The following is a review I wrote for PopMatters. Enjoy!
Gloriously Destructive Deconstruction in ‘Batman: White Knight #6’
Tag Archives: Jack Fisher Blog
March 9, 2018 · 1:34 pm
Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Strong Coffee Edition
I don’t consider myself a die-hard coffee enthusiast, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t often depend on this holiest of beans to get me through my day. In fact, there are many moments in my novels and my sexy short stories that I owe to having a good coffee buzz either early in the morning or late into a sleepless night.
There are even times a simple cup of coffee just isn’t enough. Every now and then, I eagerly splurge on an over-caffinated espresso or an extra-suggary frappachino. I know it’s bad for me. I know it’s way more buzz than I need. I don’t care, though. It’s a delicious way to get my ass in gear to write more sexy stories.
I know I’m not the only one who has a special love/dependence on coffee. There are probably a few people out there who are more passionate about it than I’ll ever be. Given that there are only so many hours in the day and our bodies are painfully limited when it comes to maximizing that time, coffee is a critical component to all our endeavors, sexy or otherwise.
For this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts, I’d like to dedicate the sexy sentiment to this wonderful elixir of modern life. Whether it’s just a small mug of black coffee or a foam-centric novelty, I gladly praise coffee and all its wondrous forms. Yes, that even includes decaf.
“A bitter ex and a horny ex aren’t always mutually exclusive.”
“Promoting abstinence until marriage is kind of like promoting student loan debt, but hiding the interest rate.”
“Are couples who regularly kiss with their tongues, but refuse to share a toothbrush total hypocrites?”
“Does every wedding anniversary also double as a celebration for avoiding divorce?”
“You can learn more about a man from his bachelor party than his honeymoon.”
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“Only getting a goodbye hug from a date is like only getting nominated for an Oscar.”
“If falling in love is the ultimate drug, then it’s one of the few that can and should be taken with alcohol.”
While I doubt this will give anyone the same buzz as a well-caffinated espresso, I sincerely hope it helps everyone feel more alert. There are many ways to energize yourself in the morning. Sometimes, an overpriced latte is worth it. Other times, it’s more efficient to just channel a little sex appeal. The only difference is that one is packed with sugar and calories while the other just makes your pants a little tighter.
Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts
The following is a comic book review that I wrote for PopMatters for Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #24. Enjoy!
Mighty New Worlds and Mightier Complications in ‘Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #24’
February 26, 2018 · 5:42 pm
Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Slushy Roads Edition
There are people who love winter snow. I used to be one of them and I don’t deny there’s an inherent beauty in seeing a winter wonderland unfold outside your door, preferably from a heated room with a warm cup of cocoa. Even though I still plan to retire to a tropical climate after I sell enough sexy novels, I still appreciate winter scenery and fully understand those who love it.
However, I’ve yet to meet someone who sees any beauty in the slushy mess that covers the streets when the snow stops being pretty and the rain starts mixing with the ice. There isn’t much beauty or sex appeal to that stuff. Even I’m reluctant to try and craft something from it and I wrote a sexy short story about being snowed in.
Slush and wet roads aren’t very sexy, especially when warmer weather and the prospect of not having to wear layers outside is so close. There’s only so much an aspiring erotica/romance writer can do to inject sex appeal into a situation, but I’m still going to try.
That’s why I’m dedicating this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to shared misery we all feel when we see more slush than winter wonderland. We’re not quite through winter yet, but it’s going to get drearier before it gets sexier. It’s always worth the wait, though, and these sexy thoughts should help make it more bearable.
“When you think about it, a slap on the ass is an impromptu test of the durability of your humping muscles.”
“The noises people make during sex says a lot about their enthusiasm and experience, as well as the lack thereof.”
“Virgin women are the physical embodiment of a new car smell while virgin men are the embodiment of a failed TV pilot.”
“Texting during sex is like juggling during heart surgery. It’s a significant detriment to the process.”
“A morning blowjob from your lover is like a fresh cup of coffee, but a quickie in the shower is like an overpriced latte with extra foam.”
