It’s been a long year. I don’t think that’s a controversial statement at this point. A year as objectively awful as 2020 has a tendency to drag. It’s still not over, so there’s a distinct possibility that it could get even worse. As scary as that prospect sounds, there are still some things we should still embrace, despite the all-around horrors of 2020.
The fact that we made it to November is an accomplishment in and of itself. Given the events of all the previous months, anything involving health definitely deserves greater emphasis. As it just so happens, the annual Movember events that help raise awareness of men’s health is perfectly in line with that effort.
I know men’s health issues tend to get less attention than others. That doesn’t make them any less important. Men are people too. Men also suffer serious health issues that disproportionately impact them, such as prostate cancer. The Movember foundation helps raise money and awareness for these issues.
In addition to donating money, men also participate by growing a mustache or facial hair. I’ve shared my own personal story with that effort and I can attest to the manliness this brings out in others. I can also attest that there’s some serious sex appeal to manly facial hair. The sexiness of Ron Swanson is proof enough of that.
So, in the spirit of Movember, I dedicate these Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the cause of men’s health. Once you’ve enjoyed the overall sexiness, please consider donating to the Movember foundation. Men’s health, and health in general, has never been more important. It won’t undo how bad this year has been, but it will help set up a better future for men and boys alike.
“An unzipped fly in a man sends a very different message than a short skirt on a woman.”
“Makeup sex was likely the first attempt at conflict resolution.”
“A woman with a backup vibrator knows the benefits and value of being proactive.”
“A date without romance is just a conspiracy to get laid.”
“On some levels, the nature of orgasms make hate sex inherently hypocritical.”
“Taking your date to church is like wearing a bikini in a nudist colony.”
“A tease is just someone who is willing to lie to your face and your genitals.”
Women are attracted to bad boy. Men are attracted to bad girls, although it’s much more understated. It’s a common mantra, but one I think is incomplete. To me, there’s a difference between being a bad boy/bad girl and a rebel. In terms of romance and sex appeal, I think the rebel has the edge. I would even argue that’s the true source of the bad boy/bad girl sex appeal.
A bad boy/bad girl just breaks the rules. They shun authority and deviate from existing social norms. Now, I don’t deny that can have sex appeal for some people. However, just breaking the rules because you don’t like them is hardly sex. A rebel will break rules too, but with more purpose and agency behind it.
I’ve known rebellious men and women. When they break the rules, they have a reason for it and they don’t hide it. They’re not just looking for chaos and trouble. They want to chart their own path. They want to live their own life. That, in my opinion, shows a level of strength and self-awareness that warrants sex appeal. Men and women alike can appreciate it.
It may not do it for you, but it should be easy to understand why so many others are smitten by it. It’s that special kind of sex appeal that I want to acknowledge with this round of my Sexy Sunday thoughts. Enjoy!
“In a healthy relationship, sharing your browser history is both an intimate and informative act.”
“Getting someone a thoughtful gift is the only universally accepted form of foreplay.”
“Confidence will get you laid, but arrogance will get you divorced.”
“Evolutionarily speaking, you have every possible incentive to regularly wash your genitals.”
“A lack of sexual education guarantees an abundance of awkward moments later in life.”
“As a general rule when it comes to lovemaking, don’t be too rough with any body part you’re eager to lick.”
“If life were a video game, then a one-night stand can be either a trap or a bonus level, depending on your score.”
It works for them. They meet, they fall in love, they get married, they have sex, and they have children. They go onto live predictable, but satisfying and respectable lives. There’s nothing wrong with that.
That sort of thing just doesn’t work for Dan and Cathy in the world of “Swing,” Top Cow Comic’s ambitiously sexy slice-of-life saga. Their story, and the many sexy details it entails, has offered many colorful insights into a world that actually exists outside the book. It also explores the life, love, and growth of two endearing characters as they navigate that world.
There are no superheroes in this story. There are no James Bonds or Pussy Galores, either. The world of “Swing” is a world that never attempts to break the laws of physics, psychology, or believability. Compared to the fanciful spectacles offered by other comics, it’s a breath of fresh air. It also helps that it’s sexy as hell.
