January 10, 2020 · 6:02 am

A Brief Message To My Future Wife

Every now and then, I find myself wondering what I’ll say to the love of my life when I meet her. I also wonder what I’d say to my future self if I could. I think everyone contemplates what they’d tell themselves at a certain point in their lives, past and future. Most of the time, it’s just a daydream or a thought experiment. As you get older, though, every sentiment feels more urgent.

I still believe the love of my life is out there. I doubt I’ve met her yet. I hope I meet her soon and not just because I’m getting older. There are so many things I want to say to her. Chances are, if you love someone with all your heart, you can never convey the totality of your feelings. Sometimes, you need both foresight and hindsight to keep things in perspective.

With that in mind, I’d like to share this as a simple message to my future wife, whoever and wherever she may be. I may not be able to put this into words at any point in our lives, but as someone who is still searching for that special someone, know that this sentiment is honest and true.

There will be days when I’m a pain to be around.

There will be days when I am distant and cold.

There will be days when I just don’t want to talk to anyone.

There will be days when I’m not in a romantic mood.

There will be days when I’m stressed out, overwhelmed, and in a bad mood.

There will be days when I focus only on where I’ve gone wrong and where I’ve failed.

There will be days when I blame others for things I’m responsible for.

It’s on these days, however, when your love means the most to me. I may not say it at the time, but know that it’s true. Even when I’m at my worst, I still love you. Moreover, I still need your love.

With time, I get through these days. They quickly become distant memories and I make an effort to ensure the good days outnumber the bad. Know that it’s you who helps make those good says worth waking up for, but it’s easy to acknowledge that when all is well. It’s much harder to convey when things are going wrong.

It’s easy to cherish love when all is well, but you can only know the strength of that love when things are at their worst. I believe our love is that strong. Never doubt that for a second, no matter how many bad days we face.

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January 9, 2020 · 6:03 am

Every “Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker” Criticism In A Nutshell

Recently, I saw “Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker.” People tried to spoil it for me. People tried to give me reasons not to go see it. I still saw it and I loved it. It was, in my opinion, the best of the sequel trilogy.

Having said that, there’s a reason why I haven’t written about it or done a full review, as I’ve done before. That reason has less to do with why I loved the movie and more to do with all the whining about it by a small, but vocal segment of the fandom. I won’t name names or cite outlets because they don’t deserve the publicity. The most they deserve is pity and a galactic-sized middle finger.

The most I’ll say about this movie is it’s great. It caps off the story. It has so many wonderful moments that are worth celebrating and if you like it, don’t let some asshole tell you you’re flawed because of it. You’re not. You like what you like and others don’t. Some people are just assholes about it.

That said, you’ll find plenty of YouTube videos and articles criticizing this movie to no end. They say a lot without telling you anything of substance. So, as a service to both Star Wars fans and people who are generally opposed to assholes, here’s all their criticism summed up in a single gif.

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You’re welcome and may the Force be with you.

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January 8, 2020 · 6:09 am

New Comic Book Day January 8, 2020: My Pull List And Pick Of The Week

Christmas may be over, but for fans of comic books, every Wednesday is Christmas. With every new week comes a new batch of comics and the world is a little more awesome because of it. In the past, I’ve singled out a single comic and tried to do a thorough review. However, in the interest of being more concise, I’ve decided to switch things up a bit.

From here on out, I’m going to use each New Comic Book Day to share my personal pull list. These are all comics I go out of my way to read the moment they’re available, usually through sites like Comixology. Sometimes, I’ll buy more if I have some spare change by the end of the day.

From that list, I’ll still single out a comic that I highly recommend. Please let me know if you like this new format or if you prefer I go back to the old one. Thanks and to all my fellow comic fans out there, I hope it’s the first of many awesome New Comic Days for 2020 and the decade to come.

My Pull List

Amazing Mary Jane #4

Batman #86

Excalibur #5

Ghost Spider #6

Magnificent Ms. Marvel #11

New Mutants #5

Star #1

X-Force #5

Supergirl #38

My Pick of the Week

X-Force #5

Some comics have broad appeal and multiple themes meant to appeal to as many people as possible. X-Force is not one of those comics. You don’t pick up an X-Force comic looking for big philosophical insights on the universe, the human condition, or what it means to be a hero. You go to an X-Force comic when you want to see gratuitous violence, pissed off mutants, and reasons as to why Wolverine drinks so much whiskey.

This comic has all of those things, including whiskey. The plot is simple. A group of well-armed mercenaries have invaded Krakoa. In the last issue, they managed to split Wolverine in half. In issues before that, the ones who hired them peeled off Domino’s skin to tap her powers. Even by X-Force standards, that’s still pretty brutal.

