even triple checked to make sure we have every dish.”

“I believe you,” said Helen, “but don’t be surprised if my mother still accuses you of stealing them.”

“I know. And I’ve been practicing my responses,” he said with a sigh. “I’m ready for her scrutiny.”

“Famous last words,” Helen muttered. “You know my mom finds a way and my dad never stops her.”

“I’ll endure. It still beats spending Christmas Eve with my mom and hearing how she pawned my old action figures to make another mortgage payment.”

“And people wonder why we haven’t been in the Christmas spirit all month,” she groaned.

Helen muttered more curses under her breath. She started pacing again, but ended up in Richard’s arms, who tried to ease the tension with an embrace. It helped, but only to a point.

He was as stressed out as her. He didn’t hide how much he resented relying on her family for support. Doing so vindicated their concerns that he somehow held her back, using their resources to rebuild his broken life at their daughter’s expense. It didn’t seem to matter that they loved each other. Helen tried to not let that affect their relationship, but it had only gotten harder this past year.

“We’ll get through this. We’ve gotten through much worse this past year,” Richard told her.

“I believe you,” she said, “but it feels like that’s all we’ve been doing lately.”

“To some extent, we have,” he said sheepishly.

“The extent doesn’t matter. It’s still so wrong!” said Helen, her emotions echoing through her voice. “Every day, it seems, we have to prove ourselves in some absurd way. I somehow have to prove that I made the right choice, marrying someone I loved instead of someone from Estate Hill. And you have to prove you actually know what you’re doing, building a life that your mother tried to destroy.”

“I wouldn’t mind that challenge if we didn’t keep having to prove that to close family members.”

“And that shouldn’t be the case!” she said angrily. “We shouldn’t be in a situation where dealing with family and building our loves needs vindication. You know, when my old roommate married her boyfriend, her family gladly supported them in moving up north for new jobs.”

“I’ll bet that made things nicer around the holidays.”

“That’s just it. I want things to be nice. Hell, I even wrote one of those goofy letters to Santa last week, asking for anything to make Christmas better this year. How pathetic is that?”

“It’s not pathetic, Helen. That’s just where we are right now.”

Now standing in the middle of the living room, Helen fought a round of sobs and buried her face in her husband’s shoulders. He gently embraced her, as he always did. She sensed he was as exhausted as her, unable to muster much strength after everything they’d been through.

It wasn’t right.

It shouldn’t have been this way.

They were young, in love, and building promising lives together. Why wasn’t that enough?

Helen lingered in her husband’s arms, if only to delay the prospect of hitting the road during snowy weather. It would’ve been nice if they could just stay home and spend Christmas in their undersized suburban house. She might have even suggested that if she weren’t convinced her mother wouldn’t use that as an excuse to hate Richard even more.

As they embraced, however, something caught Helen’s eye. She noticed something under their Christmas tree, which was in the corner next to their couch.

“Hey, what’s that?” she asked. “I thought we put all the presents in the trunk of the car.”

“We did,” Richard said as he looked over towards the tree. “I don’t remember that being there.”

Curious, they both made their way over to the tree where Helen retrieved the box. She held it up so Richard could see it too. It wasn’t very big or heavy. There was no tag on it, but it looked like it had been professionally wrapped. Just holding it felt strange.

“Just out of curiosity,” Richard said, “that letter you wrote to Santa…you didn’t send it out, did you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Richard,” said Helen, rolling her eyes. “It was just some act we did at the hospital. Maybe this just got mixed up in the gift exchange or something.”

“Well, what do you think it is?”

“I don’t know,” she said, “but there’s only one way to find out.”

They briefly exchanged looks, unable to come up with any reason to leave it unopened. Following their curiosity, Helen unwrapped the present, which revealed a small black box that resembled a jewelry case. Still seeking answers, she opened it to reveal a dazzling, flower-shaped jewel.

“It’s beautiful,” Helen commented.

“That, it is,” said Richard. “I wish I could take credit for buying it, but there’s no way you’d believe me. It’s not like I could afford something that fancy, even if it were a fake.”

“I’m not sure it’s real or fake,” she said as she looked at it closely. “It kind of looks like this gem my grandmother told me about as a kid. There was even this elaborate story about how a magic gem shaped like a flower gave two tired lovers renewed passion.”

