Tag Archives: being a parent

Mother’s Day Memories (Featuring The Terminator)

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.

It’s a special day, in and of itself. And it’s a day we should totally recognize. I don’t care what the anti-Hallmark people say. It’s not a bullshit holiday. It’s a great day to recognize and appreciate the wonderful mothers who make us who we are, literally and figuratively.

And when you have an awesome mom like I do, it’s extra special. I’ve gone out of my way to give my mom extra love and praise on this website. I don’t intend to stop anytime soon. I know she reads this site, so I have every reason to continue.

As I’ve done before, I like to use this day to share a brief story to help illustrate why my mom is so wonderful. Picking a story is not easy because there are just so many. My mom does plenty to craft great memories for me and my siblings. From the time I was a kid to just a few weeks ago, she never hesitates to create lasting memories that are worth celebrating.

So, for Mother’s Day 2023, I’m going to single out one particular story from my youth. And as it just so happens, this story involves the Terminator.

Yes, I’m referring to that Terminator.

I promise I’m going somewhere with this. My mother probably already knows the story I’m about to tell and I imagine she understands why I’m telling it.

To appreciate this story, it’s also important to appreciate how my parents went about setting boundaries for me and my siblings. Like all responsible parents, my mother and father set clear rules. There were some things we weren’t allowed to do. There were also certain shows, movies, and video games that we weren’t allowed to play. The list wasn’t long, strict, or petty. And if I or any of my siblings asked, they would offer simple, understandable explanations.

It wasn’t always just a matter of “Because I said so.” My parents did try to be more reasonable than that. And as a result, it was easier to respect those rules.

It wouldn’t be accurate to call my parents overly strict. It also wouldn’t be accurate to call them overly lenient. They always found a way to strike just the right balance in terms of setting clear rules and letting their kids explore the world. It’s the kind of parenting that might as well be a superpower these days.

This leads me to their approach to R-rated movies, such as Terminator movies. My parents weren’t one to take their underage kids to R-rated movies, nor were they the kind to let us stay up late and watch R-rated movies on cable. However, they did make some rare exceptions, provided that they watch the movie with us. And one of the earliest exception was “Terminator 2: Judgement Day.”

That movie is considered one of the greatest movies ever made and for good reason. If any parent is going to make an exception, it’s a movie like this. And that’s what my mother did.

When I was around eight years old, my mother rented the movie. She and my dad actually loved the first one. I don’t know if they had ever seen it in the theaters, but I know they knew the franchise. And even though this movie was rated R, she let me and my younger brother stay up and watch it with her one night. This wasn’t something we had to beg her to do. She just let us do it because she’s just that awesome.

Now, being a kid, I didn’t appreciate all the complexities and nuances surrounding “Terminator 2: Judgement Day.” To my young mind, I just saw a movie full of great action scenes and intense moments. I didn’t really care about the content. The violence and action was just so thrilling to me. My young mind thought it was like a roller coaster ride. The trill of just being part of it was so incredible.

Along the way, my mother did take some time to explain what was going on. At the time, I hadn’t seen the first Terminator movie in full. She also made it a point to note when the violence was excessive. She didn’t try to shield me and my brother from it, but she did make sure we were aware. Even though we were kids, we still appreciated it.

Then, we got to the emotional ending of the movie when the Terminator sacrifices himself. To this day, it’s still one of the greatest moments in cinematic history. And even though I was young, I still felt the impact of that moment when John hugged the Terminator. Then, as he was being lowered into the steel and Sarah embraced her son, my mom embraced me. And that just made the moment all the more powerful.

To this day, “Terminator 2: Judgement Day” still holds a special place in my heart. In addition to being a great movie, it’s also a movie I will always associate with my wonderful mother.

Watching it with her that fateful night is a memory that has stuck with me over the years. It’s just one of the many I cherish between me and my mother. They come in so many forms and in unexpected ways. Whether it’s on Mother’s Day or while watching an R-rated movie as a kid, these moments are special. And for that, I will always be grateful.

So, to all the wonderful mothers out there, especially my wonderful mother, Happy Mother’s Day!

Hasta La Vista, Baby!

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Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights, real stories

Appreciating Some Awesome Things Father’s Have Done

Things are still pretty messed up right now. It seems like the year 2020 is determined to make us all lose hope in humanity and the future.

That’s where awesome fathers come in.

Father’s Day is this Sunday. For someone who has an awesome dad like me, it’s special because it gives me a chance to appreciate him in the way he deserves. I’m already preparing a little something for him that I hope he enjoys. He’s such a great guy and it’s because of him that I have hope for the future. Him and father’s like him are what help us stay strong during difficult times.

