Tag Archives: sexy

The world a swirling shit storm. There’s just no other way to say it. We’re in the midst a global pandemic. Society as we knew it has shut down. The economy has fallen apart. Life has become a painfully mundane waiting game. There’s a storm raging, but most of us can’t do anything to make it go away faster.

As bad as it is, there are heroes in this world. As I write this, and as you read this, they are working tirelessly to confront this pandemic and care for its victims. They’re the doctors, nurses, scientists, and various health care workers who are on the front lines, literally and figuratively. The superheroes in comics and movies may do amazing things, but what these people are doing in the real world is beyond extraordinary.

There’s not much I can say that hasn’t already been said. These people are more than heroes. Many of them are going into a situation they know puts them at risk. They’re dealing with people who are sick, dying, and vulnerable. Most of us can barely handle being stuck at home, let alone confronting life and death situations every day.

There’s a lot we can do to show our appreciation to the health care workers navigating this crisis. There are places to donate. That always helps. If you happen to know someone in that field, see if there’s something extra you can do. That helps too. For now, the best I can offer is a special brand of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. It’s not much, but it’s how I like to show my appreciation.

“For a dirty mind the line between disgust and intrigue is often blurred.”

“Trust is the invisible lubricant that makes sexy kinks possible.”

“Morning wood was the first true pop-up ad.”

“True love is only as true as a couples’ worst kept secret.”

“Feelings evoked by foreplay are the exact opposite of those evoked by traffic jams.”

“Love doesn’t make you foolish, but it forces you to compromise with many foolish impulses.”

“You’re only as kinky as your gag reflex allows.”

To all the health care workers out there, from the surgeons to the nurses to the receptionist, you are a special kind of sexy. Thank you for everything that you do. Thank you for being there on the front lines to save lives, as only you can. That kind of sexiness knows no equal.

For football fans, the NFL Draft is the annual celebration of hope for the teams that earned a high draft pick. By that, I mean they were terrible the previous year and are badly in need of some fresh talent. The NFL Draft gives them that opportunity. Sometimes, one pick can be the difference between another losing season and a slew of championship. Just ask the New England Patriots.

This year, however, the NFL Draft is set to have a different impact. Usually, the draft is mostly just a glorified news feed, detailing the picks for various teams. Only major football fans tune in or pay attention. That’s often because this is usually the time baseball, basketball, and hockey are playing relevant games.

These are not usual times, unfortunately. Thanks to a global pandemic, we are in the midst of the greatest dearth of sports in decades.

Despite this crisis, the NFL has made clear they are going forward with the draft. Granted, it won’t be the same massive party that they had last year in Nashville. It’s going to happen primarily in a TV studio with many players streaming their reaction from various locations. It’s not going to have much fanfare, but it’s the first major sporting event we’ve had in over a month.

As a lifelong football fan, I’ve always been fond of the draft. This year, I’m just happy to see anything sports related that isn’t a replay of some old game. The NFL Draft is a celebrated event because it brings hope to millions of fans. Hope is something we need a lot more of right now. These Sexy Sunday Thoughts are my way of supplementing it. Enjoy!

“Porn stars are business savvy in that they’ve monetized their genitals.”

“The difference between being adventures and kinky in the bedroom is in which body parts you’re willing to strain.”

“Sleeping with an asshole is an indirect form of masochism.”

“Building love on a foundation of lies is like having sex on a bed of broken glass.”

“Women should be inherently skeptical of a man who can’t hide his porn stash very well.”

“Someone who works hard and plays hard knows how to make love just hard enough.”

“Loneliness is your genitals reminding you that you’re not getting laid.”

I miss sports. I cannot overstate that enough. As much as I love the NFL Draft, I wish there was more to follow at the moment. Since that’s not likely to change anytime soon, I’ll be sure to watch this years draft with a bit more scrutiny than I have before. It’s not much, but during a crisis, I’ll gladly take it.

I didn’t used to enjoy exercise. At one point, my least favorite activity in school was running and given how miserable I was at school for most of my life, that’s saying something. Then, as I got older and more health conscious, running became an integral part of my life. I’m at a point now where it feels weird when I don’t run in some form.

Whether it’s on a treadmill or on the trails throughout my neighborhood, I love to run. It’s not just good for my health. It gets my heart racing, my brain going, and my juices flowing. Yes, I understand that has some sexual connotations. Did you honestly expect anything less from me?

It’s only natural. Running makes me all hot and sweaty. There are times when I come in from a run and I’m just dripping with sweat. I may not smell great, but I feel downright sexy. After burning all those calories, it’s like I just made love to my muscles. It’s a great feeling and with the weather finally warming up, I can run without a shirt on to show off that sexiness. Again, you expect anything less from me?