“Does the fact we make so many divine references during orgasm mean sex counts as a form of praying?”
“The inherent health benefits of orgasms make sex the nutritional equivalent of free vitamins.”
These sexy musings won’t wash away the slush or make the winter end any sooner, but I hope it makes the prospect of spring and summer that much more enticing. Slush is ugly. Pouring rain that doesn’t involve a wet T-shirt contest in Cancun is miserable. The most we can do is let nature take its course and find a way to be sexy along the way.
Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts
Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Valentine’s Day Recovery Edition
By now, I hope everyone has had enough time to recover from Valentine’s Day. Whether it’s from reminders of how much being lonely sucks or serious rug burns from excessive lovemaking, I hope everyone has healed up. If Hallmark wants more of our money, they’ll just have to wait until Mother’s Day.
I like to think I’ve gotten better at handling Valentine’s Day alone. Thanks largely to the loving support of my friends and family, especially my awesome mother, I don’t get as miserable or depressed as I used to. Don’t get me wrong. I still want to find love one day. Until that day comes, though, I’m content knowing that I can handle being single.
In the meantime, there are still plenty of other meaningful ways to celebrate love. As an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I certainly intend to do my part. I’ve got plenty of sexy stories to tell, both with the upcoming release of “Rescued Hearts” and my sexy short stories.
That said, I totally understand if certain people are just plain burned out on love and romance right now. To those people, I say take all the time you need. Let this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts get you back into a less Hallmark-driven mindset. Enjoy!
“There’s no polite way to ask a friend for money for the same reason there’s no polite way to ask a lover for anal.”
“A lover’s willingness to be intimate with their partner is directly proportional to their willingness to mix their laundry.”
“Sometimes using a vibrator during sex is akin to using cheat code. Other times, it’s more like having extra tools to make the job easier.”
“Pulling a muscle during sex is like getting a flat tire. You can still move forward, but you’re risking more damage by doing so.”
“A person who invents a better smartphone will never create as much joy as someone who invents better lube.”
“When you think about it, an orgy is just the sexual equivalent of binge-watching.”
“For some people, talking dirty during sex is the difference between a T-bone steak and an under-cooked hot dog.”
For those of us who are still single, take comfort. You’ve survived another Valentine’s Day. For those who are in relationships, take comfort as well. You also survived another Valentine’s Day. It can be an arduous effort for both, but it’s one that’s worth enduring. We all need to make time for love. If that means enriching executives at Hallmark once a year, so be it.
Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts
Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Tropical Longing Edition
It’s early February and in addition to me lamenting another Valentine’s Day spent alone, this is also the time of year when I sincerely wish I lived in a more tropical climate. I actually have a few friends and relatives who live in Florida and never have to wear more than a light sweatshirt when they go outside. They just love rubbing that in my face every chance they get.
While that sort of sentiment is annoying, it still inspires me to long for warmer, sexier climate. It also inspires me to start planning my vacations for the spring and summer. I made a big deal out of the wonderful time I had at the beach last year. I intend to risk more sun burn and do it again.
Unfortunately, I still have to make it through a few more weeks of winter. If the forecast from this year’s Groundhog Day is any indication, then it’s going to be a longer wait than usual. That’s just going to give my friends and relatives more reasons to rub their tropical lifestyle in my face.
I can’t do much about the weather, but I can make the wait easier. In my experience, few things warm the body and soul up better than some sexy musings. That’s why I’m dedicating this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to all those longing for time in a tropical climate. Trust me, you’re not alone in this sentiment.
“Men can never compete sexually with experienced lesbians because fingers and tongues don’t get flaccid.”
“A man has no idea how much he hates his own gender until he has a hot daughter.”
“Being able to cook doesn’t inherently make a person sexier, but great sex rarely occur on an empty stomach.”
“Sharing is caring, but humping is more rewarding.”
“The dedication of a lover is directly proportional to how willing they are to be in the same room when you’re throwing up.”