To those who don’t have a relationship with their fathers, it’s tragic. I feel for them. I hope they have a father figure in their life that they can look up to. Fathers are capable of so many amazing things. To help inspire that spirit, here’s a video from the channel Storytime With Reddit documenting some real life stories about fathers being awesome. Enjoy!

I sincerely hope that helped make your day. To all the awesome fathers out there, including my own, thank you for stories like this.

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Filed under gender issues, men's issues, real stories, Uplifting Stories

Another Awesome Story About My Awesome Mom On Mother’s Day Eve

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. For some people, it’s just one of those Hallmark Holidays that requires that you purchase a card, make a phone call, and watch a few cheesy 1-800-Flowers ad. For those lucky enough to have an awesome mom like mine, it’s more than that.

I’ve said it before on multiple occasions. I’ll keep finding other ways to say it until the entire internet hears it.

My mom is awesome.

That is not in dispute. That’s just an objective fact on par with math and gravity. I knew that when I was still a kid. I know that now as a full-grown adult. With each passing year, I come to appreciate my mother’s awesome more and more. That makes celebrating Mother’s Day extra special.

For a mom like mine, a card just won’t cut it. Even during a pandemic, I’m going to find a way to go the extra mile to show my mom how much I love and appreciate her. As part of that effort, I’d like to share another personal story that further proves my mom’s greatness. If this doesn’t get the point across, then you’re just being difficult.

This particular story is small in scope, but incredibly revealing with respect to the kind of person my mother is. I don’t know if she’ll remember this. I know she reads this site every now and then. I hope she does because for me, it’s one of those powerful memories that has only gotten more meaningful with time.

The setting of this story is simple, but still requires a bit of context. It occurred when I was in my late teens. It was the middle of summer and I was home from college. For me, that didn’t just mean sitting around all day, waiting for the fall semester to begin. I worked during the summers. I was also expected to do chores on the weekends. One of them involved mowing the lawn.

Now, that was one of my least favorite chores and my mom knew that. I still did it, but was rarely thrilled about it. I need to establish that before I lay out what happened. It matters with respect to how this ordeal played out.

It occurred on a Saturday morning. I was downstairs in the basement, watching TV and working on my laptop, as I often did. Then, my mother comes walking down the stairs and she’s not in a good mood. It has nothing to do with what I or any of my siblings did. She’s just miserable, restless, and tense, as people can get for no apparent reason.

While in that mood, she tells me to mow the lawn and she’s not nice about it. She doesn’t ask me to do it. She doesn’t even say, please. She just tells me to do it in a crass, callous way that is not typical of my mother. It shows just how bad a mood she was in that day.

Naturally, I don’t react with much enthusiasm. I groan and roll my eyes, but it’s not just because I hate mowing the lawn. That’s not how anyone wants to be told to do something. My mother senses this, as I’m not subtle about it. Not surprisingly, goes off and tell me not to give her any attitude.

Then, in a response I honestly didn’t think much about, I tell her, in so many words, that she could’ve at least said please. She also could’ve been less rude about it. I even threw in a comment about how she’d taught me to be courteous and polite all my life. I don’t remember exactly what I said because, like I said, I didn’t give much thought to my response. A part of me still dreaded my mother’s response.

What happened next is a further testament to my mother’s character. Almost immediately, her crummy mood changed. She put her hand up, shook her head, and apologized. She acknowledged that she was rude and in the wrong. I instinctively accepted that apology. I still agreed to mow the lawn later that day and I did.

What stands out so much about that moment was how much humility my mother showed in that moment. I’m her son and she’s the parent. Usually, the dynamic is reversed. It’s the parent who’s supposed to call the child out when they’re being rude or impolite. When the roles are flipped, it doesn’t go the same way.

My mother was well within her right, as a parent, to just brush off my comment. She was also within her right to pile onto it and call me an asshole for daring to call her out like that. She could’ve just said, “I can talk to you however I want because I’m your mom. That’s that.” Instead, she chose the more respectable path.

She showed that she practiced the values she preached to me and my siblings. She holds herself to the same standard that she holds me. When she’s wrong or rude, she owns up to it. She takes responsibility and apologizes, just as she would expect of me if I were in that position. It was a small gesture, but I gained a whole new level of respect for my mother that day.

I know more than a few people whose parents take full advantage of their authority. To them, respect is not earned from a child. It’s a given, even when it’s not reciprocated. There are instances when that’s necessary, but this wasn’t one of them. My mother was self-aware enough to recognize that and set a better example. Since then, I’ve done my best to meet those standards.

There are so many other wonderful stories that I could share about my mother. Some are more elaborate than others. This one is small by comparison, but it’s those kinds of stories that help you really appreciate the kind of person someone is. My mother is wonderful in so many ways. This is just one of them. It’s part of what makes Mother’s Day worth celebrating.

To my awesome mom, I love you with all my heart.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights, Uplifting Stories