Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Premium Coffee Edition


First, I want to say on record that I am not a coffee snob. I’m not one of those people who stands in line at a coffee shop and spends a full five minutes giving a barista intricate details on how to brew my order. Those people are right up there with the assholes who text, drive, and give you the finger for honking your horn.

That said, I love coffee as more than a morning pick-me-up. I can also tell the difference between the dirt-cheap brew you get at a gas station and the kind you pay double for at a specialty shop. I’ll still drink the cheap stuff if I just need to perk myself up in the morning, but that premium blend is something I value.

The difference between cheap coffee and premium coffee is similar to the difference between a quickie in a broom closet and an entire afternoon of passionate lovemaking. Both feel great. Both are inherently desirable. There’s a time and a place for both. One is just inherently more satisfying than the other.

That’s how I feel about good, premium coffee. I’d estimate that around 75 percent of my best writing occurs while I have a cup of premium coffee in reach. It’s not just a necessary stimulant for the modern world. It’s nourishment for the mind, body, and soul. A good cup of coffee helped inspire these Sexy Sunday Thoughts. I hope they, along with your next brew, can inspire something just as awesome. Enjoy!

“If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then porn is basically a haiku.”

“Being single and ready to mingle is like being a bounty hunter for orgasms.”

“If someone is stupid, but still gets laid, can they really be stupid?”

“Every successful prostitute starts as an opportunistic slut.”

“Is a best friend you don’t have sex with really your best friend?”

“Patience is both a virtue and a critical component of effective foreplay.”

“Technically, having sex with a germophobe is a form of safe sex.”

Not everyone needs fancy, premium coffee every morning to get themselves going. Like impassioned lovemaking, it’s something that you want to save for the right moments. That way, you can literally taste the joy that it brings. It’s both refreshing and uniquely sexy. What more could you want in a well-caffeinated drink?

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