“Having a toned ass is like having a powerful engine. You rarely need that kind of power, but you like to know you can use it at some point.”
“Is it possible that some sluts are just being extra thorough in vetting their options?”
These sorts of sexy sentiments may not deliver the same feeling we get when we lay on a tropical beach under the warm mid-day sun, but I hope it reminds us why those feelings are so special. I’m already done with cold weather. I still hope to spend time in a tropical setting at some point this year. I encourage everyone else to do so and enjoy all the sexy thoughts that come with it.
Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts
“Love Like Champions” A Sexy Short Story (About Super Bowl LII)
The following is a short, sexy story that was directly inspired by the outcome of Super Bowl LII and some of the passionate Eagles fans that I know personally. Enjoy!
“This game, Darla…this fucking game,” said Adam Mayfield, sounding more stressed than any man in his mid-30s should.
“That’s the fifth time you’ve said that, Adam,” Darla groaned, who’d stopped trying to calm him down.
“You’ve been keeping track?”
“What else is there to do when we’re out of buffalo wings and cheese dip?”
“I’m sorry, damn it!” he said. “It’s just…I had this same feeling 13 years ago the last time the Eagles played the Pats in the Super Bowl. That did not turn out well.”
“No need to remind me,” said Darla. “I remember…more than you know.”
He probably didn’t hear that last part. He was too caught up in the spectacle that was Super Bowl LII. Darla had anticipated a stressful night since the Eagles topped the Vikings two weeks ago. She and her long-time boyfriend, Adam, were as big an Eagles fan as they came. Them being in the Super Bowl was a test of heart, in more ways than one.
Unlike Adam, Darla hadn’t been born in Philadelphia. She’d moved there from Scranton about 15 years ago, following her father and uncle, who helped her get a job at a mortgage company. Being from a family with three brothers, each being big football fans themselves, she thought she knew what it meant to be a fan when she embraced the Eagles as her home team. Adam proved her wrong.
“How can I love a team so much, but be so frustrated by them?” Darla groaned.
She made it a point to say that out loud, hoping her lover would get the message. Either he was ignoring her or he’d tuned everything out. She was inclined to believe the latter, but Darla could never be sure. Adam was such a passionate man. That was a big reason why she fell in love with him. The frustrating part was how he channeled it during football season.
Adam came from a long line of Eagles fans. He’d been born in Philadelphia. His parents, grandparents, and siblings were all passionate about their team. During every game in every season, they wore their heart on their sleeve, cheering and lamenting their team through every win and every loss.
Darla thought she could handle cheering with them. She learned early on that Adam and his family were on a whole other level. It showed in how elated they were when the Eagles won and how miserable they were when the Eagles lost. However, even though she’d been with Adam for over a decade, she’d never seen him react to a Super Bowl loss. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
“I may have to take a trip to Baltimore tomorrow,” she muttered.
As much as Darla wanted to convey her sentiment to Adam, she too had an investment in the game. She didn’t want to see her team lose either. She was sick of getting crap from the Cowboys, Steelers, and 49er fans in her family, whose teams had multiple rings while hers had none. That had to change at some point, but she preferred it changed tonight.
“It’s not enough of a lead,” Adam said, his hands clasped together as though he were praying to the football gods. “38 to 33 with more than two minutes left and Tom fucking Brady at quarterback? If the Falcons couldn’t hold on with a 25-point lead last year, for crying out loud!”
“These aren’t the Falcons, babe. These are the Eagles,” Darla reminded him. “This is our team.”
“I know. That’s what scares me even more.”
His pessimism was annoying, but usually right. There was a reason why the Eagles had never won a Super Bowl. They had a tendency to choke in these exact situations whereas the Patriots seemed to thrive.
Darla stayed on her side of the couch, almost not wanting to watch Brady pull off another late-game miracle at the expense of her favorite team. She couldn’t turn away, though. She kept watching.
It felt like her stomach was up in her throat. She noticed Adam anxiously tapping his feet, something he only did when he was extremely nervous. The last time she saw that kind of nervousness, he asked her to move in with him. She could only imagine the kind of tension he felt now.