The first two volumes of “Swing,” which I’ve reviewed and praised, set Cathy and Dan on this path to a sexy, swinging world. I’ve been following their story closely, watching these characters grow together through and not just in terms of romance and intimacy.
“Swing Volume 1” showed how they met, fell in love, had a family, and became interested in swinging.
“Swing Volume 2” showed how they entered this world, began exploring, struggled at first, and learned to embrace it. Now, “Swing Volume 3” provides us the next step in Dan and Cathy’s story as a couple involved in this lifestyle. It explores how they grow and mature. It’s not an entirely smooth process, but that’s part of what makes this entry of the story the best of the saga thus far.
Like its predecessors, “Swing Volume 3” picks up at a pivotal time in Dan and Cathy’s life. They’ve settled into the lifestyle. They’ve become a lot more comfortable with the unique dynamics of an open marriage. Writer, Matt Hawkins, makes every one of those dynamics both believable and rooted in real life examples.
Yes, there are real couples who engage in this lifestyle and it does work for them. I’ll give the puritanical crowd a moment to stop gasping. At the same time, that’s an important context to consider in appreciating the type of narrative that “Swing” has to offer.
It’s not entirely built entirely around sex scenes, innuendo, or the kind of shallow characters you often find in cheap softcore porn. A big part of the story is where this lifestyle takes Dan and Cathy, as a couple. It’s not all fun and sexy games. They have jobs, children, and career ambitions outside their sex life.
Dan is still trying to become a published author. Cathy is still building her career in the entertainment marketing industry. They also love their kids deeply and want to give them the best life two loving parents can give them. That element of the story is not glossed over, more so in “Swing Volume 3” than the previous two entries.
How does any couple balance that sort of thing? How does a story like that work without becoming too pornographic or too bland? Well, “Swing Volume 3” finds a way and the artwork of Yishan Li and Linda Sejic makes it a sight to behold every step of the way.
Both characters take major steps forward in their professional lives, as well as their sex lives. However, those steps don’t happen without some conflict along the way. In fact, much of Dan and Cathy’s growth in “Swing Volume 3” stem largely from those conflicts.
Some are small, as is often the case in any functional relationship. There are misunderstandings and miscommunications. There are also instances in which Dan or Cathy makes a choice that doesn’t sit well with the other. On the surface, it just seems melodramatic. However, the way it plays out feels real and genuine.
At every turn, Dan and Cathy make clear how much they love each other. They want nothing more than to make one another happy, both in and out of the bedroom. It’s a simple desire, but one prone to many complicated efforts.
Even though they’ve been involved in the world of swinging for a while now, there are still missteps and mishaps. The couple takes quite a few baby steps in the first few volumes, but “Swing Volume 3” is much more ambitious, both in terms of the sexy details and the emotional ramifications.
Whereas Cathy led the charge through much of the last volume, Dan is a lot more involved this time. I would argue he undergoes more maturation in “Swing Volume 3” than the previous two volumes combined. The details involve some spoilers, including some of the NSFW kind. Make no mistake, though. Both Dan and Cathy mature a great deal in this story and it’s a satisfying process, if that’s not too loaded a term.
For a story like “Swing,” which doesn’t rely on superpowers, superheroes, or supernatural forces, it’s important to come off as genuine. The story can’t work if the characters don’t feel real and believable. Otherwise, it has little depth beyond the sexy stuff.
The events of “Swing Volume 3” further affirms that genuine spirit for Dan and Cathy. The more they go through, the more real they seem. Nothing about the challenges and struggles they face feel like something that has no real-world parallels. It’s easy to relate to them. It’s even easier to root for them.
In essence, “Swing” is one of those rare erotica romance stories that strikes a perfect balance between erotica and romance. The sex positive spirit of the story ensures that one complements the other. Sex doesn’t define Dan and Cathy’s love for each other or vice versa. Their desire to explore this world is as sexy as it is romantic.