I hope that when I meet the love of my life, she’ll go running with me. One day, I hope we can go on a long run together, get back, shed our sexy clothes, and share a nice shower together. I hope I find that woman one day. Until then, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help inspire all those other runners out there. Enjoy!

“The joy your child gives their parents is the echo of the orgasm that made them.”

“Learning about romance through chick flicks is as unhealthy as learning about sex through porn.”

“Trying to be monogamous with a slut is like trying to interrogate a pathological liar.”

“Friends with benefits are the take-home tests of relationships.”

“Imagine how much trust and/or bravery someone must have to allow a cannibal to give them oral sex.”

“Can you honestly believe someone who says they accidentally watched porn?”

“True love is never having to explain why you have so much lube in your dresser drawer.”

The spring and summer are the best seasons for running. The days are long, the heat rolls in, and the sweat feels earned. I try to take full advantage of it and any trail nearby. I encourage everyone else to give it a try. If a guy like me can grow to love running, then anyone can. That, I’m sure of.

Today is Easter Sunday. However, I imagine a lot of people either didn’t know, forgot about it, or just don’t have the energy to care. I completely understand. Even as someone who has a special appreciation of Easter, I know that nobody is in a very celebratory mood right now. When there’s a global pandemic ravaging the world, you just can’t get into the spirit of any holiday.

It’s so bad right now that you can’t even get together for a nice Easter dinner. At best, you can video chat with them while you’re eating leftovers. It’s not the same, but I would argue it’s better than nothing. I would also argue that Easter is still worth celebrating. It may not be the flashiest holiday, but it has its place.

It also helps that Easter has some sexy origins. Before it became entwined with Christian traditions, it was associated with pagan fertility rituals. Like it or not, you can’t have fertility without a little sex appeal. As someone who appreciates both sex appeal and warmer spring weather, I’m all for celebrating that sort of thing.

Perhaps this is one Easter in which those lucky enough to be quarantined with their lovers can tap into that sexy past. You’re already stuck at home. You can’t have a family gathering. Why not use it as a chance to share a little sexy time? Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get you in that sexy Easter spirit. Enjoy!

“Finding pubic hair in your food is disgusting, but the story of how it got there can be fascinating.” 

“Catching your parents having sex is only as embarrassing as the kinks they’re exercising at the time.”

“Puberty is cruel to teenagers in that it makes them feel ugly and horny at the same time.”

“A stripper’s permanence is directly proportional to how it effects an audience’s genitals.”

“For a man, having a large penis is like having a great credit score.”

“Working hard will help you get laid, but working smart will help you find the love of your life.”

“Behind every romantic gesture are some incredibly lurid thoughts.”

This year has already cost us a great many things, from major sports to holidays. It’s already a lost year, due to the pandemic. Chances are this will be the most forgettable Easter we’ll have. However, if you have to chance to use the isolation as a means of sharing some sexy time, then it can still be memorable for a much better reason.

It’s officially spring. Traditionally, it’s the time of year when people finally emerge from months of staying indoors, dressing in layers, and scraping ice of windshields. It’s also the traditional time when love is in the air and lover’s embrace one another in the same way they embrace warmer weather. It may be corny, but for the romantic among us, it’s a beautiful thing.

Unfortunately, traditions of all kinds have been upended in recent weeks. Thanks to a global pandemic that has killed the mood for many, we’ve already lost major traditions in sports, holidays, and festivals. Chances are we’ll lose a lot more before all is said and done. As a romantic, I take no pleasure in conceding that.

However, I don’t believe in letting fear and dire news kill the spirit of the season. Pandemic or not, warmer weather and longer days have arrived. We can finally put away the heavy coats and the snow shovels. Even if we can’t go to the beach, we can still enjoy the luxury of wearing less clothing around the house and our lover. It may not take the place of other spring traditions, but it’s better than nothing.

These trying times will eventually pass. Eventually, our collective isolation will end, toilet paper will be on sale again, and people won’t be afraid to shake hands. Until then, let’s welcome the spring and the seasonal passions they inspire. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get you in the spirit. Enjoy!

“Necessity may be the mother of invention, but the desire to get laid is a close relative.”

“A nice guy and a nice girl can still have the naughtiest sex lives.”

“To some extent, saving the human race requires helping people get laid.”

“The first act of drunk sex was probably messier than anyone expected.”

“If what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, then it should follow that what makes you lonelier makes you hornier.”

“Parents want what’s best for their kids, but seem to hesitate when it comes to their sex lives.”

“To some extent, masturbation is general maintenance for our genitals.”

There’s no way around it. This spring will be one to remember for all the wrong reasons. Hopefully, it’s a lesson for how bad things can get and how much we can endure. No matter how bad it gets, we can’t let it temper our sense of romance. Better times are coming. Until then, we should to make the most of these difficult times.