It was second and two from the 33. The Patriots offense had over two minutes left, a timeout, and the greatest quarterback of all time being coached by one of the greatest coaches of all time. It seemed like the story had already been written. Brady would drive the Patriots down the field, score the game-winning touchdown, and go home as a six-time Super Bowl champion while the Eagles remained winless in the big game.
“Please, just get it over with,” Adam groaned. “My heart can only take so much of this shit.”
“They’ll find a way,” said Darla, trying to will the fates in her team’s favor. “They have to!”
They watched on. The ball was snapped. Then, it happened.
“FUMBLE!” Adam shouted, shooting up from the couch as though he’d been struck by lightning.
“THEY GOT IT! EAGLES BALL!” Darla said, shouting as well.
In an instant, the mood shifted from dread to elation. She shot up and embraced her boyfriend and cheered at the sudden turn of events. She could even hear the cheers outside. All of downtown Philadelphia must have seen what they just saw. The Eagles had just forced a fumble and recovered the ball. The sight of Tom Brady, the so-called greatest of all time, sitting there on the turf in defeat was just too satisfying.
“It’s really happening. They might really do it!” Darla cheered, still clinging to her boyfriend.
“I know! It’s not over yet, but they’re close!” Adam exclaimed. “They’re so goddamn close this time!”
“Then, you better hold onto me, babe. I’m still not sure this is real.”
“Are you kidding? I’m not letting go until the last tic on the clock!”
It might have been superstition. It might have been the sheer weight of the moment. Whatever the reason, she and Adam clung to one another, still trembling with excitement at the prospect of their team finally winning the Super Bowl. If that moment finally came, it had to happen when they were in each other’s arms. It just had to be that way.
Her heart still racing and her passions still in overdrive, she and Adam sat back down on the couch. He grasped her hand firmly while she clung to his favorite Eagles jersey, which he wore for every game. They watched as the Eagles did the most they could with the ball.
They ran it three times, taking as much time off the clock as possible. They couldn’t get a first down, but they still managed a field goal, putting them up 41 to 33. There was still a minute left. Even with no timeouts, it was still the New England Patriots. It was still Tom Brady at quarterback.
“41 to 33,” Darla said, holding her lover a bit closer. “That’s going to be the final score.”
“I hope you’re right, Darla. I really do,” Adam said, still affected by the Eagles’ history of disappointment.
“It’ll happen. I know it will. You’ll see!”
She made it sound as though she’d already seen the final score. Darla learned early on in her time as an Eagles fan that victory was never secure. However, she refused to give into the dread this time. She was certain her team would win.
The next minute might have been the longest in the history of sports. The Patriots got the kickoff. They messed up on a few plays, but managed to move the ball to midfield. With each yard they gained, she felt Adam tremble a bit more, doubt and dread creeping into him with every play. She held him a little closer, as if to protect him from it. She wanted him to believe as strongly as she did.
Finally, it all came down to one play. With 9 seconds left and no timeouts, it was down to a final Hail Mary to the end zone.
“This is it,” Darla told him. “This is the last play of the game.”
“Please, be right,” Adam said. “I want you to be right…so much.”
“I know.”
“No…I don’t think you do.”
Darla cast her lover a strange glance, but didn’t have time to scrutinize it. The play was about to go off. As soon as the Patriots snapped the ball, time seemed to move in slow-motion.
For a moment, it looked like Brady would get sacked. She sensed Adam wanting to shoot up and cheer. That didn’t happen, though. He managed to escape, as he always did, and got the throw off. At that moment, Darla almost felt her heart crack again.
“Not this time,” she said in defiance.
She and Adam watched, like a couple of deer looking at an oncoming train. The ball hung up in the air for an eternity. The game clock now read zero. It all came down to this.
Finally, in an instant, it actually happened. The ball hit the ground. The pass was incomplete. The game was over and the Philadelphia Eagles were Super Bowl champions.
