Tag Archives: Jack Fisher

“Loving Freedom” A Sexy Short Story (On The 4th Of July)

9040dd3143052b8d1ed9ae6308b130e8Greetings, and Happy 4th of July! I hope everyone has a chance to sit back, cook up some food on the grill, and enjoy a fireworks show wherever you are. In the spirit of celebrating this day of freedom and Independence, I’ve crafted a sexy short story to celebrate all things sexy and free. Enjoy!

“Looks like the show’s about to begin, Betsy,” said an excited Sam Washington.

“You are talking about the fireworks, right?” quipped his beautiful wife, Elizabeth “Betsy” Washington.

“And what if I’m not?” he retorted coyly.

“I’d be relieved,” she quipped, “because for us, the fireworks are never the best part of the 4th of July.”

Sam’s grin widened as he sat next to his wife of five years atop a large blanket on the isolated hilltop not far from their house. It was an isolated, remote area that few knew about and for good reason. He and Betsy made it a point to keep the place hidden. In the heart of middle America, it was their own slice of personal freedom.

That place gained even greater importance on 4th of July. As it just so happened, the top of the hill overlooked Liberty Lake Park, a vast island of grassy open space surrounding a lake. Every summer, hundreds of people descended on to docks to unload boats, jet skis, and everything else they needed to enjoy the mid-summer heat. The biggest crowds always gathered near the docks for the annual fireworks show.

It was one of the biggest in the state, boasting every year how it could light up the entire night for a brief, but memorable spectacle. It was extra special to him and Betsy because their first date had taken place during the 4th of July seven years ago. On that night, they started a tradition that they had cherished ever since.

“I even hear they brought in extra material from upstate,” Betsy added. “My sister’s old roommate says they brought in some fireworks from the baseball stadium they hadn’t used.”

“Are you telling me this to warn me? Or entice me?” Sam asked her.

“Can it be a little of both?”

“I’m good with either,” he teased. “It’s been a long, hard year for the both of us. I’m ready to just take a step back and celebrate.”

“Me too, my love.”

He smiled at his beautiful wife, her loving gaze building the anticipation. The stage was set. They’d just finished a round of freshly-grilled burgers, chips, and corn on the cobb. With full stomachs and a couple of beers in them, Sam was ready carry on that tradition. His beautiful wife in his arms, the fireflies already buzzing in the diminishing twilight, they anxiously watched the cloudless sky in anticipation.

“Any minute now,” Betsy told him, “and we’ll do plenty of celebrating.”

“I’m ready. America is ready. We’re ready, damn it!” he said with growing patience.

They weren’t going to start until the first round of fireworks went off. That was when the real show began. It made time move painfully slow. It didn’t help that Betsy wore those extra sexy high-cut shorts of hers, along with that red, white, and blue halter top. She claimed she chose that outfit because it was hot and it was patriotic, especially compared to his jeans and sleeveless shirt. Sam knew Betsy well enough to know when she had other, less obvious motives.

The way her long, smooth legs brushed up against him, her soft hands caressing his unshaven face, made the wait unbearable. Sam wasn’t sure the lover or the patriot in him could hold out much longer.

Then, it finally happened. The first round fireworks from the lake shot up into the sky, bursting in a dazzling display of reddish green light. A cheer erupted from the crowd of people gathered around the lake. For a brief moment, he and Betsy gazed up in awe as well.

That didn’t last long, though. As soon as the crisp night sky was illuminated by the display, Sam turned towards his beautiful wife and locked his gaze with hers.

“It’s time,” Betsy said with that all-American sexiness in her voice.

“God bless America!” Sam said eagerly.

With more fireworks going off, they kissed passionately. It started off soft, not unlike the kiss they shared on their wedding day. It quickly escalated, though, deepening into the kind of kissing they’d shared on their honeymoon.

Their lips swirled and their tongues twirled, the love they shared as husband and wife mixing with the lust they felt as two people of heightened passions. It conveyed a perfect blend of affection and desire, one they sought to express under the light of 4th of July fireworks.

“Sam,” she gasped, their lips briefly parting, “take me, you all-American stud!”

He didn’t need to be a loving husband or a former army grunt to heed those words, but they certainly added a sense of urgency. Once again, Sam was going to do it. He was going to make love to his wife under the light and noise of 4th of July fireworks on a muggy summer evening.

Betsy had already gotten ahead of him, kissing him again before pulling his shirt off over his head. He caught up quickly, though, picking his wife up in his powerful arms, earning a delighted laugh in the process, and laying her out on the oversized blanket they’d placed atop the freshly-cut crass. Now on top of her, he kissed her again before trailing his hands up her waist.

“Time get out of these sweaty clothes,” he told her.

“Mmm…it’s too hot for clothes anyway,” Betsy joked.

As the radiant light from the fireworks above illuminated the isolated hilltop, Sam went to work undressing his wife. First, he slid her halter top up over her head, revealing the blue bra she’d worn underneath. As she reached behind to unclasp it, he trailed his lips down her torso while undoing her tight-fitting jean shorts. He could already feel her body writhing with anticipation, conveying a growing desire to go along with the excitement of the spectacle above them.

“Off! Get them off!” Betsy urged.

Sam worked faster, pulling her shorts down her shapely legs, taking her panties off in the process. The moment they came off, Betsy removed her bra, rendering her fully naked. Being out in the open on a hot summer evening didn’t bother her in the slightest. If anything, it brought out an extra sexy side to her that drove him wild.

“Now, it’s your turn!” she said intently.

With the noise of more fireworks erupting overhead, Betsy pounced on him with unfretted energy, kissing him again and turned him over so that now he was on his back. She then hovered over him, letting those perfectly-shaped breasts of hers dangle in her face. She loved showing them off and he loved feeling them in his hands.

As he fell under her seductive spell, kissing down her cleavage and fondling her breasts, she reached down and undid his pants. Having already become very confined, he coordinated with his wife to get them off as fast as the mud-stained denim would allow. Feeling the hot summer air on his exposed flesh was nothing short of liberating, a fitting feeling for the 4th of July.

Now fully naked, alone and in nature together, Sam let his wild side show with Betsy. As the rate and intensity of the fireworks escalated, they engaged in an onslaught of impassioned foreplay. They rolled round on the blanket, the sweat and pollen sticking to their naked bodies. He felt Betsy’s hands roam wildly, pawing and caressing the sinews of his chest. He returned the favor, feeling up the smooth skin of her womanly curves, giving her butt a firm squeeze while still giving her breasts plenty of attention.

