Tag Archives: sexy thoughts

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Polar Vortex Edition

woman-2191502_960_720

It’s a brand new year and some people are still adjusting to it all. For some, though, they have to do so in some of the most bone-chilling, ball-shriveling weather of the year. As I write this, there’s a big ball of winter’s worst cold hovering over my region. It has really tested my fondness for sleeping naked.

Winter is definitely here and some have argued that it’s the least sexy time of the year. I would tend to agree with that point, if only because it’s hard to wear a bikini or a speedo in sub-freezing weather. That’s not to say there’s no inherent sexiness during this time of year. There certainly is. One of my novels, “Holiday Heat,” is even built around it.

Even in those sexy situations, though, there comes a point where it’s just so cold that it’s hard to think many sexy thoughts. It’s a challenge, even for me, but it’s one I’m more than up for.

So, with the help of some extra hot chocolate and multiple layers of clothing, I’m going to warm myself up as best I can to share a fresh round of “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.” I’m sure there are more than a few people out there already missing the warm summer breezes from the beach. I hope these sexy thoughts will help get you through the coming weeks.


“Nobody can claim they’re truly comfortable in someone else’s home until they’ve had sex and/or masturbated in it.”


“Pity sex is like cold pizza in that it’s not ideal, but still satisfies.”


“When you think about it, every great leader in history would’ve also made an great dominatrix.”


“Is morning wood just a man’s penis trying to be proactive?”


“Good meals and good sex leave you equally tired, but only one requires someone to clean dishes.”


“When you think about it, laws against prostitution are just laws against unsanctioned orgasms.”


“The clitoris is the closest thing a woman has to a volume knob, but testicles are the closest thing men have to an off-switch.”


I hope that warms everyone up a bit. I imagine more hot cocoa and long underwear will be necessary in the days to come, but we can’t let cold weather completely numb our sexiness. As an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I intend to do my part. If I can help keep people warm until bikini/speedo weather returns, then I’ll know I’ve done my job.

1 Comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

My Five Major Goals For 2018

It’s over. The year that was 2017 is complete. To say it was eventful, especially given the events that affected it in 2016, would be an understatement on par with calling Jennifer Lawrence decent looking. It’s certainly been an eventful year for me, but I’m ready to close the book on 2017 and look ahead to 2018.

Every year, I try to establish a set of goals at the beginning so that I have some semblance of focus for the coming year. They’re rarely specific or overly-ambitious, but they give me a sense of perspective that help me guide myself forward in a positive way. I genuinely want to improve myself year after year, both an erotica/romance writer and a man.

Looking back at the goals I set for myself in 2017, I think it’s safe to say I made progress. It’s not quite as much as I hoped, but I feel as though I’ve taken a step forward. I’d like to keep moving forward in 2018 and I encourage everyone else to do so.

With that in mind, I’d like to share a list of goals that I’ve set for myself for 2018. While these aren’t the only goals I intend to pursue, as every year tends to bring unexpected challenges, I want these to serve as the foundation for how I’ll make 2018 both enjoyable and sexy.


Goal #1: Promote The Hell Out Of “Rescued Hearts”

rescuedhearts_9781786862631_800

This is the most pressing goal I’ll face in the early parts of 2018. As I announced earlier this year, my next published novel by Totally Entwined Group is “Rescued Hearts” and it’s set for release in February. It’ll be my second major release since “Passion Relapse” and I hope to make it the foundation of greater success.

Now, I never expected “Passion Relapse” to be a best seller from the get-go, nor did I expect any of my other self-published novels to gain that kind of audience. I understand that I’m still fairly new to this industry. I’ve released less than a dozen novels and I’ve yet to build a strong audience. “Rescued Hearts” is just another step in that effort and I’m hoping it’ll be a big one.

