Tag Archives: Jack Fisher Books

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Memorial Day 2020 Edition

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Global pandemics have a way of tempering any celebration for any occasion. That’s understandable. This year has limited our collective ability to celebrate anything, be it Mother’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, or even a simple Saturday. However, for certain occasions, we should still make the effort. We may not be able to celebrate, but we can still acknowledge the importance of day.

Memorial Day definitely qualifies, in that respect. There may not be a lot of parades, cookouts, or pool parties going on this year, but those are only secondary. In terms of worthy things to celebrate, our nation’s veterans deserve to be at the top of that list. They’re the ones who willingly go on the front lines, put themselves at risk, and protect those who cannot protect themselves.

In a world where we need our heroes now more than ever, this Memorial Day is more important than most. The world is in crisis and that crisis is affecting them in uniquely difficult ways. There are opportunities to acknowledge the sacrifice and contributions they’ve made. Some are more elaborate than others, but you can get involved.

If you cannot participate in a parade or volunteer, consider donating to a veteran’s charity. If you have veterans in your family, give them a call. Give some of your time and your love for them. They’ve earned the respect and admiration of their country. They’ve also earned this Memorial Day edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!


“Being a perfectionist means having even fewer excuses to skip foreplay.”


“Practically speaking, a narcissist and a stalker should be the perfect couple.”


“Men will look at ugly breasts longer than women will look at beautiful penises.”


“How much can you really trust a sexually repressed person with a cucumber?”


“Asking why women sleep with rock stars is like asking why people deep fry twinkies.”


“Trying to fix a doomed relationship is like trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.”


“A serial monogamist is just a slut that can’t multitask.”


To all the veterans out there, from those who retired from service to those serving in the field, I salute you. Thank you for your service and your sacrifice, especially during times like this. We appreciate all that you do. You are the real heroes in a world that desperately needs them.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Premium Coffee Edition

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First, I want to say on record that I am not a coffee snob. I’m not one of those people who stands in line at a coffee shop and spends a full five minutes giving a barista intricate details on how to brew my order. Those people are right up there with the assholes who text, drive, and give you the finger for honking your horn.

That said, I love coffee as more than a morning pick-me-up. I can also tell the difference between the dirt-cheap brew you get at a gas station and the kind you pay double for at a specialty shop. I’ll still drink the cheap stuff if I just need to perk myself up in the morning, but that premium blend is something I value.

The difference between cheap coffee and premium coffee is similar to the difference between a quickie in a broom closet and an entire afternoon of passionate lovemaking. Both feel great. Both are inherently desirable. There’s a time and a place for both. One is just inherently more satisfying than the other.

That’s how I feel about good, premium coffee. I’d estimate that around 75 percent of my best writing occurs while I have a cup of premium coffee in reach. It’s not just a necessary stimulant for the modern world. It’s nourishment for the mind, body, and soul. A good cup of coffee helped inspire these Sexy Sunday Thoughts. I hope they, along with your next brew, can inspire something just as awesome. Enjoy!


“If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then porn is basically a haiku.”


“Being single and ready to mingle is like being a bounty hunter for orgasms.”


“If someone is stupid, but still gets laid, can they really be stupid?”


“Every successful prostitute starts as an opportunistic slut.”


“Is a best friend you don’t have sex with really your best friend?”


“Patience is both a virtue and a critical component of effective foreplay.”


“Technically, having sex with a germophobe is a form of safe sex.”


Not everyone needs fancy, premium coffee every morning to get themselves going. Like impassioned lovemaking, it’s something that you want to save for the right moments. That way, you can literally taste the joy that it brings. It’s both refreshing and uniquely sexy. What more could you want in a well-caffeinated drink?

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Mother’s Day 2020 Edition

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I know I say this every year and I’ve every intention of saying it for as long as I can.

My mom is the absolute best!

I’ll say it as many times as I have to and for whatever reason comes to mind. Mother’s Day just gives me more reasons than most. It’s yet another opportunity to appreciate the wonderful woman I’m lucky enough to call mom and I make it a point to take advantage of those. She deserves all the love a mother can get and then some. Today is just a large part of that effort.

I know how lucky I am to have an awesome mom. There are many other moms out there who deserve plenty of praise. They birth us, they love us, and they raise us. Their love is the foundation for which we understand and appreciate love. From the day we’re born to the day we die, the love of a mother is part of who we are.