Together, they moaned and caressed one another, but much of it muted by the sound of exploding fireworks. That didn’t matter, though. Sam could literally feel the desire growing between them and not just because his erect dick was pressing up against her thigh. While he and his wife had always enjoyed extended foreplay, he hadn’t forgotten that time was a factor when making love during a fireworks show.

“Ready for the real fireworks?” Sam asked over the noise.

“Hell yes!” Betsy said with a beaming smile.

Showing the kind of enthusiasm that could inspire patriotic passions in anyone, she got on top of him again so that he laid flat on his back. She then positioned herself on top of him, getting into an upright position so that her pelvis was perfectly aligned with his rigid manhood. With the fireworks going off in the skies around them, it was an amazing sight, like gazing up at an angel surrounded by exploding stars.

“Just lie back,” she told him. “I’ll put on the real show!”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Sam said with a wide grin.

As a round of bright white fireworks went off behind them, Betsy grasped his sides and lowered her hips, working his rigid manhood up into her waiting depths. Upon feeling her tight, wet flesh around his, they each let out a blissful moan. Once again, it was muted by the noise from the fireworks, but that only served to motivate Betsy.

Fueled by a mix of passion – and the American spirit, as a whole – she began riding his dick in a fury of vigorous motions. She dug her toes into the blanket, tightened her grip on his waist, and gyrated her hips in a skillful display of loving sensuality. The way the hot folds of her womanhood slid along the length of his cock made it feel as though their flesh had been perfectly fitted for one another. It brought with it a steady stream of blissful sensations that seemed augmented by the fireworks displayed in the background.

To Sam, it was ecstasy and love in its purest form. Looking up at his beautiful wife, watching her ride him with such affection and dedication, was truly a sight to behold. The fireworks in the background was just a nice bonus. It made him feel like he had the best seat in the house for any 4th of July celebration.

“Betsy! Ohhh Betsy!” he moaned. “So much…love you…so much!”

“Yes! Oh yes! Oh Sam!” Betsy exclaimed.

Their cries exceeded the noise from the fireworks, a fitting feat for two patriotic lovers like them. Betsy stepped up the rhythm, her breasts bouncing more with each motion. Sam eagerly reached up to touch them, rubbing them with both hands in just the way she liked. He also made it a point to rub her nipples in a certain way. It was one of his wife’s favorite kinks and on such a special night, it was extra potent.

“Oohhh like that! Rub my tits…just like that!” she gasped. “You’re going to…make me…come!”

It worked even better than usual. As Betsy rode him with greater intensity, she placed her hands atop his and supplemented his skilled touching. Sam hadn’t known many women who could achieve orgasm by having their breasts rubbed. The fact he fell in love with someone who did made their sex that much hotter.

Between her riding his cock and him rubbing her breasts, Betsy’s ascension to orgasmic bliss was complete just in time for an extra loud round of fireworks. Sam watched with awe – both in reaction to the fireworks and to his love’s expression of ecstasy – as she closed her eyes, threw her head back, and let out a cry of euphoria to the heavens. As loud as the fireworks were, they didn’t stand a chance against his love’s bliss.

“My love coming on the 4th of July…my favorite spectacle of all,” Sam grinned.

As the orgasmic wave washed over her, he maintained his firm hold on her breasts. She clung to his wrists as well, her body writhing under the onslaught of pleasure. He felt the inner muscles of her womanhood contract around his member, tightly embracing his flesh in accord with her bliss. Every breath echoed with a delight, her naked body glowing even brighter under the light of the fireworks.

“Enjoying your independence, Betsy?” Sam teased.

“Mmm…how American of you,” Betsy said coyly.

Her body still shuddering from the pleasure, she released her grip on his wrists and leaned down to capture his lips in another kiss. Sam eagerly kissed back, embracing his beautiful wife fully under the spectacle in the skies above. However, he also hadn’t forgotten his own desires, nor did he forget the time constraints in which they were operating.

“Ready for the finale?” he asked her.

“Of course…my all-American lover!” Betsy replied without hesitation.

Taking the initiative, as only any former army man could, Sam repositioned their bodies so that he was the one on top. Their flesh never parted, not wasting a moment or motion.

Betsy eagerly adjusted, despite her post-orgasmic state. She spread her legs wider, hooking them around his waist so that the balls of her feet dug into his lower back. His sweaty flesh now meshed up against hers, Sam planted knees and feet firmly on the ground. Then, he buried his face into her neck and began making love to her at the same fervent rhythm she’d established earlier.

“Betsy…oh God, Betsy!” Sam grunted upon feeling that intimate bliss once more. “I want you…want this.”

“That’s it, my love,” she told him. “Make love to me…under the stars…and the fireworks.”

Her loving, affectionate tone somehow found a way to echo over the noise of fireworks in the sky. It might have been a 4th of July miracle or his desire to make love to his wife was just that strong.

Whatever the case, Sam went with it. Like a man on a mission, he worked his body against hers, thrusting and pumping his rigid manhood within his lover’s depths. Every movement brought with it a surge of hot sensations, each bringing him closer to his approaching peak. He had held back before so his wife could enjoy her ecstasy. Now, he sought to share in that feeling.

As that blissful peak approached, the noise from the fireworks got louder. It sounded like the show was at its finale as well, firing off every last mortar and firecracker. Betsy, her chin dug into his shoulder, probably had the best possible view. He could sense her awe, but he still felt like he was part of the real spectacle.

“Betsy…I’m so close,” he gasped. “The finale…so close!”

“I feel it too, Sam,” Betsy panted. “Come, my love. Celebrate with me!”

Armed with his passion and his all-American grit, Sam’s heated movements in lovemaking sent him to the brink. For a brief moment, it seemed unlikely that he would achieve that peak in time for the fireworks to end. In what felt like another 4th of July miracle, he achieved his climax as well.

It struck just as one of the brightest displays from the show lit up the sky, so much so that it illuminated Betsy’s face like the midday sun. As he took in her loving gaze, his hold on her intensified as every fiber in his body was awash in pleasure. White hot pleasure surged from his core, sending ripples of euphoria from head to toe. His manhood throbbed inside her in accord with his release, his sexual fluids mixing with hers in a potent blend of passion.

Throughout that ecstasy, his gaze never diverted from her and hers never diverted from his. In that moment, in that instance of ultimate intimate bliss, they shared a deep kiss to cap off the finale. Fittingly enough, that was the exact moment the fireworks display ceased.