As I’ve mentioned before, I know little about marketing. I can talk about sexy topics all day long, but selling them is a challenge. I’m hoping to learn more about that process in 2018, although I’m not sure which form that’ll take. I hope Totally Entwined Group will continue to help me, both as an author and as someone trying to stake his claim in this sexy industry. By the time 2018 ends, I want to feel like I’ve made real progress.


Goal #2: Finalize And Submit Two Additional Manuscripts

While I intend to focus heavily on promoting “Rescued Hearts” upon release, I’ve no intention of stopping slowing down the development of other sexy ideas. During the latter parts of 2017, I worked hard to complete a couple of manuscripts that I intend to submit to my publisher very soon. Given how helpful Totally Entwined Group has been, they’ll likely have priority.

However, these stories are quite different from both “Passion Relapse” and “Rescued Hearts.” I’m trying to mix up the sexiness as I grow as a writer. That means you won’t see some of the same themes I’ve been exploring in previous novels. You’ll see a different kind of sex appeal, one I hope expands the appeal of my work.

While I’m hopeful for these manuscripts, I won’t hide from the fact that they’re still in need of editing and revising. The first draft of a manuscript is almost always subject to some pretty major revisions. Even my first novel, “Passion Relapse,” involved a complete re-write of the ending. I don’t know whether these manuscripts will require that much revision, but I’m willing to put in the work to ensure they’re sufficiently sexy.

These manuscripts are both a work-in-progress. I’m also exploring a few other ideas for my next manuscript. Most of these ideas are tentative so don’t expect to hear much for now, but I’m hoping I’ll have plenty of sexy ideas to announce in 2018.


Goal #3: Continue Growing The Traffic And Audience Of This Blog

More than anything else, I’ll remember 2017 as the year the traffic for this website really took off. I’ve already mentioned it a couple of times. It started back in November and only continued to grow as the year went on. Much of this is thanks to me joining Reddit and sharing my work with that community. The response has been overwhelmingly positive for the most part.

I want to continue that trend into 2018. I want to keep growing the traffic volume for this blog. That effort is tied directly into the process I mentioned in previous goals to grow an audience. I want this site to be part of peoples’ regular internet diet. Whether it’s my Sexy Sunday Thoughts or my serious discussions on major issues, I want it to have a presence.

The only way I, or anyone on the internet, can achieve that is to continue providing awesome content. I’m not sure at the moment what form that content will take. I’m not even sure which topics I’ll explore. Some of that depends on what happens in the real world. Given all the major events that took place in 2017, I imagine I’ll have plenty to talk about.

I can’t guarantee all those discussions will be sexy, but I will try to make them relevant and meaningful. The internet is already full of digital trash. I’d like to not add to it.


Goal #4: Work On My Personal Life And Get Serious About Finding Love

This goal has little to do with my site and more to do with me, as a person. I’ve mentioned before how I’ve struggled to find a meaningful love in my life. It has been quite a while since I’ve had a steady girlfriend and that has already caused some awkward moments that give me cause for concern.

As always, I look at 2018 with a new hope that this year will be different. My situation is already evolving. As I write this, I’m settling into a new life in a new condominium. It’s my first condo that I own and inhabit myself. I’m hoping that’ll add to my overall appeal with the opposite sex and I intend to keep working on myself to find that special someone.

I get that this will likely be a bigger challenge than most. As is often the case in matters of love, you can’t just expect to bump into the love of your life and let made-for-TV Disney movie take it from there. You have to actually work at being in situations where the one you love will find you. Whether that’s my new neighborhood or the New York City Comic Con, I hope to find that someone this year.


Goal #5: Intensify My Workout And Emphasize More Body Building

This is another personal effort that has little relation to this website or my writing, but part of understanding sex appeal involved enhancing your own. I’ve recounted how I initially got into shape years ago when I effectively shamed myself into going to the gym. I intend to continue that effort in 2018.

However, I’d like to step it up a bit. My new condominium actually has an on-site gym, something I haven’t had before. I’m hoping that this will provide new opportunities and fewer excuses to further improve my health and my sex appeal. Whether it’s with more body building or better athletic training, I want to make that effort.

