May 31, 2020 · 9:55 am

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Muscular Manly Arms Edition

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When a man wants to flaunt how strong he is, he usually starts with his arms. It’s not the greatest source of strength or sex appeal, but it is one of the most prominent, especially for men. Regardless of how you feel about gender politics, one of the most defining traits a man can display is his muscles. The muscles in his arms just happen to be most prominent.

It’s often a gauge of how strong you are, how hard you’ve worked out, and how well you’ve been taking care of yourself. I know because I used that gauge when I started working out. After getting a healthy cardio going, I managed to lose some belly fat and assorted pudge. In doing so, however, I realized just how ropy my arms were.

That’s when the heavy lifting began. I’m not going to lie. My arms were pretty weak when I started. I could barely handle more than 15-pound dumb bells. Over time, that changed. As I got stronger, my arms got bigger. As my arms got bigger, I could lift heavier weights. Eventually, they got to a size where I could actually show them off. As vain as that sounds, it felt pretty good.

Strong arms go beyond aesthetics. When you embrace your lover, showing a little strength conveys powerful sex appeal. When someone is in a pair of powerful arms, they feel safe and loved. It’s one of the sexiest feelings you can share. It’s certainly worthy of some Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!

“Logically speaking, a control freak is least likely to suffer from premature ejaculation.”

“A part of finding love is finding someone you’re comfortable being horny around.”

“If you can effectively lick a popsicle, then you can give a man oral sex.”

“Some forms of BDSM are just extreme forms of enforcing manners.”

“Hand-jobs are the cheap breakfast burritos of sex.”

“There’s a good chance you’ve encountered someone in the past week just after they finished masturbating.”

“If the pursuit of hot sex were a game, then thoughtful gifts are akin to cheat codes.”

Now that summer is upon us, now is a good time to flaunt those muscular arms if you have them. If you don’t, it’s not too late to start working on them. There are many kinds of strength that add to your sex appeal. A pair of strong, muscular arms is just one of the most obvious.

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May 30, 2020 · 9:25 am

The (Understandable) Reason Why We Won’t Be Getting A Kinberg Cut Of “Dark Phoenix”

We’re living in an interesting age of cinema right now. Between massive cinematic universes, reboots, and all-female remakes, we’re in the midst of some major upheavals to the movie industry. It didn’t start with Netflix, but it’s definitely not ending with it. I’m honestly not sure where it’s going.

However, I am fairly certain that when people look back on this era of cinema, they’ll see the release of the Snyder Cut for “Justice League” as a turning point. It’s not just about a company giving into massive fan demand or big tech companies using major franchises to push a streaming service. It’s a sign that the overall vision for movies as a whole is evolving.

The issues surrounding “Justice League“ are well-known. There are plenty of other issues surrounding movies like it, from “I Am Legend” to “Solo: A Star Wars Movie” to “Spider-Man 3.” Those issues usually revolve around a studio, a director, and corporate executives not being on the same page.

The primary reason why the Snyder Cut is a thing is because executives at Warner Brothers opted to revamp, reshoot, and reconfigure the whole movie, completely changing the tone and plot along the way. That effort just didn’t work and it shows in the box office. If the Snyder Cut turns out to be a hit with fans and drives up subscriptions for HBO Max, the impact could go far beyond the future of DC movies.

This could open the door to other movies whose original vision was undermined. Companies are starting to realize that listening to fans can be profitable, as “Sonic the Hedgehog” showed. They’re also realizing that directors and producers need the whole of their vision realized. You can’t chop it up to the point where crucial parts of the story are left on the cutting room floor, as we saw with “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.”

I hope this will create opportunities for filmmakers and producers alike to realize their visions without having to chop it up for theaters. In an era of streaming services and binge-watching, a movie like the Snyder Cut can totally work. I’m genuinely curious about it and I plan on seeing it the first chance I get.

At the same time, I hope other movies get a similar chance, such as “Suicide Squad,” which was also subject to heavy editing. Sadly, there’s one vision that we’ll never see fully realized in an extended cut and that happens to be a movie that would’ve benefited most from more content. That movie is “Dark Phoenix.”

While I loved the movie we got in theaters, I could tell that it was a movie that had been significantly altered from its original vision. With the pending release of the Snyder Cut, a part of me hoped that we might get an extended version of “Dark Phoenix,” similar to what we got with the Rogue Cut of “Days of Future Past.”

Unfortunately, those hopes have been dashed. In an interview with IGN, Simon Kinberg himself stated outright that there was no “Kinberg Cut” to release. However, he gave a very valid reason for why that is.

IGN: X-Men Movies: Is There a ‘Kinberg Cut’ of Dark Phoenix?

“The movie they released was ultimately my vision for the film,” said Kinberg. “That vision did change over the span of making the movie. There are other scenes that we shot, just as there are a lot of other scenes in [Days of Future Past] that we shot and didn’t end up using. There were scenes we shot for that film and an ending that was quite different than the ending that was in the theatrical release. To release [a Kinberg Cut], it wouldn’t be just be like we splice those scenes back in, because those scenes were never completed because of visual effects and sound – all of the technical aspects that go into completing films of this scale. It would take a whole lot of work, but I appreciate the support.”