“Sounds like quite a story,” he said.

“And one she claimed was a Christmas story, no less,” Helen added. “But it was just a story. There’s no way it could be…”

Her words trailed off as she reached to touch the gem. Richard reached out to touch it too. As soon as their skin made contact with the shining gem, something unexpected hit them. Like touching a hot stove or an exposed wire, a strange surge hit them both like a bolt of lightning.

What happened next defied the laws of physics, logic, and Christmas miracles. In an instant, all the stress that had cumulated over the past few weeks vanished. All the restlessness, anxiousness, and dismay faded like a fleeting memory. In their place, a new feeling washed over them…a very hot, very powerful feeling that filled them with renewed energy.

“Whoa!” Helen exclaimed.

“What the…” Richard gasped.

It was like a shot of adrenaline. Helen’s heart began pounding in her chest. The air around her suddenly felt 10 degrees hotter. Beneath her clothes, she broke out into a light layer of sweat. She looked over to her husband, who had the same intense look on his face. He looked ready to fight a lion with his bare hands.

The effects were strong, but the effects were concentrated in some parts more than others. Everything around her felt hotter, but the areas between her legs were by far the hottest. Helen instinctively rubbed her thighs together to dissipate the heat, but only made it worse. The effects remained the same.

She was aroused.

She was very aroused, more so than she had been in months.

When she looked down at her husband’s lower body, she noticed a large bulge forming in his pants. His demeanor quickly shifted. He soon had the look of a teenage boy who’d walked into class with an awkward boner.

“Richard,” Helen said, her gaze narrowing on her.

“I’m sorry,” he said, blushing profusely, “I…I don’t know what happened. I just…”

“Do me,” she said, cutting him off before he could ramble on.

Richard blinked a few times in disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something, which was often his first instinct whenever met by an awkward situation. For once, no words came out. He just laughed to himself, smiled at her, and adopted a sense of confidence she hadn’t seen in years.

“Okay, my beautiful wife,” he said. “I’ll do you right here…right now.”

“That might be the most loving, concise thing you’ve ever said,” Helen said.

In a move she hadn’t tried since she was a teenager, Helen jumped her lover’s arms and dared him to catch her. Richard met that dare perfectly, catching her and getting a firm grip on her butt in the process. She rewarded him with the deepest, hottest kiss she’d given him since their wedding day.

Impassioned and motivated like never before, Richard carried her to the couch next to the Christmas tree. Along the way, Helen unbuttoned his shirt and rubbed her pelvis up against the bulge in his pants. That motivated him even more. By the time he set her down on the couch, she’d already gotten his shirt off. From there, he went to work removing her clothes.

“Off! Take them off!” Helen urged him.

Richard heeded her desperate words, pulling her shirt off over her head and practically tearing off her pants. While she unclasped her bra from behind, he removed her panties, rendering her naked in record time.

Usually, getting her clothes off in intimate moments was drawn out. It had to be in order to set the mood and build up her arousal. That wasn’t necessary this time. She was already very aroused. Her inner thighs were so wet that she could’ve melted the falling snow outside. Richard clearly noticed that as well. While he admired her exposed body, she helped him out of his pants.

“Those look tighter than usual,” Helen commented.

“They are,” Richard said, already breathless.

“Then, let’s get them off as well.”

The grin on his face widened as they coordinated to remove those distressingly confined pants. In doing so, it exposed a throbbing erection the likes of which she hadn’t seen since their anniversary. Helen almost forgotten how well-endowed her husband was. Being reminded felt like a gift in and of itself.

“Ooh Richard!” Helen cooed. “Talk about a festive package!”

“Are you talking dirty to me, Helen?” Richard asked.

“Um…sorry?”

“I didn’t say I minded. In fact, I like it!”

As it to convince her, he pounced on her like an alpha male in heat. He quickly pinned her on her back, the worn fabric grinding against her naked skin. She loved that feeling. She loved it even more once Richard began smothering her with hungry kisses and heated foreplay.

They started making out like horny teenagers, fondling and groping one another as though being naked together was a novel concept. She quickly remembered how much she loved it when Richard nibbled on her neck and pinched her nipples. She returned the favor by squeezing that firm butt of his, which filled him with a manly vigor that reminded her why she married him.