“YES! THEY DID IT! THEY REALLY FUCKING DID IT!” Adam exclaimed.
“THEY WON! OH MY GOD! THE EAGLES WON!” Darla exclaimed.
In a moment of pure, unadulterated elation, Darla and Adam cheered with the rest of Philadelphia. They jumped up from the couch and hugged, as though they’d just won the lottery. Earlier that year, winning the lottery seemed more likely than seeing the Eagles win their first ever Super Bowl. After only knowing disappointment for so long, Eagles fans like her and Adam could finally say that they won.
They kept wildly hugging each other and cheering, watching as the confetti fell on their favorite team. They didn’t care that they knocked over some empty beer bottles and crumbled up bags of chips. Their team had won. For once, she and Adam knew what it felt like for their favorite team to be a Super Bowl champion.
At one point after all the cheering, they settled down enough to face each other. Adam hadn’t let go of her since before the fumble. She hadn’t let go of him either, still clinging to his favorite jersey. Now, in this moment of pure elation, they looked at each other with a sense of both shock and triumph.
“You were right, babe. You were right,” Adam said.
“Yeah, I guess I was,” Darla said with a smug grin.
“You really have no idea how much I wanted the Eagles to win this…to finally see them win a championship.”
“You don’t need to tell me. I know you’re a bigger Eagles fan than I’ll ever be, Adam. You deserve to run down Broad Street and cheer with other fans like you.”
“See, that’s just it,” he said in a more serious tone. “I wasn’t planning on doing that. My buddies at the office all had elaborate plans for how they would celebrate if they won, but I wanted no part of it. I knew if this actually happened…if the Eagles actually won…this is where I’d want to be.”
Darla’s heart skipped a beat. Adam had that look in his eye, the kind she saw when he wanted to get extra romantic with her. She hadn’t expected to see that tonight, even if the Eagles won. During football season, she’d always been content to let him cheer victor or mourn defeat in his own way. It was an unspoken rule, of sorts, that they stayed out of each other’s way when that happened.
However, there was something different about this and not just because the Eagles had won the Super Bowl. That same passion that Adam usually channeled into every Eagles game was now solely focused on her.
“Darla, I know I’m not the easiest guy to love. Hell, I’m not even the top 50,” he told her.
“Adam, I know you get worked up after Eagles games,” Darla said. “Are you really sure you want talk to me like this after the biggest game in Eagles history?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” Adam said without hesitation. “We’ve been together for 13 years now. In that time, we’ve built a great life together…one that often revolves around rooting for the Eagles. I know I don’t say it enough and I doubt I’ll ever have the mind to say it again, but I’ve treasured every moment of that life…from the worst loses to this amazing win.”
Now, Darla’s hard raced even more than it had before the fumble. This couldn’t possibly be what it sounded like. She and Adam had already discussed it on more than one occasion. They were boyfriend and girlfriend. They had made that relationship work for over a decade. She thought that was how it had to be. Darla had made peace with that long ago.
However, when she saw Adam get down on one knee, hold her hand in his, and look up at her as though she were the Lombardi Trophy, it began to sank in. A Super Bowl parade wouldn’t be the only celebration tonight.
“Darla Mason,” Adam said, “when we met 13 years ago, I was at the lowest possible point. The Eagles had just lost the Super Bowl. I had no job, too much student debt, and a bad history of dating women who couldn’t put up with me. You changed that. You came along when I was at my lowest, stuck with me when you could’ve walked away, and loved me more than I ever deserved.”
“Adam…you’re making me feel like the Super Bowl MVP, here,” Darla said, her heart ready to burst.
“Now, here we are…13 years later, watching the same Philadelphia Eagles beat the New England Patriots. We’ve gone from one devastating lost to the most exhilarating victory possible. I say, let’s make it our own personal dynasty! Merry me, Darla. Merry me and let’s fly together like a couple of Eagles!”