It’s not going to be easy, but that’s exactly why it’s worth doing. In a sense, this goal feeds into all the others. If I’m going to continue writing about sexy topics and producing sexy novels, I might as well try to be sexy myself. Going to the gym more, sweating it out, and becoming the kind of man I hope women will want to love can only help make 2018 a better, sexier year.

Leave a comment

Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights, sexuality

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Spiked Eggnog Edition

I love the holidays. I love everything about them. I always have, from my playful childhood to my awkward teenage years to my sexier adult years. From the presents to the decorations to the constant debate over whether “Die Hardqualifies as a Christmas movie, there’s so much about the holidays to love.

One aspect of the holidays that didn’t really appeal to me until later in life involved eggnog. Honestly, I thought the stuff looked disgusting, as a kid. Then again, I also thought coffee looked disgusting and now my coffee maker is basically my morning shrine. In that sense, I’m not too surprised that I developed a taste for it, especially after I found out you could spike it with whiskey.

It’s especially tasty after that first blast of winter weather, which came earlier than I expected/hoped this year. As I write this, it’s colder than Ann Coulter’s soul outside. For someone who enjoys sleeping naked, that’s kind of a problem and eggnog spiked with a little whiskey goes a long way towards keeping me warm.

Sure, it does other things too and yes, those things are also enjoyable in their own right. They’re just that much more enjoyable when it doubles as a practical method of staying warm. I know eggnog, especially the spiked variety, isn’t for everyone. For those who see it as a legitimate way of staying warm during the holidays, this week’s edition of my “Sexy Sunday Thoughts” is for you.


“It’s both ironic and fitting that men learn often learn the hardest lessons because of or in spite of erections.” 


“Most children weren’t effected by cartoon violence growing up, but those that were should probably stay away from porn.”


“When you think about it, exercise is an investment and more sex is the dividend payment.” 


“Eating and masturbating don’t need to be taught, but like table manners, a little etiquette makes a difference.”


“Having multiple techniques in foreplay is like having a good vocabulary. It’ll help you navigate certain situations in a more productive manner.”


“The fact that an average-looking woman can get sex easier than a moderately attractive man is a testament to the horniness disparity between genders.”


“A lack of options in sex can inspire/require a more robust imagination.”


I hope this helps keep everyone a little warmer and makes the alcohol-laced eggnog taste a little sweeter. There are certain seasonal drinks that are special because we save them for one particular part of the year. When it’s freezing cold outside and you want to curl up with a sexy novel under your Christmas tree, a stiff drink and a light buzz goes a long way to keeping you warm, among other things.

Leave a comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

A Piece Of Furniture (Specifically) Designed For Sex?

Every so often, in between writing sexy novels and sharing sexy thoughts, I come up with ideas that I’m not sure what to do with. I don’t know whether or not I can turn them into novels. I can’t really relate them to more serious issues, like religious extremism or sex robots. However, they’re ideas I just can’t seem to forget or throw away.

This is is one of those ideas that just kind of came to me when I was taking a shower. Now, I don’t deny that a lot of great ideas come to me in the shower. I’m naked, dripping wet, and feeling sexy as hell. That usually does wonders for my mind. This, however, kind of came from nowhere and it’s best summed up in one question.

Is there a piece of furniture specifically designed for sex and if so, what would it look like?

This isn’t an exercise in caveman logic or some kinky thought experiment. This is an honest question about the fundamentals of sex. When it comes to kinky ideas, be it sexy role playing or sexy Halloween costumes, we humans can be astonishingly creative. Just look up something called “Furries” and be prepared to clear your browser history.

When it comes to simple pragmatics, though, we kind of have a blind spot. We tend to give so much thought to the kink that we overlook the basics. Now, I’m not saying that’s wrong or misguided in any way. It’s because people give so much thought to kinky stuff that I have a potential audience for my novels. In this case, though, I think we can stand to be a little practical.