That dynamic has been a hallmark of the “Swing” series since it began, but “Swing Volume 3” really takes it to another level. Dan and Cathy are done with the baby steps. They’re diving deeper into this sexy world together.
That process will bring drama and a few consequences, as the cliff-hanger ending shows. That just makes these couple all the more likable. For that, I applaud Hawkins, Yi, Sejic, and Top Cow Comics for what they’ve achieved with “Swing Volume 3.” If I had to score it, I’d give it a solid 4.5 out of 5. It’s not perfect. Very few things in this world are. It’s still sweet and sexy to the utmost. In a year like this, we need that.
In case you’re in another time zone or just need it belabored, I’ll say it again.
Happy Halloween!
Yes, I know Halloween was yesterday.
Yes, I know that some of us are still recovering from a night of eating too much candy and pumpkin flavored ale.
Yes, I also know that 2020 has done plenty to make Halloween extra bittersweet this year.
No, I do not care. I still love Halloween all the same. I still say it’s worth celebrating. Even if you can’t go trick-or-treating or attend some spooky Halloween party, it’s a fun holiday for kids and adults alike. You may have to get extra creative this year, but it’s worth making the effort.
The spooky themes, slutty costumes, and excessive junk food gives something for everyone. If you can’t have fun with any of that, then you’re just being difficult. It doesn’t matter how much this year sucks. Don’t let it stop you from having fun.
Even though it was yesterday, find a way to draw out the fun. Have some more candy. Enjoy a nice pumpkin latte. Watch a few more horror movies. Put on your favorite slutty costume again. If you need a little inspiration, here’s my Halloween 2020 edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!
“Kidnapping someone with a bondage fetish is bound to be more awkward for the kidnappers at some point.”
“Can you say you’ve been completely honest with your kids if you won’t tell them how they were conceived?”
“Be a little suspicious of any man who gets an erection at a pet store or zoo.”
“Hard work pays off, but any work that gets you laid is a bonus.”
“Expecting your lover to satisfy you without telling them how is like whining about an election you didn’t vote in.”
“A horny man who mistakes hand sanitizer for lube will still do something that benefits their penis.”
“Insecurity is only ever sexy to those who are willing to exploit it.”
It’s getting to be that time of year again. Sadly, it has nothing to do with Halloween. I have a feeling that the ongoing global pandemic will temper/shatter all Halloween spirits this year. It has more to do with the shifting weather. Fall is already here in my part of the world. If you happen to live in a tropical climate that never gets cold, you probably don’t care. We also envy you. Don’t let that got to your head.
For the rest of us, it’s getting cold. A few nights ago marked the coldest night in my area since February. I had to actually get an extra blanket. I also imagine that for the lovers out there lucky enough to share a bed, it was the first night when you valued one another’s body heat.
It’s an understated, but still very sensual aspect to love. Body heat is one of those things that’s both sexy and pragmatic. On cold nights, like the ones we’re bound to face, we cherish it for some added warmth. If you happen to have a crappy heater, it’s even more valuable. The added sexy stuff that goes with it is just a nice bonus.
It’s sexy and it helps save money. That’s as much a win-win as we’re ever going to get these days. Where I live, it’s already shaping up to be a much worse winter than last year. If I can’t find a lover to keep me warm, I’ll have to stick with some extra blankets and these Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!
“Imagine and appreciate how much trust it takes to let someone else shave your pubic hair.”
“Melodrama is the political debate between your heart and your genitals.”
“Freedom allows us to explore our kinks while repression forces us to make new ones.”
“A big part of loving someone is aligning when and how you get horny.”
“There’s a good chance you’ll be a little uncomfortable with the type and quantity of porn your lover has consumed.”
“Going to church and getting laid is a greater accomplishment than going to a club and getting laid.”
“You can’t protest overpopulation without protesting orgasms to some extent.”
If you’re a romantic and you don’t like weddings, then you’re sending mixed messages. I admit that when I was a kid, I didn’t care for weddings that much. In my defense, that was before I developed my fondness for romance, parties, and an open bar.
Now, as I’ve gotten older and come to appreciate all those things, I have a strong appreciation for weddings and the parties they inspire.