Darla didn’t think it was possible for something to sound so corny, yet so heartfelt. Adam had to have rehearsed it ways for weeks on end, possibly since the Eagles clinched a playoff spot. The Eagles win the Super Bowl. He proposes to her. Given how they came together after they lost 13 years ago, it seemed so fitting. That made her response just as obvious.
“Yes!” Darla said eagerly. “Yes, Adam…I will marry you.”
“God, I love you, Darla.”
“I love you too, my future husband. Now, shut up and kiss me like a champion!”
Adam didn’t need a trophy or a call from the President to heed her desire. He shot up from the floor, threw his arms around her, and embraced her passionately as they came together in a deep kiss.
It still took a moment to sink in, both the Eagles being Super Bowl champions and her being engaged now. It was a hell of a feeling, a bigger rush than anything she’d felt before in her life. The sound of rowdy Eagles fans cheering outside could be heard. She imagined there would be a hell of a party down Broad Street for the rest of the night. They could enjoy that party. She intended to have one of her own with Adam.
As they kissed and hugged, the sound and images of the Eagles’ victory playing out on the TV, Darla felt those same passions that she and Adam channeled so strongly take a new form. They were champions. They were engaged. They were in love. With so much excitement and elation surrounding them, there was only one other way this night could be more perfect.
“Adam,” Darla said breathlessly as their lips briefly parted.
“Yes, my future wife?” he said playfully.
“Do me,” she told him. “Right here…in the living room…with the Eagles accepting the Lombardi trophy!”
Adam’s reaction to those intense, seductive words were priceless. Still awash in the thrill of victory, he had the look of a man who could slay a dragon for his woman. It was more than enough to set the tone for how they would celebrate their team’s victory.
“Darla, if you could be any sexier without wearing an Eagles cheerleader costume,” he told her.
“You want me to go find a costume? Or do you want to get naked right now and make love like a champion?”
“Well, I was going to call my folks and share the news first, but…”
His words trailed off as his desires took over. He kissed her again, this time with the passion of a champion. Darla kissed back, eager to match that same championship-caliber energy. For such a powerful moment that had been 13 years in the making, nothing less was acceptable.
Like a couple of pros, they went to work undressing each other. Adam pulled her favorite Eagles sweatshirt up over her head while she undid his jeans. Then, in a show of strength that would’ve impressed any starting offensive lineman, he lifted her up in his arms and laid her down on the couch.
Shortly after she fell atop the soft cushions, he took off his pants and underwear, followed quickly by his shirt. Whether by the thrill of victory or the passion of having proposed to his lover, he already bore a rock-hard erection. He looked so strong and powerful under the glow of an Eagles’ victory. It was enough to make Darla wetter than she’d been since her prom night.
“Off! Get my panties…off,” she urged him.
Her lover gladly obliged her, grabbing them by the side and sliding them off her shapely legs. She even undid her bra in the process, allowing her breasts to pop free. The sight of her naked body with the image of Eagles players kissing the Lombardi Trophy in the background sent Adam into a passionate frenzy that Darla eagerly embraced.
“Darla…my MVP,” Adam said to her.
Joining her on the couch, her new fiancé got on top of her. She eagerly spread her legs, allowing him to position herself over her while still having a nice view of the Eagles celebrating their championship. Holding onto her thighs and focusing that special passion of his solely on her, Adam thrust his hips forward and entered her.
“Ooh Adam!” Darla cried out.
Already, she felt like an MVP. His manly flesh filled her womanly depth, sending a surge of sensation up through her core. Almost immediately, Adam began working his body against hers, making love to her with a fervor unlike anything she’d experience in the 13 years they’d been together.
With each movement, he rocked her world, letting out deep grunts that doubled as sounds of victory. He held onto her thighs, holding them apart, which allowed him to penetrate deep with every thrust. Darla moaned with delight at every sensation, reaching up and caressing her lover’s face. She kept beckoning him with her gaze, urging him to make love to. Like star quarterback in the clutch, he delivered.
“Oh yes! Oohhh yes!” Darla gasped. “Adam…my champion.”
“Darla…my love,” he said.