Heated foreplay and making out was fun, but it was hardly enough to sate the desire that burned between them. Helen didn’t care that they had to be at her parents’ within the next two hours. She didn’t care that the weather almost guaranteed they would be late and her father wouldn’t accept excuses. She and her husband were going to make love. Nothing short of a Christmas miracle was going to stop them.

“Richard…take me,” Helen whispered into his ear.

Again, he replied with no words. Richard was once again a man of action and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

Still looking at her with unparalleled intensity, he rose up off her, turned her around, and bent her over the edge of the couch. Her shapely butt now pointed right at him, she could feel the desire in his gaze. He wasn’t just going to take her. He was going to ravage her, as only a loving husband could. Helen hadn’t felt so desired all year.

“Brace yourself, my love,” he said to her. “Consider this an early gift!”

With a strength and bravado that raised the bar for husbands everywhere, Richard grabbed her by the waist and aligned his rigid cock with her wet entrance. There was no hesitation or reservation. As soon as she felt the tip graze her outer folds, he entered her with a firm thrust. The quick and sudden melding of their flesh filled her sensations that might as well have been Christmas magic.

“Ohhh Richard!” Helen cried out.

Following the siren’s song of her cries, her husband proceeded to make love to her with a focused passion that rocked her world, literally and figuratively. She clung to the arm of the couch, feeling it rock in accord with each hard thrust. His hard, masculine member slithered effortlessly within her moist, feminine depths. It was like welcoming her lover back into her body, heart, and soul after months of distress.

Richard was just as welcoming. He was quite animated with their lovemaking. As he moved her body with hers, he leaned over and hungrily kissed along her neck, which evoked more cries. He also reached around and fondled her swaying breasts, sending shivers of ecstasy coursing down her spine. He embraced her with the kind of passion that any lover craved. It reaffirmed that their love was genuine. This was just them expressing it in a physical, tangible way.

It felt incredible.

It felt passionate.

It felt like everything she and Richard had wanted, but denied themselves.

It was just what they needed. The fact they received it on Christmas Eve made it feel like a wondrous, yet overdue gift.

“Helen…my love,” he whispered into her ear.

“Richard…I want this. We need this!” she panted.

The pace of their sex intensified. Richard moved his hips faster. The sound of his pelvis smacking into her butt filled the living room. It sent Helen deeper into a sensual daze. Eventually, that daze morphed into a sensual awakening of her own.

At one point during their ravenous humping, Helen flipped the script. She shifted their position, pinning her husband on his back, with one leg draped over the couch, and pouncing upon him like an animal in heat. From there, she straddled his pelvis and rode his cock with the same vigor as he’d dhown her. It caught Richard by surprise, but he didn’t seem to mind.

If anything, seeing his wife ride him like a Christmas sex goddess was a real turn-n.

“Wow! You’re right, Helen. We did need this!” he said with a beaming grin.

Helen just laughed and kept riding, taking his hands in hers and guiding them to her bouncing breasts. He lovingly squeezed them, evoking more moans to supplement the chorus of blissful gasps and grunts.

This was the kind of love that brought them together.

This was the kind of passion that had eluded them for much of the year.

This was the kind of gift that made Christmas special for years to come.

Together, she and Richard savored that gift. They used every ounce of the passionate energy that had overtaken them, going at it like horny teenagers all over the couch. It wasn’t just about getting off. It was about giving substance to their love. That didn’t stop a powerful orgasm from building in her core. Helen felt it approaching inch by inch, like a looming avalanche that she could see in the distance.

She sensed Richard was close as well. He didn’t usually draw sex out this much. They usually didn’t have the time or energy. That was not an issue this time. In his eyes, she saw both a desire to maximize the feeling, as well as a desire to maximize his approaching climax.

“I’m almost there, Richard! I’m almost…there!” Helen panted.

“I am too, Helen. I’m really…really close!” he said through labored breaths.

As they both neared their destination, their bodies shifted once more. Richard was now in an upright position, leaning back on the middle of the couch where it was the softest. Helen was on his lap, her knees planted firmly at each side while she rode his dick through the last leg of their journey. He kept one hand on her breast and the other on her hips, supplementing her every movement with his arms. Helen clung to his shoulders, holding for dear life as the feeling approached.