When most people think about the furniture people have sex on, they usually think of a bed. That’s the most basic and common site for sexy time, be it romance or a one-night stand. It more than does the job, but let’s not miss the trees from the forest here. A bed, as a piece of furniture, wasn’t designed specifically for sex. It was designed for sleeping. I’ll give everyone a moment to stop rolling their eyes.

Think about the rest of the common furniture we use. From recliners to coffee tables, they’re all designed with a specific purpose in mind. Granted, that doesn’t stop people from having sex on them. The basic rule of thumb is that if it’s physically possible for two people to have sex on a piece of furniture, they have or they will at some point. That’s just the power and breadth of human ingenuity/horniness.

That leads me to wonder, though. Has a piece of furniture ever been designed specifically for the purpose of sex? If not, what sort of features would that piece of furniture have? It’s one of those overly-obvious ideas that has exceedingly sexy implications.

Now, I get that there are some kinds of furniture with distinctly sexy twists. I also get there are some beds that accommodate sex more than others. However, for this kind of furniture, I’m talking about something that is designed specifically to maximize sex.

Since I’m not an artist or an engineer, I can’t provide detailed schematics. If I could, then I’d have patented this sexy idea long ago and sold it on “Shark Tank.” I’m not saying the idea would’ve made me a millionaire. I’m just saying it would’ve raised a few eyebrows for all the right reasons.

That said, I can imagine a few important features for a piece of furniture like that. It’s one instance where being an erotica/romance writer gives me an edge, of sorts. My novels are filled with situations about people finding creative ways to have sexy, make love, and everything in between. I’ve already thought this partially through without knowing it.

With that in mind, here are few of the key features of this sexy piece of furniture that I think should be included. I admit the need for such features varies between couples. Everyone makes love in their own unique way. Ideally, this piece of furniture will help maximize every one of those ways so here we go.

  • It is about the size of a small sofa with dimensions specifically designed to accommodate and support two people

  • It has a slight incline, which ensures maximum leverage and visibility between partners

  • It doesn’t have a handrail or anything on the sides, but there are strategically-located gripping areas so that partners can maintain a certain level of balance during sex

  • The surface must be smooth and soft, ensuring that naked or partially-clothed bodies can move effortlessly along its surface without uncomfortable chafing

  • The base must be wide and sturdy in order to accommodate high amounts of physical exertion

  • The surface must be easy to clean and/or replace in order to minimize the stains caused by various sexual fluids

  • The entire unit must be light and easy to move from room to room

  • The unit must also be customizable for people of different body shapes, preferences, and physical capabilities

I know some of these details are either common sense or overly general. That’s the point, though. The furniture I’m describing here is all about pragmatics. It’s designed specifically for sex, lovemaking, and everything in between. It’s meant to accommodate one-night stands, quickies, and intimate lovemaking that goes on for hours. It’s not something you fall asleep on. It’s something you have sex on.

I imagine this description conjures all sorts of different images in peoples’ minds. I don’t claim that my ideas of sexy furniture are the same as anyone else’s. I also don’t claim that I would use this piece of furniture the same way as someone else. The key here is both pragmatics and flexibility. Put them together and you’ve got something that makes a great thing even better.

Image result for sexy look gif

Again, this is just my overly-kinky idea. I’m sure plenty of other people who are much smarter and more capable than I am have other concepts for sexy furniture. If so, please share those ideas with me. I’d love to turn this into a sexy debate, of sorts. What exactly would the perfect piece of sex-enhancing furniture look like? It’s hard to say, but it’s fun to think about.

Leave a comment

Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: The Chilly Nipple Edition

Let’s not beat around the bush or snicker at the other connotations that “beating around the bush” implies. It’s cold outside. It’s colder than a penguins nut-sack. This past week, another polar vortex descended over the good old USA, ensuring heavy clothing and pert nipples all over the country, except for the lucky shits in south Florida.