It would be easy to call Mother’s Day just another Hallmark Holiday. It doesn’t matter if it is. Moms are still worth celebrating and cherishing. Whether it’s as simple as a card or an elaborate brunch, complete with male strippers, today is a day in which we show our appreciation. I certainly plan on doing my part for my mother. Hopefully, these Sexy Sunday Thoughts will inspire you to do yours. Enjoy!


“If necessity is the mother of all invention, then horniness is the negligent father of kink.”


“There’s at least one person turned on by the things you find disgusting.”


“By default, necrophiliacs will always have the fewest sexual harassment complaints.”


“Falling in love requires us to follow our hearts, but selectively listen to our genitals.”


“Talent makes some people a good lover, but practicing foreplay will make anyone a capable lover.”


“An expensive wedding ring is basically an overpriced no trespassing sign for your genitals.”


“Hiding an awkward boner is a skill no man wants to learn the hard way.”


I’ll say it again, just to belabor it.

My mom is the best!

To her and all the wonderful mothers out there, Happy Mother’s Day. Thank you for birthing us, loving us, and nurturing us through this chaotic world. After a year like this, that love has never been more precious. Today, you deserve to be celebrated and pampered. Enjoy it! You’ve earned it.

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Another Awesome Story About My Awesome Mom On Mother’s Day Eve

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. For some people, it’s just one of those Hallmark Holidays that requires that you purchase a card, make a phone call, and watch a few cheesy 1-800-Flowers ad. For those lucky enough to have an awesome mom like mine, it’s more than that.

I’ve said it before on multiple occasions. I’ll keep finding other ways to say it until the entire internet hears it.

My mom is awesome.

That is not in dispute. That’s just an objective fact on par with math and gravity. I knew that when I was still a kid. I know that now as a full-grown adult. With each passing year, I come to appreciate my mother’s awesome more and more. That makes celebrating Mother’s Day extra special.

For a mom like mine, a card just won’t cut it. Even during a pandemic, I’m going to find a way to go the extra mile to show my mom how much I love and appreciate her. As part of that effort, I’d like to share another personal story that further proves my mom’s greatness. If this doesn’t get the point across, then you’re just being difficult.

This particular story is small in scope, but incredibly revealing with respect to the kind of person my mother is. I don’t know if she’ll remember this. I know she reads this site every now and then. I hope she does because for me, it’s one of those powerful memories that has only gotten more meaningful with time.

The setting of this story is simple, but still requires a bit of context. It occurred when I was in my late teens. It was the middle of summer and I was home from college. For me, that didn’t just mean sitting around all day, waiting for the fall semester to begin. I worked during the summers. I was also expected to do chores on the weekends. One of them involved mowing the lawn.

Now, that was one of my least favorite chores and my mom knew that. I still did it, but was rarely thrilled about it. I need to establish that before I lay out what happened. It matters with respect to how this ordeal played out.

It occurred on a Saturday morning. I was downstairs in the basement, watching TV and working on my laptop, as I often did. Then, my mother comes walking down the stairs and she’s not in a good mood. It has nothing to do with what I or any of my siblings did. She’s just miserable, restless, and tense, as people can get for no apparent reason.

While in that mood, she tells me to mow the lawn and she’s not nice about it. She doesn’t ask me to do it. She doesn’t even say, please. She just tells me to do it in a crass, callous way that is not typical of my mother. It shows just how bad a mood she was in that day.

Naturally, I don’t react with much enthusiasm. I groan and roll my eyes, but it’s not just because I hate mowing the lawn. That’s not how anyone wants to be told to do something. My mother senses this, as I’m not subtle about it. Not surprisingly, goes off and tell me not to give her any attitude.

Then, in a response I honestly didn’t think much about, I tell her, in so many words, that she could’ve at least said please. She also could’ve been less rude about it. I even threw in a comment about how she’d taught me to be courteous and polite all my life. I don’t remember exactly what I said because, like I said, I didn’t give much thought to my response. A part of me still dreaded my mother’s response.

What happened next is a further testament to my mother’s character. Almost immediately, her crummy mood changed. She put her hand up, shook her head, and apologized. She acknowledged that she was rude and in the wrong. I instinctively accepted that apology. I still agreed to mow the lawn later that day and I did.

What stands out so much about that moment was how much humility my mother showed in that moment. I’m her son and she’s the parent. Usually, the dynamic is reversed. It’s the parent who’s supposed to call the child out when they’re being rude or impolite. When the roles are flipped, it doesn’t go the same way.

My mother was well within her right, as a parent, to just brush off my comment. She was also within her right to pile onto it and call me an asshole for daring to call her out like that. She could’ve just said, “I can talk to you however I want because I’m your mom. That’s that.” Instead, she chose the more respectable path.