The timing was perfect. As they kissed, they could hear the crowd around the lake cheering the show. It felt like they’d been cheering him and Betsy on as they made love. The probably thought they’d seen the best American spectacle show in the state. They were dead wrong.

“I love you, Betsy,” Sam said, the skies now quiet.

“I love you too, Sam,” Betsy replied with her loving gaze.

“Happy 4th of July, my freedom-loving wife.”

“Same to you, my American stud of a husband.”

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Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Cold Lemonade Edition

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This is the time of year when every day becomes inherently better if you have a glass of ice cold lemonade within reaching distance. Between heat waves, humidity, and sun burns, a glass of cold lemonade goes a long way towards making summer feel complete. Like snow on Christmas morning, it just feels right. If you can throw in a little vodka, then that’s just icing on the cake.

Since I was a kid, I felt as though no summer was complete without a cold glass of lemonade. It was something I actually picked up from my father. He worked outdoors a lot and whenever he came in, all sweaty and dirty, the first thing he did was get himself a glass of lemonade. Even when we went out to eat, that was his drink of choice on hot days. It always seemed to boost his mood so naturally, I picked up on it.

As I write this, I’ve got cold glass of lemonade right next to me. It’s sweet, it’s cold, and it makes my weekend feel that much more complete. Sure, a morning cup of coffee may wake you up, but a cold glass of lemonade will put a smile on your face. You don’t have to be sitting on a beach or by a pool to enjoy it, but it certainly helps.

I know I sound way too enthusiastic about a simple drink that kids like to sell for quarters on a curb, but I stand by my love of lemonade in the summer every bit as much as I stand by my love of sleeping naked. That’s why I’m dedicating this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to that special feeling that comes with every cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer day. Enjoy!


“Good manners and good oral sex have a lot in common when you think about it.”


“Technically, watching porn is the only spectator sport where the audience can also score.”


“Awkward boners are like annoying pop-up ads and tight briefs are like ad blockers.”


“The first step to falling in love is wanting to see someone have and orgasm and the last step is convincing them to let you regularly give them one.”


“Babies are precious because they’re the only tangible proof that you’ve had sex.”


“Any toy can be a sex toy with the right application of lube, kink, and pain tolerance.”


“Misery loves company, but only confidence can organize a three-way.”


I hope you enjoyed that, even if you had no cold lemonade nearby. The hottest days of summer are still ahead of us. It’s going to get hot, sweaty, and sticky. There will be times where you can’t legally ditch the clothes to cool off. In my experience, a cold glass of lemonade is the next best thing.

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Milestones, Publishing Plans, And Gratitude

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It’s been a while since I’ve talked about my ongoing efforts to further my career as an aspiring erotica/romance writer. It’s also been a while since I talked about the traffic volumes of this website. To be fair, recent events involving superhero movies, sex robots, and news involving frustrating social trends have given me plenty to write about. Even with those distractions, I know I’m due for an update of sorts.

First and foremost, I want to make clear that I’m still working hard at breaking into the world of publishing. While “Passion Relapse” and “Rescued Hearts” marked my first novels that were officially published, thanks to Totally Entwined Group, I had hoped they would be a stepping stone. That hasn’t quite worked out.

For the past few months, I’ve been shopping multiple manuscripts that I’ve been sitting on for a while now. However, much to my dismay, none have been accepted for publication. While Totally Entwined Group has been wonderfully helpful every step of the way, they’ve chosen to go in a different direction and I’m almost back at square one.

I say almost because, as I write this, I’ve got another novel that has been in publishing limbo for over a year now. That novel, “Embers of Eros,” was accepted a while back by a small publisher for consideration. I got news just a few weeks ago that the publisher is shutting down and I’ll be getting the full rights to the novel back.

This novel was already professionally edited and even had cover art made for it. I’m hoping that will make it a more appealing offer for publishers or literary agents. I’m still working on the details since there is some paperwork involved, but I still hope to get that book published at some point.

While the news surrounding my novels hasn’t been that promising, things are going much better with my Sexy Short Stories. I began doing these late last year as an experiment in providing more diverse content on this site. The results exceeded my expectations.

The traffic generated by these stories has been growing steadily with each story. This past month, they’ve helped this site set yet another traffic milestone. According to my WordPress stats, this site generated over 22,000 views for June 2018. Some of my most heavily-trafficked pages included short stories like “The New Neighbor” and “The Camping Trip.”

To date, I’ve written 13 of these stories and I’ve plans to write many more. I’m not yet decided on the release schedule for them. I’m contemplating whether I should set a day aside for them like I do with my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. I’ve also thought about having a regular release schedule, such as releasing them on a bi-weekly basis.

These are all tentative plans, but with the way traffic has grown this past month, I really want to further those plans as much as possible. If anyone out there who has been regularly following this site has any preferences, comments, or suggestions, please let me know in the comments. I’m happy to listen to feedback of all kinds.

I still want to publish sexy novels. I still want to tell sexy stories and, hopefully, make a living from it. Things are a bit in flux now, but I’m going to keep at it. I have plenty of sexy ideas to share and I look forward to doing so.

In the meantime, I want to thank everyone who has helped this site grow so much in recent months. From the bottom of my heart, I really appreciate it. I hope to keep this site growing as much as possible. If that means stepping up my efforts in telling even sexier stories, then so be it.

 

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“The Limo Ride” A Sexy Short Story

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The following is a sexy short story that I wrote that involves Las Vegas, limosuines, and a high-end escorts. It wouldn’t be the first story of nature that I wrote, but this one is a bit shorter and sweeter. Enjoy!

“Over here, Mr. Riverston!”

Joe Riley Riverston, a guy most people couldn’t pick out of a crowd if their life depended on it, heard that voice and was taken aback. He’d just arrived on an early-morning flight to Las Vegas, working on potent combination of minimum sleep and excess adrenaline. He’d planned to pick up his bags and call a cab to the convention center. Then, a tall limousine driver in a neatly-pressed suit called his name out.

“Uh…are you talking to me?” Joe asked, not sure of how many Riverstons there were in Las Vegas.

“Joseph Riley Riverston,” the man said in an overly formal tone, “current department head of product development at Silver Heights Software Corporation’s central campus in Denver, Colorado. Also recently promoted to VP of product launch and marking, if I recall.”

“Okay, that level of detail is only somewhat disturbing,” he said sheepishly.

“May I take your response as confirmation that you are, indeed, the Joseph Riley Riverston I just described?” he asked.