I’m not a fan of the cold. I’d much rather be in a climate where I don’t have to wear pants around the house and where there’s a good chance of me seeing women in bikinis. Unfortunately, my erotica/romance career hasn’t been successful enough to afford me such a luxury. Make no mistake. As soon as I strike it rich as a writer, I’m moving to Florida where I can see sexy bikinis all year around.

Until then, though, I’m left to keep warm in my own way. Sometimes that involves a glass of hot cocoa. Sometimes that involves a glass of whiskey. Sometimes that involves getting naked, curling up under multiple sheets, and reading the sexiest, smuttiest, most haplessly romantic story I can. It works even better than you think.

So as many of us settle in for a cold, bitter winter, I’d like to help everybody warm up with another rendition of my “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.” You may still need a few extra blankets. You still may need some hot cocoa and whiskey. At the very least, I’ll make damn sure to get the blood flowing for men and women alike in all the right ways. Enjoy!

“From a purely practical perspective, having a skilled tongue counts as an effective form of contraception.”

Think about it, but try not to overthink it unless you have a spare set of pants. Contraception, as an industry, is still controversial. Even without the aid of Big Pharma, there are skills you can employ to get the desired result.

“To those with a serious foot fetish, walking into a shoe store is like walking into a Victoria’s Secret.”

I don’t deny it. There are those who find feet every bit as sexy as a pair of perfectly round tits. I have nothing but respect for those people. However, I can’t help but wonder how awkward it must be going into a shoe store.

“Injuries sustained during sex are either a point of pride or a point of embarrassment with nothing in between.”

This is one of those inescapable either/or situations. If you strain a muscle giving your partner multiple orgasms, you’re going to wear that with a badge of honor. If you break your arm trying to give someone a reach-around, you’ll probably take that to your grave.

“The necessary skills for a mechanic and a gynecologist are remarkably similar.”

This one doesn’t require much thought. Both specializes require skilled hands, an understanding of fluid dynamics, and an ability to understand specialized hardware. Remember that next time a mechanic is giving your car a tune-up.

“The sight of a woman masturbating turns most men on. The sight of a man masturbating turns most men off. This may just be nature’s way of telling us not to waste perfectly good horniness.”

Nature may have a dirty mind at times, but it’s is also a pragmatist at heart. It abhors overly wasteful activities. Put a masturbating man and a masturbating woman in the same room and chances are nature will find a way to make that horniness productive.

“Men want women to love like an angel and fuck like a whore. Women want men to love like a knight and fuck like an outlaw. Is it possible to meet each other halfway?”

That’s an honest question. Men and women have all sorts of twisted, sometimes self-contradicting expectations from their partners. There should be a healthy medium, but we don’t seem inclined to find it.

“These days, getting married is just a way to have sex with someone without government or religious types bugging you about it.”

When you think about it, the repressive forces of religion and government’s best weapon against sexual immorality in a secular society is trolling. They’ll annoy people who just want to fuck and make love until they agree to their legal/holy rituals. Unfortunately, it works too damn well.

“Chastity belts would never work on men because men are way too willing to take stupid, extreme risks to get out of a situation.”

This may just be my personal bias as a man, but in my experience, men just go to way more ridiculous lengths then women in a tough situation. They’re not always smart. They’re sometimes downright disturbing. As a result, something like a chastity belt for men probably wouldn’t work in the long run.

That’s it for now. Hope this helped everybody warm up!

2 Comments

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Easing Holiday Stress Edition

When you’re trying to build a career out of telling sexy, romantic stories, you tend to think a lot of sexy thoughts. It’s part of the job description. To tell sexy love stories, you need to think sexy. To think otherwise would be like baking a cake while you’re not hungry. It helps to be vested in your work is what I’m saying.

My efforts, and all the sexy thoughts that come with it, are finally starting to bear fruit. Beyond my self-publishing endeavors, I’m finally getting the attention of a few small-time publishers. One book, “Embers of Eros,” is set for release later this month. The other, “Passion Relapse,” is poised for release in 2017.