The world may feel like a never-ending disaster in a year like this. Joyous moments and events have been few and far between. In that sense, a beautiful wedding is a perfect counterbalance. We celebrate a beautiful moment, a culmination of a beautiful love. I honestly can’t think of a better way to counter the awfulness of this past year.
For those who are delaying their wedding to next year, I completely understand. To those hoping to still have their wedding this year, I say go for it! It’s worth doing. Love is always worth it. To that end, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help motivate you. Enjoy!
“A man who loves tacos should be more inclined to love oral sex.”
“Great sex won’t make you fall in love, but you’ll be more willing to make the effort.”
“Catching your lover masturbating may just mean you’re libidos are out of sync.”
“Beauty will only take you so far if you’re a lazy lover.”
“Hate is dangerous, but hate sex is an accomplishment.”
“Rough sex is the only time when profanity can be instructive.”
“A man bragging about the size of his dick was likely the first case of false advertising.”
When you write a lot about sex robots and sex dolls, like I do, you tend to attract attention. It’s not always the fun kind of attention, but it’s still attention and I welcome it. I’ve been discussing this topic, and writing sexy short stories about it, long enough to make clear that my interest is serious. It really pays off when you connect with others who are equally serious.
That happened recently when some people from an actual sex doll brothel in Europe saw some of my articles. One of their representatives actually reached out to me and we organized a Skype call. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but I was genuinely curious. It’s one thing to write about sex dolls and sex robots. It’s quite another to get actual insight from someone working in that field.
I’m grateful for the opportunity because the discussion we had was incredibly revealing. For the record, and in the interest of full disclosure, the sex doll company in question is called Naughty Harbor. Before you look them up, please note that their website has plenty of NSFW content. They work with sex dolls. That should be a given.
They currently operate out of the Czech Republic. They have facilities for both the manufacturing of sex dolls and for operating a small sex doll brothel. They haven’t been in business for very long, but they have been on the front line of this emerging industry.
The individual I spoke to, whose name I won’t disclose out of respect for his privacy, works closely with the founder and the owner of Naughty Harbor. He shared a great deal of information on the basics of the industry, the people who use it, the challenges of operating in 2020, and the emerging trends. Among the many issues that came up, here are some key highlights.
Issue #1: The Taboos And Stigma Of Sex Dolls Still Very Strong
This was probably the largest and most pressing challenge for Naughty Harbor and companies like it. Like most things related to sex, there are a host of taboos about sex dolls. From the people to use them to the people who buy them to the people who develop genuine connections with them, the stigma surrounding them is still incredibly strong.
At the same time, the demand for companionship and sexual experience is also strong. That’s never going away, no matter how much taboo or stigma is heaped upon it. Just ask the Catholic Church. That’s what drives the sex doll industry. With sex doll brothels now starting to emerge, the taboo is starting to wane to some degree.
The individual from Naughty Harbor explained how big a deal privacy was for customers. Some wanted absolutely no face-time with anyone. They wanted what amounted to a no-contact experience. They just call ahead of time, have someone set up a room with a sex doll, and have all the transactions occur behind a computer screen with complete anonymity.
It’s not unlike the type of no-contact deliveries that have become so common during the ongoing pandemic. It’s not like walking into a legal brothel, standing in front of a bunch of sex workers, and doing business out in the open. Even in places with liberal sex work laws, like Europe, the desire for privacy is still critical.
That’s likely to remain the same as more sex doll brothels open up. However, this is also where our discussion brought up other key insights.
Issue #2: The Pandemic’s Effect On The Industry
Like any industry, the ongoing that same pandemic I mentioned earlier is affecting the sex doll industry. The representative said outright that there has been a noticeable uptick in interest and sales. That makes sense too. People who have been stuck at home for weeks on end are bound to get lonely. Even if you live in a place with legal sex work, a pandemic is kind of a mood killer.