“Yeah, that’s me. I just don’t remember requesting a limo or telling anyone about my recent promotion.”

“That’s because your business associate and brother-in-law, Richard Oak, solicited my services. He also requested that I relay the following message…this is me helping you, Joe. Shut up and go with it.”

Joe, still stressed out and sleep-deprived, shook his head and sighed. That sounded exactly like something Rich would say to him. Hiring a limo without telling him and giving the driver way too many details also sounded completely in character. His brother-in-law was good at a lot of things, especially as head of the marketing department of Silver Heights. Being subtle, though, was not one of them.

The driver, who came off as so polite and professional, just smiled as he held up the sign with his name on it. Joe would’ve loved to castigate his brother-in-law for butting into his professional life again, but it was too early in the morning to get upset. He was also working against the clock.

“All right, then,” Joe said. “I guess you’re my ride to the convention center.”

“And intend to make it a pleasant one, sir,” the polite driver said as he took Joe’s heavy bags. “Mr. Oak was quite insistent that your trip be extra comfortable.”

“I’m sure he was. By chance, did he also tell you how much I hate him butting into my life? Especially my job?”

“That matter did not come up, sir. I’m simply providing the service he paid me to provide.”

Joe rolled his eyes. The driver was too nice a guy to understand why he wouldn’t be as excited about a limo ride in Las Vegas as most. He also doubted that Rich told him that this trip was supposed to be someone else’s job.

It happened so quickly and Joe was still struggling to process everything. Less than a week ago, Silver Heights’ former VP of product launch and marketing was scheduled to fly to Vegas and announce the launch of their latest product. Then, in a sudden shift that caught everyone off guard, she resigned. She didn’t even give a two-week notice.

She didn’t give a reason, but according to rumors, one of Silver Heights’ competitors poached her from their ranks. Rich even told him that they paid her an extra fat bonus to quit in a way that would really throw them off. The amount of profanity that echoed from the executive suites left his ears ringing for days on end.

Joe didn’t think he’d end up getting that job, but since he led the team that developed it, he basically got shoved into the role. That didn’t exactly inspire confidence throughout the company. It certainly didn’t help that Rich was his brother-in-law, having married his older sister several years ago. It didn’t just send a message of blind nepotism. It implied that he wasn’t qualified for the job.

He understood that sentiment and didn’t necessarily disagree with it, at least in full. He still took the job, believing he could pull it off in the long run. He just didn’t expect the stakes to be so high so soon, having to fly to Las Vegas and launch a product that was critical to the company’s success.

“You always loved jumping into a challenge, Rich,” Joe said under his breath, “and you just love having me jump with you. That may work for skiing, but what makes you think it’ll work here?”

Joe kept asking himself that question as he followed the driver out the main doors of the airport and towards the limousine parked along the curb. It was one of many that had lined the road in the early morning hours of Las Vegas. He’d been to Vegas before. It was a 24/7 city where everything had to run at full capacity all the time. It was not exactly consistent with his meticulous, organized style.

“I checked the traffic and the schedule for you, sir,” said the driver as he loaded Joe’s luggage into the trunk. “The early morning rush-hour has already set in and there’s significant activity downtown, due to the ongoing Desert Drive Festival. I estimate it’ll take approximately 50 to 55 minutes to reach the convention center.”

“Too short for a quick nap,” Joe said, “but not nearly long enough for me to get mentally prepared. Figures.”

“I was also informed of the limited timeframe with which you are working, Mr. Riverston,” said the driver, “which is why Rich also paid for some additional luxury that he hopes will prepare you.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask, but what kind of luxury are we talking about here?”

“I apologize, but it is not my place to say. Please enter the vehicle and you shall see for yourself.”

That came off as somewhat ominous, but Joe was in too much of a hurry to make much of it. He assumed that whatever Rich planned for him would give him more reasons to bust his balls when he got back to Denver.

Trying to focus on the task before him, Joe followed the driver to the passenger’s door of the limousine. Still professional in his demeanor and poise, he opened the door. Joe, not giving it much thought, entered in hopes of stretching his tense limbs. That was when he encountered his second major surprise of the morning.

“Good morning, Mr. Riverston,” said a very feminine, distinctly seductive voice. “Your associate, Richard Oak, sends his regards and his appreciation.”

“Whoa,” he said distantly. “Rich, you crazy son-of-a-bitch.”

For a good several seconds – which might have been the most awkward several seconds of his life, thus far – Joe sat in the plush leather seat with his mouth hanging open. Sitting across from him, wearing the kind of attire that seemed out of place for the early morning hours, was a beautiful woman who looked like she’d come from one of Las Vegas’ fanciest strip clubs.

She was like a monument to the city, having bleach blond hair, flawless skin complemented by fancy makeup, a perfectly curvy frame, and breasts that were about as natural as his watch. She also wore a tight-fitting red dress, the kind that looked like it cost a small mortgage payment and rode halfway up her thighs. Everything about her exuded beauty, elegance, and sex appeal. Now, she was his company during his ride to the convention center.

“My name is Cindy,” she greeted, sounding almost as formal as the driver. “I’ll be keeping you company between now and your arrival at the convention center.”

“That’s…very kind of you, ma’am,” said Joe, trying his best not to sound foolish.

“It’s not just kindness, I assure you. I’ve been tasked with preparing you for your speech at the launch ceremony, which – if Mr. Oak’s message is accurate – will commence in less than two hours.”

“He’s right, for once,” he said with an awkward grin, “but just how are you going to prepare me?”

“Settle in, get comfortable, and I’ll show you.”

There was no ambiguity in her tone. It was so overtly sensual that Joe felt the air in the spacious limousine get warmer in an instant. Still in a state of shock, he turned towards back towards the driver, but he’d already shut the door and made his way to the driver’s seat. As soon as he entered and strapped himself in, he pushed a button to raise the window that separated the front seat from the back area.

“I’ll give you and Ms. Cincy some privacy, sir,” the driver said.

“Much appreciated,” Cindy replied. “We’ll be needing it.”

Joe felt his heart jump and his face blush at those words. The implications, along with the way she said them, had so many connotations. At the very least, though, he wasn’t that tired anymore.

As he sat in his seat, trying to process the situation, Cindy got up for a moment and retrieved some drinks. She even leaned over in a way that gave him a perfect view of her ample cleavage, something Joe doubted was an accident. He continued staring, taking in her voluptuous curves as she poured a cocktail in the complementary drink dispenser. The view of her heart-shaped butt was enough to wake any straight man, regardless of the early morning hour.

“I know you must be tense,” Cindy said. “I certainly would if I were in your position.”

“I can only partially believe that,” Joe said under his breath.

“You fly in at the crack of dawn, tasked with doing a job that you didn’t think you’d have to do, and are still expected to do it well.”

“Just out of curiosity, just how much did Rich tell you about my predicament?”

“Enough for me to understand why you’re so tense and why you need specialized care.”

She was so overt with her tone, as though she wasn’t even trying to hide it. For a moment, Joe cursed his brother-in-law again for doing something so outrageous. At the same time, though, he wanted to thank him with all his heart.

Rich knew as well as the rest of his family that he was single. He’d actually been engaged at one point a few years back, but his former fiancé broke it off after too many disputes about their work habits. She thought he worked too much and he thought she didn’t work hard enough. It was a dispute they never resolved, but as time went on, Joe suspected she might have been right to some extent.

After completing the cocktails, Cindy handed him one and sat down next to him. She sat extra close too, so much so that he could smell her perfume, which exuded every kind of sexiness imaginable. Joe almost dropped the cocktail, his hands trembling as he felt her body so close to his.

“Relax, Mr. Riverston,” she said to him. “It’s a light martini, I promise. It’s not going to get you hammered before your big moment.”

“That’s not what worries me,” Joe said.

“Well, I’m here to limit those worries so take a deep breath. Relax. This may very well be the most enjoyable commute you’ve ever had.”

She made it sound so tantalizing. Joe ended up sipping his drink, gulping it down quicker than usual. Even if it wouldn’t get him drunk, he needed something to settle his nerves.

Cindy remained much more relaxed, casually leaning on him as the limousine started moving. It was slow going, just getting out of the airport. They were heading right into the morning rush-hour. Usually, that was the most frustrating part of Joe’s morning. Today, though, felt different.

“A lot of powerful, confident men come through this town,” Cindy said after finishing half of her drink. “I’ve met plenty of them. Seen quite a few of them naked too. In my line of work, you tend to pick up on things along the way…things like whose power is weak and whose confidence is false.”

“Sounds like an interesting kind of work,” Joe commented with an awkward grin.

“It is, for the most part,” she said, “although, it gets downright inane when that false power and phony confidence falter. It tends to separate the men who are genuine from those who are frauds.”

“Oh? Just out of curiosity, what kind of man am I?”

The beautiful woman laughed and smiled, her expression lighting up the limo like the Las Vegas strip. Setting aside her drink, she proceeded to climb onto his lap, snaking her arms around his neck and draping her shapely lags over his thighs. The way they rubbed against him got his blood flowing in directions that he wasn’t used to at this early morning hour.

“Even without knowing your story or why you’re here in Sin City, I’ve got a knack for seeing men for who they really are,” she told him, “and you, Joe Riverston…you’re no fraud.”

“That’s…a relief,” he said, swallowing nervously.

“And it makes my job that much easier,” she said. “I’ve found that when it comes to providing therapeutic company to men, the genuine ones are much easier to work with than the frauds…easier and rewarding.”

Cindy whispered that into his ear as though it were the greatest turn-on in the world. There was no way a woman so beautiful could be that aroused by a man who’d been shoved into a position of power at his job. Even if she were some sort of escort or showgirl, that couldn’t possibly appeal to her. Could it?

Joe wasn’t sure what to think anymore. He ended up gulping down the rest of his drink before locking his eyes on Cindy, not even noticing whether the limo was moving.

“Genuine men don’t always have confidence, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t capable,” she went on. “Some lack the opportunity. Some lack the grit. Some just lack the drive.”

“Well, I’ve got the opportunity part down,” Joe said. “To be honest, it kind of found me and I almost didn’t accept it.”

“And yet, you did,” she pointed out. “You’re here in Las Vegas, you’ve got a chance to do something special with your career, and you wouldn’t have gotten that opportunity if you hadn’t worked for it.”

“Which is ironic,” he said, “because a lot of people say I work too hard.”

“And that’s perfectly respectable, so long as you find a way to balance it out. That’s why places like Las Vegas exist and why women like me have a job.”

That sounded so logical and insightful, something Joe hadn’t expected from an escort/prostitute, if that was what she truly was. The way she rubbed her thigh against his groin, though, causing more blood to flow to his lower body, made him reconsider his expectations.

Whatever her job, she took it very seriously. With a determined glint in her eye, she shifted her body so that she straddled his lap, both knees resting at his side while she held onto his shoulders. Those big, surgically-enhanced breasts of hers were in his face again. It helped him forget his anxiety about the upcoming conference, but supplemented a different kind of tension that was growing by the second.

“If you’re up for it, I’d like to be the one who gives you that balance,” Cindy said. “You’ve worked so hard for everything you’ve had. You should enjoy the fruits of your labor.”

“I…I want to,” Joe found himself saying, “but is that something I should do mere hours before a big conference?”

“I’d argue that’s the best possible time. It’s only when we balance work and play that we can appreciate both. For a genuine man like you, Joe Riverston, I believe it’ll give you the confidence and strength you desire.”

Being the analytical person he was, Joe questioned that approach. However, he promptly ceased such doubts when Cindy pulled him into a deep kiss. As soon as he tasted those sweet, succulent lips of hers, a wave of relaxation and calmness overcame him. All that stress and restlessness he felt earlier just melted away like ice in the desert.

As he settled into that mood, Cindy lightly grasped his wrists and guided them around her waist. Her womanly curves felt so good to touch, as though doing so shielded him from doubts and distractions. As she wrestled her lips with his, she felt him unbuttoning his blue dress shirt. Since he’d been feeling hot anyways – and not just due to the desert heat, for that matter – he didn’t mind in the slightest.

“There’s a strong, confident man in you, Joe,” Cindy said upon placing her hands on his chest. “I can feel it.”

“Yeah…feel it,” he said in his deepening daze.

After removing his shirt completely, Cindy affectionately kissed down his face and neck, slipping off his lap in the process and dropping to her knees. Inch by inch, she tasted his flesh. It felt good, like the touch of an angel healing his distressed state. Eventually, her lips passed by his abdomen and reached the hem of his pants. In short order, showing the skill of a true professional, she undid them with ease and pulled them down to his ankles, boxers and all.

As soon as his dick popped out, it was already semi-hard. Between the stunning presence of this woman and her talented touch, he’d already gotten more aroused than he’d ever been before nine in the morning. She didn’t waste time making use of it either, grasping the base of his member with both hands and sensually trailing her tongue over the tip.

“Oh Cindy,” Joe said, now leaning back further on the plush leather seat.

“You see? Your confidence is already growing!” she teased. “Here, let me help it grow a little more.”

Joe offered no resistance. What she was doing was clearly working, so to speak. He already felt more confident, as most straight men would in the presence of a beautiful woman.

He felt even more when she took the full length of his growing member into her mouth, those sweet red lips of hers making contact with his manly flesh. He let out a deep moan of contentment, a feeling he thought impossible after he boarded his plane several hours ago. Closing his eyes and resting his head on the back of the seat, he took in the breadth of the feeling as this beautiful woman gave him oral sex.

“Oh my God!” he moaned. “Cindy…that feels so good.”

“Mmm…feeling more confident, Mr. Riverston?” she purred while stroking his cock.

“Hell yeah!” Joe said without hesitation.

With focused intent, like a professional showing off their skill to rank amateurs, Cindy sucked his dick. Up and down, her lips slid along his length while her tongue slithered around his hardened flesh. That hot, warm feeling that followed send shivers of pleasure coursing through his body, the kind that did much more than relief anxiety.

It also had the effect of getting him fully erect with an efficacy that made Joe rethink his understanding of general male biology. Even his ex-fiancé hadn’t been that effective, even at their most passionate. Then again, she hadn’t been a professional like Cindy.

Flushed with contentment and bliss, Joe opened his eyes and admired the beautiful woman’s work. He softly ran his fingers through her platinum blond hair, enjoying the silky smooth feel. He also noticed pulling down the top part of her dress, exposing those large breasts of hers. After giving his manhood a few thorough licks, she mashed his cock between them, creating that extra tight feeling that sent him to a new level of desire.

“What do you say, Mr. Riverston? Feeling more ready for your presentation?” Cindy asked with a lurid undertone.

“I’m definitely feeling more energized. That’s for sure,” Joe replied with a goofy grin.

“Then, there’s still room for improvement. Lucky for you, I have other skills to help with that.”

Joe didn’t dare speculate on the nature of those skills. He didn’t have to because Cindy showed him.

Like skilled performer putting on a show, she pulled back briefly – while the limousine was still in motion, no less – and turned around. As Joe admired that ample buttocks of hers, she reached behind and zipped her dress. Then, with the grace of an angel and the sex appeal nothing short of divine, she slid it off. In doing so, she rendered herself completely naked.

“My God…Cindy,” Joe gasped.

“Oops! I forgot to wear panties this morning,” she said playfully. “Oh well, it happens.”

Joe would’ve laughed hysterically if he hadn’t been so in awe of the sight before him. Cindy, a woman with a voluptuous body right out of a dirty magazine, was completely naked. She even bent over, as if to give him a better view of her butt. She then turned around, giving him an eyeful of her big breasts and cleanly-shaven pussy. She gazed at him like a woman on a mission, one that involved her being naked and him having a raging boner.

“I’m going to ride your cock now,” Cindy told him. “Then, when you get ready to come, I want you to shoot it on my tits. Understand?”

“I understand,” Joe instinctively said, too dazed to give it a second thought.

“Good! If that doesn’t give you sufficient confidence, then nothing will.”

He had no idea what kind of logic she was using. He was beyond caring, though. He was going to have sex with this woman. That was the only thing on his mind now.

Remaining in his seat, he watched as Cindy crawled back over to him like the perfect embodiment of female sex appeal. Upon reaching him, she reached for something under the seat. It was a condom. She and the driver must have prepared ahead of time. Being a meticulous, organized person by nature, he could respect that.

In short order, she opened the package and put it on over his throbbing cock. Then, she rose up, crawled onto his lap again so that she straddled his waist, and aligned the wet opening of her pussy with the tip of his dick. Joe, lost in her seductive gaze, could only grab onto those toned hips of hers and hold on. With burning anticipation, he braced himself as she lowered her hips, guiding his dick up into her pussy.

“Ooh Cindy!” Joe gasped. “It’s so hot and tight!”

“And you’re so hard and strong,” the beautiful woman purred, now cupping his face with her hands. “Hard, strong, and powerful…and don’t you forget it!”

A part of Joe sensed what she was doing, using sex to make him feel stronger and more powerful than he would have otherwise. Rich must have thought it would help him take on a job he didn’t think he could do. At that moment, though, he didn’t care for the reason. Joe just embraced the power and strength that came with fucking this beautiful woman.

Like a skilled dancer carrying out a routine, Cindy skillfully worked her hips, riding his cock with a focused intensity. There was nothing crude or callous about it. She wasn’t just some whore riding a dick, trying to get a client off. She put actual work into it, another trait that a hard-working man like him could admire. Hard work had always paid off for him, but it had never paid off like this.

“Strong…powerful…so good! Strong…powerful…so good!” Cindy repeated, chanting it like a mantra.

“Oh Cindy!” was all Joe could get out.

Even as the limousine stopped and started, navigating the rush-hour traffic, neither he nor Cindy lost focus. They kept their sex going, establishing a steady, but thorough rhythm. There was no hurry, but there was still a sense of urgency, as though they both sought to maximize their work to get the best possible results. For the work he had ahead of him, Joe couldn’t think of anything more fitting.

As Cindy put in the effort, Joe sought to do his part as well. He showed off his own strength, slipping his hands to her butt and using his arms to guide her gyrations. She really seemed to enjoy that, grinning and purring at his displays of strength. He also elevated his hips slightly, allowing her to ride him at an angle. It helped her really work her pussy along the full length of his cock, ensuring a perfect melding of his flesh with hers.

At one point, he kissed her and she eagerly kissed back. Showing a sense of power and initiative seemed to encourage her, another lesson of sorts in strength and confidence. Together, the mutual motions of their naked bodies fully complemented one another, making for an extra hot, extra empowering feeling.

It was so powerful that Joe didn’t want it to end too quickly. He exercised more restraint than most men would during sex with such a beautiful woman, holding back his release in an attempt to maximize the pleasure. Cindy rewarded that approach with more intense motions, planting both feet on the seat and really working her hips hard, the wet smacking sounds of their flesh echoing throughout the care.

Eventually, though, Joe’s capacity for restraint reached its limit. His body craved its release. Seeing Cindy’s big tits bounce in accord with each motion made him want desperately to spray his cum onto them. He was almost ready and so was Cindy.

“Cindy, I…I’m close! I’m getting…really close,” he grunted.

“Mmm…yeah, I can feel it,” she purred. “My pussy loves strong, powerful cocks. I’m so hot right now. I’m ready to feel your cum on my tits!”

With reflexes and cunning that would’ve put any professional to shame, Cindy rose up off his cock and dropped to her knees again. Then, in a swift motion, she removed the condom and guided his throbbing cock between her tits. The feeling of those fleshy mounds around his member sent him past that special threshold from which there was no return.

“Oohhh I’m coming!” Joe exclaimed.

“Yes! Give it to me!” Cindy urged.

At that fateful moment, a surge of white-hot ecstasy erupted from his core. Joe, now clinging to her shoulders, let out a deep moan as he achieved his release. His cock throbbed hard in between her breasts before shooting out a thick stream of fluid that splattered onto her tits and face. It was an even bigger load than he’d expected, possibly the biggest he’d released in his adult life. It might have also been the most satisfying.

Even as Joe immersed himself in the ecstasy, Cindy kept putting in the work, pressing her breasts together and sliding his cock between them to extract every drop. She didn’t seem to mind how much of it ended up on her face. She even licked some of it up, as though it were her favorite treat.

She left no part of the job unfinished when it came to bringing him to ecstasy. It felt like a mix of sex appeal and professional courtesy. It proved quite potent. Even after the orgasmic sensations subsided, Joe felt immensely satisfied.

“Wow!” Joe said breathlessly. “Cindy, I feel…”

“Happy? Content? Confident? Strong?” she offered as she extracted the last drop of cum from his dick.

“All of the above,” he said with a grin.

“Then, it’s official. You’re ready for the conference!”

His grin grew wider as the realization sank in. Looking out the window briefly, seeing the big buildings and opulent resorts of the Las Vegas strip pass by, he felt so ready to face what lay before him. Whether it was the afterglow of having sex with a beautiful woman or some deeper lesson that Cindy taught him, he was ready for a new set of challenges.

Confident in his newfound strength, he turned his attention back to Cindy, who had sense separated from his cock and began wiping the cum off her breasts with a nearby napkin. She was still naked and she still looked so damn good in the early morning hours of a busy day. As he admired her, Joe decided that the time had come to mix things up with his overly-organized approach to work. It had worked so well thus far. He might as well see how far he could take it.

“From the looks of it, we’ve still got time before we arrive at the convention center,” Joe commented.

“Yeah, I’d say we got a good fifteen minutes or so,” Cindy said with a content sigh. “That’s plenty of time to get dressed and have another drink, if you want.”

“Actually, I’m wondering if that’s enough time for me to eat your pussy out until you come as well. You did say I’m a genuine man. Well, let me prove it to you.”

Now, it was Cindy’s turn to smile and laugh in amazement. He doubted she expected such courtesy. She said it herself. She dealt with plenty of men who were phony and frauds. Joe refused to be one of them.

“So confident and driven,” Cindy said. “I love it! I can’t say it’ll help you with your presentation. But if you’re that determined to be that good a man, then I sure won’t stop you.”

“Good!” Joe said confidently. “Because if I’m going to get the job done while he was in Las Vegas, I might as well start with satisfying a beautiful woman!”

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The following is a review I wrote for PopMatters for Ms. Marvel #31. Enjoy!

Milestones, Achievements, and Slumber Parties: Ms. Marvel #31

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June 28, 2018 · 5:40 pm

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Margarita Edition

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I was never too big a fan of margaritas. With all due respect to Jimmy Buffet and those who live by his music, I just never saw much appeal. If I’m in the need for something tasty and alcoholic, I just grab a cold beer or a glass of whiskey with some ice. That said, whenever a heat wave hits my area, I appreciate margaritas a lot more.

It’s mid-June now. This is the time of year when heat waves hit every other week, it seems. It’s going to get hot. It’s going to get muggy. Even if you don’t enjoy spending time outdoors and have top notch air conditioning, that heat will find you. You’re going to seek out a nice, refreshing drink at some point. You’re also going to feel the urge to get hammered as well.

A good margarita does both. That’s why it’s the perfect drink for a tropical vacation. It works just as well when you’re at home trying to stay cool and not overwork your air conditioning. Every now and then, I’ll adjust my thermostat so I can lounge around naked and still enjoy a good beverage that will help relax me. It’s part of why I love summer.

In the spirit of the summer heat and the drinks that help us cool off, I’m dedicating this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to all things cold, frosty, and alcoholic. There are a lot of great ways to endure the heat in the summer, but only a handful will get you drunk. Enjoy!


“Women love the strong, silent types because it means more silence after great sex and more strength for carrying bags.”


“For men and gay women, alike, breasts are the original stress balls.”


“Even the most well-endowed man in the world will never measure up against someone with penis-shaped fingers.”


“Masturbating before a date is like taking a bath before going to the pool.”


“A blind date is like strip poker with people who dress in layers.”


“The fact that women’s perfume costs more than men’s deodorant says a lot about how we prioritize our scents.”


“A man dating multiple women takes a lot energy, but a woman dating multiple men simply requires endurance.”


I hope that helps make everybody’s cold, refreshing, alcohol-laden drinks taste that much better. This is the time of year when we don’t need as many excuses to enjoy something frosty and intoxicating. When the sun is blazing, the air is humid, and the days are long, enjoying a beverage that both cools you down and gets you drunk is just an efficient way to enjoy summer.

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The following is a review I wrote for PopMatters for X-men Gold #30. Enjoy!

Misguided Matrimonial Bait-and-Switch: X-men Gold #30

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June 21, 2018 · 5:43 pm

Masculinity, Mourning, And My Recent Loss

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How is a man supposed to mourn when he’s lost someone he really cares about? That’s not a rhetorical question. I’m asking because it’s a question I wish I could answer. It’s also a question that I’ve been struggling with over the past week or so.

Recently, I got the sad news from my father that my grandmother had passed away. I’ve been debating on whether or not I should talk about it on this site. I know people don’t come here to hear about my personal crap. They would much rather talk about upcoming superhero movies, sex robots, and double standards.

However, I’ve since concluded that this is something I need to share, if only to help me cope. Without getting too much into the personal details, this loss really hurt. I was very close to my grandmother. She was a big part of my life for as long as I can remember and just referring to her in the past tense is a strange and distressing feeling, but one I knew I would have to face eventually.

I even knew it was coming sooner rather than later. My grandmother’s death did not catch anyone by surprise. She was in her late 90s and had been dealing with a lot of health problems over the past four years. The past several months have been especially bad, but I still visited her regularly, hoping to boost her spirits.

Now, the idea that I can’t visit her ever again is really hard to process. My grandmother was one of those special individuals whose presence just made everything inherently better. Even with her declining health, she never lost that amazing spirit. She lit up the room and she enriched my life in ways I can never put into words.

Mourning her has proven to be one of the biggest challenges of my adult life. I understand that this is the natural order of things. I know that loved ones eventually die, especially those who lived long, fruitful lives like my grandmother. That doesn’t make it any less painful.

In dealing with it, though, I find myself contemplating things about mourning that I didn’t expect. Some of it involves my own personal issues. Others involve a bigger issue that I feel is worth exploring, even as my current emotional state is so raw.

There are a lot of things I didn’t learn from school, parents, siblings, or peers that I wish I had while growing up. Chief among those things is coping with loss. It’s not that nobody tried to teach me those skills. It’s not like there was a course in it, either. I just never made much effort to learn them. In fact, I feel as though I avoided them outright.

Some of that might just be a result of me being more reserved. Most people who know me can attest that I tend to swallow certain feelings more than others, especially when those feelings come from real emotional anguish. I’ll sob, I’ll shed tears, and I’ll let my voice crack under the strain. I’ll try not to let it go beyond that, though.

It’s not something my family and friends pressure me to do. However, there are times I feel as though that’s what a man is supposed to do. While I don’t like attributing things to gender stereotypes, especially when double standards are involved, this is one instance where I fall right into a specific masculine archetype.

I freely admit that I don’t always express my emotions very well. I’m more inclined to hide them and hold them in. I even try to avoid them, hoping they just go away with time. That may work for some minor emotional upheavals. It doesn’t work quite as well when you’re dealing with a heavy personal loss.

That limited ability to express emotions very well has been really glaring since I got the news. I remember not reacting too strongly, but wishing I could. I remember being at a total loss, but wishing I weren’t. There were so many things I wanted to express and articulate, but couldn’t. I can honestly say that I’ve never been at such a loss before.

At that moment, being a man felt like being shackled to something. It was like trying to cross a river with heavy weights on my ankles. Even when sitting alone in my room with no one to judge me for how much emotion I showed, I still found myself at a loss. I knew I was feeling something hard, but I just didn’t know how to express it.

I’m not saying that inability is entirely attributed to me being a man. I can’t speak for all men, but I can attest on a personal level that I do feel pressure to put on a tough face when confronted with painful emotions. To do otherwise just seems contrary to what it means to be a man and maintain a masculine demeanor.

I know that sounds like I’m blaming my gender for my shortcomings, and maybe I am to some degree, but I find myself wishing that the processing of painful emotions didn’t carry these gender-based standards. Yes, there are some men who are every bit as emotionally expressive as most women, but those kinds of tendencies aren’t encouraged or celebrated. In some cases, they’re scorned.

I don’t blame women or women for that stigma. I get the sense we’re all responsible for propagating those standards, albeit indirectly. The idea that showing certain emotions isn’t manly while not showing enough isn’t womanly feels like an unnecessary burden that we place on ourselves, one I just learned is heavier than most.

While I don’t feel like men are mocked as much for showing their emotions as they were in the past, I still find myself struggling. It’s as though I had the opportunity learn how to deal with these painful feelings when I was growing up, but was pressured to not take advantage of them because doing so would reveal a personal weakness.

As misguided as that sentiment might have been, I’m still responsible for making those choices. I don’t deny that when it comes to knowing how to deal with losses on this level, I’m behind the curve. I’m very lucky that I have so many wonderful family, friends, and relatives who have been there for me every step of the way during this process. I don’t think I could’ve handled this as well as I have without them.

I just wish being a man didn’t make it inherently more difficult. Again, this is just my own experience and I can’t speak for all men. Maybe mine is an anomaly and my limited coping skills have more to do with my own personal issues than my gender. Whatever the case, this loss has revealed a lot about being a man and dealing with emotions.

I’m really going to miss my grandmother. I loved her a great deal and the idea of living life without her in it is still hard to wrap my head around. I intend to push forward, though. I know that’s what she would want. That’s what all our loved ones ultimately want once they’re gone.

Even if they can’t be in our lives anymore, we can still move forward with the strength their love gave us. To all those out there who have suffered a loss, I encourage you to take comfort in that strength. To my grandmother, who I’ll miss dearly, I thank you for showing me just how much strength there is in love.

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Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Father’s Day 2018 Edition

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Some things are worth belaboring and I’m not just talking about the beauty of female breasts or the deliciousness of freshly cooked bacon. I tend to overstate many things on this site, but there’s one item that I’m proud to proclaim, no matter how much it annoys some people. That thing is my parents and how awesome they are.

It being Father’s Day, I have a perfect excuse to do it again and it’s worth doing too. That’s because, much like my mother, my dad is the absolute best. He’s a big reason why I’m the man I am today. He was, and still is, my first true superhero. He’s done so much to love, teach, and guide me throughout my life. Just thanking him on one day of the year isn’t enough.

I know he reads this site regularly. I also know he goes out of his way to love and support me more than any guy could ask for. No matter how old I get or how many challenges I face in life, my dad is there for me and he does so much to make my life better on every level. For that, I’ll be forever grateful.

For that very reason, and so many others that I don’t have time to list, I dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to my wonderful father and all the other wonderful fathers out there. You helped make me the man I’m proud to be, dad. You deserve all the love and sex appeal in the world today.


“A man with a big penis will still face significant competition from anything that vibrates.”


“Bondage enthusiasts with pets have to be extra mindful of the mixed messages they send.”


“When you think about it, the purest form of world peace is everybody having a simultaneous orgasm.”


“A skilled chef gives you good food and a skilled prostitute gives you a good orgasm, but only one is legally questionable.”


“To some extent, a woman having twins is nature’s equivalent of backing up your hard drive.”


“Logistically speaking, a successful three-way teaches teamwork better than any sport.”


“Sex without foreplay is like fries without ketchup in that it’s still filling, but not as much as it could be.”


I hope that made Father’s Day a little extra special. For my dad and all the other dads out there, I thank you for imparting your love and guidance. The world is better because of it. On behalf of me, my dad, and all things fatherly, I wish everyone a safe and happy Father’s Day.

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The following is a review I wrote for PopMatters for Deadpool Assassin #1. Enjoy!

The Maturation of (Regenerating) Degenerates In Deadpool Assassin #1

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June 16, 2018 · 6:53 pm