If all goes well, these sexy thoughts may actually help me pay the bills one day. That day is still a ways off, but I won’t let that keep me from thinking about sexy things that will hopefully inspire more sexy stories. There’s always a market for sexiness. It’s one of the few recession-proof markets that doesn’t involve alcohol and I hope to carve my place in it.

As part of that effort, I want to keep sharing some of these sexy thoughts with the world. So long as I have sexy thoughts to share, I’ll keep sharing them through what I guess is my new weekly column, Jack Fisher’s “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.”

After a long week, we all need to think about something less stressful or overwhelming. The holidays make it even more challenging. There are gifts to buy, presents to wrap, decorations to hang, and eggnog to drink. I get it. The holidays are stressful. So in the spirit of the holidays, let these sexy thoughts help ease the tension.

“When we call someone a dick or a pussy, it’s an insult. But when that same person actually uses their dick or their pussy properly, it’s a point of pride.”

I’ve always found this kind of odd, using genitals to insult people. We love our genitals. We take pride in how they look and how we use them. So why use them as insults?

“Sex sells, but only a handful of people can get away with charging a premium.”

Let’s face it, not every woman looks like Kate Upton and not every man looks like Brad Pitt. I think that slogan needs to be revised. Sex does indeed sell, but only to a point. Seeing Jonah Hill drink a Pepsi isn’t going to make too many people horny enough to change their drinking habits.

“Cult leaders tend to be extremely horny, extremely jealous, and extremely reluctant to pay taxes. They’re basically every male slacker’s dream job.”

I’ve noticed that charismatic cult leaders often convince beautiful women, and even a few men, that salvation can be achieved through his penis in some form or another. Is it shady? Yes, it most definitely is. Then again, when you make sex a holy sacrament, it does cut down on the small talk so damn it if it isn’t uncomfortably practical.

“Being a good multi-tasker should be a prerequisite for seeking a three-way.”

This applies to both genders. It’s just common courtesy. If you’re going to get more people involved in your love life, at least make sure you can dedicate the necessary energy to sharing the joy.

“Orgasms are one of the few bodily functions that have been seen as both a disease and a cure.”

It’s no secret anymore. Orgasms have many wonderful health benefits. It’s the best medicine you can get without a prescription. Even so, there are certain conditions where orgasms can become a problem and the actions of uptight authority figures certainly doesn’t help.

“Words can hurt, but words can also make us horny so it balances out.”

Words have a great deal of power. Like most things in this complicated and imperfect world, it’s a matter of how you use them. Some use them to be assholes. Some use them to tell sex, steamy stories. I think I’ve made clear which one I prefer.

“The sexier a drug makes us feel, the less we care about the side-effects.”

We’ll tolerate all sorts of bizarre side-effects from the endless cocktail of drugs that flood the modern world, but if those side-effects include more erections and orgasms, then that tolerance grows considerably. We don’t care if it gives us seizures or turns our tongue black. If it helps us fuck like porn stars on crack, we’ll find a way to endure.

“The heroes and villains of every story either have too much sex or not enough. Is there no room for a healthy middle ground?”

As a comic book fan, I find this somewhat troubling. On one hand, we have Wolverine and James Bond, who get more ass than a toilet seat at Taco Bell. On the other, we have Captain America and Superman, who barely get any ass at all. I think there’s room for balance. Then again, if everyone got enough sex, there wouldn’t be many villains to begin with, would there?

“If you add the words ‘while masturbating’ to the end of every feat, it makes it all the more impressive.”

Go on. Try it! Go to any news feed. Look up any article about someone who did something amazing. Then, tack on those two extra words and let your dirty imagination run wild.

Hope this warms everyone up. Hope it gives everyone some sexy thoughts to think about. I’ll keep my dirty mind active for your sexy entertainment. It’s what I do.