Their eyes never diverted from one another. His face remained inches from hers, keeping the love in his gaze at the center of her world. It made that ultimate moment when they climaxed together feel both special and cathartic.

“Oohhh Richard!”

“Ohhh Helen!”

In an instant, their bodies achieved a harmonious release. The movements stopped and the basics of pure ecstasy took over. It might as well have been another Christmas miracle.

Helen dug her nails into her lover’s shoulders. Her inner muscles contracted hard around her lover’s cock as every nerve in her core ignited with pleasure. As the avalanche of sensations washed over her, she sensed her lover get his too. She watched as his face contorted with ecstasy, his grip on her tightening as his manhood throbbed inside her. Hot manly fluids mixed with hot feminine juices as the waves of euphoric warmth flowed through them.

In that moment of raw bliss, born through an act of love on Christmas Eve, Helen and the man she’d so eagerly married kissed. Under the light of their Christmas tree and in wake of such a passionate surge, it might have been the most meaningful kiss they’d shared all year. It reminded her why all the stress, struggle, and melodrama was worth it.

“I love you,” she told him.

“I love you too,” he replied, caressing her face as they caught their breath.

“Thank you for this early gift,” she told him. “I still don’t know who sent it or how this happened so suddenly.”

“Does it matter?”

“No, it doesn’t,” she said without hesitation before embracing him closer. “This is what the holidays are about…connecting with those we love after such a long, hard year.”

“I’d say we got the connection part right,” said Richard. “And while I can’t promise that things will go smoothly with your parents, I can promise you this…I’m going to make things better next year. I’m not going to let the little things get in the way of our love.”

“That, my darling husband, might be the second greatest gift you could get me for Christmas,” Helen replied.

They shared a laugh and kissed again, allowing their bodies to settle as they shared in the feeling. Eventually, they were going to have to get dressed, hit the road, and endure her family’s holiday drama. Now, it didn’t seem so daunting anymore.

She and Richard had something rare and beautiful together. It hadn’t been an easy road for them. They had to overcome forces beyond their control. It was easy to overlook the strength of their love when their lives got stressful. Remembering that strength and embracing it on Christmas Eve felt like more than a great gift. It was a sign that their love could carry them through whatever fate had in store for them.

Even so, Helen still had a thank you note to write. She and Richard might have been too old for toys, but that didn’t stop “Santa” from giving them exactly what they needed for Christmas.

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Christmas As A Kid Vs. Christmas As An Adult

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As adults, we tend to see things very differently than we did when we were kids. There are exceptions, of course. I’m almost certain the look on my face when I re-watch an old episode of “X-Men” or “Spider-Man” is the same now as it was when I was a kid. For most things, though, our thinking and our perceptions evolve.

This tends to manifest a lot during the holidays. As kids, we know why we loved Christmas. We got presents. We got over a week off of school. We got to hang out with friends, show off our toys, and eat whatever sugary treats our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and neighbors put in front of us. What’s not to love?

As adults, it changes considerably and the extent of that change differs from person to person. I know people who tend to see the holidays as a chore as they get older. They rarely look happy or festive. They just look stressed out and constantly complain about how hard it is to find parking at the mall in the weeks after Thanksgiving. Honestly, I feel bad for these people.

For others, Christmas becomes more a formality. It’s like Thanksgiving, but with more decorations, presents, and eggnog. It means having a few days off work and catching up with family, especially if you didn’t get to over Thanksgiving. I can appreciate this too. Most of the people I know tend to see Christmas this way and I think it’s perfectly appropriate.

For me, however, Christmas has taken on a whole new appeal since I became an adult. While I don’t see it with the kind of wide-eyed excitement I did when I was a kid, I still get giddier about it than most people my age. I know this because other people, including close friends and relatives, have told me this directly.

That appeal still took a while to evolve. When I was in college, there was only so much I could do for the holidays. I was flat broke, in debt, and still dependent on my parents for all things festive. For several years, I had to do most of my shopping in the campus mall. While my family and friends never gave me a hard time about it, it did dampen my holiday spirit for a time.