She showed that she practiced the values she preached to me and my siblings. She holds herself to the same standard that she holds me. When she’s wrong or rude, she owns up to it. She takes responsibility and apologizes, just as she would expect of me if I were in that position. It was a small gesture, but I gained a whole new level of respect for my mother that day.

I know more than a few people whose parents take full advantage of their authority. To them, respect is not earned from a child. It’s a given, even when it’s not reciprocated. There are instances when that’s necessary, but this wasn’t one of them. My mother was self-aware enough to recognize that and set a better example. Since then, I’ve done my best to meet those standards.

There are so many other wonderful stories that I could share about my mother. Some are more elaborate than others. This one is small by comparison, but it’s those kinds of stories that help you really appreciate the kind of person someone is. My mother is wonderful in so many ways. This is just one of them. It’s part of what makes Mother’s Day worth celebrating.

To my awesome mom, I love you with all my heart.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Heroic Health Care Workers Edition

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The world a swirling shit storm. There’s just no other way to say it. We’re in the midst a global pandemic. Society as we knew it has shut down. The economy has fallen apart. Life has become a painfully mundane waiting game. There’s a storm raging, but most of us can’t do anything to make it go away faster.

As bad as it is, there are heroes in this world. As I write this, and as you read this, they are working tirelessly to confront this pandemic and care for its victims. They’re the doctors, nurses, scientists, and various health care workers who are on the front lines, literally and figuratively. The superheroes in comics and movies may do amazing things, but what these people are doing in the real world is beyond extraordinary.

There’s not much I can say that hasn’t already been said. These people are more than heroes. Many of them are going into a situation they know puts them at risk. They’re dealing with people who are sick, dying, and vulnerable. Most of us can barely handle being stuck at home, let alone confronting life and death situations every day.

There’s a lot we can do to show our appreciation to the health care workers navigating this crisis. There are places to donate. That always helps. If you happen to know someone in that field, see if there’s something extra you can do. That helps too. For now, the best I can offer is a special brand of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. It’s not much, but it’s how I like to show my appreciation.


“For a dirty mind the line between disgust and intrigue is often blurred.”


“Trust is the invisible lubricant that makes sexy kinks possible.”


“Morning wood was the first true pop-up ad.”


“True love is only as true as a couples’ worst kept secret.”


“Feelings evoked by foreplay are the exact opposite of those evoked by traffic jams.”


“Love doesn’t make you foolish, but it forces you to compromise with many foolish impulses.”


“You’re only as kinky as your gag reflex allows.”


To all the health care workers out there, from the surgeons to the nurses to the receptionist, you are a special kind of sexy. Thank you for everything that you do. Thank you for being there on the front lines to save lives, as only you can. That kind of sexiness knows no equal.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: NFL Draft 2020 Edition

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For football fans, the NFL Draft is the annual celebration of hope for the teams that earned a high draft pick. By that, I mean they were terrible the previous year and are badly in need of some fresh talent. The NFL Draft gives them that opportunity. Sometimes, one pick can be the difference between another losing season and a slew of championship. Just ask the New England Patriots.

This year, however, the NFL Draft is set to have a different impact. Usually, the draft is mostly just a glorified news feed, detailing the picks for various teams. Only major football fans tune in or pay attention. That’s often because this is usually the time baseball, basketball, and hockey are playing relevant games.

These are not usual times, unfortunately. Thanks to a global pandemic, we are in the midst of the greatest dearth of sports in decades.

Despite this crisis, the NFL has made clear they are going forward with the draft. Granted, it won’t be the same massive party that they had last year in Nashville. It’s going to happen primarily in a TV studio with many players streaming their reaction from various locations. It’s not going to have much fanfare, but it’s the first major sporting event we’ve had in over a month.

As a lifelong football fan, I’ve always been fond of the draft. This year, I’m just happy to see anything sports related that isn’t a replay of some old game. The NFL Draft is a celebrated event because it brings hope to millions of fans. Hope is something we need a lot more of right now. These Sexy Sunday Thoughts are my way of supplementing it. Enjoy!


“Porn stars are business savvy in that they’ve monetized their genitals.”


“The difference between being adventures and kinky in the bedroom is in which body parts you’re willing to strain.”


“Sleeping with an asshole is an indirect form of masochism.”


“Building love on a foundation of lies is like having sex on a bed of broken glass.”


“Women should be inherently skeptical of a man who can’t hide his porn stash very well.”