What makes X-Force #5 my pick this week is how Wolverine, Domino, and an emerging cast that includes Forge, Beast, and Jean Grey respond. They’ve been hit. They’ve been brutalized. They’ve been wounded and scarred in ways that no healing factor can treat. Now, they have a chance to take it out on the people responsible and they don’t hold back.

The results are bloody, violent, and compelling on multiple levels. Krakoa is supposed to be a place where mutants can finally enjoy some semblance of peace. Certain people in the world just can’t have that. Those people aren’t going to be reasoned with or convinced otherwise. That’s where X-Force comes in. It’s a dirty, ugly, unsanctioned aspect of making Krakoa work, but it’s necessary.

X-Force #5 reinforces that to an extreme. It also hints at where they’ll have to direct their gratuitous violence next. With the possible exception of having a weak stomach, there’s every reason to love what this book delivers.

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January 7, 2020 · 6:02 am

The “New Mutants” Trailer And Why I’m Rooting For This Movie

Since the conclusion of “Dark Phoenix,” a movie I genuinely love and have re-watched more times than “Avengers Endgame,” it’s been a strange time for X-Men fans. We know that the X-Men are coming to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. With the Disney/Fox merge finalized, it’s only a matter of time before we see mutants pop up in the Marvel universe. It may even come sooner than we think.

Then, there’s “New Mutants.” This movie, which is based on a well-known, critically acclaimed X-Men comic from the 1980s, is a hell of an anomaly. It was originally supposed to come out in April 2018, but got delayed for reasons that are too complicated and stupid for me to put into words.

Delays aside, it has a bold concept. It attempts to mix horror with superhero movies. It’s a unique combination, but one that doesn’t sound that outlandish. Remember, this is the same franchise that made “Deadpool” a Valentine’s Day movie. However, at a time when Marvel Studios has set such a high bar, it almost feels out of place.

Now, with a firm release date of April 3, 2020, it seems like “New Mutants” is still happening. The director, Josh Boone, has been given the opportunity and the blessing by our Disney and Marvel overlords to see his vision through. Honestly, after seeing the latest trailer, I’m rooting for this movie.

It’s not just that this movie is bringing to life more great characters from the X-Men franchise. This movie is attempting to do something that we’ve never seen in the MCU or from DC, for that matter. It’s daring to mix genres in ways they’ve never been mixed. It’s attempting to craft a different kind of superhero movie. Given the success of “Joker,” I’m genuinely rooting for this movie.

I really do hope it succeeds and not just because I’m a die-hard X-Men fan. I think the superhero movie genre needs this. It needs to show that it can expand, evolve, and grow in new ways. Superhero movies don’t just have to be this colorful, big-scale spectacles backed by Disney’s deep pockets. They can be something different, darker, and bolder.

“New Mutants” has had a lot of forces working against it. If it succeeds with critics and fans, then it sends a message to Marvel, DC, and the greater powers that be that there’s room for different kinds of superhero movies. They don’t have to follow the same formula. They can succeed in entirely new ways while still strengthening the brand.

If nothing else, it’ll tell the Martin Sorceresses of the world to piss off in the best possible way.

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January 6, 2020 · 6:02 pm

Ricky Gervais Offends, Insults, And Charms At The Golden Globes

Some people are just born with an innate talent to entertain. Others simply stop giving a damn at some point in their lives and say what needs to be said with a mix of hilarious wit and brutal honesty. If every this concept took a human form, it would look and sound like Ricky Gervais.

In case you didn’t see it, Mr. Gervais hosted the 2020 Golden Globes for the fifth and final time, presumably. As he’s done before, he teased, offended, and insulted the entire landscape of Hollywood with his trademark British charm and intoxicating smile. It was politically incorrect, over-the-top, and beautiful on every level.

It also reminded everyone in Hollywood that, at the end of the day, they’re still a bunch of rich, entitled fame whores with an inflated sense of importance. For most people who will never be rich or famous on that level, it was nothing short of refreshing. If you’re not convinced, see for yourself.

Thank you, Mr. Gervais. What you said needed to be said. I doubt anyone could’ve said it any better or funnier than you.

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January 6, 2020 · 6:07 am

My Workout Playlist (For Those Still Committed To Get In Shape This Year)

The first few days of 2020 have gone by quickly. We’ve still got plenty more to go and for those still serious about their New Years Resolution, I applaud and encourage you. Anyone who has given up on theirs by now was probably not serious about them in the first place.

Since one of the most common resolutions is to get in shape, I thought I’d touch on that again. A few days ago, I wrote about how certain people at the gym I go to didn’t seem to be taking that effort very seriously. I tried to be fair and offer advice for those who genuinely want to improve their health, fitness, and overall well-being. In hindsight, I think I might have been a bit harsh.