Then, after I graduated, started making my own money, and moved out of my parents’ house, things changed. Suddenly, I could celebrate Christmas in my own unique way. For the first couple years, I didn’t even know what that entailed. Once I got going, though, I learned quickly.

I bought my own Christmas tree. I put it up in mid-November and put way more lights on it than my parents ever did. I started wearing ugly Christmas sweaters and novelty ties. I began shopping for Christmas gifts with more money than a broke college student. They were exciting times, to say the least. In the process, I learned something important about Christmas as an adult.

As a kid, Christmas is all about getting.

As an adult, Christmas is all about giving and giving with heart.

I know that sounds corny. I’m sure that will evoke some groans among those who love complaining about how Christmas has become so commercialized and materialistic. I feel bad for those people too because I couldn’t disagree more.

As kids, it makes sense for Christmas to be about getting stuff. We’re kids. We can’t get our own stuff yet. We can’t work, earn money, and celebrate on our own accord. We’re dependent on our parents and our family. Say what you will about that dynamic, those are the logistics we have to deal with.

Once we become adults, we learn what it means to be part of a community and a family. In that community, we can’t just obsess over getting stuff and not just so we don’t become a villain in a Charles Dickens novel. In the adult world, to get the things we want, be it love or a new iPad, we need to cooperate and connect with one another.

Sometimes it’s with friends.

Sometimes it’s with total strangers.

Sometimes it’s with co-workers, peers, or employers.

One way or another, we have to give ourselves to others in order to get what we want, regardless of what day of the year it might be. That’s what it means to be in a family, a community, and a society. It doesn’t always involve giving something material or wrapped in colorful wrapping paper. More often, it means giving our time, our attention, our affection, and our passion.

It may sound like a chore for some, but it’s very rewarding in amazing ways that science has documented. We are a social species, after all. Socializing, forming bonds, and making others around us happy makes us happy, in turn. Around the holidays, we just add lights, food, family, and festivities to the mix, which tends to amplify the effect.

I can attest to the power of this effect. As an adult, some of my favorite Christmas memories from the reactions I see on the faces of friends and loved ones when they open my gifts. The joy I see when I manage to get them something that they love is a true sight to behold. Given how I take gift-giving more seriously than most people in my family, they know I don’t take it lightly.

Those efforts help make the holidays more rewarding for me and my family. For me, it’s not about getting presents. I still enjoy that part as much as anyone who enjoys getting gifts, but I’ve become more and more fond of the giving part of the holidays. By making it more enjoyable for my loved ones, whether it’s through a gift, a treat, or me wearing a goofy sweater, I get more enjoyment out of it as well.

Maybe my idea of Christmas will evolve again once I meet that special someone and have kids. Until then, I have a clear plan for the many Christmas festivities to come. I’ve already completed my shopping. I’m preparing treats and activities, as well. I intend to give my family everything they’ve come to love and enjoy about Christmas. I may not top the previous year, but I will make that effort. That much, I can promise.

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Filed under human nature, Jack Fisher's Insights, psychology

How (And Why) Boredom Undermines Gender Equality

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Imagine, for a moment, you’re in relationship of perfect equality. You and your partner are the personification of gender equality. You share equal roles and responsibilities. In terms of who does what, gender doesn’t factor into the equation. You do your part and your partner does theirs. From dishes to child care to paying the bills, it’s as equal as any relationship can be.

In essence, your relationship is the ideal that feminism, egalitarians, and even most Men’s Rights Activists champion when they describe the fair and just society they’re fighting for. In a perfect world, your relationship would be the standard. Even if you can’t imagine your current relationship being that perfect, you can still appreciate the ideal.

As with most ideals, though, there’s a major flaw and it has to do with boredom.

The scenario I just described above isn’t another one of my thought experiments. It was inspired by a story in Pluralist about a woman who is frustratingly bored with her perfect feminist husband. To get an idea of how frustrated she is, here’s a direct quote from the article.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love him and this year we celebrated 17 years together – 13 of them married – but I wish he’d lie, cheat, defame or slander just once, so that I could feel better about my own less-than-perfect character. Simply put, I’m bored of being married to a paragon of virtue.”