“Someone who works hard and plays hard knows how to make love just hard enough.”


“Loneliness is your genitals reminding you that you’re not getting laid.”


I miss sports. I cannot overstate that enough. As much as I love the NFL Draft, I wish there was more to follow at the moment. Since that’s not likely to change anytime soon, I’ll be sure to watch this years draft with a bit more scrutiny than I have before. It’s not much, but during a crisis, I’ll gladly take it.

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It’s Official: Pandemics Ruin Fridays

These past couple months have taught us a lot about ourselves. Granted, these are things we never wanted to learn, but it’s hard to avoid at this point. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from, what party you belong to, or what your background is. A virulent disease doesn’t give a damn. It infects everyone it can.

This disease has already ruined a lot so far. From sports to movie releases to comic book releases, this pandemic has disrupted everything, large and small. There were some major family events that occurred recently and I couldn’t be part of it because of this damn disease. It breaks my heart and pisses me off, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Well, after nearly two months of isolation, I think I’m ready to declare that this pandemic has ruined something else. For me, at least, this disease has completely ruined Fridays.

I doubt I’m alone in this sentiment. I know plenty of people who will reach out to me on a Friday morning and say “Happy Friday!” in a semi-joking manner. I always appreciate the sentiment. It’s a nice reminder that the weekend is almost here and there’s plenty of fun to be had.

Now, what’s the point of looking forward to the weekend?

Why even get excited on Fridays anymore?

Those aren’t rhetorical questions. I’m not being sarcastic either. Seriously, what makes Fridays special anymore? School has already been canceled for many students. Social gatherings are effectively banned. There are no sports to watch. Movie theaters, bars, and restaurants are all closed. You can’t even throw a party in some states without breaking stay at home orders.

At this point, Fridays are nothing more than just another day that we have to endure in this pandemic-fueled shit storm. There’s nothing to look forward to. There’s no reason to get excited about anything. I usually try to avoid depressing rants, but this has been bugging me for a while. I just wanted to share that sentiment. Like I said, I doubt I’m the only one who feels that way.

With that in mind, let’s all stop saying “Happy Friday!” or “TGIF!” until this shit storm is over. At this point, it’s just a painful reminder of how bad this pandemic has gotten and we have enough of that.

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A Common (And Revealing) Theme Of My Dreams

I’m not of the opinion that dreams are some profound indicator of the deepest, darkest recesses of our unconscious. I don’t buy into the old Freudian idea that what you dream about reflects some profound desire about the workings of your psyche. That’s not to say I think dreams are just random noise inside your brain that sometimes surfaces when you sleep. I just think they’re more mundane than we give them credit for.

I say this as someone who both took college level psychology courses and as someone who can recall certain dreams. I’m hardly an expert, but I’m familiar with the various theories as to why human beings have dreams. I think some are more plausible than others. I certainly have my leanings, but I admit those leanings are influenced by my personal experiences with dreams.

To understand, I’d like to share a common theme in my dreams that I’ve noticed over the years. I tend not to remember most of my dreams, but the ones I do seem to have many similarities that have held true since I was a teenager. If they were TV shows or sitcoms, they would all have the same plot.

I’m always running very late to something important.

I admit this is a somewhat bland theme for a dream, but I understand where it comes from. Any friends, family, or relatives who might be reading this wouldn’t be surprised either. They know, as well as I do, that for most of my early life, I was very uptight about being on time. I’d even go so far as to say I was downright obsessive about it. I’m pretty sure I annoyed more than one person with my constant desire to not be late.

As early as elementary school, I made a big deal about being on time or early to everything, be it school, a movie, or some kind of event. The mere thought that I might be late caused me a great deal of stress, so much so that I experienced panic attacks on some occasions.

Knowing that, it makes perfect sense that my dreams would center around this theme. Just last week, I had a dream that involved me standing in front of my old bedroom window, watching the bus go by, and realizing that I had just overslept big time and was incredibly late.

It’s similar to the one I had last year. Again, it involved me standing in my bedroom, looking at a clock, and realizing I was extremely late for a flight to a big wedding I was set to attend. The dream rarely stopped there. Often, I would attempt to catch up, packing my clothes and getting my things together in hopes of catching up. Most of the time, it didn’t work. In some dreams, I even face a setback that makes me even later.

It’s rarely scary or traumatizing. They don’t feel like nightmares in that I wake up in a cold, terrified sweat. They feel more like echoes of old attitudes that had a profound impact on my early life and some of my adult life.