Her world kept rocking as their naked bodies moved and gyrated together in the ultimate victory dance, evoking a potent combination of pleasure and triumph. At one point, Darla pulled him down closer so they could kiss as they made love. It added extra intimacy along with the euphoria of victory.
It proved to be a perfect combination, victory and love. She and Adam, energized by their team’s first championship, tested the stability of their eight-year-old couch. They made love with the kind of vigor and passion that only champions could muster.
One moment, he had her bent over the edge, thrusting into her from behind so she could see the Commissioner present the Lombardi Trophy to Eagles owner, Jeffrey Lurie. The next, she had him pinned on his back, riding his cock as the players sang the Eagles fight song play while accepting their congratulations. Somewhere along the way, she had an orgasm. In fact, she ended up having several.
That rush of pleasure, alongside the thrill of being engaged and being an Eagles fan on this night, made it extra special. It was a feeling she made sure she shared with her lover, making sure he got more than his share of the pleasure when he achieved his own climax.
“Darla…I’m close,” he told her.
“Then, go on, my love. Fly with me with me…like an Eagle,” Darla said, mirroring his own passionate words.
When it finally happened, she made it a point to embrace him passionately, tying her love with the heat of ecstasy. Those same cheers he let out when the game ended turned to cries of ecstasy. It helped cap off a truly remarkable celebration for a very memorable Super Bowl Sunday, one that Darla wouldn’t soon forget.
Their championship lovemaking complete, Darla settled into her lover’s arms. They remained naked, still indulging in the blissful afterglow of both passion and victory. Other fans might cheer. Others might loudly proclaim that this was the best night in the history of Philadelphia. However, only Darla and her lover could claim to know the true bliss of soaring like eagles.
Filed under Sexy Short Story, sexy stories
Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Super Bowl LII Edition
The wait is finally over. Today is the day. Super Bowl LII, also known as beer and buffalo wing appreciation day, has finally arrived. It’s the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles. If you’re a football fan, you don’t need much to get excited about today.
I’m not going to lie. Neither team playing is my favorite team. In fact, I actively rooted against these teams at multiple points during the regular season and the playoffs. It’s not just because I didn’t pick either team to make it this far. I have my own team loyalties that I take almost as seriously as my sexy stories. This Super Bowl doesn’t change that.
Never-the-less, I’m still a big football fan. I love watching football and I love watching big games with high stakes. You can’t get much bigger than the Super Bowl. Between the stakes, the commercials, and the halftime show, it’s a wonderful spectacle that I enjoy every year. Plus, I can never have too many excuses to drink beer and eat buffalo wings.
Whether you’re a Patriots fan, an Eagles fan, or despise both teams, the Super Bowl is the alpha and omega of all things football. I intend to enjoy it. I also have some Sexy Sunday Thoughts that I hope will make the wait easier between now and the opening kickoff.
“Exercises that mimic humping send mixed signals, but health benefits go beyond muscle tone.”
“The fact that celibacy is treated as a virtue while anorexia is treated as a disease highlights the breadth of our sexual hang-ups.”
“Does the pain of childbirth and the pleasure of orgasms require that all women be masochistic on some levels?”
“It’s physically impossible to tell a tragic story that ends in two people giving each other oral sex.”
“Too many sitcoms give the impression that our neighbors are hot, single, and eager to bone.”
“Afterglow is the sexual equivalent of a post-credits scene for a movie in that it can preview a sequel or add something extra to the experience.”
“If sex is like chocolate, then foreplay is like the hot melted fudge.”
I hope this gets everyone excited for the big game, among other things. Regardless of who wins, the Super Bowl is a major cultural event. Even if you just watch it for the commercials , it’s an event worth appreciating. It’s the culmination of America’s favorite sport. Let’s enjoy it for what it is and spend every other day of the year angrily envying Tom Brady.
Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts
Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Steamy Hot Shower Edition
I don’t know why, but a hot shower in the middle of winter is uniquely satisfying. Actually, I take that back. I know exactly why it’s so satisfying, but it’s one of those things that makes too much sense to scrutinize. I know the human race can’t agree on much, but I think we all appreciate that special feeling that comes with taking a hot, steamy shower on a bitter-cold day.