To make up for it, I thought I’d share one aspect of working out that I genuinely enjoy. It involves listening to music during a workout. I know that’s not a novel concept. Chances are that when you go to a gym, most of the people working out will have headphones on. I know because I’m one of them. In fact, listening to music while working out is something that makes my workout genuinely enjoyable.

If you want to do something that’ll make exercise feel less tedious, a good playlist is a great way to achieve that. What constitutes a “good playlist” varies from person to person. Not everyone has the same tastes. I know people who can work out listening to classical, jazz, country, and rap music. There’s nothing wrong with any genre. As long as it helps get you in the right mindset, then it can only help.

I have a lot of music on my phone, but I have a special playlist that I call my “Workout Mix” that I listen to whenever I’m at the gym. Whether I’m lifting weights or running on a treadmill, I just put the list on shuffle and have at it. Before long, I’m rocking out and working out. It’s win-win.

If you intend to get into shape in 2020, I highly recommend putting together a workout mix. If it helps, I’ll share mine. Please note that mine is tailored to my tastes. Yours are likely different. Pick the music that works best for you. This just happens to work best for me.

Metallica – Enter Sandman

Metallica – Hardwired To Self-Destruct

Quiet Riot – Come On Feel The Noise

DMX – X Goin’ Give It To Ya

Lady Gaga – Applause

Flo Rida – Right Round

AC/DC – Thunderstruck

Motley Crue – Kickstart My Heart

Collective Soul – Shine

Collective Soul – December

Soundgarden – Spoonman

Robin Schultz – Sugar

Rick James – Superfreak

Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit

Nelly – Hot In Here

James Labrie – Pretender

Guns N’ Roses – Welcome To The Jungle

Guns N’ Roses – Sweet Child Of Mine

Eve 6 – Inside Out

Drowning Pool – Step Up

The Beastie Boys – Fight For Your Right (To Party)

Bruno Mars – Uptown Funk

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January 5, 2020 · 8:51 am

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Deep Manly Voice Edition

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Anyone who has ever heard a Barry White song knows there’s inherent sex appeal in a deep, manly voice. Even if you’re a straight man, you can’t deny the impact. Hearing that voice, even in a non-intimate setting, just triggers all sorts of sensual feelings. In terms of sex appeal, it’s not the most obvious trait. However, when employed correctly, it can be very effective.

I’ve seen men in the real world prove that time and again. When I was in college, my roommate had this friend who had an unusually deep voice. It wasn’t on the same level of Barry White, but it definitely stood out. He knew that and the women he attracted knew that too. I know because he was rarely without a girlfriend or interested women.

One time, at a birthday party, he sang happy birthday to this girl. After just a few verses, I could tell she wanted to jump his bone. Had we not been in a crowded room, she probably would’ve been half-naked before he finished the song. Some women are good at hiding when they’re aroused. This woman wasn’t, but I don’t think she minded.

A deep, manly voice will evoke that kind of primal response. That’s not to say men without deep voices can’t be sexy, but having a deep voice will give you an advantage. When employed well, it can be a catalyst for all sorts of sexy moments. With that in mind, I hope you all read these Sexy Sunday Thoughts in the deepest, manliest voice you can imagine. Enjoy!

“Given the rigors of childbirth, it’s entirely fair that women can have multiple orgasms more easily than men.”

“In terms of overall rewards, finding your lover’s G-spot is not that different from finding true love.”

“What you lick during passionate lovemaking doesn’t matter as much as your eagerness to lick it.”

“There has never been a mundane way of finding out that you have a choking fetish.”

“It’s very likely that our love of oral sex influenced the importance of dental hygiene.”

“It takes a little luck to find love, but it takes skill and talent to make it sexy.”

“No matter how beautiful a woman is, having a better gag reflex will give them an advantage.”

Did you read all those in a deep, manly voice? Did it make a difference? Even if it didn’t, I hope it still got the point across. There are many things you can say to a prospective lover to get their interest, but how you say it matters. Saying it in a deep, manly voice might not add substance to the message, but it’ll give it an uncanny sex appeal.

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January 4, 2020 · 7:54 am

Saturdays, Sexy Short Stories, And Baby Yoda

It’s Saturday. I know that’s usually when I post one of my sexy short stories, but as I noted a few days ago, I’m cutting back on updates of that nature. That’s not to say I’ve told my last sexy short story. I still intend to write them, but I’ll do so more sparingly.

That could change if demand changes. I’ve noticed that traffic for my sexy short stories has remained somewhat stagnant in recent months. Is that because I’m not writing good enough stories? Is there a certain niche that I should focus on? I don’t get a lot of feedback so I’m not sure how to proceed. As such, I’ll be proceeding more cautiously.

In the meantime, in lieu of a sexy short story, here’s a picture of Baby Yoda being adorable.

You’re welcome.