Kinberg also told us that many of the changes to Dark Phoenix stemmed from Fox’s decision to condense the project from a duology into a single film. There’s no easy way to create a director’s cut more in line with his original story plans without going back and actually filming that canceled sequel.

Kinberg said, “With every movie, there are things you wish you did differently. On every movie there are things you thought were great and perfect, and then you watch them and didn’t think they were as strong as you imagined and you go a different way. Dark Phoenix was a hard movie because, in its initial concept when I wrote it, it was meant to be a two-part film. And then it suddenly became a one-part movie for reasons that weren’t of my doing. Having to create around that massive change was a challenge in itself. All these movies are uniquely challenging.”

Those bold parts are my doing. They confirm what many already knew. There’s no extended cut to “Dark Phoenix” because it was originally meant to be two movies and that second movie never got made. There’s no extra movie of a “Dark Phoenix” sequel gathering dust in Fox’s vault. The cut we got in theaters was much of what got shot. Some things got edited out, but not enough to significantly change the movie.

These tidbits aren’t entirely new. Long before “Dark Phoenix” came out, it was heavily implied that it was going to be a two-part movie. That makes sense, given how it played out in the source material. The first movie would have Jean become Phoenix. The next would have her go Dark Phoenix. It could’ve been to X-Men what “Infinity War” and “Endgame” were to Avengers.

Sadly, Kinberg never got to make those movies. He was forced to condense the story he wanted to tell into a single movie. That means we probably lost some incredible moments that never made it beyond the storyboard stage. We never got to see a bigger, more dramatic journey for Jean Grey, the X-Men, and plenty of other characters who never showed up. It’s a shame, but it’s understandable.

If “Dark Phoenix” had one insurmountable obstacle, it was the pending merge between Fox and Disney. Once that deal became final, Kinberg’s window to realize his vision was greatly shortened. Granted, I think he did a great job condensing the essence of the Phoenix Saga into a single movie, but it could’ve been so much more.

It’s unfortunate, but understandable. There were forces beyond Kinberg’s control working against him and “Dark Phoenix.” Those same forces ensure that we’ll never get an extended cut because doing so would require that they shoot a second movie, as originally intended. That’s just not going to happen.

While that’s disappointing, it’s understandable. I’m perfectly happy with the cut of “Dark Phoenix” that we got, much more so than I was with the theatrical cut of “Justice League.” I genuinely hope that Marvel Studios will create a bold new vision for X-Men in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I just hope they avoid the same mistakes that Warner Brothers made with “Justice League.”

I trust that Kevin Feige has a vision for X-Men.

I hope that vision is as awesome as it deserves to be.

In the meantime, I’m looking forward to seeing what the Snyder Cut has in store.

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May 29, 2020 · 6:04 am

The Real Psychological Benefits Of Wearing A Suit

When I was a kid, I hated wearing a suit or dressing up in anything fancier than a pair of jeans. I didn’t even like it when I was a teenager. I always found fancy clothes like dress shirts and dress slacks to be uncomfortable. I couldn’t for the life of me find a dress shirt that didn’t itch terribly. As a result, there’s a significant portion of my life during which I rarely dressed up in a professional manner.

That eventually changed after college. To some extent, it had to change. I needed to get a job to pay off my student loan debts. There was no way I could sell enough sexy novels that quickly. At the same time, it changed because my mentality about suits and professional attire changed.

Specifically, I felt a real, psychological impact whenever I put on a suit and it a noticeably good way. The way I felt when I wore a suit was not the same as when I wore jeans and a T-shirt. I also conducted myself differently. I was more social, confident, and focused. In essence, I was a lot more professional.

Now, I knew what it meant to be professional. That’s something both my parents instilled in me at a young age. However, it wasn’t until I started wearing a suit and going into professional environments that I really appreciated it. At first, I didn’t attribute that attitude entirely to wearing a suit. Over the years, I’ve noticed that the mere act of wearing a suit has an effect on me.

It didn’t happen all at once, but I certainly felt it. One moment that really stood out happened just a few months after I graduated college. I was looking for a job and I was set to visit a job fair. To prepare, my parents purchased a $250 suit for me, complete with tailoring. It was, by far, the most expensive attire I ever wore.

At the time, I didn’t think it made much difference. In hindsight, it might have been the best $250 my parents ever spent on me. I vividly remember the day I put that suit on and left for the job fair. Before I walked out the door, I met up with my younger brother. I asked him how I looked and I appeared employable. He gave me this big grin that still makes me smile to this day.

I left feeling more confident than nervous, which was a huge shift at the time for me. I went to that job fair and I can safely say the suit made a huge difference. People came up to me, giving me their business cards and asking about me. I didn’t bring much, other than several copies of my resume. I ended up having to make more because I gave so many of them out.

The way people acted around me was remarkable. In my mind, I was still a college guy. To that point, that’s how everyone treated me. When I had that suit on, though, I wasn’t just some inexperienced kid. I was an aspiring professional on the lookout for new opportunities. Even if it was purely superficial, it gave me the confidence to conduct myself in a professional manner.

That effect continued, long after I got a job. I’ve worked in places that had casual dress codes, including one that allowed people to wear jeans and T-shirts every day. I’ve also worked in places that require a suit and tie every day, even on “casual” Friday. While the places with casual dress codes were usually more laid back, the professional attire seemed to keep everyone focused.

I can safely say that I feel more productive when I’m wearing a suit. My mind is more focused. I have more energy that I’m able to channel into whatever it is I’m doing. Even if the quality work is the same, the efficiency with which I do it is greater. On top of that, I look really good in a suit. That’s always a plus.

That’s another unexpected benefit. Outside a work environment, wearing a suit just makes you look better. As a man, I feel more attractive when I wear one of my suits. Women do take notice, too. I once wore a suit to a strip club. The women definitely treated me differently than other times when I just dressed causal. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say those details mattered.

I understand that not everyone likes wearing a suit. Some people don’t even experience any of the benefits that I just described. I get that. Everyone is wired differently. For me, and many other men, there’s a real psychological benefit to wearing a nice suit. It’s something that I’ve come to appreciate. It’s a part of my overall sense of style.

I may not know much about fashion. I just know that I look better, feel better, and conduct myself better in so many facets when I’m wearing a suit. To all the young men out there who despise fancy clothes, like I once did, I encourage you to give it a chance. You might be surprised by how a nice suit can impact you.

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May 28, 2020 · 5:58 am

How Much Should The “Central Park Karen” Be Punished? An Honest Question (And My Biased Opinion)

Karen

In general, I try not to comment on an ongoing surge of internet outrage. In my experience, joining the digital riot often leads to misguided and misappropriated anger. Sometimes, it’s based on flawed assumptions that mirror the same flaws as the moral panics of old.

That said, I’m going to make an exception for the recent case of the “Central Park Karen,” as she’s come to be known. I hope this is a rare exception, but I feel compelled to comment because I think perspective is important when the outrage is fresh. In addition, I have some personal experience with some stereotypical “Karens.”

To those who don’t know the story yet, consider yourselves lucky. This is one of those stories that won’t damage your faith in humanity, but it will raise some challenging questions. The basics are as follows:

  • An African American man was bird-watching in Central Park
  • He saw a white woman walking her dog in the same area without a leash
  • He tells the woman to put her dog on a leash, as is required by law
  • She gets upset and threatens to call the cops on him, claiming he’s threatening her life
  • He records the incident, posts it online, and the woman is vilified
  • The woman is later fired from her job

Overall, it’s a case of a woman being an asshole and potentially putting a black man’s life in danger. Sadly, around the same time this incident unfolded, a black man was killed while being subdued by police in Minneapolis. She might not have realized how dangerous it was for her to threaten this man in such a manner, but it’s still a dick move. She could’ve gotten him killed or seriously hurt over a goddamn leash law.

In this case, the facts are hard to dispute. The whole incident was captured on video. There’s no ambiguity on who was being the asshole here. It has become the ultimate manifestation of a stereotypical “Karen.” For those not familiar with this term, it’s an internet meme turned slur towards a certain type of woman. Here’s a quick rundown of those traits by Wikipedia.

The Karen archetype carries several stereotypes that are common to “basic white women”; the most notable is the stereotype that a Karen will demand to “speak with the manager” of a hypothetical service provider.[5] Further common stereotypes associated with the Karen pejorative include anti-vaccination beliefs, racism against black people, use of Facebook and a bob haircut with blonde highlights—pictures of Kate Gosselin during the airing of Kate Plus 8 were used in earlier memes about a “can-I-speak-to-your-manager haircut”,[6] and continue to be used in Karen memes[5]—engagement in multi-level marketing schemes, and Facebook posts sharing trite motivational messages.

With respect to this incident, the woman in question, whose name I won’t use out of privacy concerns, epitomized one too many of these traits. She acted like the law didn’t apply to her and threatened an innocent person of color, likely knowing that she had an advantage by being a white woman. In watching the video, it’s hard to much have sympathy for her.

I say that as someone with some admitted bias. That’s because I’ve had multiple jobs in the past in which I’ve encountered quite a few “Karens.” In fact, every job I’ve had has resulted in at least one encounter with someone who fits one too many traits of this stereotype.

When I worked at a fast food restaurant, I had Karen yell at me for trying to clean parts of a nearby table while her family was still eating.

When I worked at a software company, I had to respond to numerous Karens who demanded urgent assistance for issues that were trivial at best.

I know these kinds of women. I understand why they evoke so much animosity. I’ve harbored some of that resentment before. I don’t deny that my past experience affects how I interpret this story. While I try to be understanding in situations involving internet outrage, that’s considerably difficult in this case.

The outrage for this woman has already led to some major impacts. The woman has already been fired from her job and has had to make a public apology. On top of that, since her name has already been made public, she’s been subject to plenty of hate and harassment. By any measure, she has faced severe consequences for her actions.

That still raises one important question.

Has this woman been punished too harshly?

It’s not an unreasonable question, even from someone with a bias against stereotypical Karens. There’s a good chance that this woman’s life has been damaged for years to come. She lost her job. She’s being relentlessly harassed. She even had to give up custody of her dog. That’s quite a harsh punishment for someone who wasn’t arrested or charged with any crime.

At the same time, we can’t lose sight of the fact that she threatened an innocent man in a way that could’ve ended very badly for him. She openly and eagerly abused her status as a white woman flaunting the law. Had this not occurred, or had the video not gone viral, she wouldn’t have changed her ways. She would’ve just kept doing what she was doing.

That kind of behavior doesn’t just put innocent people of color at risk. It gives no reason for this kind of Karen-like behavior to stop. It’s only by facing consequences for her behavior that she realizes how wrong it was. Hopefully, others like her see what could happen to them if they were to behave in a similar manner.

That’s the best case scenario, but those scenarios are rarely the end result. At worst, this woman now has even more reasons to resent people of color. She might not have harbored overtly racist attitudes before, but she might feel differently now. She and others like her will now just have to be more tactful with their hate, which could subsequently lead to worse incidents that don’t go viral.

It’s hard to say without knowing the woman personally. I’m usually inclined to accept someone’s sincere apology. I genuinely hope that the woman was sincere. If the man she threatened accepts her apology, then I think the right thing to do is for the rest of us to accept it as well. She has faced plenty of consequences already. Forgiveness should be our first inclination when it is an option.

In a perfect world, the outrage would cease if the person wronged decides to forgive. Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world. I sincerely doubt the after-effects of this incident are over for the woman involved. It may take a long time for her to recover and in the long run, the outrage could do more harm than good.

It leaves me genuinely torn. I believe that asshole behavior like this should be confronted and punished, especially when it puts an innocent person’s life in danger. I also believe there should be a limit to that punishment. I just don’t know what that limit is and I think it’s worth contemplating.

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May 27, 2020 · 9:37 am

New Comic Book Day May 27, 2020: My Pull List And Pick Of The Week (And An Attempt At Normalcy)

For the past two months, it seems everyone is longing for or agonizing over a sense of normalcy. They look back on the days of being able to go to a movie theater, sit inside a crowded restaurant, or smell someone’s breath while they stand in a crowded subway car. While that last one might not be that fond a memory, it still symbolizes the same idea.

We miss that sense of normal. Even if the concept of “normal” had its problems, as it often does, we miss it. We’ve all spent the last two months enduring extended isolation while watching increasingly grim news surrounding a global pandemic. People don’t agree on much, but they can agree that this abnormal experience sucks.

I’m of the opinion that we can never truly go back to the “normal” we once knew. I’m also of the opinion that “normal” is an overrated concept. At the same time, I long for some aspects of that pre-pandemic world. That’s why the prospect of New Comic Day returning is such a relief.

It’s still not back to full capacity, but it’s getting there. Books that were supposed to come out back in late March are finally starting to hit both comic shops and Comixology. This week marks the first week where all the major comic companies make a concerted effort at returning to normal. I can’t speak for all comic fans, but I’m rooting for them to succeed.

As part of that effort, I’ve assembled a pull list and pick. It’s still too early to call this a return to normal, but I’ll take it.

My Pull List

Amazing Spider-Man #43

Aquaman #59

Avengers #33

Batman Beyond #43

The Flash #754

Marauders #10

Go Go Power Rangers #31

Supergirl #41

My Pick Of The Week
Marauders #10

There’s an inescapable law in superhero comics that’s right up there with characters not staying dead or Deadpool being annoying. If you invent a certain technology that can be used by villains, then there’s no uninventing it. You can scrub your computer. You can burn on the schematics. You can even try to mind-wipe everyone you told about it, which is possible in worlds that have telepaths.

There’s no getting around it. Some asshole will find it and use it to inflict harm, suffering, and chaos. That’s a lesson that Forge, and all of Krakoa, learn in “Marauders #10.” For the last several issues, someone with ties to corrupt, mutant-hating Russians has been using power dampening technology to abduct mutants and harass Krakoan exports. It has cost Krakoa money and it may have cost Kitty Pryde her life.

I say “may” because X-Men comics have really twisted the meaning of death and dying after “House of X/Powers of X,” albeit in a very awesome manner. However, Kitty’s status among the living is only secondary. What happened to her is just more motivation for Emma Frost and the rest of the Marauders crew to get back at the Russians who think they can get away with trolling Krakoa.

It’s a serious effort that has serious ramifications for Krakoa’s emerging status among nations. That doesn’t stop writer Gerry Duggan and artist Stefano Caselli from having fun with it. This isn’t some standard clash where the X-Men take down a few evil minions and blow up a few killer robots. There’s some real strategy and cunning employed.

By that, I mean Emma Frost weaponizes her tits in battle.

Yes, that really happened.

Yes, it’s as awesome as it sounds.

Naturally, Emma Frost steals the show, but there’s a bigger picture in “Marauders #10” that goes beyond stopping a bunch of renegade Russians. It’s another step in Krakoa’s growing pains as a nation. Mutants have established themselves as a world power. They’ve shown that they have valuable resources to trade.

Naturally, those resources are going to come under attack. Like any nation, Krakoa has to deal with competitors, enemies, and rogue elements from unfriendly nations. When mutant powers are involved, both the threats and the geopolitical implications are compounded. Smaller conflicts are now much bigger in scope.

It doesn’t help that things like power dampening technology and mutant killing robots are still out there in the world. Chances are the schematics are available on the dark web for a few bitcoins. When mutants were just scattered or on the brink of extinction, these dangers were localized. Now, they’re a matter of geopolitics.

That’s the kind of world that the X-Men live in now and “Marauders #10” builds on it. There are still plenty of obstacles for the X-Men and Krakoa to deal with. Some will be harder to overcome than others, as the loss of Kitty Pryde has shown them. However, even if they can’t undo technology like Sentinels and power dampeners, they can still fight through it and thrive.

It’s a testament to both Krakoa’s emerging power and Emma Frost’s uncanny tits.

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May 26, 2020 · 9:40 am

Drunks Vs. Stoners: How College Shaped My Opinion On Both

College is a weird and wonderful time. The experience varies for everyone, but it’s remarkable in that it gives teenagers on the cusp of adulthood their first taste of real independence. Most handle it fairly well. Others don’t. We know who those people are. We can identify them in almost every college movie ever made.

My experience was special in so many ways. I often credit college with finally cracking the thick shell of misery, social anxiety, and self-doubt that I’d built up over four years of high school. It was an experience I needed. I’m a better adult because I went to college. I learned many life lessons there, but I’d like to share one particular lesson that stands out more than most.

It has to do with stoners and drunks. Depending on your college experience, if you had one, this should bring back memories.

Specifically, I’d like to highlight why I preferred hanging out with stoners more than drunks. It’s something I confronted early on in my college career. As a freshman, I lived in an all-male dormitory. It was quite rowdy, to say the least, and I have any number of colorful stories that I could share. One in particular stands out and it set the tone for how I’d deal with both groups.

Even for those who didn’t go to college, there’s a good chance you’ve dealt with heavy drinkers before. They come in many varieties. Some are happy drunks, like me. When I get drunk, I tend to laugh, stumble, and hug random strangers for no reason. I’m overly affectionate, albeit sloppy. I tend to make a fool of myself, but in a not-so-messy way.

Then, there are the not-so-happy drunks. They’re the kind of people who, when they drink, have a tendency to get more confrontational. They’re not always violent, but they are uninhibited in terms of their willingness to pick fights. I remember being at a bar and seeing someone get pissed off because some girl laughed at his shirt. I could tell from how he was standing that he had a few too many.

While these types of drunks weren’t as common as the happy drunks, they often left their mark and not just with hangovers. Even among happy drunks, they did some damage and not all of it was physical. They would say things and conduct themselves in ways that made for some awkward conversations once they sobered up. One guy in my dorm had a bad reputation for pissing in the elevator every Saturday.

With stoners, the story was different and a bit more consistent. I got to know a few in my sophomore year. They were, by and large, the easiest kind of people to hang out with. Once they got stoned, they weren’t too picky about how they wanted to spend their time. They were happy just watching TV, listening to music, and lofting about without a care in the world.

For someone with sub-par social skills, like me at the time, they were a pleasant surprise. I was able to get along with them a lot easier than heavy drinkers, who instinctively wanted to do something crazy every half-hour. Stoners are just content re-watching Star Wars and bad sitcoms.

That mellow attitude was also gender neutral. There wasn’t much variation between the male and female stoners. The only thing I noticed is that the women just laughed more when they got stoned and were less likely to get paranoid. The women drinkers, however, tended to be a bit more volatile. They rarely got violent, but they were a lot more inclined to yell at people for no apparent reason.

One girl I knew through a roommate once got into a shouting match with her TV because the speakers kept shorting out. I’m pretty sure the TV won.

However, when it comes to incidents that best highlight why I prefer stoners over drunks, one stands out among the rest. It happened during my junior year. It was late at night and I was just returning from a friend’s birthday party. I’m almost at my dorm when I come across four guys who were definitely drunk, as their inability to stand clearly demonstrated.

They weren’t violent or confrontational, for the most part. A couple smelled awful, though. I suspect vomit was the source. They were actually really friendly with me because I was wearing a football jersey. They laughed and joked with me. Then, for reasons I still don’t understand, they decided to start throwing lit matches at each other to make one another dance. They even offered me a chance to throw one.

I politely declined and was on my way. I was laughing for most of them, but I was genuinely worried. It only took one mis-thrown match to make their antics dangerous. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. It’s still a memorable incident in that it made stoners a bit less stressful to hang out with.

To this day, I know plenty of people who drink and smoke pot. They’re all genuinely wonderful people with jobs, families, and heart. I’ll gladly have a drink with any of them. When it comes to just hanging out with no discernible goal in mind, I still prefer stoners. Their so affable and mellow. They’re also less likely to puke in my kitchen sink.

Yes, that happened once.

No, I’d rather not go into detail.

It’s just one of the many insightful experiences I gained in college. It might not be the most groundbreaking, but it did prepare me for the adult world in a strange, yet wonderful way.

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May 25, 2020 · 10:31 am

Happy Memorial Day 2020 (For What It’s Worth)

Today is Memorial Day. It’s an important holiday, but in a crazy year like this, it takes on a whole new meaning. If anything, those crazy circumstances make Memorial Day even more important. Whether you’re a former veteran, actively serving, or among the countless front line health care workers who are dealing with this terrible global pandemic, you understand why this day matters.

Soldiers put their lives on the line for their country. They sacrifice to keep us all safe. It’s a sacrifice worth acknowledging and celebrating. I have veterans in my family. I also have family who are no longer with us who served. They’ve tried to describe what it means to serve their country. I don’t think words will ever suffice.

On this day, we should all make an effort. Even if you don’t have any former or active soldiers in your family, this is the day to take a moment and thank them. If you can’t, then consider donating to some of the many charities that do the critical work of supporting our veterans during and after their service.

Once again, to all those who are serving now and have served before, I thank you. On a day like this during a year like this, your sacrifices have never been more meaningful.

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May 24, 2020 · 12:33 pm

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Memorial Day 2020 Edition

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Global pandemics have a way of tempering any celebration for any occasion. That’s understandable. This year has limited our collective ability to celebrate anything, be it Mother’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, or even a simple Saturday. However, for certain occasions, we should still make the effort. We may not be able to celebrate, but we can still acknowledge the importance of day.

Memorial Day definitely qualifies, in that respect. There may not be a lot of parades, cookouts, or pool parties going on this year, but those are only secondary. In terms of worthy things to celebrate, our nation’s veterans deserve to be at the top of that list. They’re the ones who willingly go on the front lines, put themselves at risk, and protect those who cannot protect themselves.

In a world where we need our heroes now more than ever, this Memorial Day is more important than most. The world is in crisis and that crisis is affecting them in uniquely difficult ways. There are opportunities to acknowledge the sacrifice and contributions they’ve made. Some are more elaborate than others, but you can get involved.

If you cannot participate in a parade or volunteer, consider donating to a veteran’s charity. If you have veterans in your family, give them a call. Give some of your time and your love for them. They’ve earned the respect and admiration of their country. They’ve also earned this Memorial Day edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!

“Being a perfectionist means having even fewer excuses to skip foreplay.”

“Practically speaking, a narcissist and a stalker should be the perfect couple.”

“Men will look at ugly breasts longer than women will look at beautiful penises.”

“How much can you really trust a sexually repressed person with a cucumber?”

“Asking why women sleep with rock stars is like asking why people deep fry twinkies.”

“Trying to fix a doomed relationship is like trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.”

“A serial monogamist is just a slut that can’t multitask.”

To all the veterans out there, from those who retired from service to those serving in the field, I salute you. Thank you for your service and your sacrifice, especially during times like this. We appreciate all that you do. You are the real heroes in a world that desperately needs them.

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May 23, 2020 · 8:22 am

How “13 Reasons Why” Handled Male Sexual Assault in The Least Sensitive Way

The following is an article submitted by my good friend, DC-MarvelGirl 1997. We’d both been working on pieces about “13 Reasons Why” and she was generous enough to submit this. She tackles an issue that I was very hesitant to write about and for that, I thank you. She does great work on her website, which I encourage everyone to visit.

We live in a world filled with double standards. It’s by far one of the biggest diseases we have in society. I’m not putting this to the same standards of COVID 19, which is by far the deadliest pandemic we’ve ever faced in worldwide. Double standards are a different kind of disease, meaning they breed this false sense of contentment. And no, I’m not just referring to the Theon Greyjoy memes, which are truly sad and pathetic. I’ll admit it. When I look up those memes, I at first chuckle. But then I remember why they were made, and it is to point out that Theon no longer has his penis. Suddenly, those memes are no longer funny.

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As much as I wish this article is about those Theon Greyjoy memes, it’s not. That’s what’s painful for me. This article is about the frankly piss-poor representations of male sexual assault in entertainment. And no, I am not referring to Burt Reynolds’ “Deliverance,” which was one of the first movies to put rape of a man into a scene. At least with that movie, it was done well. Even made for TV films like “The Rape of Richard Beck” did it better, because with “The Rape of Richard Beck,” now known as “Deadly Justice,” they blacked it out before the rape happened.

What I’m referring to is the rape scene from the season 2 finale of “13 Reasons Why.” It was the scene that made many people throw up watching it. For those of you who watched it, you know what I am talking about.

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Now, I’ll admit it. I never watched “13 Reasons Why,” because it was banned from my household by my mother. And after hearing about how the show got progressively worse, I’m glad I didn’t watch any other episodes beyond the pilot. It’s a show that psychiatrists cautioned teenagers from watching, because it could be triggering to those thinking about suicide. Not only does it send the contrived message that you can use suicide to get revenge, but it handled male sexual assault in one of the worst ways possible. Because I’ve never watched the show for myself, I had to do a little bit of research on the “13 Reasons Why” wiki pages, and look up articles critiquing it. The male rape scene centers around the character of Tyler, who gets sodomized with a mop handle by a character named Montgomery. Not only was the scene unnecessarily graphic, triggering, and disturbing leaving many either crying, getting sick, or feeling disgusted, but the aftermath of it all is what I’m most critical of.

I understand that “13 Reasons Why” wanted to show that men can be raped as well. But their delivery was terrible. Like I said, the scene was downright disgusting and stomach-churning. But they didn’t bother showing Tyler doing something effective to get the bullying to stop. It doesn’t help that the teachers in the show are portrayed as incompetent of seeing what’s right in front of them, giving this sense that you cannot even trust your teachers to keep you safe. But the show didn’t bother giving us scenes of Tyler handling the aftermath with maturity. They just cut to him wanting to shoot up a school dance, mirroring the Columbine massacre which is one of the most devastating tragedies in US history.

Let’s just say, I would have handled this rape scene and aftereffects a lot differently.

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If I were to write out that rape scene between Tyler and Montgomery, I would have shown the graphic violence of Tyler being drowned in the toilet and having his head slammed against the mirror. Then, I would have an extreme close-up of Montgomery’s hand reaching for the mop handle as the camera shakily backs away to display him leaning over Tyler’s back. Then, the scene would fade to black, signifying what’s to come. After that, I would have it fade into Tyler sitting on the bathroom floor with his pants down. That to me is more than enough to let the viewer know what happened, without giving you every, horrible detail of what happens. Then, there would be other scenes I’d add in.

How about having Tyler go to a hospital to be examined by a doctor? All the signs could be there, showing he’d been raped, but the doctor neglects to acknowledge this and that’s one of the things that pushes him.

How about showing Tyler being interviewed by police, but an officer telling him he was asking for it? That would also give him a reason to want revenge.

The reason why I put those two suggestions above, is because male rape isn’t given the same consideration as female rape. When a female is raped, it becomes a world-wide news story. When a man is raped, it’s not treated the same way. I tried to research cases of male rape in the recent years, and you wouldn’t know if there was, because the news doesn’t talk about it. Look at cases such as Corey Feldman and Brent Jeffs. Brent Jeffs I’m just mentioning, because his story is downright heartbreaking. He was raped by his own uncle, Warren Jeffs, the head of the FLDS. Jeffs’ story is one that many do not consider at all. Of course, people have the knowledge that Warren Jeffs raped and molested boys and girls alike, but they often forget to acknowledge that boys in that “church” were raped. They’re blinded by how horrifically the women and girls in that “church” are treated, that they forget about the boys. That to me is the saddest thing.

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If “13 Reasons Why” bothered displaying how the criminal justice system fails to acknowledge male rape victims, then that would have been a much more powerful impact than Tyler trying to shoot up a school.

Overall, “13 Reasons Why” failed in a major way to display consequences of male sexual assault. They neglected important details with the character of Tyler, and didn’t even bother showing Tyler going to the authorities until season 3. And the fact that Montgomery was just arrested on the spot for raping Tyler, when there’s no rape kit having been done? I don’t buy that for one second.

However, keep in mind, they did the same thing with Hannah Baker in season 1. She didn’t go to the police reporting teachers’ negligence. She didn’t go to a hospital to be examined by a doctor. She just blamed everyone for her suicide with tape recordings, claiming it to be all their fault when she didn’t bother going to higher authority for help. And the fact that they display her mother blaming everyone as well? To me, that’s even more pathetic. I understand that you are hurting because your daughter took her own life and that she was raped. But she also failed to get help beyond going to a guidance counselor, who clearly wasn’t doing his job.

Therefore, do yourself a huge favor, and do not watch “13 Reasons Why.”

DC-MarvelGirl 1997

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May 22, 2020 · 5:57 am

The (Many) Reasons Why “13 Reasons Why” Fails At Confronting Serious Issues

There’s a place for mindless, shallow, escapist entertainment in this world. I would argue that place is even greater now as we cope with a global pandemic. Sometimes, you just want to turn your brain off, watch your favorite superhero movie or Michael Bay explosion-fest, and enjoy yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that.

There’s also a place for entertainment that attempts to have a meaningful, serious conversation about a real-world issue. I’d also argue that kind of entertainment is more important now than it was last year. I know this kind of entertainment is risky, especially when it tackles taboo subject or social politics. Sometimes, that effort evokes distress, disgust, or outright hate. It’s still worth doing.

However, that kind of media can be counterproductive when it gets an issue wrong, flawed, or ass-backwards. When the conversation it attempts to have is misguided or contrived, then its effects can be outright damaging.

This is how I feel about “13 Reasons Why.” It’s one of Netflix’s most serious shows in that it attempts to confront serious, painful issues. From teen suicide to bullying to sexual assault to mental illness, this show attempts to portray these issues in a way that helps us talk about them. I respect that goal. I think the show’s creators, actors, and producers had good intentions.

I also think they failed in too many critical ways.

I don’t just say that as someone taking the time to critically analyze a show. As someone who was a miserable teenager, I really wanted this show to start this conversation. I wanted it to send a good, meaningful message through its morbid themes. After the first season, I was very disappointed and a little depressed.

The premise of the show has the right ingredients. It revolves around the suicide of Hannah Baker, a teenage girl who took her own life and left pre-recorded tapes behind for her fellow students, namely Clay Jensen, to follow. The story attempts to explore what led Hannah to this grim decision that left her family, friends, and community devastated. Unfortunately, in doing so, it starts the wrong conversation.

That’s not just my opinion. Organizations like the National Association of School Psychologists and the United States Society of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology have criticized the show for how it depicts suicide. It has also been linked to an uptick in suicides and suicidal ideation among teenagers. Now, that might just be an unlinked correlation, but it’s still a distressing sign.

Then, there’s the plot of the show itself. This is where I felt the show really lost sight of its mission because, as a show, there’s a need for drama. Unfortunately, incorporating that drama undermines the conversation and, in some cases, turns it against itself.

Beyond the graphic depictions of Hannah’s suicide, which was received so negatively that was subsequently cut out, the whole show is built around a world of teenage caricatures that don’t exist in the real world. It portrays a world that relies heavily on stereotypes, gives little depth to characters no named Hannah or Clay, and makes every issue seem overly simplistic.

That’s good for dramatic moments and concise plots, but not for having real conversations about complicated issues. The people in Hannah’s life, from her parents to her friends, barely function as background characters. The authority figures, namely those in the school or in the police, are even worse. They’re essentially portrayed as never caring in the slightest, only seeing teenagers like Hannah as a nuisance.

For a show that wants to have a real conversation about teen issues, this is a terrible message. Teenagers already have an incomplete view of the world. Many of them already think nobody cares about them. The sequence of events in “13 Reasons Why” only confirms that. How is that supposed to help any teenager who might be contemplating suicide?

That’s still not the worst part, in my opinion. If “13 Reasons Why” has one glaring flaw, it’s how Hannah’s suicide essentially affirmed her motivations. To some extent, Hannah got exactly what she wanted when she killed herself and made those tapes. She punished the people she held responsible. Her story became the story that everyone talked about.

This isn’t just a terrible message with a depressing premise. It effectively misses the entire goddamn point in the conversation about suicide and teenage issues. In effect, Hannah doesn’t commit suicide because she’s clinically depressed or mentally ill. She does it as a very graphic “Fuck you!” to a world that didn’t listen to her.

It doesn’t just hurt her family. It doesn’t just cause more pain to her friends, some of which genuinely tried to help her. It gives the impression that suicide will make someone relevant. It’ll make everyone who didn’t care suddenly care. It ignores the pain caused by someone’s suicide and focuses on how it punishes those who wronged her.

Hannah was wronged. There’s no doubt about that. She was outright raped. She was a legitimate victim. If the show had decided to focus only on sexual assault and avoid suicide altogether, it might have sparked a more meaningful conversation.

However, the show grossly simplifies her issues, as though one egregious act is all it takes to send her overboard. People, even teenagers, tend to be more complex than that. On top of that, Hannah is shown to make bad choices and take little responsibility for her actions. We, the audience, are supposed to sympathize with her, but she makes that more difficult than it should be.

I wanted to like “13 Reasons Why.” I really did. I wanted it to further an issue that I think should be addressed. I was genuinely disappointed with how it panned out. The fact the show got multiple seasons only made it worse, rendering every serious issue as little more than a catalyst for drama. I don’t recommend this show to anyone if they want to confront issues like suicide and depression.

Ironically, if not tragically, Netflix already has a show that addresses these issues in a much more meaningful way. It even manages to do this with cartoon characters that depict humanoid horses. Yes, I’m referring to “Bojack Horseman.”

I understand it’s a cartoon. I also understand it’s a comedy that’s meant to make you laugh at times. However, the fact it still manages to depict the real struggles of depression and mental illness in a relevant only makes “13 Reasons Why” more tragic in the grand scheme of things.

These are serious issues that deserve serious conversations. If you can’t start that conversation better than a cartoon horse man, then you’re doing something very wrong.

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