I’m usually pretty quick and efficient with my showers. As much as I enjoy being naked, I’m not one of those guys who lingers in a shower longer than he has to. It’s not just because I prefer to save money on my water bill. I’m just a guy who likes to get clean, get sexy, and then get to work. I’ve got sexy stories to write and sexy thoughts to share, damn it.
During this time of year, though, when it’s colder than a penguin’s ass, I let myself linger. Few things are more relaxing than walking in from the bitter cold, stripping off all the layers I’ve had on for most of the day, and stepping into a steaming hot shower. It’s one of the most satisfying things I can do for my body that doesn’t involve a naked woman.
I’m sure others share my sentiment on the joys of hot, steamy showers in the middle of winter. As such, I dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to that special feeling we all enjoy during these coldest of days. They may not be as comforting or relaxing as a nice, steamy shower, but I’ll gladly make the effort.
“A man with strong fingers and a woman with soft lips lay a solid foundation for a passionate relationship.”
“Too many men and women think about their wedding night the same way rookie athletes think about their first championship.”
“The passion of great sex is directly proportional to the need to wash the bed sheets the next morning.”
“Men who have orgasms during foreplay are premature, but women who have them are just enthusiastic.”
“Having sex while drunk is like cooking while blindfolded. You can still do it, but the results can be messy.”
“A boring sex life is like eating fries without ketchup. You can still stomach it, but it’s not nearly as appetizing.”
“A quickie is the sexual equivalent of a hot pocket in that it’s basic, but still gets the job done.”
I hope that makes everyone’s next hot shower that much more enjoyable. There are many ways to endure the cold weather this time of year. Some are sexier than others. Since not everybody has a lover who can help them realize some of those ways, I say a nice, hot shower is something we can all appreciate.
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Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Icy Roads Edition
As I write this, a good chunk of the country is dealing with yet another snowstorm and/or the kind of bitter cold that kills the mood, even ardent romantics like myself. Believe me, as someone who savors the ability to sleep naked, when I say that I’m not at all a fan of these conditions. That’s why I still plan to retire to a tropical climate as soon as I sell enough sexy novels.
There are many frustrations that come with winter weather. Where I live, a good chunk of those frustrations manifest in the traffic conditions around my area. I know there are some parts of the country that are very familiar and very adept at dealing with those condition. I don’t live in those parts so that means just driving to the grocery store ensures many middle fingers will get some extra use.
For the next several weeks, at least, I’ll be smelling rock salt wherever I go and watching cars skid haplessly along the road. It’s not going to be a pleasant experience, but I’ve endured far worse before. In the end, it only makes that special moment when I can comfortably sleep naked again that much more magical.
Until that time comes, the best I can do is maintain some semblance of a sexy mood while this lousy weather passes. Whether you’re stuck at home or stuck enduring winter traffic, this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is for you. Hope it helps keep you warm, among other things.
“Undersized briefs are the closest men will ever come to knowing the discomfort women experience in wearing heels.”
“If you found yourself unable to perform in the bedroom last night, you can make up for it by cooking a damn good breakfast in the morning.”
“A man can’t know just how the extent of his hand/eye coordination until he attempts to shave his balls.”
“The fact that many drugs are compared to orgasms says a lot more about orgasms than drugs.”
“When you think about it, a strip club is basically eBay for various sexual experiences.”
“A broken condom is one of the few disasters that leads to the creation of life rather than the loss of it.”
“The true measure of a man’s integrity is measured by his willingness to pay for porn.”
If you’re snowed in, have a messy commute, or constantly scraping ice off your car, I hope this helps. If you’re already sick of rock salt ruining your shoes, I hope this helps too. If you’re lucky enough to live in a tropical climate during this time of year, I just envy you. Winter and lousy weather comes and goes. Sexy thoughts, however, have a much more memorable impact.
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