These sex dolls are suddenly seen as both a viable option and one that’s safer. You can clean a sex doll. In fact, Naughty Harbor reported that they’ve developed a very diligent process for sanitizing their sex dolls. It’s at a point where these sex dolls, including the ones being used at the brothel, are cleaner than your hands are this very instant.
For those who’ve become very conscious of germs and disease, as most of us have been under the pandemic, this is key. It’s an element of control and assurance you can’t get with a flesh and blood sex worker. It’s not even something you can get with a typical partner. There’s value in that and it outweighs any stigma or taboo.
While I wasn’t privy to exact numbers, Naughty Harbor did indicate that business has been strong for sex doll brothels during the pandemic. They’re expected to remain strong, even after the pandemic passes. If anything, it has shown people that this industry can provide a legitimate sexual outlet and that can be very beneficial for people.
Issue #3: Research And Benefits
Another interesting issue that came up was the ongoing research surrounding the use of sex dolls. Naughty Harbor is playing an active role in that effort. According to the representative, both manufacturers and sex doll brothel owners are coordinating with researchers who are interested in this field.
Make no mistake. The interest is growing and not just because of the pandemic.
Even before people were isolating in the name of public health, research into the effects of loneliness were painting some pretty bleak conclusions. Considering that humans are a social species, which I’ve belabored before, this makes a lot of sense. Can sex dolls help with this?
Naughty Harbor believes that it can. Researchers are interested in just how much or how little help that a sex doll can provide. Even though they’re not alive, the mere facsimilia of human companionship is certain to have a tangible impact on someone’s psyche. The nature and extent of that impact remains unknown, but will be a key point of interest.
Between social isolation due to pandemics and the emerging concerns regarding the incel phenomenon, sex dolls could provide key points of interest. We’ll need that perspective, especially as sex dolls become more lifelike and eventually become sex robots.
Issue #4: They’re Getting More Lifelike
In addition to the social impact, we also talked quite a bit about the technology. The sex dolls of Naughty Harbor are quite lifelike, but you’d never mistake them for an actual person from afar. They’re still getting incredibly close, though. They’re just on the edge of that uncanny valley in which most sex dolls and sex robots operate at the moment.
The fact they still look artificial may be part of what fuels the taboo, but the technology is changing rapidly. The individual I spoke to says it’s getting both better and faster. Companies like Naughty Harbor are already using technology like 3D printing to both build and repair sex dolls. They’re also using better silicone blends that better mimic the feel of real human flesh.
They’re getting to a point where they can look like real people. They’re also at a point where they can be made to look exceedingly unreal for those with specific fantasies. That was something Naughty Harbor said is a growing trend. Those who seek the use of sex dolls don’t just want sex. They want an experience and they’re willing to pay for it.
Accommodating those fantasies is currently a niche market, but one that’s getting easier as the manufacturing processes are improving. It’s getting to a point where the only issue is scale, which is more a logistics challenge than a technical challenge.
Issue #5: They’re Getting Cheaper
Five years ago, if you wanted to buy a well-made sex doll, chance are you’d have to spend upwards of $5,000 to $7,000. There are used cars that cost less than that. That kind of cost is also a major barrier for those seeking an experience with a sex doll. It’s also helped keep the industry shrouded in taboo.
Today, that cost is not nearly as big a barrier as it once was. While many high-end sex dolls still cost thousands, many quality models now can be bought for less than $3,000. It’s less the cost of a used car and more the cost of a large appliance, like a refrigerator or washing machine. The models offered by Naughty Harbor range between $3,000 and $1,800.
That’s still not cheap, but it’s trending in a cheaper direction. In our conversation, we both agreed that once the price drops below $1,000, then the market will start to expand. I think there’s a psychological component to seeing something that costs less than four figures that makes it seem less daunting as a purchase. If you’re lonely, that may be a price you’re more willing to pay.
Like I said, the main issue now is scale. It’s hard to make a quality sex doll and charge a low price for it. Manufacturing is still quite labor intensive, especially for those who want to customize their dolls. That process will need refinement, but once that happens, it could become as easy and routine as ordering a pizza.