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January 3, 2020 · 7:47 am

A Bit Of (Obvious) Advice To Those Trying To Get In Shape In 2020

I know it’s just a few days into 2020. I also know that this is the time most people try to uphold their New Years Resolution to get in shape and get healthier. I completely respect that resolution. In fact, I encourage and applaud it. I’ve made a concerted effort to get into shape. I can personally attest that it’s worth it.

However, I noticed something when I went to the gym yesterday that’s worth noting.

As always, it was crowded a few days after New Years. I expected that. I try to plan around it. While I still applaud people for making the effort, I question their approach.

To illustrate, here’s what happened. I saw someone sitting at a weight bench doing butterfly curls, but stopping for a few minutes after every set to check their phone. I don’t know if they were discussing something urgent. For all I know, this person was a doctor trying to communicate life-saving medical advice.

Even if that were the case, it’s not the kind of thing that’ll help you get into shape. If your workout is easy enough for you to text in between sets, then it’s too easy. You’re not pushing yourself. You’re not burning calories. You’re not building muscle. You’re barely getting your heart rate up.

I also saw other people just sitting on the weight machines, doing a set every several minutes or so, but still focused more on the TV that was hanging from the wall than actually pushing themselves. Again, if you’re able to focus on a TV show in between sets, then your workout is too easy.

I know you shouldn’t push yourself too hard, especially if you’re new to working out. I made that mistake more than once when I started working out. I injured my foot and my back the first week I went to the gym. I also learned quickly that if your workout isn’t intense enough, then you’re not going to get much benefit from it.

Like it or not, you’re going to have to strain yourself. You’re going to have to grunt, groan, and sweat to actually make a difference, both for your health and for your appearance. You can’t do that and stay engaged with your phone or the TV.

I feel like in the age of the internet where a simple Google search will show you everything you need to know about getting a good workout, nobody has excuses. If it helps, just check out this video for simple workout tips and let that be your guide.

If your focus is on losing weight and shedding fat, check out this video. It offers a nice tutorial on how to make a trip to the gym successful.

Again, and this is probably the simplest advice I can give, if your workout isn’t intense enough to keep you from texting someone, then it’s not intense enough.

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January 2, 2020 · 8:51 am

Announcement On Future Of This Site

I hope everyone had a great New Year. I also hope everyone is starting the new year on a high note and using it as an opportunity to chart a new path for themselves. To that end, I have an announcement to make and it’s an announcement that some might find disappointing.

For the past three years, going back to 2016, I’ve been writing constantly to add content to this site. In that time, I’ve talked about all sorts of issues, from my efforts to become a published author to controversial issues like abortion and religion to sexy short stories to my own personal issues. Make no mistake, I’ve enjoyed that experience. I’ve found it engaging, enlightening, and even a little fun.

However, I’ve been doing some serious contemplating for the past month. I’ve also been looking at the traffic stats over the past few years. While the traffic definitely grew to what I feel is a respectable point, I feel like I’ve reached a point where I can no longer justify the mount of time and effort that goes into constantly putting up content.

Writing articles, musings, and what not has helped attract new people to this site, but I don’t get the sense it’s doing anything productive for my endeavors. The traffic this site gets hasn’t turned into book sales or improved my chances with publishers. If anything, it takes away time I could be using to write more novels and explore new opportunities.

Believe me, if there were more hours in the day or if I got rich overnight somehow, I would gladly keep writing more content for this site. However, I simply cannot justify that effort anymore.

That’s not to say I’m shutting down this site or anything of the sort. It just means I’ll be cutting back significantly on what I post. I haven’t gotten much feedback on my articles. Even when I write something that get a response on Reddit, the comments don’t translate into much in terms of comments, retweets, or sales.

There are still some things I want to continue. I do want to continue my weekly Sexy Sunday Thoughts. I like writing those and the reward for that goes beyond clicks or likes. I’d also like to keep reviewing comics, but I may hold off on doing weekly reviews, unless I have something I feel is worth sharing. I intend to do that for movies too.

I’m honestly not sure what to do with this site moving forward.

I’m not even sure how I’ll continue to pursue a career in writing.

I’ve been searching for opportunities, but few are panning out. There are some options that I’m looking into, but it remains to be seen whether they’ll pan out. I still want to become a successful writer one day. I just don’t know how to go about it at this point and this site is just not helping in that effort as much as I’d hoped.

That may change. I hope it does change. I’d love to make a living writing the stuff I write. I don’t know if that’s possible right now, but I’m going to hold out hope and keep trying. That’s all I can do.

If you have any ideas or just want to comment, I’m happy to listen. Thanks to all those who regularly visit this site, some of which are my own friends and family. You’ve been very supportive and I can’t thank you enough for that. I hope it eventually pays off in a major way one day.

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