3 Comments

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Sexy Sunday Thoughts (And Staying Warm)

It’s been more than a week since Thanksgiving. I take it everyone has had sufficient time to digest their meal, pick at the leftovers, and hate themselves for the weight they gained. To those who still feel bloated, I say cheer up! You’ll feel better just in time for Christmas. Then you’ll get to feel bloated all over again, but you’ll get presents this time. That should help you hate yourself a little less.

It’s amazing. We’ve made it to the last month of 2016. What an eventful/crazy/please-God-let-it-be-over year it has been. Stephen King, J R. R. Tolken, Shakespeare, and Ernest Hemmingway could collaborate on an entire series of novels and not do justice to the sheer insanity we’ve had this year. They’d probably quit and/or throw up in disgust halfway through and nobody would blame them.

I won’t harp on the details. I’d rather look forward to making this last month of 2016 a bit less insane. The holidays are here. I’ve got my Christmas tree up. I see decorations, pretty lights, and cheap eggnog everywhere I turn. It’s a wonderful time of year, one that gives us all a chance to end the year on a high note.

I’m certainly ready for the holidays. I’m entering the final month of this year on a bit of an upswing. My book, “Passion Relapse,” is in the works with my new publisher. I just finished a draft for another manuscript. I’ve got a long list of sexy stories to develop on my plate. I like to think I’m making the most of this crazy year and feeling sexy as hell while doing it.

I can’t undo any of the craziness that 2016 has given us. I can’t do much to allay the fears of those who dread 2017 just as much. I can only continue to fill the world with my eccentric, sexy, and colorful musings in hopes they’ll brighten someone else’s day.

That brings me to yet another addition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts. I’m trying to make it a weekly column that everyone can look forward to on this blog. Had a long week? Feeling tired, burned out, and run down? Say no more because I’m here to help!

So sit back, relax, hug your lover, hug a friend, and ditch the clothes. Let yourself feel content and free as I share with you the crazy sexy musings that fill my head on a Sunday morning in December.

“We build a holiday around a woman who gave birth without having sex, but we still celebrate when we or our friends give birth with sex. Am I missing something here?”

I’ve always wondered about that. The Virgin Mary is so revered, but we also revere those who can get laid and give birth. So which is it? Which is more worthy of such reverence?

“A cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter day is like an orgasm in liquid form.”

Staying warm in the winter is a challenge. With hot chocolate, marshmallows, and a little nutmeg, it’s be one of those fun challenges we can enjoy and we don’t even have to take our pants off.

“Anyone who says it’s better than sex might just be doing it wrong.”

I’m not saying it’s impossible for something to be better than sex. I’m just saying that some may have a skewed perspective.

“Large breasts and soft pillows offer a similar level of comfort. Coincidence? I think not.”

Large breasts have many functions. They are among the most beautifully functional structures in nature. What other body part can arouse us and calm us so effectively?

“Does sex really have a smell? Or is it just our other senses conspiring against us to keep us horny?”

I’ve often heard people claim that something or someone smells like sex. I’m not sure sex has a specific scent, but I am sure our bodies will use any excuse to make and keep us horny.

“A fat wallet is to a man what breast implants are to a woman.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. There’s no such thing as an unsexy rich man.

“The only difference between porno and action movies is that porno exchanges violence for sex.”

This is something that does bug me to some extent, sex being put on the same level as violence. When it comes to shooting someone or giving them an orgasm, I don’t think it’s a fair comparison.

“When you think about it, mutual oral sex between partners is an extremely enhanced hug.”

As a hugger by nature, I think there’s a spectrum of sorts when it comes to sharing intimacy. Mutual oral sex, namely that of the 69 position that Playboy loved to describe, is right in the middle.

That’s it for this week’s edition of sexy Sunday thoughts. Hope this helped warm you up, made you horny, or put you in the holiday spirit. If it ends up doing all three, then consider it a bonus.

1 Comment

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts