February 12, 2020 · 5:53 am

New Comic Book Day February 12, 2020: My Pull List And Pick Of The Week

There are just a few days left until Valentine’s Day. For a romance lover like myself, it should be exciting. However, since I’m currently single, it’s hard to get that excited. Being single on Valentine’s Day is like being sick at an all-you-can-eat buffet. You feel awful, but see so many others enjoying the many treats available to them.

I still hold out hope that I’ll one day meet someone that will make every Valentine’s Day both exciting and special. In the meantime, it helps to be a comic book fan. It’s not just that comics offer a weekly dose of concentrated joy, courtesy of Comixology and my local comic shop. Many of my favorite comics also include top quality romance narratives.

I’ve mentioned a few before and every week seems to build on that foundation. Lately, romance in superhero comics has been more refined than usual. I attribute that to far less reliance on horrendous love triangles and more emphasis on actual romantic chemistry. What a concept, right?

Romantic undertones aside, superhero comics are a fertile ground for romance. Some are more iconic than others, but even the non-iconic ones help add a little drama into the narrative. I find myself appreciating those narratives more and more as my tastes in romance mature.

Eventually, I’d like to craft my own real-world romance narrative with that special someone. For now, I’m content being single and enjoying a fresh batch of new comics. Below is my pull list, which tends to be larger than usual around Valentine’s Day, and my pick of the week. Enjoy!

My List

Amazing Spider-Man #39

Catwoman #20

Excalibur #7

Gwen Stacy #1

Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy #6

Immortal Hulk #31

Iron Man 2020 #2

Go Go Power Rangers #29

Savage Avengers #10

Supergirl #39

Superman #20

Thor #3

X-Force #7

X-Men #6

My Pick of the Week

It’s never too late for a character to become more compelling. It doesn’t matter if they’re in a superhero comic, a Seth Rogan movie, or cartoon created by Seth MacFarlane. A character, no matter how flat or one-dimensional they may be, needs just one quality story to give them the depth they need.

It’s been years since Mystique had a story like that. Aside from the underrated and over-criticized version offered by Jennifer Lawrence in the X-Men movies, Mystique has been one of the flattest characters in the entire X-Men franchise. In a franchise that includes the likes of Deadpool and Mojo, that’s saying something. That finally changed in “X-Men #6.”

This is one of those issues that may ultimately become one of the most important single issues in Mystique’s chaotic, yet colorful history. Writer Jonathan Hickman builds on the role she played in “House of X/Powers of X.” Having been part of the deadly battle to destroy Mother Mold and the Orchis Forge, she was on the front lines of the pivotal battles that helped establish Krakoa.

In the shadow of those events, “X-Men #6” expands on Mystique’s motivation and how it clashes with both Charles Xavier and Magneto. For once, her motivation has nothing to do with tormenting the X-Men, alienating off her kids, or messing with Wolverine. Instead of her usual hatred and vindictiveness, this duplicitous woman who never misses a chance to back-stab the X-men is driven by love.

It’s true. Mystique is capable of love. It may seem strange to anyone familiar with her blood-soaked history, but it’s true. She has always had one true love in her life. Her name is Irene “Destiny” Adler.

It’s impossible to overstate how important Destiny is to Mystique. She may be selfish, violent, and misguided most of the time, but her love for Destiny has always been a driving force. Even though Destiny has been dead for years, she still influences Mystique a great deal.

That makes her continued absence a bit of a problem for Mystique. She was among those resurrected by the Krakoan resurrection protocols in “House of X/Powers of X.” She knows the protocols work. She knows that Magneto and Charles Xavier have the ability to resurrect Destiny, but they won’t.

While they have their reasons, which were also made abundantly clear in “House of X/Powers of X,” it’s not enough for Mystique. She wants the love of her life back. Hickman further establishes just how much Destiny means to her. It makes her motivations and frustrations understandable. It even makes Mystique somewhat sympathetic, which is saying a lot for someone with her body count.

It’s refreshing and ominous. “X-Men #6” doesn’t just give Mystique an overdue does of depth. It sets her up to be one of the biggest threats to the future of Krakoa. She’s willing to do all sorts of horrible things for selfish reasons, but when she’s motivated by love, she’s more dangerous than a million sentinel attacks. That’s what makes her worth keeping an eye on. It’s also what makes “X-Men #6” my pick of the week.

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February 11, 2020 · 5:57 am

A Simple Comment On The Criticism/Whining On “Birds Of Prey”

Sometimes, a movie just fails to find an audience.

It’s not because of some larger social agenda that backfired horribly.

It’s not because of some huge backlash caused by misguided marketing strategies, either.

Most of the time, the world isn’t that fanciful. It’s just chaotic, unpredictable, and messy. No matter how much a movie, TV show, or product attempts to appeal to a broad audience, it can just fail. That’s all there is to it.

Trying to fit an agenda into that failure is like trying to build a conspiracy around why you’re stuck in traffic. The world isn’t out to get you or people like you. Most of the time, shit just happens and you’re just caught up in it. That’s not to say that agendas never squeeze themselves into the media. It happens, but it’s effect is often exaggerated. Most of the time, the final product just doesn’t work.

That brings me to “Birds of Prey.” Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I completely forgot about this movie. I had no excitement for it and not just because I was underwhelmed by “Suicide Squad.” I like Margot Robbie. I like Harley Quinn. She’s a great actress who plays a great character. The movie just did not grab my attention.

I saw the trailer. It was fine, but forgettable. I didn’t feel compelled to watch it 10 times in a row, as I did with “Wonder Woman 1984.” I didn’t feel compelled to see the movie, either. Even though it got good reviews, it just didn’t appeal to me. I planned to watch it when it came out on cable. Based on the early box office haul, I’m not alone in that sentiment.

I’d be perfectly fine to leave it at that. In previous years, I wouldn’t even bring it up. However, due to the growing inclination to make everything political, the under-performance of “Birds of Prey” is already getting the wrong people talking about it for all the wrong reasons.

Some are already lumping this movie in the same category as 2016’s “Ghostbusters” or the horrendously bad “Charlie Angels” reboot. Now, I don’t want to get into the politics behind it, mostly because I value the integrity of my brain cells. I’ll just say this. Whether you’re liberal, conservative, feminist, traditionalist, anarchist, or Marxist, there’s one thing to remember.

It’s a goddamn movie. Sometimes, movies just fail to find an audience. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.

Maybe it eventually becomes a cult classic, like “Blade.” Maybe it rebounds with good word of mouth. Either way, it has nothing to do with an agenda. The public, as a whole, just didn’t respond to it. Any criticism/whining beyond that is just asinine.

That’s all I have to say about “Birds of Prey.” Harley Quinn is still a great character and Margot Robbie is still a great actress. Your agenda, whatever it may be, has no bearing on that. It never has. It never will. Get over yourself and just watch the movies you enjoy.

 

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February 10, 2020 · 5:59 am

My Reaction To Week One Of The (New And Improved) XFL

Two years ago, I expressed intrigue and excitement about the prospect of the XFL returning almost 20 years after its initial failure. Part of that is because I’m a lifelong football fan. My annual excitement over the Super Bowl is proof of that. Another part of that is because the months between February and April, when baseball season starts, is a sports desert.

The NBA and NHL regular season is winding down.

The NCAA basketball tournament hasn’t started yet.

There’s a real void to be filled. Many have tried to fill it with spring football, including the first version of the XFL. To date, all have failed. It has led some to believe that spring football just isn’t possible. I respectfully disagree with that sentiment.

I believe there is a market for more football and I believe this new version of the XFL is doing everything right in pursuing it. They took their time, using the past two years to make sure they had plenty of money in hand and refine the rules. After plenty of waiting and anticipation, week one kicked off this past weekend. I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect. Given how the first XFL failed, it could’ve been a disaster.

After watching all four games and seeing the quality of the product on the field, I have just one thing to say. As it just so happens, Morty Smith said it better.

I know it’s premature.

I know a lot can change between the first week of the season in the last.

For now, that doesn’t matter. I’m in. The XFL 2.0 has sold me. It’s real football at a time when the sports world needs it. I was rooting for it before. Now, I’m rooting even harder. The world of football and the world of sports, in general, will benefit from the XFL succeeding.

I still miss the old XFL cheerleaders, but I’ll manage.

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February 9, 2020 · 9:32 am

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Love Letters

mother-yourself-this-mothers-day

In the era of the internet, the idea of sending anyone a love letter probably seems dated. Anyone under the age of 30 might look at the letters people used to send and cringe. The notion that you couldn’t send a message and get a response in under five seconds must seem horrifying on some level. Who could possibly wait that long?

While writing letters may be outdated, the idea of a love letter isn’t, especially with Valentine’s Day just around the corner. It doesn’t matter if it takes the form of an email or a text. The sentiment is the same. When your lover isn’t there to share a romantic sentiment, you have to send a message and hope they get it. A love letter may not be as effective as other gestures, but it helps convey passion on an important level.

I learned to appreciate love letters at an early age. Years back, my grandmother actually showed me a box of old letters that my grandfather sent her while he was serving in the military during World War II. The letters weren’t just a unique piece of history. They demonstrated that love is a powerful feeling, no matter the era or the medium.

Whether it’s pen on paper or through a smart phone, a love letter tells someone how much you love them. It conveys that your love is something that’s worth articulating in a tangible form. It’s a special sentiment that’s worth sharing. Please let these Sexy Sunday Thoughts inspire you to write a love letter at some point today. Enjoy!

“Multiple orgasm are the deep fried Twinkies of sex.”

“When you’re married to someone you don’t love, foreplay is like commuting.”

“Logically speaking, we’ll never know who first successfully faked an orgasm.”

“You can’t promote family values without indirectly promoting incest porn.”

“Loving someone often means acknowledging all the kinky stuff they want to do to you.”

“Technically, the first orgy was the first diversity initiative.”

“Prostitutes and celibate priests are the only ones who can put a numeric value on how many fucks they give.”

Love is a beautiful thing. It’s worth celebrating, sharing, and exploring. There are many ways to go about it. A love letter is just one of them. You never know how big a difference it can make in your relationship until you write one out. One day, you may get to share them with your grandchildren, if only to show that love is beautiful in any generation.

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February 8, 2020 · 8:10 am

How I Would (Most Likely) Use A Self-Driving Car

The future can be scary at times, but the prospect of improved technology helps make it more exciting. I would argue it’s the most exciting part of the future. You see some of the fancy gadgets that tech companies are working on and you want to live long enough to use them, especially the sexy ones.

I’ve talked about emerging technology before. While I tend to be hopeful about the impact of certain technologies, I don’t overlook the existential dangers they pose. Some of those dangers are more relevant than others, but others are less fantastic and more pragmatic. One of those advances is self-driving cars.

Unlike some of the other advanced technologies that are decades away, this one already exists, albeit in a limited form. There are cars on the market today that can drive themselves in certain situations. I even had a chance to ride in one a couple years back. It works remarkably well, albeit it could only function on major highways.

There’s plenty of room for improvement, but it’s a promising start. The fact that it exists and is being refined as we speak means this is happening. It’s at an early stage, but like cell phones before it, the technology will continue to be refined. Eventually, it’ll get to the point where it’s better at navigating traffic than any human.

I honestly look forward to that day because I’m not a big fan of driving. I don’t mind it, but I’ve never been particularly fond of long drives, even if it’s for a vacation. My back gets sore, my arms get stiff, and I just get frustrated after the third hour behind the wheel.

It’s because of my aversion to long drives that I don’t take as many trips as I wish. I believe that if I had access to a perfectly functioning self-driving car, that would change. If the technology were refined to a point that I’d just type in an address and let it do the rest, then I would definitely go on trips. .With that in mind, I’d like to share a brief anecdote for how I would use a self-driving car.

It’s Friday night. I finished my last workout of the week, cleaned myself up, and ate my dinner. I’m tired, but I don’t intend to spend the weekend lounging around the house.

About a half-hour before I usually turn in, I pack my bag. I then put on my most comfortable pair of clothes, take a quick bathroom break, and head to the nearest self-driving car. As soon as I’m inside, I punch in the address to the beach that’s furthest south from where I am, whether it’s Florida, South Carolina, or somewhere in between.

I make sure the car has the range and speed. I then close it up, turn the car on, and let it work. From there, I just lay back in the seat and let myself fall asleep.

If all goes well, I wake up just as the car arrives at the beach. Even if the sun hasn’t risen yet, it’s right there in the nearest parking lot to the shore. I get out of the car, find the best spot I can on the beach, and wait to watch the sunrise. I then spend the rest of the day at the beach, lounging about and hitting up beach bars.

Once the sun sets, I return to the self-driving car, punch in my home address, make sure its charged, and ride it home. If I’ve done everything right, I sleep through the ride and wake up in my driveway. It caps off the end of a nice, relaxing day at the beach in which I slept through the commute.

This is just one idea from the perspective of what I’d do. If you have other ideas on how you’d use a self-driving car, please share them in the comments.

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February 7, 2020 · 5:55 am

The Simple “Don’ts” of Valentine’s Day

There’s just one week left until Valentine’s Day. For me and others who are single at the moment, it’s often a depressing time of year. It’s a harsh reminder that we’re still alone and haven’t found that special someone. I don’t deny that I tend to get depressed on Valentine’s Day. I’ve shared some personal experiences to that effect. Being a lover of romance, but being alone on a day that celebrates romance just doesn’t feel right.

That being said, I still appreciate the spirit of Valentine’s day, as a romantic. I freely support any couple using this day to enjoy one another’s love, whether it be sappy or sexy. It’s a beautiful thing. It should be celebrated. Whether you’re married, dating, or in some elaborate polyamorous arrangement, this day is yours to cherish. Embrace it! Don’t let the cynical, jaded segment of the population dissuade you.

Since every relationship is different, there’s no one right way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. If yours is the kind of relationship that benefits by a day of ravenous lovemaking, then that’s great. Do that to your heart’s content. If yours is the kind of relationship that’s best celebrated by a good meal, a movie, and back massage, then that’s great too. Do whatever stimulates your romantic spirit.

Love isn’t just beautiful. It’s flexible. There are so many ways to go about celebrating it. However, there are also many ways to screw it up and Valentine’s Day is often an opportunity to show the state of a particular romance. If it’s failing, toxic, or just losing its passion, this is the time of year when it tends to show.

The way it shows varies, but there tend to be patterns. Being a fan of romance who tends to scrutinize romantic dynamics more than most, I’ve seen them play out in plenty of couples, going back to high school. Sometimes, it’s subtle and a couple can work through it. Most of the time, though, it’s a clear sign that it’s just not meant to be.

With that in mind, I’ve compiled a brief list of those patterns that both couples and single folk alike can appreciate. It gives those planning to Valentine’s Day something to keep in mind and those who hate Valentine’s Day some added perspective. Think of them as the primary “don’ts” of this Hallmark Holiday.

Keep in mind, these are just the ones I came up with as a romance lover. If you have others you’d like to share, please do so in the comments. There’s still a week left. For those lucky enough to be in relationships, it helps to know what to avoid.

Don’t use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to treat your lover as a maid.

Don’t treat every Valentine’s Day as a formality or obligation. It’s an opportunity.

Don’t be vague or ambiguous about what you want your lover to do for Valentine’s Day.

Don’t assume your lover knows what you want for Valentine’s Day and then get mad when they do something different.

Don’t judge the success of Valentine’s Day by how other couples do it. Focus on your relationship alone.

Don’t act like Valentine’s Day is no big deal if your lover takes it seriously.

Don’t devalue your lover’s efforts when they go above and beyond for Valentine’s Day.

Don’t make your lover randomly guess what you want to do for Valentine’s Day. Tell them if you know.

Don’t be afraid to explore new ways of exploring your relationship on Valentine’s Day. You may surprise yourself and your lover.

Don’t set unreasonable expectations on Valentine’s Day that produce more stress than romance. It should not feel like a chore.

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February 6, 2020 · 5:56 am

Sex Vs. Violence (And The Distressing Standards Behind Them)

What makes something obscene? I know the law has its own esoteric definition, but there’s no universal standard. What’s obscene to one person may be mundane to others. How else do you explain old cigarette commercials to millennials or the Super Bowl halftime show to baby boomers?

I ask this question because someone pointed out recently just how many of the biggest, most successful box office movies of the past 10 years rely on violence to sell tickets. I’m not knocking it. I was among those cheering during the final battle scene at the end of “Avengers Endgame.” I also freely admit I watched every season of “24” and was entertained by all the violence it included.

However, that same person who pointed out how much violence was part of these big-budget entertainment products, but was still PG-13. At the same time, if even one of those products included a single image of a female nipple or a depiction of a male penis, then it wouldn’t just be rated R. It would be deemed too obscene for children.

Think about that for a moment. A network TV show can freely depict a scene where Jack Baur tortures a prisoner and a PG-13 movie can depict Captain America beating the crap out of nameless thugs in an elevator, but the viewing public just can’t handle the sight of a female nipple. That’s just too much.

The only thing that could make it worse is the depiction of a penis. That wouldn’t just make a movie or TV show rated R. It would be classified as porn. Never mind the fact that half the population has a penis and even kids know what a penis looks like. Just a depiction of one in any form of media is enough to make it obscene. Meanwhile, you can buy a shirt that has Captain America punching the President.

Now, I know I’m bias because I write sexy stories and talk about sexy topics, but I feel it’s a relevant question to ask.

Why are we more comfortable consuming violent content than sexual content?

I get that sex makes people uncomfortable. I also get why parents don’t like talking to their kids about it. However, when it comes to violence, it’s okay to keep that in a proverbial blind spot.

I remember cartoons in the 80s and 90s. Those cartoons, in addition to being glorified toy commercials, used some form of violence to resolve a plot or tell a story. Some parents complained, but nobody thought it was obscene.

I remember watching “R-Rated” movies as a kid too. I put that in quotes because, by today’s standards, these movies would barley qualify as PG-13. The first “Terminator” movie was rated R. I saw it as a kid. My parents didn’t make a big deal about the sex scene in it, but that was often cited as the scene that made that movie R-rated.

If those same kids watched a simple depiction of two naked people making love, minus the violence, then that content would still be considered mature. If that scene didn’t hide genitals, then it would be considered porn. It doesn’t matter if the scene is romantic, tasteful, and completely consensual. It’s still as pornographic as the most depraved parts of the internet.

Why is that the case?

Why is this a fair standard?

Why do depictions of violence get a pass while depictions of sex are subject to rigid standards?

I understand sex makes people uncomfortable. I also understand that people can be immature about it. They can be just as immature about violence too, but people are willing to confront and tolerate it. With sex, however, it’s always obscene. It’s always taboo. There’s no room for nuance or context.

Going back to the standards of obscenity I mentioned earlier, I think there’s room for improvement. Violence, by definition, harms people. Sex, when done right, does the exact opposite. If we’re going to have standards for obscenity, then let’s at least keep things in perspective.

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February 5, 2020 · 5:52 am

New Comic Book Day February 5, 2020: My Pull List And Pick Of The Week

If you’re a football fan, this week is one of the most bittersweet times of the year. The Super Bowl is over. Even though it was an awesome game with an incredible halftime show that pissed off the right snowflakes, there’s no getting around the truth.

Football season is over.

Assuming you’re not willing to give the XFL a chance, we’re officially in the dead zone of sports. Until March Madness rolls around, there isn’t much to get excited about. If, however, you happen to be a comic fan as well as a sports fan, then you’re perfectly equipped to endure this distressing stretch.

For comic fans, there is no off-season. Every Wednesday is basically game day for us. Not every Wednesday is the Super Bowl, but some are more eventful than others. They may not include an incredible halftime show, but they include Wonder Woman, She-Hulk, Jean Grey, and Supergirl fighting armies of monsters and looking good doing it. To me, that’s the next best thing.

These next few months will be difficult for fellow football fans. For my fellow comic fans, though, it’s business as usual. Another week has come and another batch of comics have arrived. As always, and with the help of the fine folks at Comixology, I’m sharing my pull list and my pick of the week.

A new football season may be months away, but new comics are never more than a week. Nuff said!

My List

Batman #88

Captain America: The End #1

Dr. Doom #5

Lois Lane #8

Marauders #7

Magnificent Ms. Marvel #12

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #3

X-Men/Fantastic Four #1

Savage Avenger #0

Star Wars: Darth Vader #1

My Pick of the Week

As the great modern philosopher, William Smith, once said, parents just don’t understand. When we’re little kids, we’re often at the mercy of our parents understanding. When your parents happen to be Reed and Sue Richards of the Fantastic Four, that is compounded exponentially. Then, you become a teenager and other things become exponentially complicated.

I’m not just talking about hormones and body hair. Kids clashing with parents is a theme older than any superhero comic and while “X-Men/Fantastic Four #1” doesn’t reinvent the concept, it manages to do something uncanny with it.

This book brings to a head an issue that was teased back in “House of X.” Mutants all over the world are gathering on their new homeland, Krakoa. One of those mutants, however, happens to be Franklin Richards. While he’s best known for being Reed and Sue’s first child, he’s also a mutant and an insanely powerful one at that. This is a kid who creates entire universes with the same ease as most kids pop pimples.

While he’s been on the X-Men’s radar, they haven’t really forced the issue. That changes in “X-Men/Fantastic Four #1” in a major way. Initially, writer Chip Zdarsky and artist Terry Dodson has it play out as anyone might expect. A group of mutants come to convince a child’s parents that their child should come with them. Their parents aren’t having it.

When the book begins, you think you know who you should root for in this. However, Zdarsky and Dodson complicate things when they reveal that parents, for all their love and nurturing, don’t always understand. They think they’re doing what they feel is best for their family, but sometimes that becomes an excuse to do questionable things behind their child’s back.

It’s an age-old clash between wanting to protect your child at the risk of driving them away. It’s a clash that plays out in dramatic fashion in “X-Men/Fantastic Four #1.” By the end, it’s hard to know who to root for.

In the end, this is Franklin’s story. The X-Men and the Fantastic Four are just along for the ride and it’s already a hell of a ride. Whether you’re a parent or a child, you can find something in “X-Men/Fantastic Four #1” that resonates. It’s one of the most clear-cut picks of 2020 thus far. I’m not sure whether to call it fantastic or uncanny just yet, but so far, it has plenty of both.

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February 4, 2020 · 5:52 am

A Message To Those Who Whined About The Super Bowl LIV Halftime Show

I promise I won’t keep obsessing over the Super Bowl and how great it was this year, even though it was an objectively amazing game. I originally intended to take a break from sports references for a while, if only to prepare myself for baseball season.

However, those plans went out the window when I saw the equally amazing Super Bowl halftime show featuring Shakira and Jennifer Lopez. To say it was stunning would’ve been an insult. I’ll go on record as saying it’s the greatest Super Bowl halftime show of all time. I don’t see how it will be topped in the near future.