Now, I know it’s tempting to roll your eyes at a woman making this kind of complaint about her love life. The idea that a spouse is too perfect is like a billionaire complaining that the seats in their new Lamborghini are too soft. I’ve seen more than a few comments on social media criticizing this woman for being so petty. Some have used her story as proof that women can’t handle nice guys and men just can’t win with women.

I don’t think that criticism is fair. I also don’t think that her story proves or disproves a particular aspect of gender politics. However, I believe it does highlight how boredom can complicate the push for gender equality. It’s a factor that rarely comes up in discussions surrounding feminism, men’s issues, LGBT issues, and the societal factors that exist in between. It still has immense influence.

After reading the Pluralist story, I felt sympathy for the woman. I know it’s hard to feel much for someone in such a perfect relationship, especially for those of us who are single, but I can understand how boredom can undermine a seemingly ideal situation. To some extent, this woman’s story shows how boredom can complicate the otherwise noble efforts to pursue gender equality.

In making sense of the woman’s feelings, I found myself thinking back to the high school. If that sounds like an odd connection, I promise there is a logic to it. Now, I’ve made clear in the past how much I hated high school. To say my experience was not ideal would be a gross understatement. That said, the idea behind high school has some useful parallels to gender politics.

The ideals of high school are simple. You take a large group of teenagers, put them into a structured environment, educate them to a particular standard, and send them out into the world with all the knowledge and skills they need to become functional adults. Again, that’s the ideal. While that effort works fine for some, there are many more for whom it fails.

For this particular woman, she represents the lucky few who ace every test, pass every class, and follow every rule. As a result, she should be perfectly equipped to enter adulthood. By all accounts, she does. There are no surprises or setbacks. Everything goes according to the plan and the ideals behind it.

It’s here where the boredom takes hold. That lack of major upheavals means there’s little in terms of challenge or growth. The path is already set. The obstacles have already been cleared. You just have to walk it and you’ll get to where you’re going. There’s no strain, but there’s no sense of achievement, either. In the grand scheme of things, you didn’t overcome anything.

In the context of gender equality, it’s akin to a clear, unobstructed path that doesn’t test or excite anyone. That directly conflicts with the basic psychology of boredom that craves novelty and seeks more intense sensations. Perfect equality, be it in a relationship or a high school, doesn’t leave much room for any of this.

This isn’t just about people being inherently flawed or needing something to complain about. In practice, true equality means the outcome of every challenge is determined. The woman herself stated that she knew how a situation would play out in her marriage. There’s never any negotiation or exchange. With such clear-cut equality, everything is pre-determined.

“If I told him on Friday I was spending Saturday chilling at a spa, he’d probably drop me there so I didn’t have to drive, then take the kids to their clubs before making sure the house was tidy.”

When everything is that predictable, then boredom is practically unavoidable. When there’s nothing to gain or lose, then it’s only a matter of time before malaise sets in. It’s not the woman’s fault and it’s not her husband’s fault, either. That’s just how boredom works.

The article went onto cite a number of studies that indicate couples in equitable relationships have less sex, but they primarily focus on the symptoms of boredom and not the underlying cause. For the woman in the story, I think her frustration has little to do with her husband sharing in the work and everything to do with how predictable everything is.

If I could talk to this woman, I would caution her against wanting her husband to lie, cheat, or develop a bad attitude with her. That might shake things up for her in the short-term, but would do a great deal of damage to the both of them in the long run. I would advise that she and her husband seek new challenges outside gender roles. Both she and her husband may benefit from shaking things up for a while.

What that may entail depends on the nature of their relationship. The article didn’t get into too many personal details and understandably so. Without getting to know this woman or her husband, I can’t be certain what else might be fostering such boredom. There could be other issues beyond their relationship that are causing these feelings.

Whatever the case, the corrosive power of boredom is difficult to work around. Equality is generally a good thing, but when equality fosters predictability, boredom is an unfortunate byproduct. This woman, whatever her politics, knows this better than anyone.

I still support efforts to improve gender equality, especially within relationships. I think it’s beneficial to everyone when roles and responsibilities are shared in an equitable manner. However, I also believe that human beings need challenges and obstacles. Without that, pursuing a greater good takes a back seat to escaping crippling boredom.

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Filed under gender issues, human nature, men's issues, outrage culture, philosophy, psychology, romance, sex in society, sexuality, War on Boredom