Issue #6: They’re Being Customized In Unexpected Ways
Another issue that came up, which I actually brought up, was the kind of customization that people are asking for. Naughty Harbor does offer customization options for their sex dolls, as most other companies doo. However, the customization requests haven’t been too extreme.
One common request is for dolls that look like ex-lovers. That is apparently more popular than those who want sex dolls resembling their favorite anime characters, which is a niche field in and of itself. That surprised me, but it probably shouldn’t. I can understand someone missing the physical intimacy once provided by an ex-lover, even if the relationship didn’t work.
It helps affirm that there’s a real emotional component to those who use sex dolls. Again, it’s not just about the sex or the sweet release that comes with it. There’s a deeper connection at play and it’s different than the release someone gets with a typical sex toy.
This led us to discuss whether anyone has requested a sex doll resembling a celebrity. At the moment, Naughty Harbor says that has not been a very common request, but they expect that to change. It’s only a matter of time before someone requests a sex doll that looks exactly like a popular Marvel, Disney, or DC Comics character.
If there’s money to be made, the industry will find a way. However, that will send it into some legally contested territory. While American sex doll manufacturers cannot make dolls out of real people, other countries don’t have those same restrictions. According to Naughty Harbor, the Czech Republic has no such laws on the books. I doubt that’ll remain true for long.
That brought us to the last issue that is sure to become prominent at some point.
Issue #7: The Legal Issues Are Just Beginning
At the moment, the laws in both Europe and the Americas designate sex dolls as sex toys. They’re basically classified as a far more elaborate version of a vibrator. For now, given their current place in the uncanny valley, that makes sense. The question is what happens when sex dolls become both more lifelike and more accessible to the general public.
The number of sex doll brothels popping up all over the world is growing. The industry as a whole is evolving. With that come some significant legal challenges, some of which have prevented some sex doll brothels from opening. Those challenges are likely to gain greater complications in the coming years.
Can you classify a sex doll brothel the same way you would a traditional brothel?
Can you make the act of essentially renting a sex toy illegal?
How do you even classify and regulate a service like producing sex dolls?
Those questions cannot go unanswered because there have already been some issues. One of the biggest involves the sale of sex dolls that resemble children. That’s an issue that Naughty Harbor acknowledged is a growing concern. At the moment, those kinds of sex dolls are illegal to make in many parts of the world, but there is an emerging black market for them, mostly out of Asia.
Like with any black market, there will be nefarious customers seeking nefarious providers for an illicit service. Naughty Harbor did say they work with the authorities on addressing this issue. At the same time, they too are trying to figure out the best way to deal with it. Like with many issues involving the sex industry, there’s always a chance that one particular effort could do more harm than good.
It’s a serious issue, but one that is making clear that sex dolls are here to stay. There is a demand for them and that’s not going away anytime soon. The law is very behind the curve right now. Naughty Harbor and I both agreed on that. At the same time, it may also be what’s driving the industry.
As concerns about sex work and human trafficking remain highly contentious, sex dolls might emerge as both a recourse and a complication. If the demand for human prostitution goes down while the demand for sex doll brothels goes up, then is that something the public and the politicians they vote for will accept?
Only time will tell. Naughty Harbor is just one of many companies in this emerging field. They’ll certainly have a part to play, especially as the industry matures and more research is conducted. Once it gets to a certain point, lawyers will get involved. That’s sure to complicate the industry, but after talking to Naughty Harbor, I’m fairly certain it cannot be stopped.
Once again, I’d like to thank Naughty Harbor for taking the time to speak with me about this issue. I hope to have more like them in the future. The sex doll industry is growing and evolving alongside other emerging technologies. It’s going to happen faster than most of us expect. Are we ready for it? That remains to be seen. I have my doubts, but I’ll certainly be keeping an eye on this issue. A pandemic may have tempered our collective libidos, but our desires will eventually return. Like it or not, sex dolls may be a larger part of the sexual landscape from here on out.
I know talking about the weather is so mundane, but in a year as awful as 2020, I think it’s oddly refreshing. Now, I’m not going to just wax poetic about how nice it is to go out on a sunny day, spend some time with friends, and have some fun with your lover, if you’re lucky enough to have one. That’s all well and good. For me, however, I’ve always found rainy days more relaxing.