I’ve gotten a lot better and healthier with respect to punctuality. College was really the time when I took a seriously look at my obsessive need to be on time and find other ways of dealing with it. It didn’t happen all at once. It took several years for me to get less uptight about running late. While I can still be somewhat anal about it, I’m nowhere near as anxious about it.

That doesn’t keep it from showing up in my dreams. Since this tendency was such a big part of my life, especially in my youth, I’m not surprised that it’s such a common theme. I have a feeling it’ll keep being a theme throughout my life. If that’s the extent of my most vivid dreams, then I’m okay with that.

To those who remember their dreams, what are the common themes you tend to notice? Do you think these dreams have greater meaning or are they just mental garbage that your brain clumps together while you sleep? I’d like to know. Please share your dream experiences in the comments.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Running Edition

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I didn’t used to enjoy exercise. At one point, my least favorite activity in school was running and given how miserable I was at school for most of my life, that’s saying something. Then, as I got older and more health conscious, running became an integral part of my life. I’m at a point now where it feels weird when I don’t run in some form.

Whether it’s on a treadmill or on the trails throughout my neighborhood, I love to run. It’s not just good for my health. It gets my heart racing, my brain going, and my juices flowing. Yes, I understand that has some sexual connotations. Did you honestly expect anything less from me?

It’s only natural. Running makes me all hot and sweaty. There are times when I come in from a run and I’m just dripping with sweat. I may not smell great, but I feel downright sexy. After burning all those calories, it’s like I just made love to my muscles. It’s a great feeling and with the weather finally warming up, I can run without a shirt on to show off that sexiness. Again, you expect anything less from me?

I hope that when I meet the love of my life, she’ll go running with me. One day, I hope we can go on a long run together, get back, shed our sexy clothes, and share a nice shower together. I hope I find that woman one day. Until then, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help inspire all those other runners out there. Enjoy!


“The joy your child gives their parents is the echo of the orgasm that made them.”


“Learning about romance through chick flicks is as unhealthy as learning about sex through porn.”


“Trying to be monogamous with a slut is like trying to interrogate a pathological liar.”


“Friends with benefits are the take-home tests of relationships.”


“Imagine how much trust and/or bravery someone must have to allow a cannibal to give them oral sex.”


“Can you honestly believe someone who says they accidentally watched porn?”


“True love is never having to explain why you have so much lube in your dresser drawer.”


The spring and summer are the best seasons for running. The days are long, the heat rolls in, and the sweat feels earned. I try to take full advantage of it and any trail nearby. I encourage everyone else to give it a try. If a guy like me can grow to love running, then anyone can. That, I’m sure of.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Easter 2020 Edition

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Today is Easter Sunday. However, I imagine a lot of people either didn’t know, forgot about it, or just don’t have the energy to care. I completely understand. Even as someone who has a special appreciation of Easter, I know that nobody is in a very celebratory mood right now. When there’s a global pandemic ravaging the world, you just can’t get into the spirit of any holiday.

It’s so bad right now that you can’t even get together for a nice Easter dinner. At best, you can video chat with them while you’re eating leftovers. It’s not the same, but I would argue it’s better than nothing. I would also argue that Easter is still worth celebrating. It may not be the flashiest holiday, but it has its place.

It also helps that Easter has some sexy origins. Before it became entwined with Christian traditions, it was associated with pagan fertility rituals. Like it or not, you can’t have fertility without a little sex appeal. As someone who appreciates both sex appeal and warmer spring weather, I’m all for celebrating that sort of thing.

Perhaps this is one Easter in which those lucky enough to be quarantined with their lovers can tap into that sexy past. You’re already stuck at home. You can’t have a family gathering. Why not use it as a chance to share a little sexy time? Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get you in that sexy Easter spirit. Enjoy!


“Finding pubic hair in your food is disgusting, but the story of how it got there can be fascinating.” 


“Catching your parents having sex is only as embarrassing as the kinks they’re exercising at the time.”


“Puberty is cruel to teenagers in that it makes them feel ugly and horny at the same time.”


“A stripper’s permanence is directly proportional to how it effects an audience’s genitals.”


“For a man, having a large penis is like having a great credit score.”


“Working hard will help you get laid, but working smart will help you find the love of your life.”


“Behind every romantic gesture are some incredibly lurid thoughts.”


This year has already cost us a great many things, from major sports to holidays. It’s already a lost year, due to the pandemic. Chances are this will be the most forgettable Easter we’ll have. However, if you have to chance to use the isolation as a means of sharing some sexy time, then it can still be memorable for a much better reason.

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