That said, I knew before it was over that it was going to piss some people off. I didn’t even need to check my Twitter feed to know who those people were. I could already sense the collective gasps of a certain segment of people who identify too much with Helen Lovejoy.

We know who these people are. Some of them identify with a particular religion. Some identify with a particular ideology. It doesn’t always come from one point in the spectrum, but it always comes from the extremes. It’s annoying, frustrating, idiotic, asinine, selfish, and just plain stupid. I put it on the same level as those behind those awful car insurance commercials that I despise.

To these people, there’s no arguing with them. They see two beautiful women dancing, singing, and energizing a crowd and they don’t see fun. They see something dangerous, subversive, and perverse. To them, such a thing shouldn’t even exist. It’s not just offensive. It’s dangerous and could corrupt the minds, bodies, and souls of children and adults alike.

To those same people, I have a message.

Grow up or get out.

If that sounds too harsh, I’m sorry. I don’t know of a nicer way to say it.

If you’re the kind of religious zealot who see women doing anything other than obeying her husband, birthing children, and keeping her mouth shut, then you’re in the wrong part of the world.

If you’re the kind of dogmatic, moral values preaching conservative who think women and music that wouldn’t be allowed in a 1950s sitcom is a subversive plot, then your attitudes are 10 steps behind that of most children.

If you’re the kind of regressive, perpetually angry liberal who think any depiction of beautiful women in the media is akin gross objectification that deserves the same condemnation of human trafficking, you need to drag yourself out of the dystopian fantasy land you’ve been living in.

I’ve no sympathy for these people. Whether they’re priest, mullahs, liberals, conservatives, rabbis, feminists, misogynists, or college students with too much free time on their hands, they deserve nothing but scorn. This was an incredible show full of beauty, spectacle, and wonder. It brought joy and astonishment to many. If you can’t enjoy that because your politics or theology won’t let you, then that’s your problem.

There are parts of this world in which you don’t have to confront such joy. There are entire countries where women are subjugated and censored by law. There are remote islands, villages, and lands on which you can’t even access spectacles like this. Go there and create your own joyless world in which women can’t be beautiful, men can’t admire it, and music can’t be played.

The alternative is to just grow up and except that entertainment exists. It’s beautiful, sexy, and powerful sometimes. If you can’t be a mature adult about it, then you have problems beyond your inability to appreciate a great show.

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February 3, 2020 · 9:56 am

Super Bowl LIV Recovery Day (And Celebration)

First off, what a game!

I had to say that, especially after the snoozer we had last year. I’m not a huge fan of either team, but I’m a big fan of great, exciting football and Super Bowl LIV delivered. It was a close, exciting game for all four quarters. It showcased two teams that definitely deserved to be there. They both played hard. They both showed why they’re the best. In the end, the better team won.

To the Kansas City Chiefs, you earned this. They played their best game on the game’s biggest stage. Their coach, Andy Reid, finally exorcised some long-simmering demons about his lack of Super Bowl success. Their quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, showed why he’s one of the NFL’s best rising stars. The entire team played like champions and now they are champions.

To the San Francisco 49ers, you put up a hell of a fight. Like the Chiefs, they proved they deserved to be there. Their punishing rushing attack and the steady hand of quarterback, Jimmy Garoppolo, made them one of the most dominant teams throughout the regular season and the playoffs. They beat some of the best teams in the league this past season, but in the end, they couldn’t beat the best.

I’ll be using this day to recover from both the excitement of the game and all the junk food I ate while watching it. To fans of the Chiefs, it’s a day to celebrate. Go on. You’ve earned it.

 

The NFL season is officially over now. While a part of me is sad, I still had a great time this season. It was fun to watch from start to finish. Once again, football made every Sunday feel special. I’ll miss it for the next seven months. Until then, I hope the XFL can fill the void.

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