I think it runs in my family. One of my father’s favorite things to do in the spring and summer was just sit out on the porch, drink a cold beer, and watch the rain fall. He said it relaxed him. I must have inherited that sentiment because it relaxes me too. In fact, I’ve come to appreciate the relaxing calm of a rainy morning. It just makes everything feel more peaceful.
When I had a girlfriend, it often inspired me to get a little more affectionate and playful. When you’re relaxed and content, you’re bound to let your sexy side show. That means when it’s rainy and dreary on any given morning, you can expect me to get extra romantic. On the off chance my future wife is reading this somewhere, I hope that gives her something to look forward to.
Now that the weather is getting colder and the days are getting shorter, a rainy day is bound to take on a different context. So long as that context involves cuddling up in a bed to stay warm, I’m all for it. Whether you find the weather sexy or not, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get the right currents flowing inside you. Enjoy!
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an orgasm a day keeps divorce lawyers unpaid.”
“Being honest in a relationship often means being blunt during sex.”
“To some extent, sexting depends on some people being susceptible to pop-up ads.”
“Being in love means not caring where your lover’s fingers and tongue have been.”
“Slut shaming is just an indirect form of orgasm envy.”
“Friends don’t let friends with benefits neglect said benefits.”
“Relationship drama often boils down to disagreeing on how to share your genitals.”
There’s a good chance that you’ve encountered someone who has a very strange kink. It’s probably not illegal, disgusting, or damaging. It’s just something that would make most people cringe if said out loud with a straight face. I won’t speculate on what that kink might be. I’ll just trust in the lurid imaginations of anyone reading this article to fill in the blanks.
With that in mind, I’d like to add another detail to that concept. Say you know this person’s kink. It rightly disgusts you. You believe it could be harmful to both the person and whoever they’re doing it with. However, you also know that they’ve never acted on this kink with anyone. On top of that, you know they’ll never act on it. Would you still trust them?
I know that last part is a bit of a stretch. We can never truly predict how anyone will act in the future. They could be the most disciplined person who ever lived, exercising restraint every day of their lives for years on end. They would only have to have one lapse to undermine others’ trust in them.
That’s why I’m framing it as a thought experiment. This is the sort of thing that just has no analog in the real world. It’s still important to contemplate because it can provide insights into who we are, who we trust, and how we conduct ourselves as a society.
Now, I want to throw sex robots into the mix. I promise there’s a legitimate point to that. This isn’t me speculating about the future of sex robots and other technology that’ll likely impact our sex lives. In fact, for this thought experiment to work, I’ll have to push the concept of sex robots to an extreme that is probably beyond any technology we’ll see in our lifetimes.
That’s because it requires that we envision the concept of a “perfect” sex robots. Now, I put “perfect” in quotes because perfection is subjective, especially when it comes to complex issues like human sexuality. It’s just a useful way to envision a form of sexual expression that goes beyond just sex with robots.
For the sake of the thought experiment, here’s a quick definition of what constitutes a “perfect” sex robot.
The robot is of a humanoid form and composed of universally malleable matter. It can effectively shape-shift into anyone, taking on any appearance the user desires, including that of celebrities, fictional characters, or private citizens. The robot can also take on inhuman forms. It can have fully functional sex organs of any gender or entirely new genders.
It also has an artificial intelligence that allows it to perfectly mimic any identity, role, or personality the user wishes. There are no restrictions or taboos. The robot is completely obedient, cannot be harmed, and never suffers.
In essence, the perfect robot is like Mystique from the X-Men combined with Rosie from “The Jetsons.” It can look any way a user wants. It does anything the user wants. It’s basically the ultimate sexual outlet. It doesn’t matter how tame or perverse your kink is. This robot will act it out with you whenever you want.
Why does that matter?
Well, it matters because horrible sex crimes and abuse still happen. As disgusting as it is to acknowledge, people do horrific things to other human beings to obtain sexual gratification. While most people aren’t like that, those deviant individuals still exist. These twisted desires still exist. There are those who don’t act on them, but if the desire is there, it’s still worthy of concern.
I think it’s relevant, given how much concerns over sexual assault and sexual abuse have become in recent years. On top of those concerns, there are other taboos and cultural attitudes that have been skewing our collective sexuality for centuries. From organized religion to sexy video game characters, there are many forces influencing our desires.
That brings me back to the essence of this thought experiment. This is where we have to both use our imaginations and speculate on how we conduct ourselves in a society.
Imagine that this perfect sex robot exist.
Now, imagine that everyone has one or several as soon as they reach an age at which they can consent to sex.
Everyone can carry out whatever depraved sex act they wish with this perfect sex robot, even if it’s illegal.
It doesn’t matter what their income is, where they live, or what their background is. Everyone has access to this perfect sex robot.
People can still form relationships with real people. They can still have children and raise families, like they always do.
What would change in this scenario? How would everyone conduct themselves in a world where they always had an outlet for whatever sexual desires they wanted? From decadent billionaires to working class people, they can all live out whatever fantasy they want with whoever they want.
Take it a step further. Imagine you met someone whose predilections you knew. Maybe they share it with you or you find out. Whatever it is, you find it abhorrent. You believe that, if they did this with anyone other than a sex robot, they’d be guilty of a horrific crime. However, they’ve never done it with anyone other than the robot and never would. Would you still associate with that person?
Even if you had a guarantee that nobody ever acted out their perverse desires on anyone other than a sex robot, would you still be comfortable around that person? Hell, flip the roles. Imagine you told someone about your kinks and they found it horrifying. How would you feel if they resented you, even if you never acted on them with real people and never would?
Keep following the possibilities.
Imagine someone uses their perfect sex robot to sleep with your spouse, parent, sibling, or child.
Imagine someone who claims to be heterosexual, but engages in homosexual acts with their sex robot.
Imagine someone who is never abusive with anyone, but horrifically abuses their sex robot.
I’ll stop short of adding more layers to this experiment. I think I’ve gotten my point across. For now, I encourage everyone to contemplate this. Think about how you would conduct yourself around people in this scenario. Think about what it would mean for society, as a whole.
There are no wrong answers, but the possibilities are as profound as they are kinky.
For a good chunk of my adult life, I wasn’t much of a drinker. There’s a story behind that, but I’ll save it for another day. However, I did understand the appeal of alcohol. I also knew there was a time and a place for certain drinks. Not all were equal in terms of alcohol content, situation, or intention. A shot of Jack Daniels is not the same as a Bud Light. That much was clear.
Within that broad spectrum, though, are cocktails. Even before I started drinking, I understood they were a special kind of drink. They were almost works of art, mixing certain ingredients in just such a way that it creates a unique drinking experience. Some have strange names. From a simple Cosmopolitan to a Mojito to a Manhattan, they all offer a unique blend of sorts.
I admit I haven’t tried many of them, but of those I have, I can attest to that uniqueness. Drinking a cocktail feels like a celebration for your taste buds and your liver. It’s less about getting drunk and more about enjoying the social aspects of drinking. As a result, those social aspects can have a romantic component. I know relationships and hook-ups that began with a social gathering that involved cocktails.
When done right, and not excessively, cocktails can be a catalyst for all sorts of wonderful social interactions, including the sexy kind. I don’t claim to be a cocktail afficionado, but I do deem them worthy of some Sexy Sunday Thoughts on a morning when I’m sure some people could use both. Enjoy!
“Ideally, virgins should find someone who think being nervous during sex is hot.”
“Being sexually repressed is daring your body to get revenge on you at some point.”
“A casual friend is just someone you’re not eager to see naked.”
“Being a good listener is like being an informant to your genitals.”
“Making excuses is only as sexy as the gullibility and horniness of those listening.”
“If you still giggle when other people talk about sex, then chances are you’re not ready for it.”
“Is it possible that those who have a crush on their teachers just have a knowledge fetish?”
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